FinanceNever give a woman power over you (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by SwoleyMoleyFrijoley

TL:DR: The second she has leverage over you, she will rationalize using it against you as a power move.

Long story short, I had a drinking problem for a while in 2012-2013 when I was bluepill. My kid's mom ran up my credit card and credit accounts to about 30k, I lost my job, and I ended up being foreclosed on my house. Life was grim. I was arrested 3 times for OWI and drunk-in-public. I thought I would end up dead or in prison before long. I was also 300lbs and believed in "True Love conquering all".

I found the redpill and I have turned my entire life around. I put down the bottle and picked up a barbell. I am now a respected and known insurance specialist in my city. It's been a long, slow climb out of hell, and I have my life in a good position finally. I compete in strongman (Alpha AF if you ever get the chance. Panties drop when you lift a car for fun), have sub 15% bodyfat, 6'2" and good looking. I make 60k+, have an LTR of 1.5 years, hot, younger than me, good with my daughter and owns her own business (still AWALT though). I've checked her phone multiple times when she didn't know and I've seen her shoot orbiters down time and time again, some of them being rich or ripped, so I trust but verify.

I've gained full custody of my daughter I am graduating college this month at 32 years old. I am up for a promotion in a month. I'm not trying to humblebrag, the point I'm trying to make is that things are great for me and I handle my shit.

I have some leftover debts from the bad times that are almost paid off, and in an effort to avoid having any judgement against me clean out my banking account, I haven't had a checking account in years, paying everything in cash or using a prepaid card that I can direct deposit my paycheck onto.

To pay off these last debts, I requested a loan against my own 401k, which I received a check for earlier this week. The check is too large to cash at Walmart ($5000 limit) or to deposit on my prepaid card, so I need someone I trust with a checking account to sign it over to, then immediately withdrawal the funds so I can start paying off my debts and being COMPLETELY debt free.

I told my LTR I wanted her help to cash the check a week before I got the check and she agreed without a second thought. She's typically very "US vs. Life" and we support each other pretty well, which is why she's my LTR. I cover her rent at the beginning of the month, and she pays me back by the end because she's self-employed. I lend her cash here and there, she lends me cash here and there, etc. The team effort is there most of the time. I can count on her, usually.

But the moment I actually got the check, and asked her when she can go to the bank with me to cash it, she quickly tried to (stealthily) tell me that SHE thinks I should just deposit it in her account, and that she'd write the checks herself for my debts because suddenly "you're not good with money". Her tone sounded like she's trying to help me, but I could smell the manipulation for what it is.

She wants the power over me. She wants the money under her control so she can tell me how to spend and when. I suggested using $50 of the money to get some new towels we need at home, and she said "That's the kind of stupid shit we don't need to waste OUR money on"

Lesson learned. I texted my brother and he's going to help me cash it instead. I told her plainly that I love her, but that I am disappointed in her and I will not be told how and when to spend money that I earned, and that she's no longer part of the conversation with anything regarding my finances, at any point. She got pissed off and I went to work, telling her on my way out that the sex will be better later if she's mad so to keep up the huffing and puffing (amused mastery).

You can be chad-like (weird to think of myself like that, coming from 30 years of beta bluepilled thinking), you can be a big, muscular, intelligent and successful guy, but she will still try and take the power. I could let this sour the relationship, but I consider this kind of shit as par for the course of any LTR. They want to fight you, and they want to lose. She lost this conflict, and there were immediate measurable consequences. I don't consider myself a RP wizard by any means, but I think I handled this well.

Thanks guys! This sub has changed my life for the better and I'd be dead or in jail without the things I learned here.

Edit: Removed some identifying info.

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[–]innominating 109 points110 points  (6 children)

The whole check thing is a massive reminder to everyone involved how beta you used to be and how in the past you didn’t own your shit.

Shake it off. You’re doing what you can to redeem the past. She’s being a woman. You’re response was appropriate.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 49 points50 points  (5 children)

You're right. What I should have done was handle the entire situation without her knowledge. Acta non verba.

[–]Pezotecom 41 points42 points  (1 child)

I think you did ok, after all, you say you two had this 'teamwork' around money, so it was expected for her to keep acting like it.

As she did not, you now know more about the person you are with.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep I counted on her too much. I didn't apply the "right now I feel like" rule to her teamwork. "Right now I feel like" we're a team and we help each other out with money. Second she got that leverage? Tried to strongarm me to have power.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Yes. People that come into your life are a blessing or a lesson. She taught me a lesson about her integrity, or lack thereof. If you want to know what a person is really like, see what they do with power.

    [–]dontbethatguynow 77 points78 points  (1 child)

    Its not too "alpha" to not have a checking account. Life is just gonna be hard for you if don't ever plan on banking. settle with the collectors they'll cut you a deal.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    You're right. 100%. This last bit of debt-paying will clear the road for me to open one again.

    [–]Churningaway 36 points37 points  (1 child)

    Amen. As soon as the girl starts telling you what you can / should / could do with 'our' money. That's a red flag on fire.

    I consider myself among the lucky segment of the TRP population as I stumbled upon all this right as my close buddies were getting married and one of them even called me asking how to open a joint account with his new wife. Now that I look back, I can only thank whatever dieties that exist that my money has stayed safe and sound. And will continue to be

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Agreed. Blatant power grab/manipulative action. This is where the red pill really shines because without seeing the "matrix" a BP beta might have believed her bullshit.

    [–]Dark_T100 62 points63 points  (3 children)

    it truly astounds me when i see cucks opening a shared credit card with their "girlfriends". it happens more frequently than youd expect.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    You're right. The trust was too high with my kid's mom. This one too. I should have assumed the worst. People are either a blessing or a lesson. Both are lessons!

    [–]NorthLocation12 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Last year I knew a guy that bought a house and put it under his gf name. Even at the age of 21 I knew that relationship was doomed. You can never truly know someone until they live with you or you lend them money.

    [–]Pestilence1911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh man like three guys on my crew have had their exs take their cards and max them out.

    I dont know why women would do this, i mean. Theyd technically get away with it cause of the pussypass, and the signee would be liable for the debt....hmm

    [–]xddm2653 52 points53 points  (14 children)

    There's a trick I use to avoid getting my account cleaned. I have a personal line of credit for $10,000 and I take bills out from there. Any time I deposit money I immediately transfer it to there, so my checking remains at 0

    [–]MaterialProgress 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    I want to know more about this. Any fees involved, or do you just have to pay off the amounts with X days?

    [–]xddm2653 14 points15 points  (4 children)

    It's like a credit card with way less interest. There's minimum payments but the cool thing is it auto-pays your bills if your checking is at 0$. So no overdraft fees, and bank levys cannot force you to borrow against your own credit line. So if you get direct deposit at midnight just transfer the funds over asap

    [–]destraht 14 points15 points  (3 children)

    Do you know how quickly the collectors can find out that you have money? Does the bank automatically ping them or does the query have to be initiated of their side?

    I wish that there were more articles revealing how it works like I never knew how screwed up global banking was until I started my own bank. I know that the IRS is totally screwed up because they use an ancient Cobol system that needs to have the yearly rules programmed into it. They could never redesign it without just shit canning the past. That means that the hooks built into it are pretty limited in terms of what you would expect from a modern system. It seems that is the only thing preventing them from being two feet up our asses and why they rely so heavily on the credit check companies. The credit check companies are capable of producing modern systems and so there is competition in that fascist extension.

    Straight from the IRS website: IRS Urges Travelers Requiring Passports to Pay Their Back Taxes or Enter into Payment Agreements; People Owing $51,000 or More Covered. As far as I know the only way to lose your passport without doing something truly heinous was If you owe $2,500 or more in child support, you are not eligible to receive a U.S. passport. I learned about this ten years ago in Nicaragua when my ex US Special Forces business partner went to renew his passport and instead received a hole punch through his valid passport and then told to take the first flight home. That experience was the final conclusion to my practice of keeping a tight lid on my special juices. So I just see it that disabled people = good, you aren't against disabled people are you? Deadbeat dads = bad, you aren't for deadbeat dads are you? I've known for many years that they would be adding further stipulations on passports since it was clearly laid out for me in articles that revealed attempts. I can't remember those details and I don't need to keep all of that in my head in order to know what I need to know about that situation.

    So the PATRIOT ACT (don't lower case that shit) was almost entirely a banking act that sought to keep Baby Boomer money tied up in the jealous and slowly failing US system. Everything plays into this; such as ridiculously P/E ratio stocks that allow banks to leverage up laundered drug money and the entire profile of smart lay investors who are seeking to avoid double hits. So my strategy is to always appear as one of the millions of discarded Americans whom have nothing left to be squeezed from. Nothing pushes an asset feed into the dilapidated IRS system and so I might as well be dead. There is so much lay money still to be cherry picked and then its onto the next lower tier until the country is bled dry. They will further lock down the populace at each stage as the next best money grab dries up. For the medium term future they appear to only be targeting the renewal of passports since that creates minimal push back as it just slowly rolls in. If they were to hard snatch people at airports across the world then the disruption would be very noticeable and that level of activism is just not necessary on their part. This plays out in lurches and pauses and since we have been in a pause period with an all time high stock market then it follows that the lurch period is close to arriving.

    I've realized that they always create periods of unbearable stress right before the lurches and people simply go numb and wait for it to be over then the next period of relaxed normalization takes hold and then people are rewarded with ease for a moment in order to reinforce the future processes. This is largely why we are conditioned to not be unable to endure momentary hardship with our purpose and resolve intact.

    So onto the final part. I'm slightly concerned about the Southern wall being built up to fortress levels to keep Central Americans out because walls work both ways. I see it that the elites who are running these long term plunder schemes have created a situation in which something truly has to be done or the country will no longer have territorial integrity and if something is done then it plays into their schemes for locking the country down for the purposes of extending the duration of the plunder.

    [–]xddm2653 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    They don't know until they levy. But the levy will come in the dark. I only had $90 in my account luckily and until I resolve the issue I'm keeping 0 in my checking. It's an unfair judgement so that's why I'm playing the system

    One thing I would like to know is if investment accounts can be targeted, or even your own stocks

    [–]destraht 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    It's an unfair judgement so that's why I'm playing the system

    I know that one. I had a failed business during the crisis with an untimely family death immediately after that and then when I got my shit together after just several months then I discovered what they expected of me and so I quietly told them to fuck off. For many men it seems that after a chaotic period of divorce and business failure that the woman will go after the man's professional license in a "that will teach him about not paying" and then the man is unable to work at an expected level. Super gnarly and I've witnessed that some times. That isn't something that I need to worry about but if they go after my passport then its war.

    [–]Patric_MasterBateman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    how did you start your own bank?

    [–]mountainbiker178 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    What is "cleaning an account" and why should I do it?

    [–]xddm2653 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Bank levys. If you owe a judgement or back taxes.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    A creditor can clean out your bank account if they get a judgement against you for what you owe them.

    [–]THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    this depends on what state (of record) your bank has on file. There are a few states in the US that will not levy against you other than federal government. Also some states will not garnish wages aside from Child support and federal taxes.

    The only state I know that will not allow levies or wage garnishment (aside from federal and child support) is Texas, there may be other states that overlap with levys and wage garnishment.

    additionally you do not have to LIVE in said state, simply have an address in Texas (or the state you choose). Though personally I prefer Credit Unions, there are however two downsides to this.

    1. the bank/CU must have a branch in the state you have set as your mailing address. If the bank/CU does not exist in said state I THINK they use their main branch as far as rules etc. ( I have not had to deal with this issue so I am not sure on this point)
    2. If you lose your debit card the Bank will only mail a new debit card to your mailing address. You may be able to convince them to mail to where you are "traveling to/on vacation"

    [–]Dravous 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    that still counts as borrowing money though right? so it helps your credit score?

    [–]xddm2653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    yep the monthly payments do. And so does the available credit

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Did you have to have a secured line of credit like a CD to back the credit line? I'm not sure I could swing that easily. How did you get that setup?

    [–]xddm2653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Can you get approved for CCs? If so it shouldn't be a problem, although my banking history probably helped.

    [–]scromboidfish 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    A great read, no humble brag here.

    Big up to you for walking the hard road.

    [–][deleted]  (9 children)


    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    You're right about a lot of that. LTR is TRP on hard mode, and mistakes get made. I'm not Chad Thundercock by any means. Not mine just my turn, etc. The rent thing, and lending money back and forth, etc was illustrating that typically we help each other out reasonably, but I see your points and I consider feedback a gift so thank you.

    [–]fuggetboutit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Money will always be a loose terrain, a few wrong steps and you are down a landslide.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hey thanks for pointing out the personally Identifying info btw. You're right about more the more I digest your comment.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    The above, checking the phone, means nothing.

    Like, how did they get her phone no or her facebook ID...

    ... tinder perhaps


    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Good question. She charges it while she showers and doesn't lock it. Doesn't take more than a minute to look through messenger, texts, etc. If she's hiding something, and heck she could be, she's doing a great job. Home computer has a keylogger. Trust, but verify. If she cheats, her loss. I'll just move on and wish her the best.

    [–]okczq 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Just be careful with this shit. I was there at one time with the keylogger and the checking the phone. Honestly it says more about us than them.

    True frame is IDGAF who you're texting. If you leave you'll be downgrading and I'll be upgrading. There's the door. It can be hard to remember years into a LTR, though.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    True. I listen to a playlist of Patrice O'Neal whenever I feel like I'm slipping into being a beta around her.

    [–]Flying_Wingback 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I like the line about sex being better later on, gonna steal it

    [–]moltenw 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    One thing that you didn't need to have in all of this - expectations.

    You expected her to act a certain way because of the "teamwork" aspect you guys have had before. Do not do this. Either your expectations are filled and you feel like you thought you would, or they don't and you feel "bad" emotions like you did.

    Good thing that you did what you did afterwards, but again -

    LITERALLY never have expectations. Don't expect to get the promotion next month, don't expect anything out of this girl. Having expectations in no way helps you achieve your goals.


    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yep I need to be more "Expect nothing and I can't be disappointed"

    [–]MrCongeniality1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Your example is a really important one for men to understand.

    Most men grow up to develop a code of conduct and internalize a sense of fairness. This is not true for women. They are opportunistic beings that will persuade, coerce, rationalize, lie, manipulate, etc. to gain power and control. It doesn't matter how docile, accommodating, or submissive she is - give her an inch she will take all ten...wait, bad analogy.

    There are a lot of reasons for this, but the least cynical one is that women are programmed to worry. They know that their value goes down with time and they are constantly afraid of being abandoned and left to struggle through life. Having a man's full commitment/resources is also necessary for the best outcomes for their children. Some women have better guidance and are taught that most guys will be more committed the better you treat them, but modern feminism has mostly destroyed any kind of cultural knowledge about "how to treat your man." So, like children without parental guidance, they just exercise their base emotional impulses (with mixed results).

    [–]pythasaurus 16 points17 points  (16 children)

    Inspiring and informative read. And no, I didn't take it as you bragging in any way at all. Thanks for sharing.

    [–]SpectacularFox 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You handled it great. She will respect you more now.

    [–]bob13bob 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    did you try the debt negotiator? You shouldnt pay face value on your debt if you don't have to.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I have them down to about half the face value through a financial advisor, he negotiated on my behalf. My employer has an employee assistance program which gives me free help with stuff like that.

    [–]I_am_Jax_account 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    You know after 7 years of inactivity on a debt, they can no longer pursue repayment. Even a chapter 7 Bankruptcy is better for your credit than years on top of years of personal debt. I think you should talk to a lawyer instead of a financial adviser. In fact, if they still report a debt with over 7 years of inactivity to the credit agencies, you can send them a cease and desist and then sue them. I'd really consult an attorney. I suspect you are unduly burdening yourself.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Really? I will contact an attorney before I pay then. Thank you.

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is a great post - thanks for taking the time to write it.

    You're right OP - the second a woman has power over you she'll use it... and the second she has power over your money she'll consider it her own.

    In general a man should do everything in his power never to be in a position where he is dependent on a woman (or anyone else) for anything. As soon as she has leverage, she'll use it. In this case it's control over finances but it happens in all other cases too. Financial, housing, sexual dependence on one woman all cause huge problems for a man.

    [–]Xoramung 1 point2 points  (8 children)

    I was also 300lbs and believed in "True Love conquering all". )have sub 15% bodyfat, 6'2"

    Good on you man, very good effort.

    I am curious, how is the skin? was it loose, is it back to normal or not really? serious question? any tips or what not? you can PM if its too much details or whatever.


    I've checked her phone multiple times when she didn't know and I've seen her shoot orbiters down time and time again, some of them being rich or ripped, so I trust but verify.

    Why is it not possible to tell her not to even have orbiters? or not possible at all?

    Inspiring post!

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 4 points5 points  (7 children)

    Loose skin isn't an issue for me luckily. I lost weight through intermittent fasting and then eventually just water fasting. The excess skin is protein that the body eats up through autophagy. Look up fasting autophagy if you're curious.

    Regarding orbiters, every hot woman has a few. I think it'd be more unattractive to seem threatened by them then just let it go. If she entertained their advances, or cheated, I'd just drop her and move on. If a woman wants to cheat, she'll find a way. Best to just be the kind of guy they wouldn't dare cheat on. But then again, AWALT.

    [–]John_Smith_legend 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    dry fasting is amazing for eating up loose skin too. props for being informed

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Dry fasting is the shit. You can't beat the speed of results.

    [–]Xoramung 1 point2 points  (4 children)


    How long did you Int. Fast for? was it say 16/8 and for 1 year (something to this effect)?

    I am guessing you went a lowish carb approach? or do you train "on the daily!"

    How long did you water fast for, 1 day a week? 18hrs? (skipping breakfast and lunch and then eating dinner?)

    Also, how did you dry fast? 1 day a week?

    Thanks man, i think your post made my motivation go up.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I intermittent fasted for 2-3 years and that got me from 295lbs to something like 245lbs. From there, I started reading more and more about fasting and its benefits, and I transitioned to OMAD (One meal a day). This OMAD might be 2500-3000 calories but it is partitioned in such a fashion that I have maximum muscle gain and fat loss. High protein, High carb, low fat.

    I water fast for up to a week when the mood strikes me or I start to feel soft/fat. I haven't gone over a week.

    I dry fast for 1-2 days a few times a month. It is tough but has amazing benefits.

    Fasting is as life-changing as quitting drinking was. It is as healthy as a person can be. Look up "Snake Diet" on Youtube. The guy Cole is amazing and closely resembles what I do. I don't necessarily agree with EVERYTHING he says, but his fasting knowledge is second-to-none.

    [–]Xoramung 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    thanks mate, appreciate your replies.

    3k meal in one sitting, (assuming 40/40/20 split of macros) i guess i could do that in 1-2hrs.

    How long did you OMAD for? was that for another 2-3 years? or was it faster? say 6 months down from 245lbs to 200 or whatever.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I did OMAD for another two years or so. I still do OMAD combined with the longer fast so I guess you could it's something like 4 eating days a week. Alternate day fasting is powerful as well. Just eat every other day on lifting days and skip food on rest days.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You can lose 2-3 lbs a week easily with fasting with no strength loss.

    [–]Sake99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Does that mean men should handle all of their affairs without telling women at all? If women were to get invovled in things then what things?

    [–]Patric_MasterBateman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Congrats on quitting drinking bro, AND you quit being fat. Most people struggle slowing down drinking or slowing down on the bad food. Good Job bro.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks man. It took hitting what I considered rock bottom. But I hit it so hard that I bounced. TRP helped a lot. Helped me become a man instead of boy trying to drown my feelings.

    [–]dgillz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Assuming the check is drawn on a bank that has a local branch, just show up with ID and cash it. The biggest check I have done this with was $5,600, and the actual branch my customer wrote the check was 250 miles and 2 states away. I never had a problem.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The bank is located in another state. No local branch or that's what I'd be doing for sure.

    [–]throwaway_ftb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "never give a woman power over you", dead right, that means no marriage and no kids.

    [–]Nicolas0631 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    First, great job man, life was not easy on you but you made it!

    Then I'd say it really depend on who. This isn't even linked to the sex of the person. You were trustful, didn't mind paying for her and get the money back later. You were trustful. She was not. But some men are like that to.

    By the way, my ex was like that. My money was "our" money and I was "not smart" on how I spent it in her opinion lol. For her it was normal to buy the most expensive cosmetics, bag and luxury food for her, but all the rest was unecessary. I was also not earning enough of it or even oriented enough toward career growth even through I earn 50% more than her and in a much better position than her even through we were same age and same speciality and diploma. My goal should be to climp the ladder as fast as I can, gain as much money as I can to pay for her... She know I'am going to get a significant raise this year again but it is never enough.

    But we see it in women because we are men looking for women. Some men are really bad too, but we are not interrested in discovering that aspect of life lol.

    [–]tolerantman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It is called the world's oldest profession for a reason...

    [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 3 points4 points  (7 children)

    She wants the power over me. She wants the money under her control so she can tell me how to spend and when. I suggested using $50 of the money to get some new towels we need at home, and she said "That's the kind of stupid shit we don't need to waste OUR money on"

    Sounds like a helluva frame

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Exactly my point of the post. The second she had any advantage she went into bitch mode.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro -1 points0 points  (5 children)

    She, she, she, she, she, she, she

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    Does your sexual strategy focus on men? More power to you man.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

    Ego starts to boil. "Downvote" clicked. THIS WILL SHOW HIM. Ad-personam mode active...

    Good ego, good ego. Defend this man with a mind of a 2-yr old tit sucker.

    Found your mommy yet?

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    How you're endorsed is beyond me but I'll uh, consider your points. Feedback is a gift, man.

    [–]IvyExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Honestly, preach. Exaddictbro should be unpointed

    [–]xMB99 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    She ran your credit up 30k and you were afraid you were going to go to jail? Damn why didn't you get her arrested? That shits mad easy to trace too.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I thought that if I kept drinking too much I'd end up in prison eventually. Probably for OWI or getting in a wreck. I was a shitshow. Regarding the credit, I was working two jobs and "trusted" her to only use credit for what we needed. Learn that lesson the hard way. Never going in with a woman financially again. For any reason.

    [–]cuteshooter -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

    Stopped when you said you check her phone. Cuck move.

    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    Trust but verify. It's no different than checking the return on an investment. Know when to sell.

    [–]cuteshooter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm in a different world. Number one, for some, I don't care what they do. They don't care what I do.

    Number two, for the rest, they damm well aren't going to look at my phone, and they deserve that in return.

    Sounds like you're playing old games of monogamy, double standard and possession.

    Too bad.

    [–] points points

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    [–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Sure I can see that. It isn't like a 'Every time she showers I'm scouring her entire phone for evidence of cheating" it's more like "Hey it's been a few months, and she's in the shower, I'll just take a gander and see if there is anything fucky going on. Quick skim of the phone, nothing looks off, move on"

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)