872

"If you made more money, we would have more sex" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by skulk2fade

We are buying real estate, getting married and have our honeymoon to Europe booked, so finances are stretched pretty thin. Things have been a bit tense with this financial strain.

We got to talking and she was saying she needs me to make more money, i make $60k. I am 28 and I will finish my degree in 9 months. I plan on starting my MBA when I finish. I work in IT, but don't really have any IT qualifications until this Degree is finished, just a few certs. She went to private school and got her degree in law and is practicing as a solicitor, our pays basically the same though, hers $63,000.

So when we were talking tonight, I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically, I have lost so much confidence. I don't even feel confident about getting a higher paying job. I said we need more sex and I need a woman who I feel wants me, and she said to me "if you made more money, we would have more sex". I am blown away.

This is the red pill theories in action. Women don't love men like men love women. I love my fiance, but she obviously doesn't love me like i love her.


[–]Endorsed ContributorStories_of_Red 1897 points1898 points  (75 children)

If you marry this woman, do not ever blame her for what happens later. She just told you EVERYTHING you need to know about her and her feelings about you. You got more warning than most guys.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 177 points178 points  (7 children)

I wasted a few extra minutes typing out a longer comment when I should have typed these two lines right here.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 105 points106 points  (5 children)

Ditto. This should actually be the top comment, and if we had more seasoned members still active, I think it would be. It is a fools errand to acknowledge that women lack agency on one hand and then expect agency from them on the other. It's like handing a Sharpie to a 6 year old and then getting mad at him when he draws all over your walls.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Count this EC's full agreement in the comments here.

He needs to end this now. She has just laid her brain and heart bare. Sex in the context of his relationship with her is purely transactional. He should consider himself lucky. He should break up with her, pay for the honeymoon, help defray nonrefundable wedding/reception costs, and consider it all as getting out cheap.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 645 points646 points  (18 children)

You got more warning than most guys.

Upvoted for great observation.

She practically told you in plain speak who she is. You should consider it a favor on her part.

[–]trp_dude 299 points300 points  (13 children)

No, she told him in plainspeak what HE is. Beta. We already know what she is. A woman, no different from others. AWALT.

[–]TRPhd 142 points143 points  (1 child)

Nah, lawyers are a little different... they're worse.

[–]1mrthrowaway413[🍰] 79 points80 points  (7 children)

Yeah his response was very beta. In an LTR, you're supposed to act beta, but in the right way. This was not the right way.

AWALT for sure, but it's clear this woman is not marrying material.

Mistakes were obviously made beforehand, probably many

[–]cptspiffy 73 points73 points [recovered]

You got more warning than most guys.

Seriously. My wife didn't start this shit until year 5 when she had a couple of tiny hostages to hold against me. If he's already seeing this shit before even getting married? Hell, I can't even imagine what a harridan she will become once she gets that ring.

Run.

[–]Vasallo7G 31 points32 points  (1 child)

tiny hostages

word..

today society and big cities in general are a "Whore Paradise" devices to showcase her bodies at their fingertips to dozens even hundreds of men, husbands stuck in high stress jobs 12 hrs a day, a vehicle, money, business that keep the kids entertained and motels. What else could be missing?

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

+1

I wish I had a friend like you when I was engaged

[–]trp_dude 105 points106 points  (3 children)

You're confusing the issue. Money = beta. She sees you as a beta...because you are. WTF are you doing telling her your feelings? Feelz = beta.

More money does not lead to more sex. Period.

I will tell you what will happen. Sex will stop after you have the number of children she wants. This is because she's marrying you to get herself a provider. She's not attracted to you. Hard truth. If she were, she wouldn't even know how much you make much less care.

She will then have an affair.

Then she will divorce rape you.

Rinse and repeat.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

"WTF are you doing telling her your feelings? Feelz = beta."

Thats what I was going to say.

This short post gives us a very clear picture of what is wrong, and why.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Preach! +1

And she's a lawyer? Prepare to be making no money when she divorces you and takes everything.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I concur.

Hey, basically all the ECs in here are saying the same thing.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I haven't seen a unification of the Olde Guard like this in a while around here. If OP still goes through with the wedding, he dare not step foot back in here lest he be slaughtered for the cause. He has the warnings from the harlot, he has the advice from the brotherhood. He needs no more to make a rational decision.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yet my money is that he hamsters it all away because he has no abundance

[–]idontknowwhyidoit123 134 points135 points  (26 children)

I was thinking the same thing. Women like this make me sick, but men putting up with it makes it worse. Maybe that's why it always looked down on beta men. My husband would've hit the road a long time ago if I ever pulled shit like that.

I've been married 24yrs and make the largest portion of our income. Husband has a job he loves but makes very little, however it makes him happy which in turn makes me happy. I can't imagine EVER telling him he'd get more sex if he made more money. WTF kind of thing is that to say to someone. Anyone who makes a connection between income and sex doesn't need to be married. She needs to be an escort.

EDIT: Removed unintentional sub violation "as a woman". Didn't mean to cause an issue. Oh and thanks for the info on the RPW sub. I had no idea there was one.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 34 points35 points  (2 children)

In the future, drop the "as a woman" thing. No need to call attention to the fact you have tits. We can figure it out without it being bandied about.

However, what you said is the right attitude to have. There's a few girls like that left in our generation, but get younger than we are and the entitlement takes over. Single 40+ girls obviously make bad choices, if they didn't they wouldn't be single.

[–]External12 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Looking through his comments, he is getting married in less than 2 months and not calling it off.

[–]The_Red_Paw 224 points225 points  (11 children)

Dude, I hate to have to say this, but do NOT marry this woman. Do not date this woman. Do not call this woman. Do not answer her calls.

Biggest mistake of your life, unfolding right before our eyes.

[–]rossiFan 37 points38 points  (6 children)

OP had better update us saying that he's done exactly this, or we will have to hunt him down and beat some sense into him.

[–][deleted] 13 points13 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 790 points791 points  (71 children)

This is gonna be some cold hard truth here buddy.

You are marrying a lawyer?

Ouch you are fucked buddy. She is working in one of the most alpha work environments there is out there. She is going to be surround by men who have built practices with there own toil and sweat but in addition to these are competitive business men. In law you either succeed by being aggressive and getting rich or die in the archive room. You aren't going to be compared to the salary that she makes. You are going to be compared to the salary that the senior partners make.

Not to mention she has studied law knows how to read and how it can be enforced. You are in for a serious divorce rape. She is already giving you ultimatums and your not even married yet. This shit is going to get far worse before it gets better. She might have already lost respect to the point that you might not be able to come back.

Take a serious look at this relationship. If she is using sex as a bargaining chip now what is going to happen in a year? How about 5? Your in for a dead bedroom followed by a cheating wife and a huge divorce settlement in her favor once you start making more than her. Healthy relationships don't make sex a transaction let alone a ultimatum.

Edit 1:

Let me give you an analogy here. Your 28 male and in IT I'm going to assume you play video games and I am going to assume you have a steam account.

If Gabe Newell started a conversation with you and said "Hey /u/stulk2fade that's a nice steam collection you have there. You know if you put more money in your steam wallet I am going to remove this temporary ban I put on your account."

Would you do it?

Then when you didn't put enough money in your steam wallet and Gabe locked out your account, would you be pissed off?

Cause that's what she is saying and threatening to do.

[–][deleted] 486 points487 points  (13 children)

Dump this woman immediately and take a look at yourself. Honeymoon to Europe? This bitch is already trying to live her high life. You're gonna put yourself in debt to please her and she'll hate you for it.

Get out man. Get out now.

[–][deleted] 165 points166 points  (1 child)

Exactly. What the fuck... I'd end that relationship immediately.

[–]neoj8888 88 points89 points  (4 children)

No shit. Dump that shark and take your damn self to Europe.

[–]mugatucrazypills 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Yes ! If you do make any coin, she's going to become pregnant immediately and that 62k income of hers will disappear and the law degree goes on the shelf. Law firm is just a dating service for her seeking arrangement tendencies.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Lol before he makes any more money preferably.

[–]LugerDog 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yup and she's in law with a degree from a high an mighty school. Dude will NEVER be able to compete. All those alphas putting him down for being a "nerd" in IT. She'll spread wide open the second she thinks it will boost her career. GTFO NOW MAN!!!

[–]SureImShore 106 points107 points  (2 children)

Right on the money, on all accounts.

I recognized this guy's writing style and sob story. He's been posting about this cunt for months on here and asktrp. He never changes and he refuses to reconsider the marriage. He's a fucking lost cause. He'll be back in a year or so after she's fucking another dude and he gets divorce raped.

[–]DforDeadpool 82 points83 points  (3 children)

To /u/skulk2fade , ABORT NOW! ABORT!

Let me give you an analogy here. Your 28 male and in IT I'm going to assume you play video games and I am going to assume you have a steam account.

Lol this made me laugh.

[–]rossiFan 70 points71 points  (1 child)

As they say in mil aviation:

EJECT EJECT EJECT!

[–]1IamGale 79 points80 points  (0 children)

/u/skulk2fade, read this. Then read it again.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (4 children)

Am a male lawyer, get out while you still can.

[–]vorverk 53 points54 points  (1 child)

Please listen to this guy. Get out while you can. It might be hard to get out now, but in n years she will make it 1000000x harder.

[–]mugatucrazypills 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Pay 30k now or 3M later.

You decide.

True unicorn love conquers all.

[–]Endorsed ContributorProtoPill 33 points34 points  (5 children)

Ouch you are fucked buddy. She is working in one of the most alpha work environments there is out there. She is going to be surround by men who have built practices with there own toil and sweat but in addition to these are competitive business men. In law you either succeed by being aggressive and getting rich or die in the archive room. You aren't going to be compared to the salary that she makes. You are going to be compared to the salary that the senior partners make.

/u/skulktofade, this advice is critical for you to understand. I was in this field, at the top, for a long time. Your girlfriend will be surrounded by top-tier, extroverted men, who are powerful, charismatic, and connected. You need to understand, and everyone here needs to understand, that women (and men) in the legal profession always get caught up in its hype and glamor. I would advise you to seriously take a look at the nature of the profession and what it will likely do to your girlfriend. Make no mistake, if alpha males are collected in any one place, it is in the law.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Can confirm. I have a friend who is in an LTR with a girl who works in the legal profession. She's constantly looking to branch swing (and has actively interviewed me, when my friend would pop to the bathroom, for said branch swing. Not happening on my watch, but doesn't mean it won't happen on the watch of someone who doesn't care about my friend.)

[–]TRPhd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She'd be doing him a favor to branch swing.

It might rip his guts out, but it would leave him free to find a nice kindergarten teacher.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 11 points12 points  (1 child)

It is much the same in the field of medicine. My kid cousin just graduated UF with a degree in medicine and just took a job as head pharmacist at a local hospital; he is married, yet is hit on all the fucking time by nurses and female orderlies. He's not muscular or even that overtly masculine. But the position and the doctorate degree breeds vaginal tingles. Just like law.

[–]LugerDog 35 points36 points  (0 children)

This right here. If this dude goes through with this he is one of the dumbest people here on Reddit and that says a lot.

[–]Moneyley 34 points35 points  (1 child)

  1. End it...judging by your tone, it will likely be hard and youll be attacked by them feels. But its way better than dealing with the feels of being cheated on and reflecting on all the signs that pointed for you to get out.
  2. Ima go on and be clairvoyant here and tell you whats going on. As u/Questionablechoice says, she is in a climate of hustlers. Lawyers are cut throat powerhouses that are redpill without knowing it. Id say most of them dont have time to even comment on these forums. I hate to say it but she sees them, their decisiveness, then she comes home to you. This aint a diss; I make about exactly what you make yearly, except that I'm not with anybody. Its my money, I spend it how I like, and let my momma tell it, nigga I aint livin right.

As many posts on TRP say, this is just how women are. Brah, at $60k a year you're doing very well; better than average, its always the goal to go get more, I agree with her on that. HOWEVER, you chase the money FOR YOURSELF, not for her. Many TRP'ers are happy at $45k, maybe even $40k but they are happy for THEMSELVES and not for OTHER people.

TLDR: She is basically engulfed in alpha powerhouses all day, then comes home to you and expects you to be her emotional tampon. Relationship is dead. Time to move on.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 64 points65 points  (8 children)

You are marrying a lawyer?

I dunno. It's probably fun screwing a lawyer than the other way around for ounce. /rimshot.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Yes but why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 68 points69 points  (4 children)

I went for the joke. I am not advocating cattle purchases.

[–]chaseemall 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Cattle consumption on the other hand gives you the protein and cholesterol you need to build muscle, synthesize testosterone and feel like a man.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I like a good steak or burger now and again also; I don't marry the steak.

[–]1Ronin11A 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Healthy relationships don't make sex a transaction let alone a ultimatum.

This point cannot be stressed enough.

She should want to fuck your brains out because you make her tingle, not as a favor for giving her more money to play with.

[–]1dongpal 18 points19 points  (1 child)

this.

also , only way to win would be to not play the game. you need to be better than everyone else in another aspect than money.

[–]mugatucrazypills 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Strange game professor. The only winning move is not to play.

[–]QuantifiedDisgust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not a fan of commenting or telling others to drop a girl, but this thread has the right idea. I know we're only getting one side but it's a story we all know the ending to. I would get out now before she ruins your life for her own fun.

[–][deleted] 108 points109 points  (5 children)

Drop this broad like a cell phone call in a tunnel, now.

I take no pleasure in saying this ; your fiancee is already banging someone else. Women operate on a very specific principle when it comes to money: if her man makes equal or less then she does, she rounds to zero.

As far as your fiancee is concerned you're a leech who makes nothing, because she brings more to the table then you do.This is not merely my own conclusion- scientific surveys of women in relationships always find that women correlate money with relationship security. The more money her man makes the more secure and thus greater emotion she has.

Given that the primary reason women date is money, this spells bad news for you. Further, unless she's taken a vow of celibacy, process of elimination and logic suggests if she's not getting off with you she is doing so with someone else.

She also works in law, and went to private school. Rest assured she's got some backup man(men?!) In her phonebook who makes more then you do; I'm wagering she's only hanging around because of the European honeymoon, the pending Real Estate purchase, and the marriage.

She wont kick you to the curb yet, because in sticking around she gets social status (I'm.getting married!!!!5000 Facebook likes!!!!!) and the fact she gets a house and a European vacation.

Think we're just a bunch of kooks on the internet? OK. This is an easy one to prove. Walk through your door and tell your fiancee there's a delay in the honeymoon and house purchase due to a paperwork issue.

Watch her reaction. If she really loves you, she won't care.Love is all you need, can't buy affection, and so forth correct?

If she's like every other woman alive, shell turn cold and/or start a fight immediately. If the latter happens, there's your answer. A stop at the liquor store may be in order before doing this .

Remember; no man here, myself included, can say we've never made errors where women are concerned. All men fall to crafty females in some way . It's the question of how you get back up which decides your future.

[–]widec 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Think we're just a bunch of kooks on the internet? OK. This is an easy one to prove. Walk through your door and tell your fiancee there's a delay in the honeymoon and house purchase due to a paperwork issue.

Watch her reaction. If she really loves you, she won't care.Love is all you need, can't buy affection, and so forth correct?

That's a great test. Man have to start testing women to see if they're worthy of their time and affection, just like they test us for our strength.

[–]CopyAndPaste2015 97 points98 points  (0 children)

Run away as fast as you can mate, while you can.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 325 points326 points  (13 children)

I love my fiance, but she obviously doesn't love me like i love her.

Right.

You think you're sexually unsatisfied now? Wait until you're married and have no other options in life.

You'll probably still marry her. You'll go through with all this, for some blue pill reasoning (I said I would! I love her! It will all be fine! I've paid for the honeymoon!)

Look... there's alpha and there's beta. Very very very few marriages manage to combine both. And those that do involve the man being extremely alpha, knowing what he's doing from the start, and being insanely strong in the face of female shit tests.

You on the other hand... are starting on the back foot. You've made all this commitment to her, and you've asked her to hold up her side of the deal. To which she did not answer "of course I will honey, I love you, I adore you, I deeply crave hot sex with you!" ... no, she said "you must do more".

It's not even true. If you did earn more, you'd have more sex for a week after your pay raise. Then it would go back to how it was, and she'd be saying "well, it's not that big a raise is it?". And if you did suddenly make enough... she'd turn round and say "I'm not a whore, money can't buy sex with me!".

Thing is... there's always a reason with this type of woman, and the reason (I am said to say) is this: "I hold all the sexual power and you must do my bidding". Sex is used as a weapon and as a negotiation, you must always pay for it, and you'll never get enough.

Welcome to TRP, make yourself at home, read the sidebar.

DO NOT MARRY

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 106 points107 points  (4 children)

I've paid for the honeymoon!

This will be the ultimate rationalization hamstering why OP decides to marry her anyways, despite her showing enough red flags to make Kim Jong Un blush.

If men are susceptible to one thing, it is the Sunken Cost Fallacy. "But we've been together for so long! How can we throw away X years of a relationship?! (my ex used this on me all the time when I threatened to leave) "But I've already paid for the honeymoon!"

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Hear hear. The most disappointing thing about this thread is that OP doesn't realize the 'cost' of breaking it off right now will pale in comparison to the cost he'll inevitably face down the road.

Actually, I call troll to this whole post. OP's just trying to pull our leg.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The sunk cost fallacy is a bad one.

Dropping that money means he has the option to go, not the obligation to go. People fuck this shit up all the time.

[–]Code_Bordeauxx 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Either you pay nothing for sex, nothing at all, or you pay with everything; all limits are off.

if you made more money, we would have more sex

OP: this is you paying. There's only one sensible thing to do now, and there's a timer attached to it on top of that. Now cut loose from this sunk cost and do what you need to do for the sake of your future mental well being.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You think you're sexually unsatisfied now? Wait until you're married and have no other options in life.

I just have a vision.

I see a future, where OP is the stay-at-home-dad, because “You know I make more money and you could find a job, where you can work from home.“, shortly before he gets divorced from her, because she fell in love “with“ that DT-millionaire-client who fucked her brains out, while he did the chores.

[–]vorverk 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Exactly. He might be rationalizing that he'll become more alpha later and make more money and somehow fix the stuff. But it's allready too late.

It's a war. And op is entering this war (marriage) with stone age axe, while she's allready equipped with aircraft carriers and high tech drones.

EJECT

[–]AlfredTheGreatest 170 points171 points  (6 children)

Why are you buying a cow that gives no milk? This will get worse once you get married. Run for your life, man. It will never be easier to walk away than TODAY! Yes, you have sunk costs in this. You want to get an MBA? First test question: How should sunk costs factor into decisions?

[–]skulk2fade 97 points98 points  (5 children)

They shouldn't if you already lost money don't lose more

[–]mikesteane 77 points78 points  (0 children)

And she's a lawyer, so the breakup will be even more on her terms than it would otherwise have been.

[–]killking72 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Say you bought stocks in a drug company that was currently in the process of testing a cure all everything forever pill. Everyone is going to buy into that early especially you because you want money. You learn from a very credible source that the FDA is going to trashcan it because it causes sudden death in 90% of the patients. Are you going to wait until It tanks and you're down 40 grand from your 401k or are you going to get out while the gettin' in good.

You can't treat this kind of situation like she's a person or you'll get caught up on the human aspect of the problem. You love her, you want to be with her, yadda yadda. She is going to absolutely ruin your life. She even told you she would.

There are lots of people who will talk mad shit if they hear why you left her, and there are others in your life who will give you a metric fuckton of respect. But if you stay with her and end up in a sad marriage, everyone will pity you until they learn that you could've avoided it and then they'll think you're an idiot. Then welcome to being known as a bitch.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Then break it off now. You think you've lost money by planning the wedding? Just wait until your unhappy and want a divorce and watch how bad your finances will get once you've been divorce raped. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - and a female lawyer is the devil incarnate.

[–]DocTomoe 165 points166 points  (3 children)

We are buying real estate, getting married and have our honeymoon to Europe booked

Now here are three life decisions that you should probably reconsider.

[–]tclearinghouse 31 points32 points  (0 children)

literally laughed at this, sad but so true

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 157 points158 points  (11 children)

She's a lawyer? Time to speak her language.

"Tying our sex life to my salary is a deal-breaker. Let's move the discussion from wedding planning to how we can cancel the event and separate with minimal damage."

[–]Need_vagina_pix_nao 60 points61 points  (4 children)

I'd love to be a fly on the wall if OP actually said this to her.

[–]Marcus_Fartrelius 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Better than his current "muh needs" chatter.

[–]AlphaAccountant 18 points19 points  (0 children)

OP record it please! gets popcorn

[–]1mojo_juju 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, OP, can you please record this conversation?

Turn on your cell phone mic. Confront her. Post it on youtube, then post it here.

Plzkthx

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Exactly. To me the fact that OP's fiance is a lawyer is inconsequential, because a woman does not need to be a lawyer to divorce-rape a man. The fact that she makes more money than he does actually makes it a lot harder for her to divorce-rape him, but that's not the point. This is a shit test plain and simple, he needs to A&A or otherwise deal with it.

"So you're raising your current rate to what, $250 an hour now? I think I can find better if I shop around a bit..."

[–]steve70638 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"We are about to commit to richer or poorer, etc. but you have clearly said that it has to be richer. You are going into this agreement in bad faith because you are already planning to violate it."

[–]Klldarkness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The moment he said anything close to this, she'd lay down the ultimate shit test. "You raped me."

Now he's fucked.

No, he needs to document everything, install cameras in his place, and THEN break up with her.

That way, when she flips shit, as its quite obvious she will, he can prove he didn't do shit.

[–][deleted] 69 points69 points

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[–]SarsaparillaCorona 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Oh gosh, this guy again? Every time I read about him the train wreck gets more and more gruesome.

Please OP, don't marry this witch.

[–]Marcus_Fartrelius 9 points10 points  (3 children)

She isn't a witch at all. If a decent chick came up and offered you sex whenever you wanted, at minimal emotional or time cost - would you accept? Of course you would. Does that make you a slut abuser? Sure doesn't in my eyes.

If OP is offering money and emotional validation for being treated like any common man she would meet on the street - that is on him, and him alone - for he has the choice of separating, and has had it since the relationship started. He has had the choice of leaving her, he has had the choice of doing something for himself that would net him a loyal, hot and intelligent partner (This secret process Is called working your ass of in the gym, creating your own business, studying dilligently and working on your social skills and network since the moment you realised they were lacking).

OP apparently decided to do none of these, evident in her lack of respect for him.

Not everybody is suited to be RP, don't try to help the losers who only jumped to TRP for their own emotional masturbation on how "Evil" women are, and not the process of learning how to make them "good" for you (Dread game, understanding male-female bonding and increasing your confidence and self-worth).

[–]trpdgc 6 points7 points  (0 children)

At this point, let him marry her and be done with it. Some day he'll fucking learn

[–]Danedina 26 points27 points  (0 children)

thanks for doing the legwork. This guy doesn't deserve any more of our time.

[–]_eskimo_brothers_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sigh. H42 is spot on.

OP - Since Star Wars is all over the place, let me make this pop culture related. "You're going down a path we can't follow."

You are not practicing what you preach (by visiting TRP and telling others to). You're a gallon of ice cream and she's already started feeding off of you with large scoops. If you want to be a sticky, empty, shell of what you once were, continue on this path. She's going to eat you alive. You are not respected, and you are not the man right now to turn her around. You are not standing up for yourself, and you are not leading her. The issue here is, it's very hard to turn a relationship around when you are currently a quivering beta and you're doing a shit job at being the man. You are not squashing shit tests. You are asking for more sex, this never ever gets you more sex.

You'd be better off bugging out of this situation now in my opinion. Even if you could turn it around, have you thought if you'd actually be happy? AWALT, but you're dealing with a rather toxic person to start with, is it even worth it? You've been told what to do for 8 months? Get the fuck out and rebuild yourself.

[–]1v1mebruh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just went through his past posts, it's like watching a trainwreck in slow motion. This fool doesn't value his own life enough to do more than whine.

[–]eccentricrealist 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Duuuuuude. DUUUUUUUDE. Run the fuck away while you still can and make sure she won't sue for palimony. Fuck, man, she's already making it clear that she wants you for your money, or at least, it's big part of your value to her. It's already implied, of course, but if she's so open about it she's colder than the average woman and truly doesn't give a shit. You lost confidence? Happens to all of us who date a manipulative woman. It happened to me and I crashed and burned pretty hard. She loved the way you made her feel, but not anymore.

[–]32643264 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Game over. This bitch has weaponized her sexuality. Cut and run. Anytime a woman uses her sexuality as a utility she is not worth it. Ever heard any married person say "im having way more sex now that im married". yeah, me neither.

Good luck

[–]0io- 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Married guy here. OP. Run! Everyone is telling you the truth.

You have a face-saving move here. She tells you you don't make enough money for sex. You told her you need sex. Just tell her you thought about things and she's right and she will slow down your career right now. You don't feel good about having sex with her since she doesn't desire you and you're going to have sex with someone who does. Say that she'll probably make some rich guy very happy some day and you're sorry that it didn't work out.

AND THEN RUN!!!

You've already had the real honeymoon. You got all of the sex you are going to get from her for the rest of your life. Now she thinks she owns you and you're about to become the plow horse in the Manipulated Man, her Beta Bux.

Please read what people are telling you here.

When someone like this has shown you who she really is, believe her!

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 27 points28 points  (3 children)

First try singing this in Bruce Dickinson's voice:

"Run to the hills, run for your life..."

Then ask your fair maiden for her pricelist. It's pretty clear she's a working girl, and this is good news, because it should make your sex life much easier from now on. You'll know what you're paying for.

I'm not even sarcastic.

[–]Izzenw 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I will teach you a meditation exercise.

First of all, imagine yourself running. Second of all, imagine a timeline, where there is no tomorrow. third and final, fuse the two steps.

Now seriously bro, I wish I could sit with you, have a whisky and a bro conversation on how you would get your life ruined by staying with this girl.

For real, it will HURT A LOT, but leave. NOW. Hard Next her and go lift. Substitute her for lifting.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Dump her you dumb idiot what the fuck

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This post is making my Troll Senses tingle, but I am going to leave it up because it has already spawned some good discussion threads.

[–]uxl 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Forget about her, even if you don't dump her right now, and focus entirely on yourself:

Step 1: be attractive. Get lots of sleep, drink lots of water, lift lots weight, eat lots of healthy food, and run lots of miles - in that order (Source: lost 110lbs, 10" off waist, been fucked countless times, since)

Step 2: be alpha. Demand more of yourself in the workplace, in your career, in your path to fortune - and move, move, move (source: increased my income by 50%, nabbed a director role)

Step 3: be fun. Discover or feed a personal activity, preferably a sporty and masculine one, like rock climbing or kick-boxing. (Source: built a forge, started blacksmithing, feel like Hephaestus)

Step 4: be social. Go to parties, or join groups/events where you will meet new people and get invited to them, and use MALE friends who you trust for ALL your emotional outlets, venting, and any other potential loss of frame. (Source: used good friend as an outlet whenever I may otherwise have lost frame in my work/plate-spinning life, made friends in concert parking lots or on the floor between bands)

Step 5: be carefree. Now that you've followed steps 1-4, you can comfortably not give a fuck - about your wife or anyone/anything else. And you know what? Only might you be in a position where you can rationally decide whether this marriage is worth saving. (Source: for the first time in my life, I feel free)

You MUST follow these steps, and if you feel that you cannot, get out now, as it will only get much, much, much worse. (Source: went through divorce after finding RP too late)

If you bail after following these steps (and continue following them) you WILL find happiness and satisfaction. (Source: just had my first - and certainly not last - threesome, and feel stronger and more satisfied than at any point in my BP life)

[–]whammyface 19 points20 points  (0 children)

And you need to bounce from that relationship like yesterday

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Anyone wanna point OP to a hooker? He needs one to bash a pussy pedestal & getting an escort is one of the brain-dead easy baby steps to do that.

Look,here in TRP & other sites that make up the Manosphere,we give enough of a fuck about our bros to not get ass-raped by Divorce Rape & Alimony Rape.

What you see right now is just a preview of what's to come.This will only get WORSE.Not an exageration,not a joke,but literally it will get worse. Once your chained by the ring,she can cheat as much as she wants and(especially so since she's a lawyer),she'll know EXACTLY how to rape you financially in the courts while having dead bedroom. Suicide or fleeing to another country is one of the few options you'd have when your trapped.

Don't be mad at her btw,since your lucky enough that she admits that BEFORE you married her.

When the others in the Manosphere warn you to RUN.LIKE.HELL. You do it.

[–]EGOtyst 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I am married. I understand what it takes to remain married.

Do NOT, under any circumstances, marry this woman. Do NOT buy into the sink cost fallacy. If your parents seem disappointed, just tell them what she said.

That is the largest red flag I can think of.

And most travel places and wedding venues well give you some of the money back.

Honeymoon already paid for and you can't get a refund? Bring your dad/brother and have a fine fucking time.

Do NOT tie yourself to a woman who only fucks you for money. There is a word for those kinds of women...

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Your fiancé or your prostitute?

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 24 points25 points  (3 children)

They're all prostitutes (and that's a good thing).

Some are cash-in-hand prostitutes, some are time/effort prostitutes, some are status prostitutes, some are 'half your assets 5 years from now' prostitutes.

Bottom line is, you always pay. You can switch currencies, but you always pay.

Oh, and the cash-in-hand ones are the most honest ones. I sincerely recommend.

[–]antariusz 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You give good advice, but my own preference is to the honest status prostitutes. My current relationship is with a 20 year old already in a doctoral program in a family full of doctors. That doesn't mean that cash-in-hand prostitutes don't have their place, but status doesn't "go away" when she is fucking you for it, the cash, once given, is lost forever. As long as you're not lowering your own status by being associated with a girl (bringing a hoodrat to the yacht club), there is no downside to a status prostitute.

She even talks about it as one of the reasons she likes me (once you translate from womanese, she will use codes like my family really likes you; or our children would be both intelligent and attractive). As long as you're ok with being used to satisfy her hypergamy, and you're a high enough value man, that you don't fear her branch swinging (and if she does you wouldn't care), you might end up in a similar situation to myself, but yea, the OP is NOT in that situation, his fiance is going to be surrounded by much more alpha dominant men all day long, and their marriage is already toast before it even began.

[–]Crimsonman0 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What you're seeing here is a red flag the size of a galaxy, call off the marriage and cut her off, she's going to say that she's sorry and that she loves but don't believe that shit, just fucking leave.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (16 children)

So when we were talking tonight, I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically, I have lost so much confidence. I don't even feel confident about getting a higher paying job.

Girls don't want a weak man, keep that shit to yourself, or go tell your guy friends. This is why you aren't getting laid. She's done nothing but tell you what you needed to hear.

I don't date a bitch, but I can't say that, so I'll make up a bullshit excuse about money.

Also, the guys are on point about the lawyer bit, but their 'cut tail and run' approach is a pretty bitch move also. she won't need the money if she is half way competent, she will need an alpha in the house. An alpha doesn't get psychologically damaged when a little girl runs her mouth. An alpha puts the little girl in her place and runs the fucking household.

I know the theme here is 'Women are shit' but in reality, it's 'women are as shitty as you let them be'

This is on you man.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Girls don't want a weak man, keep that shit to yourself, or go tell your guy friends. This is why you aren't getting laid.

This.

she won't need the money if she is half way competent, she will need an alpha in the house.

The danger is that she had a couple of kids, her income drops and then she divorce rapes her worker bee engineer husband who will then get 'punished' by the court for working, saving and being a good citizen.

An alpha doesn't get psychologically damaged when a little girl runs her mouth. An alpha puts the little girl in her place and runs the fucking household.

And "BOOM!" goes the dynamite!

/u/skulk2fade you have some shit to figure out. First, you need to reconsider your relationship with this woman. Second, you need to harden the fuck up, third, if you do stay with her, you need to google '12 levels of dread'. Although really, it's likely better to start over with a different chick who is less defective.

[–]verify_account 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Also, the guys are on point about the lawyer bit, but their 'cut tail and run' approach is a pretty bitch move also. she won't need the money if she is half way competent, she will need an alpha in the house. An alpha doesn't get psychologically damaged when a little girl runs her mouth. An alpha puts the little girl in her place and runs the fucking household.

Putting aside the fact that marriage is just stupid these days (I know, your unicorn is different) I agree with you. But OP isn't ready to be that alpha yet. He cannot rise to the challenge without hard work and training. We gotta get this kid out of the ring.

[–]Borsao66 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Lawyers are also on my lists of don't date/fuck.

These are women who chose a profession based on adversarial dynamics and will bring that attitude home to the relationship.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm normally all about the "improve yourself and she'll get in line" school of thought, but this is bigger than that. I'm not worried about your relationship. I'm worried about you.

You're a decent guy, pretty young, with a decent job in a decent field, decent money, on the right path toward getting a degree and starting another. And you've spent the last however-long you've been with your fiance getting bitched at and emasculated about jobs and money, rebuked for sex, and your fiance is so comfortable with what a loser you are that she doesn't even bother hiding her disrespect for you. She's expressly said she's whoring herself to you for your paycheck. Having sex with you because she wants to and thinks you're a worthwhile guy to fuck? Pssshaw.

This goes beyond agree and amplify. Tell her to go fuck herself.

Break the engagement. Don't buy the house. Cancel the honeymoon and get back whatever money you can, or just go yourself, or go with someone else.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

ABANDON SHIP!!!

It's not too late to get the fuck out of there. Don't ruin your life.

[–]Beegsi_ 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Men are still trying to get married in the west. Wft is this? Dude prepare to be divorced raped and cheated on if you get married in this climate.

[–]freebase1ca 8 points9 points  (1 child)

After being on this planet for a half century and being in a number of relationships I have naturally come to recognize certain red flags. Your fiancé has raised a huge one. We all need sex. It's inescapable. For her to use it as a bargaining chip is a huge, serious problem. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting sex - or more sex with her. You need to question why she doesn't want more with you. Are you incompatible? Is she being influenced by the alpha males in the office?

It comes down to this: Anytime a woman feels she is doing you a favour by having sex with you, your going to have a bad time. It needs to be a two way street. You need a relationship where you're both doing each other the favour of having sex. She should be honoured that you would give her your attention.

Anyone who can deliver a home, wedding and a European honeymoon while being a student is doing way better than 99.99% of the population. More money won't fix anything - nothing should be broken. I would love to hear how she can justify even having the thought.

Sadly, I have to tell you that this situation is unfixable. There is no bargaining or change you can make that will fix it. You either have to come to terms with the fact that you will never have the amount of sex with her that you want or move on to someone else. In fact, things are only going to get worse. There are plenty of upcoming downward pressures such as:

  • Having babies/kids

  • You gaining weight at a desk job

  • You not being able to maintain the larger and larger homes you are forced to buy

  • You losing your hair from the stress of having to provide more than you are able (my hair came out in clumps the month after our huge wedding from the stress)

  • Her needing external validation as she starts to lose her looks

  • etc.

Understand that you will be facing this scenario in the future... You will suddenly get more sex - for a while. It might even be as amazing as daily adventurous sex but it won't last - maybe a week or a month. You'll feel great. But afterward you will look back and realize why it happened. Perhaps a reward for that last vacation or for the larger diamond. How will you feel then? Will you feel used and manipulated. How will you feel when you can't figure out what the trigger was? Chances are it was out of guilt for the guy at the office that she slept with. That guy she was mentioning a bit too often and then suddenly stopped mentioning at all... How will you feel then.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Why on fucking earth is this woman still your fiancé? Marrying in general is a bad idea. Marrying a woman lawyer is a fucking horrible idea. Think about it; when she tires of you, she already has the legal skill to know how to clean your clock in a divorce.

[–]HV123 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wake up. The only reason you won't dump her is because you're scared you can't get anyone else "as good".

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That is a red flag the size of fucking mars. It's not worth it, take the L now and save yourself years of sexless unhappiness before getting reamed for all the rest of your assets and dignity by her law firm.

[–]skulk2fade 29 points30 points  (29 children)

This is all really difficult for me. I read the red pill on a daily basis (I lurk a lot) but I feel so crap at the moment -_-

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Quit whining and read /u/MattyAnon's response above.

This is your future if you go through with the marriage.

Is it worth it?

[–]Menstrual-Cyclist 41 points42 points  (0 children)

You should feel like crap. The truth is ugly, painful, and a bitter pill to swallow. But that sick feeling means it cuts to the heart of the matter. You done goofed, but it isn't irreversible, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Your sharing this story with us is like explaining to your doctor that your stomach hurts. Our answers are the doctor telling you that you have stomach cancer, but your prognosis is good if you start treatment right away.

Well, are you going to start treatment, or are you going to let it (her) eat you down to the bone until you gasp your last breath?

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 36 points37 points  (4 children)

WHEN the sex reduces after marriage, when she comes up with more excuses not to have sex, like Stories of Red said above...you have no right to blame her for it. Do not come here 2 years from now asking "omg guise what do I do, my wife won't have sex with me."

Why? Because you won't have a sympathetic ear here, we will tell you to take it to dead bedrooms. Most women wait until after they've gotten the wedding band and legal contract of marriage to start using sex as an ultimatum tool. She, however, is like Marty McFly; she's giving you a glimpse into your future, and guess what? You're not gonna be getting laid like Biff Tannen.

  • I'm too tired
  • You've gotten a bit out of shape lately (because she will shame you out of the gym to "spend more time with her")
  • I'm on my period (whether she really is or not)
  • I had a hard day at work (pretty much every Mon thru Fri)
  • Gimme a back massage (during which she will conveniently fake falling asleep)
  • I'm going out with the girls from work (and by girls she means guys)

Get ready to hear all of it. Many of us here already have.

http://therationalmale.com/2013/08/29/as-good-as-it-gets/

READ THAT. Then read it again. Men marry idealistically (which is why you are so devastated at the reality she shows you), women marry opportunistically (which is why she's marrying you for your income potential and bargaining sex around what she's really after, your money).

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Or your best case scenario becomes

  • unwilling and impatient sex that makes you think masturbating to porn would have been a better idea

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And more exciting than pulsating into a wet-holed starfish. It's amazing how in 50 short years the dynamic has shifted from "if you want to get constant sex then you need to get married", to "if you want to get constant sex the last thing you should do is get married."

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hilarious and so accurate.

Especially the back massage slumber

[–]ImHereAtLast 20 points20 points [recovered]

I don't think you realize it, but you actually have a fair amount of power in this situation... you have yet to marry her, and you have yet to take her on that European honeymoon.

I'd pay good money to see her reaction if you told her that you'd like to "take a break" and "hold off the wedding."

[–]NaughtyFred 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I read the red pill on a daily basis

Then you already know what rp thinks your fate will be with this woman and how it will play out.

  1. You'll marry her (unless you wise the fuck up)

  2. She'll start making more money at her law firm (more than you)

  3. She'll lose whatever shred of respect for you she has.

  4. She'll start looking for someone else, someone better than her perception of you.

  5. She'll find it at the law firm (junior/senior partner)

  6. They'll be fucking on the regular in ways you can only dream of while you might get starfish sex once a month wondering why her pussy tastes saltier than you remember. (welcome to cucksville, population: you)

  7. She'll grow tired of how pathetic you are compared to her alpha, and start moving the pieces into place to divorce you, which you won't see coming because you'll be too busy feeling sorry for yourself while thinking of new ways to please her ever increasing demands for ever decreasing rewards.

  8. Your ass will be divorce raped until you prolapse

  9. You'll be left with nothing but a shredded heart and an empty bank account while she steps off into her new richer, better life...you won't be remembered.

[–]topapito 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's done. Over. You are working hard at being blind. And from this comment, I can see that nobody is getting through to you.

You will marry this woman. You will be sorry. We'll point you to this post when you come back.

Guys, let's pack it up. We lost him. Good job, can't save them all though.

[–]BenjiDread 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just went through an extremely difficult breakup. I had been with my ex for 7 years, 5 of those years we lived together and we have a 3 year old child.

Within a year of first moving in, I knew something was wrong with the sex life. 4 years of denial later I had to walk away from everything we had built together, destroy the family I put all my self-worth into and walk away from my one and only child (I still get to see her on a fairly regular basis, but it absolutely crushed me to no longer live in the same house as my daughter)

If you think you have sunken cost now, you're in for a future of absolute desolation. This woman is a sick fucking bitch who DOES NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK about you. Leave now. Leave TODAY. Burn that fucking bridge to the ground.

I only moved out 2 months ago. I'm still extremely sad, lonely, angry, and heartbroken, but guess what.... It's better that it was last month and it'll be better next month.

Leave, start lifting and start practicing RP advice right now. The more of this advice you hear and ignore, the less effective any future advice will be. You are lucky enough to know all of this BEFORE making the biggest mistake of your life. You can only blame yourself when it plays out exactly as we are predicting here. And you'll hate yourself even more than you do now when she eventually leaves or cheats on you, then divorce rapes you to oblivion.

Getting married to this women will not solve any of your problems but will make them infinitely worse.

You've been wasting a lot of time waiting for a something from this woman that will never come. EVER. Take the hit, GTFO and start the process of building yourself a new life. Do it or you will fucking die.

[–]ATrashMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Obviously you do not read red pill enough. Everyone here, myself included, can tell by your previous post history and your posts here that you are just whining and you are not going to do a damn thing except get divorce raped. I almost feel sorry for you.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Please don't marry her. Have some trust on your internet friends. It will end bad for you. And if you end up having kids ,you are royally fucked. Please don't marry her!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Get some fucking game. Who do you think you are saying things like this- "I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically, I have lost so much confidence. I don't even feel confident about getting a higher paying job. I said we need more sex and I need a woman who I feel wants me"

[–]1Jax77789 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I went through law school. I remember the family law course. We could see the girls scheming as they jotted down notes. The basic rule here on TRP is to never marry, at least not under US law. I would never ever consider taking a woman lawyer or sollicitor as a wife.

To marry her, when she has also made it clear she is using you as a walking wallet, is like playing russian roulette with a 50 BMG machine-gun.

At 28 you have loads of options, pick any 20 something at the bars on saturday night and enjoy. Dump that bitch, bro.

[–]16 MGaiusScaevolus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

  • Cancel the wedding.

  • Cancel the European Honeymoon

  • Buy an investment property, not a house in the burbs.

Look how much your cash flow opened up by dropping just a little dead weight.

[–]don_pel 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Man, you are talking too much.

I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically, I have lost so much confidence.

She must have had the tingles after that.

I said we need more sex and I need a woman who I feel wants me

Dude.... you can not negotiate desire

Work on yourself, lift, and stop talking about your feelings with her before you dry out her vagina for good.

[–]DracoPhage 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey buddy, you're in danger. You may not think so, but you are.

You've likely been raised a certain way. To think that marriage is the be all and end all for a man. It's not.

Here's the choice: believe your instincts and act in your own self interest or marry this woman and become her slave.

Something drove you to post here. You know what you have to do. Your ancestors, the men who fought and bred and died so you could be here are watching.

Are you going to disappoint them?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, you are in SERIOUS trouble. You MUST dump this woman immediately. Even though red pill says a woman can't love you, she can love the way you make her feel. If she is already treating you like this then if you get married you are screwed. She is going to make your life hell. Even if you are crazy enough to ignore the first commandment of red pill "NEVER GET MARRIED", then for god's sake do not marry her.

She is a lawyer!! I am also a lawyer and let me tell you some things. Even if she does not have the skills to fuck you over legally, she works with people every day who do have the skills. She is surrounded by people who know people, who know other people, who can refer her to other people etc - you get my meaning. she has tried to make you fell small and force you to be a beta bux. She will cheat and make you into the bad guy. Run my friend, run. I am begging you.

[–]flat6turbo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

i have very little faith that op will do the right thing.

[–]fdsdfs89 4 points5 points  (1 child)

"Can woman make a shit test so big OP can't see it?" Yes.

[–]Janus_Fawkes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I loled so hard I farted. You win 100 Internets.

[–]-Riskbreaker- 5 points6 points  (5 children)

We're all itching for you to ditch this woman but a part of me knows you won't. Most likely you need to go through the suffering for real before you understand why everyone is telling you to quit while you're only slightly behind. If you do go ahead with the marriage, it will be one of the most painful and expensive lessons you ever endure, but it will make a man out of you. Good luck.

[–]nappy_moose_nuts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Kicking her to the curb is literally the most attractive thing to her you can do at this point. Go absolutely no contact, and when she reaches out to you reform the relationship on your terms. You have to be willing to show her that you can walk away and truly mean it. I learned this the hard way. The strongest negotiating stance is the one that can walk away and never look back, and trust me this will change the way she sees you and acts around you if you play it right. Stay strong, stay abundant.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I'm not going to tell you that you should break it off. You've made your decision and only you can decide what to do.

However, your self-esteem is your problem. It comes from within you and external things like getting your dick wet should have no bearing on it.

You can and must turn this around if you want to have a happy and successful marriage. That starts with you getting your ass to the gym. It starts with you building your self up in a way that is independent of how someone else, including your fiance feels about you.

You are educated, make more money than most people in the US and deserve to be treated better.

Next time you want to have sex tell your fiance before you go to work that tonight you are both going to get it on.

She'll say something like, "No. I don't think so."

You say, "We'll see," with a wink and a smile.

That night you come home and if she's not ready to fuck you then you change you clothes and go out with friends or go to the gym or go watch Star Wars by yourself. You leave her in the home to stew by herself while you go out and hang with people who want to be with you.

She needs to know she can't control you with that pussy. If she wants you around then she has an obligation to meet your needs. If she doesn't want to meet your needs then you will get validation and companionship with your buddies or spend your time doing things that make you happy rather than being with someone who thinks you are a second class citizen.

You don't tell her your reasoning. It is enough that you suddenly develop an outside life that she is not part of and not welcome in. You don't have to threaten her or point out that whenever she refuses you that you are going to leave and do something else.

You just do it.

You don't get pissy and ask, "Why aren't we having sex?", because You Don't Give A Fuck. Fucking her is something you want but it isn't the only thing you want and not even the best thing you want.

If she refuses ever again then simply say, "That's cool babe. I'm not hungry so I'm going to go to the gym and afterwards have a beer with my college friends. Don't wait up for me. Love ya'. Bye."

In psychology this is called "extinction". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extinction_%28psychology%29

She knows that sex is the way to control the relationship and by denying you sex she intuits that she can get you to work harder and give her more. She is training you like a Pavlovian dog to salivate every time she rings a bell.

She may not and probably doesn't know she's doing this. It's a learned behavior and she probably got it from watching her mother and father interact.

Extinction means you don't give her the desired response. You give her nothing. That is, you leave and there is an absence of interaction.

If you were to get angry and fight or threaten or break something then that would be somewhere along the lines of "punishment" which is another conditioning method.

You don't want to punish because that damages the relationship. But extinction by leaving and doing something else instead is more subtle and has fewer negative potentials.

That said, I want to caution you. A woman will marry the man she wants and then convince him to work harder and harder. Then one day she divorces him because he spends all his time at work and she doesn't even know him anymore.

That's where you wife is going to drive you if you let her. Find a balance between your work, your marriage, and yourself. If you don't you will create self-esteem issues within yourself. When that happens she will move to fill the power vacuum when you become weaker with self-esteem problems.

And she will hate you for it. Sooner or later she will realize you are weak and she is strong and then it's divorce time.

And I know this is already mentioned but you have to have your head checked for marrying a lawyer. I hope you've got a good prenuptial and have agreed to split all expenses 50/50.

In fact, if you propose this now it will probably mitigate her problems with how much money you make. The reasoning is that if you make more then she gets more. But if you split everything then when you make more that's your money (after family expenses). She gains nothing if you make more because that's your money. Therefore, psychologically her pussy won't shut down.

Why? Because you have all this money that she doesn't get but still wants to get ahold of. If you reward her every time she fucks you like crazy with a little gift or a new pair of shoes then you are now "rewarding" good behavior. Since it's your money and she can't feel entitled to it then to her this is all gravy and a good relationship.

Or put another way. A man can't be generous when generosity is compelled. By marrying she already owns you. That was your choice and not a good one by the way. Therefore, she feels entitled to your money and therefore you really have no leverage.

If you buy her gifts with your income then that's nice but techically she's entitled so it's nothing she has to reciprocate.

If you buy her gift's with your income and you both have separate finances and keep the extra after marital expenses then that is you being generous. It is extra and she is compelled to be appreciative to you.

[–][deleted] 5 points5 points

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[–]Jttoo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Fucking WoW....

Classic BP man-rape hamstering unfolding before our eyes....

I'm relatively new here, but holy shit is this something to see. With all the red flags waving in this guy's face, he still wants to walk that isle and shackle himself to misery.

[–]EdmondDaunts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My friend, she is correct. You must do more.

Just not with her in your life.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]Rodion-Raskolnikov 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Everybody is telling you to drop this bitch and they are right. If it takes over a thousand replies in this thread to get the message through so be it.

[–]SteveChiefy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get away from her and don't ever stop like you're running from the cops. Read the dudes post about her working in law. You are fucked man. Take back all emotional investment, this Bitch is about to ruin your soul. You can learn how this goes the easy way or the hard way. The hardway will take away 5-10 years of your life and then some if she for after your money or gets pregnant.

[–]steelerfaninperu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Allow me to join the chorus of people saying "RED ALERT, CODE 10 ABORT!"

Between two people, $120k+ is more than enough for a decent living unless you're stuck in a very high COL area like Orange County or NYC. If she isn't satisfied with that she's never going to be satisfied.

I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically

And this is why we never confess our weaknesses to a woman. Women pounce on weakness, they do not console it. They want their weaknesses to be comforted. They want you to kiss their boo-boo. The minute you flip it around is the minute they realize they can devour your intestines and shit you out.

[–]SureImShore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have seen this same fucking post from you multiple times, both on here and asktrp.

How much advice do you need? Why do you continue to believe things will change? What THE FUCK is wrong with you?

I give up. Enjoy a continued miserable life, which will only get worse once you're married. I can't wait for the post 18 months from now about how she's fucking some other dude and taking half of your shit. Have fun.

[–]Sdom1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DO NOT MARRY THIS GIRL. You need to break it off now. Hear me out:

For a woman, her engagement period and wedding day is quite literally the happiest time of her life. She will never be more into you than she is right now. THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS. This is the pinnacle of your relationship. Just think about that. It will only get worse.

If you don't think she loves you now, just you wait. If you marry this woman, you will regret it the rest of your life.

[–]FramedInRed 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I have to disagree with everyone here. I say go for it! Marry your unicorn!

You're clearly not RP if you have to ask questions like this. What you're in for in the next 5-10 years will cram the red pill so far down your throat it'll never come back up. We call it the price of admission. Everyone has their own price they paid to find this place and internalize the pill.

[–]Syberion01 5 points6 points  (3 children)

You know the interesting part about this, is that her respect for you would go up 5000x if you just dump her after she tells you this garbage

[–]Moneyley 5 points6 points  (0 children)

WHOA SHIT! WE ARE BUYING REAL ESTATE

CANCEL THE FUCK OUTTA THIS!! Most jurisdictions can see this as a representation of marriage. Cancel the real estate transaction ASAP! Do NOT BETATHAFUCK outta this and tell her first. She may be doing a lot of things right now without telling you. Remove yourself from any real estate purchases, or make sure that you are describing yourself as having a mutual interest in the property with another buyer. Overall, get out, take a hit on the credit, its a small price to pay. Cant believe this was overlooked!

[–]TRPhd 3 points4 points  (1 child)

"I guess that makes you a whore then. Whores fuck for money, you said you'd fuck me for more money, ergo, you are a whore. Get the fuck out of my house, whore."

Besides, lawyer women are known problems. Google around for stories of men married to lawyers; you will find plenty of material for your worst nightmares. You are in for some serious shit if you don't call it off. "One thing you can never say is that you haven't been told." https://youtu.be/bzVeLjj6Ao8?t=226

[–]Janus_Fawkes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A hundred other replies already said it: Leave her. NOW. That is some cold shit...how can you be in love someone and say something like that? When you're not in love. Look how bold she is. She thinks she has you so wrapped around her finger, that she can say something like that without repercussions? Fuck. No. Imagine if the situation was reversed. Any woman with a shred of self respect would dump your ass.

Sex is an expression of connection and feelings two people share...if it's transactional, it's bust.

[–]RUSTY_LEMONADE 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Money for sex? There's a word for that.

[–]RealityBitesU 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If you marry this woman, you deserve the inevitable misery that your life will become. Unlike most men, you actually got the ugly truth at point blank range before the wedding and kids started to show up (although you should have picked up on the fact that she makes you feel worse about yourself, which isn't the sign of a healthy relationship).

Don't fucking marry this woman. With that one comment she has demonstrated her poisonous contempt for you, her expectation that you will exist for her benefit, and that she will be a complete goddamn icy shrew.

You've been warned. Ironically, the only thing you could really do to actually make her respect you (which she does not) is kicking her to the fucking curb immediately.

[–]helix6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Calling off an engagement is a difficult choice, but can be a life-saver. I did it at 26 and it was a rough go. Looking back, I'm thankful every day. Fortunately my dad was extremely wise and did some Inception on me placing the seeds of doubt about this chick. Looking back there were red flags galore, I just needed a little bit of help to see them.

Your fiancee just made that red flag into a burning hot stop signal for you. You will be a little busted up on the way out, but you will be broken if you go through with this.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

 

If a woman tells a man what to do she is leading.

If a man follows that woman he is a beta.

Beta is not a life worth living.

 

[–]idgaf- 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I love it. How many ways can it be said to run like hell from a girl? They're all in this thread.

Tell her that after what she said, you can only see her as a whore, trading sex for money. And you can't live thinking you married a whore. Yeah that'll make sure you go out with as much damage as possible.

[–]gsfw2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

why the fuck would you marry this bitch smh

[–]tclearinghouse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am going to bookmark this post and whenever I think my life is bad I am going to come back and re-read this story and see just how bad it COULD be.

[–]aman27deep 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not a red pill guy, but I like reading all the opinions from everyone.

You don't need to be a RPer to understand you'll make a mistake by marrying this woman.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jesus, biggest red flag in the book

[–]greatmikeshark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If she is saying this to you now and your not even married. Dump her now!

[–]somarain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling this wasn't labeled "blue pill" when he posted it. lmao

[–]bowie747 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well obviously because men and women are equal partners in everything maybe she could consider taking the responsibility of earning mor-

oh..wait..that's not how it works?..ok

Make like Forest Gump OP

[–]JohnnySkidmarx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man, you are in for a miserable life if you marry her. Re-think marrying her

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

The more I read here the more I smell a troll. If you are for real then you are a whiny beta bitch. I hope she does marry you, dicorce rapes you and has a kid with Chad.

Waaah waaah, I paid for the wedding. I bought a honeymoon. Well go on the honeymoon by yourself or take a hooker if you have to. This post makes me sick to my stomach. You read red pill everybday - bullshit. You are a blue pill as it gets.

[–]skulk2fade 23 points24 points  (53 children)

Hey guys so some more info. I remember her telling me her mum told Her the woman isn't meant to want sex and the man always has to be the one to ask for it, I think she basically told me she was told to use it as a tool.

The thing about the marriage is lots it's like all the $$$thousands we have already spent, the disappointment of my parents and lots of stuff. I feel pretty shit at the moment like I wouldn't be happy single and would likely move Into my parents and now we got land and stuff tied up in both our names, ugh it's hard/

I was just so shocked to hear the comment about money, makes me feel so low and pathetic like not even my wife wants me, that's how unattractive i am.

Fyi when we first met all her friends were jealous because we would have sex 3 times a day everyday -_-

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (2 children)

more excuses...

she will divorce rape you because you're a bitch. stop being a bitch.

[–]don_pel 19 points20 points  (1 child)

This. You think she is different?

There is nothing her mom can tell her that would prevent her from jumping on chad's dick if the opportunity arises.

Understand that the problem is you, not her.

[–]2Occams_Shiv 47 points48 points  (0 children)

makes me feel so low and pathetic like not even my wife wants me, that's how unattractive i am.

How you feel now, is how you will feel for the rest of your life if you marry this woman. Ask yourself if that's that you want your life to be.

At 28, you are too old to worry overly much that your parents will be disappointed. My bet is that they will support you more than you think. If they don't, it doesn't matter.

[–]Endorsed ContributorStories_of_Red 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Wow. The male hamster on display, fellas. Ugly sight, isn't it.

OP, you came here knowing what the advice would be. You got it. Make your decision now, and live with the consequences. When your marriage is just more of this crap, don't blame her, don't blame her mom, don't blame society, don't blame your kids.

You are to blame. You choose this life.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I really don't think this one is going to be salvageable. Even before I read comment number one I knew this schlub was gonna rationalize everything about the "money already spent".

One time, I bought a "fixer upper" 2002 Yamaha R1. About $2000 into the rebuild (labor, motor, new wheels/tires, etc,) I realized that the fairings weren't lining up correctly. Took it to a shop only to find out that the frame was bent, meaning to finish the bike would cost more than it would end up being worth. So I scrapped the build.

[–]RedPimpin 19 points20 points  (0 children)

stop hamstering

I think she basically told me she was told to use it as a tool.

we would have sex 3 times a day everyday

dump her, take your losses and move on

what are $50k when your future life is on the line here?

I wouldn't be happy single

you're also not happy now, this woman sucks the life out of you like you said right here

makes me feel so low and pathetic like not even my wife wants me, that's how unattractive i am.

start to think rational about it, run while you can!!!

[–][deleted] 19 points19 points

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[–]Robx9001 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Shut up and dump her. You are miserable now and it will only get worse if you marry her.

[–]1mrust 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sunk cost fallacy (Google it). You are invested in the relationship and she is already making you jump through hoops. Also, you are opening up to her about your insecurities which will turn her pussy into the Sahara. You are getting as much sex as you will EVER get from her. Expect it to drop to once a month and then once every six months.

Your first paragraph is a red flag. She is a lawyer - that is 2. She is telling you she needs you to make more money, that's three.

Do you know why she needs you to earn more money? So that she can retire, and then divorce rape you.

It will never be easier to walk away from this toxic relationship than right now.

[–]its-iceman 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You are being such a little bitch about all of this. Good god. It's your life, you only get to do this shit once and then you die.

Don't spend it with this self-obsessed harpy who doesn't give a shit about you. You're going to look back on feeling awkward and embarrassed about the wedding with so much regret.

[–]this_guy2001 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well, she totally used those tricks on you. She hooked you in with the sex and now you have to pay to play. It's funny.

As for divorce, I don't know if she'll totally divorce rape you since she will be making money as well; however, you will probably give her all your shit anyway. The way I see it, she's going to meet some rich dude or someone with status and dump your ass. Then she'll have you believe it was somehow your fault.

One thing, I do sort of agree with is that you should be making more money than her unless you have something else to bargain with, for example: muscles, bad-ass car, big cock, etc. Basically, something your woman can brag about. If you have nothing for her to brag about, she may not need you. This is how a lot of women see it.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 9 points10 points  (3 children)

The thing about the marriage is lots it's like all the $$$thousands we have already spent

This is called the Sunken Cost Fallacy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_costs

And if you think you're out $$$thousands now, just wait until she tires of you and divorces you (or, starves you of sex for enough years that you finally divorce her, either way, she wins in court). You haven't seen anything yet.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The $$$thousands you've already spent are much, much, MUCH less than what you'll lose in a divorce.

And do you know what's more expensive than divorce? Marriage. Being married to someone is fucking expensive. Women spend a lot of money.

And if you have kids? Kids cost an arm and a leg.

And THEN when she divorces you after spending all of your money as your wife, and after birthing a couple of kids? You'll have nothing. We're not going to read your sob story here, because you're going to have put a bullet in your head by then, if you can even afford bullets.

[–]Jttoo 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Cancel everything! Take a break from this woman, disentangle your life from hers, get some perspective on life.

You say you lurk here and are still going forward with all this?

Really? WTF man, get a hold on yourself.

Take a time out. There is every reason not to rush into marriage at your age.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If OP lurks here as often as he says he does, then he's already seen all of the littered corpses of men fucked over in divorce. Yet here he is, lining up to become the next corpse.

[–]ImHereAtLast 7 points7 points [recovered]

She's probably cheating on you...

[–]SteveChiefy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Control yourself. You think your ancestors of old would have acted like this? Stop being a push over. Cling to your guns and stick to your holster. Be single in your 30s, workout and make 80+ a year with that degree coming up and just be happy alone. Once you can be happy alone then think about a long term relationship.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

who gives a fuck?

run away

[–]1PrinceofSpades 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stop reading this subreddit and start doing the things it tells you. It sounds like you want to ignore everyone here and be a beta bux provider because you're already comfortable being one. You need to man the fuck up. Go March up to your fiancé and tell her you want HER to make YOU proud. Then I want you to start having sex with her. Don't fucking ask to have sex. Just start making out and getting handsy and be dominant for once in your miserable life. Don't you fucking stop until she gives you the safety word; I can almost guarantee she'll instead be asking you what's gotten into you because you finally gave her some tingles again.

I can't remember the last time I've ever asked for sex. A plate came over During the weekend and we fucked 11 times in 24 hours, including butt stuff. Bragging about 3 times a day? I have a girl who comes over just to get tied up and call me sir while I treat her like an object. I didn't ask once what I could do, I just did. I took her and used her whenever I wanted and she fucking loved it. Welcome to the reality about your fiancé ~6-10 years ago.

You are the beta bux. Learn to be the alpha bux, or start over, get your life properly together with a solid degree and a younger girl who will meet your needs, and be happy. Your current route leads to a divorce and you aren't even married yet. That's on YOU, because you come off like a bitch. This isn't a place for you to seek a shoulder to cry on and be told everything will be OK. If I saw you in real life and you started talking to me like that I'd hit you so hard in the gut it wouldn't be funny, before telling you to grow the fuck up. Then I'd laugh at you before giving you a hand up and laughing with you over a beer. She's just a girl. She's nothing special. You want her, then man the fuck up. Stop talking and just go do things. Go to the gym after work, come home, shower, fuck her without talking to her, then go to sleep. Watch how cuddly she gets afterwards.

[–]alkme_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I cannot stop upvoting the advice in this thread in an attempt to shock you and wake you up. You're 28, you still have so much life to live and so many other beautiful women to meet. If you marry this woman you are going to be: hanging at the end of a rope, a hopeless alcoholic attached to your cheating wife, or completely broke at 40 wondering what happened to your life, completely torn apart by your own lack of foresight. We are trying to help you!!!!

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