Red Pill TheoryShallITinder's advice for all guys in their 20s. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1ShallITinder

Summary: It seems like the blue pill media has given its thoughts on the matter so I am going to give mines, as a guy who is almost done with his 20s. I look forward to seeing more guides like this from the red pill as it is loaded with guys in their 20s and guys in their 20s are the demographic in need of a lot of advice.

30 is NOT the new 20:

Would love it if other experienced members added their advice to this list too, we could get a super thread going!

First of all, if you haven't already, read "The Defining Decade" book by Dr. Meg Jay. I do not usually recommend works from a female author but this one is an exception, a must read for all!

Well, I know that various blue pilled media outlets have attempted to give advice to people in their 20s but having learned a few things from them, I decided to give it a go. The 20s are a very transforming period of a person's life and after them, the window of opportunity does start to close in a lot of areas. I have known a good bit of people in their 30s that threw their 20s away, did nothing of value, and are now playing catch up in a big big way. 30 is not the new 20 and I promise that you will regret throwing your 20s away.

A lot of it this comes from both my experience as well as talking to a lot of 30 somethings.

A good bit of older people I have talked to talk about your 20s as a navigation point that determines so much of your coming decades. The habits you form, thoughts you regularly have, and choices you make will affect you for quite some time. Quite a few people say that the 20s may as well be the most important decade of your life so here is my advice for all guys in their 20s:

1 - Whatever is wrong with you, now is the time to address it and fix it.

Depressed? Low Self-esteem? Host of other issues? Now is the time to look into them. If you found the red pill, you're in luck, you have a huge leg up on a lot of other guys out there. Whatever insecurities you might have about your looks, game, and a host of other things, now is the time to address them. From my experience though, MOST of these insecurities stem from a lack of success with women as well as a lack of a social life. A lot of isolation and being a social outcast tends to mess with the minds of most young guys out there.

Invest some serious time into yourself! The 20s are meant to be about you, a time for you to find out about yourself, push yourself to the limits, and build the foundation of a successful future.

Build some success, grow your confidence, and realize that the 20s are the time you can go from being a loser to an alpha male, becomes A LOT harder in your 30s as people are more set in their ways.

2 - Get fit!

Take advantage of the fitness advice on this sub, now is the time to build that body. Hit the gym, hit the weights, eat right, and put some serious time into getting yourself into shape. Even if it is something as small as doing a lot of push ups in the morning, get yourself in the gym and get going. I won't get too much into it only because there are subs and countless guides dedicated to it. There are so many ways to go about doing it, find the one that works for you.

3 - Career, get on it, ASAP!

The 30s are no place to build a career from scratch.

Not saying everyone has to be an inverstment banker working 80-100 hrs a week!

Whether you want to work in Silicon Valley, on Wall Street, go into medicine, or get into any high SMV career out there; get on it! The 30s are no time to build a career, they are the time to actually get going in a career. A good number of high SMV careers (Wall Street in particular) become out of reach once you hit your 30s and have not taken any steps to get to them. Your 20s are the time to solidify your financial footing and that means having a career started, at least in something. The last you want to do is enter your 30s with absolutely no idea of what you want to do with your life because you messed around way too much in your 20s and paid no mind to this situation.

You will have down time (not much though) to party and occasionally chase girls. I know a few investment bankers who, after paying their dues for a couple of years, find the time to take fancy vacations or spend weekends just relaxing.

Whatever your calling is in terms of a career, get on it. If you haven't found it, try a few different jobs. I hear Sales jobs are good for fresh out of college grads so look into them. Do not be one of those fresh out of college grads that is drifting through life, traveling, and paying no attention to this part of life. Hot girls can do that, everyone else can't!

4 - MOVE to that big city!

Small towns and suburbs are no place for a 20 something man to be. Tons of people that get married in their early 20s and give up on life shortly after as well a lack of things to do. If that wasn't enough, in terms of game, they are an absolute death trap. Most of the hot girls are taken, social circles are tight, and it is usually a select few group of guys who have nothing to do but play social politics that get the few hot girls in these areas.

Not only that but you don't meet that many quality people in small towns and suburban areas. Most of the times, you will be running into snobs that don't want to make new friends or move forward in life at all. Opportunities are few and you just don't grow while in these sorts of circumstances. No excitement and no fun things to look forward to when you are in boring small towns, instead, give the big city life a try.

5 - Friends, network, and connections, get to it!

I know there is a stigma against social media (which I will address later on in another post) but the 20s are no time for monk mode. You need to make a network for your social as well as professional life. Meet lots of good people, make friends, and try to put yourself out there. As the saying goes, it is not what you know but who you know that matters, it is who you know that matters! I recommend doing whatever you can to avoid being a loner at this period of your life. Go out, get involved in clubs, and if you have so much time on your hands then go for a cool side job in the service industry (bartender is a good one!). You have to put in the investment now to make a good number of acquaintances at this point in your life.

If you have not experienced being a part of a large social circle or going out with a group of friends on the weekends, you are missing out! In your 30s, this could potentially become a lot harder to do.

Whether it is the straight A student working on wall street or the guy who didn't even go to college working as a bartender, expand your circle!

6 - Realize that the clock is ticking for you as a man!

I don't mean the biological clock but the clock to make something of yourself in this time. Now is the time to try it all out whenever you have the down time. Make the most of your 20s and whatever down time you have from your job, use that to enjoy things you've always wanted to enjoy. Take that 1 or 2 week vacation to travel to a country you wanted to travel to or pick up that hobby on the side that you always wanted to pick up. Now, when you have the energy, is the time to try it all out and leave with minimal regrets.

The worst thing you want to do in your 20s is just drift through life, make every day count!

The 20s are the time to make it all count and build up your skills, resume, life, and everything. No time to waste and no time to drift, you can get by on small amounts of sleep as well. Before you know it, they would have passed and you will wake up wondering what you were doing that whole time.

7 - Find your skills and figure out your path.

Whether it is breaking into a high paying career, getting a masters degree, or whatever it may be, figure it out. Even if you want to start your own business, have the plan. Your 20s are about finding your skills, whether they are analytical or sales skills. In your 30s, the rewards and efforts of your investments should show as you grow in your career or business and make the cash.

8 - Along the way, have those experiences.

One night stand with with a hot girl in Vegas? Maybe making out on the beach? Perhaps having that wild night as you're out with your friends?

When given the opportunity, have those experiences. I don't mean make a habit out of it but have a couple of days from each year where you can talk about something wild that you did and either laugh about or reminiscence. Do not be that loser that shut himself off from society and is now a bitter 30 something, you will be so miserable for it.

How about dinner party with a nice group of people? Do it!

Social outing at the beach with some friends? Do it!

Number 5 will help a lot in this.

9 - Read good books.

I recommend books like Mastery by Robert Greene and No More Mr. Nice Guy. Read as many good books, especially those applicable to real life, that you can get your hands on. You will process information fast at this age, take advantage of that. Grow your curious mind and gather knowledge that will help you succeed in life. A lot of this will help with number 7 on this post. Don't just read red pilled books, read helpful books that have changed lives and can better you (How to Win friends and influences people for example). Don't waste time with romance novels and Twilight, then again you guys know better.

10 - As said 1 million times on TRP, don't get married!

At least not in your 20s, I won't even go into this because there is an entire sidebar dedicated to it. Lots of guys will make this mistake after college and very few will come out happy for it in the end.

Bonus: Keep adapting and do not become set in your ways for as long as possible.

The world is changing every year and every decade, if you do not adapt, you will get left behind. Keep your curiosity up and pay attention to the trends. You do not have to follow the trends but it will do you a lot of good to be aware of them. Keep that curiosity and mentality of wanting to grow and learn as long as you can keep it, don't get too set in your ways.

So that is about it.

Most importantly, if you have anything valuable to add to this thread then do so!

I would love to hear more insights and hopefully we can get a super thread going, probably put something like this on the sidebar, pin it for a bit, or whatever to help out of the 20-somethings on this sub.

Edit: Wow! Third straight thread I was glided for, awesome!

Lessons learned:

1 - You cannot let your 20s fly by!

2 - You must do something to build yourself in your 20s!

3 - You must invest as much as you can into yourself in your 20s!

4 - Have some fun experiences along the way.

5 - Make some friends and network.

6 - Move to that big city of your dreams. Suburbs and small towns are no place for a young man.

7 - Add more valuable advice to this thread as you see fit.

[–]Do not send modmail to my personal inboxCrazyHorseInvincible[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (4 children)

I'd like to personally thank the visitor who reported this for "misogyny", because I love a good laugh.

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (9 children)

I would add to this list..

Be Discriminatory with who you Date

I know so many guys I graduated highschool with who have knocked up a crazy bitch. Guys get cucked and sit on their ass hoping to get un-cucked. Guys who get frustrated with their woman, maybe slap her and just get his ass thrown in jail.

All of this crap is a giant unnecessary headache and the result of hopeless romanticism. Women need to be vetted for the LTR process. It's a top position where application screening should be very discriminatory in order to avoid women you do not have a healthy dynamic with. You need to test them just like they test you. It helps you figure out whether they're worth your time.

Some common red-flags for LTR-unworthy women..

1.) Drinks way too much.. Women who get blackout drunk at college parties every weekend are not LTR material and if you stick your dick in them you should have a rubber on even if she says she's on BC. Not only do you not know if she's lying about that and insists on no condom to impress you, but you don't know how many other dicks have been in those holes. Some women don't lie about their number, but the ones who have fucked a lot of guys almost always lie about it. Be safe and don't take stupid unnecessary risks that may lead to long term life mistakes.

2.) Instagram Queen. These chicks are addicted to validation and have orbiters up the wazoo. There will be guys flooding her DM inbox and some of them aren't desperate beta males, but more alpha guys who are able to use soc media to get laid. 3 of my buddies from back in the day are pros at getting pussy from soc network crap like IG, Snapchat, FB etc.. Chicks like this are plate material and that's it. That's why alpha tony who DM'ed her "netflix and chill" at 11PM last wednesday is never in pics with her. Alpha Tony isn't an idiot that puts a ho in wifey position. All IG addicted girls will have DOD (dick on delivery) and most likely have a few dude plates.

3.)Workaholic chicks.. They will never have time to go out or spend any time with you. You'll be lucky if she makes time to see you once a week. They flake frequently or are "too tired from work". These girls don't value your time or what you require to be happy in an LTR so unless you're okay with being a doormat you should peace out. The only time I'd be down with a workaholic chick is strictly FWB/side piece.

4.) SJW / Art School Chicks.. No dis on art school if you actually go there because you're passionate and want to work hard.. But man some of the girls who are "art students".. I wonder if they live in bizarro world. They don't shave their legs or armpits, generally have this shitty smug teenager attitude where they role their eyes at everything, and think they're better than everyone else when they've never actually accomplished anything with their lives other than making crappy art that lacks any actual artistic merit, depth, vocabulary etc.. Most of these girls hate white males anyway so they're pretty easy to avoid.

This is more of a general rule of thumb.. There's some good quality tail in art schools too, but the common female there is the SJW future cat lady lesbian/gender fluid who is offended by everything. You can't even watch an episode of South Park with these people.

5.) Single moms.. Duh. Chances are they're still fucking the chad who knocked them up. She just wants a beta provider to do everything Chad doesn't.. Like pay the bills, buy her kids christmas and bday gifts, and chaperone for field trips. You should die from dehydration in the hot Sahara sun before you get this thirsty.

Green Lights For Women

1.) Girls who are involved with school activities.. This is a sign of a girl who comes from a good family whose parents probably taught her right from wrong and a little bit of discipline. I notice these girls tend to be hard workers with their academics and will take the lead sometime and plan dates in a non-bitchy way (Instead of OMG we're definitely going to twilight opening night! You'll get a OMG we're definitely going out to this Japanese restaurant it's so good and I know sushi is your favorite!).

2.) Girls who randomly surprise you with little gifts.. Whether it's bringing you a coffee on her way over to your place or surprising you with lunch at work. Every single guy I know who's happy in an LTR has a girlfriend that does small stuff like this for him.

3.) Girls who have good girl game and practice mate guarding.. Not in a jealous crazy bitch kind of way where she messages ever girl you're friends with on FB telling them to back off, but she's just aware of the game and aware of your SMV to the point where she'll do little subconscious things like hang on your arm or kiss you at a party in front of a bunch of hot chicks. It's a sign that she values you and doesn't want other chicks encroaching on her good quality boyfriend.

4.) Doesn't fuck on the first date.. This one's kind of iffy, sometimes a quality girl will fuck you on the first date, but it's generally a mark of the whore. Think of the ol lock and key analogy with this one. While you may think your dick's a good key, reality might be you just stuck it in a shitty lock. Quality girls like to be courted a little bit not in a gentlesir neckbeard way, but as in demonstrating you're emotionally intelligent and don't view her simply as a hole. Quality women will usually wait until at least the second date so they don't look easy.


Avoid dating shitty women in your 20's. It may ruin the rest of your life. You might knock them up, get a permanent STD like HSV-2 or something more severe like HIV.. Then there's also the crazies who will file false reports of abuse, have crazy exs who want to harm you etc.. Don't even plate the crazies. Most of them are fat as fuck by them time they're 23 anyway cause they're too stupid to take care of their bodies.

I mean this is all what's commonly discussed here at TRP anyway, but I'm noticing a lot of guys still aren't fucking getting it. You have to be discriminatory for LTRs.. If the question pops in your head "Is it okay that I'm jealous my girlfriend is drunk, and sleeping over her "guy-friend" alpha tony's house?" You should just dump her right away no ifs ands or buts about it. LTR women don't do shit that makes you feel insecure, they should be like a cheerleader who roots for her boyfriend when he's successful and peps him up when he falls on his ass.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am much older than most men here and this is spot on 100% accurate. I have lived these exact lessons without getting too burned by them. Art chicks, single moms, fun time party girls - the whole list.

Well done. All men should memorize this list and live by it. This may be some of the best advice I have seen here.

[–]EatmyShorts59 7 points8 points  (2 children)

From Mate by Tucker Max & Geoffrey Miller

Good Sluts

Quietly proud to be sex positive and adventurous

Has like minded female friends

Willingly discusses exes,STD Test, Safe Sex

Comfortable with her body

Cuddles after sex, but knows how to leave

Bad Sluts

Ashamed of her desires

Has few if any female friends

Doesn't like to talk about her past in any way

Not comfortable with her body / what gives her pleasure

Freaks out after sex

[–]chostax- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should mention that there are some that share the qualities of both good and bad.

[–]chostax- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My girl is none of the bad signs and all of the all of the good signs. That's why I decided to date her, they should only be rewarded with commitment if we are reward with everything else.

[–]marinewannabee97 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What would be your advice for one, who has say a limited pool to chose from? How does one make the best of a bad situation? Thanks.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My advice would be to maximize your pool to choose from. You can do this by improving yourself with working out, getting educated, and focusing on and taking steps toward career advances.

Also living in cities. Life is dead in the suburbs. Go some place with culture and lots of hot girls like New York City, Miami, LA, SF, Portland OR, etc.. People who stay in the suburbs generally speaking tend to be low quality. Personally I'm not into dating women who smoke cigarettes and work at Wendy's.

You have to accept what you cannot change. Lots of guys get hung up on their height or phenotypical traits that aren't so aesthetically pleasing (i.e.: they're ugly). However there's always things that you CAN change.

Also, don't do this stuff just so girls will like you. Do it to yourself because you owe yourself to be your best self.

[–]jaysire 20 points21 points  (6 children)

Fieldnote from Scandinavia: The scene is probably a bit different over here. When I broke up from my son's mother a year back, I installed Tinder mostly for fun without thinking it'd lead to something.

I'm not a hugely good looking chap. Average you might say, but I managed to get 60 matches within a week and 14 dates in as many days. If nothing else, I discovered what a huge amount of work it is to meet girls. I met all kinds of girls, old, young, single mothers, childless... How eagerly they matched with me didn't really depend much on their status in that regard. What struck me is that over here, women know to use Tinder and men don't as much, so there was a huge imbalance in the ratio of women to men - in my favour. One girl told me she struggled to get 10 matches in 3 months and she was a petite dancer. Sweet and kind.

Some of the girls would've let me stay the night, but weren't really my type and some were quite willing... I also met quite a few that were way above my level (I know, a bad mindset, but the RP way of life doesn't come overnight). Still, when you meet a 10/10 lawyer / prosecutor who used to be a criminal investigator half the year and sail the seven seas the other half, you get kind of self-conscious.

Anyhow, what was most beneficial to getting a match was probably my description. I started out with "A minimalist enjoyer of arts and life". I got a huge amount of matches with that. I then made it longer and put in something about liking to improve myself etc. Bad choice. Keep it short and sweet and don't contradict your statement of minimalism by rambling on.

Girls would always ask me about how minimalism showed in my life and what it meant for me. Once I made the description longer, I got virtually no matches at all until I changed it back.

What probably comes as no surprise to most of you is that my most popular photos were those where I do something. Chicks loved a photo of me where I'm hanging out the sunroof of a car with a professional looking camera in my hand, smiling, on vacation with my buddies.

What also happened very soon was that the girls I did end up seeing on a regular basis where quite adamant that I delete my Tinder profile and not see any other girls. In true RP fashion I was open about it and didn't try to hide it and they all said the same thing: "It feels really odd that you'd keep seeing other girls while we're going out". Women: gatekeepers of sex, Men: gatekeepers of commitment. Same old story.

[–]jtrees100 13 points14 points  (1 child)

It also doesn't hurt that your average Scandinavian girl is like a 7/8 by US standards.

[–]jaysire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're emulating the american way of life down to the obesity epidemic. Still, we're a far cry from UK yet, so it's all good for now.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

What also happened very soon was that the girls I did end up seeing on a regular basis where quite adamant that I delete my Tinder profile and not see any other girls.

Jeez and this was before you guys were even close to a committed relationship.

[–]jaysire 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I know, right. The petite dancer told me she found it odd, but was ok with it. But as we met a few more times, she started repeating it many times that it felt really odd and that she wasn't sure how to feel about it.

By then I met someone else on Tinder I spent a bit more time on and she started out by telling me NOT to delete my Tinder, because it would make her panic that we were getting serious too soon. I told her I had no plans to delete my Tinder and within a week or two she changed her tune to "I think we shouldn't delete our profiles, but I think we also shouldn't actively use Tinder any longer".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, there is something wrong with the petite dancer, if she really thinks you are gonna stop seeing other girls when you aren't in a committed relationship. Good for holding your ground. If you went with it, she would have started demanding other things.

Honestly, don't even bring it up and if she does, tell her you will drop her if she keeps mentioning it.

[–]Boovs4life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're average looking and matched with 60 girls in a week? I wonder what being above average gets you

[–]RPFlame 32 points33 points  (9 children)

So you'd think that after 30's you're shit out of luck around building a career? Is 30's the wall equivalent of women, but for men it happens with work?

I think I agree. I'm 35 trying to start a new career because I threw half of my 20's being depressed for being rejected by my oneitis, the other half playing video games and doing jobs that pay a dollar per hour, and I feel that trying to start over to get a decent job I like is an uphill battle.

Hell, even finding a job that pays a dollar per hour is an uphill battle, as people prefer college students for them.

For me, the biggest regret isn't that I didn't partied and fucked around, but that I didn't invested in my career. I also like how one of the stickies made me consider "forgiving myself" for my past mistakes, yet at the same time your thread makes me aware of them again. No matter how much I am willing to forgive me, the truth remains truth.

Guys in your 20's: Abandon the "your youth is the best time to party" narrative, put your work first, and partying second. After a long day dedicated to your studying/working, the leisure breaks will be so much more sweeter. Trust me.

[–]frys180 13 points14 points  (8 children)

I'm 26 years old.

It's been really hitting me for the past 2 years that time is of the essence. In three months I'm going to be 27 and, in my opinion, nothing much has changed. Sure I'm in better shape but career wise, I know I can do better. I really need to step it up. For this past month (June) I've been much more serious in the choices I've made and I can already see a difference. I only want to move forward and grow. Not stay stagnant and fall.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just keep training to be that alpha buck version of yourself. It may not come as quick as you want, but if you keep building, you can grow into that adult male dominant mentality.

This has been a big insight for me recently. I'm 27 and thoroughly disappointed with life so far. I'm a late bloomer and have been in a constant state of anxiety over my future. That fear however keeps you out of touch with the adult masculine confidence and hunger for success. It's really quite animalistic at bottom. As males we grow slowly and gradually. Don't allow panic to fuck with you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

[–]chostax- 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Good luck man. 24 and currently in my masters, with a job lined up and I still feel like I'm almost out of time.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Lol dude you're trippin. 24 in grad school with a job lined up is not remotely behind on time

[–]chostax- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I'm doing good for myself, but my point is that I still feel like I'm losing out by being in school. Currently have no life or fun but it'll be worth it when I'm done in a year.

[–]Project_Thor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

He has the proper mentality.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How do you mean? I agree a sense of urgency is always helpful, but he's really not behind by any measure.

[–]Project_Thor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause he is disciplined and values his time

[–]tedcase 48 points49 points  (11 children)

Im turning 31 this year. I cannot argue with the contents of this post at all, they are spot on,


Im gonna ignore them and do whatever the fuck I want.

Backstory, my 20's were a big mix. Got a job straight out of undergrad and moved to the far east. Had an awesome time doing a job I loved. Returned to the UK with modest savings and spent it on a Master's degree, meanwhile working in Jnr management for a big hotel chain. I then got my current job, which keeps me fit and is relatively high SMV in the UK (Army officer).

Now Im turning 31 this year and my current plan is to quit in about 18 months time and go back to teaching English in the far east. Why? because I enjoyed it and I was good at it. I cannot say that for my current job.

English Teaching in Asia is a dead end job. You will be very unlikely to promote and you will have a modest, if comfortable salary by local standards, but the lifestyle and opportunities to learn new languages etc are priceless.

Maybe in a few years I could get back into a "Real" career, but the old clock is ticking.

I guess my only point is that yes, the OP is 100% correct that if you want a high pressure, high salary job in your 30's and 40's, you need to put in a shit ton of work in your 20's. I did that, but I have decided that I simply dont want a high pressure job. I would rather enjoy this one life that I have. I cant think of anything more RP than just doing whatever the fuck you want to do with your life.

Good luck to all the 20 somethings on here.

[–]Enlightened_Chimp 21 points22 points  (5 children)

I see this as one of the primary decisions in life: 1. Work your ass off to try and make lots of money so you can live a comfortable, luxurious lifestyle in the future (high stress, high reward, early retirement) 2. Do what you love, make less money, live off a substandard salary but live a much more relaxed, less stressed life.

I'm 26 and am struggling with this decision right now. I'm currently going down path 1 but am thinking of drifting towards path 2 at some point because I just hate the high stress and control in the corporate environment.

[–]tedcase 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Hi buddy, I know you didnt ask for advice, but this is the internet, so here it comes.

Work hard for option 1. It is so easy for someone doing option 1 to say "Fuck it" and switch to option 2. After 30, it is almost impossible to go the other way round.

Work hard, keep your options open.

[–]Enlightened_Chimp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Appreciate the advice. Ya, that's what I'm doing right now just really been thinking heavily about this lately.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My choice was to start my own blog tricking guys into following my PUA advice. The ads made loads and now I'm set for a while. Oh wait, that's Roosh.

No but seriously I started my own business when I was 20 and am now closing in on 30. It's making me close to 6 figures, not quite. But importantly while it is stressful I'm not answering to a boss, just customers. It is way less stressful than a normal job considering the current market. And I have enough spare income I've purchased 6 Duplex which are generating several thousand of month along with equity, which I'm using to expand and purchase more.

I'd never want a "career" working on wallstreet or some other bs. But I understand not everyone can work for themselves and create a business. If takes discipline that I've almost broke many times.

[–]Rhunta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you can do 1 but with something you love. I love coding it gives me a strange kind of satisfaction when I have solved a problem through coding. I am now in the phase to starting a company and build a game. The concept is really good. Only need more experience, time and money.

[–]FerociousOreos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm 21 and studying to be a mechanic. It doesn't pay as well as an investment banker, but it's what I want to do with my life. So I work as a general service technician, and I'm studying my ass off to get better.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You failed at your mission so you tell others not to bother. Anyone who up votes this is lazy. Status and your mission is not dependant on money or long hours. Most high status men I know work less hours that others and they are never wage slaves. You conflate success and status with money.

[–]eltoast 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Another vote here for doing whatever the fuck you want.

I got a 4 year engineering degree, then up to 80k/yr in two and a half years. But, 60-70 hours a week and having to respond at all hours to hundreds of emails and conference calls was hell on earth.

Said fuck it, left Texas to move across the country. Now I'm working part time bullshit jobs, spending my time outdoors and I can't ever see myself at a desk job again. No more stress or anxiety, I feel like I'm actually experiencing life. My life revolves around hiking, rock climbing, running in gorgeous places, motorcycle groups, traveling, and saving/looking for a ranch.

Most "real" careers, you have to get into management to keep climbing. If you need the 6 figure lifestyle, OP is totally right about working your ass off through your 20s to get there. But, stop and look at the people their 40s you work for and put yourself in their shoes. In my industry at least, they're all online doing emails and calls 24/7, on top of putting in at least 70 hours a week.

I couldn't do anything but work, decompress, repeat. I can't imagine trying to raise a family or keep a wife when you're not working and awake all of 2-3 hours a day. Ambition drives a lot of people, but I've never lost any sleep over my lifetime earnings or retirement plummeting. I'm happier than I ever thought was possible on a third the budget. Downside, I lost a lot of SMV, but I actually have time to lift now.

Obviously, if you want to make big money or never have, you should try. Don't stay in denial about your potential if it could make you happier.

[–]harsheehorshee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you're not one of those creepy military sexpats that couldn't hack it back in the uk, good for you.

[–]Duke_LFG 50 points51 points  (69 children)

I'm 28 and I just can't get fucking laid. I need a mentor in real life. I've added so many valuable assets into my life, but I just don't think I'm getting anywhere. I hang out with alphas more, hard dumped any BP friends, and I'm surrounded by women.

What the fuck am I missing?

[–]vagbutters 59 points60 points  (1 child)

The biggest factor that a lot of guys overlook is the most obvious: physical appearance.

Is your physique fat or scrawny? Get to the gym and devote as long as it takes to get to around 10-13% BF with a good amount of muscle.

Are your clothes stylish/do they fit well? If not, look into buying some good looking clothes.

How does your hair/facial hair look? How are your teeth/general aesthetics? If you look unkempt, no girl is going to want to fuck you.

If the above three are rock solid, you've done 90% job-- the rest just boils down to game and logistics. I guarantee your problems lie within one of those 3

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 21 points22 points  (8 children)

Do you approach?

Do you get physical and escalate?

Do you have a logistical plan to get them into your bed? Do you get phone numbers?

If you do dates do you go out or invite them home? How hard do you push to go home and watch that one movie or chill?

Usually the problem is either not getting physical and sexual fast enough or its logistics of getting her on your bed or couch.

[–][deleted] 9 points9 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Tamarin24 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When to escalate? Always. Push and pull as necessary for the situation. But, if she's giving you the time of day for a conversation, escalate escalate escalate.

[–]magus678 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Girls will keep saying "no" verbally, but they're just waiting for you to escalate.

This is dumb advice. If a girl actually says no, just get out of there. There is far too much risk, and lots more fish in the sea.

That being said, sometimes girls will show verbal trepidation, and to a limited degree it is OK to push through this.

But an actual "No" is done. Treating it as anything else is just amateur hour.

[–]Xetios 5 points6 points  (3 children)

That's not even remotely true. I've heard so many sex stories involving the girl saying no stop I can't do this, etc. Girls don't know what the fuck they want and my friends certainly didn't rape them.

[–]magus678 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Girls don't know what the fuck they want and my friends certainly didn't rape them.

Until they did.

I'm not saying that it couldn't work, I'm just saying it is bad policy. Plus, not even necessary. I've never had to deal with a moment like that myself. Even if I did, abundance mentality: there are so many other girls in the world, why risk that she does "mean it?"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could always go for the cold stop if you don't mind essentially guilting her into fucking you.

Basically, if you're making out and you start going for the home run and she says "no" or "wait" you just stop dead, get up and ignore her. Maybe go do something else. Then she's will either 1. Feel bad and try and make it up to you, 2. Say "waitt come back" or 3. She will outright leave and say you any more effort.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone needs to learn the difference between a hard no and a soft no. This is absolutely key. Not knowing the difference will either 1. Not get your laid or 2. End up sexually assaulting a chick. Both outcomes are not ideal, for obvious reasons.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (5 children)

You're a fool for dumping bp friends. Them being bp has nothing to do with what they can offer you. Sure they're bp but maybe they're insanely good with cars and you just missed out on helping him out with his project and learning a whole bunch.

If they're lazy, unmotivated and don't do anything with themselves then that's perfectly fine.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I find that most BP friends play a lot of video games, don't socialize much, don't lift, and do not try to improve in the slightest. They also tend to want you to put all the effort into hanging out. I've just stopped talking to most of mine and its been better off. Instead of going to them when I'm bored for a distraction I find a way to improve myself with new social groups/people or self improvement.

Now if a guy is BP in his relationships but manages to do the right things elsewhere, then thats not bad at all and I suggest keeping the around.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

So do I. Add in smoking weed everyday too. BP friends will usually side with their girlfriends too, so if his gf hates you you're fucked. Lost my best mate over that, and my entire friendship circle.

I have a couple of close mates now and talk to my work mates often and that's it. But since ditching them (or being ditched rather), I've spent much more time on my hobbies that otherwise would've been spent smoking weed, gaming and frolicking around their house aimlessly.

[–]Duke_LFG 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Flat earth hiroshima denier. Dumped.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (12 children)

Start by thinking you CAN for one.

Also consider lowering your standards for a bit. Find a girl who's down to slam, get it out of your system, then climb the ladder up and out from there.

[–]erikor 17 points18 points  (11 children)

I don't think there are any girls who are "down to slam" or he wouldn't have made that post.

[–]dingman58 24 points25 points  (8 children)

You've never really lowered your standards if you think there is no single girl around who would be your slam pig

[–]Rice_Fields 7 points7 points [recovered]

... Thinking about the kind of girls I know I could get into bed right away, no effort, I'm not sure I'd go for it myself

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He's talking about fat chicks, annoying chicks, ugly chicks. You name it.

[–]ChadThundercockII 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Basically, anything with a vagina.

[–]dingman58 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, the point isn't that you would enjoy it, or even that you should do it. The point is that, yes you can fuck girls at any level of game/handsomeness/etc

[–]erikor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are guys below what you can imagine who are not desired by any girls.

[–]the_number_2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I've got a roster of about three girls on perpetual standby of "In Case of Desperation, Break Glass" types. I'm thankfully I've never been THAT hard up.

[–]erikor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many guys who have no girl that would want to have sex with them.

[–]4D6N2 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Then he's not looking hard enough. He's too busy feeling sorry for himself instead of going out, or working on his game. End of story.

[–]erikor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe you didn't read his post. He is obviously trying to improve and isn't busy feeling orry for himself. The fact that he is failing so far doesn't mean that he isn't trying, he would just need to adjust what he's doing and he is well aware of that.

[–]fuckin_retard 6 points6 points [recovered]

  1. what do you look like?
  2. what valuable assets have you added?
  3. how often do you go out?
  4. how many phone numbers are you getting?
  5. how many girls are you actively talking to on a regular basis?
  6. how many dates are you taking girls on?
  7. how are these dates going?

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Let me put this in the most blunt way possible, at risk of being an asshole: you're either ugly or a pussy. So either clean up your look (not just the gym, but style helps too), or stop just hanging around alphas and start being one. You don't want to be the wannabe hanging around some group of friends just tagging along, you want to make yourself the guy who gets girls

[–]netherlanddwarf 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Quick note (I'm 29); for me I am good looking, run my own business and was just missing one simple fucking thing. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't seal the deal. I wish I could post IMGUR's of all the ladies I fool around with for 2015-2016. TRP helped me with one simple fucking thing... shit tests. I always failed the shit tests because I was afraid of getting yelled at. If you truly want to dominate, you have to lock eye contact and don't budge. Allow her to say whatever she wants but don't budge. Get closer and smile no matter what she says. We are all animals and need to reproduce. Whatever she is saying doesn't mean anything. Lock eyes, provide her a safe route back to a safe place to fuck. Trust that you will give her everything well, if you can't then you don't deserve to get it. DO NOT FLINCH!!!

[–]Duke_LFG 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Honestly you're right I don't really have an excuse I just hear so many accusations of false rape it's been really f****** f****** with my brain is scaring the s*** out of me

[–]netherlanddwarf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course. Be an alpha and know the situation. There is an appropriate time to socialize and there is not. When you are already in mid conversation in a social setting and you bring up "having fun" she will shit test you. It is in her nature to throw up defense. If she maintains eye contact after saying something about rejecting you flat out, she is waiting to gauge your reaction. Smile and/or match her seriousness. After a couple of moments she will break. If she ends the conversation and leaves abruptly, obviously don't pursue it. You don't want to hit on a girl in an environment that doesn't call for it.

[–]Way_Of_Man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What are the logistics of where you live?

[–]jtrees100 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I consider myself quite experienced on the subject of smashing. When I actually put in effort to roundup ass I had a solid wingman who built me up and I did the same for him. It was also beneficial because we established code words/nonverbal communication to keep each other in check as well. We def invested a lot of time, which in our late teens, early 20's was considered well spent (not anymore), to go out to the livest parties every week prob 3-4 nights a week. I would say out success rate with "hooking up" at the club/event/etc. was prob close to 75% and full on taking chicks to smash like >50% of the time. We just socialized with everyone in the fucking place and these encounters would unfold naturally. That's not to say we didn't send plenty of signals and make it completely obvious what we were up to at some point.

[–]vorverk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep increasing SMV. Once your SMV will be high enough they'll be begging you to fuck them. Until then, approach, lift, read, repeat. Error on the bold side, not safe (not on coworkers though).

[–]drallcom3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Unpopular answer, but it definitely helps: Lower your standards until you can consistently get laid. That's your standard. Then work your way up from there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Did you tried that or do you just think it'd be neat?

[–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did... my standards went up very quickly. Having abundance mentality works wonders when dealing with women

[–]peruvianlurker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let go man, beat that anxiety, stop worrying about it, just try to have genuine fun.

[–]suske127 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'd bet good money that it's "Escalation" ~ But not only that.. I'm struggling with this idea myself, right now, that you need to realize, women who are down to fuck will make you do 100% of the work. You have to escalate; And then escalate more; and then even more; etc.

And that is after you get them in the mood, after you take them home, after you get them in your bedroom.. You have to "suggest" or demand each and every step. The only guy who doesn't have to do this is Chad Thundercock, the 6' foot lifeguard who benches 300 and is alpha as fuck, with a fat wallet. That is the only guy that the chicks will escalate to fuck

[–]slay_it_forward 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The only part you got wrong was the fat wallet. Completely unnecessary for a cool, dominant, alpha, good-looking, tall, jacked lifeguard.

[–]Freiling 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Sounds like you want it too much. Forget about women, and they'll come to you.

[–]Duke_LFG 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Youre kind of right. Im just really ready to move on from this life of isolation, and just have have fun and enjoy the sexy ride of this world.

[–]Freiling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life of isolation, huh?

Are you making the most of that? Sometimes I choose isolation so I can re-center myself, do the "working on me" thing for a while. But other times I isolate so I can slip into bad habits and stagnate. Only one of those patterns ends up turning into a death spiral.

Isolation doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's just a thing. Make the best of it.

[–]runswiththelions 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Why do you want to get laid?

[–]Duke_LFG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it feels good and its the only way to get ahead in life. Its an RP truth.

[–]masterpiece00 38 points39 points  (15 children)

This reads like a womens blog post and contradicts a lot of red pill things.

Move to the big city, engineered to support feminist women? and where everyone just like you is going there also -- to fight for small apartments, all the jobs and high cost of living/traffic?

'Diplomas are worth shit these day', how many times have we heard from the graduates who cant work in their field. People are supposed to be happy with ONE career for 70 years like in is 1950?

You can't changed professions at 40/50? no late bloomers find their passion later? only people under 20/30 study. Apparently men need 'have all their fun/travel' in the red pill assigned but ironic 'low smv 20's' before their biological clock ticks away, yet in five other threads men are killing it all the way to 60.

[–]EliQuince 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree, I find this post full of contradictions. "Become a bartender! Read a book! Be social but don't be too social" it's just vague enough to feel motivating, but tries too hard to generalize and catch-all as if we should all have the same wants in life.

[–]StoicRN 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm backing this. Sure an early start is great, but I know people in their 50s/60s that still train their bodies to the best of their abilities like killing machines, and have a sense of humor that makes me feel young again (I'm 23).

The part where people who live in small towns are boring and useless.. And big cities are full of just the coolest, realest people.. sounds like the undergrad honeymoon phase.

I think in the education aspect, you just need to make sure the investment you make is in a field with job security and equivalent pay for the commitment.

I was lucky enough to have a mom who supported a work ethic and doing things you didn't necessarily want to do. I've always worked and she made me pay my own bills. She understood I didn't know what I wanted to do straight out of high school, and didn't rush me into a university of debt, but still knew nowadays to get a good pay, you need to get that "piece of paper".

Community colleges work wonders.

Solid discussion going on here, good stuff.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Agreed. The city is no place for a masculine man. Not in the first world anyway.

[–]ChadThundercockII 0 points1 point  (5 children)

City is where the money is. Money= Freedom.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You can make money wherever you go if you're clever enough. It's just easiest in the city.

[–]ChadThundercockII 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The city is abundant. In big cities, there are virgin markets and undiscovered markets. You can sell anything in a city.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a city you have to sell 5 things to get by but in a town you only need to sell 1 or 2.

[–]space_cadet_mkultra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can confirm this. College students (and to a lesser extent high school students) will buy certain products at markups up to 500x.

Is profitable.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

City is where the money is wasted.

There is absolutely no reason to go to a city if you don't enjoy it except that it's where most of the girls go.

This thread sounds like it was written by a salesman.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yea...... as someone who spent 8 years in prison, the 20s were gone.

Those of you starting in your 30s, you get out and just hustle.

Sure as fuck having your 20s is a huge step up to have a solid 30s, but not everyone is blessed with the summer movie redpill college networking building game and career cushy life on wallstreet after a decade of interning and climbing the corporate ladder.

Those of you doing your 30s now, just fucking do it. Think about it, your bluepill 20s was your prison time. It's done and over. Get your job, have your whatever degree, and get to work. Who gives a fuck if you're not a retire by 40 realestate developer or a senior manager engineer, or a seasoned wallstreet investor. Hustle now, hit bars, scope out loose women, get laid.

Those who were blessed with middle class parents, attractive looks, 4.0 gpa, and got the football scholarship will always have shit on easy mode telling you to work hard and you can have it too.

Those of you who fucked up and thought making $1500 for 3 days of work hustling meth and paid the consequence, shit is a little bit harder. You gotta hustle more than others but quite frankly, you can monk mode with your third shift job and wage slave money and still have a good time and get laid.

[–]Way_Of_Man 19 points20 points  (3 children)

The 30s are no place to build a career from scratch.

As a mid 30s guy building his career the last couple of years, I'm echoing this sentiment.

I discovered PUA when I was about 22 and let the pursuit of women completely take over my life for about the next 6-7 years. It ate up a majority of my 20s. Next thing I knew, I was 31 and working at a job that paid 1 dollar an hour more than what I was doing at 21.

Disregarding the building of income potential during my 20s is literally my only big regret in life. Well.....that and not properly plating the girl I slept with who looked like a prime Michelle Pfeiffer. But I digress.

This clip should be a daily affirmation for every guy in this sub.

[–]jtrees100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty much you with a slighlty earlier PUA start date. I have 3 jobs now to make up for it.

[–]skoobled 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THIS is a good response to all the guys who think it's a good plan to "drop out" and become that sexy edgy guy who excites chicks. There's gonna be a long term cost. You have to strike a balance

[–]strat_op 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I want to expand on friends. Realise that the friendships you form in your 20s are most likely the tightest bonds you will develop as you - regularly - share life changing and character forming experiences. You should come out of your twenties with one or two extremely close friends who you can steal horses with. Keep onto those.

Second, balance - Career should be your main focus as general corporate high level recruiting, like the Wall Street example highlighted, focusses on this age group. On the other hand, repeating the headline again, you cannot just postpone every experience to your thirties. The levity and lightheartedness you have in your twenties will be lost sooner than you think. Of course you can still party, travel, do sportingevents - it wont however have this "glow", this feeling that this is the only thing in the world important now. I know it sounds a bit wimpsy and emotional but really, this time doesnt come back.

[–]saiyanmentality 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I'm 22 and i'm working my ass off for a better future. I quit programming because it made me miserable and being an introvert lacking some fundamental social skills I felt like it was destroying me. Currently working 40 hours a week and going to the gym right after dinner. Also studying in the weekends for a big math test which will allow my to enter the study I want. My weekly schedule is PACKED.

The only thing that currently gives me issues is the lack of social interactions. I honestly wonder if its worth it from time to time. I still have some months before I can enroll in the study. I feel like i'm 'waiting' for the social life to happen because i'm busy all the time. Any thoughts on this from some older guys?

[–]meanwhile_in_SC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wrote a quick reply to OP about choosing your major below... I'm a 28yr old lawyer and will tell you be so SO careful about choosing what you want to do. Remember you do not owe anyone anything (even your parents) so if anyone is pushing you in one direction or another regarding major, consider their 'advice' and if you want to ignore it, do so.

Meditate on who you are and your personality. Take personality inventories and consider your major and career path accordingly. A career is something you will do on daily basis for years. Be passionate about it and make sure it aligns with who you are. You don't have to do it forever, but if you're going to put that much effort into it for even a few years, make sure it's something you can enjoy.

"Quit programming because you're introverted to seek something with more social interactions" these are some major illogical inconsistencies there that don't make sense. You may not be as introverted as you think, or you may be longing for social interaction because you're young and still going through growth and change in the brain that you haven't thought through.

Feeling like you're "waiting" for the social life sounds like you are placing some emphasis and rose-colored glasses on the outside work time. If that's what you're doing, then you're job may not be satisfying to you or may not be something you're passionate about. If you can't find some contentedness in what you do with the bulk of your week (working), then all the time outside of work will look great (in your mind). Find that balance and find a job that suits your personality - it's a job, not a party. The social stuff will come after work and be much more meaningful if you're happy with where you spend the bulk of your time.

[–]megadummy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently taking software development and I hate it. What are you moving on to study?

[–]meanwhile_in_SC 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Excellent post. I'm 28 and I read The Defining Decade when I finished law school a few years ago. Great book and started opening my eyes to the nature of 20-something girls in society today (this was before I knew about TRP). I'd like to add one thing to your post since you invited.

1) For those in college or soon to be in college - PICK YOUR MAJOR CAREFULLY. You are young and fresh in a brand new place away from mommy and daddy with so many young girls and exciting things ahead of you. The number of distractions and 'confusers' in the college arena make logically thinking through major selection almost impossible. Your brain is going through puberty and major changes, you have very little experience in the world, and I'm willing to be you've rarely meditated or taken personality inventories. You do not know yourself well enough to pick (and heavily invest) in a major. Take your time.

My anecdote is that in HS I knew I wanted to be an engineer. I got to college and between friends, girls, the nature of the job market and the world, I decided business was for me and started that path. Didn't like it and switched to a major that was wildly different than my personality. I chose this major because I wouldn't have to go backwards and take out debt. Realized my mistake, decided to keep going forward and chose law school for graduate school.

Three years into practicing and the misalignment between my job and my personality can be crushing at times. Lawyering is great, but it is difficult to put your all (which every man should do) into something that you don't have the passion for. Worse I realized in law school that it wasn't for me but was too proud and committed socially to stop. I felt like I owed it to my parents and friends to go through with it. Don't live for other people, do what you feel is right.

I am glad that I have that education. But I spend my weekends building things and learning engineering. I'm about to start a class in the fall at my community college so I'll have the option to back to school for engineering next year if I want.

College guys - don't wait 10 years to figure out your major. Take personality inventories, meditate on who you are at your core, ignore the distractions of college when deciding your path. You can save so much time and energy by asking deep questions about where you see yourself now. Honestly, if you really have the option, WAIT to go to college. It is a scam of banks and government that society wants you to go straight out of highschool when you likely have no idea who you are or what you want to do.

[–]LockedOnTheRedPill 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Solid post. As a dude who is 18, this really helps as start to plan out my later life. One thing I will add that helps me is to keep a list of your long and short-term goals. Studies show that if you keep a list of goals you want to complete in the near future and also broad goals, You are more likely to complete them. A short term goal is hitting a new PR in the gym, or approaching a certain amount of girls in a week. Long term goals could be things like graduate school, losing that extra 20 pounds you know you need to lose, or even planning a nice vacation. Also, take at least five minutes per day and devote it to learning that language you always wanted to learn, guitar, or even practicing game. It can be anything you want that is productive. You'll be glad you started in your 20s and not your 30s.

[–]leftenant_t 15 points16 points  (5 children)

I would kill to be 18 with TRP knowledge.

[–]suske127 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I'm also 18. Was raised BF as FUCK; But once I hit HS I started to notice so many RP truths.. Thought I was a MRA at 16, MGTOW at 17, then I found TRP.. And I know this is my calling. If everybody needs a "lable" then this is mine. I am eternally grateful that I was able to find such a great wealth of information and wisdom at such a young age

[–]meh613 0 points1 point  (3 children)

So, here's a potentially stupid question for you -- what do you think is the difference/overlap between being an MRA, MGTOW, TRP, etc. or are they just the same philosophy with emphasis on different aspects of it? MRA emphasising men's rights, TRP emphasising lifting, and MGTOW, emphasising self sufficiency. Any thoughts? Or is this a query better suited for another spot on this network?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

MRA = Fighting for men's rights TRP = Optimizing male sexual strategy MGTOW = Fuck it all

There definitely are overlaps, but each movement emphasizes different core topics, that means you may be part of one and actually reject the others.

[–]CRITICAL9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me MGTOW and theredpill both share the same knowledge on women but come to a different conclusion on the best course of action. Many MRA's don't like us and some do like us, depends really.

[–]suske127 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually a great question. Hard to answer too. I think all are based upon the fact that women suck lmao. MRA is kinda' the blue-pill version of "women suck" ~ MGTOW is the Red-Pill version, and then TRP is the "Let's use it all to my advantage and slay women" version.

Sounds like the best idea to me

[–]marvelousmarv2022 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel blessed to already have started doing these things at 18

[–]greatsalteedude 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I don't have too much to say, but could you please make a post for guys under 20?

Edit: (I'm about to turn 17 this year)

[–]chostax- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends, because generally in your 20s is more to do with the mental and physical state you are in. After all, it is just a number. But some people hit their 20s before they are 20,if that makes sense.

What I'm trying to say is that it's never too early to focus on yourself but it's also possible that you still don't know what you want to be or who you are. Being in your 20s is about finding out who that person is, and working toward it. You have a head start, don't take it for granted.

[–]aewiggin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

  1. Lift
  2. Do well in school
  3. Get a casual job
  4. Learn how to drink responsibly
  5. Develop hobbies that aren't related to "nerd culture" (easy on the gaming, anime etc.)

I don't have much advice on girls and shit in high school cause I was a late bloomer.

[–]ChadThundercockII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing well in school is imperative. It is only after we fuck it up and have to find a job or gt into grad school that we realize how much importance those grades had.

[–]ChadThundercockII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one thing I can recommend is reading the Way of the Superior Man.

[–]SanchitoQ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

36, here.

I agree with the point above, and to me, it all boils down to this:

Your 30's will be entirely based on what you do/don't do in your 20's. Set yourself up for success, and you'll crush it and love every second of your 30's. Fuck around, do nothing, and/or screw up (get fired/arrested), and you'll be doing nothing but playing catchup and resenting the successful guys around you.

It's all in your hands, way more than you realize.

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[–]Crailberry 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I'm 27, and I've dealt with social anxiety my whole life, friend. I turn fucking red in the face when I get embarrassed or all the attention is on me. Happened yesterday in a meeting with all my coworkers. Everyone turned to look at me and just blushed big time. I fucking hate it. But guess what? I ain't dead. I've just learned to laugh at myself, because it is quite ridiculous, and I'm the only one who cares.

And, I would like to make a biased recommendation to you as far as a career goes. Go into electrical automation and robotic technology, Computer Science, Computer Engineering, or Software Engineering. Just about all those will guarantee you a six figure income at some point in the future, and you will always have a job. You're not tech savvy? Guess what, I didn't even know how a fucking AA battery worked before I went into my school's automation program. Now I program and troubleshoot electrical equipment, make a little over $25/hr straight out of school, benefits, and paid vacation/sick time/holidays. ANYBODY can LEARN anything, you just have to have to dedicate yourself and have a good work ethic. Trust me, if an ex heroin/cocaine addict can do it (me), so can you.

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[–]Crailberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When it comes to me getting into my current industry, I just got really lucky. I grew up not having a clue what I wanted to do. One day when my work laid me off from production work, they let me do an internship for less money in their automation department. I said sure what the hell, and ended up really enjoying it. And so it began.

Just don't let something intimidate you. If you want to be an engineer, then go for it. Anybody can be an engineer, it really isn't that hard. Like I said before, all it takes is work ethic.

[–]ld122012 1 points1 points [recovered]

Hey friend, just as an aside, if blushing / sweating and redness in the face is still a problem for you, (or whoever else is reading this message) speak to your GP about a drug called Propranolol.

It works by reducing all physiological effects of anxiety I. E shaking of the hands, flushed face, higher heart rate etc. but will not help with the mental aspect unfortunately. It is prescribed often for musicians for stage fright and the like. Just a shout.

[–]Crailberry 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Interesting! I've never heard of that. I will look into that, even though I'm completely against relying on a drug. But hey if it doesn't have an nasty side effects then why not! Thanks!

[–]Jakei34 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe this to be a good and helpful post. Thanks

[–]SupremeMystique 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm 23 and I feel like these are things I should have done when I was 15. Especially networking and making friends.

[–]Surfincloud9 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I wasted the early half of my 20s. Heroin addict, shooting up, working dead end jobs, chubby/unfit and just in the drug scene. I did manage to get my degree in biochemistry through that time but after college, the first 3 years were that of a nightmare. I just landed a job working in bioinformatics and chemical diagnostics at 25 at a really well known company that is quite small too (pays 3 times higher than any job I previously had). I couldn't be more grateful for this opportunity and I know it's going to jump start my career. Also, almost 2 years sober from heroin now and spend an hour in the gym everyday.

You guys can do anything.

[–]Crailberry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I commented pretty much the exact same scenario! My early 20's were spent as a heroin and cocaine addict as well. A slave to the needle and just afraid of life in general. Been clean for 4 or 5 years now (I don't keep track). Got my degree in automation and robotics last December at 27 years old. So I think that's fucking cool to hear about someone just like me who came from what I did and made it out. So props to you! Keep going, this life is so much better, as I'm sure you've experienced. People like us that have experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs are the best kind of people!

[–]Bitcoin-FTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree with it all except the "Career" thing.

Go to school, pick your degree carefully, work hard in it, invest in your retirement plan, retire, die. This seems like a very blue pill, unawakened view on life.

For one, just because you are passionate about something at 22 doesn't mean you'll still want to work at it at 30 or 40.

Second, it's about money, plain and simple. Millionaires don't need 9-5 "careers".

I would advise to develop skills that can make money, and then make money. Living your life with some 45 year career in mind seems extremely outdated and depressing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good thread. I am over 50 and I am an ultra high status male. Let me tell you all the most important thing to focus on in your 20s, to the exclusion of everything else if necessary, and that is your mission. Of course do not be a fatass and keep fit but first of all focus on your job/ education or career. Everything you will be in the future is dependant on this. If you do not know what your career or job trajectory is by the time you are 30 then you are already one of society's long line of failures. Do not be the guy who cannot afford to get his car fixed who is over 30. Do not be the tight ass who only wants to order the cheapest meal from the cheapest restaurant. Do not take pride in making do with less. Other high status men will not like you, we will use you and laugh at you and you will never be invited to any of the great places we go. High status males only respect status, drive, creativity and ambition.

[–]kdashh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just turned 21, Great post that reaffirms a lot of things since swallowing the pill.

[–]RealRational 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I really like this post, I turn 28 this year and I have done literally all of this already!

[–]hugaddiction 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If you have already checked everything off on the list, go do more of it. Go travel more, go crush your job and make more money.

30s you knows he didnt know as much as he thought he did when he was in his 20s. And, he wishes he would have pushed it harder, and taken more advantage of, his ample free time, plethora of social availability, and opportunities for personal growth. So, don't assume you know what it is about and hang up your towel. You have the playbook, now go be a man.

[–]RealRational 0 points1 point  (1 child)

For sure, I'm in process of moving my power base to another state since the one I've been stuck in for 20 years is dying. Finally have enough passive income and capital to do it on my terms, so I am.

[–]hugaddiction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

very well done. Acheiving goals is hard and feels good. And, I too am in a go nowhere town and need to get myself together and move back to a more dynamic city. It makes quality of life a lot better

[–]swishman 2 points2 points [recovered]

I just don't understand how to go about starting this. I am 22. How do you just make friends, expand social circle? I've never done that before, no idea how

[–]chostax- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For some it comes naturally. For others you have to be conscientious and mindful when networking to say the right things. If you find yourself more like the latter, try and read up about it and PRACTICE. If it isn't second nature, it has to be learned like any other skill. Networking is the most important thing in regards to opportunity.

[–]Devil_In_Black 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not bad but a lot of this post is crap. You can't live in that big city and make money at the same time. Pick one. Career changes happen all the time. A lot of the big startups were ventured by guys in their fifties.

I agree with don't get married. That is a big time and money suck. You can't build a career, make money and travel at the same time in your 20's. Pick one.

This actually reads like something from a helicopter parent that grew up thinking that life is a straight line.

As a man, be happy in whatever it is you do. THAT is the greatest advice from the red pill. A man is ever more a man when he is happy in his ventures whether it's working 80 hours a week or just skirting by life in repose. Taking back your life and doing what you want with it is the greatest lesson. Don't just blindly take advice from an Internet forum, this included, or let others make you feel guilty for your choices. If it makes you happy and fulfills you as a man, it is the best choice for you, others be damned.

[–]kaane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bonus point should be the first one

After all being an alpha is all about endurance and adaptation

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[–]Ursula88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you married her, I suggest that you think about divorce. No point in being miserable and hating your life. She probably isn't too happy with you either; contempt is hard to hide. You can change your life. Look at all the great encouragement and advice here; it's like having good friends with your best interests in mind. You're only 30, jeez, still a youngster. Don't make excuses for yourself.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Lol dude literally no one on here could answer this question for you, it would require quite a bit of insight into the details of your life. Totally valid question for you to be considering in your mind. It's just funny cuz there's no way for someone from the Internet who doesn't know you to jurisdict one way or another.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

deleted What is this?

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah trust me I know how much of a head fuck it is to see yourself objectively. If this is really a big issue for you man, I'd recommend trying some psychedelics. Just be smart w them.

[–]drqxx 0 points1 point  (5 children)

3. Alternative path. The entrepreneur.

I took a job as a door to door sales man, selling quill office supplies. It paid commission only. I was 20 years old with no college degree. The lessons I would learn would help me start my own business. The most important lesson being:

Learn how to sell yourself.

This paid huge dividends in my personal life talking to people and later on when I start my company.

At 24 I start my own thing. I was sick and tired of handing my boss a cut of my hard work (from a job) It took 3 years of hard work with no vacations and many weekends but I fucking did it. I used all the lesson I learned from door to door marketing and reading books. (Ex: Rich dad poor dad cash flow quadrant) All this helped me establish an excess of two things. TIME (for my self my family my goals) + $$$.

9. BOOKS...

STOP! right now and go download audible or kindle on your phone. There is so much information you need to acquire. While you're driving to work or working out at the gym; you could be listening to the books he recommended above. I would add my top three books to the list as well:

  • 48 laws of power - Robert Green (Same as Mastery)

  • 33 strategy of war - Robert Green

  • Extreme Ownership - Jocko Wilink

Those are the corner stone of who I am. They put everything is focus. Even though I listened to them initially, I went and bought copies of all three. I highlighted all the part I liked. I'm constantly going back to reference them.

Knowledge is power... therefore Read your fucking ass off!

Great post 9/10

[–]harsheehorshee 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I personally think 48 laws contradicts itself too much and just makes one paranoid. After finishing the book, my main conclusion is that there are crazy mother fuckers out there who believe this book and follow it line a creed

[–]drqxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has reversals for almost all laws. I use it as more of an advisory model. As well as llaging back past power struggles in my head.

[–]JonMan219 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm 26 turning 27 in February. Do I have time?

[–]1ShallITinder[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you do but get to it man!

[–]TelemachusRising 0 points1 point  (1 child)

4 is the top priority. Where I live (small town NE US) --unbelievable scarcity of 7+. I'm stuck because I'm a parent. The suburbs will destroy any game you develop (unless you're in high school) and whatever you do develop will atrophy from lack of motivation/ opportunity. Move to the city.

[–]EequalsMC2Trooper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, just thank you. This advice came right before an fork in the road conversation with my girlfriend. It gave me the confidence in what I want out of life to say no to moving in together and make some big (formerly repressed) demands. I've now got the willingness to walk away into a blissful sunset if she's not willing to meet my standards.

Set a high bar for your standard of life, don't let a women pull on that bar to get hers higher.

[–]Crailberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading posts like these that pop up once in awhile make me feel EXTREMELY lucky. My early twenties were spent being a heroin and cocaine addict. Getting into shit tons of debt, arrested (thank the gods I'm not a felon), being with shitty women, and not working on myself. Was afraid of life in general. I'm now 27 years old, been lifting hard for 2 years, have a degree in a very promising field, and almost debt free. Granted, I live at home, but as soon as that debt is paid off I'm getting the fuck up on outta there and will be having women over ALL the time (I'm a little excited).

FUCK I'm so fucking lucky I whipped my life into shape before my thirties.

[–]F_Dingo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my experience though, MOST of these insecurities stem from a lack of success with women as well as a lack of a social life. A lot of isolation and being a social outcast tends to mess with the minds of most young guys out there.

Hit the nail on the head right there for me, having just a small amount of aspergers totally fucked me. All throughout high school my "social life" consisted of playing games online with internet friends (we have a great time playing games) and a few club activities that were fruitless for me in getting friends my age. Lack of social life also rolled into lack of success/interaction with females, I'm 22 and have zero experience with women what-so-ever whether it be general interaction or flirting (no clue how to flirt). I started lifting two months ago and I feel more confident about myself in general and know what I want to get out of life and what to study. I've got 2-3 more years of college when I transfer to a big state school, hopefully what I've read about here and the improvements from that can get me something.

I'd love for some advice from introverts who went from 0 to 100 or people with aspergers on here who turned it around socially for themselves.

[–]BlueChilli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I had found TRP in my 20s.

31 now, working on getting that STEM degree. It is what it is. Nothing to do but to work harder.

[–]SillyGoosey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who is turning 20 in a week, thank you for this. A lot of it I already knew but reiterating it just keeps adding on.

[–]freethinker34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Doing the things you mentioned in your twenties is ideal, but you can still do them in your thirties and beyond.

Men peak in their mid to late thirties and the male wall is in the mid to late forties. The male wall is also a bit softer than the female wall, as they become biologically infertile but men do not become infertile nor incapable of starting new projects, just worse at it. The sooner you start doing important things to better yourself the better chance you have of being successful, but the mid to late thirties and even early forties are mens prime years in this world.

[–]annuncirith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whatever is wrong with you, now is the time to address it and fix it

Let me second this SO hard. I had problems with my teeth arising from childhood laziness and unprofessional dentists in my backwater hometown and not only will it eat away at your confidence but my surgeon mentioned the younger you are the more quickly you recover. DON'T WAIT to get your teeth fixed if you need it!

[–]BoobToArmRatio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm turning 30 in a year and I want to emphasize some of OP's points about finances. If I had started my career 3 years earlier than I actually did instead of wasting that time playing video games and delivering pizzas, I would have 2-3x my current net worth and be on track to accumulating $1m by age 32.

Growth in net worth is generally exponential, so the earlier you start the better off you'll be. Each year you waste is a year of exponential growth wasted. The 20s is absolutely the best time to set your self up for financial success.

Don't spend your night drunk at the club if you don't have a good shot at bringing a girl home. Don't waste your time getting better at a video game just to beat your friend. While it's okay to have fun, realize that neither of you is going to be playing that game 5 years from now.

Be on the lookout for anything that is a time sink but doesn't improve you. Every person has the same 24 hours every day, yet some people manage to completely waste their hours doing nothing to improve their lives. Value your time as you value your money. Don't waste it on meaningless things and leverage it to get yourself to the position you want to be in.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this post. I'm 24 turning 25 in January and I already feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things that a 24 year old should be doing. I didn't get a good run in college, never joined a frat or had the college sex life I could have had if I had found TRP sooner.

So I'm playing some catchup now. I might go back to school (and move to Seattle) to makeup for lost time. I've got a lot I want to do in my 20s with so little time. My career? Been spinning my wheels and now I'm struggling to find solid ground and follow my dreams.

Hopefully ill get my shit together before I'm 30.

[–]marinewannabee97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am turning 20 next year. I have been on the path of self improvement for the past year. Time is a factor here, the most valuable resource. My current lack of "fun experiences" make me pessimistic for my 20's. At least my degree is almost done, hey silver lining.

[–]schuwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would add 1 thing.

1.) Take risks in financial investments (BUT DONT BE STUPID): I'm in my early 20's and have worked really hard to earn some extra money. As much as it sucks, set away money. Then take a percentage of that savings say 20-30% and invest that in something risky. Make your money work for you. The higher the risks, the better the reward. Do this early because while in your 20's you can still recoup money if you lose some cash.

[–]sweisbrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic article, cheers OP.

[–]Quatr0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a 19y/o this was a great write up! Thank you for your time!

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