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MetaOn the fourth day, he learned how to love (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by manthefuckup_

Summary:

“Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.” – Ram Dass

 

Body:

Do you hate yourself? Do you feel you are unworthy of love and acceptance? Are you insecure and think you are not tall enough, not white enough or not handsome enough? Then this article is specifically for you.

 

The time you wet your pants in school. The time you got bullied. The time a girl said, "You will make a girl very happy one day but that girl is just not me". The first time your teachers told you that you wouldn't amount to anything in life. These little things have an everlasting impact on our lives. These little things end up changing us. It happens very gradually but one day we wake up hating ourselves and our lives not knowing when and where everything went to shit.

 

Listen man, as clichéd as this sounds, you need to love yourself. You need to accept yourself first. You need to be happy with who you are or there will always be this internal conflict. Stop thinking that you or your thoughts are below other people's. Stop thinking just because you are 5'5 you are a loser, or just because you are non-white you are not worth anything.

 

Now not for one second am I saying that you should delude yourself into complacency. Accept that you are fat, but don't beat yourself up over that, and work on getting in shape. Accept that you have shit social skills, embrace that and start reading on how to get better. Don't just sit at home and whine on how shit of a person you are. Grab your fucking nuts and start working to be the man you want to be.

 

You are probably at the worst you will ever be in your life. You are depressed and lonely and hate yourself for how pathetic you are. That's ok because the only way you can go is up now.

Men are not born they are created. Poverty, difficulty, heartache, oppression, pain - these are the things that make men out of boys. This is why you came to TRP. This is why boys come back from the military as men. Conflict and pain are what forge the masculine mindset, men cannot grow without conflict and learning from their mistakes, men need to apply their logical minds to problems which arise, elevate, and transcend their previous selves to become more powerful. Men are never born, they are always bred in the bloody fields of battle and war be it economic, mental or physical. A man is a soldier of differing kinds, a man has learnt to repress his fear so he may overcome and achieve. - Illimitableman

 

Remind yourself every day of your accomplishments and your talents. Everybody is good at something. Remind yourself of how good you are at playing the piano or painting. Stop using video games, porn and junk food as an emotional crutch to make yourself feel better and get that squirt of dopamine.

 

Be grateful for everything you have in life. You have food, clothing, shelter, and are not physically or mentally handicapped in any way. You can work to get where you want to be.

 

Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you made in the past. We are all human. We all fuck shit up every now and then, don't keep beating yourself up over the one stupid thing you did in '99. On a similar note, let go of grudges that you may have for other people. Having a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

Stop putting yourself down when you see other people who might be better than you. Look at them as inspiration and strive to be better than them but most importantly be better than the man you were yesterday. Your only competition is the man staring in the mirror.

 

You don't need other people to validate you. It doesn't matter one bit that you didn't get invited to a party last Friday. It doesn't matter that you got 5 likes on your picture when your friend got 50. You keep chasing for empty validation and it will leave you empty inside. If you care so much about what other people think you will always be their prisoner. They will hold too much power over you. Don't be afraid to take risks. Don't be afraid to do things that people might judge you for. If you feel happy doing ballet, then go do ballet. Whatever makes YOU happy.

 

Start cutting away people who are bringing you down. It is better to have no friends than have shit friends. Remember the most important commodity is your time. Choose wisely who you invest your time in. If the people in your life are constantly bringing you down then you need better people. If all you do with your 'friends' is smoke weed and eat pizza then you need to go out and get better friends.

 

Loosen up a little. You don't have to be right all the time. It's all good. Chill. Don't be so uptight all the time. Take a moment to stop and enjoy life instead of trying to fix everything.

 

Work on your posture. Back straight, chest out, shoulders back, chin up and stomach in. Walk like a man and you will feel like one.

 

And try to give back to the community. Nothing will make you happier than helping somebody else. We may live in separate countries, with different languages and skin colours but never forget we are the same species and should always help others in need. Be it donating money, blood or time.

 

Borrow some abundance mentality from your more successful future self. You have probably heard fake it till you make it. That doesn't mean that you pretend to be someone you are not. It just means that you stay congruent with the person you are now and the much more successful person you will be in the future because both those people are the same. The way you walk and talk will change when you are successful, but that person is still you, then why not walk and talk like him right now?

 

And don't forget about your sense of self. Some call it your self-esteem, some call it your self-image, I will just use the term mental image. Your mental image of yourself is just as necessary, if not more, than your physical sense of self. What I mean by that is that right now you might be some fat nerdy loser. You come to TRP you learn how to dress well, groom yourself and lift. You learn how to hold frame and learn good game. Suddenly in a few years, you are making quite a bit of cash, you have good social skills and are in good shape. But something doesn't feel right. You still feel like a loser. You still feel like an imposter. You feel you don't deserve your success or accomplishments. You think you lucked your way to a good physique or a well-paying job. You still feel that kid who wet his pants years ago. And that's because your mental image has not caught up with your physical sense of self. You need to explicitly work on getting your mental image to catch up with your physical sense of self. Identify whenever you feel those emotions and become aware that those thoughts are not real. Understand the difference between feelings and reality. Women use their emotions to define reality. This is how women's thought process go:

If true love is permanent and real, and I am not feeling true love for this person, but rather disdain and anger, then I must be feeling this way because of who they are. They make me feel bad, so they cannot be good. And since this person makes me feel bad I could not have loved them, because I would never love somebody who makes me feel bad (the qualities he exhibits now must have been inherent qualities he has always had). So I must have never loved them. The entire relationship must have been a lie. Real true love would be permanent, and this is not permanent, so it was never real true love. - Redpillschool

You are a man. You are capable of rational thinking and logic. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement.

 

Further readings:

1) Inner Game

2) Yesterday's post [Slash R Slash TheRedPill]/comments/4pe79b/on_the_third_day_he_learned_how_to_groom/


[–]chefjmcg 54 points55 points  (7 children)

Just going through a breakup after almost 4 years. I have a great job, have done well for myself in my field and gym at least 5 days/week. I NEEDED this today. It's the small constant reminders that keep you lifted. Thank you.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Good luck, it hurts like fuck for a long time if you don't properly take care of your mental and physical health. TRP singlehandedly pulled me out of my emotional grief.

[–]LongElm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

TRP helps keeps things in perspective. We'll all go through what chefjmcg is feeling.

Principles of Game, Rule #12: Everybody "gets got" at some point.

Keep busy, man.

[–]TheReformist94 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Do women go through this same pain as men do? What do they experience? My mums bf died of cancer,she is grieving a year later,still bringing flowers to his grave.what happens when a woman "grieves"? I'm a bit if a sperg when it comes to this as being in the anger phase I believe women are heartless callous creatures.

[–]TheChandraraj 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Everyone grieves differently, both men and women. Some people surround themselves in work and activities so they don't have to think about it. Some grieve and isolate themselves from the world. Some turn to drinking or drugs. Hell, some people will go on with their lives like nothing happened because the state of denial is so strong. Either way, there's no predetermined way someone (both male or female) will grieve. In the end, it's all the same.

I'm a woman and I've grieved in different ways. When my first relationship ended, I went into the world and socialized and met new people. But that was because that boyfriend was an abusive shitstain and I was happy to be free. Years later, I dated a guy I liked but due to life getting in the way, we had to break up. I didn't want to, but I had to break up with him. I grieved. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to date anyone. I felt no joy in my usual activities and I reclused myself from my friends.I spent a good couple of months feeling inadequate, like I was a bad person or that I wasn't attractive enough. Like I wasn't good enough. But with time, I built myself back up and went back out in the world.

[–]P4_Brotagonist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Keep it going my man. I am there with you. 9 year relationship down the shit after I got sick and let myself get weak. You have to realize that maybe you messed up, but you learn from it, realize you have unlimited worth as long as you work for it, and you go on. It took me 2 months to work out the grief, and I still feel it almost every day, but you learn that you are much stronger than you thought you were, and it makes you feel invincible.

[–]neversleep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you learn that you are much stronger than you thought you were, and it makes you feel invincible.

Going through something similar. Reading this made me feel better. Thank you.

[–]UniversalFapture 41 points42 points  (8 children)

Jesus Christ sometimes we just need to stop and hear something like this. The wetting the pants scenario, the doing what makes you happy, it's so hard but it's all we got. Especially the acceptance part.

I'm fat. I got my pants pulled down in the cafeteria, My social skills could use some work, and I can stand to turn down the arrogance. The whole point of TRP is too make sure we make it and to heal those old wounds. Whether it was from a girl or from embarrassment. It makes sure we don't go insane in this crazy world. I run miles everyday to make sure my calorie deficit is on point. I even recently cut a girl off. I got tired of aimlessly orbiting her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though I'm trying to lose weight, trying to get through high school, and trying to deal with women, I'm still a person with feelings and goals. Yes I play video games. Yes I read comic books. I watch TV and I like porn and waffles. But in still following the path needed. I'm still becoming a man.

I can't do it alone. You can't either. But with TRP, we can get shit done and enjoy life.

[–]jeezydasnowman 4 points5 points  (4 children)

At the same time you gotta realize the vidya and comics and porn are like how you would view a sixteen year old still carrying around his stuffie and blankie. Very childish. Look at the Chads in your class - they aren't fapping or playing cod or reading comic books. They're lifting and playing sports and partying and learning social skills.

[–]UniversalFapture 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I understand what your saying though . And yeah, I can cut out that porn use.

I'm not giving up my games and comics though. They are one of my most enjoyable hobbies. Besides reading actual books, exercising, and watching documentaries or singing

[–]jeezydasnowman 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Your life, your decision. #peterpan

[–]UniversalFapture -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ding get it.

I forgot no jerking off . That could get cut out too

[–]icecow 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Two major skills are not lowering your head too low when you step in dog poo in front of others, and not instantly turning in to an ego maniac dickhead when you get the season winning goal for your sports team.

[–]UniversalFapture 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Agreed. Balance is key. Too much of anything will be your downfall.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (15 children)

Just on the point of friends... Holy shit its so hard to find people who dont just smoke weed, eat pizza and play games. I work with a lot of young guys and they are all different but most of them dont have much going for them. I like to think that I have pretty good hobbies (train Karate 2x per week, love calligraphy and working on my car) but everybody seems so boring and predictable. I used to have people who adored me. We would smoke weed and have a grande old time but eventually I stopped that quick dopamine fix shit and eventually we had nothing in common. We dont hang out anymore and I thought we would be friends for life. Pretty sure theyre doing hard drugs everyday in attempt to mask their depression but oh well.

I think Ill just have to keep making conversation with strangers more. I always talk to the hairdresser, the workers at my favorite clothing store but its not enough. Where can I meet likeminded people? People with real goals who actually achieve?

[–]drew967 6 points7 points  (3 children)

College, it's not just a place for girls (most known for that lmao) but also for networking.

edit: imo weed doesn't lead to harder drugs, it's surrounding yourself with people who already do those drugs that makes you want to try harder drugs. Its still a bad habit, and yeah if you dont have your life in order then weed should be your last thought.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ive already done my time in college (called TAFE here). I met a lot of people there though.

[–]ImmolateChoFace 1 point2 points  (1 child)

TAFE is not really college.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I know most of my friends through sports, higher education and work.

All places you cant really get if you are doing hard drugs or smoke every day.

[–]jazz835 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I play semi-pro football... trust me when i say everyone on the team does drugs. Most of the best atheletes in the world smoke weed.

[–]ImmolateChoFace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do they take performance enhancing drugs? I assume you're an NCAA athlete?

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yes but they arent just hanging around smoking all day. They train insanely hard and use pot to chill and recover. Are they also doing hard drugs? How is ped use?

[–]jazz835 3 points4 points  (1 child)

lol, they use pot before the game. Some of these crazy mofos even drink before the game (offensive lineman)

Magic johnson would smoke weed all the time before the game.

I don't disagree with the idea that smoking weed and sitting in your basement is a terrible idea, and will make you a boring person, but it's not the weed that's at fault.

I'm not even condoning it. I don't smoke myself, i just don't like carpet statements of "smoke weed=lazy"

Two of my closest friends used to smoke all the time, one is now a Doctor and the other A biomedical engineer, both make over 6 figures.

I agree with 99% of the stuff i see and read here on this sub, but generalizations kill me. You can do amazing things and still be a pothead, but you can't do amazing things if all you are concerned with is weed. BALANCE

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I vaporize it occasionally and find it great for introspection. I've looked at problems 10x more in depth or in a different light than I ever could before. It's whatever you use it for. You want to be lazy and do nothing all day then go ahead! I physically can't just do nothing without having an insane sense of self-loathing so I won't use it for that. I'll use here and there to help put me to sleep if I can't. Pain relief from lifting heavy all week. Once in a while I'll use it to chill out when I have absolutely nothing better to do.

[–]jazz835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of guys on the team do drugs, but the "performance enhancing" ones are typically just uppers (adderall) and pain pills (vicotin, oxycotten)

Steroid/HGH use is probably expensive, and only met like 1 or 2 dudes who i suspect use.

This isn't NCAA div 1 level shit, so it's not that competitive, dispite what you would tell the rest of the team, lol

[–]Morosko5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where I really like to go are places where people give talks about how to be successful in live or how they achieved stuff. My favorites are TedTalks or TedXTalks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's networking events for almost every city, just search for those.
The people there might not all be succesful, though some are, or even good people at all. But they are definitely ambitious and willing to work with others to achieve their goals.
And then just go shotgun, talk to anyone, go to every event.
Most people you meet will be of no value to you or anyone really, but some will be, but they all have in common that they want to achieve their goals and they want to meet others who do as well.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 39 points40 points  (26 children)

 

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies.

 

Without that orientation we call "masculine polarity" what you think is love is really "Puppy Love".

As a masculine man your concept of love must change.

 

You must Kill the Puppy.

 

[–]Soulless_Ausar 26 points27 points  (2 children)

'Kill the boy, and let the man be born" - Aemon Targaryen

[–]2awalt_cupcake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not necessary that the boy must die. It's that the boy must survive and become the man. He survives by accomplishing.

[–]akolyteofthecentury 18 points19 points  (8 children)

When first reading Songs of Ice and Fire, the Unsullied (Slaves being trained to become ruthless and absolutely obedient, eunuch Soldiers for those who don't know) received a puppy when starting out and would have to kill it to complete their training, otherwise they AND the dog died by the hands of another.

As cruel as it seemed to me then, it makes sense now.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Order followers... yes... Mark Passio has several videos on that.

Get your slaves desensitized so they will fight your battles for you.

Obviously the response I made was a parody of "Kill the Beta".

 

[–]akolyteofthecentury 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Obviously... Betas and Puppys behave eerily similar sometimes. Then again, you can read books on how to teach dogs to better understand women, too. We're all animals after all, and the less mature, the more similarities arise (solipsism, lack of Theory of Mind etc.)

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Rene Girard observed that even the lower primates imitate as their core thought process.

http://www.iep.utm.edu/girard/

So the Blue Pill is our default primate behavior where we want to imitate and conform to whatever social conditions we are exposed to.

The Red Pill teaches masculinity which is that separation from the herd mind which brings about a freedom from conformity. We "wake up" into the world outside the brainwashing.

Imitation is the default behavior of children... it has always been like this.

 

[–]akolyteofthecentury 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Just reading the bit about mimetic desire was eye opening, the rest seems equally, if not more, interesting at a first glance.

Man, I love this stuff. First, you stumble across these bits of truths which, if you're willing to follow the trail down the rabbit hole, lead to this magical place where likeminded people are putting all the acquired bits of truth together. Bit by bit, chunk by chunk, a painting emerges. A grotesquely beautiful, mindblowing piece of art.

Paintings are open to interpretation, but nobody will look at a painting of an apple and go "Well, that's a weird looking melon!" so there's a clear meaning along with hidden messages and implications. And together, it forms a simple yet complicated vision as to how things really are, becoming more vivid by the hour.

That's why I highly appreciate your input. Not to devalue the contributions others have made, but to me, you provide these core bits of truth. The most simple form of it, which will then lead to connections with other bits becoming clear - regardless of the coverage the bit has and its relative "size". As always, very eye opening.

Also, it's very amusing how simple things are, generally. They're right in front of you most of the time, but failing to see the bigger picture - and learning how to do it properly along the way - is as refreshing as it is a struggle.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The magic trick that rulers have learned since the beginning of time is to make things that are obvious hidden... "to make hidden" actually means you make it occult knowledge.

The Red Pill does what Mark Passio has said is to "de-occult" things.

We lift the veil hiding the truth under it's mythology.

The Blue Pill is the mythology, the emotionally administered indoctrination education designed to dumb you down to accept beta slavery.

Rulers are there because people accept slavery easily.

Mark Passio and David Icke have great youtube videos if you are looking for better entertainment than tv.

Sometimes it gets a bit whacky but hey... it's good stuff overall.

 

[–]akolyteofthecentury 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The magic trick that rulers have learned since the beginning of time is to make things that are obvious hidden... "to make hidden" actually means you make it occult knowledge.

Spot on. Destroyed the last bits of Faith in God reading LaVeys Satanic Bible that way.

And reading some of the decent to not so good advice thats doled out here on TRP and other places, I'll take whacky and good over whacky and not so good any day. Cheers for the recommendation(s) !

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only true "religion" was the Torah and it was meant as a sort of Rubik's Cube™ of abstract problem solving.

LaVey killed the "weaponized" christianity only to then create a new weapon called Baphomet.

...it went from bad to worse.

 

[–]ErenYeager91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They still use this in some special forces. In Russia, English SAS etc... But they let you live with puppy for 3 months I think. Killing the puppy is the last test.

[–]Troll_Name 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Man loves women, women love children, children love the dog, the dog loves the man.

Part of inner peace is learning to find and appreciate the things which go right in life.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The puppy loves differently than the man loves.

The boy loves differently than the man loves.

 

[–]StoicBeard 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Could you ELI5 this? seems interesting EDIT:Puppies love no one right?

[–]NeoreactionSafe 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It was a play off of "Kill the Beta".

The beta experiences love as "Puppy Love" and look up to women just as a puppy looks up to it's masters.

So it's a simple substitution of "beta" with "puppy".

As a masculine man you love as from above.

As a boy you love as from below.

Kill the Puppy and go from below to above.

Grow up from below.

 

[–]1ThumpNuts 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Why kill the puppy?

Honestly, I think I know what you're going for, but you are way off base. The puppy is the object of a child's love. A child has no frame of reference or experience or wisdom to love with any kind of discernment. One must kill that inner-child so he may love like a man.

A woman would kill a puppy to get what they want [sympathy, revenge, etc...]. A man wouldn't do that... except for food.

The problem isn't WHAT you love, the problem is HOW you love.

[–]RedPillRedemption 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Kill the puppy means "kill your puppy way to love, learn to love like a man".

[–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Oh come on... are you seriously not getting this metaphor?

  • Kill the Beta

  • Kill the Puppy

  • Kill the Puppy Love

...I'm not talking about hurting another being, but hurting the Blue Pill inside you.

Enjoy the Destruction of the Blue Pill whether you find it inside you or in the external world.

If you find the Blue Pill on the side of the road Kill it.

 

[–]1ThumpNuts 0 points1 point  (3 children)

No, I got it.

Kill the puppy means "kill your puppy way to love, learn to love like a man". ~ RedPillRedemption

Killing those Blue Pill parts of yourself.

I just didn't see how the puppy was a part of yourself. I was more concerned about the metaphor being about embracing some kind of dark psychopathy in order to desensitize yourself, thereby protecting yourself from emotional pain.

My concern was unwarranted.

Carry on.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The problem with twisting things to make a point is it can be taken the wrong way.

But even when misunderstood it broke open some new mental pathways which when reunited to the actual understanding later expands your thinking.

You constantly improve by being challenged.

This role was once called "The Devil's Advocate" or the teacher who forced his students to think.

It was only later in Christianity when the priests all got together and said:

"Hey guys... we have a really cushy position ruling over these sheep people and if we actually challenged them as Devil's Advocates they might wake up and we'd be out of a job."

...so the "devil" became "that guy that brings down our scam".

The priests then said:

"I know... let's just stop even trying to teach them about Game and tell them it's too difficult and that they should trust us as rulers... we will call it 'having faith'".

The other priest replies:

"You think they are gullible enough to accept that?"

 

 

[–]1ThumpNuts 0 points1 point  (1 child)

...I think that reply was meant for someone else. That literally has nothing to do with anything I wrote.

And people who rebelled against the Church were called "Heretics", not "Devils."

According to the Bible:

The entity that challenged God was called Lucifer... until he fell.

The entity that accused Job of being a "fair weather friend" to God was called Satan.

The Devil, "who had deceived them," is thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet will be.

Anyway, that doesn't change your point... much.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

According to the Bible...

Which was my point... the "New Testament".

The "Old Testament" was actually entirely hebrew and was designed to be understood in purely symbolic and abstract terms. (what I call the Rubik's Cube™)

In other words the pre-christian concept of the Old Testament (hebrew Torah) was designed so that everyone become Red Pilled and learned Game.

The original was designed to create a classroom of Lucifers.

 

[–]1ThumpNuts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is why I support this sub.

I can't relate to feeling like this or being in this kind of mindset on any level -- yet, if any man can relate to this needs to get a swift kick in the ass and get their head straight! These kind of submissions are the ones that can motivate someone to an "Aha!" moment.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

That Ram Dass quote is fire.

[–]NocturnalManlet 4 points5 points  (11 children)

Thnx I really needed this. Trying to drop 20-30 lbs right now. I quit smoking atleast.. I feel so pathetic right now....

[–]WolfofAnarchy 22 points23 points  (1 child)

What the fuck?

Come on dude, this post literally says you should love yourself for your accomplishments.

YOU QUIT SMOKING.

Great job, remind yourself of it. Be proud. One tango down, more to go.

Fucking go for it bud!

[–]NocturnalManlet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thnx dawg. Im trying, just have a lot of work to do. When theres a lot wrong, the many steps are over whelming. My will power is diminishing and It makes me feel beta as fuck. Not to be a Deby downer, its just how I feel...

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You quit smoking and you feel pathetic? Quitting is a HUGE achievement and you should be proud. Fuck Im proud of you man. Im a medical professional, I know the dangers and costs of smoking and I know how hard it can be to quit. Everyone who quits is a hero in my book. If you can do that shit hitting the gym and building some juicy muscle should be easy. If you're having trouble just ask for some help.

[–]NaughtyFred 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I'm at the point where I'm ready to quit. How did you quit?

[–]icecow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'll tell you how I quite 12 years ago. A friend got me a prescription to some psychotropic 'quit smoking' pills. It's not that hard, apparently doctors will write a prescription with little resistance. I kept the bottle in a drawer. I waited about 2-3 weeks till I had some willpower, got rid of all cigarettes, then quit smoking cold turkey (not using pills) and went as long as I could stand it, about 3 weeks. Then started taking the pills exactly as directions indicated. I would hold my breath when I walked by something that smelled like cigarettes, like when I went it to my local gas station I had to pass by a trashcan with an ashtray as a lid. During this time I took spontaneous little jogs, and did spontaneous exercises. I believed doing so would help metabolize the chemicals out of my body, and thus also shorten the addiction cycle. With the psycho-tropic pill I sort of 'floated' through life a bit. All I had to do is turn and float away from anything that smelled like cigarettes and it was relatively easy. There were grinding times I wanted a cigarette, but ignoring the impulse was about as easy or easier than knowing if I smoked I'd feel kinda sick in an hour.

I also made it a point to drink a lot of water, and brush and floss my teeth. Any nicotine saturated plaque, or nicotine juice that oozed into my mouth from my lungs gave me cravings. So the easiest way was to keep my mouth clear of it.

[–]ryandiy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

psychotropic 'quit smoking' pills

Wellbutrin will do this quite effectively

[–]NocturnalManlet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me its nicotine gum. im chewing 4mg per tab whenever i think of smoking. When im parked infront of a gasstation about to buy smokes I chew almost a pack, throw up and drive home. The gum helps but its sheer will power.Now if I can stop binge drinking Ill probably drop the pounds and meet my new life

[–]mack_and_the_boys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The stop smoking subreddit was a godsend for me. 7 months quit cold turkey.

[–]icecow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You accomplished the absolute best thing you could have done for yourself. Double down with some good food and exercise and look back and laugh in two years.

[–]nebachadnezzar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I didn't even smoke that much, just 2-4 cigs a day, and still it was hell. Even now, one and a half year later, I still get cravings from time to time, even though second hand smoke smells disgusting to me and the mere thought of it passing through my throat makes me want to puke. I guess my addiction was more psychological than physical, I really miss the temporary relief of my smoking breaks.

Still, best decision of my life.

[–]SimkinZA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP I just want to say that it has been a pleasure reading your posts thus far.

That's all. I'm a lurker.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[deleted]

[–]FiveLions 20 points21 points  (1 child)

So what? They have "things". If you got nexted...man up and move on. You're not in the right mind frame to handle this now. Go back into monk mode and work on YOU. It should be only when you can laugh natural hypergamy off is when you're ready.

I work with all women..all underneath me, and you should hear the way they talk about their husbands and boyfriends just to curry my favor. They don't know I find it desparate and repulsive...BUT guess what? All women are like this. She's not special..it sounds like you wanted to pay for everything . you will want to be in the place of making her pay and laughing about it. Because their species is much more plotting and insidious than you. They move on no problem in two days. So why are you letting her live rent free in your head?

[–]KIZAN 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dayuuum that last sentence tho.

[–]bowie747 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's just stuff, man. It's just stuff.

Things you own, end up owning you

What's more important is your sense of self. I'd bet that these people you speak of largely have terrible senses of self. I actually have a theory that 99% of people spend waste their lives without a shred of self-awareness. By even being here trying to improve yourself, you're using your time better than any of those people.

Also. Never ever let a girl know you're broke. Just don't mention it, make excuses if you have to. Lie. Girls (generally) dislike the perception of having more resources than the man they're fucking.

[–]Theophagist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Lost a lot in a pretty bad ivestment now I'm gonna have to recover financially.

Of course she nexted you. You can take care of her for 30 years and the moment you lose your shit expect to find her with a tall man with that perfect amount of silver in his hair.

[–]FiveLions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And hell eventually be a beta bux...as soon as he shows a shread of weakness.AWALT Period. Its biological , and its not a bad thing. It exists for procreation purposes . this is the hardest part of the red pill for men to swallow...their/our hamsters want to believe they think of love like us/one it is...which is also biological for the existence of family...might even be spiritual, BUT the only way to maintain this is frame through shit tests a very daunting task for men these days, since being a man is no longer socially acceptable...quite the contrary ...destroying a man is the norm. All across the board divorce rape, alpha widows, feminism, sjw, cuckolding all socially acceptable and its all men's fault for letting it get this bad . we are the sought after ideal of a human being and we let it get out of hand because everyone wants to fuck a woman

[–]Scurvy-Bugles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It ain't about the money. It's the obstacles and difficult circumstances that you over come to become wealthy. Wealth is simply an outcome of overcoming difficult obstacles that no one else is willing to over come. Keep grinding. Keep hustling. One day you will look back and laugh at the worries (or insecurities from my perspective) that you face today. One brick builds the wall. One day at a time. Believe in your abilities, strive for greatness. Keep at it.

[–]telenoobies -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

wtf is this dude serious lol.

[–]Fulp_Piction 2 points3 points  (3 children)

The only way to be happy, as far as I can make out, is to get rid if your ego & seek nobody's validation but your own. It's the essence of inner game.

[–]jazerac 0 points1 point  (2 children)

How do you rid yourself of ego?

[–]Fulp_Piction 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Think of every living thing as being something that the entire universe is doing in the same way that a wave is something the entire ocean is doing. Every one of us is just a concentration of the universal energy at a particular point in space, we're pretty much the same. It's an idea that makes it easier to connect and empathise with people.

The ego is the idea of there being an I, an identity that each of us have that makes us special and different from everybody else. The ego is defensive (imagine telling a special snowflake that he/she isn't really a special snowflake, but more like a hailstone) and self preserving. I got a lot of my information from casual buddhism and listening to Alan Watts talks on youtube. Check out "Alan Watts The Real You" on youtube.

[–]jazerac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

interesting, I will check the videos out. thanks!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Agreed. I often beat myself up over some cringe worthy beta moments I had in the past with previous LTRs. There were moments where I humiliated my character in front of friends with how jealous I would act. Rather than acknowledge that the relationship isn't working; to break up and move on. Personality types just don't mesh well together and it's too conflicting.

Luckily, today I realize those mistakes I made in the past and take them as valuable lessons on failed behavior. Also, there are many great lessons in various religious texts on how to just live a good successful life in general.

Love transcends sexual relationships as well. Giving back to your community and asking yourself "what can I do to make the neighborhood a better place for my neighbors?" and developing plan toward an altruistic goal like this is one of the most rewarding ways you can spend your time. Whether it's cleaning up garbage on a local pond trail or volunteering to build a handicap ramp.

When you generally start to do good things for the world, you replace the embarrassing memories with memories of success and spiritual triumph (not to sound too corny). For me, one of these memories is getting accepted to my #1 choice college. I really felt like a winner on that day. It was one of those "WHOA SHIT!" moments like if you've ever won $10,000 on a scratch ticket.

Another moment of triumph for me personally has come with exercise. All my life I was an out of shape chubby dude. For the past 2 years, I have been hitting the gym. I had off and on periods where I'd go a few months without working out, but then get back into it. I've been lifting and doing cardio on a tight regiment for the last 5 months now as well as eating healthy. I am seeing awesome results and my SMV has never been higher. When I had to do the mile run in middle school it was fucking embarrassing, I always came in the tail end of the boys right before the girls who just walked the whole thing. Now these days, while it's not olympic athlete status, I have run my fastest mile in 7:18. While it's not great, it's an improvement from my normal 10:00 when I was a chubby dude. Also, just feeling stronger feels great. I have more energy to do fun stuff and the endorphins give you that organic high. Like when you're hiking up a mountain and you find a nice clean pond to go for a swim in on a hot summer day. No alcohol no pot. Just getting high by cooling off on a beautiful summer day.

[–]nebachadnezzar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man, talk about getting fit. I was also an out of shape chubby dude all my life and would absolutely embarrass myself in PE class next to all the athletic types.

Took up running 3 months ago and already can run 5k in a little over 30 min. Younger me would think this was just impossible. The funny thing is, when you're focused on where you are and where you want to be, it's easy to lose sight of your progress. A couple of weeks ago I was actually frustrated that I couldn't drop my time under 30 minutes. Then an old friend invited me to go for a run with him. He's not in great shape, but isn't a fatass either and trains karate 2x a week. He was out of breath after 1k. No to take the piss on him or anything, but damn, did that felt good.

[–]Ojisan1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post should be stickied for a while. High quality content needs to be promoted.

This was excellent motivation, and not some bullshit "rah rah" stuff, and not some immature angry stuff, but genuinely insightful listing of the principles of TRP and how to apply them when you're feeling a bit down.

[–]cubicpolynomial3 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Is there an effective way to rid myself of negative memories?

I'm about to enter college and I still have flashbacks/find myself thinking about social failures and mistakes I had going all the way back to elementary school. It's actually a pretty common occurrence.

Essentially, is there something I can do to "let go" more easily?

[–]CharismaPlusOne 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wanting to be rid of negative memories is illogical. With no negative memories you wouldn't be on TRP. I understand. We all have regrets and negative memories but every choice in your life has brought you to where you are and made you who you are. Love who you are first. You don't need to "let go", what you need is to strive for acceptance. Men are forged in the flames of adversity. Embrace those memories with the spirit of self improvement.

[–]BlackBiC9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You just have to realize that no one actively gives a shit about those memories but you. Everyone's busy dealing with their own shitty memories and current problems. Depending on how bad the failure/mistake was, it may stick in people's minds throughout the day or even a week, but eventually time heals all and people's attention spans are short as fuck. At the root, the pain is caused by you caring about what other people think. It takes practice but eventually you'll have too many mistakes to count and you'll stop giving a fuck completely, just living your life the best you can. Don't be afraid of screwing up moving forward, but always adapt and learn from your mistakes.

[–]icecow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Premise for a movie: Man has his bad memories and tramas erased with new medical machine. He choses to do almost identical mistakes experiencing almost identical tramas and bad memories. Unaware they are the same, he opts to use the medical machine to erase his memories. It's the horror movie version of Ground Hog Day.

Instead of trying to erase them, have them trigger positive behavior.

When you remember that time you were 14 and that girl was giving you IOIs in front of your friends and you just stared too long and asked her if she wanted to play baseball with them, then everyone just left you standing there like a dick... associate it to --> Go work out.

That's the idea, but it's too abrupt to go work out whenever one of these thoughts crosses your mind. Perhaps, these thoughts always happen after you go to bed but before you sleep.

A more refined version..

<bad memory when in bed> ---> Make sure your workout clothes are in place (shirt, sweatpants, shoes, socks), make sure that social competence book-on-tape is loaded up on your phone, go to sleep feeling in control, knowing you have a plan to workout tomorrow at set time while learning some social competence.

These were examples... You can link any bad experience to a good action, and the prime action doesn't have to be immediate. The action (for me) is putting things in to place, and having a set time for the primary action to happen.

[–]randomchild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent post, excellent series. Cannot wait to see more of it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is unbelievable something like trp exists. I'm sure your posts have helped many people, you can honestly be proud.

[–]CharismaPlusOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really liking these "On the day" posts.

Thanks a lot man.

[–]glyphridden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left my shit friends behind but I dont know where to expect better ones. Weed is good but its counter productive really

[–]RPthrowaway123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, I needed to hear this today. Thank you for posting.

[–]NietzscheExplosion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQKweA-FI_M

Why is it always a shit show to get music lyrics online?

"A child asks his mother, do you love me And it really means, will you protect me

His mother answers him, I love you And it really means, you've been a good boy

And as the years go by True love will never die

At seventeen a girl says, do you love me And it really means, will you respect me

The teenage boy answers, I love you But it really means, can I make love to you

And as the years go by True love will never die

I will love you forever I will love you forever

At sixty-five his wife says, do you love me And it means, I'd like to hear it again

Her husband says to her, I love you But it really means, I love you till the end

And as the years go by True love will never die

Now you're asking me if I love you And it really means will I marry you

And I answer, yes I love you But it really means that I won't be untrue

And as the years go by True love will never die

I will love you forever I will love you forever"

[–]quantum_pants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pardon my ignorance, but what is " "?

[–]Ozymanberg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck, man, that grudge thing hit me hard. I've been recovering from a girl and I've been doing fine until the thought of her cheating on me pops back in my mind. It hurt so much but I know it's my own fault for depending on someone else to make me happy... But I gotta let it go, somehow. This last girl was my phase shift.

I call the phase shift that one triggering moment in your life that makes you go "Fuck it. I'm done." It's mostly caused by a woman, humiliation or disrespect (or all of them together). It wasn't only because of her, though. I realized how people treated me on a daily basis and decided it was time to put my foot down. There's probably a red pill term for "phase shift" already, but I just felt like sharing it.

Thank you for this, OP. I've been in a slump and have been feeling very angry lately, but this helped me. I'm thankful for finding the red pill and the people who help out in this community.

[–]Falkrik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this series. Whenever I am going through a rough time this place seems to help bring me back to reality. I'm definitely a romantic so I often let my emotions and ideals get the best of me. It usually leads to more questions than answers. TRP truly helps me realise what I need to do to stay grounded and how to excel in "the real world". I'm thankful for all of you here and whoever may see this. Much love

[–]sickofbeingaffraid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I discovered TRP 2 years ago. It took me one year to asses where I was. It was last summer. It took me two months to see through the BS other people always told me, like my mom telling me I am beautiful even though I was skinny fat. I realized I am a loser. Since then, my subconcious inner dialogue changed from a narcissistic one to one which is full of self hate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you guys please help me with this:

" 2) Yesterday's post [Slash R Slash TheRedPill]/comments/4pe79b/on_the_third_day_he_learned_how_to_groom/"

I still don't understand what i need to see there and what is the point

[–]yxngdrilla19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing post. Self-improvement is honestly one of the most important aspects of life

[–]Theophagist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

STOP HIM HE'S TRYING TO BRING LOVE!!!!

[–]lone_wanderer101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nice motivational post bro my life has changed waow

[–]Algernoq -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

This post is a disorganized mush of ideas.

Who the fuck are you? Why should I do any of this?

I read a lot of "You feel....", "You are...", etc. but ZERO evidence to back it up.

Are you just copying what successful Redpillers wrote?

[–]jeezydasnowman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fuck outta here go read the New Yorker or some pseudo intellectual big bang theory shit.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wasn't literal. He meant don't slouch.