This will be a short post. Not all posts needs to be chock full of theories, analogies, or EC plugs
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Root of the Cause: Driven By Ego
When I just started out with daygame like we all do, we learn about turn away from our nice guy behavior and become something more productive towards our relationship goals: a man. But what our ego wants is to become the AssholeTM. For he is the man woman love to hate. I set out to become that to a degree. I made efforts to chew people out when I felt it, cut people down when they deserved it, and generally treat women like gum on my shoe. And it worked sort of.
But I pushed people away (surprise) and justified my arrogance as being a redpilled man in a world of bloopies. I had lays to show for it so I couldn't be wrong.
Four years or so later I am now in the gym. Getting a taste of the big leagues. I'm stronger than my peers but smaller than most guys in here. They are chads. And they are ... really fucking cool dudes. They can be surprisingly bluepill a lot but overall they're fun to be around especially when you want to learn something new or hit a subject they like to talk about. But guess what? They're assholes.
They tease me a lot when I'm giving my max weight my everything. When I want to talk to them they dismiss me. When they come talk to me I give them my time and it got under my skin that they behaved this way to me in return. Don't they see this?
No. You know why? Because being an asshole is not something you do on purpose. They're not here to network. They have other things to do. They coach teams, they work 2 jobs, they own another gym, etc. They're not thinking about it. Once I started flipping it back on them and being fun the way that they understand, they eventually came around (to a small degree). These guys are great and they're eager to share what they've learned. I've even reached out to one for an emergency I had.
Assholes Women Love vs Being a Dick
These same principles applies to girls. You're not an asshole on purpose. I've never been called an asshole for something I did on purpose. Women have called me an asshole because I was seeing other girls or I wouldn't give them more time beyond sex. They called me an asshole when they weren't getting what they wanted from me. Key word: want.
That's why women talk bad about assholes because they wanted something from them. They maybe loved them but nothing equivalent was ever returned and I guarantee you the guy 99% of the time didn't mean to be one. He set his rules, stuck to his principles, and dindn't feel the need to explain why. That doesn't make him a monster despite what mainstream media wants us to believe.
When you try to force being dominate, or go out of your way like I did, you're being a Dick. A dick is an asshole who goes out of his way to be one. He makes the first move. He pushes people away. No one likes a dick.
Plenty people love an asshole because being an asshole is a by-product of sticking to your guns. If you have to force it, you're not there.