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shuaiya has passed away. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by shuaiya

[removed]


[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 423 points424 points  (28 children)

This is my favorite comment from shuaiya, posted 9 months ago in TRP:

Missing the forest for the trees. Everything is a waste of time. Beautiful women are a waste of time. Making money is a waste of time. Rock climbing is a waste of time. Because experiences aren't permanent. Unless you are religious, then it's all a waste of time, and people cope with atheism/death/void in different ways. Most TRPs don't have a god to worship and believe in, and the idea of romance and marriage was completely ripped out from them, so instead they worship idols such as masculinity, progeneration, their father figures, brothers in arms, Darwin, and plenty of other abstracts such as the noble savage. Real men do whatever the fuck they want with their life. Sports can be included. Or not. TRP is about seeing truth and getting down to the blurry axioms and principles of society, not delegating schedules and hobbies. It's not about getting more women, it's about understanding why the techniques for getting more women work and applying it in whatever aspects of your life that you choose to. The cockup with praising, say, learning how to play an instrument over watching a sport is it implicitly means that person irrationally values production and enterprise. To the extent it has become a pagan god for them. I think what most of these people want to say is "sports is a waste of time if you want to get laid" "sports is a waste of time if you want to make more money" "sports is a waste of time if you want to read more books" But if you've personally gone through your own checklist and feel satisfied with your situation as is, then you should probably go spend your precious hours on whatever activity gives you the most enjoyment.

He lived his life how he wanted to. In the end there is no greater measure of a man than this.

[–]SecularNotLiberal 42 points43 points  (0 children)

We need to save this. It's so true. Rest in peace, sir.

[–]Ididitall4thegnocchi 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Beautifully written. The guy was intelligent and self aware that's for sure.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (12 children)

Jesus Christ that's a deep comment. It cements my belief that life is about creating and following your own personal religion. L Ron Hubbard, Jesus, Buddha, Joseph Smith... all these guys found the truth.

The truth is whatever you want it to be.

And they all found it.

All of their followers, however, completely missed the point. If you were to truly be like any of these guys (L Ron, Jesus, Buddha, etc), you wouldn't follow them. You'd create your own religion, and then follow that.

[–]cs_throwawayyy 12 points13 points  (5 children)

There are some examples of following your own path in zen buddhism. A story goes that a student goes to his zen master and says "I want to go on a path to enlightenment", the master says "If you meet buddha on the way, kill him"

Thinking about the Buddha as an entity or deity is delusion, not awakening. One must destroy the preconception of the Buddha as separate and external before one can become internally as their own Buddha.

Once you have acquired fundamental concepts and have the ability to evaluate things in the future based on facts and truths and not delusions and stories, there is no need to follow or rely on anything to guide you. You can face the difficult path that lies forward on your own.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

there are some examples of following your own path in zen buddhism

my point is that if you're "in Zen Buddhism", then you are by definition not following your own path. Unless of course YOU CREATED THE WORDS "Zen Buddhism."

[–]cs_throwawayyy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't follow zen anything, I'm just pointing out these concepts exists in zen buddhism ways.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I'm pointing out that they exist in a shitload of other religions as as well

[–]TRPBackpacker 1 points1 points [recovered]

This rings true.

On my search for enlightenment, I met several gurus and leaders of group. They never seem to be worthy of following. And those who do follow them seems so lost.

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points

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[–]wimmyjales 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"We are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I think we are in agreement but we just differ slightly semantically. The thing you are calling "purpose" I am calling "religion."

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The word "religion" doesn't have baggage for everyone.

Maybe it does for you, or for the average redditor.

But for about 99% of humanity, the term "religion" is a source of strength — far more so than a comparably vague term like "purpose" or "mission." To me it's quite clear that all these terms are extremely vague, so their level of "accuracy" will be different for everyone.

What's "religion" to you is "purpose" to someone else, and vice versa.

I'm not disagreeing, just offering a different perspective. I agree with the huge majority of what you're saying. And we definitely agree in spirit, bro — or, you might say, in mission. :)

[–]bigmikevegas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting all misty eyed reading this.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Probably the best thing I've read on this subreddit. RIP fellow redditor

[–]Deviousstranger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Man i remember this comment, the modern idols aspect is something i carry with me.

The guy is dead but his wisdom lives on, it's far more than most can claim.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow.that was just extemely well said. Sad how some of the best of us just get strucken down suddenly.

[–]el_Technico 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based on this comment alone I can tell he was an intellectual man. May he rest in peace.

[–]TrueFacets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read this comment too. Back then I was fairly new to trp and I didn't really get the message. After reading and thinking about it now, I realize it truly is a wise statement.

We create our mission, our believes and we question existing systems.

If you are like me and don't believe in any higher power or any "greater meaning" you are in danger to fall into depression. Because when everything is pointless anyway, why bother, why make an effort. There is no real prove of a higher power in reality, I always thought believing in a religion(or anything) is pointless and stupid or even harmful.

I now realize, that I have not only to create my mission, but also believe in it. I can chose the best mission I can think of and I better believe in it! I can give my own meaning to life, things I deem important. Then I have my own life and am not a puppet of the life of someone else. And as Shuaiya said, 'this' can be called my own "pagan" religion.

[–]oberbernou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And there you go with your noble savag-ism.

[–]MakeEmSayAyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn good testament, if somewhat grim, to his memory. He was an enlightened man.

[–]thewrightstuff88 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. Any form of passing of a loved one is always something that we could do without. I would imagine that instead of mourning, your brother would appreciate us celebrating the life he lived.

I see in his post history that he wrote 6 months ago about how TRP improved his marriage. Although I don't know him in any capacity, I'm personally glad he was able to find a way to improve his quality of life and glad that this community contributed to that during his last few months.

[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill 94 points95 points  (17 children)

This could have been any one of us, and eventually Thanatos will catch up to all of us. There will be a last post on the red pill for every single one of us.

For me and my journey, my father passing away always looking for happiness in the future was what opened my eyes to trp and started me on my journey here.

It's important to remember that our time is limited.

Do not spend one more second in a relationship which doesn't fulfill you.

Do not spend one more second living by society's rules if you don't want to.

Do not spend one more second bitching about women on the Internet instead of furthering your fitness or finances.

Do not wait till tomorrow to work on your health.

Losses are devastating and the only true silver lining of another's death, is to make you live your life a little better. That's how you honor another. You can't change the past but you can use it to not wait to truly live your own life.

It's easy to put things off to tomorrow. The challenge is to take action today.

Old Chinese proverb: "The best time to plant a tree is 50 years ago. The second best time is today."

Sorry for your loss.

[–]Fawky42 15 points15 points [recovered]

Do you have any tips to cope for your father passing away?

My dad is 74 but is pretty sick. (I'm 21) I've never really lost anyone but my parents are also my only real family I have and I'm not sure how I will handle their eventual passing...

[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill 33 points34 points  (7 children)

Yes.

  • As I said, honor him by living your life to the fullest, appreciating the brevity of life.

  • Stay busy. It actually helped me to take up the mantle and keep my family together. It made me feel productive to be the rock. The blue pill advice of just feel things and don't hide your emotions is not really scientifically backed up. Current studies show that not giving into to depression, and fake it till you make it, can actually work long term.

  • Don't drink.

  • Allow yourself specific release times to grieve. Go alone in the woods and grieve there. Be the rock to others and don't give into grief at all times. But don't hide emotions since they'll come out later. You want to be particular about when you grieve. It's a personal action that should not be shared with others.

  • You can share how you're grieving with words with a girl if you want to show a human side of yourself, but for God's sake don't cry like a little bitch in front of others. Do it by yourself if you want.

  • Start running every other day.

Those are my practical red pill tips.

[–]hyperiron 5 points6 points  (6 children)

dont drink

As somebody on the outside is there any way to get someone else to stop drinking? TL;DR he lost his father and gets drunk 3 or more nights/week.

[–]sorceryofthetesticle 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Invite him to do things at night that don't involve drinking.

[–]hyperiron 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I am close to nexting him as a friend for reasons other than his drinking, would you have any suggestions for things that do not involve it? He gets home and cracks a cold one then decides what to do with his evening. Shooting, boating, quadding, hanging out is usually what we do when we hang out. It usually involves liquor and if it doesn't he wont come out. We grew up together and I'd hate to see him piss his pay away.

[–]sorceryofthetesticle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh man that's tough, all those things go so well with a sixpack.

Lifting and sports are good for hanging out without drinking. Tinkering on your toys can be, but you have to make the focus about tinkering instead of socializing, booze and some tinkering. The fact that he wont come out unless there's booze (and that you're thinking about nexting him anyway) makes it hard/almost pointless though.

Have you tried straight talking him while hanging out? Something like, "hey bro, tell me about your dad?" If you can get him to process his father in a positive way, it'll help the pain a lot.

Depending how strong your relationship is, simply telling him that you think he has a problem (without telling him he ought to fix it) might work. It's like sharing TRP with a friend, you have to make brief hints and see how they react... If they're receptive, then you share, if not, then you shut up and hope you've planted a seed.

I'll share what worked for my drug problem (booze and weed): hard labor and dinner. I had a buddy who'd invite me over to his house to help with projects like landscaping or building a deck or painting. It sucked at first but getting shit done, talking about life, and cooking steaks a couple times a week grew on me pretty fast. Sometimes we'd have a beer or two when the work was done, but he made it a point to only have a couple in the fridge. At his house, booze was an occasional side event, and that really worked for me. A lot of this hinged on me being ready to change though, so DON"T EXPECT TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE THIS PERSON.

That's about it, I think this is one of those things where you reach out a couple times and if it's obvious that nothing will change then you leave him to his own devices.

[–]PrimaxAUS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, alcohol is so ingrained in our society that he has to really, really want it.

Source: Used to be an alcoholic, at least on paper. The line between Australian male and alcoholic is pretty blurry.

[–]LuvBeer 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Record his voice and ask him about his life. At 74 he probably has been through a lot and probably has some fascinating insights. You can get so caught up with the day to day grind of dealing with an illness that you lose sight of the bigger picture.

[–]Tailback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Father was big into Early Ford V-8's. (1932-1950'ish) My Mother gave him a book that he cherished called "The V8 Affair". I asked him when he was terminally ill to write some comments about every car in that book that he, his parents, or close relatives had ever owned.

Since he was bedridden he went to writing like on a mission from God.

I'm looking at that book right now on the shelf, and his handwritten pages are held within.

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You can check out Tom Golden's The Way Men Heal regarding grief and healing for men.

My advice, having close friends helps. It's actually even better than family.

[–]angrymachinist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost my father to cancer recently. It was terrible. One thing that was very hard for me to do, but I'm glad that I did was to tell him that I thought he was a great father to me and my sister a great husband to my mother and that I would try to be as good to our family as he was. Most importantly I told him that I would take care of mom.

I'm sorry you're going thru this. I know it sucks.

[–]phibetared 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In case it's not obvious, spend as much time with him as you can. If he's in a hospital (and possibly eventually a hospice) be there as much as possible.

It helps because afterwards you know you were there as much as possible and did as much as possible for him at the end. Be ready to do a lot of talking (as he may lose the capacity to talk much). Tell him stories about good things you remember.

Be strong, don't cry in front of him, ever. Smile, letting him know he gave you everything.

[–]Golden_Dawn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This could have been any one of us,

Very true. Had a heart attack one month and three days ago, but [spoiler alert] I lived.

[–]Yourmamasmama 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[–]FruitAndNutDelight 32 points33 points  (0 children)

his name is u/shuaiya, HIS name is u/shuaiya

[–]1TheJunkieMonk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Very sorry for your loss brother, if you need any help coping with the pain, PM me.

I really want to ask something, did his wife take care of him after he was diagnosed?

It looks he stopped posting about 3 months ago, around when he discovered the cancer probably.

I'm sorry if this isn't the right time to ask but I'm very curious nonetheless.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Valhalla awaits you brother.

[–]JanLul 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To Noah! Who worked hard to understand himself and others and his mission to make positive changes in his life.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RIP. I don't know him, but your love and tearful words speak volumes about who he was. Condolences

[–]ransay3277 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry to hear of his passing and your loss. I too read his past posts. Your brother was a good man and he will be missed by many I am sure. Pass our condolences to your family.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Our conscious minds are simply electricity flowing through our physical bodies.

The death of any of us doesn't change how electricity functions.

The fact he was Red Pill means that his conscious mind (when alive) was at a higher level than others.

Realize this.

He saw the true reality better than the beta.

(so celebrate a wise man)

 

[–]RedSugarPill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Am I the only one who upvoted this comment? There is a spiritual component working here. If you don't believe /u/shuaiya 's spirit is with us, I encourage you to reread this very page. I remember reading the guilded quote that /u/FLFTW16 posted, and I remember upvoting it over half a year ago.

It is worthwhile to take a pause and realize how even that one comment raised the collective consciousness of many people here. That's powerful. Every comment, thought, action, whatever, affects our world in the aggregate. And it will continue to do so, far beyond our physical lives. Thanks to everyone who brings a positive light here..

[–]NeoreactionSafe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have the 666 versus 777 split.

The 666 sees ego as the defining truth of reality and in death ego is lost.

The 777 sees the mind as woven into the fabric of reality itself and in a sense the mind is just a portal on the overall universe. Upon death you just blend back in because the ego was recognized as always an illusion.

But are welcome on Red Pill.

 

[–]AnOldSouI 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Remember him well and live by his example.

[–]LuvBeer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Condolences for your loss, thank you for letting people know.

[–]marinewannabee97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Terribly sorry for you and your family's loss. We have lost a friend and member of our community. I think I speak for all of us when I say that our wishes are with you.

It is always very painful when we lose a loved one. I fear the day that I may have to bury my brother.

I choose to celebrate your brothers life by remembering the advice he gave and the life he lived.

[–]theHangedGod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May he rest in peace.

I feel for you, losing someone close is always hard. Know that he was witnessed.

[–]vagbutters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for you loss; hope you can carry on your brother's will to live a good life by applying the same principles here that he advocated and used in his own life.

[–]TomFoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, you're a good man. We are all sorry for your loss. Thank you for doing this.

For TRPers without kids and considering to stay that way, you may find yourself pondering about your own mortality and legacy. After all the lifting, alpha-ing, shit-test busting, not giving a fuck, and generally living a badass life, what are you leaving behind?

Words. Stories. Actions. Boldness. Truth. At best this is what you leave behind. Dig a little deeper there isn't much. But that's okay.

Sometimes I think about how my old man sees me. He probably isn't thrilled about me to say the least. But he keeps his hopes up some day I'll come around, that I'll find faith again, that I'll marry again, that I'll settle down and have kids this time, that I'll stop chasing dreams and be a real man and struggle like the rest of the world. As his only son I am probably not the kind of legacy he probably wants to leave behind in this world. Could this just be the angst against my father speaking? Sure. But I don't care. We all need to find our own peace, our path. I'm finding it. My father needs to.

Point is: leaving a legacy is bull. Life is struggle, life is absurd. Occasionally I pull away from being like the Dark Knight, the World's Greatest Detective, trying to solve the question, "Why?" Instead I push myself to be Joker, simply laughing and yelling, "Why not?!" Live in the moment, smile at the struggle, and shrug off the absurdity.

Like u/FLFTW16 said:

He lived his life how he wanted to. In the end there is no greater measure of a man than this.

Noah didn't try to leave a legacy. His life IS his legacy. He just did stuff, probably even before he knew he was going to go.

Alpha is a mindset and lifestyle of freedom. Live a fucking interesting life.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Carry on fellow traveler. We're still at it here. You do it there. Thanks for sharing.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

may his memory live on in all our hearts. may he R.I.P

[–]MagicGainbow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My condolences in this difficult time.

[–]Jakei34 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has his condolences from a fellow Red Piller.

[–]trancedj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TRP changed my life as well. Glad to hear he lived his final days to the fullest.

[–]aRedThought 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are arguments over what happens after you die, but one thing is for sure. Life is short.

[–]1Sir_Distic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. Although I don't know him he sounds like someone who touched people's lives.

RIP Noah

[–]gghavoc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss, I just had someone close to me pass recently. What surprised me was the suddenness of it all, like one day it all ends in the blink of an eye. All that we leave are the memories we created with those close to us, friends and family. Cherish the everyday experiences, and most of all do what makes you happy.

[–]eccentricrealist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your brother was the rare sort of person who actually adapted the mindset he needed to his life without all the bullshit about blindly following TRP maxims just because. May he rest in peace.

[–]refusewool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't know your brother but after browsing through his post history it becomes apparent that he was intelligent and insightful and lived his life to the fullest and without limits. A true inspiration. I'm sorry for your loss.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May the redpill be with shuaiya.

[–]ForeskinLamp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My condolences for your family's loss. I had a read through your brother's post history, and it's obvious that he was a bright spark who lived his life the way that he wanted. I hope that -- as well as mourning for your loss -- your family can celebrate a life that was well lived.

[–]invaderdim325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Off to play the greatest game of all. I'm sorry for your loss

[–]1PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Shit damn, those cancers are the worst. It takes everything you've ever build up away with a whim. Nothing you can do, shit bad luck. Hopefully this guy enjoyed the time he had left.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]smum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey my condolences for your loss, but this is the beauty in life and what makes every one special

[–]jumpingdonkey -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

"plunges sword into the earth, gets on 1 knee, head bowed down" "a brother passed away, we salute you"