I finally understood that the state of relaxation is what I been after all my life. not happiness. not material things, not hooking up with girls and not seeking a purpose or meaning to my life.
a state of Relaxation
When you are totally relaxed you are not bothered with those thoughts about "purpose" or "meaning".
at that moment you are the meaning, you are the purpose.
in fact, next time you find yourself asking yourself: "what is the purpose to my life" or "I need to find a purpose" - that is a clear sign you are not in a state of relaxation.
Relaxation is the key to your happiness.
I mean what the hell is "happy" anyway? can you even be happy 24/7? I guess some insane people are but that's not the way we can live our life.
relaxation is a choice we can make every second, in every situation, the good and the bad.
I make it into a daily practice when I leave the house. I am going to stay relaxed no matter what will happen. that is my life goal. in fact it's the only thing that really matters to me.
nothing will be enjoyable if you are stressed.
you can have sex with the hottest girl you ever met but if you find yourself stressing about it while in the act... then guess what, that experience is not going to be that much fun.
when you are relaxed you feel complete. you feel content. you have everything to give and nothing to achieve. you just need to find the right girl to get that present from you.
You know what I love the most about this relaxation thing?
I know how to achieve it. in my body and in my mind.
honestly if you put some effort into it, its not that difficult.
there are actual things you and me can do right now to relax ourselves. there are proven practices for the body and mind that are 100% efficient to bring more calmness into our lives.
In fact they are so simple the mind doesn't like that. he wants complex solutions to our problems. after all, we have complex problems so the solution have to be complex as well right?
it must be that $5000 workshop on how to find purpose, or reading tons of self help books or going to India to live in an ashram for a year.
I mean it can't be that sitting for 10 minutes relaxing the tension in our body and mind to be the answer to all of our problems right?
It sure fucking can.
Another cool thing is that relaxation is something you can be totally aware of where you stand with. Am I somewhat nervous? am I perfectly calm? you can tell by how your body feels, by the stream of your thoughts in your head.
"I feel some stress in my legs, lets tune it up be putting our attention on it and relaxing it"
"my mind is too active. I will observe my breath for 10 min and calm it down"
It is so much more efficient then having a vague goal like "being happy"
relaxation is key to your success with girls
they tell you to be playful , that girls love it.
Try to be playful and cold approach a girl while you are nervous.
spoiler: it's going to suck ass. you will want to finish the conversation as quickly as possible to make that awful tense feeling in your body to go away. you will try to appear playful and relaxed but your body language and energy will scream: tension.
Now imagine that scenario when you are perfectly calm, perfectly relaxed. it's going to be awesome. even if she tells you to fuck off it's still going to be an interesting experience. no biggie.
You will not be a needy beta when you are relaxed. When you are relaxed you will feel content. Happy with yourself and life. All of sudden all those questions of how how do I behave in this or that scenario will vanish. You will do what you do and since it’s not coming from a place of anxiety and neediness it’s going to work.
you won’t have to fake it till you make it
You will be it.
Few things I do to bring my body and mind into a relaxed state:
- Meditation - this one is no surprise, the gold standard for relaxation. if you have to choose only one thing from this list, please choose to have a daily meditation routine.
When I sit for my daily meditation I know why I am doing it. I'm doing it to relax.
I do that by widen the gap between the thoughts in my head, to have more empty space. thoughts can cause stress, over thinking can cause anxiety.
Avoiding stressful TV shows, movies, etc. this is a big one and I know it won't be easy to many of you. but TV shows and movies can bring a lot of tension into the body, you are watching things you are not suppose to see, for the mind all those horrible things you see on the screen are actually happening and it tense it up. the body as well. even TV shows that you think are "safe" to watch like reality cooking shows are being edited in a way that tense up the body with their sounds effects and quick cuts and edits.
try to avoid all that shit.
Physical activity. great stress reliever, using up excess energy after sitting for long time. releases good hormones in the brain. Run, walk, lift heavy things (don't over do it though as it can back fire)
Being in nature - self explanatory. sitting on the beach or taking a walk in a green area with no cars or people.
Calming music, guided meditation, self-Hypnosis, sounds of the ocean. all those stuff can help, do what works for you.
will be awesome if you guys will add more helpful suggestions in the comments.
TL;DR: Relaxation is Key to everything - be calm and relaxed and life will be awesome.