“Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”
– Ram Dass
Do you hate yourself? Do you feel you are unworthy of love and acceptance? Are you insecure and think you are not tall enough, not white enough or not handsome enough? Then this article is specifically for you.
The time you wet your pants in school. The time you got bullied. The time a girl said, "You will make a girl very happy one day but that girl is just not me". The first time your teachers told you that you wouldn't amount to anything in life. These little things have an everlasting impact on our lives. These little things end up changing us. It happens very gradually but one day we wake up hating ourselves and our lives not knowing when and where everything went to shit.
Listen man, as clichéd as this sounds, you need to love yourself. You need to accept yourself first. You need to be happy with who you are or there will always be this internal conflict. Stop thinking that you or your thoughts are below other people's. Stop thinking just because you are 5'5 you are a loser, or just because you are non-white you are not worth anything.
Now not for one second am I saying that you should delude yourself into complacency. Accept that you are fat, but don't beat yourself up over that, and work on getting in shape. Accept that you have shit social skills, embrace that and start reading on how to get better. Don't just sit at home and whine on how shit of a person you are. Grab your fucking nuts and start working to be the man you want to be.
You are probably at the worst you will ever be in your life. You are depressed and lonely and hate yourself for how pathetic you are. That's ok because the only way you can go is up now.
Men are not born they are created. Poverty, difficulty, heartache, oppression, pain - these are the things that make men out of boys. This is why you came to TRP. This is why boys come back from the military as men. Conflict and pain are what forge the masculine mindset, men cannot grow without conflict and learning from their mistakes, men need to apply their logical minds to problems which arise, elevate, and transcend their previous selves to become more powerful. Men are never born, they are always bred in the bloody fields of battle and war be it economic, mental or physical. A man is a soldier of differing kinds, a man has learnt to repress his fear so he may overcome and achieve. - Illimitableman
Remind yourself every day of your accomplishments and your talents. Everybody is good at something. Remind yourself of how good you are at playing the piano or painting. Stop using video games, porn and junk food as an emotional crutch to make yourself feel better and get that squirt of dopamine.
Be grateful for everything you have in life. You have food, clothing, shelter, and are not physically or mentally handicapped in any way. You can work to get where you want to be.
Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you made in the past. We are all human. We all fuck shit up every now and then, don't keep beating yourself up over the one stupid thing you did in '99. On a similar note, let go of grudges that you may have for other people. Having a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Stop putting yourself down when you see other people who might be better than you. Look at them as inspiration and strive to be better than them but most importantly be better than the man you were yesterday. Your only competition is the man staring in the mirror.
You don't need other people to validate you. It doesn't matter one bit that you didn't get invited to a party last Friday. It doesn't matter that you got 5 likes on your picture when your friend got 50. You keep chasing for empty validation and it will leave you empty inside. If you care so much about what other people think you will always be their prisoner. They will hold too much power over you. Don't be afraid to take risks. Don't be afraid to do things that people might judge you for. If you feel happy doing ballet, then go do ballet. Whatever makes YOU happy.
Start cutting away people who are bringing you down. It is better to have no friends than have shit friends. Remember the most important commodity is your time. Choose wisely who you invest your time in. If the people in your life are constantly bringing you down then you need better people. If all you do with your 'friends' is smoke weed and eat pizza then you need to go out and get better friends.
Loosen up a little. You don't have to be right all the time. It's all good. Chill. Don't be so uptight all the time. Take a moment to stop and enjoy life instead of trying to fix everything.
Work on your posture. Back straight, chest out, shoulders back, chin up and stomach in. Walk like a man and you will feel like one.
And try to give back to the community. Nothing will make you happier than helping somebody else. We may live in separate countries, with different languages and skin colours but never forget we are the same species and should always help others in need. Be it donating money, blood or time.
Borrow some abundance mentality from your more successful future self. You have probably heard fake it till you make it. That doesn't mean that you pretend to be someone you are not. It just means that you stay congruent with the person you are now and the much more successful person you will be in the future because both those people are the same. The way you walk and talk will change when you are successful, but that person is still you, then why not walk and talk like him right now?
And don't forget about your sense of self. Some call it your self-esteem, some call it your self-image, I will just use the term mental image. Your mental image of yourself is just as necessary, if not more, than your physical sense of self. What I mean by that is that right now you might be some fat nerdy loser. You come to TRP you learn how to dress well, groom yourself and lift. You learn how to hold frame and learn good game. Suddenly in a few years, you are making quite a bit of cash, you have good social skills and are in good shape. But something doesn't feel right. You still feel like a loser. You still feel like an imposter. You feel you don't deserve your success or accomplishments. You think you lucked your way to a good physique or a well-paying job. You still feel that kid who wet his pants years ago. And that's because your mental image has not caught up with your physical sense of self. You need to explicitly work on getting your mental image to catch up with your physical sense of self. Identify whenever you feel those emotions and become aware that those thoughts are not real. Understand the difference between feelings and reality. Women use their emotions to define reality.
This is how women's thought process go:
If true love is permanent and real, and I am not feeling true love for this person, but rather disdain and anger, then I must be feeling this way because of who they are. They make me feel bad, so they cannot be good. And since this person makes me feel bad I could not have loved them, because I would never love somebody who makes me feel bad (the qualities he exhibits now must have been inherent qualities he has always had). So I must have never loved them. The entire relationship must have been a lie. Real true love would be permanent, and this is not permanent, so it was never real true love. - Redpillschool
You are a man. You are capable of rational thinking and logic. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement.
1) Inner Game
2) Yesterday's post [Slash R Slash TheRedPill]/comments/4pe79b/on_the_third_day_he_learned_how_to_groom/