Red Pill TheoryWhy You Should Love Rejection (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1Aghayden

I had no idea that I was about to endure the most excruciating rejection of my entire life. I approached a girl standing by the bar and introduced myself:

Me: Hey, how’s it going?

Her: Fine. But I don’t want to get hit on.

Me: That’s cool. I’m not really hitting on you, just meeting new people.

Her: (No response)

Me: Okay. Well, I guess I’ll go find my friends. It was nice to meet you.

Her: You want to know something?

Me: Sure.

Her: (staring me dead in the eyes) You have the body of a twelve year-old and a woman will never love you.

There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in her voice when she said that. And if I’m being honest, it hurt, a lot. But you know what, harsh rejections like that have had a profoundly positive impact on my life.

The more rejections you go through, the less power rejection has over you. I’ve had women tell me things like:

“You’re a 3 and I’m an 8, go away.”

“Why do I never get approached by attractive guys?”

I’ve even been slapped by women I approached more than once.

And you know what? I’m grateful for all those harsh rejections, they made me a stronger, more confident person.

In this article, you’re going to learn why you shouldn’t just accept rejection, you should look forward to it.

As soon as you accept that rejection should be embraced – and even anticipated – you will not only be more successful with women, but more successful in life.


Rejection Is Like Muscle Growth


When you lift weights, you are intentionally putting yourself through physical pain. The more you damage your muscles when you work out, the stronger your muscles will become.

Rejection works exactly the same way. The more you get rejected, the more confident and attractive you will become. (https://redpilltheory.com/2018/09/22/why-do-women-have-sex-the-three-psychological-triggers/)

In exercise, this concept is easy to understand: we can see with our own eyes that lifting weights leads to muscle growth.

In success with women, it’s harder to see the connection between rejection and success. You might see a guy in a club pull a beautiful girl, but you don’t see the 10 girls who rejected him earlier that night.

The guys who have the most success with women also go through the most rejection, period.

Partly this is just basic math. I’ve approached thousands of girls, and I’ve been rejected thousands of times. But I’ve also slept with more attractive women in the last few years than most guys do in their entire lives.

On an average night out, I’ll approach about 20 women – and out of those 20 approaches I’ll only go home with one of them. Technically, 19 of those approaches ended in rejection. (Do I remember those rejections when I’m in a bed with a beautiful girl? Hell no.)

Let’s be brutally honest hear, the 19 rejections I go through in a single night is more rejection than the average goes through in an entire year.

Most guys develop a crush on a girl from work or school, then they put all their efforts into that one girl – for months, sometimes even years. They don’t approach any other women or ask anyone on a date during this period of several months.

These guys aren’t getting rejected, but they also aren’t getting laid.

If you’re not getting rejected regularly, that’s the primary reason you’re not getting the success with women you want.

It’s easy to think you’re struggling because of your looks or your job or the fact that you still live with your parents. And sure, all those factors play a role. But the root cause of an unremarkable dating life is that you’re not taking enough action.

Most of us rationalize by telling ourselves that we need a new job or to move to a better city or that we need to get in shape, or whatever else. Truthfully though, none of those factors matter – at all – unless you can say you’re getting rejected by women regularly.

Imagine an overweight person were to say, “I want to start working out, but I need to get a promotion at work first.” They would sound ridiculous.

The same is true when a single guy thinks he needs to focus on anything other than going out, approaching women, and getting rejected. If you want a better dating life, you must throw yourself into discomfort – because discomfort and growth go hand in hand.


The Truth About Rejection


If you’re not getting rejected, you’re not playing the game.

That might sound harsh, but it’s true. Forget all the articles, all the Youtube videos, and all the forums… unless you’re interacting with women in the real world and getting rejected.

(The only content worth reading if you’re not getting rejected regularly is content that shows you specifically how to go out and take action.

Challenge based programs like: Simple 30, Rules of The Game, and The Trial:Transform Your Dating Life In Eight Weeks are examples of content that can help someone who’s just starting out.)

Nothing is going to help you succeed with women unless you start putting yourself out there. In fact, consuming this content is mental masturbation unless you’re practicing in the real world.

Imagine you’ve decided to learn guitar. You start watching guitar tutorials on Youtube for several hours a week. You’re learning from these videos, but you don’t think you’re ready to start playing guitar yet.

You keep watching video tutorials until you’re ‘ready’ to play the actual guitar. Several months go by and you still can’t play a single song.

Learning about how to attract women without going out and risking rejection is just as inefficient as learning about how to play guitar without practicing on a real instrument.

Why am I ranting about this topic so aggressively? Two Reasons:

Nothing else matters until you make this mindset shift. Once you accept that rejection is the only way forward, you will make progress. But until then, everything you do is a waste of time.

This is the most common reason guys don’t get better. I’ve personally coached dozens of guys. I ask each of them how often they go out and approach women. You know what the most common answer is? Never. They haven’t taken any action, even though they’ve spent months (if not years) absorbing online content.


My Failure


I know how important it is to start getting rejected in the real world because I focused on content without taking action in the real-world. I was 16 when I read The Game, by Neil Strauss. The book taught that I could start approaching women to find an awesome girlfriend. This was a life-changing moment. I wanted nothing more than to make that happen.

But I was afraid. Really afraid. I knew that my first attempts at approaching women would be awkward. I knew I would get rejected.

So, I told myself I needed to learn more about how to pick up women before I started practicing it in the real world. I bought several of David Deangelo’s programs, I read The Art of Seduction (among other books), and I became absorbed in the world of online dating advice.

But I didn’t go out. I didn’t approach a single woman. Not until I had spent over a year “learning.”

I can honestly say I wasted hundreds of hours consuming content when I should have been taking action.

If anything, all that content made me worse rather than better. I had so much theory in my head that I became confused and overwhelmed.

I want you to avoid making the same mistake I made. (Or, if you’ve been making that mistake, I hope you’re able to finally snap out of it.)

Yes, rejection can be painful in the moment, but you should love it anyway because rejection will transform you:

Face enough rejection and you will no longer care what other people think of you.

Face enough rejection and you will no longer wonder “what would have happened if I approached that cute girl?” Because you will approach her.

Face enough rejection and you will have more success with women than most guys can even imagine.

Embracing rejection isn’t an easy step to take, but it’s the only step worth taking.

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

Pointing you per the request of an EC.

[–]leotard-princess 132 points133 points  (5 children)

Rejection makes my life simple. Get to the answer. Get there fast. Or to put it in the words of Ross Jeffries, one of the classics...

Either get with me or get out of my way so I can start chatting to that gorgeous brunette over there

[–]VolatileEnemy 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Yes, the worst thing to do for anyone here is to waste their time on a "potential woman" who is acting too friendly but is roadblocking some of your advances or plans or 'moves'.

Just move on guys.

I once found out a girl I was trying to date, had made a plan to not date someone for 4-6 months because she wasn't 'ready'... like what was she thinking, she'd string me along and drop IOIs for months? These types of women are horrible people.

[–]Frich3 13 points14 points  (1 child)

brad pitt rule.....

think she's waiting 4-6 months for that fucker? i think not.

[–]VolatileEnemy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know right... That's why I was like "ok this is a soft next... i dont know what her deal is, but she's waiting for some prince charming and if not settling in 6 months... "

But it's flabbergasting that women behave this way. Not even considering the idea of well maybe i'll have fun for 5 months with this guy and find someone else later. No, no, she's just gonna sit it out in case prince charming walks in the door any minute.

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is likely similar to when they say, "I like you and want arelationship but I just wanna be friends first." meanwhile she's fucking other dudes on the side.

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a big part of the fear of rejection, is that guys remember how things affected them from high school and middle school. At least that's how it is for me. I'm still working on approach anxiety and I usually get approached my girls, but I'm awkward as fuck when they approach because in a way it feels I'm still the subject of judgment.

Lifting weights has a foreseeable positive outcome. It will change your appearance and ability. Rejection doesn't have such an apperant positive outcome unless you've experienced it enough. It was hard for me to get things people said to me in school to stop making me believe that's who I was. I'd bet a lot of men think rejection have that negative effect on them, rather than the positive that lifting has.

[–][deleted] 110 points111 points  (1 child)

"In one day, I get rejected more then a normal guy in a year. In one year, I get laid more then a normal guy in his lifetime"

[–]stirringlion 135 points136 points  (20 children)

In regards to the actual rejection at the bar - Shit test or not, that sort of attitude when a stranger comes up to to make conversation in a social environment (it’s not like you barged in on her in the shitter) is just fucking rude. Even if I was a 3 and she was an 8 I wouldn’t want to put my dick in that sort of pathetic excuse for a person.

Sure there is the fun of playing the game, push pull, flirtatious pre-sex ritualistic dance to be had, but complete disrespect of someone as another person isn’t ‘cute’ or ‘fun’ in any way.

The girl that can reject you but stay classy about it are the ones whose shit tests you wanna pass.

You deserve better than that spoilt little cunt.

[–]Haki_User 73 points74 points  (11 children)

To be honest I stopped reading at "I even got slapped by women I approached and you know what, it's okay!" No brother it's not okay.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I didn't say it's okay, I said I was grateful for the harsh rejections I got. Totally different.

I don't think it's okay that my father died at the age of 39 due to his alcoholism. But I'm grateful it happened because it motivated me to improve as a person. You can see the value in the challenges in your life without being okay with them.

Also, I got slapped twice out of thousands and thousands of approaches. These weren't, "I want to hurt you kind of slaps," they were, "I'm offended by what you said," kind of slaps.

Every once in a while you're going to approach a crazy girl who reacts really weirdly - that is, unless you don't approach much.

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw a chick slap a guy at a bar, who she was attracted to, because he kissed her friend. Imagine if guys went around doing that shit. Of course she didnt even get thrown out of the bar.

[–]jamesbond0512 4 points5 points  (6 children)

What should have been done ?

[–]Haki_User 30 points31 points  (4 children)

There is a co-relation between the shit test he got "You have the body of a twelve year-old" and the fact that he got slapped by women.
Which is that in all probability he does have the body of a 12 year old.
What should have been done? Hulk mode in the gym obviously.
Can you imagine a woman slapping a man with a strong frame and physique? She'd wet her own pants for even thinking about it out of fear.

[–]KaraethonCycle 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I don't think this is as important as you make out. The Hulk body helps because women dig dominance and a body like that sends social cues that you're likely to be dominant so it's a positive. But ultimately, it's the dominance that's attractive, not the body (of course there are plenty of OTHER benefits to lifting, from discipline, to health to self-esteem).

As far as the fear goes, even an average (or even pretty weedy) man can beat the shit out of 99% of women (top athletes and female Israeli commandos aside) so in terms of fear I'm not sure it makes a huge difference.

[–]Haki_User 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Cause and effect brother. It's not just about how gym will make you look, but mostly about how it will make you feel.

[–]KaraethonCycle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Absolutely, I agree with that. I support lifting. And you will benefit from the endorphin rush, the confidence, the self-esteem boost, learning to maintain a disciplined practice and focus, and a bunch of other things.

I just want to make it clear that the direct boost to your looks from lifting is not that big a deal in terms of attracting women.

[–]Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lock eyes, posture slightly aggressively, but dont react otherwise. She will 9 times out of ten fuck you like the animal you are.

[–]doctorlw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, usually the girls that slap are the ones who are actually interested. It's not like a slap from a girl hurts much... it's not hard to laugh off.

[–]Tripletag 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Honestly, when I read it my first instinct was: "where the hell is OP hanging out?"

Does this kind of interaction actually happen? I thought this kind of female cruelty was reserved only for those unfortunate enough to have tangled with a BPD.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These are a few of the worst reactions I got out of thousands of approaches, those kind of rejections aren't normal, I'm just pointing out the worst of the worst.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, OP just has really low SMV.

[–]Frich3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

in all honesty when someone disrespects you in this manner, it almost always means they hate their own life and want to take it out on someone who they deem "less fortunate". i almost immediately avoid women like this because no matter what you say or do, if you arent who they would consider their knight in shining armor, you wont get the reaction you were looking for.

[–]KaraethonCycle 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Broadly agree. You'll notice if you go out enough that the hottest girls are also usually (not an absolute, but usually) the ones who have the most social grace and are the best at rejecting you in a smooth, calibrated way. They know they are hot and their worth in the SMP, and basically they're secure - they have nothing to prove. They will still reject you - but they won't insult you - it will be smooth and socially calibrated (The PUA Todd Valentine has some good stuff on this - essentially "hot girl rejection" is either (a) they completely blank you or respond like in monosyllables - they just don't engage; or (b) they will talk to you pleasantly enough but they will not flirt and they will shut down any attempt to make the conversation sexual or flirty)

This kind of nuclear rejection is something you usually (unless it's a girl having a really bad day and it gets taken out on you - that can happen with anyone) see with girls who are insecure about their own value and basically they are so insecure about themselves they get upset that a guy who appears to be of lower value than them is trying to approach them - because it makes them question their own value ("if this guy is approaching me, then am I really as attractive as I want to believe?"). A really hot girl (A HB9, or a HB8 depending on the girl) will reject you but won't question her own value. But HB6-7s (and some 8s) can give this reaction.

Also note that while there is no excuse for outright nasty, cuntish behaviour (like in the OP), a lot of attractive girls just put on a "bitchy" or "aloof" facade as a defence mechanism - you can bet she's not like that on Christmas morning at home with her dad and her brother teasing her etc. Your job is to break through the "hot club girl" facade and reach that girl underneath.

[–]BumblingBeta 6 points7 points  (1 child)

"Your job is to break through the "hot club girl" facade and reach that girl underneath."

Or you could stop wasting your time on one girl and move onto a different one. If it's taking so much effort to win over one girl, she probably isn't interested in you in the first place. Don't waste your time. Find a girl who is receptive to your approach and shows she likes you straight away.

[–]KaraethonCycle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yup, you could do that. "Screening game" or "scattershot game". There are many variations, but for example, you could walk around a nightclub at 2am holding out your hand to girls for them to take it and come to you, without saying a word (google "Hand of God PUA"). Lots of girls will shake their heads and refuse but the rejection is done in 2-3 seconds. Any girl who takes your hand and comes in for a hug almost certainly likes you enough already to fuck you. That doesn't mean it's a done deal (you still need to deal with her friends, manage the logistics, build some comfort, persuade her to leave the club with you etc), but it's an extremely effective screening method to find girls who already like your look. (BTW, if you do this to around 10 girls on the dance floor and not even one takes your hand at 2am, there is either something seriously wrong with your body language/vibe or you are seriously physically repulsive - and I don't just mean "below average looking").

OR, if you're a guy who gets plenty of sex already and isn't thirsty for sex, and views the whole "interpersonal dynamics" thing as a fun game to learn and practice social skills and interact with girls, you can actually enjoy the challenge of a more difficult target and engage your social skills to hit that target..not because it's EASY, but because it's fun and challenging.

[–]binkerfluid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 and she was an 8

the best part is she only describes herself as an 8 and still says this shit. you know she doesnt value herself enough to be a 10 or whatever

[–]TheWhiskeyTickler 45 points46 points  (8 children)

I’d like to do a survey of the entire redpill community and ask “how many women did you approach today?”

Most dudes on here think they can hit the gym and learn stoicism and chicks will come flying at them like some shitty Axe commercial. Go out get rejected and learn.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The world does not value stoicism in any way. Stoicism is for yourself.

[–]BumblingBeta 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Yeah, just hitting the gym isn't enough. The gym will make you stronger, look better and feel better. But if you aren't approaching girls, it means nothing.

[–]TheStoicCrane 2 points3 points  (5 children)

If you're in the gym just to pick-up girls you should stop wasting your time/money and cancel your membership. Lifting is purely for the lifter's well being alone when it comes to strength, longevity, etc. Everything else is just a fringe benefit.

[–]BumblingBeta 1 point2 points  (4 children)

where did i say you should approach girls in the gym? i didn't. don't twist what i say.

my point is this: your good physique means nothing unless you have the courage to ask a girl out and make a move on her sexually. i learned this from experience. a good body is just a good body. more girls will start giving you signals that they like you (as a result of your good body), but you still need to confidence to actually make the move on her.

[–]TheStoicCrane 2 points3 points  (2 children)

where did i say you should approach girls in the gym? i didn't. don't twist what i say.

By treating this like a dick measuring contest you're twisting my point.

Lifting for the sake of attracting women is a weak motivation. Weak to the point where it isn't worth doing because the first time a chick starts throwing shit that's enough to discourage lifting with that mindset.

Lifting for more meaningful purposes guarantees longer term development when it comes to muscle with the side benefit of being more physically appealing.

In otherwords. The only person one should lift for is themselves. The other benefits are fringe.

[–]BumblingBeta 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Again, where did I say that you should lift just for the sake of attracting women? I didn't. You are again twisting my words. It's part of the reason we lift, but not the full reason.

Who even cares what reason someone decides to lift? If getting more pussy is their motivation for lifting and it keeps them lifting, good for them. They get all the side benefits like good health, higher energy, more respect from guys etc. along with it.

[–]TheStoicCrane -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Good for you! Keep measuring your dick in vain. Clearly you don't understand the psychology behind it so it's a waste to bother replying.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nuanced points are tough for some people.

[–]chrisname 18 points19 points  (5 children)

I would laugh out loud if someone said that, she clearly practiced that line in front of the mirror. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind being rejected directly like that. The last girl I approached literally just ran away. Had to ask the bartender if I’m ugly or something because I’m either Frankenstein or so handsome that she couldn’t stand it.

[–]2virusofthemind 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Learn from your rejections but run the upset in a "virtual frame" in your head as if you're an observer. That way you take the good part but don't feel the bad parts.

Infield is chaos at the best of times and there are too many variables to control so don't bother trying. One of the character traits of a redpilled individual is the ability to tolerate uncertainty in the environment without having an emotional response to it.

My worst rejection and best pull both happened in the same club on the same night and only an hour apart. If I had let the rejection get to me I would never have managed my first ever HB10 later that night.

The thing is the woman who rejected me was a 7 at best and I totally miscalibrated the approach and it got bad in return. At the time I didn't know any of the rejection flip methods so I had to take it on the chin.

The 10 was a designated hard target but it went like a dream, I couldn't put a foot wrong. That's just how it goes in real life.

[–]FocusOnYourGoals 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Good points. What do you think I can do to tackle the negative thoughts of other people watching me approach in crowded places?

I can approach women in large and uncrowded places without a flinch, but the moment I see people standing around nearby or walking by, my train of thought starts to derail.

I don't know how I should handle being rejected in a setting like that. Laugh it off? Just give out a smirk?

[–]DeontologicalSanders 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a good question, and since no one bothered to answer it:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

[–]2virusofthemind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Negative thoughts" are really envious thoughts expressed by cowards. As such the only power they have is the power you give them. You're not going over to express yourself or present yourself for approval: You're going over to screen her.

[–]chrisname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. Truthfully I think I was probably just too drunk. I’ve been turned down for that reason before. It was pretty funny that she literally ran away from me though.

[–]rygy3 14 points15 points  (8 children)

That 12 year old comment was harsh as fuck 😂 I hope you came back at her with some heat

[–]VolatileEnemy 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Her: You want to know something?

This was his mistake right here.

Her: You want to know something?

He should have said: "Absolutely not."

(and the delivery is important! That sly smirk and pfft absolutely not and then begin to walk away and sit somewhere else; this is hard to do, you'd have to be quick reacting from the way her tone says "you wanna know something.." like you can tell it's gonna be something lame)

[–]Frich3 7 points8 points  (1 child)

perfect answer

Her: You want to know something?

Him: Have a good night. walks away

[–]1empatheticapathetic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Meh. It’s fun to see what they got. Can’t improve without the actual risk and discomfort as per the post states.

This is just a strategy to pre emptively avoid rejection.

[–]AlmightyPhoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"you want to know something?"
"how many bodies fit in your trunk?"

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Although he classified it as a rejection, I'd put it more in the shit test category, albeit a harsh one.

A woman who is truly turned off by a man, simply ignores his existence, like she did the first time. Then she changed her mind somewhat, she was invested enough to insult him, this was his test.

Had he come back with fire it may have changed the course of the conversation.

[–]DeontologicalSanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is no "heat" to come back with. Once she makes it obvious she does not value your attention, the only winning move is not to play. Any "witty" comeback you might spit out is just more validation for her; she made you mad, and now you feel the need to get even, and that makes her feel significant.

Remember: With women, all attention, even negative attention, is a form of validation.

Do not give it to her unearned.

[–]AlmightyPhoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't find this harsh at all tbh, could easily be countered with something and possibly turn the tides in his favor if it was equally retarded... something like "does it remind you of the kid who molested you on the playground when you were 7? is that why you hate me so much?"

[–]swordshab 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Are you really that ugly tho

[–]DropDeadTyrant 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I'm going to ask someone out for the first time tomorrow. I've set it up so if she says no, I still had plans to go alone or with my bros. So, 50/50. First success or rejection here i come.

[–]Quaternionz 3 points4 points  (1 child)

When trying to land first dates I always have backup plans that are better than the date itself. Girls flake or reject you often enough (on first dates) that caring about the outcome is just too much of an emotional rollercoaster. If you ask women out regularly and get affected by the rejections or flakes then you start going insane. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. It's not emotionally sustainable. When you get rejected you should just say "OK, that's fine, I'd rather go hang out with my bro friends anyway. Thanks for freeing up my night. NEXT!" Then you're "Up, up, up, up, up" no matter what.

You're more likely to get the date in the first place if she sees that you're not trying too hard, that you honestly don't care, and that she's not your first priority.

But here's a catch: Lots of dudes will try that strategy and think to themselves "OMG, this is going to be awesome! I'm going to care SOOOOO little that she'll get wet instantly when talking me, and I'll get the date!" That is itself a form caring. It's possible to emotionally invest in not emotionally investing, and she'll pick up on that.

Your other plans have to be legitimately better, not fake better.

[–]DropDeadTyrant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i did it and got a "I'll think about it". so, I took your advice and said, "Give me an answer tomorrow so I can make plans with other people".

[–]Rick_OShay1 7 points8 points  (2 children)

And you know what? I’m grateful for all those harsh rejections, they made me a stronger, more confident person.

Receiving nothing-but-rejection gives other men the urge to commit seppuku. Loneliness mixed with despair can be quite lethal.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Who said anything about receiving nothing but rejection? You won't receive nothing but rejection unless you're doing something VERY wrong, however, most of your interactions will technically be rejections because they won't lead to sex. It might be because the girl is just in a bad mood, maybe she doesn't find you attractive, maybe she has a boyfriend, but not every girl you approach is going to end up in your bed.

[–]Rick_OShay1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I seek a wife, not a fuck-buddy, let alone a one-night-stand.

[–]kynikos997 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I don't think I will ever love being rejected but I have come to terms with it. Looking back at my life it's been filled with rejection. Lol. Rejected from a lot of top schools, rejected by some friends and family, rejected from a lot of MD/PhD programs and on and on. Really doesn't bother me. I mean what will one more rejection do to me. Nothing. No skin off my rose nose.

[–]VolatileEnemy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone, I think Dr. Peterson, said it best: "life is suffering just find the good in it."

There are too many people out there who think they should have a normal or somewhat rejection-free life.

You were born to the wrong gender to hope for low rejections.

You deserve the best and should keep working hard, getting smarter, becoming a better man. Don't feel bad; just evolve.

Become inspired by the men who pour blood, sweat, an tears into something and make a career out of it or invent something amazing for the world; for there was a lot of men who died in a pool of blood before their 20s to defend that possibility.

[–]Ihatemoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Problem is, how can you keep going despite the world letting you know how much worth you are? Another rejection can also help you convince yourself of your lack of importance and capabilities, and that is a dark road I would not want to walk, and I had.

[–]Morphs_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just imagine a woman ever having to deal with this sort of rejection. It would cause her to jump off a building immediately.

To analyze:

You have the body of a twelve year-old

This basically says: "LIFT"

and a woman will never love you.

Heck, no woman is able to love a man the way he wants to be loved. She's probably too dumb to understand that this in essence is a TRP knowledge nugget.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Worrying about validating a girl is a waste of time. These days, she's getting validation from thirsty betas and social media likes like you wouldn't believe. Not to mention that you let your fear of validating her give you an excuse to not approach.

That being said, you should come from a frame of testing her to see if you like her, instead of the other way around.

[–]Frich3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

good way to think about it. tell my bud this alot. stop just aimlessly talking to every woman at the bars and start hitting on the ones who show you a few signs. can't shoot the ball every time with someone in your face and expect for you to make em all.. be smart/

[–]RelucBeam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is this article : https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/screening-game//

The article changed the game for me. It relates to what you're talking about. "Screening" is not covered enough but its crucial.

[–]greenlittleman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When someone openly disrespect you what would you do? Think about it, if some guy say shit to your face would you just swallow and go away as if nothing happened? But on the other hand you shouldn't antagonise people, this is where things get tricky. Basically you should "frame crush" people, but then tell them what you actually "believe what they are actually nice people" and what they shouldn't act "out of character" like this.

[–]Karastilov 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Saved u are 100% right brotha

[–]failingtheturingtest 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Fucking shameful that this has recieved the positive attention it has. Take a long hard look at yourselves, 'men'. You're making excuses for failure.

Everything you've written here is the male hamster equivalent of "I love my curves and a real man will love my curves. We all need to be happy in the body that God gave us. Now pass me another 2l bottle of coke"

What is the point? Your entire drivel is the same shot that useless door to door salesman spill to motivate each other to continue going out and being shit at sales each day.

Should you be scared of rejection? Fuck no.

Should you be improving yourself I less likely to be rejected? Fuck yes.

If a sheila has the guts to stop you can tell you that you have the body of a twelve year old, there's no other way to carve it, you are a bitch. Your frame is weak, you act like a doormat, and you keep running "game" on sheilas when you should be hitting the fucking gym.

There is no excuse to look so fucking pathetic that a sheila wants to stop you to point out that you look pathetic.

[–]AceMav21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solution for this guy run a cycle of DBol or some shit lmao

[–]GoBlocks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This. It's tough to embrace, but it's absolutely necessary.

It doesn't even need to be women rejecting you that toughens your hide. In my case, it was mainly jobs, contracts, and grad schools that rejected me and hit the hardest. It's like you said, though, do the other 9 schools matter when I'm blazing through one good program? Hell no.

I will admit, I'm not playing the game and chatting up enough women as much as I should be for reasons, but rejection in one domain can transfer over to another. Just think that the next time an 8-10 shoots you down, you've been rejected by more important things than just another woman.

EDIT: Corrected number of schools that rejected me from the last application cycle

[–]LiftMeditateApproach 32 points33 points  (26 children)

if you keep getting rejected, it means women find you physically repulsive.

it has nothing to do with your routines, confidence or other bullcrap.

one of the women even made it obvious with her comments about your "12 year old body".

you simply look like shit, and nobody wants to be near you.

begging people for sex on the street and being told to f*** off will bring no improvements to your life.

you are like a retard who constantly hits his head against a brick wall over and over again... thru lots of pain...in an effort to become einstein... but it just doesnt happen... yet the retard keeps telling himself to be confident and persistant... because without pain there is no gain... lol

let me put your life into perspective....

take a look at this picture, buddy:


you think a guy like this needs to go out everyday for years and approach 1000s of women like you do?

do you think he ever got rejected?

he could be a mute and still pull every chick in the club...

[–]kynikos997 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I am willing to bet anything that dude is 8-10% bf. Even if you look 50% of him and get to 8-10% bf, your chances will double. Seen it with my own eyes.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 15 points16 points  (1 child)

There are a bunch of people here who aren't lifting. They think there is some magic shortcut where, with a ton of effort that guys that lift dont have to put in, they could get laid once or twice.

You will never feel more like a man than when a women is going crazy with lust over you, and is giving you the "good" sex instead of the "starfish" shit she gives to beta bux.

If women arent complimenting you on your body or feeling you up regularly, get in the fucking gym. Even if they are, stay in the gym.

Last night I was out and got attacked by a group of girls at a bacherlorrette party. They started unbuttoning my shirt and feeling my chest, and one of them had one of those vibrating things that you get while waiting for a table at a restaurant and she put it on my dick as it vibrated. I grabbed that girl and kissed her, then my buddy and I left and got in our uber. He has hung around me a lot and says that he is still fucking amazed when shit like that happens. What caused even more awe in his eyes was that we just left right after that. (I never feel like dealing with the logistics of a bacherlorrette party, you have to be too high energy for that shit and they will all cockblock each other unless you're also in a large group). I have shown my buddy that trp works and he has been in the gym for 3 months now.

If shit like that isn't happening to you, stop beating yourself up and start fucking lifting! Once you get a good body that shit will happen all the time.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Yeah man, if you're in the top .0001% of guys looks-wise game is going to be easier for you.

But if you're not that guy, what are you going to do? Just be a little bitch and not take what you want from life? "These male models don't get rejected, why should I have to get rejected? It's not fair!" If that makes you feel like a winner, go for it.

To be clear, I'm not saying looks don't matter, and I'm not saying you shouldn't improve your appearance. I'm just saying your looks aren't an excuse.

I've pulled plenty of hot girls when I wasn't in the best shape. Sure, it's easier when you're ripped, but you don't want to turn into the guy who says,

"When I get to 12% body fat, then I'll start approaching."

Then you get to 12% body fat, and you think, "You know what, this isn't good enough, I'll start approaching when I get to 10% body fat."

Then you get to 10% body fat, and you think, "You know what, once I'm 8% body fat, then I'll look good enough to start approaching."

Fixating on something external becomes a never-ending treadmill.

Start taking action now, and improve your appearance while you also improve your game, confidence, etc.

[–]Shameless2018 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Scrolling down the comments it seems I'm reading a post from Slut Hate - "Looks are everything, just lift!!!" Type of shit. I'm with OP in this one, in fact I would say your confidence is directly correlated with how confortable you deal with rejection/failure!

What we are seeing here is the male hamster at full raging speed! The truth is that rejection stings so fucking hard that guys devise countless stories for not approaching, or escalating or asking for dates, or getting sexual, whatever...It fucking hurts big time! Rationalization in it's purest form! I've seen this shit on myself and in many friends of mine. It's insidious!

If your goal is to get laid with high quality women then you must be confortable with rejection, period! If you aren't chances is you are missing a lot of opportunities or settling for low caliber women (you could have better).

Another point I want you to make is that there are good looking guys which are insecure about their looks, there are rich guys that are insecure about their wealth and so on....Some years ago I was very insecure about my looks, I was out of shape and believed I was really ugly. I thought if only I was good looking I would be super confident... Irony of destiny, after a bad breakup I was forced to improve my looks and it the it happened my appearence improved greatly, I was getting complimented by my looks by many women and it felt fucking awesome. My confidence sky rocketed and I felt invencible and by consequence was getting laid with different women.

However it was short lived, some months down the road I wasn't insecure about my looks anymore but about the fact I was living with my parents. So, I managed to get my own place. Now this time I was getting insecure about my job, not doing enough money. So, I managed to get a well paid job. Now I'm insecure that my social skills/ aren't James Bond level....fuck this shit!!! Is a never-ending treadmill. I can't believe the missed opportunities I had because there is always something I lack and guess what there will always be!

I come to the realization that true confidence doesn't come from external factors, but rather from internal.

Let's be honest here - if you're rejected so what happens? A opinion of a total stranger will hurt your fragile ego? Of course by all means continue investing in yourself - looks, money, social status, etc... but at the same time improve your game and confidence.

So my questions is - are you man enough to take a rejection on the chin, smile and confidently come back for more? Or will you run, cry, bitch and settle for mediocre women?

[–]failingtheturingtest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This comment has much more value than your post.

The post is rediculous. We should definitely get comfortable with being uncomfortable with rejection. But we should not learn to accept it, like it, or expect it.

People that learn to expect rejection will get it. It's the antithesis of assumed attraction.

[–]Busancel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But if you're not that guy, what are you going to do? Just be a little bitch and not take what you want from life? If that makes you feel like a winner, go for it.

I'm almost, almost, jealous of how hard you can cope

[–]greenlittleman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think what first of all you shouldn't come from the frame which allows her to reject you. If she rejects you it means you need something from her and approached to get it. Why is it? Men don't really need anything from women, it is they who need us. You could be attracted to a girl, having sex with her could be nice, but you don't need her validation or sex, so what is rejection anyway? I assume you could be cool, so I talk to you, but I don't need anything and you could do whatever and I could go away at any moment, more so if I don't like how you act, girl. Her being bitchy, "trying to reject you" is her doing something wrong, it is not rejection, but her acting in a way you dislike. Rejection exist only in wrong interaction frames and wrong frames don't lead you to best results or to healthy self-esteem.

[–]grewapair 8 points9 points  (6 children)

One of the defining moments of my journey in life was the night I spent at a restaurant/bar next to a guy like that.

L shaped bar, he was sitting by himself at the lower right tip of the L, that only had two seats at that end. I sat next to him at the lower corner. There was a wall directly underlining the L. If he wanted to get out, I'd have to get up to let him out.

Beautiful women who wouldn't even give me the time of day if I asked them crawled over me to talk to him. Wing women appeared out of nowhere to chat me up to keep me occupied while hotties were talking to him, having mistakenly assumed we were together.

What were they saying to him? They were trying to get him to come home with them, immediately, no drinks, no get to know you dates.

That's when you realize the women are settling for you provided they can use you. No thanks.

[–]LiftMeditateApproach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sorry to hear that.. i know how much it sucks... thats why im a big advocated of going out alone...

[–]greenlittleman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probability of getting 8-10/10 girl in this way not very high. I know some very good looking guys with awesome body and they indeed approached by some women.. But most of those women I wouldn't ever want to fuck. Though it could be different in western countries, but in former Soviet Union being fit isn't enough to get laid with hotties.

[–]KaraethonCycle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guys, come on. Let's not have this looks fetishism on TRP.

Good looks help up to a point and particularly make any open easier (and as you noticed it will get some girls to come and open you - particularly the average-to-cute girls who are below your "looks level" - the smoking hot supermodel female equivalent of that guy will not be opening him like that).

But prioritizing it like this is classic projection. You think male looks are as important to women as female looks are to men. They are NOT.

It's all about Game (or "charm" and "personality" as they called it in the old days).

(Have you guys SEEN Ariana Grande's boyfriend? You see examples like that in the clubs every night if you go out).

I have a very good looking wingman (not quite as good looking as the guy in the picture, but super fit, muscles, dresses high fashion, and very good looking - the last time we went to a singles event for example, the organizer came up to him and offered to let him come free to subsequent events if he'd only turn up to the event and bestow his presence). I am distinctly average looking and do not dress anywhere near as well as him. We both have good jobs and careers but the girls don't know that from looking at us.

Do you know what happens when we talk to girls? Usually they start off focussing on him (because of the looks). As the conversation progresses, they almost always turn their focus around completely and look at me and start ignoring him (depending on how we are standing you can actually SEE them turn and show their backs to him).

This happens consistently (about 80% of the time) and is particularly pronounced with the hotter girls who are more used to goodlooking guys. The other 20% are the ones who have decided they just want him and nothing will take their focus away from him (usually these are the HB6-7s who would be way below his level unless they chased him aggressively - also, a lot of very drunk girls - who are too drunk to understand the conversation with me - do this).

How do I do it? My wingman (and friend) is a cool guy with good social skills (albeit very Blue Pill), but I simply have a much stronger personality and much stronger frame and I'm better at spiking their emotions. And they respond to that.

But if you start off with the attitude that the good looking is superior to you in Game, you're essentially admitting defeat before the battle begins and the girls will naturally sense that and respond accordingly.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]grewapair 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well you're in luck. Because any girl chad won't have, even for one night, will be happy to hang around with you(r resources)! That means fat girls, or obnoxious or crazy ones.

So don't despair. You can have any disgusting woman you want, provided you devote all of your time and money to her and expect, and get, absolutely nothing in return.

What you realize after many years of dating is that women are opportunistic. They are looking for the most they can get out of the "relationship". What facebook should have taught you is that what they want most is validation. A good looking guy means they are somebody. If they can't get that, they'll take whatever they can get, subject to their minimum standards. After a certain point down the SMV scale, they will reluctantly give up on chad to get someone waiting on them hand and foot, while giving absolutely nothing in return. Literally nothing, other than the minimum level of starfish sex to keep the resources (time and money) around.

So keep playing the game in the name of the almighty vagina. Give up your life for it, like millions of men have done before you and will continue to do in the future.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]ZephyrBluu 0 points1 point  (2 children)

In the end he have to make a value judgment that if the outcome he is getting is worth the effort and pain he is putting in.

A normal person who happens to be average or below average looking, will lose more self esteem and more time with each rejection. But in the end if he gets pussy that boosts his ego and make him happy, then it all balances out.

Personally, I think that is an utterly stupid way to spend your time and energy. Yes, you'll get laid but the amount of effort you have to put in for the reward is massive both in terms of approaching and doing work in the interaction with the girls.

I'd rather have some respect for myself and get in the gym instead of chasing poon like it's my job, which is the complete opposite of what TRP preaches.

[–]greenlittleman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you believe what just become fit guy will completely solve your sex life? Sure it will make it easier, but you still should make a lot of efforts to approach, unless you are fine with sub-par women. Though you could get some nice ones (sometimes) if you have good genetics.

[–]ADInfinitum263 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Lol what do you want him to do give up

[–]LiftMeditateApproach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no, i want him to have some respect for himself... not play the game when are odds are overwhelmingly against him... he should find another way to go about it...

[–]greenlittleman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh lol. DO you understand what if this guy start to approaching women on the street he STILL WOULD BE REJECTED BY MAJORITY? If he want to bang hot women and a lot of them then even with such looks he should either use Tinder, or go to clubs, or approach on street. He wouldn't get a lot women if he don't even talk to them, lol. And no, he couldn't "pull every chick in the club". Even hottest of guys would be rejected by majority of women if they take initiative to approach. On the other hand hot guys have some percentage of girls who'll approach them and for sure they have higher percentage of girls who'll be willing to fuck them, but still. Majority still will reject them. I tell you from experience of talking with such guys both IRL and online. And last point.. If guy have bad genetics then being fit wouldn't help him reach such results where he could be compared to really top hot guys.

[–]starky-kun 32 points33 points  (14 children)

The twelve year old comment was a shit-test IMO, you should have laughed it off, agreed and amplified or something like that. Never get angry or emotionally invested because of a shit-test, pass it instead.

[–]the-dan-man 91 points92 points  (11 children)

Have some fucking self respect. You are saying if a woman said that to you in a bar, dead serious you would laugh it off AND keep talking to her? Not every woman is worth your time and effort. Have some standards. Unless you are a clown or really thirsty to get laid, i do not see why you would want to continue to exercise the ego of some bitch that said something like that to you. I would probably laugh off her comment and tell her to go fuck herself, then leave.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]KaraethonCycle 5 points6 points  (6 children)

So this is an interesting point.

TECHNICALLY, from a Game perspective, yes it could be called a shit test (because she is challenging your frame and still talking to you instead of walking way).

So in theory it should be possible to pass the test and get the girl - probably by some variant of laughing in her face and/or agreeing and amplifying (maybe something like "Women, yeah, of course not..what about men? Do you think any of the men here would fuck me?"). What is absolutely crucial here though is that your vibe and subcommunications have to be 100% on point with ZERO sign that you are affected by her words in any way. This is INSANELY difficult to do even for really good PUAs and is impossible to fake. You nee dto genuinely have the reaction to it that you would have if your 4 year old niece called you a "silly billy" or whatever.

If you can pull that off with rock-solid frame (and ideally if you have built up some social proof in the bar so she knows other girls like you) then yes, you might be able to get a girl like this.

But I have to ask - why would you want to? No matter how hot she is, that level of unpleasantness and nastiness means I wouldn't bang her. It's below my standards.

But this kind of thing is really quite rare - girls don't generally go for that kind of overt nastiness - their core drive is social status and making things socially smooth and that is incompatible with this kind of outright nastiness.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]KaraethonCycle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well, yes and no.

There are two separate things going on here to untangle.

One is YOUR reaction to HER. So how you react to what she does/says, determines your value to her. So if you act like her shit test is no big deal, your value in her eyes goes up because you passed the test. She's judging you based on your actions.

The other is HER reaction to YOU, which are her actions, which YOU judge and use to form an opinion about her (in this case, comments about your university or about the OP's looks or whatever). YOU are judging her based on HER actions.

Do you see the distinction? Each person views the other person's actions and makes a judgment about them.

It is entirely possible for you to pass her shit test by being unfazed by her comments, AND think simultaneously that you don't want a girl who is this unpleasant (ie, she fails YOUR test).

So in the above examples, if I'm judging the girl by her actions (not the man's reaction), then I would say the girl talking about your university was not being actively unpleasant and only testing you so I'd be cool with it because she didn't say it with the intent to hurt you. While the girl who made the comment about the OP's looks (irrespective of whether he was actually hurt) was actively and deliberately being nasty and looking to hurt his feelings and that is unacceptable to me.

[–]greenlittleman 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You going from wrong perspective. Yes, she is being nasty and this what makes it much more enjoyable when she will call you master or daddy while begging you to fuck her. Usually the more nasty girl the more hardcore masochist she is.

[–]KaraethonCycle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's a personal choice - as a man it's about choosing your own values and living by them.

As I said in another post, it is (very) difficult but it is certainly possible to turn around a "no girl" like this.

But for me, the outright nastiness and going out of her way to hurt someone (not the fact she rejected me at first), would be a dealbreaker. If that isn't the case according to your values, then by all means go ahead and enjoy yourself.

[–]greenlittleman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are going from completely different frame compared to me. I don't try to "win girl" or "seduce her" and I don't perceive them like "yes or no girls". When people do something what I dislike I perceive it like them doing something wrong and not being themselves, it is never about me. If she don't want to change herself to her "better side" and "true self" then I just would be disappointed in her, what is all. No blame or hate. Just because she showed me her bad side initially doesn't mean what I should reject her without giving her a chance.

[–]VolatileEnemy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It's possible the girl was a psychopath who enjoyed seeing approaching men's reactions to over-the-top horrific insults. And maybe it was a shit test.

But it would be like filling out an application to date a psychopath.

You should reject the application yourself and tear it up.

It's much more likely she had a boyfriend and wasn't interested in people approaching her at this time and so she insulted for fun. Yes, a girl could be upset that a low-SMV guy approached her and wanted to traumatize him to make these pointless approaches stop. There is no evolutionary fear for women anymore. They're not afraid to insult you.

[–]starky-kun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, didn't expect my little post to spread out like that, so thanks guys, you do bring up valid points. Yeah I fail shit-tests all the time too, but tbh this one would not really work (I think) cause I work out and have a nice body, and women have loved me a lot in my previous relationships so I would laugh out loud at this nonsense. Plus I'm into casual sex so I don't really care what a woman thinks about me as long as she fucks me, but yeah relationship-wise her being such a bitch is definitely a red flag.

Also, instead of getting emotional you could turn the tables on her and say something like: "Why are you so polite? Is it the daddy issues?". Again, I'm not a legendary player or something, and I don't always pass shit-tests without getting emotionally invested, but I think life is all around better if you don't take things personally.

[–]markinsinz7 16 points17 points  (1 child)

There's a line separating a shit test and absolute disrespect. This line is defined by YOU.

And you'll know deep down when a bitch has crossed that line. At that point no matter how hot she is it ain't worth it cause that kind of toxicity in a person is not worth any effort. If you like the chase that's fine go ahead A&A or show no reaction at all but deep down your gut will be wrenching cause ur gut knows...

[–]menial_optimist 7 points8 points  (1 child)

This post is amazing and I understand it completely, however if anyone said something like that to me I'd be outraged not so much at the content of the message but the gall to actually deliberately go out of their way to be as vicious as possible. It makes me want to wind up in that situation and knock her the fuck out for being such an uptight bitch.

[–]Odins-left-eye 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Knock her out with your words. In this situation I like to bring out Mystery's chuckle riposte: "I eat girls like you for breakfast."

[–]Swan_in_a_Cage 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I actually prefer rejection.

It makes the validation appear like a little girl who needs my help.

[–]Jake_le_Dog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be honest if you still look like you do from your videos two years ago, and the first story was recent, then she was totally right to criticise you for your looks.

And you can obviously overcome bad looks with good game a lot of the time. But you've been posting on this sub for at least two years now, I wonder what else you've done besides larping as a successful pua.

[–]thoughtlow 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Great reminder.

Can you explain more on how to absorb content and theory in an efficient manner in connection with practice.

[–]Kanvaslaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe once you read and understood the content, go out and practice it.

[–]Dark_T100 0 points1 point  (1 child)

time breakdown should be about 5 percent or less of time reading, tapering off the more you learn, the rest practicing. eventually you shouldnt need this place anymore

[–]ChrimsonChin988 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes... but it's not as simple as you make it sound though. Like someone else in the comments mentions, you don't want to be the retard who keeps smashing his head into a brick wall again and again.

Getting used to rejections is definitely useful as it will lower your approach anxiety, freedom from outcome, experience in general etc. But the other side to the coin is that when you get feedback, you should learn from it.

If someone told me I have the body of a 12 yo kid, I'd take a hard look in the mirror, literally.

I agree with you to become good with women you must approach. However, there are many other factors that will make the process go much easier. (Lifting, hygiene, good clothing, social, cocky/funny, handsome face etc) Many of these things you can improve and will in turn improve your approaching without actually having to approach and get rejected all the time...

I get your point but let's not look over the nuance... Work hard, yes but never forget to work smart also.

[–]JeanetteAlvarez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I didn’t go out. I didn’t approach a single woman. Not until I had spent over a year “learning.”

I can honestly say I wasted hundreds of hours consuming content when I should have been taking action.

If anything, all that content made me worse rather than better. I had so much theory in my head that I became confused and overwhelmed.

Sounds like you consumed some pretty shitty content. The shit I've learned over the last few years has been incredibly valuable. It's because I didn't focus on PUA shit. Address it indirectly in ways that improve your overall life. For example, stop watching porn, lift, improve your discipline, become more assertive overall, start martial arts, meditate, read books, etc.

Too much interaction with women makes you soft. Too stable of a relationship with a woman makes you complacent. There's good reasons for remaining single in some cases.

[–]modAutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I stopped reading when you said that you get rejected by girls saying your body is shit. If you arent lifting, which is a core pillar of trp, then you're not worth listening to. Go lift a bunch of weights and put them down over and over again, then come back and make this post.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]greenlittleman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just some posts here on red pill directly say you this "I looked like shit and no one fucked me, then I started to life and girls start flocking on me and I get unlimited pussy effortlessly!". Which could be truth if you not only lift, but have top genetics and if you are fine with sub-par girls or very rare hot ones.

Main reasons to lift should be what it makes you feel better and to some extent healthier (as long as you not overdo things).

[–]Shameless2018 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Agree! Social skills + approaching >>> Lifting. Don't get me wrong lifting is healthy and will make you more physical attractive. However if you expect that going to the gym will bring loads of pussy than I think you need a reality check.

[–]KaraethonCycle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is spot on. You lift for yourself, not to get girls. Especially since it isn't even that big a deal in getting girls.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth is, over 50% of hot women are entitled bitches. Beta males create these difficult creatures.

[–]punkrockfishboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This really answers the question for guys who ask "How do I talk to girls?" The truth is, no video, advice, or dating coach will guarantee you a 100% success rate for a girl. You need to go in and risk failure and remember when you approach, your chances are always better than 0%. When you fail, figure out what you did wrong. How did you look? What did you do that ruined the interaction? The truth is 99% of women will not want to sleep with you no matter how alpha or successful in life you are. (The good news is 1% do and that is around 7 million and you obviously won't get to sleep with 7 million in your lifetime.) Every failure is experience. I remembered when I said the most cringiest things to girls, and I used to care and get depressed when I messed up. Well, did I dwell on it for months and quit? No. Why? Because there's millions of other girls to mess up on before you finally talk to girls right. For people beginning game, I would recommend when going out, I would say have fun, don't make getting laid a goal because you will become desperate. To be not needy, you have to really not be needy or act like you need to go home with a chick. If you do end up going home with a chick, cool. You can practice the next step - sex, then texting/calling depending on how far you want to go with the interaction with the certain girl. Enjoy the ride. I have to thank TRP, Roosh V, RSDTodd, and a lot of other sources to help me keep women off the pedestal. Remember, when approaching you are only interacting with her to see if you want to date or fuck her and if it's worth it. Don't put a woman on the pedestal just because she's beautiful.

[–]bonusfruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most rejections aren't so clearly articulated about how you must improve. There is no loving of rejection. There is only the deadening of your ego to the point where you can shake them off. You have to find the mental sweet spot where you can play at possessing the confidence to approach while simultaneously ignoring the power women have to swipe left on you irl like you were nothing more than an ugly batch of pixels. She has infinite sexual value even while she fails in every way at being an ideal woman, but somehow you're the prize because you struggled to fit into the mold of classic manly man. 4s are rejecting 7s and the 7s thank them for it then reflect on how they can improve.

[–]CollaterLDamage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

theres a video where Styles taught me something important.

He talks about people who can't get a women and then learning how to fuck. people learning the end game before they even now how to start. He breaks it down real simple; to sum it up, rejection is more than expected, its an obligation. you practice each step, until you can do it reliably. that means opening and being stuck with nothing to say. that means practicing things to say but not being able to close, that means being able to close and not knowing how to fuck. each step REQUIRES failure.

It's actually kind of strange when you step back and think about it. Gamers die in games all the time, but you learn from each death.

There is nobody any good in any sport who's never lost. Mayweather was an amateur before he was a pro. This sub is your coach, those books are your training, but none of it matters until you fight

[–]GodOfDinosaurs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This kind of post is what TRP is about. Thanks for your time man

[–]xMB99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a shallow person in anyway but usually I will make a couple of judgement calls before approaching a women to avoid rejection. Like eye contact and facial expressions. Usually you can tell the way she looks at you if she likes you or not. But the way you describe your method of approaching women sounds like you just hit on every one you see on the street. That's called being a desperate man whore.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. It's just a numbers game. Even if you have decent SMV, lift, dress well, and have good social skills you're probably looking at an F-close rate of ~2.5% max from cold approaches. Outcome independence and abudance are crucial for men in the sexual marketplace.

[–]newName543456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rejections like above make you end up realizing those women are garbage and you shouldn't care about them being rude to you. Remember, we're not talking about simple "No, thanks" here.

[–]KaraethonCycle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. Not so much for the advice (although it is accurate) but more for the sheer balls to take that kind of nuclear rejection on the chin and keep going.

I suspect you are below average looking (which is why you get such nuclear rejection on the open - because they haven't been exposed to your personality and charm yet) but you are also the poster-boy (poster-man!) for persevering despite that and succeeding with hot girls and proving that looks doesn't matter as much as most people think (as you found out - it mostly influences how good your initial reception is but then it's up to your Game - the opposite situation to you is when super hot jacked guy goes up to a girl and she's thrilled by his approach, but over the next 20 minutes she realizes how boring/lack of personality/beta he is and gets turned off him and starts making comments like "what a waste of good genes").

The other good thing about someone like you is that appearance/expectations contrast can really help you. If a tall, jacked good looking dude goes up to a girl, she expects him to be dominant and alpha and socially charming etc because that's what social stereotypes have led her to believe. If he's not, she's really disappointed. On the other hand she expects nothing - less than nothing - from below average looking guys and if one of them is actually alpha and charming etc, the contrast between her expectations and the reality is such a positive surprise that it works strongly in your favour.

The only thing I'd add is that there is no really practical way to turn around those "instant no" girls. So moving on is generally your best bet (overall, with the hottest girls - and especially if you are below average looking - you want to start with building social proof first - even the hottest girls will open up if they can see that you are the life of the party and you are making other groups of girls laugh and have a good time etc - you kind of want to work up to them).

I'm no male model, far from it. I'm distinctly average looking and I don't lift etc (I have a good job and career etc that usually impresses girls but they don't know that on the approach) and the worst I've received is "fuck off" and even that clearly had to do with the girl in question having a bad day and not to do with me (I've been told I'm ugly a few times in online dating, but I've also been told I'm really handsome so that doesn't really count).

Kudos man.

[–]Njevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is your opinion on approaching women where they usually aren't approached? Like on the streets or in cafés? Because less men approach them in those situations the demand is lower but the supply is obviously the same (or even higher because clubs and bars usually have a higher ratio of men). At the same time it shows confidence because you are willing to do something others even more aren't.

It's often really cringeworthy but since I put myself out there I have had more success flirting with women. It doesn't need to be more than asking a barista for her snapchat. Nothing more tbh. Unless she's in a relationship and you are at least decent looking the odds are on your side.

Example: At a hot dog stand I told the girl my friend asked for her snapchat. He became awkward and went "no I didn't". So I used the situation and said I would take it instead. Worked (at the expense of my friend though).

[–]ShotgunTRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I highly doubt you’re 1:20 lays:approaches based on the girls description of you and you’re lack of a shittest response here. ELITE pua are around 1:50

[–]whatever9855 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They check to see if you'll put them in line after they disrespect you.

[–]BigGeek43 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Happened to me once. Approached a girl, she said something nasty to me. So I told her "with that kind of an attitude, you should've stayed home. This is a social environment and if you're in a bad mood, we don't need you here. Stay home next time and watch TV".

Man, o man, she got pissed! Started threatening me with her boyfriend or something. And I just pissed her off even more. She called security guy. I told him it's all good. She said something nasty to me. When security guy walked away, I looked at her and gave her the finger. She got so pissed again. Was like, she was ready to flip.

I had so much fun with her. But really, "bar doesn't need those types of people. Just ask like a boss and tell her to go home and stay home".

Treat them like kids and order them around. Toy with their emotions for your own amusement. Who gives a fuck.

[–]AceMav21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s bipolar cunts with room temperature IQ, fuck em.

[–]AsmellyFinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're getting vicious shit tests. If you learn how to pass them, it's a layup.

[–]temerarious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interestingly, that wouldn’t hurt me at all. When somebody reveals themself as an awful person, the weight gets lifted off. I’m a good person and I’d never kick somebody when they’re down like she did you. That’s crazy. The truly awful people should be easy to confront. Just call them out.

The worst rejections are when I know they’re into me and want me to make a move and I do something that just straight turns them off. When I know they want me to create a situation that we can get down to, and I fail. We both get disappointed and we both know it’s my fault. That sucks. You can’t blame them for it. You can’t even apologize because that makes it worse. You both just stand there in the awkwardness you created lol.

But a real cunt? Easy. Point out her shitty behavior. You will win every fucking time I promise you. Don’t ever back down from that fight.

[–]Mehdi017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there is a fine line between getting rejected and getting shit on, this post is pretty much about the latter.

Have some respect for yourself, this post looks like you're begging them to sleep with you. Like wtf? You're all better then that.

Hit the gym, eat right, think right and treat yourself with respect, she'll sense it when you're talking to her and she'll be all over you. These days i don't even have to approach (i still do it because i love it, i love the thrill it gives me), girls will detect your higher state when around you.

If a girl is being a bitch to me (and i'm not talking about them shit-test bitchy attitudes), i simply walk away. My time is simply too much valuable.

[–]standardmissile 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How your actions feel out of 10:

10/10: hit on girl, get number

9/10: hit on girl, get rejected

1/10: want to hit on girl, but don't

[–]LucidCunning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You have the body of a twelve year-old and a woman will never love you."

Holy fuck, who put a stick of *that* bitch's ass?

[–]SKRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Normally you're not supposed to use examples of fiction, less parody fiction - but hey, sometimes thinking like an amused villain is a good idea : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMBbWE1wCKI

And second : Don't date crazy...

[–]Aazaad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have been slapped by a girl and think it is ok and a part of growing up, then you really haven't grown. If she specifically said that you have the body of a 12 year old then I am guessing you don't lift.

You need to work on self improvement and holding frame before you build a stamina for rejection.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is only loosely related but the title of your post reminded me of something:

"You're not getting paid for the 'Yes's , you're getting paid for all the 'No's"

One of the mantras my boss used to repeat at my sales job. Now obviously we were getting paid for each 'Yes' but if everyone said yes there'd be no need to pay someone to find them.

[–]celincelin -1 points0 points  (3 children)

The more you damage your muscles when you work out, the stronger your muscles will become.

How very ironic this bullshit is upvoted here where everyone is a lifting expert.

[–]chrisname 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It’s true-ish. Damage to muscle fibres stimulates growth and the more damage, the more growth. There was an experiment done with this glove that instantly cools your arm down by something like a degree which for some reason allows you to keep lifting for hours without getting fatigued. People who used it gained muscle at a much higher rate than the control group because they were able to stimulate more growth. The effect was greater than steroids, which work in a similar way (make your muscles recover faster so you can hit them harder).

Here’s the glove experiment: https://news.stanford.edu/2012/08/29/cooling-glove-research-082912/

[–]celincelin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tearing it is even more damage; not letting it recover properly damages it, too. Where's growth in that?

[–]greenlittleman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't see anything said about muscle gain, it was mentioned what muscle recover faster, even compared to accelerated muscle recovery from steroids. If muscle growth rates are truth then it would be cool, such glove cost less than 1000$ which isn't a lot compared to cost of steroids and one year in gym.

[–]freestyler2k1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What separates a winner from a looser? The winner looses more offen! Not only true regarding woman!

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You actually listen to the shit that comes out of women's mouths lmao