Red Pill TheoryComplete Guide To Going Out Alone (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by ErenYeager91

You can find the original version of this article here. It takes around 4 minutes to read it all.


TLDR: Stop wasting your time sitting at home just because your friends are too scared to go out tonight.




“We are never going to be ready for going out alone, that moment never comes. And for five years if we start going out alone, that first time is going to be hard. Whether it’s going to be hard now or for five years, it’s the same!”


Back then when I told my wingman this, I knew I was close and that I won’t wait for too long before I start to go out alone. So, one Saturday my wing says he can’t go out, that’s few times in a row he’s saying that to me, and I started to feel angry. Not on him, of course, but on the situation that I’m in. I called few more people, and they are all busy. “What a bunch of betas,” I thought. I’m putting down my cell phone realizing how miserable I really am. My progress is literally depending on others. How bad is that?


I was an idol for that one friend when it comes to women, and now I’m acting like a little bitch. I slammed my fist on the table, got showered, got dressed and run out. Since then, whenever I didn’t have someone to go out with, I went to the clubs for 30 minutes, do my thing and then went back to bed. Priceless.


Since I have been going out alone a lot this year, I decided to write here few tips for you guys. Let’s do it.


Why going out alone?


Going out by yourself is the fastest and the best way to grow our social skills. Period. Doing game without the wing after some time makes you very comfortable when you are with a girl, and that is necessary for your confidence.


You will learn a lot about yourself by going out alone, especially your fears and weaknesses.


Everyone who is good at the game had to go through solo nights, simply because it’s hard to find people that are committed to becoming better with girls. After some time I realized that going out alone is not an option but a need. Social freedom and confidence in having a good conversation with total strangers will get you laid. And those skills are improving by going out solo.


Of course, you have your friends, and you can go out with them when you want. But now you have a choice whenever some of them aren’t in “game mode.” When no one wants out, you can go by yourself to meet cute girls, instead of staying home eating your mommy’s cookies and poisoning your brain with porn.


This opens a whole new world of possibilities for you. That’s the beauty of going out alone. No one limits you. You can change location whenever you want, stay with a chick how much you need to close and basically do whatever you want. The point being is that you should go out and get through first few hard nights. After that, it will be easy. You would be able to go into an adventure whenever you want. This jump in your game is worth, and the prize is big.


Even when you want to travel around the world. There is no better thing than traveling around by yourself and getting laid along the way. A lot of people ask their friends to go with them to some country, and when friends reject them, they simply give up. They will never know what they have been missing.




Let’s be honest, most of us will after some time of regularly going out with your crew say something like this:


My friends are betas, and they are only slowing me and cockblocking me with their behavior. And that is true. Deep down you know that your friends are cool for fun, but when it comes to seducing girls, 90% of them suck.


The crucial thing in the game is the ability to walk in a club/bar alone and walk out with a girl, which is what we all want. Being dependent on a wing is a double-edged sword, it is similar to feeling cool just because you’re dressing good or when you are familiar with the venue. But that isn’t how you progress fast.


Want to build core confidence and progress fast? Go out all by yourself, have a “bad” night several times in a row if you need, but don’t give up, go out again and again. It’s hard first few times, but there is no other way. Once you get used to going out alone, nights with your friends becomes ten times easier. A piece of cake. It will be just like lying home in bed and listening to music.


The fewer people you go out with, the fewer worries you have. You don’t have to worry if some of your friends will come to the girls, say something stupid that will drive them away and you don’t have to babysit them and watch for their feelings.


Actually, you don’t need anyone. Once you get success in solo nights, you will crash all the limits you thought you have.


Starts going out in big clubs, where you won’t stand too much, avoid small bars at first. Most people would never do that, you already have my respect if you go out alone, no matter what level you are. You have the courage to do what most of the guys never will.




You should feel already successful if you come to the club. Change your attitude from “Me vs. the night” to “Me & the night” and accept full responsibility for everything that’s going on. Be focused on the things around you.


Our brain is wired in a way that is stopping us from going to unknown places without the support. But we are no longer living in caves like 3000 years ago, we live in modern society, and no alpha is going to come and kill us. We should teach our brain to be freer, and take action. Start thinking that everyone in the club is your friend. Be social.




Ever wanted to go to boot camp? Going out solo is a solution for you, it’s the answer on how to build positive experience in a short period of time, not the boot camp. And you don’t have to pay to anyone. You will learn to have more trust in yourself and understand that you are your own leader, without depending on someone else.


Going out solo is a key game changer, after some time you see so many things and beat so many fears. That feeling “I am enough” is just priceless. You quickly become confident, and your game is becoming better. Much faster than going out in groups. When you look back after one month of going out alone, all those questions and problem you have had with women and confidence will disappear, and look funny to you.   You will learn:  

  1. To be social with everyone
  2. Getting into large groups easy.
  3. Take action without second thought.
  4. Treat everyone around you as friends.
  5. Trust yourself.
  6. Stay with girls longer than you expected.
  7. Strengthen your “I don’t give a fuck” mindset.
  8. Become relaxed in clubs/bars.


Don’t worry if you suck first two times. You will be surprised what you are capable of doing when you put yourself on that kind of pressure.


Don’t forget to always congratulate yourself on going out. If you go out, you already won. Relax and enjoy.




Some guys are afraid of this question, and that’s stupid!


When you are out and talking with someone, no one is going to think you are alone. You don’t need to explain to others why you are alone. Say what you want, it doesn’t matter. For example:


-My friends are gone, they are tired. It’s so good in here.


-I’m alone like Pinocchio.


-I’m alone in this world.


-No, I’m with you, crazy.


-My friends are late.


-I’m with them (and you show some random guys)


-I’m an arsehole, I don’t have friends.


But most of the time people will think that you are with the girl you talk. Even better.




This is your ticket to the bigger league. I know you want to play in the first division.


If you pay the prize by getting the courage to go out alone, the universe will recognize and reward that. There is no fail, only results that you can learn from.


Everyone that is really good at this had some period of time when he went out alone. Become one of them, don’t depend on others.


So, what do you want to do? Have a great night or sit home? Your choice.


Good times are waiting for you.

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[–]PleezSitOnMyFace 129 points130 points  (23 children)

"My friends are weak and didn't wanna go out" Honestly going out by yourself takes balls, especially if you're having fun, and a lot of people will respect that in my experience.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 106 points107 points  (2 children)

You're also "going out alone" when you're grocery shopping, or picking up the dry cleaning, or getting a coffee at the local cafe. There's no reason to think of the club or bar as being someplace special.

Run game everywhere.

[–]bemore_ 28 points29 points  (1 child)

We also go to the toilet alone. I'm kidding. Going to a social place alone is very different than grocery shopping. There is truth in what you say though.

The only thing that I learned can help guys going out alone is the same mindset as when grocery shopping - having a goal

Before you walk into the shop, you know you're gettng the milk. Before you order your coffee, you know how you like it. What it really comes down to is proactive thinking, knowing what want to do next.

You can start the night by having a goal to introduce yourself to 3 people, ask how their day/night is going, tell them how yours is and then bounce. You can compiment 5 women, then ask them of they're single. The list is endless. The more creative your focus, the more fun you'll have and this is my secret to going out alone

Wherever you're at you can work up to a point where you're very relaxed going out alone and this is the foundation of having a good time.

You also don't have to stres yourself, the more you are in a place, the more comfortable you will be so don't even have to be social the first or second time. Similarly to how it takes a moment to become familiar with where you get your groceries. The first time you went there you probably used a lot more energy to do what you wanted vs your 10th time

Sorry for hijacking your point

[–]thoughtlow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great add-on

[–]Ansec 46 points47 points  (13 children)

I go out alone all the time. My friend's thought it was weird at first. My favorite is to find dive bars in the city and talk to the regulars. I've not only met women but business partners too.

[–]LiftMeditateApproach 0 points1 point  (9 children)

ok i can understand people who go to clubs alone... but to bars? thats just stupid, man.

every bar that i been to is like a mini restaurant... people go in groups, sit the table away from others, eat, drink and talk to themselves...

if you start walking from table to table trying to pick someone up it will be noticed by everyone inside. its not as crowded as the club and the place is well lit.

you wont be able to hide the fact you are all alone, which will trigger weirdo alert from people.

[–]H42 10 points11 points  (3 children)

A Real Bar has a long counter with stools to sit upon in front of the bartender. The people sitting there are usually open for conversation with strangers, just like it is at a sushi bar.

[–]LiftMeditateApproach 1 point2 points  (2 children)

yea... you will be speaking to a buch of old alcoholics who came there all alone as well... mission to get laid achieved

[–]H42 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not always. I guess it depends on location and culture.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're knocking a great way to do things without even trying. Your fear is showing. I go out by myself all the time. I've made multiple friends doing it, and I get laid pretty often. It sounds like you're very shy and closed off to new ideas.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't go to this type of bar. The logistics of places like that are tough whether you are in a group or alone. Look for places with an "open" feel to them, where people move freely and often. Avoid places that have stale groups.

[–]Ansec 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Live in a big city like Chicago, New York, LA, or Minneapolis and you can find bars that aren't restaurants.

[–]LiftMeditateApproach 0 points1 point  (2 children)

and then what? try to pick up a chick while she sits right next to a barman and 10 other men at the counter?

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Go read the sidebar. Get out and approach. Your negativity isn't going to help you anywhere in your life. Or you can sit here and complain and be content with sleeping with like 5 total girls in your lifetime or whatever the fuck the average chump sleeps with.

[–]trpppp123 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you drink when you go out alone? I'm generally not a big fan of clubs unless I'm tipsy/drunk.

[–]Ansec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll have a glass of bourbon or whiskey.

[–]pm_me_your_pk 16 points17 points  (4 children)

I used to force myself to go out, even when I didn't feel like getting ass (which is like never for a twenty something). I'm glad I did, over time it conditioned me not only to approach women in any environment without fear, but to not feel fear in any social situation.

[–]trpppp123 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Curious. If you go out to a bar alone, do you just order a drink and sit around for approach opportunities or what? And in a club, just dancing alone until you can approach I'm guessing?

[–]pm_me_your_pk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Watch David Deangelo's "Meeting women in bars and clubs", he provides a nice summary of everything I learned through trial and error.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a good question. I usually order a drink and strike up a conversation with either the bartender or whoever is sitting next to me. Strike up a convo with the person sitting on the other side and introduce them to each other. One or both of them will probably be in a group. Join both groups and branch out from there.

It also helps to speak loudly. People will eavesdrop on your conversation. If you say something funny you will sometimes get a random laugh from someone near you. Pull them into the convo...BONUS if its a hot chick.

Sometimes I'll challenge someone to a game of pool, I like to play teams because it makes you come into contact with more people at the same time. You can recruit random people to play with you also.

[–]Ihatemoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember a couple of times I went alone to a dance club. I danced with a lot of girls, met some people and hit it up with them. It was awesome actually. People respect this shit.

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway 50 points51 points  (7 children)

Yep this is great advice. I travelled through 27 countries backpacking alone as practice. But I was literally never actually alone because everyone was my friend. Got laid in almost every country and got to stay at women’s places for free most of the time by just asking for a place to stay.

If people would have asked me why I’m alone (they didn’t) I would have just told them I’m traveling the fucking world mate, this shit is absolutely awesome. What am I gonna do just sit around and not experience this world?

[–]unn4med 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Dude, love this story. Care to elaborate on your success with women on the trip? The lays and women allowing a stranger to stay at their house. This is really inspiring

[–]excaliboor 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Get inspired, but don't believe everything you read on the internet.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it didn't happen. I've traveled a ton in the same manner as this guy. Not only do I have similar experiences, I saw others have the same experiences as well.

[–]HellSpeed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am currently planning my fourth solo trip of over 3 months. Have been laid in and laid girls from tons of different countries. I do what I want when I want. I'm a lone wolf and it shows in my character.

[–]trpppp123 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I did this as well, and I think my dynamic was different because being in a hostel allowed me to make friends very easily and I could just go out at night with them. While I got laid occasionally, by no means was I a slayer and never got to stay at a woman's place.

Edit: That's not true, I did get to stay for a week at a girl's place in Europe. Surprised I forgot because she was the kinkiest woman I've ever been with.

But damn, I really miss those days. That year of travel was probably my best year. Have stories for days because of it.

[–]RenaissanceMan79 49 points50 points  (14 children)

I've got more same night lays going out alone than I have out with friends. Honestly, I think most guys use their friends as a crutch or their friends fuck it up or just complicate the logistics. As for the "where are your friends" question, which doesn't get asked as often as you'd think, I usually just lie:

if it's early: "they like to be fashionably late"

if it's a place with multiple areas: "oh they're out on the patio" / dancefloor / upstairs / bar / whatever

later in the night: "they left early, but I'm having too much fun"

This one time I used the running late line, I was sitting at the bar and genuinely supposed to meet this girl who ended up no showing. This hottie a few seats over starts chatting me up, and by the end of the night I'm taking her back to my hotel room and it was some of the best sex I've had. So yes, go out solo, you never know what could happen!

[–]Snazzy_Serval 14 points15 points  (5 children)

How do you start conversations when you're alone?

[–]Desertcoyote99 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Meta-commentary usually gets me in the door. Be observant of your surroundings and vocalize your conclusions. Once the ice breaker is out of the way you're free to ask the basic getting to know you questions.

Or you can use pick-up lines, if you're cocky enough to get away with the delivery. Honestly they play great if you play them off as a bad joke, which most of them are anyway.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whenever I use a pick up line I tell it with the tone of not being serious. It usually gets a laugh. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I'm da_rectumwrecker.

[–]KillaJewels 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I'll show a girl something cool or funny that I saw on Reddit/IG (start with statement of empathy). Cold-reading is a good one too.

Otherwise, if I'm not in-state or I'm in my head or don't know what to say, I'll just be honest with how I feel or that I'm in my head. Being genuine is huge (and is value in of itself), and girls love it. Just make sure you change the subject and offer more value if you go that route.

[–]rappingwhiteguys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly it doesn't matter that much you just have to get talking. One that I got laid off of recently is "hey is there a band playing later? I just paid 10 bucks to get in and it doesn't seem like it." I NEVER use pickup lines or anything cuz I just talk to everyone basically the same. It's just a matter of being brave enough to talk to someone.

Also! For me it's really easy to spot people who are alone or aren't talking to someone or a little out of place, then just get chatting to them. Really doesn't matter about what because they are dying to talk to someone.

[–]pm_me_your_pk 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Tell them the truth: "I don't like most people"

[–]markinsinz7 4 points5 points  (4 children)

What do you do when the logistics are tough. Like I had this girl total down but her friend who was quite pretty didn't have a guy rather unfortunately and no I couldn't pull 3 some.

[–]RenaissanceMan79 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You don't hit a homerun on every swing. If her friend is being a jealous cockblock, just get the number and hit her up the next day.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Introduce the other chick to some random other dude. Viola, you have a new wingman. This guy will think the world of you because you just introduced him to a hot chick. You can probably even bring both girls with you into the guy's group and now you're the king of both!

[–]markinsinz7 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So full of life at mid 30s damn it really must be that good for guys at that age. I suppose we essentially become default Chads

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is easier to be older. If you're fit and have your social skills together then you won't be seen as a creepy old dude but instead as the natural alpha in the room. People will sort of defer to you and it makes things easier for sure.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I straight up tell people that I go out alone to meet more people. Whenever I go out in a group I tend to just talk to my group. It forces me to meet new people. I get a lot of respect for that actually.

[–]RenaissanceMan79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same, it's easy to fall into that trap.

Going out in a group = bringing your comfort zone with you.

[–]Tripletag 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I'm very enamoured by the idea of going out alone, because it seems like something I should be comfortable doing, congruent with my personality. Matter of fact, I am actually quite comfortable in going out to dinner alone or going to a bar during the day and just hang out with myself for a bit. But clubs? I have no idea how to have fun there, because my idea of fun was long defined by drugs and alcohol. I'm currently on a 6 months cleanse for the first time in my life, and its really hard for me to imagine having fun without them.

How do you find joy in talking to people when you feel beforehand that you or they have nothing of importance to say?

[–]bemore_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your bar is sky high, very few people have anything meaningful to say in a social context. As long as you're into it, everyone else will be too

[–]jlebron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People like to talk about themselves, so make the conversation about them. Try to avoid yes/no questions, maintain good eye contact and good body language. Also, you have don't owe anyone anything so if the conversation is stale just end it and go talk to someone else.

If you feel you don't have anything important to say then keep working on yourself. You can talk about interesting hobbies, travel plans, funny stories, etc. If you're gaming, content doesn't really matter. Use push/pull, tease, etc.

I HIGHLY recommend reading up on NLP to improve conversation. Check out "the essential guide to NLP" by Tom Hoobyar.

[–]rappingwhiteguys 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just go alone to some swing dance classes then hit the actual social dance. Or blues or salsa etc. Really really social fun active vibe without an alcohol emphasis. One in Austin has 300-400 people weekly. The dance literally is just you being physical with a girl alone for like 3-5 minutes and she agrees to do this with you. Bit of a learning curve but my dancer friend has gone home with a guy who was at his first class. I will say you cannot actively run "game" at these things when you are new to the scene, like you can't just hit on every girl you'll get a shitty reputation, but you can totally naturally meet girls and then when you're already clicking flirt. Also blues dancing is the hottest thing I've ever done with my clothes on, but is SUPER niche. I'm not a huge fan of swing, the structure of the dance is too rigid for me I prefer something for improvisational like blues, but I've done it because among white people it's the most popular dance worldwide.

Other options would be like a bar that a band is playing at if your city has a good music scene, or I guess fucking meetups idk meetups are such a weird thing imo.

[–]rappingwhiteguys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As for the joy in talking to people - just be curious and self amused. Like find out about them, talk about stuff you're interested in. Man I was just talking to a girl who trains falcons for a living how cool is that? We were talking for like an hour before that even came up just about whatever. Nothing you say is really that important but talking and meeting people is 80% of the joy in life. Idk if you have a problem with finding joy in conversation you've gotta examine yourself and figure out why, then make some adjustments ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is suited to exploring the world alone it makes it so much cooler (I am very much into exploring alone as well and do not always feel compelled to talk to people but when I do its a great time).

[–]Nighthawk_Black_ 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I used to go out on my own a lot I would head out to local bars and listen to whatever band would be playing its pretty easy to start up a conversation with someone while sitting at the bar.

[–]Snazzy_Serval 14 points15 points  (27 children)

I'm going out tonight to a meetup.com event at a bar. It's pretty much expected that most people will be there by themselves.

How can I make sure that I have fun tonight?

It would be great if I could bring a girl back to my place but I don't expect it to happen, but I would like to be social and talk to lots of women. I'm just not really sure what to talk about and how to approach them.

[–]askmrcia 14 points15 points  (23 children)

I freaking hate meetup.com groups.

Usually when I went to bar events with them, after introducing and some small talk I'm off to joining another group there.

Most meetup.com groups are filled with old divorced people desperate to make friends. And the older guys waste no time scarring off the women.

Good luck but that's been my experience with the meetups.

Just go and get acquainted with the group and plan from there. But I definitely say don't be afraid to branch out and talk with others at the bar.

[–]Snazzy_Serval 1 point2 points  (19 children)

It's supposed to be a 20's - 30's group though I'm sure there will be older people.

Frankly I'm not that much of a social person at all and definitely not the type to mingle with strangers which is why I joined the group. I really can't imaging leaving behind the meetup people.

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (18 children)

Yea the 20s and 30s groups are usually filled with late 30s people. I did those meetups in two different cities and got the same experience.

You can stay with your group with you want. Just giving you a heads up on what you can expect.

[–]Snazzy_Serval 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Thanks for the post.

I was just looking for some encouragement or advice on how make the most of the situation. Many women from the group signed up and I at leas thing they'd be more open to talking to people from the group. Also should I bother getting to know any of the guys there?

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Yea talk to everyone. Most guys make the mistake of going balls to the wall by going after the women first.

Don't do that. Just let the convo come naturally and mingle with everyone. After a few drinks you will be fine

[–]Snazzy_Serval 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Oh my fucking God!

So I met my goal of taking to a few women. Then I met a woman I felt I had a great connection with. We were taking for almost an hour. Then she tells me that she's engaged!!

Holy fucking shit! I found a way to politely excuse myself and now I'm in an Uber back home. 9 pm and the njgjt was completely ruined.

[–]RenaissanceMan79 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Why let that ruin your night. She probably has hot single friends.

Not every interaction has to end in hooking up.

[–]Snazzy_Serval 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't see any point in getting to know a woman on the off chance that she has single friends. I've had many female friends and I never met any of their friends.

And yes of course not every interaction has to end in hooking up, but I would love it if it happened to me at least one time in my life.

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea that happens all the time. I honestly wouldn't let that ruin my night. But honestly she was wrong in talking to you for an hour knowing you were interested.

But it is what it is

[–]ExploringNewExp 0 points1 point  (11 children)

Hey, something on your answers got me a bit worried. Not about meetup.com, but rather on those 30s groups, and how you describe late 30s as desperate men who may have it much more difficult in order to meet people in general, and girls in particular.

I'm not there yet, but in 6-7 years I'll be a late 30s too, and I'm worried about it being much more difficult than being on my early 30s... Is it something inherently wrong with turning 40? I know 6 years are a lot of years, but they are passing pretty quickly now, believe be.

I won't lie, I'm a bit worried about getting older as I'm not especially experienced -yet-, but I don't want to freak out while approaching my late 30s... The thing is, I need to make a change in my life, and I need to do it now, but I'll leave that for another post.

As for talking with others in the bar, outside a group, I find it pretty difficult and uncomfortable, not gonna lie, I've rarely achieved this, but my nightlife has been sparse so far.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Stay in shape and you will be slaying well into your 40's. My dad slayed until his mid 50's. He definitely fell off hard then though. I'm more of a monster than he ever was though! I'm looking forward to growing older. I'm going to be the same as I am now.

[–]ExploringNewExp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Trying to stay in shape and reading more will be two of the things I want to start doing next year. I'm not fat, but definitely I should lose like 6-7 pounds to be on my best shape. Anyway, regardless of staying fit, feeling active is good in many senses, and exercise could be beneficial for my state of mind as well.

Thanks for your positive input, although I don't want to keep losing time and definitely want to start as soon as posible to change dramatically my life (it is a bit screwed up), because it is always better to go out there on my 30s rather than keep waiting.

I appreciate your point, I need that perspective to not feel I'm running out of time and feel desperate to achieve all my goals on the first 6 months, because people will perceive my desperation, but on the other hand, I wish I had started at my 31 (when my only relationship, just 6 months long, broke up with me), because I had a great opportunity, and I didn't have the balls to ask her -a nice, funny, smart, good looking, not arrogant 25 year old PhD student girl that seemingly was interested on me- to hang out and date her and such. Now she is gone from the campus, I'm a bit older, and my chances go down each year it passes.

Regret is a bitch.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read the sidebar man. There isnt just "one girl" for you. Dont sweat it. There are plenty of them! As long as you can get to the top 20% of men, you will have your pick. You can get there with hard work and dedication. It takes some guys longer than others, but almost anyone can do it.

[–]askmrcia -5 points-4 points  (7 children)

I hear you. Well I unfortunately don't have an answer for you. And I'm not going to give you some bs motivational talk.

All I can say is you have no idea what's going to happen in the next few years. You may meet someone or you may not.

You're in the right thinking about needing to make a change.

As for talking with others in the bar, outside a group, I find it pretty difficult and uncomfortable, not gonna lie, I've rarely achieved this, but my nightlife has been sparse so far.

It takes practice and alot of trial and error. It's honestly no different from approaching people at a networking event except you have to have a topic to talk about.

Is it something inherently wrong with turning 40?

Yea you're old as fuck. And I don't care what anyone on this sub thinks or what anyone tells you. 40 years old is old. You're not an old man but you're old. You should have your life situated at that point. If you're old and single and never married, you will have people questioning you. Especially if you don't have no kids.

Now to be fair that may change because I can see alot of current young adults getting closer to that lifestyle.

[–]Compeliminator 1 point2 points  (5 children)

first of all 40 is in no way old. as long as you stay in shape and have your shit together you will do much better with women than when you were 30. mens smv peaks from 40 to 50

[–]punkrockfishboy 0 points1 point  (4 children)

This is true. My dad was 40 and successfully wifed up a woman at 23 meeting her at a bar(my mom), but that was back in 1982. You want to know something about me? I'm 31, and the best lay I had was with a lame ass 3 at 28. My 20s are now over. Nothing I can do about it. I honestly coped with it by banging a few HB8 escorts. Any person that is successful with women will tell you "Failure is the key to success". I haven't failed enough. My biggest worry has always been having the cops called on me on a false harassment allegation, (but I have also been learning to minimize chances of that happening). Nowadays, I can talk naturally to a girl. I practiced some day game. Maybe once I will try a nightclub, even though I hate it because of loud music. Point being, stop caring about how old you are, especially if you're not in you're 20s. Always focus on bettering yourself. Make yourself more attractive, (this will reduce chances of anything bad happening to you by women), every interaction with a woman is constant screening from just merely meeting them to potentially a relationship(necessary to avoid false rape allegations, etc.)

[–]ExploringNewExp 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I think we are on a similar situation, although I haven't started walking my path yet, I'm waiting a few months until I finally move out to live on my own to start reading more, building my self-esteem, and starting to work out to lose those 6-7 pounds I should lose. Yes, I'll try to start a new life.

Problem is, my age is there on my ID Card, even though people won't guess it. So my question to you, and to other people here is: Do you lie about you real age? Do you say "nah, I'm 29" (just 3 to 5 years less) or "nah, I'm on my 30s" without specifying how old are you? Because from time to time, people will ask you. Girls ask your age. Should I feel bad lying about it when I -both physically and psychologically- feel my true age is on my late 20s rather than my early 30s?

[–]punkrockfishboy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

With girls asking about my age, I ask them: How old do you think I am?, or tell them to guess. I could joke about my age. 30 isn't too bad of an age. Some people are in their 40s and still look like they are in their late 20s. If a girl rejects you just because of your age, it's always her loss. Just move on and chat up the next woman.

[–]ExploringNewExp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ouch. Thanks for your honesty. The thing is, I'm one of those guys who look younger for my age, who grew up with some delayed development (at 20s I was still like a teenager, and so on...), and I feel younger, but when I look at my ID card, there's my age. We could say I have a younger mindset. And I always feel like I'm getting late to everything on this life.

I need to start to live my life, and put things on their place. Sorry, I'm not native speaker, maybe some expressions will sound weird.

When I wrote my question, I knew I probably wasn't going to get an easy answer. But anyway, I'll post on AskTRP some more questions I have in order to get my life in order before it is too late. Man, I feel like I'm fighting against the clock.

Anyways having kids is not on my schedule, I don't think about that right now honestly. But anyways, a lot of things have to change on my life, and I'm afraid I won't be able to achieve it shortly... I'm afraid it will take time.

Again, thanks for your answer, cheers.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meetup events were pretty good a few years ago, but lately you called it. Few women to begin with and the ones who are decent looking end up being chased off by desperate dudes that are social retards.

I still host events through them now and then, but I don't really do it as a means of meeting women. Instead I do it as a way of building social proof/status for women I meet pivoting away from the meetup groups themselves bouncing back and forth between them building up preselection.

[–]trpppp123 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yea, I only went to 2 meetups and both were just filled with "loser" type people. I mean they're trying, good for them, but I just felt I'd be downgrading. I mean, the logic is there too. Why would a cool guy or girl be at a meetup when if they're cool, they'd likely already be part of a social circle.

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly this and this is why they fail in my opinion. Because it comes across as desperation and not Natural.

[–]11-Eleven-11 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why dont you just go to any other club or bar?

[–]Snazzy_Serval 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Honestly I'm not used to going to bars by myself and starting conversations with random people. The benefit to a meetup group is that people (mainly women) are more open to having random people talk to them. I'm going to go to a few of these to get comfortable then I'll start going to bars and stuff.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will never "get comfortable". You have to just go out and do it. The longer you make excuses and let that hamster run, the longer you will wait to go out and do it.

[–]zeekt12 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Fuck it, going to try going out solo tn. Bored at home, why nott

[–]grewapair 14 points15 points  (7 children)

An important, and maybe THE most important lesson in my journey was to sit next to an alpha male when both of us were out alone by outrselves. Not a wing man about my SMV level, but a true 9-10/10.

There, you'll learn about how women act around guys who they don't consider beneath them. Even 10/10 women beg them to come home and sleep with them, immediately. LMR? No such thing. Passivity? Not evident - only aggressiveness. Wining and dining? Not needed.

This is how I learned how a woman acts when she's into you and not just using you until something better comes along because you showed her a lot of interest, which basically did nothing other than to inform her what a sucker you'd be, and so she could use you while providing literally nothing for you but occasional duty sex to keep you entertaining her endlessly, while the years slipped away and you had nothing to show for it. You'll understand why so many men kill themselves. You'll understand why 50% of marriages end in divorce, too.

All from sitting next to an alpha male for about an hour. I'd strongly recommend it the next time you're out by yourself. It was probably the most educational hour of my life.

[–]helterskelter1988 5 points6 points  (1 child)

LMR? No such thing. Passivity? Not evident - only aggressiveness. Wining and dining? Not needed.

So many men don't get this. If they're interested, they'll make it easy for you. That's why there's no such thing as "persistence" in game.

As you said, they're just bearing your ass until someone better comes along, and if that doesn't happen, they'll give you sex every once in a while to keep you hooked.

That's why I don't even waste time with chicks who don't respond properly to my moves. One flake or low effort response, they're out.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's why there's no such thing as "persistence" in game.

Yup. However, people seem to conflate "persistence" with "time under tension", aka familiarity. Two completely different things. I'm reminded of the old pickup trick to create a time displacement by moving to multiple venues in a short period of time. It makes them feel like they've known you a lot longer because you're building memories together in rapid fashion. It crushes right through whatever hangups a lot of women have.

Yes women who want a guy will make it easy for them, but women who are on the fence or not initially interested can be flipped by you becoming FAMILIAR to them (if doing cold & warm approach). The guy who goes to a party and collects a bunch of numbers and goes home alone will pretty much always lose out to the guy who approaches a group and stays with them for the rest of the night and bounces with them.

It seems like a "duh" thing to say, but people don't get it... You have to stay with them if you want to pull. Boggles the mind how often guys dip out to go "open more sets" when they should be building up that familiarity I mentioned. If they're not leaving you, telling you to leave, and are accepting of your presence, it's game on. All you have to do is build up the comfort and escalate. Worse case you flub it and wind up making new friends to go out with in the future. (going out with women is far superior to going out with other guys on the prowl)

Keep in mind I'm only talking about the initial cold approach. Long-term relationships with the duty sex stringing a guy along until something better becomes available is a whole other story.

[–]urbanfoh 0 points1 point  (4 children)

While I agree that is enlightening, what can you personally draw from that? I mean is there some thing you can learn from that, that improves your behavior?

While it may be interesting to see how high value girls act around alphas, it might be irrelevant if you are not in that category.

[–]grewapair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it's completely relevant, because until you see it directed towards you, you're wasting your time.

What's that? It's never directed towards you? See last 4 words, above.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 0 points1 point  (2 children)

There is definitely a lot of information to be gleaned from watching that alpha. OP is very observant. Watch how he acts and emulate it. Notice how comfortable he seems. He doesn't chase. He will probably have more girls walk up to him than you will, but notice that he doesn't act like he needs them when interacting with them. He knows that more will come up to him. He has abundance.

[–]urbanfoh 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I feel like there is some kind of logical fallacy. If a girl is heavily attracted to me I tend to show typical alpha behauvior. I.e. not giving a fuck and so on. But that does not logically mean that showing alpha behavior makes a girl attracted to me.

I think the causality is the other way around: Attractiveness ---> IDGAF

Not giving a fuck when she is not interested just leads to mutual ignoring (which might be still optimal)

However I tend to agree with op that it is useful to notice when a girl is really interested in you and when not.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What came first, the chicken or the egg? There is no answer to it, just a correlation. I can guarantee that acting like that alpha will ensure that you get the girl that is interested in you. It might not make a girl get attracted to you, but you can be sure that your behavior wont be the thing that makes her not attracted to you.

[–]wiffofass 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I don't do night game solely because I don't drink alcohol at all. I can imagine going to bars and clubs alone completely sober wont be the most fun experience. Who knows though.

[–]bemore_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you do it more than 3 times at the same venue, you will be more and more comfortable. I remember going to the club alone for the first time and being very uncomfortable, very stiff. All I could do was sit down and speak to one or two people next to me. Now it's my home.

The first time is the hardest and potentially suckiest. The more proactive you are in the place, the more relaxed and comfortable you will be

So your goal should really just be to be there and do what you can

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just order soda waters and sip on those. Still tip the bartender for it though.

[–]MisterDSTP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most louhges in NYC that are worth sarging solo ch3srge you for soda smh

[–]Compeliminator 4 points5 points  (1 child)

ive been going out by myself for years. getting people together to do anything is usually a pain in the ass and the older you get the harder it is. people have thier own lives and are usually busy. especially after they start having families etc. if i want to do something i dont think twice. i just go.

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep. Some friends of mine think it's weird if I run into them on a night out and I'm alone, or I mention that I went out by myself one night.

The thing is, there are many nights I would rather go out alone and maybe have a good time, get laid (it has happened), than stay at home and do nothing.

[–]MurkyArtichoke 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Good post on a topic i think should be further discussed. At the moment i'm sitting at home contemplating if i'm gonna go out or not. Last year i moved to the city centre, i literally have a bar across the street from my apartment, and because of that i have been going out a lot more, and often alone. Often, i might sit at home playing video games or something and drinking beer and maybe a whiskey. I listen to some music and get in the mood. Most often my friends are not willing to go out (most of my close friends are in serious relationships). I have grown kinda used to the feeling of going out alone, and honestly it isn't too bad. The biggest obstacle was, for me, dealing with the whole "alone" thing, thinking that people looked at me like i was some kind of weird loner. You need to realise most people are pretty drunk and couldn't give a shit about who you are and what you're doing. This obstacle is followed by the "alone in the bar" feeling. I have several times ordered a beer and just sat at the bar. I kept thinking that a guy sitting in a bar alone with a drink is kinda "mysterious" and that in movies it's kinda typical. Maybe in the US (i'm european) it's more acceptable to sit at the bar alone talking to the bartender, but here it's just a bit weird after a while.

The key is to socialize in some way. I've had some nights where i go out, and i don't bump into someone i know, and i just end up standing at the bar looking at people and just being weird. Instead you should try to talk to people, even guys, to just make it seem like you know people. Also, about the "why are you alone" question, i almost always say "i was with a friend but he just left" or something like that. No one wants to admit they go out alone.

But honestly, i used to be so scared to go out alone, but i've grown used to it, and i have scored a few girls this way. Several times a girl came over to the bar and talked to me and i managed to f-close some of them. It's better than spending your time at home playing video games all night. Even if you're not getting any, it's interesting af to observe the nightlife.

[–]MedicineCel 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What kind of small talk to you make? That's my biggest problem, just opening it up

[–]MurkyArtichoke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends, for example, if you are in line and there's a queue i can often just start talking a bit to someone in the same situation as me, just commenting how it takes forever to get a drink. Just try to find a topic. There was this football tournament in my town this weekend, so i asked this dude if he was at it, and we started discussing football (soccer). There's nothing wrong in not talking to people too, but it's definitely wise to do it occasionally.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I was teaching a friend how to open up strangers, I wanted to show him how meaningless your opener was. I walked up to a couple of girls and said "blah blah, blah blah blah". They looked at me weird and I said "I'm teaching my friend over there that the first thing you say to someone doesn't matter and no one remembers it. Hi I'm da_rectumwrecker".

Just say whatever comes to your mind. I never know what is about to come out of my mouth when I walk up to someone. Sometimes its nothing but a facial expression. Recently I was sitting with my wingman at a bar and noticed that I was getting the eye from a cutie in a group at the end of the bar. As my wingman and I were leaving, her group was moving towards us. I simply changed direction to stand in their way and made a facial expression similar to someone seeing an old friend. She then replied with the same facial expression and we hugged. She was in a bachelorette party and all the other girls swarmed me! One of them started unbuttoning my shirt and two others started rubbing my chest hair. One of the girls had the vibrating thing that restaurants give you while you wait for a table. It was vibrating and she put it on my crotch. I reached over to the girl that was giving me the eye earlier and pulled her in and kissed her. Then I said that my uber was here and it was nice meeting them. I just left as my wingman exclaimed "I'll never get used to hanging out with you". The logistics with that group weren't going to work out and I knew it. But it was a bar we frequented and the staff that saw it definitely cracked up laughing about it the next time we stopped in.

[–]Compeliminator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why is it a big deal to admit youre alone? who gives a rats ass what anyone thinks. if anyone asks why im alone and i feel like trying to be funny i usually say im here with all my buddies meaning im by myself and therefore i have no friends. that or i just say people piss me off ,like you for instance

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tell people that you're out alone so you can meet more people. Whenever I go out in a group I tend to just talk to my group. When I go out alone I have no choice but to make new friends!

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My biggest tip for going out alone is to talk to everyone around you. Talk to people regardless of their worth to you. You know when you're doing it right when you can walk through the place and get people to nod to you or wave as your pass. Once you get enough people to "know" you, you take over the room and everyone will be more open to your approach. You get bonus points if you introduce people to other people. Merge groups together and you will be considered the leader of both.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 1 point2 points  (1 child)

cool theory bro. where do you go out if you don't like drinking?

[–]ZachMeadows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is it that the first weekend I decide to go out alone complaining that none of my friends are able to go with me, you write this piece ?

I've done it in the past when I was more reckless and it always was awesome. I think I allowed myself to drift, or to depend on others too much. It's time to get back in the game.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder and the few advices, it is valuable and everyone can learn something from it.

[–]Tie5o11 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Definitely a good post. Ive gone out alone a few dozen times in the last half decade or so (early 30's, moved cross country, also traveled a bit alone). I've gotten laid doing this, and had nights where I just chugged a few drinks to myself and didn't talk to anyone- and everything in between.

Most of my best solo nights I would start at a lower key spot, post up at the bar, and chat up the bartenders, people in my vicinity, etc. Once I become more socially free, its a lot easier (for me), to bounce to different and more dance bar / club type venues. The times I went cold into a dance bar / club spots, generally I was too stiff to really ever open up, especially if its a spot where you cant sit down and post up at the bar or what not. Then I find myself just leaning against the wall and in my own head.

MY biggest sticking point to going out alone is drinking too much. At times I use 'going to the bar to order a drink' as a crutch. And even when I have a fairly social solo-night out, I still am in conversation less than I would be if I was out with friends the whole night- leading to more gaps when the rate of sipping increases. I seem to drink more and faster when I'm out alone versus with friends. Any others have this same issue? Any ways you've addressed it?

[–]MisterDSTP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I've had this issue too. It's not even that i WANT more alcohol. It's more like a nervous tick.

One trick i learned is to carry a flask and just order mixer from the bar. This way i dont go over my limits and i save money and if i feel like another drink ill just order beer.

Another thing i decided to do is order water in between drinks. This way i always have something in my hand but im not getting shit faced. And honestly im getting older the water helps with hangover prevention.

Otherwise you get used to it. If you rally become mindful youll realize you are just drinking to soothe your anxiety. So when you have thst urge just approach someone, guy or girl. Or really focus on a song thats playing and dance to yourself.

The urge to buy more drinks when by yourself is just the urge to make your loneliness go away. Because when im feeling 100% confident, usually when im sober i dont need anything in my hand.

So bet with yourself.

1) go talk up that girl who isnt the hottest but has been sorta checking you out or that dude about the ball game thats on OR 2) go spend $10 on a drink you dont need. Thats probably gonna cost you that SNL because youll be sloppyily oversharing.

[–]SKRedPill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Use tripadvisor or google maps and check out different types of places in an around you. All of a sudden you'll realize how big the world is. A motorcycle or a bicycle is your best friend, with the car for longer trips.

I know a guy who at one time drove up and down the whole country putting 40000 miles on his vehicles in a year.

Ok that's extreme, but how much have we really explored our own town?

[–]RebbitGolb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hero Irv recently died last week. He drove over 3 million miles in his one owner Volvo just meeting people and seeing things. He died with his Volvo in China.

[–]National_Capitalist 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What would be a good alternative to a bar or club since I'm 18 and not old enough to go to one?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of social activities do you like to do? Are you cold approaching women day and night?

[–]toothottotrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this dilemma last night. I was actually looking for an article on here like this, funny how that works out. I wanted to go to this bar last night, but my friends and bro were either out of town, working, or busy with their girlfriends. I knew the right thing to do was to go out with the intent to have fun and not specifically try to pick up chicks, and enjoy a few drinks at least. Nope, pussied out because I didn't want anyone to think I was weird, a creep, a loser, or awkward. Thanks for reposting this. I'll be sure to put on my balls next time I want to go out, and enjoy the night and embrace any failure as a learning experience and a necessary step for growth.

[–]lush312 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How would you go about talking to people at a bar if everyone is within a group? It just feels a bit contrived to just but t in and introduce yourself to everyone.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make friends with the different groups and join them for a while. When one starts to go stale, bounce to a different one and then come back. Better yet, introduce the groups and get them mingling. THEN you can pull the girl you're interested away for 1 on 1 time.

[–]DoneScannedIt 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Old fart. I go clubbing, solo, at least once a week.

Go to have a blast and bring it home with you.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

50s? 60s? Define "old fart".

[–]DoneScannedIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

50 < n < 60. Heavy, but fit. salt & pepper on the sides, but mostly open real estate.

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did this when I was like 23/24, back when I was in the clubbing phase. None of my friends wanted to go out to Hoboken with me, so I said fuck it, and went to a bar alone. I just went to a bar and said “ I lost my friends, can I hang with you for a while?”. Ended up grinding with a phat booty Latina but all in all was a very fun night and lots of self growth. I should probably start doing this again since my friends are all busy af nowadays.

[–]miz_corpo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loved all of this. I’ve consistently had more fun going out alone than with friends (and i’ve had way better luck pulling without them). I’ve always feared the “why are you alone” question so i really liked your responses, but i’ve never even been asked this, so there’s really nothing to worry about. Get out there and make shit happen, whether your friends join or not!

[–]spencer9812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quality post. I've been going out solo for a few years now and I enjoy it. You feel free and you only have to worry about getting yourself home, not all your drunk friends too.

Spending time with yourself is the best way to get to know yourself better too.

[–]mashiss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take note! I love going out alone there is a catch, if you're going to party. Control the alcohol, I have some nights that I don't hook up with any girls but I have a blast of a party.

[–]Idontgetitboyz 0 points1 point  (3 children)

When I started going out alone, I ended up at the girl's place in the same night. When I went out with my beta friends I got kiss closes max, and the girls I approached were lower quality. Idk when I go alone I approach more boldly. I definitely enjoy going solo more now and I highly recommend it !

[–]MisterDSTP 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I agree with this. That subconscious pull you get from your beta friends is real.

My hardest thing to deal with now when out alone is my own subconscious pull.

Like when the clock strikes and you realize theres only and hour left and you realized youve been mismanaging your time and potential lays.

By biggest obstacle is ignoring the imagined judgement when i decide thst I'm not going home empty handed and lock in on a ~7 ~6.

Even if they are throwing it at me. I get super in my head. And i think it had to do with the fact that I would likely never even entertain them if i was out with my beta boys.

Because theyd rather go 3 months with no action than get some sloppy head from a basic bitch.

[–]Idontgetitboyz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just do the approach when you are stuck . I literally start with "What's your name ?" and if they answer a rare name I look surprised a bit excited telling then "Oh wow, you are the 2nd <name> I know " (like a neg). Then you try to transition in a fun way to a real convo and start seeing if YOU like her. You can open with anything really, as long as you hold frame, have fun and remember you are the prize. If it's a fail, even a big one, you can just try again, cause no beta friend, who thinks he knows it all already, will condemn you, and sure as hell other people did not really notice or care in a club

[–]MisterDSTP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. But i dont mean i get stuck like i dont know what to say. I get stuck like i dont know what to do.

For example. If im out by my self i will be dancing with myself, with random girls. I might go around and have a small chat with a group of people here and there. And just using the "everyone is my friend" energy i might say something random to a group of girls and then the HB6 will be super open and make it very clear shes DTF so long as i just follow through.

And im just like "shit i didn't sign up for this. I still want that HB8 and i deserve better... and i know my chances with HB8 go way down if she sees me with HB6"

Idk maybe its my own insecurities. But as I'm typing it out i lm realizing that i just have to be more honest with myself and set more intentions and boundaries for myself on nights like this.

Because the truth is when i go out for solo i usually go for the thrill of a SNL. chances are hella slim that I'd follow up with a girl I took home the same night so her being a HB6 or HB8 isn't AS important as I'm making it out to be.

And it sucks because there have been times ive rejected the HB6 just to get rejected by the HB8 i was plotting on and went home empty handed. So i think i need to just folllow these guidlines below

Ie- 1) scout the place and determine my targets. 2) aim high hut also set limits for how low im willing to go with a girl in terms of looks. 3) determine a limit on how drunk ill get/how many drinks i buy 4) set a time limit of having someone secured to go home with. 5) dont break the rules.

I think that will help to eliminate the anxiety.

[–] points points

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[–]KillaJewels 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Nice post dude. This resonates with me a lot, as I go out alone pretty often. When I was completing the 30-day challenge (going out every single night), I had to force myself to go out mostly on my own. I found more success on my own than I did with my friends (wings). Unless you have an awesome wing who understands the mechanics of game or is just naturally gifted and shares good chemistry with you, the wing will likely just weigh you down.

I find that it gives me a huge advantage actually to go out alone. I choose where I want to go, who I want to talk to and ultimately gain more passive attraction. The confidence boost is phenomenal.

As for the excuses - as someone else here said, it takes balls, and people do respect it. I've had times where I even get shit-tested for it, which I pass every time because I'm cool with it. Excellent opportunity to gain attraction.

[–]MisterDSTP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey bro! I was actually looking for the 30 day challenge. Looking to slowly build myself up towards confidently approaching anything and everything by the time the weather gets nice.

Can you link me to the challenge or anything similar?

[–]The_Lightskin_Wonder 0 points1 point  (3 children)

So I have gone out alone several times, but I have some questions that always come up when I'm out.

First off, what do I say when she and her friends are asking why I'm out alone.

I usually say because it's fun, or that I'm not afraid to go out on my own.

When I'm idle and I don't want to dance or chat to strangers, is it better to look at my phone or sit down and watch everyone?

[–]ErenYeager91[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Like I said in the post, you guys are all afraid of that question "why are you alone". Honestly, you can say whatever you want. You can say "I am Pinocchio, that's why". Or you can say that your friend is late for some important reason. Whatever you want. The point is to not be afraid what others think.

As far as the second question goes, looking at the phone gets you all inside the head. Avoid that. Stay in the moment, watch what others do. Eventually, you will feel good and then start approaching as soon as you can. "I don't want to chat to strangers" is a bad position to be in, so maybe you should start approaching as soon as you get into a club, it will help your game very much.

[–]The_Lightskin_Wonder 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well I think your angle of attack is slightly off, my nights alone are not spent in fear. My approach at night is good, but sometimes being alone seems to work against my favor. I'm actually not afraid of the question as I'm proud of my confidence in doing so, but some women find it weird and think it's suspicious. I just laugh it off and question the need for friends all time.

After making 1or 2 approaches I usually like to lay low so that either women can't approach me and look for better potential. Usually I find other people to talk up but sometimes I need a minute to absorb the environment. If your saying just observe then I'll keep that in mind.

But usually I don't rush approaches because within an hour I've talked to enough women that it starts to look bad.

I do have another question, how do initiate the process of taking her home. Friends seem to always cockblock

[–]ErenYeager91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it really depends on the situation. But whatever reason you can come out with is fine. First, you need to isolate her from the friends. It can be "let's go downstairs to buy you another tequila" or "Let's go outside to smoke a cigarette". Whatever works, but have in mind that you need to isolate her from friends first, before you get her home.

[–]edargham -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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[–]edargham -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is Sidebar worthy material. I was looking for something like that for a while. Thx.