"I don't give a fuck" attitude only works if you don't actually give a fuck. If you care, care like a warrior. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]


[–]huge_gap 51 points52 points  (10 children)

Been "unplugged" for almost two years and this sincerely blew my mind.

What an elegant, simple concept.

I need to meditate on this. I've been going about it all wrong... I desire but get approach anxiety with women I find truly outstanding... I've been self- medicating with tinder sluts way below my SMV...

I haven't been doing it right: meeting real people in the real world.

The last real passion I had with a girl was from approaching her because I was so entranced that I had to... I Needed to. My feet moved for me.

Since TRP I've severely limited my availability, both physical and emotional, with women. I've played the "cool dude." I want to text but don't because it's evolved into a game of "who wears the pants" for me. I don't want to be the one with the short end of the stick. I want the power, the control, and always to reserve the right to walk away because it's about being in a higher place of advantage.

I've reduced every relationship I have to utilitarian standards: what is the bare minimum to give and how do I maximize my own personal gain?

I've killed the romantic. I've killed the boy. I've become the man that second and third-guesses himself to ensure he's made the "most successful choice" in any social interaction.

I've cooled myself to where my feelings are muted. I don't dig deep into the earth with my relationships anymore: everything is a transaction and nothing goes deeper because... there is nothing I want to excavate underneath.

Now the question is, how do I proceed from here? Where is the balance between the mind and the beast?

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Thank you for the heartfelt reply. This is the real, sane sense of honesty that you're looking for right here. You're able to express it when you're thinking about it and when you mean it. Sometimes being aware is all you need in order to bring about that change.

I'll tell you a story:

When I was in my early 20s, I was dating this girl. It was that obligated relationship, the stereotypical "I banged her a few times so we should obviously be together forever" sort of thing. I didn't find her attractive. God knows why she was with me. I was a skinny nerd with no willpower or prospects. We moved together to a small university town.

While there I met this girl: Laura. She was at a mutual friend's party. I was feeling particularly comfortable at this party, so I had a spatula fencing fight with Laura. It was goofy, fun. Just two young adults acting dumb.

Laura was the aloof artist, the demure and mischievous daughter of extremely wealthy parents. She was short, drop dead gorgeous with large breasts and a completely unreadable expression except when she was causing trouble.

And she fucking dug me.

I didn't know. It's actually taken me almost 10 years to realize just what happened after that night, analyzing all the little connections between us that eventually led to the most intense mutual seduction I've ever experienced and will probably ever experience. She had a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend. And we were both completely intent on seducing each other.

But we weren't trained in this. Neither of us had read a single page of PUA or The Art of Seduction or anything like that. We weren't taking a class on how to perform just the right amount of dread game or show just the right amount of interest.

In fact, if I had lifted and acted perfectly poised and said every "right" thing instead of the weird shit I said back then, I never would have caught this girl's interest. Because, and I'll put this out there as something that really stands out in my life lately:

I was more interesting back then.

Today I have a solid job, nice car, good hobbies, loving friends and family, no depression, good body, mental health. I've made my life much more comfortable.

Back then I had chronic pain which led me to act Machiavellian with women in order to get extreme pleasure out of games. I said weird ass fucking shit all the time because I liked to shock and annoy people. I worked a shit job that I hated and I played pranks and jokes there and rebelled against authority at every turn. And of course, I tried to seduce girls with girlfriends.

I was an interesting fucking kid who really really didn't give a fuck.

Now that I'm older, the game has changed. I'm not as dandy-ish or androgynous as my younger self. I exude a masculine energy that has to be counterbalanced; otherwise I come off as just another dick. I'm not going around saying weird shit just to say weird shit anymore, which makes my conversations fairly predictable. I rely more on others to entertain me than on me entertaining myself.

But my desire to seduce is still really strong. It's where so much of my younger, crazier energy still lies. Last night I was with two couples at an event downtown and all I could think was, "It would be child's play to get both of these girls away from their guys." Hell, younger me might have been able to do it even better.

That's pretty much when I realized:

Younger me was a master seducer.

Older me (relatively, I'm not old) is more of a momentary thrill. Women are drawn to me for short term giddy fun.

When you live like us, constantly improving and trying to get ahead (nothing wrong with it), it leads to a certain predictability. I get into these social networking mixers and meet the same people all the time. The two bros who met at that bar and know about this job that pays six figures, the girls on their arms who flirt with me to piss off those guys, the pack of early 20s gigglers who hang around the place just to stare at men and be hit on a little before running away in a huge group. You can really get in a rut.

Women can actually help with that. It turns out, it's really fucking hard to hide who you are when someone gets just a little bit under your skin. If a woman shows the laser beam focus toward you that you're showing toward TRP skills, she'll find what's mysterious and elusive. If she just wants to fuck you, she won't bother.

Cold approaches, the real scary kind where you're actually talking like human beings, offer the chance for you to both discover and rediscover this stuff. Social networking and Tinder game do not. They only reinforce what you think you already know. And you know a lot. You know a lot more than you did a few years ago. And you know it with a force of will that runs the risk of eliminating some of that really edgy and fun shit that may have been lost or repressed before you embarked on this journey.

So maybe focus more on the long play. Seduction. It's a wild and wonderful journey finding out crazy shit about yourself over the course of a long struggle as opposed to a hit-it-and-quit-it "everyone knows what's happening here" rendezvous.

Human psychology and behavior are still enigmas and probably will be until the day we die. That's why these posts will never die out, why long after we're gone, a couple more guys will eventually come back around to this same conversation, and why the party can go on and the fun can happen until the day you die.

Good luck.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Most of this post, especially the story, almost nails me to a T. I'm still on the early 20's phase. I thought maybe after TRP there would be no more 'naturally unfolding' seductions but your clarification on cold approaches makes it more appealing.

Back when I pulled in my aloof artist from a wealthy family with big tits (she was bi too) I truly didn't give a fuck. I was just me. I had beta tendencies. I played video games. But the energy I brought with my personality was powerful. I didn't know any seduction. I just "had a way with words" girls would tell me when I was just being honest. I had a text game. Then TRP hit and I over analyze and tell myself limit text to logistics, don't be too honest with feelings, blah blah blah

I've learned even then that the girls thought I was making stuff up. I suppose since girls have a guilty conscious and lie they expect us to lie to. So when I was being legit and showing interest, they thought I was running game so to speak. "Putting on an act". Reinforces the idea they just want to be entertained they don't want to know the real you and even if you try to share it with them, all they really care is how it makes them feel.

I'm chasing myself in circles with this shit. But your post made me have an enjoying perspective in the seduction aspect again. Keep things fresh. Go outside of the scope of solid routine so you don't get in a rut. Don't know the odds. Take risks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck. I want to buy you gold, but don't use PayPal/Bitcoin or have an US Credit Card. Oh well, the will was there.

Thank you for the post and the awesome answer!

[–]1lurkingtacopiller 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, holy shit. You just described my current situation as well. I'm "happy" ( lifting, doing well in school, eating right) but I'm not actually enjoying myself. My life is almost mechanical. Here's hoping we get out of this funk together.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two excellent inner game books I've found really resonate with this post: models by Mark Manson and "the manual, what women want and how to give it to them".

As for the waiting long to text and shit. Those rules have always annoyed me until a recent epiphany. The problem is that we did not evolve with phones. Think of it this way - way back when we were in tribes with little technology, men of value were with other men, hunting etc. In order for them to contact women they needed to be away from their male group. Now imagine that you are one of those men, would you often leave the group to talk to the girl you like even when she's with the other women doing their things? Fuck no you'd look like a little bitch. So texting pretty frequently is bad for that reason - giving her contact (time) implies to her subconsciously that you are giving her priority over friends which immediately drops your value.

The next point is text and phone game. Why so brief? Why aren't you allowed to message her long sentences and shit since typing is easy and takes two seconds? Same principle - you're showing her that you're super invested when you shouldn't be like that. Imagine that you have a brief moment alone with her before or just after a hunt or building some shit. Do you have a drawn out conversation and try to entertain her? Fuck no. One of two things: plan logistics for sex, or escalate to prepare her for sex. Think of texting as a tool strictly to get sex and nothing else.

[–]masnera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been "unplugged" for almost two years and this sincerely blew my mind

this post blew my mind, that i come to think that, i am still plugged, but i am optimist that i will come across quality post like this from TRP only.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it blew my mind too man. I've been having a lot of trouble with : outcome dependence " of late...

really puts shit in preservative. I have Defo not been opening they sets I want to, I feel as if now i can. it's a really weird feeling.

[–]adamlikesprettygirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this feels like the heart of it

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (19 children)

Semantics, the whole manosphere is filled with this type of issues, from IDGAF attitude, abundance mentality, outcome dependence, etc.

I recently saw a video from RSD Todd who basically said "fuck being outcome independent", and I think this is why so many newcomers have troubles with TRP and consequently submit stupid shit asking for steps to get laid.

Some TRP core ideas are literal, but some are not, some are not simple steps to alphaness. Like Todd says in the video, I do give a shit if I fail a pick up or not, I do give a shit if I get laid or not, most guys think they need to not care about failing, lie, you need to not care about failing with her in particular.

And this post reminds me of the same, IDGAF attitude is not about literally caring or not about something, because if we're gonna get literal, you cannot succeed at nothing you don't care about, IDGAF attitude is realizing that you are allowed to care, to want something, to invest in something, but at the end of the day if you failed, no one died, the world keeps spinning and your emotional structure is still intact.

Everything should be an invest in your life, you hope for making more money, but if you lose it, it was a calculated risk, money you set aside for that purpose and doesn't hurt your economy at the end of the month. IDGAF attitude is a great foolproof method to make newcomers stop investing their life savings and emergency funds like they've been doing all their lives, but eventually if you don't understand the difference, you will be hiding yourself, not hardening.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (11 children)

The unfortunate part is there are alot of young readers in here who do not understand the nuances of our language or the semantics behind some of the words we use. The favorite acronym for feminists, newbies and low T men to misunderstand is AWALT.

[–][deleted] 32 points32 points

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[–]2awalt_cupcake 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I swear autists are just really insecure and stuck in their head-space. Show me a confident autist that isn't Forrest Gump.

[–]F1ZZLE 2 points2 points [recovered]

Would you even consider a confident man an autist? I wouldn't.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Stuck in their headspace doesn't mean they're insecure. They're just thinking about so much random shit (often having nothing to do with the current conversation) while trying to socialize that it doesn't work out so well.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

stuck in their headspace AND insecure.

When they can't anchor themselves back to reality and everyone puts them down as socially inept or they accept that role that only gets solidified in their headspace.

[–]Skater_Goy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you were an autist, would you be confident?

[–]2awalt_cupcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

autist + confident = eccentric

my theory anyway

[–]CQC3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's because most new TRP'ers are poor BP guys who are just looking to switch one bad dogma for one that is getting great reviews.

One thing I've realized is that the IDGAF attitude is something that drenches pussy...if you have preselection and or a known social status.

But showing that you care in an alpha way is something that betas in reform are absolutely shit at. The same as telling an alcoholic that one drink is okay. That's the reason why TRP has so many strict terms and concepts like no compliments and don't feed her any attention, because they don't know how to situationally apply those, so it's better to refrain and step outside of that behavior entirely to observe from the outside what it would be like to withhold from your normal behaviors.

If I may make a nerdy confession...

Even when I was in the BP mindset I overkilled it on the displays of IDGAF, I had this weird and fucked desire to just be able to do jack shit and have interesting people and awesome situations happen to me, I think I was just too isolated as an adolescent due to my parents and only had video games and anime to keep me company. Too much anime (which isn't at fault) got me all warped into thinking I could be like the main character of a lot of anime which tends to make the universe revolve around that person. Of course I didn't believe it to that extent, but I was certainly in ego preservation and overly entitled. Interestingly enough these failings were IRL where my social anxieties had manifested strongly, but online I was able to relax and apparently people liked me.

I started to equate being the one that people come to makes you feel validated and superior, and that actively going to other people makes you the bitch. I fell into the egalitarian mindset where I went tit for tat in every friendship, getting involved in mediocre analysis of how many times I had texted that person vs them going out of their way to text me. There's some granules of truth in this way of thinking, but life is not so robotic either.

So I eventually developed a disgust for having to be the one that puts all the effort into shit, I was not wrong entirely, but I was also hamstering the fact that perhaps my value was just too low and I wanted high quality friends. Sure, the people I do get to know I'm funny and stimulating with, but overall I lacked the ability to understand that apathy is NOT power when you're on the bottom. The obsession with showing I don't care was all a smokescreen, I DID fucking care, I fucking cared so much that I was barely able to restrain myself from making myself too available. The key is to contemplate who you are, what you want and reconcile yourself with the world--if that makes sense. Sometimes its necessary to restrain yourself with discipline, but what you have to learn to do is make sure that situation isn't something you're over invested into for some psychological reason that needs addressing. You can't always be picky in how you get shit. Some of the more intelligent betas are notoriously picky in how they get shit, it's not enough to vie for something and get it, in the case of women, they want the woman to love them and under specific circumstances. It's like a system of check and balances, they deny themselves agency to just go out and fucking get that shit, they don't want to behave aggressively and realize that they got the girl they thought was an angel by just merely imposing upon her and "forcing her hand" in her options to behave slutty, and break their feeble illusions. This is why most betas act this way, because they've been told to and because some of them are scared that some other shit might ACTUALLY work and they get what they want in an unpredictable way that causes them anxiety and threatens their elaborately crafted world view.

Apathy is a byproduct of being higher up on the totem pole, where you're more locked into specifics of what you want, and disregard other shit that people who are starving--so to speak, would be lapping up.

I'm not so high on the totem pole ATM, though I'm pretty confident in myself, and my work that needs doing is outwardly focused on making shit happen with goals, not so much inwardly anymore. The rest is a job for experience.

A few days ago I was talking to a girl I wanted to fuck, I tried to game her, and I didn't fumble, but I wasn't ultimately successful for one reason or another. The lesson there: I showed decent enough interest to investigate further, I made it clear that I wanted to fuck, she did not want to fuck for her own reasons, so then I dropped it altogether and haven't spoke to her since. I forgot about her, why? I did what I could, I went for what I wanted and that situation reached its conclusion. The old me would have found some way to stick around, over invest, maybe never even make it clear I want to fuck her. I'd still talk, I'd still hang around and be pleasant, fuck maybe I'd even find some supposedly clever way to add plausible deniability to my own approaching her.

My long winded point is that caring =/= bad. It is the mentality behind which you show those things where there can be a problem. If you're in scarcity mentality and have no pride, the extent of your caring is probably well beyond unhealthy and unattractive. If you have so much goddamn pride because it's the only shit that's keeping you going like I was, you start to find ways to avoid putting that pride in danger, AKA THE SUPREME IDGAF ATTITUDE. IDGAF SO MUCH BITCH THAT I AINT EVEN GONNA TALK TO YOUR ASS (FUCK, she caught me looking at her, I better double down on the not caring these next few days, right I'll plan it out. Gonna walk right past that bitch tomorrow without even looking at her, that'll show her the extent of my apathetic wizardry. I must be different, I dare to defy! Look at that douchebag talking to her, pfft he's trying to game her, that's so lame, everybody knows love is magic and intangible and happens when a fairy farts on the same two people during their sleep, and they find one another in the cosmos of time by tracking each others fairy fart down, fart magnetism it was...)

[–]Cunt_Robber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I've recently figured out AWALT, and it was about time as my anger phase was getting the best of me. Through trial-and-error, I've come to notice that women follow, not only consciously but, important to note, also unconsciously, the man's lead in conversation, in social situations, etc. If you play games, she'll play games. If you tease, she'll tease. If you're creepy, she won't want to be creepy and she'll get weirded out, feel weird/awkward, and seek do eliminate the stimulus (you) making her feel that way. If you choose to talk about jobs or school, she'll do that too, though she'll get bored and lose interest and refocus on someone else who can provide entertainment, positivity, fun. If you do something, she's got to do it too (feminists pathetically say they feel "empowered" after doing something previously achieved only by men... but they do the same shit men have done first--men still lead, and women are always catching up).

What I've realized is I can lead women and the conversations wherever I want, short of asking them explicitly for sex. The more ambiguous (read-between-the-lines phrasing) you are, the more interested she'll be and the more you'll get out of her. Women are wired to be ambiguous, AWALT. They'll never give you a straight answer, they feel safe, secure, and empowered by ambiguity. In their heads, arguments have no CORRECT answer, but she'll keep arguing like a broken record because if arguments have no correct answer she can't be wrong, so she'll keep arguing like a broken record because if arguments have no correct answer she can't be wrong, so... That's why they overthink shit all the time, and can't be straight and direct with you, and turn you down EVERY TtIME you EXPLICITLY ask for sex, regardless of how much they want it. This is one huge advantage men have over women. USE IT. Alphas have internalized this at some point, and use it to "lead," seduce, impress, and fuck women. Next thing you know, her poor little mind's making up excuses about why she slept with this man, but she wasn't at fault because then she'll feel weird/awkward, and so she'll seek to eliminate the stimulus (you) making her feel that way by the best alibi ever: victimizing herself. AWALT

[–]vezokpiraka 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very well said.

Also, you won't realise when you don't give a fuck, because you won't be giving a fuck.

[–]--CASPER-- 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Link to vid? Awesome post OP Super motivational!+1

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Killer instinct - Why outcome independence is bullshit

To be fair, this reeks of money grabbing bullshit, specially when he has a ton of videos about being outcome independent, but again, I feel like guys that are new to TRP can't discern between wanting certain outcome and emotionally investing on that outcome, because they neglect the inner changes they need to make.

I'm not saying go meditate, but seriously new guys should spend a good amount of time sitting down and having a chat with themselves.

[–]Bearhardy 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Can't upvote you enough, I guess it's commom for new guys to get tangled in theory and semmantics when really they should be taking action, afther some time and many fails you start to grasp the balance between the two.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So true, words are just made up ways to refer to knowledge in common between people, some of that knowledge can be explained, but the most valuable ones have to be experienced.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

TRP is an outline and like everything else is meant for you to adapt it to your life.

The single best piece of advice is BE YOURSELF, just a better version.

If you're funny then be funny. If you're nice then be nice. If you're cool and don't give a fuck then you're awesome.

The point is imitate a better version of yourself until you become it, until you reach a point of satisfaction, and then to keep going until you can't go any further.

[–]0_fox_are_given 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was younger, this fucked me up pretty bad.

Too naive to understand that a lot of these things were guidelines rather then laws.

[–]wakocid 22 points23 points  (3 children)

From what I can see the IDGAF attitude should mean : I approached, it did not go well, I learned from this, next time will be better. I am not going to sulk, pout, cry or write a post on TRP seeking some sympathy?

[–]recon_johnny 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OI and IDGAF are closely related. You approach, and what happens afterwards is (almost) inconsequential--yes, the point is sex; it's always sex. But if not her, then the next one. She turns you down/isn't engaging; No. Big. Deal.

I've learned that When You Don't Give a Fuck (and Outcome Independence), you care less about shit throughout the day. Ah, that unicorn was riding some random cock? Eh. Happens. Move on. Boss gave the promotion elsewhere? I'll start sending out resumes, and I'm the fuck out as soon as I can be.

Think of it as the line from the Godfather: "Tell Mike it was only business". Nothing personal.

[–]marplaneit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never could develop the IDGAF until I had a stable harem of 4-5 girls. I really don't care about bitches anymore, I don't have enough time to meet my girls... And the problema is? Sincé I can get laid with a message and I don't really care about getting rejected 90000 times a night, bitches come to me and I reject most of them cause I don't have enough time.

[–]RojoEscarlata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, approach approach approach, the IDGAF attitude is for reminding you that it doesn't matter the outcome as long as you take action head on.

IDGAF is not meant to avoid the struggle, but not to get attached to the result and keep moving forward despite “pain"

Paraphrasing Nietzsche: Take actions and take them to the limit, even if it seems foolish to outsiders the only thing that matters is keep moving forward.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This is a well articulated and thought out post.

But I will posit that this is the basis for approaching women during the day, and not something to apply at nightclubs/bars/etc.

[–]TheEnglishman28 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Man, reading OP is so god damn inspiring, it reminds me of one of the greatest motivational speeches to grace the silver screen.

Alec Baldwin - Always Be Closing Speech from Glengarry GlenRoss


OP's post is eerily similiar to that speech in tone and message.

Blake: Let's talk about something important. Put. That. Coffee. Down. Coffee's for closers only. You think I am fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I am here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levine? And you call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?

And right here, OP's post about people throwing keyboards, similar to this

Dave Moss: I don't gotta sit here and listen to this shit.

That's right, hit the Home button and GTFO if you don't like the message, else, soldier on.

Blake: You certainly don't pal, 'cause the good news is - you're fired. The bad news is - you've got, all of you've got just one week to regain your jobs starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's sit. Oh? Have I got your attention now? Good. "Cause we're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Get the picture? You laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money, get their names to sell them, you can't close the leads youre given you can't close shit. You ARE shit. Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going OUT.

It's in your hands to either get things done or be a beta bitch.

Shelley Levene: The leads are weak.

Blue pill hamster

Blake: The leads are weak? Fucking leads are weak. You're weak. I've been in this business 15 years...

Dave Moss: What's your name?

Blake: Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? You drove a Hyundai to get here. I drove an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT'S my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fucking faggots? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention - Do I have your attention? Interest - Are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision - Have you made your decision for Christ? And Action. A-I-D-A. Get out there - you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem, pal?

Do I even need to say anything?

[–]toneroma 7 points8 points  (2 children)

This is why I try to stay away from IDGAF as a philosophy. I prefer to aspire to stoicism insofar as "stoic" is defined this way: "a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining."

I mean, seriously. If I actually didn't give a fuck I wouldn't do shit. I wouldn't lift or eat clean if IDGAF. I wouldn't talk to women at all if IDGAF.

Fucks must be given. Fucks are the fuel of ambition. Fucks get me up in the morning and get me into work. Fucks drive me to the gym. Fucks get me phone numbers. Fucks are what get me laid.

It's fucking stupid to walk up to a woman and pretend you don't give a fuck about talking to her. Why else would you have approached in the first place? It's okay to let her know that you give a fuck about the way she looks, or the way she _____ or how much you love her _____.

The time to not give a fuck is when she tells you to get bent. You say "sweet" and move on to something else.

Stoicism, or useful IDGAF isn't about being passive, aloof or a even a fucking psychopath. It's about doing what your fucks tell you to do and not being a bitch when it doesn't work out.

Give that bitch a fuck, and if she gives you shit in return (instead of, you know, a fuck), then you take your fuck back. That's not her fuck. You just let her hold it for a while.

[–]SmilingWatermelon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Very well written.

The IDGAF attitude applies to failing mostly. Don't be afraid to fail and don't fall for anyones bs. People misapply our tenants often.

This is very clear. If you see a girl and she's on your mind, find out why, approach and talk about it. Just talk. Keep it simple.

At the gym the other day I saw a girl pulling more weight then a ton of bigger guys. I motioned her to come over and asked her about it. Her name is Linda and she's a body builder. It was a simple pleasant conversation.

You don't always need to close, my goal was to find out why she was so strong.

Break out of your mental shell and experience life.

[–]deeman010 6 points7 points  (15 children)

Why'd you remove your post?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I didn't. Someone else removed it. I'm waiting to see if they explain why.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

/u/redpillschool /u/bsutansalt why was this removed

[–][deleted] 5 points5 points

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[–]Nikelu 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yep seriously,had saved the page just to read it today and it got removed

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]Kingofkings2014 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damn why was this removed I bookmarked it to read it again for motivation

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this; I mean that sincerely.

Over the past 2 years I've seen this place slowly but surely become another complaint reddit, a justice porn substitute for men to come here and fantasize about cartoonish dominance and slave women.


It's ok to care. You don't have to be a sociopath to have a good life. It's ok to enjoy women. It's ok to like things and have certain vices.

If you want to be a gym rat or monk mode or any of these things, that's fine, the world is filled with a variety of people, just don't believe these are the only ways to be a man.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Great post.

Personally, I am of the mind that women love seeing you be passionate about something (provided it is something that turns them on.... being a musician, being a gym rat, etc..... being passionate about Halo 5 tournaments doesn't get a girl wet). Not fawning over a girl and buying her the world is not equivalent to IDGAF. People seem to underestimate that here, but you hit the nail on the head. Your passion for something will draw people to you in all aspects. If you take a purely IDGAF attitude toward everything in your life, you will never achieve anything or wind up with anything, because you don't give enough of a fuck to achieve it.

[–]Frenchwinepimp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmm....I never considered this aspect. I guess I have an advantage in that I am passionate and knowledgeable about French wine(something a lot of women consume but don't know about so much). Now how do I parlay that into getting laid more often at the age of 49 I wonder?

[–]--CASPER-- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes agreed bro I have been applying stocism to my life to much. But now I realise that if I really care about something, or if something piques my interest I should give a fuck!

[–]dbtlsdn999 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's a balance of them and it's a type of scale. If you're a good looking dude making six figure salary and a reputation, it's easier to have a idgaf attitude and make it work. But if you're an average guy with an average life, you'll have to approach people in order to engage them.

[–]Luckyluke23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're not putting her on a pedestal by approaching her. You're actually denying yourself the chance to put her up there.

Understand that you will naturally give less fucks as time goes on. This is key. The more women you interact with, the more sex you have, the more you encounter the same shit tests and recurring scenarios, the less fucks you will give. It's not something you have to force. It will happen naturally

you just blew my mind. well done good sir, well done.

great post man you really hit the nail on the head with this one.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great post. A lot of people don't understand, Stoicism doesn't work in every situation. Guys are so stung on this whole theory they've been taught of "Oh showing emotion is weak, showing affection in public is a pussy trait blah blah" that they don't know how to ignore that and be their own person.

It's not the showing that's weak, it's the inability to control them, and control how you show them.

[–]CardinalGuitar 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Right now 4,000 guys are breaking their keyboards and shoving guidelines at the screen.

That is the problem, there is so much advice out there. What actually works? We really don't know besides a compiled list of "field reports".

[–]recon_johnny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just like you don't live life exactly the same way as I do, there's options. IN SOME CASES, you do A. In others, you do B. In yet others, you make shit up and try something different.

The field reports give you examples of what can be done. Do some resonate with you? Good, try them. You really won't know what works until you experience a few.

What's the best technique? The one that works for you.

[–]Geox11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice post. Althought, keep in mind that PUAs usually work around 3 methods:

·Indirect: the crap you list as crap

·Direct: going right for intentions, worst example being like "hey, I like you, lets have sex!"

·Natural: being a better version of you. Talk to people, be social

Just needed to clarify that.

[–]samurai96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent post, I don't know if someone else has already posted of a similar nature but this is something more guys need to be told.

[–]Expectations1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IDGAF is more about not giving a fuck about the arbitrary rules society imposes on average people to keep everyone plugged in.

"Break the rules not the law" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

[–]submitted_5_days_ago 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As in every human interaction it's about economics. Credit and debit.

SMV is your currency. You have a good looking face? Vigorous body? Good mind? Own companies? Wide network? It's currency you can use in exchange for something else. In the SMP you buy sex through your currency.

When you spend it without receiving something back (yet) credit is created. With women you spend it through attention and time, some people through money too.

Hence, an appropriate amount of sex must be provided in exchange for your spent currency. Interests must be paid too, of course.

Your OP is about the balancing of spending your currency through time (when you're with her you're not doing something else) and attention (you listen to her shit and you must make her think you care).

What you say it's true. One just cannot not give a fuck. You cannot take the sex without giving something back which will be time, attention, and/or money.

An economical system can be gamed in two manners, one of them cannot be long term though unless a bubble bursts.

You can make her create an enormous amount of credit (i.e. you take the sex from her with the minimum amount of time and attention, just the logistic, the actual physical encounter; not giving any money to her).

That post which describes women as playing at the casino in their good years hoping to get out with the jackpot is about this model. They give the sex hoping to receive something in the future, that's credit.

Another way to game an economical system, which though will not be effective in the SMP, will be a little more complex. It's about truly manipulating a mind into believing he is gaining something of the same value of the money he is spending. It's not really an evil manipulation. The person will truly have something back for his money, but he cannot understand he is losing in the great game because his mind is working in a framework in which that something he received has value, but only in that particular framework.

[–]masnera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will compile TRP posts that i can read from time to time, that will remind me of what it must be, This is one of it. Thanks for this post bro.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is one of the best posts I've read in the entire subreddit. Bravo!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


The only thing I will add to this is our inherent biologic imperative which drives all things we do, even if we think we are above it.

We want to fuck

I have long ago accepted that everything I do is subconsciously driven by that desire. I do not pretend that women are a supplement, they are the sole source for which I live and prosper. However, one is just as good as another. So while females are the focus, there are enough for none of them to be important enough to matter.

[–]retired_destro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why was this removed? This was groundbreaking for me.

[–]winstrol 2 points2 points [recovered]

Yep, i talked about this earlier. As a guy who went from nerd to roided out hot guy i can pretty much make a girl blush just by saying how pretty her eyes are or whatever. Ez pz.

[–]7prince7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You just described yourself as a 'roided out hot guy'.

I don't know what to say but I'll just let that sink in.

[–]MachoMonk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good post. I recently began to go back to BP ways of trying to hard for acceptance and this ties into what I'm applying from now on. My Lifting/Rugby performance is priority and if i see a girl i want to talk to on my path, I'm not going to think about it and become outcome dependent.

[–]AlphaTrainee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way I see it it's not up to you to worry about what she thinks about your advances. Your one goal is to get laid and you have to be selfish when it comes to attaining that goal. This means pushing the interaction to the extreme both physically and verbally. If she has a problem with something you're doing she'll let you know.

[–]1StoicCrane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The IDGAF mentality equates to the phrases "stop stressing" and "go with the flow". Not giving a fuck doesn't have to be framed in a negative light just redefined so men new to TRP get it.

[–]Uptonogood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the takeaway is: Be true to yourself and your desires. Don't be a phony.

[–]clonegreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. I used to teether on either being too invested or playing the role of "cool IDGAF attitude".

Neither was fun for me or real. Now that I just take what I find interesting and incorporate other people, it's made conversations more dynamic, where even if I can't close with a woman, at least it gained me useful knowledge.

[–]onthephonewithgod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me modify some of the advice given here.

If you want to be something that you are not, then you have to put in the work and change.

If you DO give a fuck but don't want to, then I suggest you keep faking it until you make it. This is particularly relevant to MGTOW.

[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not giving a fuck works well..but the problem is you don't give a Fuck Abby more when you get it down. You lose interest ;i believe thats what happened to me , and I've been subtly more MGTOW

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still my favorite piece of advice in this sub.

[–]DforDeadpool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post is really good, brother. Preach.

[–]Rasalom72 -1 points0 points  (5 children)

I would love for you to site some examples from your own personal experience doing this, and how it went down versus using more of and IDGAF attitude.

While the theory seems sound, it seems like it might be more of the "just be yourself" crap that women keep telling us. And we all know how that turns out.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Cold approached in a library once, back when I was in college. Saw a tall girl studying and I really have a thing for tall women. Walked over and said, "Hey, I don't want to interrupt. I just wanted to come over and say hi."

We chatted. It wasn't anything life shattering, what you would expect from two people getting to know each other. But the actual approach got her going and she invited me to her place a few days later.

Same thing in college at a coffee shop. Another tall girl (sue me) sitting alone. Basically the same approach. We traded pleasantries and I swear to god she never stopped smiling like an idiot after that. Not during our conversation. Not later on when we passed each other on campus. It was like I had given her a million dollars just by introducing myself.

So no, don't "just be yourself." Talk like a normal person in a normal social setting. I mean it's really obvious you want something more anyway and if "be yourself" equates to "blurt out your basest desires desperately" then no. Never ever do that.

The fun of the game is that everyone knows it's happening. The moment you call attention to it, you're not being yourself. You're giving up and deflating the tension.

[–]Endorsed ContributorClint_Redwood 8 points9 points  (1 child)

if "be yourself" equates to "blurt out your basest desires desperately" then no. Never ever do that.

Haha, some mother fucker is going to take your post literally, walk up to a girl and go, "I want smash dat ass!!!!"

There is always that one guy.

[–]7prince7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha everytime I read a post on here I love thinking of the kids who are going to do that kinda shit the next day.

[–]Badwilly_poe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got, you are on a clock, and you must care or else you wouldn't even be doing whatever. I think the whole IDGAF has gone over OP's head. You don't care, I don't care etc, doesn't mean we cant be introspective of, well I had hoped that would have worked. You Just cant Show it, ever = IDGAF (IMO)

[–]chrisindub -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Every single guy every minute of every day uses the "give a fuck" approach...

That's why girls do not respond to it.

Because they see it all day every day.

It's not about pretending you don't give a fuck, it's about presenting an intriguing alternative to what girls are tired of seeing.

[–]2Sepean -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We have a very different understanding of what IDGAF means. You seem to think it means apathy or something weird.

It doesn't.

It's more along the lines of IDGAF that what I want inconveniences people.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

I don't understand why you're being voted up. Your post is full of holes and conflicting advice.

Not giving a fuck equals outcome independence in allot of ways. This means that you have goals (a.k.a needs/cares/wants) but that you know you will be fine regardless of the result of one encounter.

You don't care about any one thing in particular, you care about the larger picture. This puts you in control of your own happiness.

[–]Badwilly_poe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yup yup, IDGAF about HER, I care about myself and my goals but she can either suck it or move along.

[–]ripross -2 points-2 points [recovered]

This seems like a repost of something a while back...

[–]masnera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

give a link bro, i would also l love to read it.