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Red Pill TheoryIf you'd just keep your mouth shut, you'd notice a difference in your social community. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

[deleted]


[–][deleted] 114 points115 points  (16 children)

If you find yourself unhappy with your social circle, to the point where you're talking shit about them.. It's probably a sign that it's time to move on. You're at a stage in your development where you've outgrew them and it's time to move onward and upward.

Perfect example: My hometown clique..

I grew up with these guys. We skated together, hungout together all day every day when we weren't busy, partied together, etc.. Generally they were just my squad and we had each other's backs. The friendship with my friends back home kind of reminded me of the book "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton. (youth book, but honestly a great read for the beach or something at any age).

All of my friends back home either didn't go to college, or they went to CC for a semester or two and dropped out. I got accepted to another college and did really well my first year with a high GPA. Most of my friends back home work some menial job now that doesn't even pay them enough to move out and rent their own bedroom in an apartment with friends. Or they simply don't have the ambition to move out at all.

Coming home during the summer between semesters, I found myself to get more and more frustrated with these friends. None of them ever seemed to want to do anything anymore, they never call me to hangout, I'm always the one making all the plans and arrangements for group trips like hitting the beach or camping with 0 effort from anyone else. Drama raises in the group because some of the guys are too stupid to understand that hitting on their friend's girlfriend and trying to sleep with her at a party is a social faux pas.. etc..

Eventually I realized "wow I have nothing in common with these guys anymore" and moved on. Kind of a lone wolf at this point in my life but I figure it's better to be alone, focused on my goals, and making up for all that time I lost hanging out on my friend's steps drinking 40s every night.

Anyway, if you find yourself surrounded by people who you don't approve of or have nothing in common with you might as well leave instead of wasting time dwelling on the disapproval of your friend group. Or simply keep a healthy distance where their behaviors don't really affect you that much.

[–]bill-shitzington 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this somewhat. Definitely felt like I have nothing in common with my friends any longer and decided to distance myself from them. Now I do shit on my own because I'm sick of hearing people say they're not interested or having them always flake or just be lazy last minute. Or even worse, because they can't handle themselves in social situations (not like I'm a pro). It's not terrible being alone, as you say, but sometimes it's like, man I wish other people wanted to challenge themselves and come out to do shit. A while ago I came to the conclusion that it's foolish to expect anyone to join you on the road to self improvement.

[–]Fire_away_Fire_away 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had this switch happen near the end of high school. It was sort of an epiphany that they didn't do shit on the weekend, I was wasting my time with them, etc. So I mended my friendship with my old best friend who had had grown apart from and started hanging out more with my debate team friends (our HS always won state, debate was the EC that the smart hot girls did so they could get into good colleges).

That guy is going to be best man at my wedding and I still talk to some of those people 10 years later. Can't be afraid to cut ties.

[–]mad_researcher 3 points4 points  (10 children)

This is one of my greatest fears. I don't know what I would do without my squad

[–]Crimson_Cleric 20 points21 points  (4 children)

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" -Stand By Me

[–]Ochreata 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Never had any friends like ones I had when I was in the army....

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So bittersweet in its truth.

[–]bibbleskit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If I'm understanding this correctly, the quote means that 12 yr old friends were better than current friends?

I can't agree with that. My friends today are the best I've ever had and I'd never give them up.

If the quote is the opposite, then well, yeah.

[–]Crimson_Cleric 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should watch the movie Stand by Me. It's about a group of childhood friends sharing one last adventure before starting junior high school. The quote is more about your perception of friendship before life becomes complicated and strips away your idealism and naivete.

[–]Bsayz 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You can have different groups of friends you hangout with. You're not limited to only hanging out with one group of people. Some friends don't mix well and that's okay. Some days one group might not want to hangout , some days they all might want to hangout. You can be the guy who connects all of them.

It's all good any way you do it really. Wana hangout with just the squad that's fine to

[–]top-notch-alpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, im in this position its funny how people change. One of my friends i met in college i didn't really think much of him when i first met him, now hes like a brother to me. The type of friend that will take a bullet for you. Then theres the friends that enjoy your company and just have a good time, but when you fall they're gone.

[–]mad_researcher 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah I know what you mean, I have different groups I hang out with. There's one group that are like brothers to me though

[–]Bsayz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah same with me man . I know what you mean to

[–]1ToSeeAndToHear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably surpass them if they're holding you back.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow you just word for word described my hometown friend clique SO WELL this makes perfect sense.

[–]yummyluckycharms 247 points248 points  (26 children)

OP:

It comes down to calibration based on different types of social settings. At work - you're advice is true - dont say anything negative, dont reveal anything specific about your personal life, and when asked for advice give vague platitudes.

Among friends though, none of this should apply. You should be very open with them and if you're not - they aren't your friends. I suspect that you're a millennial and grew up with facebook, because most older people realize what friends are and aren't. Friends you can talk to, share stories with, be dumb with. Someone on a screen or simply an acquaintance, you cannot.

[–]offthebeatmeoff 78 points79 points  (4 children)

You know what's up. Less is more when you're in the office or hitting on chicks, but you're real friends are the few people you can actually open up to. No one can be a hard ass 24/7.

[–]yummyluckycharms 62 points63 points  (3 children)

No one can be a hard ass 24/7.

Nor should they....its not healthy and stunts ones emotional development. Its good to see another person that recognizes that.

[–]offthebeatmeoff 24 points25 points  (2 children)

There's lots of people here that see that. This is a big community and I'm not trying to be a dick, but a lot of guys still don't get it and still see everything as too black and white. There are a millions shades of grey, and context is key in every situation.

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl 3 points4 points  (1 child)

There's one of the suggested readings, I'm pretty sure NMMNG, in which the author says that blue/beta/nice guys tend to see the world very black and white, and that they have a hard time seeing the grey in between. I know this was true for me, and you see it here all the time.

[–]offthebeatmeoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good memory right there. I completely forgot about that and I read the book relatively recently. Good for you on your recovery. I always like seeing what people went through. Care to share your story?

[–]scramtek 13 points14 points  (14 children)

Even with friends you shouldn't be talking shit about others behind their back. You can allude to issues but breaking it down into details comes across as justification. And justification comes across as caring too much about things that shouldn't matter. You'll be perceived in a negative light, no matter how correct you are.
People cannot be swayed into thinking badly about someone they like. And why should you care what others think. You know the truth and that's all that matters. Most people are not only oblivious to the machinations of others but are willing to look past them once they become aware. Allow them their folly. Most people are weak. We try to maintain principles. OP is correct. Less is more.

[–]yummyluckycharms 3 points4 points  (11 children)

Even with friends you shouldn't be talking shit about others behind their back

While unless you are talking about other friends behind their back, which is a no-no, then talking about strangers to your friends is normal. People venting doesnt lead to one being looked upon in a negative light - what does is when people whine about something without actually doing anything about it - repeatedly

People cannot be swayed into thinking badly about someone they like

Quite true and astute - many people dont realize this.

And why should you care what others think

No man is an island - even a hermit has to at least consider what the towns people think of him/her. There are numerous ways in which a negative perception of one self held by others can be detrimental. The key is measuring what damage that person can do. Your boss can fuck you over - the window washer - not so much.

[–]LordThunderbolt 16 points17 points  (2 children)

There's a quote that goes "If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you". I have found it to always be true. If a friend is always bad mouthing people behind their backs, you better believe he's bad mouthing you behind your back. It's a character trait, not just something he does once in a while.

[–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Probably - but wouldnt you rather someone say it to your face instead behind your back. This is why its okay to open to your friends - no backstabbin

[–]LordThunderbolt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd rather not be around that person. After a while when you're no longer around they find other people to talk about.

[–]bluedrygrass 2 points3 points  (7 children)

  • even a hermit has to at least consider what the towns people think of him/her.

You know, that's the main thing about being an hermit, not caring about what people think of you.

Choose a better example next time.

[–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points  (6 children)

does a hermit not need to go into town for food or supplies. Exactly.

[–]bluedrygrass 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Exactly what? You're exactly wrong in believing having to eat something would make a hermit, the poster concept of not caring about useless stuff, caring about people's gossips.

[–]yummyluckycharms 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Buddy - how do you think a hermit gets food?

He goes into town, talks to people and if they hate him, they wont sell their food to him. Haven't you ever lived outside of the city before?

[–]bluedrygrass 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Have you ever heard of a hermit before? The whole concept revolves around not caring about what other people thinks and useless stuff

[–]yummyluckycharms 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Again - have you ever read the history of famous hermits? They removed themselves off into remote locations, but still had helpers / followers bring them food.

[–]bluedrygrass 0 points1 point  (1 child)

And again-how is that giving a fuck about people's gossip?

[–]letsjustfindout 3 points3 points [recovered]

But it's so subjective as to what's talking shit. Saying,

"Hey guys, is it just me or is John's new girlfriend a little too flirty with other guys when we're at parties? She seems to be a little out of line"

will make some people think you're talking shit, and some think you're trying to have some backing before letting a friend know he's being taken advantage of.

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Interesting, why the vague platitudes?

[–]yummyluckycharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

people cant get hurt feelings by them and they are feel good non-actionable compliments. Cue episode line from futurama involving paying for broken window

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He means talking about them behind their back, not being open and honest

[–]Banned_For_Opinion 15 points16 points  (2 children)

This seems very female-esque to me. Maybe do this at work, but be open with your friends. That's what they're there for. This sub is so alpha and calculated sometimes, it's unreal... All these rules make me feel like I'm friends with a bunch of 12 year old girls....

[–]NeoreactionSafe 47 points48 points  (7 children)

The workplace is a war zone and this was true in High Tech going back to the 1990's.

You simply have to stick to work and nothing else.

If you find someone who you can trust... someone who will not rat you out to others... then it's okay to discuss what is happening.

Typically the further up the power channels you go the more possible it is to describe the "real story" contrasted with the "official narrative".

I remember one time when a round of layoffs was going around and you had to "pretend" everything was just fine even though everyone knew that heads were soon to roll. (fired)

"Don't scare the horses."

...is a saying that applies.

Even if you know the dirt, be careful who you talk to.

I was involved in some stuff where actual corporate crimes were being investigated and secrecy involving the ones involved is required.

Just think of work as war.

Work is not a place for your feelings... some SJW maybe... but not yours.

 

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's a warzone, filled with spies if you climb the ladder high enough. I've turned down huge corporate promotions because I couldn't stand who I was going to be around, the amount of evil that exists at high corporate positions is frightening. At that altitude if you show any kind of human decency, like caring about people who have worked for the company for 25 years, you will be viewed as weak, very similar to a whale bleeding in the ocean and the sharks will sense it and feed. I've seen groups of people lose their jobs at an executive's whim, not even thought out. "Let's try this out". I've even heard one guy say if he could fire 10,000 people and make the company an extra $10,000 profit in a year he would do it in a heartbeat. And yes, once you turn down a promotion you will never be offered another. (for the most part)

The old saying, "it's a jungle out there", is very very true. The difference is that companies will kill other companies just because they can, not because they need the food. So it's worse actually in some ways, but at least people don't lose their lives, usually.

How did I deal with it? Started my own company 20 years ago and haven't looked back since. I make my own rules.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

 

I've turned down huge corporate promotions because I couldn't stand who I was going to be around, the amount of evil that exists at high corporate positions is frightening.

 

Absolutely true.

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Each step up the pyramid matches with higher and higher corruption.

The Founding Fathers knew this as a fact and always designed the systems to have Checks and Balances so that corrupt forces were at each others throats all the time.

These days the Globalist Tyranny works in harmony with each other and they operate their Dark Luciferian systems to extract wealth and corrupt people.

The closer we get to complete Globalist Tyranny the darker the corrupt forces will become.

Expect more things which the Globalist Tyranny encourages:

  • Wars

  • Terrorism

  • Environmental poisoning (GMO for example)

 

[–]EatmyShorts59 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Any more tips on work place etiquette ?

As a young company man, I have been trying to live by the 48 laws of power.

I am sticking to the rule of 2-3 years switch positions.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (3 children)

For me it was like holding my breathe.

The best thing is to be planning some alternative future that gets you out of there.

Money makes you a slave... try to free yourself.

The more of an independent business you can get into the better.

In my case I worked hard from 1988-2001 and then stopped working and live off of the profits.. still am actually.

But I rode two bubbles... dot.com and real estate... at the same time.

My house went up in value at 25% a year from 1997 to 2002 and I actually made more money from that profit than my income, though my income was good too.

You can't think you can do the generic stupid shit:

  • Get into Student Debt (I avoided that entirely despite two BS Degrees)

  • Work for someone

  • Spend too much on Rent

  • Buy a house beyond your means or in a down market

...and on and on.

Like in the Red Pill the first rule is "Kill the Beta".

So "Kill the Bad Ideas" in your professional life.

Always ask yourself:

"Do my actions lead to my freedom or my enslavement?"

Debt is probably the number one stupid thing now.

 

[–]EatmyShorts59 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Thankfully, nothing you said is new to me. Still much appreciated though.

My current job will FULLY pay for my master's degree in entrepreneurship.

Sadly, I do have student debt (30k) but I am paying more than my monthly minimum.

I still live with my parents, so my rent is hella cheap ($320/month) And thankfully my dad is in no rush to kick me out.

I make $50k annually, 25 years old.

I feel like I have to take advantage of the free educational opportunity I am being offered.

But my end goal is self reliance.

The RP is awesome because I realize that if someone else can do it,

So can I.


Also

"Do my actions lead to my freedom or my enslavement?"

Saved !!!!

[–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just keep doing what you are doing and dig out of that debt and don't stop after that either. Start piling up reserves afterwards.

It's good to have at least $50k in your bank account "just in case".

 

[–]EatmyShorts59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note to self: I'm on the right path.

[–]Jakei34 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I have trouble with this honestly.

[–]FemtoG 6 points7 points  (2 children)

for me the problem arises when frankly you don't have much else to talk about with a person, and clearly the most interesting topic is the gossip. but alas, it is true it shouldn't be the #1 thing

[–]EatmyShorts59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not trying to rag on anyone but is gossip the best thing you can think of?

What about your personal Hobbies? Previous life Events? Sports? TV? Event's you are looking forward to? Books? Music? Games?

Granted gossip can cover many vast categories/topics.

But this sub preaches that you should guys should be living awesome lives. If the best conversation topic you can offer is gossip, Wtf ?

[–]Echelon64 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess I'll admit it, I have trouble with this this too. However, it's come to the point where I realized that the topics I want to talk about are not topics people are interested about: science, current events (avoiding politics though), history, some new tech, or cars (high end or otherwise). I was talking to a usual work buddy about cars and explaining the details of why I think the new Honda Civic's taillights look like puked geometry until another co-worker came in with the latest juicy gossip I gave no fucks about.

Honestly, I need another less drama filled job.

[–]GentlemenMindset 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I disagree with talking about goals and plans. Sometimes you may make a shitty fucking decision even though you haven't gone through with it.

Friends can take a non-invested perspective and give you some insight and possibly keep you from making said shitty decision.

Other than that spot on.

[–]drspaceman92 8 points9 points  (1 child)

** Keep vague. If someone asks you something that pertains to these things, say it's "good." Say it's "going well." Say, "I don't know." **

That's what I do, but then I'm labeled as a quiet/shy person (which I am) and people in general are awkward around me. Meanwhile people who just talk and talk about the dumbest things are having much more success

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think OP meant keep vague about everything. Just gossip and your boring job.

[–]FUTBALAR 6 points6 points [recovered]

I believe this problem roots down to early conditioning in school. Boys are girls are treated the same way and have been told that there are no differences between the two genders. Naturally, boys pick up feminine behaviour from girls and stick with it (if not corrected). I lived with 3 sisters, so I did the same. But, at the time, I studied in gender-segregated or all-boys school. I was made fun of, and over time, I adapted. A few years later, when I moved to a co-ed school, I've noticed a big difference in the behaviour of boys. Boys in co-ed schools were more weak, bitchy, whinny, emotionally-talkative, indecisive, gossiping....(insert any feminine behaviour).

[–]Mudane 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I agree, im still in highschool. But i see how alot of guys act like females. But that also comes from a lack of male role models and mentors. For the most part women dominate as teachers across amercia.

[–]clearheadeddd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hey I'm kind of struggling in this area. I know I still have bitch fem tendencies and am better at spotting them out and correcting them, but I can still use all the help I can get. Can you elaborate on how you used to act, how and in what ways have you've changed?

[–]Jiggajonson 4 points5 points  (1 child)

The "good" trick was something my grandfather taught me.

"I'm making a lot of money in the stock market these days." "Good. Good."

"I'm pregnant again." "Good. Good."

It basically functioned like a softball compliment that everyone was satisfied with for some reason.

[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Everything in this thread is well-covered by How To Win Friends and Influence People. Read it, apply it!

[–]Thewelshpill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What susie says about sally, says more about susie than sally

[–]ShaneTino 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never talk bad of others when they aren't around unless it is a serious problem that has irked me, in which case me and that person will soon be talking anyway. Don't talk bad of others, talk good. Boosting other people's value when they aren't around shows others a sense of valuing others instead of the American norm of destroying others reputations with your bitch beta mouth. Increasing the value of others when they are not around by talking good of them to people also boosts your value. Though, actually valuing others has to come first.

[–]Saintmyname 2 points3 points  (1 child)

As the man says:

Great minds focus on ideas. Average minds concern themselves with events. Small minds talk about other folks.

[–]clearheadeddd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love quotes like this one, that just slap me in the face. I will live by these words.

[–]123456789012345a 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Completely disagree. You're making yourself an outsider. Nobody will care about you if you don't express something about yourself openly.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what your plans and goals are

Uggh.. i have that one co worker who talks and talks about his certifications, his can't wait to find a better job, and how he is so skilled above everyone else and that the company will go to shit without him.

In reality he's been in the same spot for the past 5 years. No movement, no promotion. I entered his department at same rank with less than a year in.

I don't share my plans, i don't share my goals, i have my own personal milestone of moving up or out within 2-3 years. Haven't jump company yet but have moved positions.

[–]TheRealMouseRat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your opinions of others.

Shitty things others have done.

not talking about these things just means that you have a tiny shred of decency. this should have been learned during ones upbringing.

talking about your plans and goals should be something one should be able to do in my opinion. it might inspire others to get goals too. people should have goals to strive for.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't effing understand why people, especially women and amusingly men talk shit about others.

[–]ransay3277 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with OP. Everyone I know who is considered a jerk or avoided has one common trait. They talk too much. As Mark Twain once said... Better to be silent and suspected of being a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

[–]CertaintyIsAbsurd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hmm... This is advice will keep you from destroying yourself but also keep you from rising up the ranks. Best to follow this advice until you know how to play the game. Only the exceptionally talented could follow this advice and be even somewhat successful and even then only as a tool for someone else to build their career. At some point you have to get in on the game and start assassinating other people's character, while making it seem like it was never you that did it.

[–]FriedHayek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes me sick, makes me know I can't trust them with shit, and I need to keep my eye on what I say around them in case it is communicated to others I care about in my social circle, in a negative light.

Now, sometimes, I have information that is rather exciting, and I would like to share it with others in my group, my male friends. However, I don't. I started biting my lip a long time ago when it bit me in my ass. Word travels quickly that you talk and what you say does make it back to people, and typically not in a good light. You don't want this, your not a little girl. You're a fucking adult man amongst guys who act like children.

Well put.

When I think of gossipers, I think of people who don't notice their own drooling. Someone gave you that secret, that info in confidence, and you showed me that you gave it to me for free. Even though I never asked for it.

It's like thieves. If you're going to steal and lie and cheat for me, when I get sunshine, then I know that I'm going get stolen from, lied to and cheated as soon as I get bad weather.

[–]HiGuysiamkewl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

[–]Beachbum74 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Does include people in general? Such as athletes, celebrities, and politicians?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't talk about politicians.

[–]TehJimmyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some friends in my group which they gossip others and say bad things and then you see them together outside while i get left out.

What i wonder isn't revenge but how the heck they have the balls to face each other after so much trash talking ? They feel like nothing.But they keep frame unlike i

[–]justaskingman7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a weird read up. It's not the fact that you're stating the obvious but it's just weird stating it at all but here is my take away from what you wrote: - don't be a woman. Don't gossip, don't talk bad about others and simply.. don't be a woman. As red pill frequenters here.. there shouldn't be much of a problem with this as most people are striving to be a better man. - curtailing on the above point, NEVER EVER for the sake of your man-hood and whatever being a man is to you, should you fuck with another guys job, house or family. This is not to say you can't aim for his job - you definitely should.. but you shouldn't be a bitch about it and bad mouth him to his superiors and subvert it with sabotage kind of shit. You should state it so it's well known to him and everyone else and go about proving that and most of all EARNING it. So no gossiping about it, bitch talking, sabotaging shit, etc.. none of that shit. - Most people, in social settings be it in a work environment or otherwise... TALK SHIT about NOTHING and they label this as socializing. Not necessarily gossiping about people or others.. but just talking shit. For example, have you heard of the stat that 80% of rape victims start enjoying the sex eventually after the fear subsides (I made this up now, total bs as far as I know)? but guess what? it'll spark a conversation, outrage, outcry! whatever.. but you'll be remember-able, either as an interesting dude or as a creep but either way those labels didn't get attached because of the conversation per se.. but rather if she found you fuckable regardless of it. The only thing you proved with the conversation is that you are not a social retard and can talk... and that you don't give a fuck about polarizing people and their opinions of you which is sexy to a woman, it's confidence. Most people would not bring up that rape stat into conversation because it might be too polarizing and afraid of judgment etc and it can be weird, that's why you can't be an autistic fuck talking about non-sense without the right tone in your voice, smile on your face, laugh when appropriate, questioning as well.. you know what I mean? There is a real difference between talking about a subject and conversing about one. - There are times where, actually. almost ALL times, it is worse to be passive and play it cool with 'I don't know', 'whatever' type answers than it is to have any kind of opinion and stick to it. Being passive and too cool is fucking retarded. If you think feminists are fucking gay, then say it in front of a feminist at work if asked the question. That is called being true to yourself. Now, don't get yourself in trouble by slamming down 1000 facts her throat until she cries.. but if asked a question, answer it. Be proud of the answer because that is what you believe and you wouldn't believe it for no reason right? there is a logical, sane, and rational reason for it so state it. The whole reason TRP exists is because so called men have accepted shit for no reason for decades now, ignoring it and being too cool to ruffle feathers and here you have it, a culture where so called men can't air there opinions and reasons for them being afraid of judgement, being fired, polarizing people, this thing or that... FUCK THAT NOISE.

Say what you want to say and when you want to say it and how you want to say it every single time and you will be aye-okay. Living this way is the only option.

[–]Mudane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The advice is good. But i only think that applies to people who are outside of your social circle. Like why would i include someone in my life if i know thier just going to talk about me. Thats not relley a friend. So thier not going to be in my social circle.

[–]casemodsalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When people ask me those things, I just say "I'm just out here doing my thug thizzle"

[–]ultimatewpierdol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much the same goes with bragging. I know that sometimes you feel like boasting about something, but then again - bite your tongue and shut the fuck up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Goddamn you described my workplace so fucking bad. Everyone talks behind eachothers backs about some stupid mistake or something they said, when the truth is everybody makes fucking mistakes.

[–]ingenjor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the protocol on telling your friends about your newfound dating prowess? I've noticed they don't seem all that interested anymore, but I'm bursting at the seams to talk about it with someone.

[–]Merica911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what your plans and goals are

I don't see that being a problem. I don't think to talk about it 24/7, but I'm a true believer if you talk about you'll be about it

[–]Expectations1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you dont atleast portray an awareness of gossip and who is good / bad at their job in the workplace, rest assured someone will most likely be talking about you. Unless youre fukn exceptional at your job, you have to maintain an aura that someone will tell you if someone else shit talked you. This, on some level, gives you a particular level of power. Im not saying its right or good.

Im saying "PLAY THE GAME WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT TO PLAY IT, AND WIN."

Now for close friendships, this should not apply.

[–]meggy_stardust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I've seen my friends "talk shit" about friends, it's done in a factual way, and usually out of concern...also not in secret really. Like if someone isn't acting themselves, or did something crappy....we keep each other's morality in check.

Then there is the the people who talk real, unwarranted shit...usually to hold themselves in hypocritical comparison...I think that's the person type you're talking about.

[–]Canon007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good post, in the back of my mind i always felt like i was a bit 'loud' and that the way i was behaving would put me in a bad light. I need to work on this

[–]LivingstonArt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Admittedly I'm guilty of this, I'm improving though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Problem is nobody wants to hear about archery or the guitar, all anyone ever talks about is other people so what should I do?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Good post; this info and more is found in How To Make Friends and Influence People ...mandatory reading.

[–]PragmaticRedTruth 1 points1 points [recovered]

When I read it, I saw way too many beta traits. I don't see a high value man displaying the totality of that book. In essence, it is game, but it is very needy game.

I know some parts didn't lack outcome independence like, "get involved in the convo and become actually interested, etc."

But, so much of that book covered this people pleasing portion I disliked. It seemed that was the central thesis. And honestly, it doesn't work well outside of business. The real friends you make that you love are few and far between, everyone else... they're just passing by and my goal isn't to win them, they should win me.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 0 points1 point  (3 children)

they're just passing by and my goal isn't to win them, they should win me.

I sincerely hope you don't believe this; such a mentality guarantees you to be your own worst enemy. 4/5ths of people want to meet others but are shy & socially unskilled, the other fifth keep themselves down by thinking just as you do.

The remainder become first-generation 1%ers. Until you have obvious, widely known status to where many people have heard of you and will speak to you first, the best way to elevate your life is by getting a lot of people to like you and letting them act in your favor - being liked gives you power & influence over people, it's the opposite of "Beta".

[–]PragmaticRedTruth 1 points1 points [recovered]

Maybe it's because I already have a shit ton of friends and some really good friends I've known since I was young that I don't really care.

Idk I suppose it comes down to what I am looking for. Do I want more friends than I have? Ehh, people who come into my life and want to be here will be.

Building my social circle is the least of my worries.

My worries are money, education, and the gym.

Ironically there are two paths you can take when you come to the pill. One that's hedonistic, and one that says, "I understand life is short... However, I don't want to fuvk my future up." I am not prepping myself for a beta bucks, because of this knowledge, just prepping myself not to regret making a great living. So I work and go to school and run a business and that's that.

I call up friends and go out once and a while and get most of my plates via cold approaching or from those times I go out.

I'd love to just throw everything up in the air and bro it out, lose my job that pays well over 100k, just focus on the business, and quit school for my masters. All I'd do is enjoy life and work. However, I desire to be rich one day, to me for the right reasons beyond just vanity. Not only that, but I seriously enjoy the fuck out of looking at what I've built. So much so, that I am willing to die knowing it's all I spent my life doing.

So yeah, friends... they come and go and then there are the true few. I don't have time to nor do I care to double dip with these bros at the potato chip bar, feel me?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'd love to just throw everything up in the air and bro it out ... However, I desire to be rich one day

don't have time to nor do I care to double dip with these bros at the potato chip bar, feel me?

I understand what you are saying and am putting forward that you never know who's who or who might know who, and that if your top goal is yourself (and not a rich social life), these things are worth knowing all the more. If your goal was a rich social life, then yes, fuck acquaintances - you want the real shit. The experiences you've had in your age, places lived & social circles traveled likely shaped the view you have which sounds like it's working 100K+ well.

Which is, needless to say, really fucking well. At the same time, if you DO want to quit and start your own shit one day, each and every ounce of social capital is going to start translating into new customers & possibly life-changing introductions and contracts very quickly. I'm getting the feeling our stances on this differ because for me, as a guy who owns two businesses and does not do much work besides exec-level customer relations with my clients ...how I got here is through the help of others: LOTS of others, who I didn't click with but made an effort to know anyways.

I get your mentality. It's extremely rewarding to do shit yourself ...and that comes with an upper limit of what you can achieve, beyond which every experience, material possession & cash balance is obtainable through other people.

[–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

" I know some guys who can seriously work on this who are alphas in my circle. They just don't have interesting shit to talk about every second and start going off about other people's business. Makes me sick, makes me know I can't trust them with shit, and I need to keep my eye on what I say around them in case it is communicated to others I care about in my social circle, in a negative light."

This X 1000 for me. One of my brother's friends is like that. He keeps telling me shit about people I don't even know. That's literally all he talks about. That and gym stuff which I don't mind most of the time. But damn, it makes me sick.

There's a quote that goes "Great minds talk about ideas. Average minds talk about events. Small minds talk about people". And it's true as fuck. In the past year since that friend has been hanging around more at the house and hitting me up I notice that my IQ has dropped a bit.

It's so fucking annoying dude, especially since I don't like to fuck with too many people in the first place. I'd next him easy but he's my bros friend and comes around every now and then.

What are your thoughts?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf what is this high school lol? I say whatever the fuck is on my mind. I dont really give a shit what response I get since Im an adult and not being held down by anyone.

You should pay respect to people because its the right thing to do, but theres no need to arbitrarily just shut your mouth. You dont want to end up being some passive aggressive faggot that nobody likes.