Red Pill ExampleBeing an Asshole Women Love To Hate vs Being a Dick (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 2awalt_cupcake

This will be a short post. Not all posts needs to be chock full of theories, analogies, or EC plugs buy my preworkout at www dot

Root of the Cause: Driven By Ego

When I just started out with daygame like we all do, we learn about turn away from our nice guy behavior and become something more productive towards our relationship goals: a man. But what our ego wants is to become the AssholeTM. For he is the man woman love to hate. I set out to become that to a degree. I made efforts to chew people out when I felt it, cut people down when they deserved it, and generally treat women like gum on my shoe. And it worked sort of.

But I pushed people away (surprise) and justified my arrogance as being a redpilled man in a world of bloopies. I had lays to show for it so I couldn't be wrong.

Asshole Chads

Four years or so later I am now in the gym. Getting a taste of the big leagues. I'm stronger than my peers but smaller than most guys in here. They are chads. And they are ... really fucking cool dudes. They can be surprisingly bluepill a lot but overall they're fun to be around especially when you want to learn something new or hit a subject they like to talk about. But guess what? They're assholes.

They tease me a lot when I'm giving my max weight my everything. When I want to talk to them they dismiss me. When they come talk to me I give them my time and it got under my skin that they behaved this way to me in return. Don't they see this?

No. You know why? Because being an asshole is not something you do on purpose. They're not here to network. They have other things to do. They coach teams, they work 2 jobs, they own another gym, etc. They're not thinking about it. Once I started flipping it back on them and being fun the way that they understand, they eventually came around (to a small degree). These guys are great and they're eager to share what they've learned. I've even reached out to one for an emergency I had.

Assholes Women Love vs Being a Dick

These same principles applies to girls. You're not an asshole on purpose. I've never been called an asshole for something I did on purpose. Women have called me an asshole because I was seeing other girls or I wouldn't give them more time beyond sex. They called me an asshole when they weren't getting what they wanted from me. Key word: want.

That's why women talk bad about assholes because they wanted something from them. They maybe loved them but nothing equivalent was ever returned and I guarantee you the guy 99% of the time didn't mean to be one. He set his rules, stuck to his principles, and dindn't feel the need to explain why. That doesn't make him a monster despite what mainstream media wants us to believe.

When you try to force being dominate, or go out of your way like I did, you're being a Dick. A dick is an asshole who goes out of his way to be one. He makes the first move. He pushes people away. No one likes a dick.


Plenty people love an asshole because being an asshole is a by-product of sticking to your guns. If you have to force it, you're not there.

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[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten 157 points158 points  (13 children)

A big portion of the readership here, new and not new alike, has a revenge fantasy. They want to get back at the girl who laughed at them when they asked her out, they want payback on their cheating girlfriend, and they seethe with anger at their ex wife who took their money.

The motivation for many initially is that anger, and that can be positive. Being pissed off got a lot of readers in shape. However, that anger can also manifest itself as cold treatment of strange women. A plate whose face YOU laughed in when she begged you to commit. An LTR you snuck out on because sexual strategy was amoral. Much of this "asshole" behavior is completely anchored by women as your mental point of origin.

There is nothing wrong with being selfish. RP advocates it, actually. But as OP states, when the asshole behavior is not a front but instead anchored by yourself as the mental point of origin, it changes the nature of the actions themselves.

The guys out there really killing it are behaviorally congruent with their belief that they are the prize. Not the dudes lashing out from past pain.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 45 points46 points  (8 children)

But the past pain is what makes you better. I'm still wrestling with something that happened 3 years ago (fiance left while I lost a parent and the other was on the deathbed). There has been well over 100 girls in my bed since then but I do know that pain is still my motivation. Maybe that's why I've been so fixated on having so much sex. I dont think I'm running from what happened but I dont ever see a day when that wont hurt anymore.

I could either let that pain consume me or I could use it to improve myself to make everything else in my life more comfortable. Most of us dont have the luxury of not being in pain. If you're reading this though and think "this guy had it bad, my pain doesn't compare to his so I dont deserve to feel bad" you're completely wrong. That shit is all relative to what you've experienced prior. Your pain that I might call a minor inconvenience feels just as real as my profound loss. No need for a dick measuring contest on who has had it worst. Things are hard all the way around for most.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten 13 points14 points  (0 children)

OK - but that is my point. You're not trying to get revenge or prove a point to an ex. You're doing it for yourself.

[–]2awalt_cupcake[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I've had a fraction of women compared to you, but I notice I still think of The Ex That Started It AllTM. Which leads me to believe men can be alpha widow'd. The ones that shatter our fantasy.

I think it has a lot to do with regret. Marcus Aurelius (sidebar reading material) states that it's only natural for us to regret what was good for us. Anything else is not natural to regret and shouldn't be regretted.

In this case I think we look back wishing we knew what we knew then to have become a better man for a particular individual so that maybe we'd still be together, in an open relationship scenario, happy, accepting what she is. That's how I feel. I still look back fondly because not everything was bad.

And I could have totally milked it now lol.

[–]TRParchivist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Of course men can be alpha widowed. "The One Who Got Away" is a classic male tale, same as Unicorns, same as The Muse that all the classic tales of princesses and perfect women are based upon.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 2 points3 points  (1 child)

While I agree with what you said, i recently saw my ex in a pic and the last 3 years did not treat her well! She gained weight and is looking older, the wall is not going to be kind to her! As for the alpha widowed part, I definitely feel that way for a recent girl. I landed a 10 over the summer and she fucked my world all up. I'm back to normal now (finally), but that shit was rough. Back to slaying and my new mission.

[–]2awalt_cupcake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here my ex does not look good lol

Congrats on getting out of that head fuck. IMO that's not a sign she was a good fit for you despite her being a 10.

[–]Kenny_Twenty 2 points3 points  (2 children)

something that happened 3 years ago

I dont ever see a day when that wont hurt anymore

I'm honestly surprised that this...

There has been well over 100 girls in my bed since then

...has not helped you more or less forget about her. Maybe I'm naive in thinking that it would be that significant. Is it more of kinda just a sore thought by now or is it something that you consider to be more traumatic?

[–]kril89 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think maybe that he sees that no women is really that special or different. And that this one woman did this to him in a true moment of need. And if she did this then other women will walk out far more easily and it's a tough pill to swallow but it's one you have to swallow every day forever.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's a sore thought. And it's why I wont get close to anyone afterwards. When i needed someone the most is when the person closest to me left me all alone. I made it through that by myself. I dont want to be in a position to feel that vulnerable again, so I am who I am now. I dont hate it. My life is very enjoyable actually. I just know myself.

[–]kung_fu_cious 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Eh, I just enjoy pissing people off. It is very entertaining.

[–]X-Trem0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pain is just like jump starting a car. It might get the car to work but eventually you’ll need a new battery

[–]Casanova-Quinn 65 points66 points  (5 children)

I've said this before and I'll say it again.

Nice guys tend to label any guy who isn't "nice" as a jerk. The truth is most "jerks" are just normal guys who don't act like pussy whipped betas around women. They're not afraid to tease, disagree, or be direct with women. They're masculine men, that's it. It doesn't mean they act rudely in general to everyone in their life.

[–]politeAndLevelHed 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Except that a lot of "not nice" guys play the jerk TO OTHER GUYS. They break whole swathes of the bro code. They don't have respect for other people because they are focused on the female and their entirely selfish goal of score no matter what the collateral damage.

You pull that kind of person back into line and they'll argue "hey stop spoiling my fun! I'm just having fun!" while they are simultaneously leaving a wake like a tornado.

[–]mraxelrodi 1 point2 points  (3 children)

There is a deep problem with terminology in the redpill sphere. Guys are trying to jerk down other guys can be tottaly pussy whipped slaves and incels. They just think it works somehow for them. And there is no BroCode. Men are not better then women, you can't trust either of them. For example I see many times how guys who find LTR will leave their friends. Everything si very superficial in our world....

[–]KumonRoguing 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This idea that it should be every man for himself is why the male suicide rate is so high. I know the community is split on this topic, but you don't have to go around preaching trp to be a bro. Me and my male friends would tie our dicks into a lasso and strangle a bear with it for one another. Honestly, I'd do that for most dudes I know and feel are solid men. We should strive to be better than women, at each other's throats waiting for a weak spot to open. Men should help push one another to their max potential, and you'd see a lot of good come out of it.

[–]mraxelrodi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Im not definitely preaching it. It's just sad observation of the world. It's great if there is tight friendship between guys who is above pussy race.

[–]KumonRoguing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to leave that sentiment when I see the opportunity. With enough exposure maybe men will pick up on it.

[–]Ananonguy88 82 points83 points  (3 children)

You have rephrased 100% what I think. This mythical asshole they always love/hate is basically a guy who does not do what they tell him to do. A guy who holds his frame.

It's not the same as being rude, selfish dick and god forbid, trying to pose as one on purpose.

[–]Invisible_Hand49 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Indeed, in retrospect when I think about the time I was trp unaware but trying to game a now ex girlfriend, I was mostly the opposite of what the ideal man according to her was. I smoked, used to indulge myself in alcohol, had a past of dating a lot of women, yet she wanted that dick. Just goes to show women don't know what they want.

[–]Vikingcel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They know well what they want, tgey just ain't going to tell you.

[–]albino_red_head 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. Some of the best attraction I've built is when calling a girl out for being rude (trying to push me or other dudes around, "give me this, get me that") or treating a girl like a slut if she's acting like one with a married buddy (spank her ass etc). In both scenarios they flare up and will call you an asshole, dick, "you should show respect for a lady" etc. It's great time to hold frame and give back a "give me something to respect" line or just stand your ground. They'll say those things but watch her flip right back around and apologize (because she knows she was acting a fool, you called her out on it). I've had girls buys me drinks etc. It's all part of the shit test.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The asshole notion is concocted by snubbed woman and bitter betas, it's a power thing.

For an entitled women to be snubbed, the only possible explanation is that he must be an asshole. She calls him an asshole to try and reduce his market value for all other women, while boosting and preserving her own image.

Beta's are bitter that they worked so hard and were so nice but come up dry, yet the alpha just came in and fucked her with ease. They were nice so he must be an asshole. They call him an asshole to try and reduce his market value while boosting and preserving their own image.

When you're being served, the power is flowing to you, no one is an asshole. When you're doing the serving, the power is flowing away from you, and when you don't get reciprocated in the way you think you deserve, they're an asshole.

This is why being an asshole is poor strategy, you need to be in a position of power, who is able to pass judgment on those trying to serve them. Without the power you're just a beta behaving like an asshole.

[–]saucierlol 11 points12 points  (2 children)

See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because, pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes! And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

[–]shaggyctes88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Years later I still love this movie

[–]Hyperf0cus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is gold. I love that movie and especially this quote.

[–]1User-31f64a4e 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Plenty people love an asshole because being an asshole is a by-product of sticking to your guns. If you have to force it, you're not there.

Focusing on your self and your needs - being your own center of reference - is the way to be.

Insincerity - be that white knighting, mistreating people on purpose, pretending you are a big deal that you are not, whatever - usually gets sniffed out and then you are toast.

Also, the focus on yourself allows you room to be 'nice' if and when you wish. Your options are open. Deliberately being a dick has no freedom - you are trapped into acting a certain way.

[–]ArdAtak 69 points70 points  (3 children)

It's true. I've had many female friends speak ill of their exes but when I meet the guy he seems pretty normal. And then I figure out she only resents him because he did not comply with her dreams and demands.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Slightly different concept.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 24 points25 points  (0 children)

"if you have to force it,. you're not there".

Right on. And it won't work.

Women are also quite capable of telling false confidence from confidence. Confidence comes from a realistic appraisal of yourself and knowing what works and what doesn't for you. False appraisal of yourself leads to false confidence, followed by lack of success, followed by crises of confidence.

If you want to be confident, you need to be honest in your appraisal of yourself, and you need to be successful.

[–]uwey 4 points5 points  (1 child)

A simple concept I am about to reveal.

Do what I say, not as I do. Or strike with image to represent but act to aim to confuse.

Do what you must and what you please, but NEVER tell 100% what you think (it reveals your true intentions which may be detrimental) mind you no to bullshit because people hate obvious illusion.

Be creative and subtle, craft a perfect play, a master piece. If you are that good, whoever brought your lie will actually admire you.

Craft a grand illusion about yourself and you past. I know it sounds fake, but actually it isn’t. You don’t need a lot of money to show the attention grabbing presence.

-being muscular and bold. But had a specific quarks, it makes people curious.

-occasionally do things outside your box.

-corrects your own mistakes by force it into bolder direction, go in with audacity, not words, just do it fast and people really not that fast to judge. Bam it is done. Bitch can catch you say wrong word, never fast enough to catch your non political correct action. Do>y’all

-learn when and how to shut down/disengage/excuse yourself to avoid culprits, you are suppose to be extremely slick and slippery so no one can catch what is in your mind. You need to present a strange image that done so much that nothing really bothers you. Just show up in my experience to have a good time kind of people. People are not stupid, they know you have it. As long as you have actual experience, not online reading you will be fine.

[–]2awalt_cupcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

for anyone reading this, he's absolutely correct. These are all tenants from the 48 Laws of Power.

[–]ethansight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. Clear concise and kinda what I've been working around recently

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 6 points7 points  (1 child)

A dick is someone who is malicious, and want to hurt people for the sake of hurting them.

An asshole, to women, is a man who won't compromise, because to do so is to hurt himself.

[–]2awalt_cupcake[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sort of. My primary intention was not to inflict harm, but to assert myself. It wasn't until I was called an asshole by women for the reasons listed above and seeing other men try to be an asshole that I realized the biggest difference between being a dick and and asshole is forcing it and being a by-product of sticking to your guns.

[–]1278209AR948Q 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I never understood the meaning of the words being an "asshole" or a "dick". I am not american, so I don't use those words.

The way I see americans use the word is to describe someone whobis disagreeable, for the most part. Don't be disagreeable for the sake of it, it shows.

Be disagreeable when others speak bullshit, when others speak nonsense, when you have to stand your ground. Standing your ground will already out you in the "asshole" category, as long as you aren't insulting anyone.

Being the "asshole" that people like is being a person that stands their own ground, and doesn't need to apologize for not conforming to the image of him others have in their head.

[–]final_one 15 points16 points  (0 children)

An important distinction people dont understand well enough.

[–]virginlor 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Key word in this whole passage is want. And that breaks down to the core principle of all of Red Pill philosophy: Power. Having what people want is power. Whether it's physical power (muscles and strength) or money and a nice lifestyle, or even to some extent being a criminal, women (and all people to some extent) look up to, admire, and follow those with power.

[–]iCeeYouP 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Nigga just listed everything BUT looks lol

[–]Gruss_p 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can see this in business a lot. Like Steve Jobs also wasn't mean to people on purpose. It makes sense.

[–]Nocryingok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah don't be annoying on purpose, but it's also a lesson to realize that YOU CAN'T ALWAYS PLEASE EVERYONE. Don't try to be a dick, but don't be afraid of being one either.

[–]Nergaal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought dicks fuck over both assholes and cunts

[–]Fulp_Piction 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You're not far away. If you get that zen asshole-in-the-moment vibe you're good. If you're being an asshole to provoke a reaction, you're outcome dependent, and you're sunk. https://www.google.com/amp/s/heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/being-the-right-kind-of-asshole/amp/

[–]JarHeadJoseph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re explaining this too black and white. It’s way more complex than this.

[–]abdullah_ibrahim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to up vote this many times. Thank youu

[–]TheHunt4RedCocktober 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Who owns a gym and goes to a different gym to lift?

[–]sh0t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The asshole thing was a myth

Wo men like HOT guys. Gentlemen. Assholes. Doesn't matter. HOT guys.

[–]grewapair 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Asshole = Not giving a woman what she wants when what she wants is you.

Dick = Not giving a woman what she wants when what she wants is your resources.

Beta = Giving a woman your resources in exchange for nothing, or very little.

If you're good looking, either you're a beta if you give her your resources, a dick if she wants you to be a beta and won't, or an asshole if you don't give her yourself when she wants you.

If you're ugly or otherwise someone women don't want, either you're a beta or a dick. You cannot be an ugly asshole.

[–]SOwED 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Dick = Not giving a woman what she wants when what she wants is your resources.

Sorry, you're saying I'm a dick for not giving in to gold diggers?

[–]grewapair -1 points0 points  (0 children)

From a woman's perspective. That's how they think.

[–]AggressiveProgrammer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, nice post. Basically, just be a guy who has goals and is focused on making his own life the best possible, be mature, make smart decisions, make a good power move, etc. It would be nice if we could be loving to everybody all of the time but that just literally isn't possible. That helps alleviate some misanthropic feelings I harbor for the human race since it's not that they want to be a stupid asshole, we just are in general because to be otherwise would be difficult, awkward, fake and stupid. We just don't love like 99.99% of people, so you can't really get mad at somebody like this. He's just doing his own thing and being of high value, it's on you for not being aware of his value and the constraints it brings.

[–]galt451 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hit the gym. The better you look the less it matters.

[–]Lordvarkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you broke a glass of wine in your hand, would you squeeze the broken glass because you feel angry you smashed it? Sure, the pain will motivate you but inadvertently, parts of you will be wounded every time you squeeze your hand.

[–]JBrody 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank you. I have tried to put this concept into words for a while.