TL:DR: The second she has leverage over you, she will rationalize using it against you as a power move.
Long story short, I had a drinking problem for a while in 2012-2013 when I was bluepill. My kid's mom ran up my credit card and credit accounts to about 30k, I lost my job, and I ended up being foreclosed on my house. Life was grim. I was arrested 3 times for OWI and drunk-in-public. I thought I would end up dead or in prison before long. I was also 300lbs and believed in "True Love conquering all".
I found the redpill and I have turned my entire life around. I put down the bottle and picked up a barbell. I am now a respected and known insurance specialist in my city. It's been a long, slow climb out of hell, and I have my life in a good position finally. I compete in strongman (Alpha AF if you ever get the chance. Panties drop when you lift a car for fun), have sub 15% bodyfat, 6'2" and good looking. I make 60k+, have an LTR of 1.5 years, hot, younger than me, good with my daughter and owns her own business (still AWALT though). I've checked her phone multiple times when she didn't know and I've seen her shoot orbiters down time and time again, some of them being rich or ripped, so I trust but verify.
I've gained full custody of my daughter I am graduating college this month at 32 years old. I am up for a promotion in a month. I'm not trying to humblebrag, the point I'm trying to make is that things are great for me and I handle my shit.
I have some leftover debts from the bad times that are almost paid off, and in an effort to avoid having any judgement against me clean out my banking account, I haven't had a checking account in years, paying everything in cash or using a prepaid card that I can direct deposit my paycheck onto.
To pay off these last debts, I requested a loan against my own 401k, which I received a check for earlier this week. The check is too large to cash at Walmart ($5000 limit) or to deposit on my prepaid card, so I need someone I trust with a checking account to sign it over to, then immediately withdrawal the funds so I can start paying off my debts and being COMPLETELY debt free.
I told my LTR I wanted her help to cash the check a week before I got the check and she agreed without a second thought. She's typically very "US vs. Life" and we support each other pretty well, which is why she's my LTR. I cover her rent at the beginning of the month, and she pays me back by the end because she's self-employed. I lend her cash here and there, she lends me cash here and there, etc. The team effort is there most of the time. I can count on her, usually.
But the moment I actually got the check, and asked her when she can go to the bank with me to cash it, she quickly tried to (stealthily) tell me that SHE thinks I should just deposit it in her account, and that she'd write the checks herself for my debts because suddenly "you're not good with money". Her tone sounded like she's trying to help me, but I could smell the manipulation for what it is.
She wants the power over me. She wants the money under her control so she can tell me how to spend and when. I suggested using $50 of the money to get some new towels we need at home, and she said "That's the kind of stupid shit we don't need to waste OUR money on"
Lesson learned. I texted my brother and he's going to help me cash it instead. I told her plainly that I love her, but that I am disappointed in her and I will not be told how and when to spend money that I earned, and that she's no longer part of the conversation with anything regarding my finances, at any point. She got pissed off and I went to work, telling her on my way out that the sex will be better later if she's mad so to keep up the huffing and puffing (amused mastery).
You can be chad-like (weird to think of myself like that, coming from 30 years of beta bluepilled thinking), you can be a big, muscular, intelligent and successful guy, but she will still try and take the power. I could let this sour the relationship, but I consider this kind of shit as par for the course of any LTR. They want to fight you, and they want to lose. She lost this conflict, and there were immediate measurable consequences. I don't consider myself a RP wizard by any means, but I think I handled this well.
Thanks guys! This sub has changed my life for the better and I'd be dead or in jail without the things I learned here.
Edit: Removed some identifying info.