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Update wife used restraining order to steal my life and kid. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by thegr8b8m8

[removed]


[–]Modredpillschool[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (6 children)

Removed while discussing policy with mods.

[–]EarthExile 380 points380 points [recovered]

This is exactly what my mother did to my father. He's a gentle, thoughtful man who never raised a hand to any of us, he used to go into the bathroom for more than an hour to 'read' just to hide from her. He takes pleasure in his life- he likes comic books and Conan novels, he does fraud prevention for a bank, and on the weekends, he participates in parking-lot wrestling with a bunch of other 40 year olds who want to be Randy Savage. He's a friendly dork.

But when she took him to court, she described a menacing, always-on-the-edge-of-violence, shadow over the household. (Which is what my mother actually was) Instead of being kind of distracted and daydreamy, he was 'withdrawn' and 'cold'. Instead of going to the gym so he could lose weight and look good in his Green Lantern shirt, he was 'bulking up' and 'getting scary'.

The lawyers interviewed me and my three siblings- I was an older teenager at the time, so I laid it all out. I told them he was a nice, kind of goofy guy, and that my mother was an absolute horror. I told them the only fun times we ever had as a family were when she wasn't around. He would light up and grin the second her car pulled out of the driveway, play with my siblings and I and our pets, and bake cookies. He'd talk to me about science and the nature of God. I told them she was lying and frightening and I didn't want my sisters to grow up around her.

I was of course completely disregarded. My youngest sister turns eighteen soon, and he will finally be off the child support hook. Out of beta altruism, he gave my mother all of the equity from my childhood home, so she would have enough money to move us in somewhere nice. She moved the five of us into a two-bedroom apartment, which had an unfinished basement I shared with my brother. I could hear the guys I never met fucking her, through the floorboards, all the time. Sometimes a guy would come over and she'd just give away things my father had worked for and loved. I had to help Jose load our treadmill into his truck, never saw that dude again. Miguel only came over to drink.

I don't have anything to offer you but my sympathy and this advice: Fight for every last scrap of what is yours. The world will be against you, our government will be against you, and the zeitgeist will be against you. Fuck them. Don't try to be nice like my poor father. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

[–]ziggitypumziggitypim 118 points119 points  (23 children)

This made me rage hard. I feel really bad for your old man.

[–]1EarthExile 165 points166 points  (22 children)

He's doing better now. Instead of 4 kids he's paying for one, and that ends soon. He lives with a cool lady who treats him like a man and enjoys the things he does for fun. That's the second part of the story: A woman can't completely destroy you, if you have the will to keep living and create a life for yourself.

[–]Dustin_Bromain 54 points55 points  (11 children)

Holy shit man. I'm so glad that he's doing better now. And I'm glad to see you here as well.

[–]pianodude4 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Do your other siblings know what your mother did and love their father? I would hate for them to think he left them when he loved you guys. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves to have all of his children's love.

[–]1EarthExile 51 points52 points  (4 children)

My brother and I know what's up. My sisters were younger, and when it was all happening they couldn't really process it. And of course, once my father was gone and my brother and I had fled the scene, mom's whole personality mutated. She had her two daughters and all the troublesome, needy men were gone.

So my sisters had much happier, more supportive teen years than my brother and I. I can't really blame them for still loving her, they had a much better time than me and they can't know any better. There were a couple of doors and a hallway between their bedroom and my mother's whore-bed, whereas my brother and I got to listen through the basement ceiling.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 27 points28 points  (0 children)

As a former teenage unfinished basement dweller due to a conniving mother, my condolences. The best revenge is living well.

[–]IronMeltsinmyHands 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would honestly never speak to your mother again. And if I ever get the chance, if I were you, I would sock her in her jaw so hard, I can claim her teeth for a necklace.

I hate feeling like this. But I can't help it.

[–]marplaneit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How didn't you go crazy and beated the fuck out of your mom? GOSH, I admire you I am pretty sure I would have kicked my mom out of the house literally.

[–]The_Red_Paw 3 points4 points  (2 children)

The best revenge is to live your life well.

[–]TyPerfect 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I always found that if you take a sentimental tone and tell them just how sorry you are that they fucked up their life so badly that you can really steam them without being the asshole.

[–]eddiae 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah... dont be like your father

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 64 points65 points  (16 children)

This is why this shit is real. Beta men invite not only suffering onto themselves, but onto their kids as well. You can be a great dad, a loving man, intelligent, thoughtful, and basically everything that makes parents what they are - but you have to be hard too, you have to fight to the last for every scrap, and play to win.

The courts rely upon your complicity when they try to destroy you. You have to play the game like you're Kobe to not lose.

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (1 child)

My father was RP.

She framed him, called the police same story. It's not just the preserve of the meek and stupid. He had a good lawyer all the rest of it, doesn't matter when courts and law enforcement are against you.

Don't get married guys and if you do, audio record every room.

[–]Endorsed ContributorClint_Redwood 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Someone should make a system that audio records every room and catalogs it by date and runs 24/7.

Call it, "Bat Shit Crazy Wife Protection System" course you'd have to subtract the Wife part for Spouse for the bullpills. My mother was the same way as /u/EarthExile minus listening to the guys fuck her.

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 19 points20 points  (8 children)

This shit is very real and it really doesn't matter if you know game or not because women are unpredictable due to there emotional shit and trying to tame that will only last so long.

[–]foldpak111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only thing left to do is wait for the robo-ho to come out and make $ in the meantime to be able to afford said robo-ho.

[–]FiveLions 5 points6 points  (6 children)

So, are you going to message the mods on your credentials for this? Because, If you start up a kickstarter, I have no problem throwing 25 bucks. you get a couple hundred on here to donate...You're pretty much already there.

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points

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[–]FiveLions 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Hey man, I appreciate the link. But for the love of God, cover up your name in Windows Paint...This is serious!! Also, take your Outlook link down it has your full name. Whether you know it or not, you have said things on here that could be used against you

What if a Feminazi caught wind of this and painted it all over (R)relationships or twoxxchromosomes?

You need to fly under the radar. You can create a Gofundme very easily. I'm going to bed, but I'll help you with it tomorrow. Please take down your name, for your sake and so I can get restfull nights sleep without worrying about this.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THIS x10000000000000000000000

[–]opening_eyes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His email address seems pretty unanonymous as well.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Brother, I got you.

Women don't give a fuck. The courts don't give a fuck. Society doesn't give a fuck. But we do. I do.

Post a link from an https legitimate site for donations and I'll pitch in.

[–]foldpak111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a good chunk of money set aside. I'm already helping out a buddy in person who is basically going through the same shit but I'll see what I can do.

[–]muddynips 8 points9 points  (1 child)

This is the saddest rp truth I've come to accept. Goodness will not ever be enough to protect me or my children from their own mother.

[–]Redasshole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Goodness is a luxury most people cant afford.

[–]foldpak111 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You have to be relentless and ruthless. I take it to the point where I'll martyr myself for what I believe in. I get a lot of satisfaction in knowing that some loser whore looking for a handout will get nothing from me. I am more powerful than the government because I'm willing to walk away from it all. If they got me in a corner I'll just off myself. She gets nothing.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. Dad can blame the mom for being a bitch, but he carries an enormous amount of responsibility for letting her walk all over him. Just because she's a bitch, doesn't mean he can't do everything in his power. Original thread OP is doing the right thing by trying to fight her.

[–]RPRedhead 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Orders for Protection ("Restraining Orders") are a disgusting way to destroy someone's life. The smallest hint of roughness or financial control can remove someone (almost always the man) from their house and their kids lives.

And judges rarely dismiss them because who wants to be liable if someone gets hurt?

So whole generations of kids grow up without fathers resulting in the whiny, entitled, spineless, navel-gazing youth of today. Brilliant social engineering forced on you by feminism!

[–]foldpak111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One step closer to communism, what the femi's always wanted. All that is left to accomplish after that is fascism.

[–]tclearinghouse 22 points23 points  (0 children)

At least you spoke up for him in his time of need, that was all you could do. Good for you seeing what kind of woman your mother was.

[–]Veritas_potissimum 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This reminds my of the behaviour of my aunt's husband. My aunt is a real cunty type who became absolutely unbearable as she reached her 60s. Her husband made enough money as a physician so that she left work in her 50s and focused on spending his money on clothes. This man also put three children through advanced education and even bought a business for one of them. Now all this taking place in a country where beta bucks are the norm and rewarded you would think everything was fucking dandy. But no, AWALT and she slowly eroded this man's confidence and he spent upwards of 12hrs a day away from home, either doing work, or in his clinic reading(now in his 70s). Fucking women don't even mellow out so never drop your frame even after decades of marriage.

[–]winterequinox007 10 points11 points  (7 children)

I almost turn soft some days. But it is stories like yours that keep me going on; that the world is a fucked up place. You must never go easy, because you can definitely be sure that other will not.

[–]1EarthExile 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Sometimes I wonder why it took me so long to find this sub. It's the first time I've heard anyone make any sense of so much of the madness I've seen. Maybe the new feminism is so powerful because so many people are only raised by their mothers. Maybe I only see it because I knew my mother as a whore first, parent second, and nurturing mother never.

I've internalized so many things that seemed like horseshit but they sounded right and everyone liked the sound of them so I went with it. I was taught to hold women up on a pedestal, but also that they're the same as me, and that they can do anything I can do, in fact they can do anything better than me, and they're more mature, and smarter, and more in touch with the Earth, and more nurturing, and less violent, and that no matter what, she'll always be your mother. If I said any of that wasn't true, or sounded unfair, I was the one with the problem. I feel insane sometimes, like I'm the only one who never had this mess of paradox and accepted lies explained to them.

What I AM is the problem, to them. My core, my nature. This filthy meat that I was born into. So I drive a car made by men, on streets made by men, past buildings made by men, see monuments to the great men of the past, and echoing in my ears the whole time is "Men are dumb brutes and the world would be run better without them."

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

We built this entire world. Why did we give it away?

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

White guilt and pussy.

[–]Dreams_In_Digital 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learned a long time ago that the majority agree with you; they just don't want to waste the energy fighting these bitches.

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be independent don't be like me. I found out about the nature of women to late. But I will rebuild my life some how.

[–]foldpak111 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And people wonder why I hate women. These little cunts can get rocked. I'll never live with a bitch and I'm seriously considering MGTOW because my job has us out in the middle of nowhere for months at a time so I got introduced to MGTOW involuntarily. Life was so simple and all the money I made was mine to do whatever with. If I was with a bitch I'd have 20% after she got done with it. So many guys I know have been destroyed by a bitch.

Fuck women and I don't give a fuck what happens to them. Go fuck off to Omaha sector of Normandy and get a good taste of equality.

Edit: About random guys coming over to fuck your slut mother... I've been there, same situation. Most of the guys were dickheads. I like knowing that if I ever met them again I could stunt all over them in every way. Make more money, get hotter chicks, physically more dominant, etc.

Oh and I just read my post and it's pretty dark. Sorry guys I've been on an oil rig for the past 5 months and haven't slept in 3 days. I will sleep tonight, though.

[–]1EarthExile 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't hate women because my mother was a terrible one. I just understand instinctively that they don't automatically belong on a pedestal because of their gender, and I've seen the way our culture destroys men in these situations.

[–]Vigilo_Infinite 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I'm a firm believer in preventative medicine and think we gotta educate guys to soul sucking harpies.

Sorry for the stream of questions but I gotta ask;

Was there a turning point from you mother? Outside of plausible deniability, did your dad actually do anything wrong/worthy of her resentment? Do you know if they were ever actually happy together?

[–]1EarthExile 9 points10 points  (1 child)

By all accounts she was a rotten bitch from day one. I know how it went down. They were on staff together at a summer camp, and she was probably the first girl to pay attention to him. And when they were just getting serious (i.e. when my father probably started realizing he should get out) my maternal grandfather came down with a horrible wasting illness. There were no other men in my mother's family, so my father became captain save-a-ho at seventeen and my grandfather died in his arms. Shortly after that she got pregnant, and they got married before I was born. He was 20.

It's a goddamn tragedy when I think about it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Every dude I know who is with some cunt wife is always cool as fuck. Like the absolute nicest, most out going and coolest dude to have around. Their biggest weakness is feeling the need to save some bitch. She always comes from poverty and he always takes care of her.

[–]Redasshole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Who is the dumbass who paid reddit gold instead of giving this money to op?

[–]diamondscribe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a Battlecry. May we all heed this.

[–]harami_number1 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Why was your testimony not taken into account?

[–]warjesus420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus man......stories like this make me so angry and sad at the same time. Sounds like your father was a great guy. Glad you got molded in your younger years from him before your mom could take you all away.

[–]lakalahehe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The zeitgest? You mean the robocracy post scarcity computerized socialism?

[–]1EarthExile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it's an old word that sort of means "spirit of the times". The general public feeling. It's another way of saying the overton window.

[–]Frost30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes me lose even more trust into women...and this was back when you were a kid. Can't imagine what it's like now compared to back then in terms of how much more often this is happening. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. He didn't deserve any of that and you and your siblings should've been raised by a better parent and role model.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 106 points107 points  (21 children)

What a crock of shit.

Judge: "What's your defense?"

Fuck you. Where's the evidence? When did this alleged attack occur? Where at? What time? Bruises, scrapes or cuts? Bloody weapons with my finger prints? Camera footage?

I don't have to prove a god damn thing.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

while that would be nice, you know perfectly well that is not how it would work , at least in the short term.

[–]94redstealth 21 points22 points  (8 children)

Its a shame he couldn't say that.

[–]Emporian 23 points23 points [recovered]

This is fucking ridicoulus.

It's not innocent until proven guilty, it's guilty until proven innocent.

Just imagine that shit, you're home reading some book on stoicism, suddenly a knock on the door and the police comes in "We found your DNA in your ex-gf's room, she claimes she was abused at home and doesn't know who the assailant was, I need to take you with me Sir. Until you're proven innocent, you're guilty. " Just what the actual fuck.

[–][deleted] 15 points15 points

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[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 4 points5 points  (1 child)

They are different legal standards. The criminal standard is "beyond a reasonable doubt." The family law standard is "clear and convincing evidence." The latter is much more lenient.

The family law standard is not "clear and convincing" but preponderance (51% proven).

The most important standard OP needs to know about is "best interests of the child."

[–]chukb2012 8 points9 points  (1 child)

In family law it is guilty until proven innocent. Every scum bag lawyer knows this and will use this against you. I recently lost my kids to my ex wife because she claimed i had porn on my computer, i wasnt feeding my children the 4 days a month i get them, and they were losing weight, and that i had coached my son on how to misbehave towards her. My son oldest son is 15 now. My youngest is 8. I lost everything, but 1% of my custody, and my child support tripled. They also stated that i was making $45,000 a year, and i even had proof that i was only making $34k. The judge favored her case. Now i can barely afford half of $400 a month rent, and am struggling to feed me and my 3 year old daughter. (different moms). All of my debt has gone into collections.. It's a fucking mess. Anyways. Good luck man.

[–]marplaneit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Move the FUCK AWAY from USA for god sake you are fucking slave!

[–]foldpak111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reverse the genders and you would've never heard your front door knock. Faggot fuckin' white knight police.

[–]94redstealth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for real, those have been my exact words for years.

we are a land of guilty people fighting to prove our innocence on a daily basis.

[–]Ojisan1 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Unfortunately it's not a criminal case so the burden of proof is irrelevant. It all comes down to these insane judges and their own personal biases, when it comes to family courts. There's not a lot that you can do, you can't win, the best you can hope for is a draw. OP probably has a long fight ahead of him, I'm sad to say.

A buddy of mine went through similar, it took him over a year to get shared custody of his infant son. That's a year of his kid's life that he can't get back, you know?

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 13 points14 points  (4 children)

If you watch Divorce Corp, you'll see footage of men firing Ak47's at the Family Court court/lawyer offices for divorce raping them and kidnapping their children. Good.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I worked near three courthouses in a major city. One of them was a civil court, historic old building. They had serious matters going on there but the place was usually very friendly. The judge would crack wise a bit when screening jurors when appropriate. The security were all really friendly and would engage in small talk when they had downtime. It was ok to feel comfortable.

Next door was the criminal court. Not so much a historic building. Everything was more serious. There were people on murder and rape cases. People were cordial but there was very limited small talk, no cracking wise. Security was more involved. Especially if it was a busy day.

Near them was the family court. It looked like a prison. There was a wall around the entire building and armed guards everywhere. Security was tight. There was absolutely no sense of humor or comfort. All doors were locked and needed to be opened by the armed guards when moving around. It was a place where they were obviously expecting violence.

[–]1AmlanceJockey 5 points6 points  (2 children)

In some states admission to the bar confers automatic ccw privileges. Says a lot about what kind of work they do.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 5 points6 points  (1 child)

In other states, just not being a felon confers ccw privledges.

[–]BleauGumms 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude, you can be ARRESTED just by HEARSAY when it comes to domestic violence. Even if the hearsay is from a third party that wasn't even fucking there. Nevermind the fucking fact that that is against the US Constitution. The legal system is so fucked in this country. Now you know why there are MGTOWs.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You must have this country confused for one that actually gives a damn. Talk to a judge with anything but bowing, scraping, and begging tone and it is all over for him.

[–]Dopebear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Evidence? The woman is crying so everything she's claiming must be 100% true.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 119 points120 points  (12 children)

Stickied as an action opportunity for our community at large.

PM me some info that can corroborate your story and I'll see what we can do.

[–]Codex_Dev 15 points16 points  (9 children)

Perhaps he can setup some kind of kickstarter? It might help him with attorney fees.

[–]Obi_Wan_can_blow_me 18 points19 points  (7 children)

Shit, I would throw some extra cash his way. I'm not sure how that will play out in court tho. If he is somehow affiliated with TRP it might work against him.

[–]Tamnaeuth 13 points14 points  (6 children)

If story is legit I think kickstarter or go fund me is a good idea, few people giving a few bucks

[–]dawson203 8 points9 points  (3 children)

The OP should start a kickstarter campaign the sooner the better and post a link here. We can all chip to help out.

[–]bboy1977 15 points15 points [recovered]

No, he shouldn't. He should wait until after divorce is final and on the books. During discovery, his wife's attorney is going to ask OP for all his financials and guess who is going to be asking for 50% when they see all this cash flowing in.

[–]Dopebear 3 points4 points  (1 child)

50%? You mean 75%+ for dem kids

And while yes money will/can help, OP more importantly needs a good lawyer and good advice. A fool with money is no good.

[–]MyRedAccount 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IIRC kickstarter you only get to keep the money if you reach the goal whereas gofundme you get to keep it regardless. Might be wise to investigate what their cuts and stuff are too.

[–]Magictonay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If story is legit

I agree with this point first and foremost - confirm whether or not the story is real and then set up a gofundme page.

[–]redolas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Upvote for checking out the story. TRP should not be a gathering place for "Nigerian princes". A fellow man we help out gladly, but let's check what we're doing. I'm not saying it's a trap, but it could be; or it could open the door to one.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You're a dear, helping him out like that! Amazing community!

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 88 points89 points  (11 children)

You need a lawyer.

I'll explain what I'm seeing, and perhaps someone who's experienced with divorce in your state can offer more in depth info.

1) They are trying extra hard to get you to bite because they know they don't have any evidence of abuse. They are constantly going to contact you and try to rile you in different ways; this is a common strategy to unhinge you and provoke some kind of emotional response, which they can use as evidence of you being angry or however they plan to make their case. You cannot bite.

Be very civil, very polite. You are fucked if you do not get a good lawyer. Your wife has likely been planning this for a while - she lined up her lawyer, planned out the protection order, planned out how she was going to villify you. So you are WAY behind; do what you can to get more time. They are going to see this taking a toll on you and keep up the pressure to reach a quick decision; they know that MANY men decide that it's too stressful and harrowing, so they settle away their lives to get to move on. You have to get your time and stay clear mentally.

2) Get a lawyer who wins in divorce court. If there's a feminist lawyer who can clearly take stock of your situation and help you get what you want, and her track record is good, choose her. You don't need a MRA lawyer, you need a WINNER. You're not trying to win a social battle, you're trying to win a DIRTY battle.

3) See what the lawyer proposes about your house and money. You should not be cut off from all your money - if she's spent your joint account, not much you can do, but if she's done something like taking your credit cards or change account information to block you out, there might be legal recourse. IANAL which is why you need some goddamn proper counsel.

4) Beg for the money from family / friends if you need to. You need a good lawyer, it will save you more than you will lose. Get the best you can afford. Get the money. If you don't, she everything anyway.

[–]diggy_dee 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Every word of this is solid advice.

The most important part is point #1, and it's why you need to keep your mouth shut and have no contact until you have a lawyer. Let the lawyer talk for you.

[–]Hamilton950B 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Heed no. 2. Get a feminist lawyer who wins.

I have a friend who went through a divorce, nothing as bad as OP but there was a fair amount of money involved. He got the most famous, most butch, most feminist woman lawyer in town. This was a woman we all knew and would have nothing to do with (it was a small town). We were appalled that he would even talk to this woman, much less hire her. When he came out of the trial relatively unscathed, we understood.

[–]aazav 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Get a lawyer who wins in divorce court.

How do you get ahold of a lawyer's track record to know who wins?

How do you go about that?

[–]jimmyb207 2 points3 points  (5 children)

If there's a feminist lawyer who can clearly take stock of your situation and help you get what you want, and her track record is good, choose her.

Why choose a feminist woman lawyer? What do they have over a good man lawyer? I ask because I know two guys who had woman lawyers and they both got completely fucked.

[–]aazav 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Why choose a feminist woman lawyer?

Because she knows how her own kind wages war.

[–]Realworld 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thotwrecker is right. Family Court serves and respects women, not men. You need an aggressive female attorney with a winning track record in Family Court.

I was Washington State DSHS case worker and Support Enforcement Officer for 5 years. Watching Family Court in action scared me badly. I like kids, but got vasectomy while single and in my 20s purely to immunize myself from Family Court. Family Court is unbelievably skewed against fathers. You need every possible advantage going forward.

However, it does have to be the right female lawyer. I've watched some female attorneys cheerfully sign off on horrible custody and support orders. When you interview for an attorney choose one that lays out firm sequence of defense and attack, not one offering you bland reassurances.

[–]Azurenightsky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"If you know the Enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear a thousand battles."-Sun Tzu

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not "over" a male lawyer. Choose the best candidate for the job. One advantage female lawyers do have is they can do a better job garnering sympathy and un-demonizing the male party. They have likely lynched males before, so they know exactly how it's done. But just go with whoever seems best.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where the fuck were your when I needed this advice 10 years ago.... on the bright side, thanks for helping out OP. This advice is a fuckton better than what I did.

[–]dawson203 27 points28 points  (8 children)

May I suggest a kickstarter campaign to raise some funds for his legal defense? The men's right group is huge, if we all chip in just a little (price for a cup of coffee) we can save a fellow bro.

brosbeforehoes

[–]Tamnaeuth 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I think that's a great idea 1000 people give a few dollars each and he will be in a much better position

[–]MoreTreesPleaseBro 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I think it should be set up in a way that the money is not actually going to OP so that his soon to be ex wife can't try to take her cut from the donations

[–]FiveLions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He can create an llc with someone else as the owner. Someone he trusts like a blood relative. There's your stop-gap. We can make someone in charge of his go find me, in order to direct it into the business through an acct number. Shouldn't take but a few days to open a business bank account. The "owner" of the business can make him a signer, giving him access to the cash.

[–]Tamnaeuth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He needs to keep it on the down low, maybe open a new bank account in his mothers name or something for it to go into

[–]Squeezymypenisy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wait till he proves it first.

[–]shelcod 24 points25 points  (7 children)

Stories like these are why I'll never get married.

[–]MakeEmSayAyy 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Bro as an ex addict, I would END someone if they did this. I don't give a fuck I would end them and dip out the country.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

if i was OP i would just disappear immediately.

[–]MakeEmSayAyy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

the second he noticed she was gone he shouldve drained the accounts himself

[–]DeepRedTomato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I disagree, OP has long-term investments to give up: kids and property; uprooting himself from things that are tying him down is the opposite of what he's trying to do according to the post. Plus, I'd argue disappearing wouldn't do him any good legally. But I personally think disappearing is a great idea if you hold all the cards.

[–]foldpak111 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Women like the ones described in this post need to die anyway.

[–]5t3fan0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same here... was already very skeptic of marriage when i was a beta bitch (still am but not so bad) but now, when someone asks me "dont you wanna find someone and marry in the future?" i try to not burst out laughing in their face

[–]SmilingWatermelon 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We have a large community here. We are all pro-men. Someone will help you. In the meanwhile, dont fall for any traps she lays out. Now that shes brought the law against you, shes your enemy for life.

plan accordingly.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 43 points44 points  (9 children)

Same thing. First ex accused me of abuse, she was the abusive one. Incredibly violent. I was always guilty when it came to the cops, they never cared what happened to me, only if I touched her. The photos of bruises, cuts, ripped clothing, and evidence of her violence was thrown out, she had zero proof of anything she claimed, but was believed by the court.

Second ex got a restraining order based on complete bullshit, then accused me of contacting her and I got a suspended 3 day jail sentence for it. She tried to get another one at a hearing for her boyfriend framing me, but thankfully it happened where there were cameras, and the footage showed nothing.

I'll never marry again, won't live with a bitch either. Zero commitment from me and I'll never tell a girl I love her again for the rest of my life.

I have no advice for men in this situation, in my experience you're fucked. The best I can do is tell you to never marry, and never let the bitch live with you.

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I'm laughing and crying at the same time. I can't believe this shit.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that often, especially from people who haven't been divorced yet.

[–]Vigilo_Infinite 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I'm a firm believer in preventative medicine and think we gotta educate guys to soul sucking harpies.

Sorry for the stream of questions but I gotta ask;

Was there a turning point from her? Outside of plausible deniability, did you actually do anything wrong/worthy of her resentment? Were you guys ever actually happy together?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points  (1 child)

dude... you can't protect yourself. I know you want to find a way to spot this shit happening and prevent it, but you can't when you've got children with one of these harpies.

What you gonna do... abandon your children at the first red flag? There'd be no fathers ...

[–]cheeky_throwaway101 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This so much. Women are phenomenal actors, you can keep your eyes open for all the red flags you want, take your time to really gauge who they are, and what they're made of. They will still fuck you over if they get tingles for someone else, they will paint everyone against you and literally gas light you until you go borderline insane.

They do not have an honourable bone in their body, because they honestly believe what they are doing is the right thing. You can't convince someone who is insane that they are insane no more than you can convince a woman that her actions are immoral.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Second ex and I had 8 very good years together. No fights, no arguments, lots of kinky wild sex, and up to the week before she went stupid she was always going on about how well we fit together.

The first one was going to get kicked to the curb and I got the "oops I'm pregnant" trap sprung on me before I had the time off work to kick her ass out. We never got along after the second month together. She was evil incarnate, bipolar, violent, irrational, and vindictive. I stayed to protect the kids from her.

The only thing I did wrong was treat them like adults, trusted them to do the right thing, and committed to them.

[–]Apocapoca 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Wait, so for your first ex. You presented HARD EVIDENCE IN COURT and they rejected it? Going with your exs spoken words as opposed to SOLID EVIDENCE THAT SHOWED PROOF OF ABUSE DIRECTED AT YOU? Brother, how the fuck does that even happen? What was the judges reaction to the evidence? Did you just have a shit lawyer?

How can someone be prosecuted if it's only their word against yours? There not nearly enough evidence in that regard. Which is why OPs ex is trying to get a reaction out of him. I would really appreciate it if you explained what the judge said when you presented the evidence? That's bullshit.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Family court does not work like criminal or even civil court. In the state of Nebraska famiky court, the man is always wrong, obviously guilty, and girls are perpetually the victim.

It's a long story, I wasn't able to get leave and afford to travel back for that hearing. I was fucked by my home state and by my unit.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Record everything going on to the best of your ability, not just to use in court, but so you can send copies to your children when they get old enough.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

You're fucked.

Source: I was fucked like this 10 years ago.

Your wife is out to destroy you mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. She is out for blood. Assume the worst. Your wife is now your mortal enemy. She wants you dead, in jail or in the gutter.

You can fight the restraining order all you want, the judge will not lift it. This is the society we live in. You are being punished for pre-crime based on the word of your wife and the court will side with her based on the remote chance she might be telling the truth

Its completely and utterly unconstitutional - but it's been the law now for 21 years.

DO NOT CONTACT HER FOR ANY REASON.

This is the game - to hurt you as badly as she can so you lose your shit, thus verifying every libelous line of bullshit she's uttered against you. You fuck up - you are done.

YES GET AN ATTORNEY ASAP. If you have family contact them and ask for assistance if you have to.

I have to stop writing this comment now - look for my edit in a bit I have more to say.

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I'm seriously considering offering her attorney full custody and indefinite protective orders only no child or spousal support. I do love my kid more than any thing but I'm beat before I started.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't advise that. Indefinite protective order is basically you being constantly one step away from jail.

You're just a few weeks into this process. You need to armor yourself for some tough times ahead.

Here's the bad news:

The next year of your life will be hell. The way this will break down will likely be 1 year of protection order - likely ending when the divorce is finalized. That's just the way it rolls. If you have a decent attorney you can negotiate this down to a civil no-contact order. The restraining order is a legal lever meant to intimidate you into capitulating your rights before negotiation even begins and right now it's working. It's also put in place sometimes because the woman KNOWS she's putting the screws to you and wants a convenient barrier up so she can be free from you confronting her about it.

Also:

Your ex-wife (start thinking of her in those terms immediately) is a sociopath. She has no concern for the long term well being of her child. She's motivated by three things:

  1. Revenge
  2. Need to Control
  3. Greed

She's divorcing you to punish you for some reason, not to civilly end an unhappy marriage. She doesn't care about her child's right to have a father in his/her (don't know what the sex of your kid is) life.. She's obsessed with your ruination.

Which leads to last but definitely not least...

YOUR WIFE IS A PARENTAL ALIENATOR

This is the issue that will have the most troubling long term effects. If you give up your parenting rights or lose them in any way - whether it be court ordered or just in form - it will haunt you for some time. It will prevent you from being able to be at peace with yourself for a very long time. It is a very difficult thing to come to terms with. You will miss your kid and it will break your heart into a million pieces not being able to love them and have them in your life.

The Good News:

You are finally getting rid of this lunatic. The financial shit you are going through will soon pass. Its a temporary hit. Its sucks (I was without residence for 18 months - living with family and friends) no doubt, but in 5 years you'll likely be doing better than ever financially - especially if this is serving as a wake up call to you. No more of her lording over you and you living your life to suit her fucked up whims. You are free. Take a deep breath man. Enjoy it. No more daily emotional terrorism.

You will bang many other women and it will be fun. While she's scheming, you'll be sipping scotch and slapping your balls off of the asses of different fun ladies.

You are internalizing what TRP is all about - Gaining mastery over your own condition. Now, more and more you are thinking in terms of what it takes to be your own man and not be beholden to anyone. You are learning now to possess the ability to make your own decisions, free from the manipulative influences of others (women), having life on your own terms. This probably won't happen overnight, but this divorce is giving you the opportunity to start with a relatively clean slate and start building the life you want and deserve to have.

The best good news is this divorce process is not indefinite. It will be over eventually.

The Truth About Divorce

Settle yourself and dig deep for some inner strength. You are going to need it. This is the test of your lifetime as a man. It may not be this profound for other men, but for guys like you and I - when we go through this process with a personality disordered psycho on a power trip with the state ready to march on her word - it will measure you as a man. Your intelligence, patience, self control, wisdom, awareness, determination... All of that and more will be exercised over the next 12-18 months. You can't fuck up - not even a little - or she'll get her way - and what she wants is to lift herself by affecting your ruination.

How it turns out depends on 3 things:

  1. Your strength and determination
  2. Your lawyer
  3. What kind of judge you get <--- MOST IMPORTANT

They are trying to win before this gets in front of a judge... Why? Well, because that's when they start losing control of the process.

If you have no record of DV or any kind of violent criminal history her claims about you will be viewed by suspicion. You need to get with your attorney and the first step is to negotiate a 50-50 visitation schedule within this restraining order. if that's not possible, do not settle for anything less than 100 overnights - keep the amount of money she gets limited. Once you get that settled then it's division of assets. If she cleared out bank accounts and you can prove that - she'll be ordered to write you a check (or credit you child support). If you share a home and mortgage with her - that's going to be difficult to get settled - took me 7 years to get my name off the loan. These days however, usually (depending on your state) they just sell the home and try to get that done right away. Remember, material possessions (even houses) can be replaced. Children cannot be. Don't make any hasty decisions until you speak with an attorney.

Good luck friend. PM me if you need to talk about shit or just vent - you are in for a fucking nasty ride. You just got to get through it so you can move on with your life and be happy again.

[–]RedSugarPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This should be an original post.

[–]94redstealth 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I didn't get screwed anywhere near as bad as you, but I'm in the struggle. The first family law attorney I sat down with in my little conservative town turned out to be very red pill. He is expensive and I thought I couldn't afford him. After meeting him I realized I couldn't afford not to hire him.

I wish you the best of luck.

[–]Lurker_IV 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If it does come to the point of needing a lawyer then there are organizations that specialize in helping men.

http://www.nationalcenterformen.org/
For full representation you are going to have to pay them for services though. They are lawyers after all.

The National Center For Men, incorporated in 1987, is dedicated to the advocacy of men's equal rights. We educate the public about how men have been hurt by sex discrimination and we also counsel individuals and families who have been damaged by discrimination against men... Welcome to our website. We hope your visit is informative and helpful.

[–][deleted] 21 points21 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]foldpak111 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I swear one of these days a group of professional men are going to get together and carry out hits against those profiting off of divorce court.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Move back in if you have to.

he has a court order against him

[–]Vigilo_Infinite 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm a firm believer in preventative medicine and think we gotta educate guys to soul sucking harpies.

Sorry for the stream of questions but I gotta ask; Was there a turning point from her? Outside of plausible deniability, did you actually do anything wrong/worthy of her resentment? Were you guys ever actually happy together?

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Is it against the rules to advocate for violent retribution? You know that when the government becomes tyrannical it is the duty and obligation of a free people to resist, rebel, revolt. Spill the tyrants bloods and save the next generation from growing up in slavery.

If you are being dispossessed unjustly you can appeal to the government courts and state your case. Go to the media and state your case. Go to friends, family, and the anonymous internet spaces and state your case. But, in the end if you do not receive satisfaction you will have been made into a slave. The only advice I can give to a slave, be it an individual or an entire class of people, is: revolt. Kill your master. It won't save you from a horrible fate but it will save the next generation by making tyrants thinks twice before enslaving a man.

Civilization is only a thin veneer. Religion, morality, laws and regulations. They exist because men built, maintain, and defend civilization. When men are no longer allowed to belong to this system it should be only natural to return back to the wild state of nature in which violence reigns.

Good luck and I hope the court is reasonable and just in your case.

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is not the America our founders fought and died for. This is a whore.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I am a lawyer but I do not know the laws in your jurisdiction. The tactic from your wife and her lawyer is pretty standard. The abuse allegation is there for her to feel that she has leverage and the ability to scare you. If you have not abused her then your lawyer will be able to defend you in court. Judges are used to seeing allegations of abuse. They are not impressed with silly stories with no proof as they see women who have had broken bones so if there is no physical evidence, it is unlikely the judge will give the abuse allegations any weight. If the judge does not believe the abuse allegations it makes the judge more likely to make some rulings in your favour.

Your ex is asking for the best possible settlement FOR HER. She is negotiating from the maximum. Your lawyer will do the same. Your lawyer will look at your side of the story, the relevant law in your state and then put forward an offer of settlement. Then you will either negotiate or it will go before the judge.

I wish I could help more. There are so many variables in these cases. If there is any way you can get a settlement which comes close to giving you the access/ custody/ property you are after. Going to a hearing is risky in any jurisdiction so you want to try and settle. Be Machiavellian, crawl to her if there are any lines of communication open. Tell her you just want what is fair for both of you and the kids. Keep your calm/ frame in all situations. Try to always present yourself as reasonable and calm.

I have been through the false accusations of abuse, the divorce, the threats. It is a living hell. I wish you all of the best. Find a lawyer you trust, try to diffuse any and all escaltion and see of you can get a semi decent settlement. Best of luck with it

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The only line of communication that is legal is through her attorney. She tried acting like I was up shit creek and she would destroy me. She said the judge would not grant a continuance but he did. They continually tried to settle all the way out the door but I can't accept a PFA order when there was no abuse.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you lawyer up, you're going to be on the hook for that expense. If you don't lawyer up, you're going to be on the hook for way way way way more money, because your ex and her lawyer are going to rape you sideways to next Sunday if they get the chance.

Lawyer up. Agree to nothing. Fight everything.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Women must trust that men are awesome people if they know they can do this without fear of retribution.

[–]Jizzanthupuss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look into Cordell & Cordell.

I used to represent women against them and they have always been a quality national firm for men going through family law issues.

[–]Antibuddy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Guys, guys. This has bad news bears written all over it. You have no idea who this guy or who you are supporting. Yes, we know this happens very often, but that is not enough for you to assume anyone who claims this kind of innocence is actually innocent. And for fuck's sake, he posted the legal document with BOTH their names on THE INTERNET. To what a lot of people are calling a HATE SITE. Do you think this dude has awesome judgement? I sure as hell don't.

[–]lawrencewidman 11 points12 points  (14 children)

I'm pretty much under similar conditions.

Day after Thanksgiving: Wife moves out with kids, does not tell me where she is going. I'm stuck at home wondering what to do.

Two weeks later: I'm served paperwork from the court about the divorce. So finally I know what is going on. I know where my wife is for sure, and that we have a mutual restraining order. I write my wife a few times to her parents place because the police officer in town suggested I do so (the same one later in story). I give her instructions on how I want her to raise the kids and explain my side of the story.

Day after Christmas: Cops show up at my door, and instruct me, that because I refused to show up to court my wife will take ownership of the house. I decided I wasn't going to fight the divorce, and simply give into her demands. I figure I'd rather give my wife and kids my assets than the court system.

New Years Day: Because I have no money in my bank account (because my wife drained it) I have to go to my sister's house. I had been living out of my van, but it was too cold to sleep much.

About 4 days after New Year: After my family refuses to house me, I decide to use my credit card for a 3 month stay at a motel. I'm not even sure I'm allowed to use the damn thing but I do it anyway.

During Jan: I decide to write my wife once to explain that I need tax documents and such so I can get my hard earned return money to start paying into child support and pay my CC. My wife has put our home up for sale with the local police officer/real estate agent (whom I'm not fond of) and list it for some crazy high amount. Obviously she doesn't give a crap how long it takes to sell.

During Feb: I had planned to meet my wife on Friday this week, but I said fuck it. I don't even fucking care anymore. So I've decided to delay getting my tax return. Edit: I met the Judge presiding over my case. I was going to give him the letter to send to her lawyer, but he told me to call her lawyer directly to set up a meeting. I thought about it, and decided I'll wait. Funny side note, I've been friends with the Judge's son for over 10 years. I understand he's just doing his job and I am actually glad he took me out of the house. It was time for me to move on.

All the while, my IRA's/401k's/house/bank accounts are all for intents and purposes frozen and I don't even freaking care. I feel liberated from the beast of burden and her sadistic nature.

My wife had planned to divorce me in April 2015. The same day I lost my job = same day she met her lawyer. I know why that happened.

As is my 5 year old and 1 year old. Haven't seen since Thanksgiving. And I didn't spend that day with them. My wife took them with her.

I see the flag at the courthouse. You know the black one. POW= Children MIA = Dads

That's all I care to say, and no I'm not fighting someone addicted to money.

[–]HoundDogs 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Wife moves out with kids, does not tell me where she is going.

How that's not kidnapping is beyond me. They wonder why men are GTOW and joining MRA groups.

Because it's fucking legal to steal our children when you get huffy.

[–]landon042 5 points5 points [recovered]

Crazy, All the betas in those positions of power, you would think it's happened to them and the beta cops. You the post about some guy wanting to fight back and argue against it. You know what we can all fucking do. Become cops/courtroom positions. On domestic violence calls you could actually listen to the guy and not bend over for the crocadile tears and be fair with other positions of power.(wasn't to you but everyone here)

[–]Seducibledotcom 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Most of us get weeded out in the hiring process because it seeps out of us that we're not as obedient and robotic as the women and faggots that are also going for the same job/jobs. Being a robot is hard to fake for many of us.

[–]foresculpt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to start acting gay during the hiring process to see if it helps, I'll just have to consider it more an acting role than a technical role.

[–]TyPerfect 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Independent thought is not what they are looking for.

[–]cariboo_j 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I see the flag at the courthouse. You know the black one. POW= Children MIA = Dads

Refuse to serve in the army.

America doesn't respect men and fathers.

Don't risk you life for these parasites.

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Man for some sick reason it makes me feel better I'm not alone. Thanks for your reply man means a lot.

[–]warjesus420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's sick at all. It's comforting knowing you're not alone, that you're not the only guy on earth who made this mistake, that others feel exactly what you do and are sharing a burden together. I get what you mean, you don't like feeling better hearing about someone else in misery but it's the same feeling for them I'm sure. Knowing they aren't the only ones getting fucked after reading your story.

It's group mentality, in it's roots you are all stronger together than being alone so your brain reacts in a positive way to keep you around your brothers. During our caveman days is when we gained that, the days when we really were Alphas so it comes from where our ideals here first formed in our minds.

[–]Dustin_Bromain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn man... I really hope this goes well for you. Please give us updates if you can!

[–]JP116 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Matt, I'm lawyer in Philly. I don't handle divorce cases. I asked around and a few people recommended Don Souders. Contact info is below. Good luck. You'll get thru this.

Don Souders Florio Perrucci Steinhardt & Fader LLC

Tel: (908) 454-8300

[–]nia_kills 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please get him some help guys... i cant see a fellow brother go down like that

[–]ASK_ME_WHY_IM_EVIL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw a post about a kick starter, but if you can't afford a lawyer yourself you need to start doing some reading and don't count on that for shit.

Filing paperwork is a pain in the ass, the laws are fucked and confusing, but you need to dedicate time to reading them and understanding them thoroughly. If you can't afford a lawyer you're going to be on your own and you need to understand how things work. I'm not sure about PA but where I live there is a legal library stocked with staff who can tell you where to find exactly what you need to know and what paperwork you need to file. Your first course of action if you can't get a lawyer (and you need to do this ASAP) is to request a discovery which will consume a shit ton of her lawyer's time, and thus her money, and provide you with any information they have thus far in their case against you.

Even if you can't afford a lawyer: find a lawyer, multiple lawyers in fact, and set up consultations to explain your position and get an idea of how to proceed. Consultations are basically where you explain your situation, you and the lawyer discuss options and pricing, and you basically get to interview your lawyer. Remember, this lawyer works for you - you don't need to worry about a "man friendly" lawyer because as long as you're putting cash in their pocket a good lawyer won't care about anything but getting you the best possible outcome he or she can because this is just the start and if they kick ass for you then you'll be back to give them more money in exchange for their services.

If you haven't already, create a post in your city's subreddit. That's how I found my lawyer and he was excellent.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Welll what was the plan? What did you do to protect yourself?

[–]dgillz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ditto on /u/Pinelero asked. WTF did you do to prepare?

[–]arosebyanyother_user 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An insane (literally... have the records; state was forced to provide them during criminal trial) woman took out a restraining order on me when I tried to end the relationship. I understand your pain friend. You must stay strong. I can tell you that it will be challenging, but close friends and family will be there for you.

Fighting a PO is hard as hell - civil suits are preponderance of evidence... Good luck and remember that you are the better person in this situation. Faith helped me too. PM me if you get down.

[–]aazav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn't care about the kid. She cares about making you a demon and the cause of all her problems.

[–]SnickeringBear 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I can tell you how to fight it, but it will be expensive. I paid over $50,000 in lawyers fees and psychologist fees.

  1. Document everything. Set up a file where you keep all your records and put everything in the file. You will need this later. Keep a daily log of what you do and where you go and who you see. Sooner or later, she will accuse you of stalking her and having your records and list of witnesses will be invaluable.

  2. Request the court to appoint a guardian ad litem for the child. This is standard operating procedure so should not be a big issue. The objective is to find out what is in the child's best interests.

  3. Request that the court appoint a child psychologist to evaluate the child(ren) and determine what is in their best interests. This will be EXPENSIVE. The objective is to get the kids to communicate where they are most likely to be happy.

  4. At some point, you will be granted visitation. Have a woman you trust, your mother, or someone else on your side, to go with you to each and every visit. Do NOT under any conditions be alone with your child even if you think it is ok. She will take the opportunity to convince the child that you did something inappropriate and she WILL run to the judge to get you arrested.

  5. Write down every single thing you see and hear from your kids and notes about their behaviors. You will need these notes both for the psychologist and for the court. Make notes when you get up, make notes when you lay down to sleep, make notes of every single thing you do with your child.

  6. Get a good lawyer, if you can, get a woman lawyer. They are often - no surprise - better equipped to defend against what you are about to be charged with.

  7. Take pictures. A picture will stand up when nothing else will. I got pictures of my daughters legs after having been struck repeatedly with a broom handle. Those pictures told a story no amount of words can convey.

Please read through the above and you will find the means to fight this. Why did I fight? I had my kids lives to motivate me and I made myself a promise that I would succeed no matter how much money I had to spend.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew someone who would hang out in places that had surveillance cameras just so there was evidence of him being somewhere. I also knew someone else who during his marriage would capture video or audio footage of his wife losing it. She never had any idea but there was footage of her making threats, of her yelling at him and the kids, footage of her striking him. I don't know if he ever got a divorce (lost contact a few years ago) but he more or less had a bunch of shit to show how crazy she is.

[–]Moneyley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm on your side brah but I think it's safe to say that none of us here at TRP saw what you posted. We didn't see any....names or specific areas of interest. If those imgurs happen to be deleted somehow then they do. I'd hate for the ex to know her stuff is on those forms that I didn't see.

Best wishes on your legal matters but...read between the lines and see if those imgurs disappear. As you can see bitches will grab at ANYTHING even if its not true, just to smear you.

[–]BallisticTherapy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Terrence Popp did a video about what to do when they try to screw you over like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNoE5JlMI6Y

Basically you need to shove the other parts of the system up her ass.

[–]Fergatron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having gone through my wife taking a false VRO out against me late last year that prevented me from going to the house that I pay for and seeing my children, I offer this advice...

  1. Write everything down. Dates, times, descriptions of any time she contacts you. Also go through emails, voicemails, texts, and any memories of issues with her and document them all. When you are under emotional stress like this, it is easy to forget details when you need them most.

  2. Get a transcript of the VRO hearing from the court (it should be free or only a small charge). Also request a copy of the aferdavit or statutory declaration she submitted to get the VRO. Also go to the local police and request any and all records relating to calls-to or visits-from the police (this should be available under local government freedom of information laws). (These should be free or a small fee if you are involved in the incidents) Go through them all and document any response (your side of the story) to all accusations. As above, when you are under emotional stress like this, it is easy to forget details when you need them most.

  3. Call your local legal aid and all free or low cost community attorneys or legal assistance. This is for two reasons. 1. You get more than one opinion and more information about the laws and your case. 2. If you are using them, it will stop the other party from using them (as both parties cannot use the same service.)

  4. Educate yourself in the art of negotiation and sticking up for yourself. Two books recommended by TRP that helped me were "No more Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover and "The Power of Nice - How To Negotiate so Everybody Wins - Especially You!" by Ronald M. Shapiro. These books sound contradictory, but I assure you they are not. These two books helped my to negotiate my VRO down to 2 months and had the children removed from the VRO. I am now still using the wisdom from these two books in mediation talks with my wife about parenting and property matters. - PM me your email and I'll send you DRM free epub copies of the books.

  5. Learn about the applicable laws and court proceedings and options. The more you know, the better prepared you'll be.

  6. Avoid court litigation if possible. I went and saw two high priced layers. And they both wanted to start litigation asap. Unless you have money to burn, avoid this. Try to use mediation and negotiation instead.

  7. Most woman want to stay married, but want you to submit to their rule and be the beta provider that never expects respect or sex. Because of this, keep the dream alive for her and leave the divorse untill you have parenting and property agreements mediated and then put though court as consent orders to make them binding. It will put you in a much better bargaining situation.

  8. Keep reading all TRP sub-reddits and glean as much info as possible.

Edit: a word.

[–]MasterUm 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Before you progress any further, please see "Divorce Corp" immediately. Seriously, please watch it the first opportunity you have.

In short: due to the way the family court system is set up, you will both loose your child AND go bankrupt, or loose all your money+real estate.

When the system is SO stacked up against you, giving up is a wise thing to do. You will not have your child. Get as much assets as you can and run. DO NOT SEEK JUSTICE IN FAMILY COURT.

EDIT: I've watched Divorce Corp two days before writing this comment. I did not have a firsthand experience with divorce. Definitely listen to others advice as well, since my is likely unnecessarily emotional.

[–]RPRedhead 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Whoah, whoa, there! Giving up is NOT wise. Watching Divorce Corp is a good idea, but this brother needs to lawyer up ASAP. Watch movies later.

I got my ex's Order for Protection dismissed. There is hope, but it is an uphill battle. Right now a good lawyer is the best medicine.

[–]slimcoat 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Don't give up. Go scorched earth and burn everything to the ground if you have to. You're a man and can rebuild if needed; she can't.

[–]HoundDogs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not to mention, your children are statistically far better off with their father in their life. So, she's destroying the children's lives because she's mad at their father. It's the most selfish perspective imaginable but it's the modern Western woman....eternally arrogant that they don't need men to raise children.

It's a crime against innocent children to be raised without the influence of their father.

[–]94redstealth 5 points6 points  (1 child)

bad, bad, bad advice

courts are changing and even in my super conservative redneck town I have a chance at full custody for my child because the judges are willing to unbiasedly assess a situation.

[–]putinbusch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is the antithesis of what we are here. That is cowardly talk. Go fuck off to srs or 2x.

[–]RPRedhead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anyone have a link to the previous post?

[–]Adolf_ghandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of you can't win bleed her money out and leave.

Good luck anyway.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take out a loan if need be. Bank if possible, credit card if not. If you're going bankrupt might as well go out in style and with access to your kids.

[–]Malago0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my experience dealing with these things the only evidence of abuse is pictured physical damage and/or witness testimony. Don't know exactly how PA works, but I've seen these court battles in NC and VA. The fun has just started for you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do NOT give up your rights to your daughter. DO NOT give anything to this bitch. Fight, but maintain your fucking frame all the way to the bitter end.

You have two weeks. Go to the nearest law school and get a legal aid attorney. Ask the judge to appoint an attorney if this is a criminal case. If it is a civil case for divorce/custody then borrow, beg or steal whatever you need to fight this. Do NOT admit anything to the femcunt.

I can't believe she got up there and suddenly started saying that I abuse her

This is well known that women do this in 30-40% of divorce cases. Have you not been paying attention?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP read this http://archive.is/Q5u10

& Google up Hans Mills.

That's your future.May aswell do it earlier.

[–]darksoldierk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just so you know, my father went through the same thing. My sister and I were over 18, so we could choose who we wanted to live with, so custody wasn't an issue. But I remember seeing my mother spew out some bullshit about my father physically abusing her, and the judge would turn to my father asking for his defence. Every time my father defended himself, she would accuse him of accusing her again in a different instance, and the judge would again turn to my father and ask for his defence. I remember seeing my father losing his mind, constantly asking "how am I ever going to get rid of this whole thing if I am perceived as guilty after every lie she tells, and the burden of proving that she is lying falls on me?". He spent 2 years, in and out of court, disputing her claims. Time after time he proved she was lying, and the judge still took the next accusation she made as fact. I remember giving my father the tuition loan that I had received for my university semester to help him pay his legal costs. I dropped out that semester, couldn't afford university.

He ended up going bankrupt after 3 years. To this day, my mother still won't sign the divorce paper, their status is still "legally separated". I don't doubt that if my father hadn't declared bankruptcy, she'd still be throwing accusations around.

Guess who my sister and I chose to spend our lives with, and who we decided to cut out of our lives.

[–]aga080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit OP, we are in the same area. PM me for details on an attorney I know some good ones that can shred her to pieces. It will cost you but it will be worth it.

[–]TomHicks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they hit you hard with alimony and child support, would you consider leaving the country?

[–]sJames113 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Did you see any signs of your wife being a manipulative sociopath earlier in your relationship? Were you blinded by love or was she simply very deceptive?

[–]thegr8b8m8[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I saw some things but don't all women lie? I never thought that this would have been a possibility though. I honestly believe that she cared more about my daughter having a father then being vindictive and getting her way. Honestly the problem here is that she already went so far I believe she can't go back in her mind. I busted her out to everyone so she's going to have to stand by her accusation that I'm abusive. I think she regrets this. I'm not sympathetic towards her. Now I see clearly. Her emotions rule her. We think logically.

[–]R3v4mp3d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said this again to another poster awhile back: man, in this case just give up the kids and move on. Cut your financial losses as much as you can and don't give too much of a struggle for your kid since it's an uphill battle that just ain't worth it.

You can't win and you won't win. The only scenario in which you win is that in which you get the kid and the mother NEVER EVER gets to see her ever again! Your exwife is a stipid bitch and shouldn't have the right to have kids. Any and all contact with the exwife will be detrimental to your kid.

Good luck, but if you don't end up with the kid then start cinsidering you don't have one.

[–]truthyego 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hey man, here's a few basic first steps that you could take. It might be too late for it to really matter, but at least it will be on the record, and it might get you some traction. Submit a sworn and notarized affidavit, with a few simple challenges:

  1. Jurisdiction. What evidence can they show of valid jurisdiction? You are not refuting or making any arguments, all you are doing is demanding due process. Demand to be informed of which Article III Section 2 jurisdiction is being applied. (hint, it is maritime and/or admiralty, but they will never admit that). Demand that they enter proof that their corporate laws apply to you and your property.

  2. What evidence or proof can she offer of any of her claims? Demand that evidence be entered that supports her claims. You are not making any arguments, you are merely challenging that the accusations be accompanied by legitimate evidence. Your guilt has already been presumed. It is an unstated presumption. YOU MUST CHALLENGE THEIR LEGAL PRESUMPTIONS, and demand proof of their claims, and refute the presumption of guilt.

  3. Demand due process. Demand your property be returned until such time that both jurisdiction and her claim can be proven via fair and meaningful proceedings.

  4. File a criminal and civil complaint against her for filing a false report and making false statements. Swear to the contrary of any false claims she has made against you.

You've entered a long and painful road that is the legal system. It is fraudulent and criminal in nature. The truth is that you are presumed to be a franchise of the USA corp. In this corporation you sign away your inherent rights for "privileges and immunities" and for the benefits of being part of their corporation. They presume MARITIME and ADMIRALTY jurisdiction (the law merchant and the law of the military), where you have no inherent rights, no due process, and no presumption of innocence.

This is why men can be completely fleeced by the system. The process is completely fraudulent on its face, and they count on our ignorance, and operate by legal presumptions which go unchallenged.

It's a long, difficult, and often confusing road ahead. You have a lot of research to do, and it will be many months before you can wrap your head around the fraud that was perpetuated on our nation. Until we can free ourselves of being chattel in USA corp, we will be SLAVES to their system.

Start at: http://anticorruptionsociety.com/ Look up Marc Stevens and Dean Clifford on youtube.

They have put Dean in jail for attempting to assert his rights. It is unlawful and fraudulent what they have done. But the only other option is to roll over and take it in the ass. In their system, you have the freedom to be poor and destitute and have everything taken from you.

WAKE UP RED PILL. We talk a big game about wanting to be strong, confident, free men, yet we are all chattel slaves. You were lied to, through and through. What they have done to u/thegr8b8m8 and 10000s of others is proof.

Wake up, get educated, and fight.

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