Red Pill TheoryClosure Is Bullshit (archive.is)

submitted by Modredpillschool

[–]modAutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]coin_pwr 189 points190 points  (7 children)

If she wants to break up, walk away, don't look back, and keep your head up. Any woman that truly wants you, will not make things difficult. Life's too short to want to be with someone that's unsure about you.

[–]baeslick 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Thank you for this, this is exactly what I needed to see right now, my ex ghosted me when she moved to NYC and has since been trying to contact me to "see how I'm doing", this wisdom is keeping my head straight and my heart focused on my mission and my goals in life, that person will be there when I'm ready

[–]xavine 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Whatever you do, don't agree to be her emotional tampon while she's getting pumped and dumped in NYC

[–]krimpenrik 12 points13 points  (0 children)

F*ck really needed this realisation right now with a girl i am chasing.

[–]Razkolol 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Precisely, if she’s putting up too many obstacles in your way you should take the hint, « chase a check, never chase a bitch » Future, mask off, 2017 xD

[–]Boovs4life 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"Fuck these bitches they gon' always be around young nigga just get your money." - Young Dolph

[–]ColdbloodedEdward 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this comment should be stickied

[–]Endorsed ContributorRunawayGrain 214 points215 points  (23 children)

Closure is usually just her trying to find a way to pin the failure of the relationship on you.

[–]tempolaca 82 points83 points  (9 children)

Also because if the failure is your fault, she's free to fuck anyone of your social circle without any remorse or being called a slut.

[–]AudioAssassyn 32 points33 points  (7 children)

You ran her right into his arms, because you're such an asshole.

"Relationships" are over when her social circles no longer care about hers. Once the social media likes go away she's ready for the next guy that will get all her friends chirping again. Let it go. It is what it is.

[–]tempolaca 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Could you rephrase that? looks interesting but kind of confusing.

[–]AudioAssassyn 28 points29 points  (5 children)

When she no longer feels like her social circles envy her or her relationship, she's ready to move on to the next thing that will get the spotlight back on her.

[–]tempolaca 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Ah I see. Yes, that was exactly what happened to me. She still loved me, but her friends hated me for being all RP and stuff. It was just a matter of time until we break up.

Now her friends all love her new ultra-blue-pilled boyfriend.

[–]AudioAssassyn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Once they get bored with him, she will too. Name of the game these days. She raved about you to her friends about how you were different and you were the one. Just like she did with the guy before you that you came in and "rescued" her from. Just like she'll do with the new guy. And just like she'll do with the one after him.

[–]dancingmaitake 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Out of curiosity, call it a hypothetical mind experiment, what if I told you what you think isn't true?

From this pov, why do you think she ended the relationship? Did she ever explicitly give a reason why?

[–]tempolaca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes she told me a lot of bullshit reasons, like I threted her badly, that she didn't saw a future with me, etc.

Thing is, up until a month before she was madly in love, writing love letters and shit. My SMV decreased a lot in the latest 6 months probably because a lawsuit a former gf filed against me.

[–]rosbergsessa420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man I needed to read something like this a few years ago in my first LTR. It's so scary, how everything they do is for social validation. EVERYTHING!

[–]recon_johnny 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The failure is always your fault.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace 33 points34 points  (8 children)

I saw my best friends GF do this to him after she cheated on him, and he proceeded to break up with her.

Her - “I only kissed him, so what, you’re willing throw 2 years down the drain over that?”

Somehow, her cheating on my friend became his fault.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Solipsism: "I don't feel it was wrong for me to cheat on my boyfriend and throw away 2 years of relationship, cause feelz over realz, therefore I'm right and you're wrong.".

[–]DigitalDragonSlayer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol. Painfully common & true.

[–]1ozaku7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You truly expect that she would give up so easily? She will use everything in her arsenal and so should you. That's how humans are wired.

[–]MarcosDomingues 4 points5 points  (0 children)

SHE was the one willing to throw 2 years down the drain, not him lol

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which is what OP is referring to. Don't have the ending conversation with her. Closer, like weddings, is entirely for her. For her to move on. As a man you get next to nothing out of the deal. Ghost. Block her on your phone and your social media. Game over. Move on.

[–]p3n1x 1 point2 points  (2 children)

But, it was his fault.

He did do something to become weak to her. Instead seeing the signs and cutting loose earlier on, he stayed and allowed himself to get burned. Lack of abundance and outcome dependent.

Stop being "shocked" that the game isn't simple.

[–]rosbergsessa420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This deserves a dedicated sidebar.

People here get shocked about this whole thing being no more than a jungle, a tribe, but with skyscrapers and cell phones. Thats some game for ya. You want to fuck women then you have to do what all males have do in nature to fuck females. To the natural alpha this is effortless. To the rest of us it's work to be done, or you know, just stay home playing fortnite.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with you.

He’s a major beta and I truly cannot blame her for being a woman and doing woman things.

I’m not saying I like the female nature but it is what it is. He had many opportunities to walk, or even stand up for himself during the relationship. He didn’t.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]2Overkillengine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I question if that's such a great idea anymore.

It never was, some people were just getting off on acting like women by ignoring potential consequences. Suspend one social contract and the others tumble down eventually as well- like the ones where men don't kill competitors as a way to mate guard. Kind of hard to AMOG a load of buckshot to the face.

[–]thewrecker8 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is the whole truth right here.

[–]2Overkillengine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And remember that she has done nothing to deserve making that easier to do.

The only thing she deserves is silence.

[–]yeahiamhere 81 points82 points  (3 children)

I haven’t contacted my ex since since 3 months. But I was getting weak my brain was rationalising that it was not wrong to contact her. May be she was missing me too and she will come back. This post woke me up again, as I was going again into my beta mode. Thank you.

[–]Vaerr 23 points24 points  (1 child)

It's far too easy to slip back into chasing a girl who wants nothing to do with you. Contacting her will only serve to make you weaker. 99% of the time you'll learn she wasn't missing you, and now you've broken down the wall of 3 months no contact. Which makes it harder for you to go no contact with other women in the future and let's her have the satisfaction of knowing you're unable to move on after 3 months. Stay strong, move forward.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It’s a very hard portion of the pill to swallow but one of the most essential. To realize that after you break up, she’s not looking out her window thinking of you, she’s not up at night in her bed missing you, she’s not sitting around listening to songs that remind her of you. That’s all in your head. It’s your projection.

She’s off sucking cocks, love bombing a new guy just like she did to you. Not giving a single thought towards your existence.

[–]1ozaku7 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Too obsessed about the alpha beta dynamic instead of becoming a man a woman desires.

[–]DeontologicalSanders 70 points71 points  (2 children)

Reading this makes me cringe at myself.

There have been many times in my life where a woman contacted me after a break-up for "closure", and I responded with anger, or sadness, or explanation, or trying to win her back.

She's only ever there for herself. To deflect the blame for the break-up and failure of the relationship off of herself, and onto you. She doesn't give a shit about you anymore; if she did, she would still be fucking you.

The only good response is no response. Anything else validates her. Anything else shows that you're still invested.

Walk the fuck away.

[–]_lifesgood_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, did the same thing. It’s amazing how much girls victimized themselves and make up stories to fit the narrative the media/society can give them. Not saying all girls are like this but it’s unbearabley frustrating to deal with a girl who wants to be treated like a princess in the movies. Waste of time.

[–]Z3roCool007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck man i did too, broke up with my ex a month and a bit ago, decided to text her a week after and nothing came of it, then she text me wanting to help because she knew i was having major issues with other things and wanted to help, then she flipped the whole thing and made herself the victim when i got pissed, luckily i kept my composure and only showed that i was slightly pissed and ended the convorsation with her angrily telling me to choke on shit, I just told her that i hope she has a nice life, afterwards i removed myself completely from contact with her, She's text me twice since and i've given short answers or none at all, havent talked in weeks so hopefully its over.

[–]MrCongeniality1 34 points35 points  (1 child)

You can fail in a lot of ways and end up in a miserable LTR, but a woman won't actually leave you if she thinks you will immediately forget about her. Feeling replaceable is an existential crises for them. Always project that you are totally fine with ending any relationship that is no longer working for either person for whatever reason.

[–]1ozaku7 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Note that it isn't about "I can get any pussy out there" but rather that you don't accept any bad behaviour or treatment, because you would rather be alone. This is the key because it isn't about something you will have to reach after the break up, it is something you reach the very moment you broke up.

[–]vullnet123 26 points27 points  (14 children)

My ex broke up with me because she "rushed into a relationship and wants to be alone" AKA " I want go go out with other guys without worrying about you". I tried asking a bit when she texted and dumped me, but there was no point because I could tell she was just giving me BS answers.

[–]2virusofthemind 13 points14 points  (13 children)

Dumping by text is pretty low behaviour. If it was an LTR your best response is "Is it because I told your friend you were getting too fat?" and then hard next.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 37 points38 points  (7 children)

Sounds too butthurt.

My (previous-there’s a new girl in that slot now) OLTR2 broke up with me via email, so I hit reply and wrote: ”Clearly you sent this to me by mistake.”

A few minutes later I got a text back from her best friend who I also knew. It read along the lines of how ballsy a response that was plus ”She is sooooo pissed at you right now. And the fact that I’m sitting next to her laughing my ass off is probably not helping!”

Wherever she is and whatever she’s doing I hope she’s OK but beyond that I don’t need to know.

[–]H42 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The response is awesome.

You are telling her, "That text was for your other boyfriend, the one you are breaking up with. You accidentally sent it to me."

Since she probably doesn't have another BF yet, she is being hoisted by her own petard.


[–]DeontologicalSanders 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Maybe I'm missing something here, but can someone explain this response to me like I'm 5? I honestly don't get how this is ballsy.

[–]DiscipleBrown 4 points5 points  (3 children)

She probably wanted him to give her some sort of validation, like trying to win her over or being upset. That response made a joke of her breaking up with him and demonstrated Class B DGAF behavior.

[–]DeontologicalSanders 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Idk it seems to me that most women would think a guy saying "clearly you sent this to me by mistake" was being genuinely incredulous, like he couldn't believe it was happening. Especially over email with no tone or vocal inflection. The best response is none at all. The second best is "ok". I don't get at all how this would have the desired effect.

[–]1dongpal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that was my thought as well. "this must be a mistake, you would never break up with me...I need you"

[–]BusterVadge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't take it that way at all. By turning the whole thing into a joke he took IDGAF to another level and made it look like he thought her breaking up with him funny in a way.

[–]vullnet123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I didn't really say anything too butthurt to her.

[–]vullnet123 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Yea its crazy, she legit didnt care at all basically. Like our entire relationship didnt happen. She is non-confrontational and most of our arguments were through text because she would rarely want to do them in person.

[–]ZephyrBluu 11 points12 points  (1 child)

All women are non-confrontational. They hate arguing and they also suck dick at it.

[–]vullnet123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instead of talking about sex in person she wanted me to text her about it. When I would ask anything about it she wouldn't answer unless I texted her.

[–]1ozaku7 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Weren't you a bit blind maybe? Usually you can see when a girl doesn't give a shit about her man. It's just that weak men just hamster it away and look the other way to not see the ugly truth.

[–]vullnet123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah I saw it, just was in denial

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove 51 points52 points  (27 children)

I think many of us are guilty, even post taking the red pill, myself included, of trying to negotiate and reason and argue with a girl after she breaks it off with you.

Here is the thing. When a girl decides to break it off with you, there is a 99.9% chance that she has made up her mind for good and nothing will change her mind. She has already desexualized you and moved on. She is no longer attracted. No force in the world will get her back with you. You can go lift, gain 50 pounds of pure muscle and look like a greek god giga chad and she still won't see you "that way". Period.

The problem is, most of you faggots who read this will think you are apart of that 0.1% in which she does change her mind because you are stricken with oneitis. You aren't going to listen to me and you won't accept the fact you have a better chance of winning the lottery. But if you do want to reason with her, argue with her, negotiate with her, try to win her back after she breaks it off, give it at least 72 hours until you say ANYTHING to her. Once she tells you its over in some form or fashion, go silent. At the very most, say "OK" and act like you have moved on as well. Then, after 72 hours have passed, and you want to go for that slim chance of being able to reason your way back in, go ahead, but just realize you have astronomical odds.

The 72 hour rule isn't so much in that it will raise your odds, its that when a girl breaks it off with you, she wants to see you melt down. She wants to see you be emotionally affected and disraught. That way she gets her closure, seeing you act a total fool, and then she can tell herself "See? I made the right choice. Look at this pathetic weak whiny bitch".

By going dead silent after she breaks it off, she doesn't get that closure and satisfaction. It will drive her nuts. By going silent it makes you look like you gave no fucks and put no value on her. This will drive her mad and I guarantee she will try to keep reaching out to you to get that closure. That's why silence is the best weapon here, not negotiating and reasoning. If you do choose to engage with her if she reaches back out to you after you go silent on her, be very stoic. Act like you aren't affected at all and she poses no value for you. Then you have leverage.

Again I repeat - the 72 hour rule IS NOT A POWER PLAY TO TRY AND WIN HER BACK. Its there to not give her the satisfaction of closure.

[–]reluctantly_red 6 points7 points  (1 child)

there is a 99.9% chance that she has made up her mind for good and nothing will change her mind.

In the short and medium term this is very true. In the long run a significant percentage try to come back. I'm 54 years old and a couple of months ago my high school GF contacted me to try to get back together telling me she'd made a mistake breaking up with me way back in 1981. I agreed we had some good times and then just brushed her off (the fact she hasn't aged well made this easy).

[–]funnybrunny 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do agree with what you're mostly saying. But, women tend to want what they think they can control/change or possibly what they believe have forgotten about them (an ex or w/ex).

So, when you do work out, live your life and grown physically and mentally.....some do come back because they're surprised that you made something of YOURSELF W/O THEIR HELP. But when that happens, you're just on a higher level where you no longer care for them and have better things to do with your life.

[–]red_philosopher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Learned this first hand this last week. I'll post about it soon. Can't upvote this enough.

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

will think you are apart of that 0.1% in which she does change her mind

Everyone wants to be the exception. By definition most of us are not. imo this is easy. If you start thinking you are the exception - despite the statistical improbability - then the fallback is "hope for the best, prepare for the worst".

[–]Fulp_Piction 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're in with a better chance of 'winning' her back by being stoic and moving on than you are by initiating contact.

[–]acb123LickMyD 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I disagree, and I feel like this gives false hope to guys. The only way this has a change of working is if she is dumping you for cheating on her.

In any other case it's best to move on without looking back.

[–]rosbergsessa420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they shouldn't even be pointing the 72h thing out. It's useless for the most part. The real focus should go to dealing with the "just got dumped" situation where it becomes harder to obtain new pussy if people in your circle know you got dumped and now are single against your will. I don't know why anyone would even want to focus on getting the crashed Ford Fiesta back when they could just work on getting a new Mercedes.

[–]SensualSeduction01 -1 points0 points  (17 children)

You can go lift, gain 50 pounds of pure muscle and look like a greek god giga chad and she still won't see you "that way". Period.

What makes you say that? What proof you got?

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove 8 points9 points  (16 children)

That's how women work. Once they disqualify you sexually they will never see you in a sexual manner ever again.

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (14 children)

And what about the women you decide to get back with the ex?

Maybe they see him with a hot new girlfriend.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Why the woman and not the man, in terms of finding a better option?

[–]rosbergsessa420 1 point2 points  (9 children)

Because women only trade up while branch swinging - this means once that she finished trading up, she never fucks lower quality men again (example, the ex she dumped), not in a joyful way at least. Men on the other hand, once we get to bang a 9, we still go for a 8 or 7 from time to time for some variety, including dumped ex'es. Women do not understand that concept. They switch exclusively to the highest they can get.

basic animal biology - the female has the function of selecting ONLY the best males, the male might have preferences but not requirements. sidebar material afaik

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (7 children)

See, by that logic, if the ex moves up in the smp, then his ex would wanna get back with him. Which makes sense.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]p3n1x 3 points4 points  (0 children)

less attractive to a woman than a man they dumped.

Insecure and less mature women "fake dump" all the time. Trying to gain control and power.

she is too busy fucking hotter dudes. They never even care to look back.

They look back all the fucking time. What you choose to do with it is a whole different story.

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I mean the only evidence for my claim is the shit I read on reddit here and the stuff I see happen to some of my friends. It's really difficult to make an informed, empirical argument on this.

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They switch exclusively to the highest they can get.

This is missing so much, and is very linear. First, the "new guy" does not mean he is an upgrade.

A woman will lie to themselves when going through an Alpha divorce.

Yes, they do fuck lower, they fool themselves. "Give a guy a chance". Unless that new guy actually out does what you had to offer, she will rubberband back over and over and over.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk how u stand behind these words with such conviction with basically 0 proof.

NOT SAYING to get ripped to get back to one’s ex, just pointing out your stance and how unempirical it sounds.

[–]1ozaku7 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That 99.9% Is because she suffered already for months from your sorry ass or the majority of the relationship.

Only jump ship if you are absolutely sure it's a sinking wreck.

[–]BacardiRazz1 40 points41 points  (8 children)

My oneitis hit me with the "i really like you.... just not THAT way yet" and bluepill me thought i still had a chance lol. Great reminder

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Keyword... "YET"

[–]BacardiRazz1 20 points21 points  (3 children)

I kept telling myself "she said 'yet' bro, dont give up yet" and it fucked with my head for a while

[–]Vaerr 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yeah "yet" basically means she doesn't want you for what you provide on the surface, but doesn't know enough to completely drop you. "Maybe he has a rich grandpa who's money he'll inherit." She's looking for some redeeming qualities before making her decision.

[–]BacardiRazz1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My best bet is hardnexting this chick but i cant rly control my emotions sometimes.. it sucks

[–]red_philosopher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's soft next, work on yourself, and improve. No need to worry.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yet...until she hits the wall.

[–]ECoast_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the 'yet' there is because she likes the idea of him still trying for and/or orbiting. She deliberately wrote that to fuck with his head.

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well that sounds like cancer.

[–]ReefaShark 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Great succinct post. Feed ‘em scraps.

[–]kril89 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Don't feed them anything at all. Let them stew over the fact you might be fucking all these bitches including all of her friends.

[–]Monsieur_Valjean 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Nay. Let them starve.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 14 points15 points  (1 child)

"Closure" in a therapy context is usually the therapist trying to make 1-2 more paying appointments past the point the patient feels they have "gone sane" and don't need the therapist any more.

In a relationship context, it's usually a manifestation of seller's remorse. They initiated a breakup, or misbehaved badly enough to earn being broken up with. Now they want to stir the pot as it goes cold. As above, they're trying to collect more value from you in their own interest, not yours. Don't do it! Nothing good comes from these discussions.

Be decisive about moving on with your own life. Be clear but concise about why the relationship is ending, then let her go work through her own "closure."

All of this is presuming you didn't ghost the person unprovoked. In that case, it can mess with a person, woman more so than man, and it legitimately does leave the person hanging and in need of emotional closure. Have the balls to break up decisively, that's all the closure work you "owe" someone you're breaking up with.

[–]Fulp_Piction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True - if there isn't a straightforward answer to "whats in it for me?" then you usually shouldn't do it.

[–]funnybrunny 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is gold. In the times I've wanted closure, it never helped me. Just made me belittle myself.

You gotta break the mold and remember that YOU are always the prize, fellas. Remember that. No matter how cliché that may seem.

[–]MR3790 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I pulled this shit thought i needed to say goodbye in person. It was dumb better of just letting them walk.

[–]bcool87 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep, a painful lesson I learned when I first fell hard in college. Hit her up for a month periodically til she finally agreed to meet me at the cafe for closure. Her friend was nearby too, as an out. Meanwhile, the wknd she broke up with me she was already out partying and grinding on new dudes. I was devastated by how quickly she just moved on. I'm so far removed from that guy now, but I'll never forget the lesson I learned. There are guys my age and older who still haven't internalized this. Closure is when you say it is. Doesn't mean it won't hurt depending on the level of investment/length of relationship, but turn around and chose to move forward. Asking "why" is fruitless. Use your own analytical skills to learn from it and apply it next time. That's how you truly learn anyway.

[–]Aboves 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very spot on piece. I’m guilty of this shit first hand and the way he laid out how shell give a bullshit reason was literally copy and pasted of how she responded towards me. I’m so glad I have the tools needed to respond to scenarios like this in the future, because I made myself a grade A jackass by being a “oh what if i fixed this” and “where did i go wrong” brown nosing little bitch.

[–]PurpleSweetz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Will use this when my relationship inevitable comes to its end. She's not mine, it's just my turn.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 10 points11 points  (8 children)

Women want to see you cry and beg to win her back, so she can finally see what a beta faggot you really are to justify her decision of dumping you. Don't give her that satisfaction and she will come back in no time

Story time: met this girl in Feb, we banged a few times and we had great connection and in May she suddenly ghosted me; saw 2 of my texts but didn't reply. I was hurt but didn't send more text her way, I just grieved on my own time and move onto other girls. Suddenly she texted me out of the blue in July wanting to meet. Have been banging her until last month. Point is if you go silent and don't let her win, you will always have the upper hand.

[–]1dongpal 2 points3 points  (7 children)

how could you seriously meet up with her again after she did that to you? total disrespect from her side

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 8 points9 points  (6 children)

There are 2 different camps of thought on TRP:

1) if she's just a plate/FWB, she's free to come and go as long as she isn't causing drama, cause women are fickle.

2) plate/FWB/LTR, if she shows any disrespect she's gone, hard next, no question asked.

I'm more in camp 1, as in as long as the sex is there and I enjoy her company, I'll let her come back. Of course now LTR is out of the question, or she has to work extra hard for it.

[–]1dongpal 0 points1 point  (5 children)

you know shes gonna emotional manipulate you? you just missed the most important camp of thought .

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (4 children)

you know shes gonna emotional manipulate you?

Not if you know it. Just don't buy what she is selling, let her have her temper tantrums on her own time.

[–]1dongpal 0 points1 point  (3 children)

there is no way you can keep your emotions in check by knowing your ex-LTR sleeps with other guys and you just fuck her.

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I guess its perspective, I have an LTR misstress.

I guess some guys around here attach "in love" to LTR? Why do you only have one girl in the first place? Where is that outcome strength and abundance? I'm not sure how you can put all men in one basket with the emotional weaknesses.

You think fuck buddies only fuck one person? Any woman can be downgraded, but she may never rise again.

[–]1dongpal 1 point2 points  (1 child)

fuck buddies are fine, but if one of them is one of your ex-LTR, i doubt you can do it because the more time you spend with her the more likely you invested in her emotionally. this would be real mind fuck for me.

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, that is the other side. I didn't think about how strong the emotional bank account could be.

Having other women in your life definitely makes the transition or loss much easier.

[–]nicksnice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is great material, solid reminders like this are why im still subbed here. every now and then you need a reality check.

[–]astrogatorjones 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was in a relationship for 6 years. Started out full beta and got maybe a bit better in the first 5 years. Found TRP and started changing. She can’t handle being around a secure person and breaks up.

The thing is when she broke up I was ready. I was reading the books and fully commited to becoming a better person, so the only thing I asked her was “are you sure this is what you want?”. She said yes and I absolutely didn’t look back.

Now is three months later and she still sends me whatsapp messages at 2am about how much she misses me. But my life has improved so much it doesn’t even bother me anymore, plus I’ve got two girls I can certainly have sex with any day I feel like it.

The ex called me and texted so many time being super nice and friendly trying to convince me to meet her to talk trough thing. Every damn time after I politely didn’t agree she showed her true colors and attacked me in some way. What is more likely: she wants to have an actual civilized talk to end things well or she is trying to somehow convince herself that I suck and she didn’t loose out? Fuck this shit.

[–]Enthusiast_new 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoa. I know that feeling,that power flip. Can't help show my evil grin. Haha

[–]U-94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things are much better if you're 100% disinterested. My ex drunk texted me for about 8 months before she finally moved on. Never cared. Never replied other than unemotional replies, as flat as possible. What really helped is that I always not that into her. She was hot and would make a room of dudes jealous but I wasn't sick-to-your-stomach into her as I was with past women. Which put me at a disadvantage. I realized just find a girl who is hot that's into you and just 'put up with that' for a period of time.

You know that scene in Robo Cop where he saves the woman from getting raped and she hysterically tries to hug him afterwards? That was me after breaking up.

[–]Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Ok, theres a box near my door, throw my hoodie in there"

[–]dickens910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a plate who I was starting to become more serious with, edging in on LTR. I was on an assignment that had me out of town during the weekdays for a couple of months. We still saw each other every weekend and talked during the week quite a bit. I started noticing a decline in response time and availability. I thought to myself, shes probably seeing someone else.

Sure enough two weeks after me thinking that we mutually break up. I do the short and curt ok, I wish you best bye. She said some bullshit along the lines of, "Sorry I wish the timing and distance was right." Perfect, should have left it at that.

Here's where I fucked up. She initiated this conversation while I was drunk, watching football. When she tried to blame it on timing and distance, I lost it. I called bullshit and said I'm pretty sure you're seeing another guy and this has nothing to do with time and distance. She confirmed this, but still tried to make it about other non issues. Things got a little heated. I shouldn't have even tried to correct her, knowing it wouldn't work, no matter the logic.

I wish I had just stopped after that first, "ok bye" text. Luckily when she asked to meet up for closure, I told her it wasn't necessary and wouldn't change anything.

[–]MadChestHairYuKnight 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I have a serious question.

I fucked up in a relationship around four months ago with a girl I really liked, it was a good relationship.

It was my mistake.I have realised that now, I didn't previously.

Should I talk to her and tell her that I was the one who fucked up, or not?

[–]UnfriendlySoloutions 18 points19 points  (1 child)

No just move on, life is.too short for that.

[–]RhineLime 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I'm getting error 1106 on the site, is it just me or is there something wrong with my DNS settings

[–]bimusiek 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You need to connect through USA (use some VPN) then it works. I had the same issue and VPN helped.

[–]RhineLime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahh i see. i could do that on my com, but cant on mobile- company phone. need to find alternatives

[–]_be_happy_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Same here, looks like archive.is is down?