Field ReportWhat Craigslist taught me about abundance mentality (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by SILV3R-BACK

Been a lurker for quite some time; this is my first post.

I was selling some big ticket items on Craigslist. I initially only had one interested buyer, who was very picky and difficult to work with. I begrudgingly jumped through a bunch of hoops because I was desperate for the sale. Later, when I had many prospective buyers, I nexted the guy because A) I was tired of dealing with his bullshit, and B) I had plenty of other options available. Cue epiphany.

Body I decided to sell a lot of stuff to make some space in my garage. One of the items that I was selling was a very expensive, nearly-new treadmill with all the bells and whistles. I still used it occasionally, and I didn't want to sell it for the peanuts that most of the other shitty 15 year old treadmills on CL were going for. I put some effort into the post (I have a sales background), and took some attractive, well-lit photos of the machine. My price was firm and reasonable.

Within an hour of posting the ad that morning, I had a guy text me and say he was interested. We discussed logistics, and then made a plan later that evening for him to come pick it up. I was pleased. I thought I had the sale in the bag. I was going to get a fat wad of cash while simultaneously clearing out a huge amount of space in my garage. I was also grateful, because as the hours ticked by at work, I received no more responses; his was my only bite.

Fast forward to later that afternoon, and suddenly this guy is inundating me with questions and concerns. He wants to know the exact dimensions of the device, down to the inch (I'm at work, can't help you, sorry). He asks me if I know if the treadmill will fit in the back of his SUV (htf am I supposed to know that?!). He wants to know if I can provide a truck or a trailer to transport the thing to his house (fuck no). He's mad because I no longer have the User's Manual, and then when I told him that you can find the user's manual online he asks me if I can put it on a thumbdrive for him (also fuck no).

At this point I'm starting to lose my shit, but I keep picturing that fat wad of cash in my hand and all that free space in my garage. I don't want to lose the sale. After all, he's the only one who's asked me to dance so far. Beggars can't be choosers.

So I acquiesce, as best I can. I put off my work to go Google searching for an hour, and I manage to find the User's Manual and email it to him. I even extrapolate the dimensions of the treadmill and helpfully type them up in big, bold numbers right at the top of the email. This seemed to appease him. We still had firm plans for him to come by and pick it up in a few hours.

Around this time, I received a couple of texts from others interested in the treadmill. They seemed genuine and eager, but I am a man of my word, so I politely told them that it was already spoken for, but if anything happened (ie the guy flaked), I would let them know. In hindsight this was pretty stupid. I've been in the business world long enough to know that money talks, bullshit walks, but I was trying to be polite, and plus I had already spent so much time and energy setting up the initial buyer (sunken cost fallacy much?)

So finally I made it home, got my garage open and ready to help Mr. Needypants load up his shiny new treadmill. Our agreed meeting time came and went. I waited (maybe he's stuck in traffic). And waited (maybe he just stopped and grabbed dinner, and now he's on his way). And waited... for four fucking hours, when finally I get a text from him.

He wants to know if I can pack it up myself and deliver it to him at his place.

An interesting thing happened at this point. I should have been furious. I should have sent him a long, hate-filled rant about personal responsibility, being a man of your word, and the dangers of wasting people's time. Instead I just typed five words:

no thanks got another buyer

And that was it. I shot one of the other guys a text, and within an hour the new buyer was at my house, cash in hand, ready to load up the treadmill. He even brought a friend with him to help load; I didn't have to do anything other than collect money and drink my beer while they did all the heavy lifting.

Now it could have panned out differently. The other buyers could have flaked, and I could have found myself wishing I would have just sucked up my pride, loaded the damn machine, and driven it to his house. With enough hoop-jumping on my part, I probably could have still made the sale, but I would have been compromising my goal. My goal was NOT to jump through hoops and spend a bunch of time and energy trying to make the sale. So instead I examined the evidence and made a decision. The evidence pointed to this guy being a pain in the ass to work with, who seemed hell-bent on wasting my time. The other buyers seemed eager and straight forward, and even if they didn't pan out, past experience had shown me that there were several people out there looking to buy what I was selling. Eventually someone else would have come along. The time I was wasting with the first bozo was probably better spent pursuing other prospective buyers.

At this point I had a moment of self awareness that I was literally exercising abundance mentality, and that was when the epiphany struck. I thought I had fully understood the concept, but I was wrong. Abundance mentality is not just about having other options, it's about recognizing whether or not those options will help you achieve your goals more efficiently. It's also about being dispassionate when moving on from the fact that you have sunk valuable time, energy, and resources into a course of action that hasn't led to the attainment of your goals. It's easy to get bitter and caught up in the emotion of your losses, but emotional reasoning is a woman's game. Men are about goals. Men are about efficiency. Being efficient means knowing when to cut your losses and move on to greener pastures.

Lessons Learned Abundance mentality does not mean you have to have abundance right now, it means recognizing whether or not your current efforts and resource expenditures are aligning with your goals in order to lead you to abundance.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 191 points192 points  (13 children)

The first guy was exploiting your sunk cost fallacy to make you do ever increasing amounts of work, drop the price, then when you finally deliver it, he offers you a lower price (on a pretext to make it look reasonable, eg "it's not in its new box") and you take it so that you don't have to take it home and unpack it again.

[–]omegalot 57 points58 points  (3 children)

Can't agree with this more. I've used this same tactic myself in order to emotionally tangle the person and make them jump through hoops just so I can lower the price to what I want to pay and if not, I just walk away. The key is not to go too far, in OP's case, the guy was being too indecisive and annoying.

[–]mirl 25 points26 points  (2 children)

20 bucks for that table?

... eh howabout you deliver it and give me your daughter for 2 years and I'll think about it

[–][deleted] -6 points-6 points

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[–]snakeob 17 points18 points  (6 children)

That's when you raise the price or take it home...

[–]DGer 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Exactly what I did with a pair of football tix I tried to sell on CL. I met the guy at the agreed upon location. He was twenty bucks short of the agreed upon price. Time was running out to get them sold, so I'm sure he figured I'd cave. I told him I'd rather keep the tix even though I couldn't use them than sell them to him and started to leave. Suddenly a wild $20 bill appeared and he now had the agreed upon price trying to get me to not leave with the tix. This strengthened my resolve. I was never going to sell those tickets to him.

[–]suijuris301 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. Whenever you get low balled in person, always say no. There's more pressure on the buyer to capitulate (in person) than you might realize.

[–]Harry_Fraud 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Time is money. Some people value the emotions of getting a good deal over the time it takes for them to do so. It's like driving 30 miles for 20¢/gal. cheaper gas, and only buying eight gallons

[–]dingman58 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a good deal what's your point! /s

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But you're the one who has done all the work. The other guy has done nothing so if you walk away you lose not him.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same reason Gamestop gets away with murder on returned video games. They know three things almost always apply to the seller:

  1. They have collected the games they no longer want
  2. They have no idea what they're really worth - haven't done any research prior to showing up at the store
  3. They'd rather take five dollars for a game than return back home, back at square one

[–]RedWinter88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had this happen to me. I was selling a DSLR lense I bought new, used like twice, and never touched it again. My price is equal to lowest used price on Amazon, and its PERFECTO condition. We agree on the price and meet halfway, 30min drive. He tries this crap on me saying his wife only gave him X amount and blah and points out its used.

I just held frame, refused anything less than the price we agreed to and was willing to drive back home. Made him drive to the bank to get the rest of money.

[–]locrian1986 77 points78 points  (8 children)

I wonder if he was being controlled by his wife/girlfriend . His behavior is 100% beta and I've experienced cases where men back down on choices involving money once they went home and talked it with their female overlord.

[–]SILV3R-BACK[S] 59 points60 points  (2 children)

You know in hindsight, I think you may be onto something. Still, fuck that guy.

[–]Jigsus 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I use the "wifes against it" excuse all the time. I was never married.

[–]dingman58 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same. I even use it with friends who know I'm not married

[–]RedBaron200 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hell yes! I used to run a flight school. We would frequently encounter guys in the midst of their mid-life crises who seemed very enthusiastic about signing up for flight training. I spent a lot of time with the first few. I'd answer every question they could think of, give them a tour of the facilities, show them the airplanes, etc. Some would even buy a $350 student pilot kit.

Disappointedly, only 1 out of 10 would ever get to lesson one. I quickly figured out that the ones who mentioned having to talk to their wives or girlfriends first were never coming back. I never understood why they felt the need to discuss it with their wives or girlfriends if they could afford it. Post-TRP, it all made sense.

[–]Darkwoodz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk, I think the buyer was being pretty smart negotiator. Almost like using abundance mentality as a buyer rather than seller. He knew he could dick around OP and probably try to get him to drop the price at the last second. If the buyer was unsuccessful, he could just buy a different treadmill.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Where do you get that from? To me the buyer is trying to get OP to do a lot of unnecessary shit(manual, who the fuck uses those) so that in turn OP would become frustrated and longing to sell and get this shit over with, unlucky for the buyer#1 OP got another buyer, if that wouldn’t have happened OP would probably deliver the treadmill to him and buyer#1 would want a lower price for whatever reason which OP probably would adhere to because he is so frustrated with this dudes shit and doesn’t want to take the treadmill back again.

[–]Stythe 30 points31 points  (16 children)

I love CL sales. I had one guy tell me the price I wanted for my wii u was a ripoff, as if he would find a cheaper one or as if I gave a shit. I had an angry dude tell me the price I wanted for an amplifier was too much but then tell me to keep his number in case I changed my mind.

CL makes you the seller. If you have patience you can wait for the right buyer. People are coming to you because you have what they want. When you learn that feeling you can use it elsewhere.

[–]thepythonist 11 points12 points  (14 children)

I got to see true abundance when I was looking for a job. I sent out my resume to a dozen companies and almost all of them started wooing me ! Got offered perks and everything under the sun.

Ultimately I "settled" with a firm that gave a pretty high salary, big fat esop and managed by a kick ass CEO.

The experience I had was alike how someone would describe hypergamy. I got the best options but I still waited to "put out" for the offer that gave me the most resources. I don't think I can blame women for hypergamy after experiencing it.

[–]Magnum256[🍰] 3 points4 points  (13 children)

This is why I don't understand the disdain towards hypergamy thats often spouted on this sub. Women just want the best deal they can get, but why wouldn't they? I guess it sucks if you think honor and loyalty and love are supposed to really mean something only to discover your woman will next you as soon as she secures a "better" guy, but ultimately it's just smart business.

Men look for the biggest, best deal too, and if females were the sex fulfilling the leadership/provider/security role in relationships then I believe men would be just as guilty of hypergamy.

[–]1Goomich 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is why I don't understand the disdain towards hypergamy thats often spouted on this sub. Women just want the best deal they can get, but why wouldn't they? I guess it sucks if you think honor and loyalty and love are supposed to really mean something only to discover your woman will next you as soon as she secures a "better" guy, but ultimately it's just smart business.

Yeah, but when you change a job do you take with you: company's HQ, product, half other assets and make them pay you salary for years?

[–]EatmyShorts59 -1 points0 points  (10 children)

I agree bro !

We all want to (Men & Women) capture the most happiness in our short lives.

[–]leinaD-Backwards -5 points-4 points  (9 children)

Don't say that here... Women exist to please and be owned by us. We can't see them as humans in exactly the same position as us!

It makes me laugh when I see posts here about women playing a numbers game meaning they are a slut. What the fuck are half this sub doing??? All that means is you can't face facts when beaten at your own game making you more beta than ever.

Weird how TWP rules dictate that women cannot think like men trying to be successful too.

It's a really weird mindset to have, like we are a different species in direct competition.

It's even weirder how powerful women like powerful men but the men here who make out they are powerful chase down some tinder girl that plays directly into their hands. WTF

[–]EatmyShorts59 -1 points0 points  (8 children)


I somewhat follow you.

We just have to remember that everyone is at different stages in their lives.

TRP Means something different to each member - our job is to find what works best for us .

[–]leinaD-Backwards 0 points1 point  (7 children)

TRP, my bad.

Yes, but works best for you, me or us is not gender exclusive.

This sub is brilliant for job advise and general motivation but the idea that women cannot be nearly as successful, intelligent or operate in the same fashion is obviously false.

[–]zue3 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It's not that they can't be, it's that the overwhelming majority of them don't bother. Which, as far as I'm concerned, means they never could. You either prove your worth or accept that you never had any.

[–]leinaD-Backwards -1 points0 points  (2 children)

It's exactly the same for men... why even bother distinguishing

[–]zue3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because men and women are different. By their very nature they are distinguishable.

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[–]leinaD-Backwards 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You're insane. There is nothing separating us in this department...

[–]AttackByFire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too enjoy the CL dynamics. I just don't care about people on CL. "You've priced too high!" "you've priced too low!" "would you take an offer if it was $20 less and in cash?". F off. My price. Pick it up. Cash only.

[–]whisky1111 50 points51 points  (10 children)

There is also an element of luck involved. Your "lucky break" was getting the interested buyers later on. Have you not have gotten those you would have either been schlepping the thing to the needy guy's house or it would still be sitting in your garage or you would have been working to find another buyer.

I think the absolute hardest thing about abundance mentality is maintaining it even though the chance exists that abundance might not come. If a man can do that then he has truly made it.

It's very tempting during the lean times to stiffen up and get a scarcity mindset, these are the times that test your abundance mentality.

[–]SILV3R-BACK[S] 38 points39 points  (2 children)

This is what I was trying to address. So many people think abundance mentality is just pretending like you have 50 other girls just waiting to hop on your D, even if said girls don't exist.

I think that misses the point. True abundance mentality is understanding that you are a man of value, and that you possess a lot of qualities that other women will find attractive, even if the current girl you're chatting up does not. This value and attraction will lead to an abundance of plate-ready HBs. And if it doesn't, then abundance mentality means you are confident that the course of action you are taking will EVENTUALLY get you to that place.

It's "I'm a man who has abundance" vs "I'm a man who's high SMV commands abundance". It's an inward reflection, rather than an outward fabrication.

[–]jm51 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I'm a MGTOW in my middle 60s that is happily retired. Unashamed slob and loving every minute of it. I prefer younger women with a decent figure. In their 30s preferred, in their 40s maybe. Where I live that means either druggies or crazies. I do tend to attract the crazies, might be genetic. :)

They turn up or they don't. Whatever. I'm happy with them, until they piss me off or I'm happy without them.

I'm happy either way.

[–]1jb_trp 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I think the absolute hardest thing about abundance mentality is maintaining it even though the chance exists that abundance might not come.

Agreed. With Tinder, cell phones, and online dating, women have countless options, and even if you've busted your ass to get into the top 20%, there's still plenty of competition and success is not guaranteed.

I find women come in waves for me. I've had three different Tinderellas offer to cook me dinner in the same week, and then I've had times where I couldn't secure a meetup for a week or two. I've had nights where I've met one girl while she was working at the indie movie theatre and took me in the projector room just to suck me off, and then went straight to an even hotter girl's house to spend the night. And then I've many days where I've nexted all my plates and didn't get my dick wet for a week or two. It's just life.

You always have to keep your confidence up, not worry too much about any one girl, and understand that you could wake up on any given day and meet someone new and fuck her brains out within an hour. Remember: You are the prize, regardless of whether they buy it or not.

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points

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[–]1jb_trp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You caught me. Half my posts are probably humble brags... Shit, everyone on this sub should live their life like it's one big humble brag. Who doesn't want to be the Muhammed Ali of spinning plates?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Luck" is opportunity that if you are prepared to recognize and act on it, that luck will favor your preparedness. ; )

[–]Pires007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While there is an element of luck, OP improved his chances the best he could. He had something worth selling, and he also used his marketing skills to make it more alluring. There was thought and effort behind it, all factors under OPs control.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I know that feeling, I've made several bad investments in several different women in the past, in the end the only investment worth a shit is in yourself

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much why I go to the gym.

[–]apachemd 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Abundance mentality does not mean you have to have abundance right now, it means recognizing whether or not your current efforts and resource expenditures are aligning with your goals in order to lead you to abundance."

This was really insightful. Thanks

[–]omegalot 34 points35 points  (21 children)

This is a good post, I've been through a similar situation myself. Just a month ago, I had about enough with my job and decided to aggressively send out resumes to various companies in my industry. Now, usually when I hear back I'll then begin to research the company and see what it's all about. End of the week comes and I'm set up with two job interviews. Company 1 is small, mid level salary, and reviews are good. Now company 2 is much larger, has a high salary (10k more) but the reviews are just awful, I'm talking fucking Mama June awful. I say fuck it, I'll interview both to get a feel for the companies.

The interview with company 1 was great but lo and behold, company 2 cancels and asks to reschedule. I'm a little ticked but the 10k more in salary entices me and clouds my judgment...up until I find out I was supposed to interview with 4 people and since one couldn't do it, she canceled the whole interview (I offered to interview with only her at a later date since it was better for my schedule but she declined). I still reschedule the interview.

A week goes by and the time comes for the interview with the second company and guess who cancels 30 mins before? Me. I can't have a woman boss that acts like an idiot even before I join the company. 10 grand might be a lot for me at this stage in my career, but no thanks, I'm not gonna suffer at a terrible company with a terrible boss.

Edit: Just to elaborate a bit further, I did not have an offer when I canceled the interview. As OP mentioned above in a reply, abundance mentality is about having confidence in the value of yourself (or in OP's case, what he's selling) and assuming that you'll get a "buyer" for that value or more. In my case, I knew my value and what I wanted, it would have been a waste of time going to the interview for a situation that might have intangible complications.

[–]CaptainIncredible 33 points34 points  (8 children)

I can't have a woman boss that acts like an idiot even before I join the company.

You dodged a huge bullet there. All of the absolute worst managers I've ever had have been women.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

That is a great quote I've heard before "Not all female bosses are terrible, but the terrible ones seems to always be women."

[–]CaptainIncredible 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That has been my experience. And when I started my professional career I was the most non-biased employee ever.

I'm still am non-biased, but my experience speaks for itself.

[–]Jkrew 1 points1 points [recovered]

I made the mistake of taking the first job I could find out of college. Fortunately it was exactly what I went to school for. Unfortunately the 3rd interview got delayed. And I waited for it. I should have declined the offer. It was a majority female company and I dealt with so much stupid bullshit.

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[–]Jkrew 4 points4 points [recovered]

It starts innocent. A meeting moved here. A deadline pushed up there. But then a few months in your weeks start getting insane. The worst day I had was when I traveled an hour to see a client for 5 and a half hours. Then I traveled back to the office. Only to be instantly hit by three different people trying to prioritize their projects before the other persons. Each saying they'll take the blame for it. And then having the CEO (who was a woman) cancel and internal strategy meeting that was scheduled the next day and tell me she had other plans scheduled weeks before. It was a mind fuck how clogged up the work flow would get because they brought in more work than they could ever deliver on. They always delivered half ass reports to clients. Of course the clients never knew all the info that got left out but I would from behind the scenes. That's the problem with gov funding women orgs. They get business they have no right being in. I'll admit they were ambitious. But the quality lacked horrendously. I worked my ass off in a shit salary position learning as much as I could and with that came more responsibility and more shit. It was like the worst form of hazing. Except you never progressed. You only got more responsibility to contribute more to horribly managed projects.

P.S. I've been drinking and typed this up on mobile while smoking a cigar. So forgive the rant.

[–]omegalot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, the little subtle changes are the worst. In my old job, my beta boss would be "manhandled" by women a position under him all the time, he failed to realize that them cancelling meetings or kicking him out of conference rooms they forgot to book for but urgently needed was not acceptable. Then he constantly complained about how he was not respected or people never implemented his ideas to projects.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 4 points5 points  (10 children)

If your gut feeling was telling you that was the right move, it's a high probabilily that it was was. But in hindsight, it could have been a missed opportunity. Canceling 30 min before the meeting is not very professional, and you'll never really know how everything could have unfolded. If $10.000 matters so much, 2 hours of your time when you had nothing planned was nothing. If anything, it would have been worth it just for the experience alone, to be interviewed by 4 persons at once, evaluate the market and help your interview game for the next gig.

You didn't know why she cancelled. Maybe she was 7 months pregnant and had a late doctors appointment, and about to go in maternal and out of the office for your entire stay there, and the others wanted to give her this last chace to act important. It might sound far fetched, but I had this happened to me way back. Maybe she was not about to be your direct boss after all. Or maybe she was one of those rare women that was actually good at her job, the only good one in the bunch that were responsible for the bad reviews, and wanted to rebuild the team, and that is why she was important for the meeting. Projecting is useful, but knowing trumps it. And 10,000 is better than a short ego boost.

[–]omegalot 14 points15 points  (8 children)

It could have been a missed opportunity, but the point is I didn't want to work there even if they offered me more money. Few details I didn't include:

Red flag 1: Out of the 4 interviewers, 3 were women.

Red flag 2: I was told by a trusted coworker (who has worked in my industry for 5+ years) the company was a complete joke, hence why they have to offer 10k more in order to compete for candidates.

Red flag 3: When I offered a solution (to interview with only her at a later date since it was better for my schedule), she refused. There's no point to be so stubborn, I'm not going to constantly call out or take off from my current job to fucking interview with you.

The takeaway is: if it quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it's a fucking duck.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 6 points7 points  (7 children)

Red flag 1 and 2 are quite important facts that you left out of the story.

Red flag 3, not sure why you say 'constantly' when it only happened once. In the adult world meetings get canceled or postponed all the time. I did it, others did it to me. Big fucking deal. I don't think twice about it unless it is recurring.

You weren't really interested in working there in the first place, and the moment they gave you a reason not to, you gave them the finger. That's like going to a bar and chating up a fat chick just because she's in front of you. You don't really want to fuck her but you do want to get your dick wet without loosing time, so the moment you see her hinting she is not that easy you start having a fit on her.

That said, based on what you are saying I am sure it was a place to avoid.

[–]omegalot 6 points7 points  (6 children)

My man (or woman), you've missed the whole point of this thread, it's called abundance mentality and how my example relates to that philosophy. Not if I made the right decision or not, get that tampon out of your ass and start thinking critically instead of living your life in what-ifs or if-nots.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Abundance mentality would have been if you knew what you wanted and didn't want. And you didn't want the job from the get-go, but was hoping for the extra money. You read the reviews and had a close friend from the inside tell you what's happening there. Yet you still persuied it, only because of the what-if and if-not in your mind. Eventually you realized the 10k wouldn't come that easy, and now you're bragging how you ended it because you wouldn't take shit from them. You can puff your chest all you want, attack and preach how I don't understand, but at the end of the day you simply persuied a fat chick that wasn't going to be an easy lay, and you're bragging how you stopped persuing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This is retarded from the first line.

Abundance mentality would have been if you knew what you wanted and didn't want.

half-correct conceptually, totally wrong in context.

First, if your concept was true we would call the hopeless beta chasing his slutty hypergamous unicorn a true alpha warrior. Yes still it's true, but more about abstract than actual, localized things. Abundance is in the means: you know you want money, you find the best way and don't settle below your price. You want good pussy, you don't chase to death the first hottie giving you a minute of her time. Because both are MEANS to get where you want.

Second, in this context, op originally thought he wanted money, then he realized he related money to the actual stress related to acquiring it and he called out.

Abundance is realizing you have options and then, a choice to make. He made that choice. The rest is not scarcity versus abundance, it's value hierarchy.

You don't realize his hierarchy may differ. Abundance mentality is also not ambition. (the two may correlate, but they aren't the same thing.) I hope (for you) you don't take this as an insult but as an honest thought. Your post literally made no sense to my concept of abundance and was actually quite the opposite of it. In the case you don't realize your mistake, i guess we will agree to disagree.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I actually agree with most of what you are saying. My problem is how op is hamstering his actions. He knew from the beginning the company stinked, and still persuied it. That's not always a problem, as sometimes you want to be sure, but when the first small problem arrived (a postponed meeting), he called it quits and hamstered it to look like he was above it and wasn't going to take shit from them because of abundance mentality. He got a date with a fat women, got stood up, planned a second date and stood her up in the last minute and bragged about how he's above her and has other options.

He also pulled out at the first confirmation bias, without really knowing anything more about the company than he did before, and if it's as bad as expected.

Right or wrong, that's my view. And this is dragging too long to continue.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok i see your point, although you may have argumented it better imo (the fat lady comparison was good in the matter), but it's there.

Well he may have not started with abundance mentality, but achieved some of it in the process. We all do it this way if you consider life as a process. But his understanding was then right: no need to chase fat ladies when you can snap a hottie... if that's not your thing, that is. Anyway thanks for claryfying.

[–]omegalot -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Few insights I want everyone to know from this back and forth to minimize confusion:

1) When writing a reply to a post, you don't have to include every little detail in order to justify your response. My post was simple, straightforward and relevant to OP's post, I don't have to include all the details because my story is an example to relate to OP's story.

2) When thinking critically, giving the benefit of the doubt to the person that stinks of bullshit will lead you down a slippery slope and get you fucked.

Now, as a reply to aDrunkedWhaler:

I knew what I wanted and was willing to interview with company 2 for the job, but the more research I did, the more it became clear that the job would not be worth it from a cost/benefit perspective. It seems like you're trying to push your own narrative onto my situation without understanding the flaws in your logic. Just read your response again, it's like you're trying to retell the story in order to justify your argument, kinda like the light-switch effect.

Also, for your example of a fat chick not being an easy lay, I'd give a better example for my situation. It's more of an HB8 (company1) that's LTR material versus a HB9 (company 2) that's bi-polar with a hint of psycho. Any man would want the HB9 over the HB8, but not if she's a psycho.

Edit: It seems obvious to me that you've probably been on the receiving end of being suckered and you're trying to justify whatever that you did was right, even though you understand now it was a mistake or that you've cancelled meetings before just to have them come back and bite you in the ass.

[–]detachedbymarriage 9 points10 points  (6 children)

The interesting part, this is exactly how women do business. If you ever watch a woman sell something on craigslist...

They create a list of options, then pick the one who gives them the easiest sell with the highest profit.

This could easily translate into the way they work their sexual imperative.

They create a list of possible mates, find the one who is the least work but with the highest returns, then go for it.

[–]leinaD-Backwards -1 points0 points  (5 children)

That is utter bullshit.

That's called logical thought and everyone uses it. Just because you feel that the approach makes you the victim but if you were to do it you'd make a bragging post.

What the fuck, that's weak mindset at best there. Smart decision making is not a bad trait

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]detachedbymarriage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you look at his post history, you'll see he is a very angry individual who also happens to "help" women in the feminism sub.

[–]zue3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't bother, it's just another beta still in the process of purging his BP attitude. There's always at least one in every thread.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]morphite65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely a difference in values, irrespective of moral implications. Money vs honor. Many men have the same priority.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This mentality works in all aspects of life, from business to dating to friends.

If you have a good product, something you know people want, and you market it properly, then the people will come; the people are followers they know nothing else, you show them what they want and then they want it.

Abundance Mentality starts with hard work and confidence, you have to create something great, something worth buying, and you have to be confident in what you've made.

It's something that "fake it til you make it" doesn't apply to because false abundance mentality is the first thing to go under pressure.

When a negotiation or shit test is upon you, false abundance mentality is the first thing that washes away.

[–]BigGeek43 6 points6 points [recovered]

I was trying to sell my house by myself but I had no buyers. Eventually i got one offer which was low ball and had many conditions. I had a feeling that I'm not gonna be happy if I accepted it. I had to do something to get more buyers. So I hired a stager. She asked me to move my furniture to a garage and did a miracle with my place decorating it like it was a model home. In 3 days I had buyers coming for a showing and staying at my house for an hour or more not wanting to leave. On a weekend I had an open house and had 4 buyers fighting for it. Eventually I got 3% over asking. And asking price was higher than I originally listed it for. Abundance all the way. I also sell my stuff now on kijiji before I move to a new place to minimize the junk I accumulated over the years. I've got some 18 listings right now. I've read awesome books on copywriting and this is my practice. Take awesome photos, write awesome copy, lots of it and you get abundance of buyers. Sell anything, buy silver coins and in a couple of years you're rich beyond belief. 1 ounce of silver right now is 16 bucks. Dirt cheap. Should be at least a hundred. And it will be soon. Lack of abundance at some moments basically means you just need more or better marketing to make your product more attractive. Grow muscles, dress better and you get abundance of women.

[–]jm51 6 points7 points  (0 children)

1 ounce of silver right now is 16 bucks. Dirt cheap. Should be at least a hundred. And it will be soon.

Silver is a really strange investment. As you say, it should be $100 plus real soon. Downside is that that has been true for a long long time and it hasn't happened yet. Assuming you ignore the Hunt brothers manipulation of the market a long time ago.

As the old saying goes, the market can be irrational for longer than you can stay solvent.

There is sort of a stable market in junk silver. ie, old coins that have silver content. People buy them for their silver content ignoring that there is a cost to refining them but traditionally, they do tend to sell for the intrinsic value of the silver.

Market forces, if junk silver sells for spot price, (of actual silver content) then junk silver is worth spot price. Extra bonus is that youngsters like to play with the coins.

Silver is the ultiimate lottery ticket. You either win a lot or don't lose much. Depending on when you buy of course.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I sold few of my cars on Craiglist for the past 10 years, they are around 25k-50k price range.

Been in business culture long enough to know what to do.

1>take DSLR grade photos without those shitty filters, good description, a good reason why you are selling it. I just take photo with my new car and claim garage does not fit anymore.

2>Calls only. Amazing filter! When people call they are more likely to be serious.

This is one of the most important mindset:

3>First come first serve. It does not matter who called first, what matters is the one pay first. Guys, we are not competing about how many calls you can get, how many people 'check' your item, but sell your item. Always remember your goal: sell.

4> After it is sold, delete the advertisement, or mark sold on the title. From my experiences all my sales happened within 3 days.

Final pro tip: get a bill counter if you sell anything that involve with larger amount of cash.


Added: What car I sold for 50K? 2002 LX470 with 50k miles.

What car I sold for 25k? 2005 Mercedes S55 AMG with 60k miles.

After I realized how fast cars depreciate, I don't give fuck about exotic car anymore.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I actually had a lady once write me a hate fuelled email after I sold an item she was initially interested in. She was thinking I owe her holding the item for her. Lady I don't owe you shit, because I did that before and the amount of times people fucked me over by not showing up is ridiculous. Why would I care who I sell it to? First come first serve. Unless you say you are on your way to pick it up I'm not gona hold it for you for days declining all other offers.

[–]Vajesticles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Needed this kind of read right now. Fantastic fucking post. Blows my mind all the time when you realize how much sales and women go hand-in-hand.

[–]Black-Pill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A simple but very powerful and insightful allegory ....

Abundance Mentality is a Life Style Choice, regardless of whether it is sexual, material or spiritual.

[–]5pecial 4 points4 points [recovered]

Now just imagine if prostitution was legal...

[–]__safra__ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

it is legal but most people call it "dating". instead of money you exchange goods and services for sex.

[–]Praecipuus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sex not guaranteed, though.

[–]getbrettweir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been a retailer for almost 20 years and I have moved almost $40 million in product during that time.

What this has taught me is, there are some people you don't want to do business with and there are some people you don't want a relationship with.

In general, make yourself or your products as attractive as possible. If your customer or relationship partner doesn't recognize what your offering is of value, move to the next person. Don't waste a minute of time on that person.

[–]Marr0w1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sort of reminds me of how we were organizing a business deal recently. The first supplier we talked to was initially great and offered us heaps of perks, then as we continued negotiations and got closer to signing, some perks disappeared and their requirements got more annoying. Even though I hadn't talked to any other suppliers at that stage, I soft-nexted/ghosted them and found a much better supplier within a week. Even though I had already invested time and effort into the first supplier I was mindful of sunken cost fallacy and recognized when they wasting time

[–]ronsoness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

very nice analogy. one-itis is exactly this: you are blinded to the fact that there is so much better out there. instead, you're stuck with some difficult person and you're trying so hard to make it work because you're scared of losing this sale.

also, craigslist is an absolute shithole. except jobs, because those require them to pay to list.

[–]aazav 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's about learning that you can think that way and then realizing how to switch into that mode.

Great post.

[–]rubrikTaco 9 points10 points  (20 children)

My rules for selling shit on craigslist are simple, and come from experience gained by selling and buying literally hundreds of items over the years:

  1. Enter your first name and phone number into the ad. Disable the "contact by email" option.
  2. Big, bold letters in the first line of the ad: Call me any time between X am and X pm. Do not text me, I will not respond.
  3. No deliveries. Pick up from my place only. This is also stated in the first lines of the ad. I will never waste time going somewhere to meet a buyer.
  4. Cash only. No cheques. No trades.
  5. I give people a 10-minute buffer for getting to our appointment or getting in touch with me. If our appointment is for 4pm, and you show up at 4:15pm without having called or texted me, you will hear the words "go fuck yourself" and see the front door closed in front of you. Frequently enough I will just leave the house to do whatever I need to do, instead. My time is worth a lot more than any cash I will get from the sale, and there will always be someone else that will eventually buy the item.
  6. If you fuck with me, I will fuck with you: I once had a car for sale that was worth around $15k (eventually sold for $14.5). Many people low balled me with offers of $11-12k, and these I generally ignored. But one prick had the audacity to offer me "7k cash today only." So okay, I told him I was on assignment for work, 2 hours drive from where he was (I picked a random intersection off Google Maps), and had the paperwork with me. He could meet me at X pm (I timed it so he'd have to go right during rush hour). Once he got there I played the "be right there in 5 minutes" game with him for a half hour, then got bored and told him that's what happens to assholes who waste my time.

Regarding the "no texts": you would not believe the amount of morons who still send texts. This little rule is awesome for filtering out dumbasses that will end up wasting your time. I never, ever reply (as is always stated in the ad). I've had people get mad that I don't reply, I've had people ask to "make payments" for an $800 set of motorcycle leathers, I've had people offer me pink iPhones as part of payments, I've had people offer me literally half the asking price (and about a quarter of retail) because they were "a student and [had] no money," etc. etc. The amount of morons out there is staggering. Phone calls filter them out.

[–]dxfifa 6 points7 points  (1 child)

These people aren't all morons. they're testing to see if you are.

[–]rubrikTaco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they can't follow basic directions, they're in the moron group.

If someone calls me and says, "Hi 'my name from CL ad,' I'm calling about your ad listing item X for sale. I see you're asking X. Would you take [lower than X, perhaps on the cheaper side, but within realm of possibility]? I can come by such as such times," I will almost certainly go out of my way to accommodate them.

I've literally given items away for free (that they were willing to pay for) to people that were courteous, acted professionally, and showed up on time. But when it comes to assholes, they get what they have coming.

[–]JohnnyRaz 4 points5 points  (3 children)

What you pulled on the guy was childish and stupid, something a woman would do. The buyer is trying to get the item as low as possible just the same as you are trying to sell it for as high as possible. Some low offers are just tests and then you negotiate until you agree on a price. You don't like your time wasted why would you waste someone else's?

[–]rubrikTaco 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Offering $7k for a $15k item is not a "test." It is sheer stupidity combined with a serious case of being an asshole. Why don't you walk into a Lamborghini dealership and offer them half the asking price - see how far that "test" gets you.

Allowing such behaviour to continue without any return action is no different from condoning it. If you want that asshole to think twice about wasting your, or someone else's time again, you need to do something about it.

If a dog bites you, you don't simply say "oh well, I'm going to ignore this incident and hope for the best in the future." You give the dog a damn good correction, and teach it that actions have consequences.

Intentionally wasting my time will have consequences. Always.

[–]JohnnyRaz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What does a dog bite and the other bullshit have to do with simply just replying "no thanks, either make a better offer or no deal"? Stop being so emotional with such trivial bullshit. That's female like behavior.

[–]rubrikTaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see comprehension is not your strong point.

[–]InterNetting 7 points8 points  (6 children)

That's pretty fucked up man, just bc he made a lowball offer? Ruthless.

[–]rubrikTaco 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you don't respect people's time, don't expect them to respect yours. Life's a bitch, and some lessons need to be learned the hard way.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]InterNetting 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Anytime you advertise to sell something publicly with a negotiable price, you are going to get lowball offers. Cars, houses, etc. What he did is just bad karma.

[–]leinaD-Backwards 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not ruthless, just sad. OP thought and thinks he's MR bigshot because he wasted 20 mins of everyones time.


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I do texts and calls BUT!!! I do what you do.

If you call me past X, If you are late past X then, fuck you.

I learned the hard way when I waited 1 hour for someone who never showed up. Never again. Once it's closing time I leave.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I sold a good bunch of things on kijiji. For some reason every single buyer that contacted me asked me all the questions that were addressed in the ad. It pissed me off beyond belief and I couldn't wrap my head around why it was happening. Like literally shit like dimension, colour, my address - everything was in the ad, I posted links to products' official pages, none of that helped. I came to peace with the idea that there are a lot of dumbasses out there and I don't really have a choice but to appease them...

[–]rubrikTaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I'm asked questions that are explicitly detailed in the ad, I always reply with "what does the ad say?" After two-there of these replies they usually get the point.

[–]VancouverSucks 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Saying go fuck yourself and slamming the door is not very wise. There's a lot of crazies out there man, they know where you live.

[–]rubrikTaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There sure are, and they sure do. No problems so far.

[–]NolanHarlow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good post with some good themes here.

One piece of advice for those of you who don't have practical experience doing this: Have a yard sale and work on actively bartering with your customers. There's a ton of good that will come from it. 1. You'll offload some of your shit you don't need. 2. You'll make a few bucks. 3. You'll meet and interact with a lot of different people, and have the opportunity to try different approaches on them, all while... 4. having a very low cost of failure. Sold something a little too cheap? So what. It's a few bucks. You'll also get to practice your abundance mentality in real time, and learn how important your demeanor is to making a sale.

These are all things that translate to other areas of life.

[–]ErnieTheGrinch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got worked up just reading this. That dude is an inconsiderate idiot.

[–]absolucion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The one question I was hoping you'd answer was what this jerk's response was. The guy sounds like your typical millenial. Entitled and unable to communicate properly.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sell tvs on Craigslist and learned abundance mentality VERY quickly.

I no longer entertain: lowballers, flakers, and ppl who attempt to give me extra work. I next them.

[–]Endorsed ContributorClint_Redwood 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My father often tells me a story about when he was a kid. My Grandfather is a depression era child. My Grandmother grew up on dirt floors, no running water and no shoes. She didn't have electricity till she was 12. They grew up knowing full well how much a dollar is really worth. My grandfather could and would easily work 16 hour days, 6 days a week and he'd do 7 days if grandma wasn't religious and made him go to church.

My grandfather at the age of 20 started his own business. He built it from scratch in an 8x8 garage back in 1951. Today we own 3 locations and an floor space of around 80,000. But one story in particular with the evolution of the business stuck with me since i first heard it as a child.

My grandfather was a no bullshit, get your work done, don't talk, don't bitch and don't ever be late, kinda guy. Back then you could be fired for talking on the job. Hardcore redpill. Around the 1960's our business was expanding and we needed more room to continue operating. He saw this need long before it was urgent so he began saving money back for the new expenses. (Law 29 - plan to the end). He was a master of foresight and always hoped for the best but planned for the worst. He was also a perfectionist, my father recounts that grandpa on quiet a few occasions would spend hours re-balancing a check book just to find out why the books are a few pennies off.

Eventually he had enough to put down on a loan. Back then a man could shake another man's hand and that was good enough to be a legal transaction. He starting searching for some land to buy. Eventually he found a farmer willing to sell some acres to help my grandfather out. I think my father was around 5-10 years old at this time. He recounts visiting the new farmland a few times to play as my grandfather and some of his workers started hauling in lumber and building the new building. It took over a year to complete the entire project and they were getting ready to start prepping the machinery to move it to then new location.

Then one day my dad was playing at home. My grandparents back then very far from town and the one road leading to the house was miles long and a dirt road. They had an old dog that would lay in the road all day since maybe 1 or 2 cars would come down it a day. The dog could always tell when it was grandpa coming home though as he would stand up and start wagging it's tail. Like clock work, the dog stands up and starts getting excited to his his master like it's been 10 years since he's seen grandpa. My father can see his truck slowly making it's way down the dirt road, kicking up dust miles away. Finally he pulls up, steps out of the car and black from head to toe.

My father asks him, "Why are you so black dad?"

"Barn burn down"

He walks into the house, sits down on his desk and starts going over his check book. Grandma hands him his dinner, comforts him for a second and walks off to let him start for what to do tomorrow.

When you are a businessman, you have no use for emotions and decision making. Every minute you waste being angry, sad, mad, defeated or anything else is a minute wasted. I've been told a lot of stories like this, they sound so alien in todays world. It's always why i can't stand victim mentality and have no sympathy for people that complain they can't improve their lives. Our company has lost 90% of it's business 3 times since the 1950's and each time my father or grandfather weathers it off like it's an employee that stole some toilet paper.

I don't care if you don't have electricity, have never worn a par of shoes in your life or don't even have running water. You always have control over what you do with your time and how efficiently you use it. Just remember the clock is always ticking and you never get that second back.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice, ties in with my situation at this moment. Thanks.

[–]TheRealMouseRat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did you wait four hours? I would have waited maximum one hour before contacting the other buyers.

[–]taoofmojo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should look in to the Harvard photo copy experiment

[–]Renaissancepirate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best way to know you understand a concept is to be able to explain the same concept with something that seems to completely different.

Nice post OP.

[–]FatBoy1980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn man you got me thinking. I got this plate im spinning driving me insane with clingy bullshit all the time and I keep wanting to next this broad but I been feeling like I got all this time invested and blah blah blah... NEXT

[–]NietzscheExplosion -4 points-3 points  (6 children)

I don't buy or sell used anymore. NOT WORTH THE B.S for me. I'll pay myself (my time ) and just throw it to the curb.

People want to sell for about 15-10% off the store price... FUCK YOU. I'll pay taxes, happy, instead of tracking down your house.

[–]PaperAlpaca 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I never pay retail for anything if it's feasible to get away with it, I've gotten some really nice shit for cheap or free.

[–]NietzscheExplosion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure but people want way too much money for their used shit now.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]NietzscheExplosion 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sure, but that is less my experience whenever I go looking for stuff used. I bought something this week brand new off amazon with no shipping for 10 bucks less than 3 people had it used on kijiji(Canadian buy n sell thing). If you have time to comb over ads until you get lucky or it's a hobby, great. Otherwise, not usually worth the effort.

[–]southsideslugger -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this man is not alpha. He is beta bitch

[–]Scizzler -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Great, now apply it where it actually matters, with women, or none of this matters.

[–]TheRealNevaziah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you see the way broadly, you can see it in all things. - Miyamoto Musashi