Red Pill TheoryAn Alpha Gentleman's guide to bar etiquette (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by trpthroway123

Etiquette is rarely discussed, but a few simple things can make a positive difference in your personal confidence and how others perceive you. Everything we do sends a message, so send the right one. I just returned from lunch and saw a guy (obviously on a first date, online match from the sounds of it) making so many mistakes it hurt to watch. I hope to save you all some embarrassment.

  • Leave the straw/stirrer on the bar.

You look like a pansy sucking on a straw, drink from the glass. Every time you poke yourself with a stirrer/toothpick/umbrella, you look less suave. Stir your drink when handed to you, leave the crap on the bar, enjoy your drink.

  • Avoid bright drinks. No blue hawaiians, pink passionfruit martinis, etc.

Should go without saying. Unless you're on a beach or tiki bar, avoid the bright stuff.

Beer. Bourbon. Vodka. Mojitos. Martinis. Manhattans. Old fashioned. Gin&Tonic. Wine. You have tons of options, but keep it classy.

  • Hold your drink in your left hand.

It becomes natural very quickly. No longer do you extend a cold, wet hand for a handshake. No longer do you put a clammy palm on her leg/back/ass/neck/hand. You're always presentable, you're always comfortable, you're never off-putting. (Bonus-no water on your cellphone!)

  • Wrap a bar napkin around your drink, if possible/practical.

Prevents those condensation drips from landing on you. Is it sweat? Is it drool? Did someone throw a drink on you? Did you shake some piss off on yourself? Avoid those questions by just having a napkin on your drink.

  • Excuse yourself, or walk outside, to make a phone call or text. Leave the phone in your pocket inside. Check it discreetly.

Enjoy the company of those around you, give them your full attention. Be aware of your surroundings. Be courteous to who ever is calling, don't make them decipher your words over the drawl of a full bar. Plus, as a bonus, any potentials you're working might just think they lost their chance when they saw you walk out, and will be more open when you return (or might even follow you, biggest IOI ever). If on a date, it should be a no-brainer to avoid the phone.

  • Introduce yourself with your first and last name. Firm shake, make eye contact.

You might be the third "Joe" she met tonight. Separate yourself.

  • Run into a friend? Introduced by someone you know? Cheek kiss.

Handshakes are for cold-approach introductions and other men. For everything else, cheek kiss.

  • Save religion, politics, racist jokes, etc. for later.

Steer the conversation to a neutral topic if someone else brings it up. Avoid engaging in a debate. You can simply say "I'm here to enjoy myself, not debate ____".

  • Don't bang on things. Don't throw stuff.

You've all seen it, kicking a door, or pounding their fist while waiting for a drink or trying to get the bartender's attention. Throwing napkins to get attention. You're not a caveman, knock it off. Anger and lack of self control isn't Alpha.

  • Tip well (in cash) on the first drink. Get the bartender's name, give yours, and shake hands if possible. Make friends if you're a regular.

Sends quite the message when you walk up to the bar for round 2 and get instant service, ahead of others already there. Buying a girl a drink is overrated, getting the bartender's attention and directing them to a girl that's been waiting is far more effective, and free.

"She's been waiting for you, help her first", push her towards the bar with your hand on her back. She'll thank you, you get her name, take it from there. As far as openers go, this has the best close rate of anything I've tried (assuming you can pull it off). She KNOWS you got there after her, she KNOWS how long she was waiting, she KNOWS the other guys there were waiting too, she KNOWS you must have high social value to get that treatment.

  • Bring your empties to the bar.

It's just the right thing to do, it shows you respect the staff. A man who disrespects others isn't worthy of respect.

  • On the same line, don't insult/berate/belittle others. No embarrassing stories, no headlocks, no offhand comments, no complaining.

Bring everyone up. Make them feel important and welcomed. Make them have fun. You'll draw others in. Girls will gravitate towards you.

  • Introduce everyone you can.

"Sarah, do you know Steve? No? Steve, this is Sarah." It makes you the CENTER OF THE GROUP. You're the lynch pin, you're holding it together. This shines the Alpha light on you. Everyone wants to be around someone who can bring others together. Bonus: it reinforces everyone's name in your head.

  • Dress with quality, not flash. Avoid extremes of fashion.

Doesn't matter what style you go for, do it well. Make sure it fits properly. Make sure it's clean and not wrinkled. Make sure you're comfortable. Peacocking is dead, leave the top hats, feathers, CZ-covered jewelry, etc at home (unless you're a rapper). Avoid the extremes (unless you're a model). No white alligator leather shoes, for instance.

  • Use minimal cologne/aftershave. Don't use body spray (Axe).

Rule of thumb is that they should only be able to smell you if they're close enough to touch you. Squirt or two is all it takes. If you're a smoker, you'll never cover up that smell, and you can't exactly smell how potent you are, so just be subtle with it.

  • Don't groom or clean in public.

Booger in your nose? Dirt under your nails? Hangnail? Pimple? Go to the bathroom and take care of it.

  • Take off your fucking hat.

Seriously. Doesn't matter if you're bald. You're inside, hat off.

  • Avoid "inside jokes", unless you're having a 1-on-1 conversation.

Don't exclude others, don't push them away, make sure you're always inclusive. Secrets don't make friends.

  • Offer your arm if you're going somewhere.

Walking to the next bar? Going to the diner? Escorting her to the car? Hold out your elbow, let her link up. She loves it. She gets close. She gets to feel up your muscular arms (you have been lifting, right?) She followed your command. You get to lead. Strong Alpha message is sent.

  • Don't get sloppy drunk. Stay in control.

No one gets laid if they're falling over or puking.

  • Don't challenge the bouncers.

They'll win. You'll look bad. Treat them with respect and they'll return it.

[–]JackBrush 132 points133 points  (42 children)

I don't know where OP's from but you're better off hugging a woman you know and shaking or whatever form of thuggery you prefer with your male acquaintances than you are kissing them on the cheek.

[–]1Original_Dankster 41 points42 points  (8 children)

In Montreal it's actually insulting to a woman to NOT do the double (or even triple) cheek kiss.

It's a cultural thing. Expect in any place where there are a noticeable proportion of people who speak the Romantic languages (Portugese, Spanish, Italian, Romanian, French, few other minor ones).

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[–]1Original_Dankster 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Cheers, thanks for the clarification. Yeah, I didn't mean for males greeting another male, but females greeting females, I saw them doing the kiss kiss thing all the time

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[–]marplaneit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We do it in Argentina, and last time I checked we are not full of cucked men like in US.

[–]oathcunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here in Chile, though with only one cheek kiss.

[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'll rmemeber next time i'm down that way thanks man.

[–]Cookiest 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ok, as an Asian we never do the cheek kiss.

But as a transplant to Miami, I learned really quick how to do it. Doing it so often it becomes second nature.

There's this lean-in with your arms arc'd as if ready to pull them into a hug. But now, you also go cheek to cheek and make the kiss sound (your lips never touch anything).

Its not as awkward as it seems from the outside.

[–]torbodork 27 points27 points [recovered]

Yeah, I think in many locales, a cheek kiss would come off as douchey and try-hard, or cringe-worthy.

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[–]Mr_Andry 15 points16 points  (11 children)

Nah. Pay attention to your peers. If nobody is doing cheek kisses, don't do cheek kisses. If everybody is blowing up fist bumps, then blow up your fist bumps. Find better ways to stand out than trying to start a trend in a new area where it might already have negative connotations.

Well... if you are super solid confident and good looking, go ahead and import your intimate greeting of choice. If you pull it off you're a star. Otherwise, blend in before you branch out.

[–]jamesbond0512 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It'a not an actual kiss; It's more of a subtle cheek rub. In the US you will come across a lot of people, all raised different. There will be woman open for the cheek kiss, but it helps to sense the person and how they're going to interact . you'll get a personal connection from all when you address them to their taste. This will keep you on your A game.

For example: You walk into a a house with 5 people you've never met. Two girl, one who thinks she's the light of the room and her friend, the one open to interaction. You give the light of the room a hand shake and the nice one a kiss on the cheek. It could be that the light of the room flicks the light a bit because she wasn't treated like her friend. There you have started a semi competition between the two. assuming you're on your A game and life is going good.

[–]Koritora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thought the same thing. This reeks of east coast. Intelligent men will understand the west coast equiv.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 18 points19 points  (8 children)

I'm in New York.

Everyone I know does cheek kisses. From great grandmas to babies. My friend's girlfriends, their moms, business associates, college friends I haven't seen in years, everyone gets a kiss on the cheek.

It's very common, at least here.

I guess it's worth mentioning, I'm not ugly or creepy. I've seen them deny ugly/creepy guys who try.

[–]moresmarterthanyou 36 points37 points  (3 children)

LA checking in. never done a cheek kiss in 10 years

[–]Mr_Andry 25 points26 points  (2 children)

West coast don't do cheek kisses unless you're a middle aged woman or in showbiz.

[–]Semper_I 7 points8 points  (1 child)

We do the pornstar elbow shake here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We also specialize in the Funhaus secret handshake here in LA.

[–]Vryk0lakas 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is common here in hawaii as well.

[–]Sip_py 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's more of a comfortability thing. You're comfortable enough with yourself that you're going to do it whomever. I do it all the time, I know not everyone is "cool with it" (whatever that means), but fuck them I'm living my life. Feeling uncomfortable is their problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From NY as well, I think it depends on your demographic.

  • Firm handshake and eye contact for a male adult
  • "Dab" for a male around your age (an altered version of a handshake every young person knows nowadays)
  • Hug for girls my age and some women
  • Two kisses on the cheek for all my italian peasana's

[–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you're in a major city (NYC, LA etc) it's the cheek kiss--don't have much experience with the middle but I imagine once you get out to Nebraska etc, maybe it's more about the handshake intro.

[–]TNNRR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As the responses indicate. Its totally cultural. I'll add my experience to the growing list of people sharing theirs. In the USA, for me, hell no. That shit is almost as creepy as kissing the back of her hand like a damn knight.

But when I was in Spain, it was expected. I can't remember if I did the cheek kiss with the guys... I think sometimes I did and sometimes they offered their hand for a handshake. With the women I almost always did the cheek kiss. Also on that note - I think anyone can verify that women in southern spain and andalusia are some of the most beautiful and best dressed women in the world. I was impressed, at least.

Unfortunately (or Fortunately?) I was there on a trip with my LTR.

[–]Sweetmoeseph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Op mentioned that cheek kisses weren't for men. Shaking was.

[–]DontBeFredo 168 points169 points  (49 children)

Sorry, but some of this stuff is so try hard and derived from how movie alphas, aka fictional characters that could never be applied to the real world, act in scene.

  1. Buddies with owners of 3 of the top bars in Boston. There is absolutely no difference between tipping in cash and tipping with card in 2016. In fact, it's often easier for bartenders and owners to divvy up extra compensation at the end of a shift or week if the tips are written on a credit card receipt. Bartenders also have to enter the amount in the computer right after you sign the receipt, so they know how much you're tipping. This is straight from the bartender's mouth. Maybe 5 years ago you'd look like a traditional, big shot gentleman by tipping cash. But not any more.

  2. The kiss on the cheek is also a HUGE turn off to at least 50% of the crowd. I'm not saying it's not a traditionally classy thing to do. But I've seen my foreign coworkers do it to everyone from beautiful women to fortune 500 CEOs. 50% of the time it's accepted, 50% of the time you come off as the biggest try hard in the world. A simple one armed hug where you look the lady in the eye and smile enthusiastically is more than perfect for a female friend, and a firm handshake with a strong grip on the shoulder is more than perfect for a male.

  3. Regarding the bright drinks. Order whatever the fuck you want. I'm not drinking and paying 400% markup (standard markup at Boston and NYC bars) so I can look cool. I am paying for drinks that I like. If you just so happen to like fruity colors, so be it. If you're good looking and confident, you can be drinking a Shirley Temple. Ask any bartender how many guys go up to them and ask for an old fashioned to look cool and sophisticated, then struggle to put it down because they aren't used to whiskey.

  4. Regarding the straw - sure, I drink my drinks without a straw in them, but that's because I enjoy the smell. Not because I want to look Don Draper and Ryan Gosling cool.

Edit: Adding on to my brightly colored drinks remark, a lot of guys will respect you 100x more if you're aware that the fruity drink you ordered is fruity, but don't care because you enjoy it, rather than paying a premium for Hibiki 12 simply for the hell of it. A lot of stuff here is valid, but a lot of this stuff sounds like it comes from a group of 2nd year investment bankers who think they're rolling in with the characters from the Wolf of Wall Street.

[–]ny03 26 points27 points  (14 children)

Tipping in cash is so the bartender or server does not have to report it as taxable income. All credit card tips are immediately taxable income, cash is not traceable and the server gives estimates at the end of the night. When you are making below minimum wage as a most tipped employees are it can be a huge bonus if you do not have to report all your income.

Source: was a server and worked in the restaurant business for 7 years in Major cities including Boston & LA, still have plenty of friends that do.

Moral of this is tip in cash whenever possible it will make your server happy.

[–]sourdieselfuel 50 points51 points  (9 children)

Just a small point:

  1. I think the point of tipping cash after your first drink is to establish a rapport with the bartender that you tip well and to make your drinks a priority. Then using that to leverage your priority with a waiting female.

[–]enfier 29 points29 points [recovered]

Helping the girl get a drink seems pretty pointless to me. Better to walk past her, get your drink, and give her a look as you go back. It's rage inducing and honestly any emotional response is a win.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

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[–]trpthroway123[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

She says "thanks", you say "I accept tips, phone numbers preferred".

It's an easy opener. It's a low-effort close. You can play it however you prefer. You're still getting your drink before the rest of the crowd anyway.

[–]TNNRR 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It sounds like a pretty good test. There's three ways it could go.

  1. She doesn't say thanks. Well, fuck that. On to the next one.

  2. She thanks you, then goes back to her friends and doesn't invite you or flirt with you. That's a good thing. You just got a free indicator of (non)interest.

  3. She thanks you and engages you. Now you can run game. Best possible outcome.

Low cost, low effort opener and gauge of interest. Just don't go around doing it to every fucking girl in the bar lol.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just don't go around doing it to every fucking girl in the bar lol

The opportunity will only present itself a handful of times per night. If you're lucky, and the bartender likes you, maybe 3 or 4 times.

Still, low cost/low effort/high success compared to a lot of others I've tried.

[–]a_nus 15 points16 points  (8 children)

Yup. Reading through the post I actually got a neckbeard trying too hard vibe from OP.

[–]HeadingRed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got the same vibe and started reading the comments. I'm not dumping on all of it- it just feels like a fictional accountio of a James Bond knockoff.

The bar he describes seems like a high-end venue in a very large city. There are different rules for different places. The "Don't be a dick" is all well and good and you have clueless assholes in every place you go.

I still feel The Fedora Is Strong With This One

OP- don't bitch out and stop writing because you got some shit for your post.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be sure not to groom it in public! It would be un-gentlmen to tend to the neckbeard at the bar.

[–]Moldy_Gecko 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Regarding the bright drinks. Order whatever the fuck you want. I'm not drinking and paying 400% markup (standard markup at Boston and NYC bars) so I can look cool. I am paying for drinks that I like. If you just so happen to like fruity colors, so be it. If you're good looking and confident, you can be drinking a Shirley Temple. Ask any bartender how many guys go up to them and ask for an old fashioned to look cool and sophisticated, then struggle to put it down because they aren't used to whiskey.

I just wanted to point out on here you can learn to enjoy whiskey on the rocks. It's my normal drink if beer isn't available. Much better to learn sophistication where it's regular in your life than to fake it. So your point is valid, but I'd still suggest learning how to drink whiskey as a man.

[–]ObservantOmega 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This sums up pretty much my problems with the OP's post. Two points that stick out beyond that:

-Bringing empties to the bar

A big no go if the bar is crowded and you have to shoulder past people disturbing them, or a hookah bar where you lounge around. Also if you just bring empty glasses with no order you'll be making an ass of yourself.

-Drinking bright drinks

Drink what you like, but try to learn it before you go out. Take your time to have a cocktail tasting spree to make a top five list. Learn something about them, like preferred ingredients or a funny fact or two. They can offer you some really cheap openings or mark you as a guy who knows his liquor.
Also, no one respects the guy who's slamming vodka shots.

[–]Marr0w1 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Good points (except hibiki 12 is legitimately one of the best whiskies at that price point)

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[–]DontBeFredo 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Hibiki 12 is my favorite whiskey...I don't order it out so much because it's 18 - 23 bucks for 1.5 ounces in Boston and NYC, with the exception of Benihanas lol (13 for it on the rocks). It's so good. But I'd rather see someone get a vodka cranberry because they genuinely enjoy it for 9 dollars, rather than drop 20 bones on a drink they dislike and/or know nothing about.

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[–]morebaked 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's why working in Japan is a plus. Buy that stuff cheap

[–]Moldy_Gecko 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, I was about to say. I live in Japan and Often get Yamazaki. Cheap as fuck here. Then again, I don't know stateside prices.

[–]massivewang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes at a party or festival here in Brazil I'm only left with a fruity drink because I don't like the other options. All my boys give me shit and call me gay, I just agree and amplify (joke in a gay voice, make effeminate gestures, drink with my pinky out etc) and we get a bunch of laughs out of it. IDGAF, I'm there to hang and have a good time.

There isn't no Brazilian woman who has turned down my approach because I'm drinking a Pineapple caipirinha instead of a beer.

Like he said, drink whatever the fuck you want. Just don't be apologetic about it. I agree and amplify when peop

[–]frozenalaskent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regarding tipping you guys are also missing the point of cash. It doesn't get claimed. I mean you're supposed to. But most don't. Credit card tips are automatically claimed. When I tended bar in college cash was king.

[–]TNNRR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think with the point regarding tipping, at least tipping well in cash is better than not tipping at all. And cash doesn't hurt. In some places its not counted as income so its not taxed.

With regard to the kiss on the cheek. Its totally cultural. Not everyone on this sub is in the US. In some places it is rude not to do this. Use your head and follow the social cues of your environment.

The bright drinks: A big part of TRP is game. Game is nothing if not being able to influence and control how other people perceive you. Body Language, clothing attire, physical fitness, and yes - drink and food orders. Order what you want. Hell, wear whatever you want. But don't expect that you can do "whatever the fuck you want" without people reacting to your decisions. The bright drinks is a minor thing, but its important. Most of the time it doesn't matter. But it is something worth considering. I'm a whiskey, scotch, brandy, and beer guy myself. If you drink a fruity drink but everything else about you seems fine - most people (myself included) don't give a shit. Most people are only thinking about themselves anyway. Another big part of TRP is just being yourself and bucking societies rules. So if you want a bright blue drink in a flamingo glass, fuck it. Order it. Its 50/50 on this one.

The straw - I just find that shit inconvenient. I don't drink anything with a straw. Its always shifting around. Fuck that noise.

[–]taracus 43 points44 points  (7 children)

Quality post

Hold your drink in your left hand.

I honestly never ever even considered this. It's gold advice, it's hard to come back from a wet cold first handshake.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

More importantly, being the only person in the group to extend a warm and dry handshake sets you apart in a positive way.

Also avoids the awkward "switch hands and wipe it on my pants" move when you meet someone. No one looks good doing that.

[–]TNNRR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never realized how bad I was about doing that until I read this. I feel like an idiot... "Left hand!? That just might work!"

Doing it from now on.

[–]Hexthorne 7 points8 points  (2 children)

This is an old fraternity trick, where you're supposed to be tossed constantly into new places meeting interesting people.

A fraternity I got to be very friendly with had a rule - if ever your drink was in the right hand anyone could call you out on it by yelling "BULL MOOSE", and you would then be obligated to down whatever was left in the cup regardless of what it was.

Sometimes it was water, sometimes it was soda, sometimes it was straight vodka. Didn't matter. At this point keeping my drink in the left hand is second nature.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most of this advice was learned in fraternity life.

Part of our mission was to "appear well in any company".

[–]aRedThought 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha. Fun times. Got bullmoosed too many times to ever have a drink in my right hand for the rest of my life.

[–]buli145 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it's a good piece of advice. I also never even considered this!

And it sucks because usually when I have a cold or wet hand to avoid giving a really bad handshake I try to dry it in my clothes and the outcome is that I get them dirty too.

[–]Moldy_Gecko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually thinking on this one, I think I learned it subconsciously already. I almost exclusively hold it in my left hand.

[–]Horus_Krishna_2 43 points44 points  (16 children)

do people really do cheek kisses

[–]TemplesOfSyrinx 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Yes, but I think there's regional etiquette. Some places are more acceptable than others.

[–]alreadygoneKKbye 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Would not get away with that in the South. Tip for all.

[–]Firespit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a french thing. So also Canada, north africa, and other colonies.

[–]turboRock 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Yeah, it's pretty much the go-to greeting with Spanish girls.

[–]Stoicas 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Different cultures have different comfort zones.
You will notice that people in south america and mediterranean area tend to keep closer distance than people in middle east.
The same goes for greetings, a lot of physical contact will be more common in the places where people are more open.

[–]woahyoungster345654 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think the middle east is more on the "touchy" side, did you see how arab guys greet each other ? they shake hands then kiss each other on the cheek ( no homo ) and they keep pretty small personal space, also here in the netherlands people kiss each other on the cheek if you're close friends ( not between guys though).

[–]Stoicas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might be right, but I think they would behave differently around strangers.
btw. it was an example from a book on body language I've read recently.

[–]Wheyman92 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Here in Miami, yes. Not to other men though, that's fruity as fuck.

However, if it were a female in a work environment or something along those lines you would be retarded to do anything but shake her hand. If you're meeting with that same business associate for lunch or a dinner with both of your partners, the kiss on the cheek would absolutely be the right thing to do. It's also not lips to cheek, it's cheek to cheek with a kissing sound.

[–]Horus_Krishna_2 0 points1 point  (2 children)

ok I'd like to do cheek kisses but have literally never seen it in the wild, only in movies, and am worried I'd get met with a slap to the face, then again that is me being beta again.

[–]Keanu_reeds 1 points1 points [recovered]

No it would totally be cringe worthy of its not part of your culture.

[–]Horus_Krishna_2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

part of my problem is understanding "taboos" and "mores" things that come naturally to others. Forget a kiss to the cheek I need to get a kiss on the lips right too, I know that's culturally acceptable.

[–]Ausecurity 40 points41 points  (24 children)

Also don't challenge the bouncers. Too many people try to challenge me and they always fail. I will make it a point to make you look like an ass as I carry you away.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good point, I'll add that on.

[–]bornredd 4 points5 points  (18 children)

Alright, here's a question for you. Let's say I get asked to move by a bouncer (blocking a fire exit or whatever).

You can't really touch a bouncer without provoking a response, so a pat on the back as acceptance of his request is right out. What's a good way to comply without looking like a bitch or provoking him?

[–]lurkythelurkingbean 62 points62 points [recovered]

"You got it." Walk away from fire exit.

What makes you look like a bitch is whatever insecurity you have that apparently leads you to think this interaction makes you look like a bitch. Can you really imagine someone seeing this scene and thinking "wow what a pushover, that guy didn't even start a fight over blocking that exit"

[–]bornredd 13 points14 points  (11 children)

Cool, just checking myself, appreciate the feedback.

[–]lurkythelurkingbean 17 points17 points [recovered]

No need to over think things. The bouncer's there to do his job and make sure people stay safe. I can see where you're coming from in that this automatically puts you in a submissive position to him, but that's not something you can change, as it's inherent to the social roles in this situation.

[–]Donuteater780 5 points6 points  (9 children)

A lot of places choose large bouncers for the intimidation factor. Doing what the guy says isn't going to lose you points with anyone.

[–]1Starswarm 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Bouncers appreciate polite people and will remember the customers that are difficult and attention seeking. It's really not hard to become friendly with a bouncer. Just be a good customer and considerate towards others, build a rapport, introduce yourself, offer to get them a water, etc.

Bouncers really like not having to do anything. If you behave in a way so that they can forget you exist the second you come in, they will be happy to see you come to the door because they will know you are a quality easy going patron.

In the event of an incident, the bouncers will take your side, or at the very least be willing to talk to you first and hear your story before any decisions are made.

[–]refusewool 7 points8 points  (6 children)

They want to do their job, not make new friends. Offering to get them water will not only make you look like a bitch but suggest that you have nothing better to do.

[–]Moldy_Gecko 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I disagree with this. I've been a bouncer at a dance club and a strip club for the past 3 years. While I usually refuse drinks while working, I appreciate a cigarette or food usually. This won't mean we're bffs, but if you're a regular, I'll get to know ya and probably hook you up.

[–]refusewool 0 points1 point  (3 children)

What do you mean by 'hook you up'?

[–]Moldy_Gecko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And depending on the club, policies and leniency, you might even get the hook up. If you get to know me well at the club and go drink with me after (depending what club I'm at), best believe I'll show you the spots, hook you up and give you social proof. Piss me off and I'll make sure you're out of the club at the first sight of a problem.

[–]2soccerbum312 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah if a guy pats me on the back or gives me the head nod I take it as a sign of mutual respect

[–]evanston4393 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can't really touch a bouncer without provoking a response

This must be somewhat regional. Any time a bouncer asks me to do something I just say "okay no problem" and either stick my hand out for a handshake (reciprocated 99% of the time), or just a pat on the arm. I've never once had a bouncer get angry with me for doing either of those things. Some even say thank you for acknowledging them and not just walking away without saying anything.

[–]Ausecurity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nodding works, a nice "sure np", no one thinks someone's a bitch for listening to an authority figure and the whole encounter is over in 10 seconds

[–]Moldy_Gecko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now worries man. Gotcha. Ok. Thanks. Pretty much any verbal confirmatory response.

[–]2soccerbum312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I've had to deal with guys that had a girl on their arm and after their slew of insults or belligerent behavior towards me surprise, surprise the girls disappears

[–]Trumpanoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct. Bouncers always win. Whether you in the right or wrong there is no point arguing or challenging anything they say. This applies x2 if your drunk or under the influence. You sound like an idiot arguing in that condition.

[–]traversecity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You got it" is always the right answer, walk away.

I've said no to a bouncer only once, ever. The bounce team was moving to eject a friend who was accousted by an asshat. Rules are rules, all involved get tossed, it does not matter who instigated. We were there with 5 or 6 friends. I stepped in, ramped up my "in charge" presence, and quickly explained in a clear, sober, direct manner. My friend stayed in the bar, the other guy got tossed.

Being RP includes de-escalating situations like this.

(And I really didn't want to see the bouncer get hurt, my friend was a hockey player who really loves to fight a bit too much... and he was still sober, so it may have gotten bloody very quickly. But remember this, if you've had a drink or two, you'll never match the bouncer!)

[–]triggerboy69 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Also remember to bring the nicest fedora you have! Stay classy~

[–]thelaptopliquidator 59 points60 points  (10 children)

"Avoid bright drinks. No blue hawaiians, pink passionfruit martinis, etc."

How insecure do you have to be to base what you drink on what people will think of you?

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

The entire concept of this sub is that superficial things matter and you communicate more with body language and societal cues than you do with just words. Understanding that your actions affect how people think about you is not insecurity. Obviously drink whatever you you want and own it, but don't wear a fucking fedora with a feather in it because you "don't care what people think of you" and expect to get good first impressions from people.

[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah this post is a nice read but from my experience nightlife is too fast paced for most of this to matter.

If you're at a bar get some liquor in the system , enjoy the music. Talk to whomever with aggression because its a feeding ground in there.

[–]Wheyman92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was 18 and started college I looked up what was a masculine drink to order. Whiskey neat, or two ice cubes max, was the number 1 thing on the list. So I decided to start slamming whiskey (cheap ones, too, lol) and proceded to blackout at almost every thing i went to for my first two years.

Since then I've developed an affinity for higher end blends and single malts. Now, however, i prefer to order and old fashion or a gin martini. Insecurities play a part in your life, thats fine, but they should be in the past by now.

[–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somebody get this guy an appletini. Easy on the tini.

[–]cmdrNacho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

agree, i love them and plus use them as a conversation starter. I do normally drink straight bourbon though

[–]differentdirection 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bartender checking in.great post.few things Ito keep in mind;drinking from a straw it's not beta or alpha.its a preference(sometimes at a busy bar glasses are not wash properly.kissing in the cheek it's cultural or traditional(bro hug is fine or handshake)..leave your tab open and be clear that in the end you're paying cash or credit(don't worry you won't get overcharged,.opening and closing your card everytime you get a drink it's a pain and you'll get no respect from a bartender..Allways when you buy girl a shot offer the bartender one(he won't charge for it and you'll look like a gentleman that you're there to have fun ..and last but not least don't ever ask for prices( few dollars more or less it's not gonna kill you.get what you like not what is cheap

[–]TedTheAtheist 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I wish I could use any of this good advice, but alas, I cannot. Good stuff, though.

  • non-alcoholic-drinking introvert.

[–]flat6turbo 7 points8 points  (1 child)

you don't have to drink alcohol at a bar. a lot of people at any bar on any given night aren't drinking, for various reasons. some are sipping water, some drink juice, others are getting jacked on straight redbulls or iced coffee or whatever. bars have a lot of stuff that isn't alcoholic.

it's a faux pas in the real adult world to pressure someone to drink, or ask any questions about it.

[–]TedTheAtheist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll try it.. I guess they don't smoke in there anymore, so it might be tolerable.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many times I'm out, I'm not actually drinking.

Virgin drinks are your friend. A virgin mojito still tastes great and no one will know the difference.

[–]easyroscoe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I work in a bar, and the first half of this post should be sent out to everyone the week before their 21st birthday.

[–]bornredd 8 points9 points  (5 children)

This post is excellent for those of you with no bar game.

The only nitpick (and it really is a nitpick) is "no peacocking". Subtle peacocking is 100% acceptable and fantastic. If you can develop a sense of style, simple things that show quality and difference are peacocking. Proper bracelets, pocket squares, watches, simple but interesting jewelry, etc can really set you apart. I personally use my long beard and piercings - when dressed nicely, it says, "This guy is established and in charge, but is clearly different and can get away with it."

[–]trpthroway123[S] 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I'm talking about Mystery style peacocking. Over the top stuff. Eyeliner and fuzzy hats with 30 bracelets and painted nails. Super flashy jewelry.

I'm sure you'd agree, that's dead in today's game. Still, I see it happen here and there.

Setting yourself apart with some style, some accessories, some quality stuff, is always a good idea. Conor McGregor is a good example of "modern peacocking" if you ask me.

Sounds like you already have that box checked off.

[–]bornredd 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes yes yes!

Conor is a prime example. Good show!

[–]Irishminer93 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When you mentioned "Mystery style peacocking" I thought "it can't be that bad can it?" I was wrong. That's horrible. This coming from a magician who constantly wears ridiculous outfits for performance reasons (Today was just casual wear though, hot as hell recently).

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

haha Mystery looks like he just finished his shift at Circue Du Soleil.

Conor looks like a fuckin boss though, great example.

[–]MAWL_SC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this depends more on your crowd and what the scene is. Even then, some people are just eccentric like that. Some even say it's good to stand out and be different, that it displays SMV.

[–]bigmfkr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One important thing: don't ever handshake women outside of corporate and formal events, where you have to do it for the sake of your business reputation. Handshakes between men and women have been forced in corporate and formal environments to show how equal everyone is.

Guess what, you're in a bar, and the last thing you want is to demonstrate that she's your equal. If she extends her arm for the handshake, ignore it and either (a) go for a hug, (b) look her in the eyes, cause mild discomfort and show her how silly she is behaving.

[–]drallcom3 15 points15 points [recovered]

I've had the pleasure to go to bars with several real alphas over the last months and by your rules they'd have disqualified themselves hard. Sure, your rules are all valid, but they won't get you any more laid.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

These are guidelines, not rules. Nothing here disqualifies you, I never even implied that.

Don't mistake success for perfection. Just because you got laid, doesn't mean you didn't miss other opportunities, doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement.

I'm sure there's a girl that will go home with your real alpha friend after he pounds on the bar, throws napkins, cracks racist jokes, talks about how much he hates Bernie, and bathed in Axe body spray.

Can you accept that maybe the HB9 was turned off by that, so he went home with a HB7 instead? Can you accept he may have gotten an extra number or two if he handled the situation differently?

[–]NexusReflexX 4 points5 points  (5 children)

what are some things you learned from your friends?

[–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Being rich and successful makes not giving a fuck a lot easier. Casually bragging about your wealth and women is like magic (damn they do that a lot). Talking in general is the key. Being a good talker is the most important thing, even or especially when you're not a self-made millionaire. Taking women out to expensive places works if you treat it like an everyday thing. Connections, connections, connections.

Keep in mind that they don't look like supermodels. The guy I go out most often with even got a small belly over the years and smells weird. Cloths and grooming are much more important, but I'm not talking suits and perfection. More like true style.

[–]DannyDemotta 1 point2 points  (1 child)

be rich and successful

don't be poor and unsuccessful

Yeah this is much easier than following OPs advice. I'll do this instead, thanks!

[–]TNNRR 0 points1 point  (1 child)


This makes me nervous though. Yeah, they might throw the pussy at you at first. But I think in the end they'd beta bucks you once they get over the appeal of the nice places and money you have to buy shit.

I don't think you should ever use your income to qualify yourself to a woman. It opens a really dangerous door.

Although, if you're really rich and successful enough they'll know there's probably a line of chicks waiting to pounce, so they may be more prone to mate-guard.

[–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't rely on it. It just helps massively and once you have that status you don't even have to spend that much anymore. Also spending money on fun, expensive activities for yourself and your friends to brag about works almost as well.

[–]RedPillFreedom 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Tips for the non alcoholic drinker.

[–]nothere_ 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Order non alcoholic drinks

[–]IDefyAxioms 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tip well, don't be an ass. Don't expect to be the priority customer (remember the price difference in what you're ordering).

[–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always get water with a splash of coke to add some color

[–]mattizie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Order water on the rocks.

But yeah nah, just get a fuckload of ice and pour in some water, most people will the think it's a spirit of sorts.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Virgin cocktails"

Bartenders all know what it means. They'll make you whatever drink you want and just leave out the alcohol.

Virgin Mojito is my go-to (I love the taste), or, just a club with lime.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sprite with lime looks enough like a gin and tonic, that's my go-to. Or Diet Coke with lime if you prefer, looks like a whiskey/Coke.

[–]Johndoesmith67 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my fraternity when you are found at a bar or party with your drink in your right hand a calling out can occur and you are forced to kneel in front of everyone and down whatever is in your hand. This is to teach you to left hand your drink so your right is always available if you need to introduce yourself.

[–]GalacticLinx 1 point2 points  (4 children)


It seems very useful. But some of those advices dont apply in my country (i mean, the hand shakes, the cheek kisses ONLY for females, etc).

I have a question about Offer your arm if you're going somewhere....

Could you show me a image of the correct way of offering my arm?

should i give my arm to the female and keep my hand in a poket?

I really dont know how this works, usualy when i give my arm to a female, she looks for it, i did never offer it. But i would like to start doing it.

[–]enfier 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You keep your hands out of your pockets. I usually step outside, turn around and ask if she's ready which is generally the cue for her to grab on once she's sorted her coat/purse situation. I really think it's more about the timing than any signal. If she doesn't take your arm then just walk with her it's not a big deal.

[–]TNNRR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But how are you going to fondle your genitals with your hand out of your pocket???

[–]Battle-Scars 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Walk slightly in front of her close and to the side, doesn't matter which side. Line up your right shoulder with her left shoulder or vice versa, look straight forward and place your hand on your stomach just above your belly button. When she notices, she will take a step forward and take your arm, if she doesn't notice right away keep your arm there and slow down, she will walk right into it. Once she interlocks, grab her bicep and give her a firm pull into your body and give her a kiss on her head just above the ear. Timing is everything.

[–]Sip_py 1 point2 points  (4 children)

This is very reminiscent of GS elevator guide to bar etiquette.


Some highlights:

Shots generally only serve one purpose, to speed up the effects of alcohol.There's a time and a place. And that time and place comes around less frequently after the age of 30.

Don't get drunk on beer when you're trying to pick up girls. (Too many trips to the bathroom.)

Don't whistle, snap, yell, or wave money. Unless you want people to think you work at Morgan Stanley.

Always know what you are going to order ahead of time.Have a go-to drink in your repertoire. An old fashioned, vodka martini, a common beer, or even just a house chard. Sit down, take a sip, relax, and then figure out what you really want to drink.

[–]Mr_Andry 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Nothing wrong with a little wave to the bartender to get their attention. Or yelling if the music is loud. Must be context specific.

[–]evanston4393 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I've had the most success with subtly holding a $5/10 in my hand and resting it on the bar. Bartenders pay attention to that and will come to you before a lot of other people. Not to mention its a lot less ostentatious than waving it around in the air.

[–]Sip_py 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The most effective way is to look them directly in the eyes and tip well. If you tipped well on the first drink, the next time you look at them, they'll know what you want and you can just gesture for another, if you need others drinks or extras, you just inform the bartender when they bring the initial drink.

[–]evanston4393 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, agreed 100%. My point was aimed at how to get their attention that first time. Also, and this may be regional, but most bartenders around here seem to avoid making eye contact with anyone other than who they are serving to somewhat avoid what you describe, but a nice tip (like you said) gets around that.

[–]J_AsapGem 1 point2 points  (1 child)

offering your arm or your hands work, but briefly if you're in a social setting and just met, like in a club you would take their hand and lead them to the bar or outside.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a bar, I lead by the hand, only real way through a crowd.

Outside, linked arms, it keeps them very close. Far less awkward (especially when drunk) than an arm around the waist.

[–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

excellent post. it amazes me that in the states nobody introduces anybody and nobody will introduce themselves to a group either. when I approach a group of people that one or more of my friends are in, I always introduce myself to everyone I don't know. it's common sense. I see others in the same situation and they just come up and only interact with the people they know in the group. shows right away that you're either a dick or have no self confidence. also, introducing your friends to others is common sense too. I don't get america sometimes.

[–]SomeShadeOfRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logged on just to say this: do NOT overuse the bartenders name. Don't continuously say "excuse me" or "can I get service" and certainly do not make your displeasure known verbally.

I currently bar back/cook at a busy downtown bar and they will either own your ass with a witty remark (they have authority/social status as a bartender) or will treat you like a child. It is a lose lose if you confront them on their service or how long you've been waiting.

I used to be a pretty blue bitch when it came to social settings, but I always got quick service in the bars by simply raising my hand/money/card silently with my elbow on the bar and waiting. Afterwards, thank them, tip them, and if you plan on returning then tell them "my name is X, I'll be back in X min. for another X" and then hand them your generous tip.

[–]LukesLikeIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Act however you want to act. The main thing is being confident in your action, it's not a matter of trying to hard or not enough. It's about ignoring other peoples judgement. If you can convey that to a women she will respond from my own experience.

[–]wartorle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well written and informative, but I disagree with the bright coloured drinks.

A man can drink whatever he pleases.

[–]wartorle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember a girl once came and asked me why il drinking a female drink. I escalated verbally and pyshical very hard. Worked well in the end

[–]Thewelshpill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

in the uk we tip our top hats to each other

[–]Expectations1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed with everything except the introducing yourself by first and last name.

[–]whuttupfoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some of this stuff is really OCD. No one cares about half the shit on here lol. Especially the bit with the straw.

[–]Diogenes56 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

This is a useful, concise post.

Fancy bars weed out mouth-breathing Jabronies. This is clearly lost on those criticizing OP.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hit it on the nose brother. Upscale bars are my type of spot, rooftops and waterfronts.

At the local hole-in-the-wall, most of this doesn't apply.

[–]tumbeler 1 points1 points [recovered]

I've had to deal with guys that had a girl that will go home with a dress code, the hat shouldn't come.

[–]DjQuackAttax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheek kiss is cheese wiz. Unless you're like descended from the Alpha heavens I wouldn't recommend pulling this one. Like maybe in New York or LA they do this but if you pull this in Alabama you will probably never meet anyone.

[–]alreadygoneKKbye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is an awkward but confident stride into this sub as a woman who somewhat feels at home with this thread. These are not shit facts being thrown out. THIS is how you survive in the real world.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great post man, More guides like this need to be done

On the same line, don't insult/berate/belittle others. No embarrassing stories, no headlocks, no offhand comments, no complaining.

people like this are the worst and i hate them. I try up EVERYONE or if i can't i don't say anything badly about them

[–]FleshPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10 year bartender here- know what to order and how to order it. Know several standard shots/drinks and a few unique ones to change it up. Order the lady a drink that she will like and explain to her what is in it and how it is made. Beer/wine/liquor knowledge will make you a real standout compared to the guy that orders a bud light and shots of well tequila.

[–]hamstercide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Avoid bright drinks. No blue hawaiians, pink passionfruit martinis, etc.

But they look so cool! And they glow in the dark.

[–]mack_and_the_boys 0 points1 point  (1 child)

'Wrap a bar napkin around your drink, if possible/practical.'

Haha. The person doing this would give off massive weirdo vibes if I saw them doing this.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bar napkins are the tiny square ones. You wrap it around the bottom, it's almost entirely hidden by your hand.

I frequent a lot of cocktail hours/mixers/business/charity events, it's a very common thing to see.

[–]DoesNotMatterAnymore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Handshakes are for cold-approach introductions and other men. For everything else, cheek kiss.

Cheek kiss can be a cultural thing. For example: it's completly normal in my country, someone introduces someone to you:

Friendly situation:

  • handshake with man
  • kiss on the cheek if a woman


  • hand shake with both gender.

We don't hug randoms, only close friends / family members, but that's rare also in my family.

So back to cultural topic, i was traveling around Europe, and i was parting away from a couple that i befriended. Handshake with the guy, but the girl hugged me (which was weird), and in return, i gave a kiss on her cheek. Which weirded her out.

[–]SchoolboyP 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Talk about over thinking. Are you a neckbeard?

[–]trpthroway123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all. Grown up frat boy. It's not all paddles and beer bongs, we learn some social tips as well.

Again, I'm not writing this to apply to a dive bar in Alabama. Come to a charity event in NYC, show up to an exclusive club in LA, and these tips are far more applicable.

[–]marinewannabee97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bouncers will win? Not when I'm the one who gives them lifting advice. In all seriousness pretty decent post. I think I had been making a few of these mistakes.

[–]Freiling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excuse yourself, or walk outside, to make a phone call or text. Leave the phone in your pocket inside. Check it discreetly.

This most of all. Phone usage is my number one giveaway for an insecure or uncomfortable person.

[–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My favorite thing in college was showing up to the classiest bar in town in sweatpants and not giving a fuck about it. Never went home alone.

[–]epixs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Become friends with the bouncers if you go there a lot. As a bouncer, all the regulars that were cool with us and knew us always got preferential treatment.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf. How "alpha" (but how I hate that word). Who cares man enjoy your drink and straws. I know I do. I'm here for two goals at the bar and one is to enjoy my drink.

[–]Lsegundo 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Careful with this one "Tip well (in cash) on the first drink." usually it works great. I knew my bartenders well and could order drinks from 3-4 rows back at the club then cut the line to pick them up and pay.

Moved to a new city years ago and wanted to get hammered at the club. (Don't get sloppy drunk is a great rule I used to break several times a month)

Gave a big tip ($15 or $20) to the bartender on the first round. Didn't get any special that night. I guess she thought I was dumping money on her because she had her tits hanging out :(

[–]yummyluckycharms 0 points1 point  (1 child)

In general, tipping the bartender well is quite dated and should be ignored. Think about it....

  • busy bar - the bartender will neither remember you nor will they care due to the volume of paying customers

  • empty bar - you'll be served quickly anyways because there isnt anyone else there.

Lastly, women dont care if you help them get served first - many of them expect white knight behaviour from males. In fact, often doing the opposite - black knight behaviour (aka asshole) is what sets you apart and attractive

[–]Lsegundo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly this had nothing to do with getting drinks for women fast. It was about me getting drinks fast and planning to get smashed.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Upvote_To_The_Left 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does any of this help get you laid?

[–]Moldy_Gecko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious. Why no hat? I have a really good looking face but my hair is already fucking me. I look great with a hat, look ok without. Why is keeping it on bad (besides being indoors).

[–]1StuttBuffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol these are try-hard guidelines. If I ever travel to 1940's New York or a swanky gay bar, these will come on handy. At the bars I go to though, acting like that will have people thinking you're an insecure/autistic fag and laughing behind your back.

[–]vertozia 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What is this shit?


.. then i might throw up in your face and steal yo girl if i feel like it, just cos you're a bitch

[–]Subtlefart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought this sub was fucking crazy. This guy makes some solid fundamental points. I pretty much incorporate most of this into my daily life already. The left hand drink tho, never thought about it, but it makes perfect logical sense. Solid post NYC.

[–]meh613 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upvoted and saved... This is a fantastic guide to being a good bar patron. Thank you very much, /u/trpthroway123 ! Unfortunately, some of your other contributions are not as fantastic.

[–]Trumpanoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never wait longer than 15 mins in line. If you can't bribe your way in then don't bother.

As much as I love gin and tonics, ladies seem to hate them, I've been told frequently it reminds them of old alcoholic men.

If they order something unusual I will always take a sip of their drink. The trick here is you must take it confidently, don't ask for permission.

Always try and sit next to them at a bar or table. Sitting directly across makes it difficult to kino. Also comes across as more impersonal and can be like an interview situation.

If there is a dance floor, always take the lead and ask her to dance. Even if you can't dance for shit you can get away with it if it's you pulling her on to the dance floor. Smile and have fun.

If you don't want to dance make it clear early. Tell her she is allowed to go and you like to watch. As soon as she has gone you must approach another girl. Do not sit and wait.

[–]TendaMonsta -3 points-3 points [recovered]

Take off your fucking hat.

Seriously. Doesn't matter if you're bald. You're inside, hat off.

Hell no. My visor beanie complements my personal style. Never had anyone complain anywhere about me having my hat on.

[–]Crime-WoW 21 points22 points  (0 children)

visor beanie.

so many keks.

[–]trpthroway123[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Guidelines, not rules.

Please keep in mind, my area is full of higher end bars. If you're visiting more casual places, it's less of an issue.

If you're going to places with a dress code, the hat shouldn't come. I'm sure you'd agree, a baseball hat is almost always in bad taste out at a bar or club.

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