Etiquette is rarely discussed, but a few simple things can make a positive difference in your personal confidence and how others perceive you. Everything we do sends a message, so send the right one. I just returned from lunch and saw a guy (obviously on a first date, online match from the sounds of it) making so many mistakes it hurt to watch. I hope to save you all some embarrassment.
- Leave the straw/stirrer on the bar.
You look like a pansy sucking on a straw, drink from the glass. Every time you poke yourself with a stirrer/toothpick/umbrella, you look less suave. Stir your drink when handed to you, leave the crap on the bar, enjoy your drink.
- Avoid bright drinks. No blue hawaiians, pink passionfruit martinis, etc.
Should go without saying. Unless you're on a beach or tiki bar, avoid the bright stuff.
Beer. Bourbon. Vodka. Mojitos. Martinis. Manhattans. Old fashioned. Gin&Tonic. Wine. You have tons of options, but keep it classy.
- Hold your drink in your left hand.
It becomes natural very quickly. No longer do you extend a cold, wet hand for a handshake. No longer do you put a clammy palm on her leg/back/ass/neck/hand. You're always presentable, you're always comfortable, you're never off-putting. (Bonus-no water on your cellphone!)
- Wrap a bar napkin around your drink, if possible/practical.
Prevents those condensation drips from landing on you. Is it sweat? Is it drool? Did someone throw a drink on you? Did you shake some piss off on yourself? Avoid those questions by just having a napkin on your drink.
- Excuse yourself, or walk outside, to make a phone call or text. Leave the phone in your pocket inside. Check it discreetly.
Enjoy the company of those around you, give them your full attention. Be aware of your surroundings. Be courteous to who ever is calling, don't make them decipher your words over the drawl of a full bar. Plus, as a bonus, any potentials you're working might just think they lost their chance when they saw you walk out, and will be more open when you return (or might even follow you, biggest IOI ever). If on a date, it should be a no-brainer to avoid the phone.
- Introduce yourself with your first and last name. Firm shake, make eye contact.
You might be the third "Joe" she met tonight. Separate yourself.
- Run into a friend? Introduced by someone you know? Cheek kiss.
Handshakes are for cold-approach introductions and other men. For everything else, cheek kiss.
- Save religion, politics, racist jokes, etc. for later.
Steer the conversation to a neutral topic if someone else brings it up. Avoid engaging in a debate. You can simply say "I'm here to enjoy myself, not debate ____".
- Don't bang on things. Don't throw stuff.
You've all seen it, kicking a door, or pounding their fist while waiting for a drink or trying to get the bartender's attention. Throwing napkins to get attention. You're not a caveman, knock it off. Anger and lack of self control isn't Alpha.
- Tip well (in cash) on the first drink. Get the bartender's name, give yours, and shake hands if possible. Make friends if you're a regular.
Sends quite the message when you walk up to the bar for round 2 and get instant service, ahead of others already there. Buying a girl a drink is overrated, getting the bartender's attention and directing them to a girl that's been waiting is far more effective, and free.
"She's been waiting for you, help her first", push her towards the bar with your hand on her back. She'll thank you, you get her name, take it from there. As far as openers go, this has the best close rate of anything I've tried (assuming you can pull it off). She KNOWS you got there after her, she KNOWS how long she was waiting, she KNOWS the other guys there were waiting too, she KNOWS you must have high social value to get that treatment.
- Bring your empties to the bar.
It's just the right thing to do, it shows you respect the staff. A man who disrespects others isn't worthy of respect.
- On the same line, don't insult/berate/belittle others. No embarrassing stories, no headlocks, no offhand comments, no complaining.
Bring everyone up. Make them feel important and welcomed. Make them have fun. You'll draw others in. Girls will gravitate towards you.
- Introduce everyone you can.
"Sarah, do you know Steve? No? Steve, this is Sarah." It makes you the CENTER OF THE GROUP. You're the lynch pin, you're holding it together. This shines the Alpha light on you. Everyone wants to be around someone who can bring others together. Bonus: it reinforces everyone's name in your head.
- Dress with quality, not flash. Avoid extremes of fashion.
Doesn't matter what style you go for, do it well. Make sure it fits properly. Make sure it's clean and not wrinkled. Make sure you're comfortable. Peacocking is dead, leave the top hats, feathers, CZ-covered jewelry, etc at home (unless you're a rapper). Avoid the extremes (unless you're a model). No white alligator leather shoes, for instance.
- Use minimal cologne/aftershave. Don't use body spray (Axe).
Rule of thumb is that they should only be able to smell you if they're close enough to touch you. Squirt or two is all it takes. If you're a smoker, you'll never cover up that smell, and you can't exactly smell how potent you are, so just be subtle with it.
- Don't groom or clean in public.
Booger in your nose? Dirt under your nails? Hangnail? Pimple? Go to the bathroom and take care of it.
- Take off your fucking hat.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if you're bald. You're inside, hat off.
- Avoid "inside jokes", unless you're having a 1-on-1 conversation.
Don't exclude others, don't push them away, make sure you're always inclusive. Secrets don't make friends.
- Offer your arm if you're going somewhere.
Walking to the next bar? Going to the diner? Escorting her to the car? Hold out your elbow, let her link up. She loves it. She gets close. She gets to feel up your muscular arms (you have been lifting, right?) She followed your command. You get to lead. Strong Alpha message is sent.
- Don't get sloppy drunk. Stay in control.
No one gets laid if they're falling over or puking.
- Don't challenge the bouncers.
They'll win. You'll look bad. Treat them with respect and they'll return it.