586
587
588

Red Pill TheoryFlirting 102 (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by AmericanHistoryAFBB

Summary: If you haven't checked out Flirting 101, refer to my post history and click top posts of all time. Otherwise, in this followup post I will be going over more flirting tips. There's a secret for how to flirt with women that most guys don't know about - and I'm going to reveal it here. You could call it a hidden ingredient for flirting with women that gets overlooked about 90 percent of the time.

First of all, when you discover how to flirt with women, you realize that it's not about pickup lines or seduction techniques - or any of that. It's about something that guys give a lot of lip service to, but don't focus on nearly enough. Stay with me and I'll reveal what that something is.

In Flirting 101 I revealed these 3 flirting mistakes: Waiting too long to approach or start the conversation, flirting with your mouth instead of your whole body, and asking for a date instead of just a small "upsell." Here are 3 more!

Mistake 4: Complimenting a woman's looks.

The first thing I see a lot of plugged in guys go for is the flattery angle when they try to flirt with women. WRONG! The unfortunate part is that this tactic does work, but not when it's done carelessly.

The best thing to compliment a woman on is her appearance, but not on the parts that come naturally to her. The things she was given - her looks or genetic traits - don't feel earned. Better is to compliment her on her CHOICE in appearance. The easiest way to do this is to compliment her on her clothes or jewelry.

You see, her appearance is something that she had to consciously think about and choose, and compliments you make about this are felt far more deeply. Women are looking for validation - as everyone is. But when you're validated on something that you can't control such as her appearance and looks (except with make-up and hair products), it doesn't resonate.

Remember that when you want to know how to flirt with women, you have to target the areas that she is most likely to respond to.

Mistake 5: Relying on words alone.

This is quite similar to Mistake 2 in my Flirting 101 post, but I really want to drill this whole body language thing in.

Again, most guys think that a woman is only listening to what he's saying when he walks up, and that she will believe what he says. The guys who are the best at meeting women know that what you say is just about the least important thing when you discover how to flirt with women.

Women are actually keying in on a bunch of signals from you, including your body language, tonality, and eye contact. All of these things are much more important than the words you say. In fact, when men focus too much on words, they actually turn women off because they become ten times more obvious by saying it instead of hinting at it with their body language.

No matter what you say, women know immediately when you're hitting on them.

Being smooth is overrated.

Don't be smooth.

Mistake 6: Not being GENUINE.

If you haven't figured it out by now, the hidden ingredient for how to flirt with women is really simple: it's sincerity. It's your authenticity and willingness to just be yourself. It's because this is what she needs to know in order to trust you and feel safe around you.

The big mistake that most guys make is to try to hide their interest in a woman, and hide their sexuality in the process. This is what kills attraction for women because they sense a man who is not in harmony with himself. He will seem like he's trying to be deceptive, even when he's doing what he thinks the woman wants.

Or, if he's not honest about his interest, she will think he's "just friends" material, and that kills attraction right away. Not to mention that converting a woman from a friend into more is ten times harder than if you just did it right in the first place.

When you try to keep your sexual interest hidden, she will also sense that you've got a hidden agenda.

And that feels plain sneaky.

The real source of attraction is always in the power of uncertainty with a woman, while being true to yourself. When she feels your power as a man, and doesn't know where she stands with you, that leaves the door wide open for romance when you're learning how to flirt with women.

I hope you took something useful out of this.

The Lesson: More flirting in a nutshell.


[–]ouroborus_ 136 points137 points  (29 children)

In my experience a lot of guys get the being genuine and comfortable with yourself confused with a free license to be an off-putting weirdo and you do a great job of elucidating that here. For example, I love black metal, but I'm not necessarily going to put it on during a first date and explain it's bloody history.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (18 children)

"I was born in the cemetery Under the sign of the moon. Raised from my grave by the dead"

Great, that will be in my head all morning.

[–]thInc 28 points29 points  (4 children)

You mean you don't wear the same Children of Bodom shirt and black jeans from high school?

[–]Rosenmyah 12 points13 points  (1 child)

We would have gotten along in highschool.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What you guys don't like them?

[–]Darkwoodz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That totally works if you're jacked and the clothes are well fitted.

[–]ouroborus_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those are the kids I try to suggest better music to

[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think you coiuld bring it up cos it's one of your interests... but i man, don't full on hardcore on her...

[–]dart200 -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

yourself confused with a free license to be an off-putting weirdo and you do a great job of elucidating that here.

sounds like someone who's insecure. it's really about not giving a fuck that you're off-putting because you're so awesome. i don't really know how to obtain that mindset though, i'm rather socially 'insane', and only get in a somewhat sporadic manner. but god damn is my girlfriend attracted to me in a way that she's tried her hardest to get over, but cannot. lol.


anyways, this is/was my unchanged okcupid profile: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/are_you_asleep ... including bringing up my suicidal ideation i get when i feel there is zero long-term worthy women out there.

and this was the first 3 messages i wrote before my current girlfriend responded:

trying to save the world might put your life in danger.

Jesus died for our sins, but he did not solve our sins. he died to show that being willing to give the ultimate sacrifice for our sins is necessary, but actually doing so is counter productive. he allowed himself to be sacrificed by fate itself to give us the ideas, or memes, necessary to actually save the world with.

or i dunno. my head-space is consistently ridiculous. it's pretty awesome internally. but showing others has been existentially hard on my soul, no one i've met has been able to taken the full brutal honest that i inevitably give. like i couldn't stop if i could, because pursuing catagorical honesty in all aspects of my life is the best decision i've made my whole life. many times i feel it's the only decision that i've actually made about my life. i aim to be a pillar of Truth in this crazy, god-forsaken world, but this is not an easy task to undertake, and i'm quite frankly tired of doing it alone. lol. Jesus tried saving the world on his own, you can't do it. it doesn't work like that.

and for the most part, i've given up on allowing myself to really believe said someone who can actually take such honesty, actually exists. especially a woman because they are more ingrained with social customs and good vs bad wordings/actions. i will likely expose parts of yourself you don't even know exist, and then i'm going to force you to deal with them.

because that is what the process of saving the world is: getting humans to finally deal with all the pent up internal shit they've been ignoring under the guise of 'tact' and 'respect'.

none of this 'it's inappropriate to asking a girl how many sex partners she's had' ... you get asked the question, you answer it with direct honesty. lol. so how many sex partners have you had?


this is first song i (arbitrarily) happened to listen to after writing you this message, you should check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1PQRE6rJOM


Anyway, I think you are cute and would like to take to take you out on a date. Does tomorrow, Saturday at 6:30 work for you?

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thanks for the Gold man. I'm glad the post was of use.

[–]dart200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol. keep spreading the truth. red pill has a lot of truth, but a lot of bullshit too.

being genuine is probably the most important thing to keeping a woman, they like just can't let go once they realize how honest you are, it's pretty funny.

the hard part is getting them to reality how honest you actually are. tons of honest is mistaken for dishonesty, and vise versa.

[–]ConfusedPill 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Damn dude you're killing it with these posts lately. I really enjoyed Flirting 101 and this is a welcome followup to it. Surprised you're not endorsed yet. Keep 'em coming!

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB[S] 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Thanks I'm glad people are getting value out of these tips.

Ha, I'd love to be endorsed, but I have been hit and miss with posts lately. Maybe this is my comeback?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

keep it up! You're inside my head and I appreciate the succinct actionable feedback

[–]Kamiwari727 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's amazing! It definitely is ;)

[–]Rumzdizzle 29 points30 points  (12 children)

The one about complementing is so on point. That advice on complementing things they consciously chose is golden.

[–]Bashed 14 points15 points  (1 child)

The bit about how to compliment women is genius. That part where he covers complimenting is well done.

[–]silentlyfurious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Made me giggle. Quality sarcasm on this one.

[–]p3n1x 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Better is to compliment her on her CHOICE in appearance. The easiest way to do this is to compliment her on her clothes or jewelry.

I read a theory to stay away from 'compliments' period (in the beginning). After many feild tests, I believe in this as a law now. I understand not complimenting is hard, it goes against your social indoctrination, it feels good to do it. You think you are doing something "nice".

I'm not going to get very deep about it, but remember, compliments are a selfish choice. Compliments are also risky. Imagine complimenting a piece of clothing / jewelry, "oh look at you and your choice in fashion .. blah blah blah, gay gay gay". Pay attention to the other possibility, lets say you just complimented an article of fashion that she didn't pick or buy in the first place, a gift, potentially from some other male. You just validated HIM.

/GolfClap

Compliments Are Not Flirting. If you want to open with, "hey, where did you get that XXX piece of fashion" .. fine, but never ever give your opinion on it. Let her hamster spin.

[–]Rosenmyah 7 points8 points  (2 children)

That's actually a very solid point. I think it might be best to just avoid them at all costs. I'd rather make a sarcastic compliment (example: she was running late and forgot to do her hair so you ask her what salon she goes to) or something along those lines.

[–]Successwillcome 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Obviously reading text doesn't give me tone of speech, even with the word sarcastic before it, but does this work? Would they laugh, or would you have to sort CYA, and follow up with something else?

[–]s-to-the-am 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sarcasm is your best friend

[–]whuttupfoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you play it this way and actually gain her attraction, she'll be the one throwing the compliments at you instead, like some shit you've never heard before. Shit will make you feel like a god.

[–]SetConsumes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I like giving genuine complements, but she has to earn them first(impress me), and very few are given which makes it easier to give the ones I really want.

Like a woman that's focused on career, if I like her reasons for career choice, that is complement worthy to me. Typically makes her feel all equal and special too(hahaha).

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]CoriolanusRevisited 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, but you are also playing the "push pull" dynamic as well. Not knowing where she stands is really just about you being a high value man with options, and knowing that she can lose you if she is too boring or catty, even if there are no other women in the room. Remember, even in an informal social setting, at the end of the day your only real power is in walking away and finding another woman.

[–]PissedPajamas 9 points10 points  (0 children)

These posts are great material for the recovering aspie and pretty much anyone new to TRP. It also serves as a reminder for the veterans or the know-it-all's.

Can't wait for 103

[–]DeterBenchPress 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks!

Where do I sign up for your 201 course?

[–]aanarchist 5 points6 points  (2 children)

when did trp stop being a shitposting clusterfuck?

[–]JackGetsIt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When the summer ended and the teens went back to school.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Once I came in and eradicated it.

[–]rtcolleen 9 points10 points  (15 children)

Going to ask again :/ What do you mean by this

Being smooth is overrated.
Don't be smooth.

[–]_the_shape_ 36 points37 points  (4 children)

These days (and given the context above), I'd put "smooth" side by side with PUA. Moving in with the hand of God (or whatever they call it) together with a very 'silky' "hello there..." as if you were some dark, mysterious Spanish guitar player of the night stepping out of a shadowy alley is how I understand "smooth" in the "for the love of Christ Almighty, don't fucking do that shit" sense.

A "smooth" salesman is incredibly off putting - you can't tell if you feel bad for them, are annoyed by them, disgusted by them, and it only seems like they make the problem worse the longer they remain in your presence. I'm sure this is something close to how a girl sees it.

A likeable salesman, however, has a way of getting you to disregard the fact that he's a salesman to begin with. You don't even wonder any longer "the fuck does this guy want from me?", but "I really like talking to this guy". Being "smooth" takes care of itself for people like this.

Typically, you have to chat up a lot of people (not just girls) to reach this understanding on an intuitive level.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Bingo, if you're not chatting up people you have no chance with girls. Well known around here, but it still bears repeating.

[–]Snazzy_Serval 11 points12 points  (1 child)

"Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it."

It seems like you are mixing up smooth and sleazy. The whole point of being smooth is that the person isn't aware that it's happening to them.

You absolutely want to be smooth, but if you are doing it incorrectly, it looks very bad.

[–]Celdron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is entirely correct. When I imagine smooth, I imagine wit. Wit is a natural sign of intelligence combined with confidence and it is extremely attractive to people in general.

If you are lacking the intelligence or confidence, trying to be smooth will fail dramatically.

[–]pingpongsam 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Being smooth is not the same as being a smooth operator.

Being smooth, in this context, means not being direct and trying to protect or coddle the woman from your intentions. It's being disingenuous which horribly unattractive regardless of the side of the fence you stand.

By not being smooth you are not worried about how she is going to perceive your advances. This concept has to be practiced in concert with the other principles already outlined in the 101 and 102. That is, you still don't come off as a blabbering idiot complimenting her on her looks and going straight to I love you or anything.

[–]Submissively_yours 9 points10 points  (5 children)

My interpretation is that "trying" to be smooth usually just makes you look like an ingenuine dork.

[–]verify_account 5 points5 points [recovered]

Yes but that's advice on par with "jus bee urself".

[–]Snazzy_Serval 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are "trying" to be smooth, then that means you don't know how to be smooth and you just look stupid.

[–]rtcolleen 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh sorry, didn't specify, english is not my main language and being 'smooth' in this context is a little lost on me as the correct definition. Is it like being the real life Johnny Bravo? Is OP referring to not act like a fake action figure and instead just be as you would normally would, without exaggerating your behaviour? I'm pretty sure I know what OP meant, but I'd like an example just to be sure.

[–]Submissively_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, like not using fake pick-up lines. Johnny Bravo is a good example of what to not try to be like.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The person below answered your question better than I could. Basically trying to be smooth can come off cheesy and try hard. If you're just naturally smooth though, and you're not consciously trying and everything just flows natural, then like my last tip here puts it...you're being genuine.

[–]jeezydasnowman -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Watch howard on the big bang theory. He's smooth, but not smooth.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

As to point one: earlier this week I chatted up an hb8-9 and we hit it off straight away. I was attending with a group of friends which, to be honest was the focus of my attention and main source of fun. We end up chatting for a bit, she suggests I follow her and her friends to a local club, but since I wanted to see a band at a different venue, I declined, but got her number. The next day her and I meet up, things are getting heated and we go back to my place. She proceeds to tell me how I actually didn't give her a single compliment the first night I met her and how I "lost points" for that. I then proceeded to carry her to my bedroom and seal the deal.

Whenever a girl tells you you've "lost points" or are "kind of a dick" it means the exact opposite. You've actually gained points and she wants your dick.

[–]Late30sMasculist 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Regarding body language: lately, when talking to a girl I have deliberately been making no effort to hide my desires from her. By that I mean, I will slowly and deliberately look her up and down as we're talking so she knows that I am evaluating her body, her clothing, and so on. I do this while still maintaining normal conversation, or during a lull in the conversation. Too aggressive? I could just keep eye contact and not let my eyes roam, but I'm trying to build an unspoken sexual vibe while I'm talking to her.

And your other post I think let me know about a big mistake I have been making lately, and that's escalating too quickly rather than going for small upsells little by little. I'll be changing my approach to slow it down a bit and see if I find it more successful. I have been getting a lot of IOI's lately because I lift and been having problems taking it much beyond that. I think your first post may have pointed me in the right direction.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The biggest take away from these 2 posts is that flirting is more physical than verbal. You can't expect to get close to a woman if you've never touched her. Think of it as a scale from 0-100. You start at 0 and need to do small upsells to get to 100 (100 being sex). Don't speak to her, fucking touch her.

Rub her legs, stroke her back, pinch her ass. I think the most effective way to get your first touch is placing your hand in the small of her back as you cross a road. You're guiding her and now you're touching before a date has even begun - the barrier is broken and the rest of the touching is much easier.

Flirting is 90% touch, 6% eye contact and 4% actual speech.

[–]MAWL_SC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would ditch the roaming eyes. Learn how to check out a woman inconspicuously. Start off looking at an object, pass your eyes over what's got your attention, then lock her eyes. Don't rest on a specific part other than her eyes, it will typically make a person self-conscious and perhaps defensive. Try smiling more and maybe going for a light touch on the shoulder or arm to punctuate a statement, how she responds to this will tell you more than how she responds to your open gazing, which she probably has to deal with on the regular and is considered being thirsty most of the time.

[–]corsega 3 points4 points  (9 children)

Mistake 4: Complimenting a woman's looks.

This is a good reminder. I've been starting all of my daygame approaches to "I was across the street and thought you looked really cute, I wanted to come over and say hi."

I'm going to change it to "I really liked your look/style, I wanted to come over and say hi." and see if my #-close rate increases.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Those lines sound like pussy-pedestaling for me.

I usually start with a question (like "what are you daydreaming about?" if I see that girl is sitting and looking at the distance), and from that point I can develop a conversation. Don't plan too long what to say, as you might get confused and fuck things up.

[–]corsega 10 points11 points  (1 child)

The reason I like more direct openers is that they immediately polarize the girl. I have very limited time whenever I'm out and about and I don't like wasting time with ten minutes conversations that go nowhere, only for the girl to tell me she has a boyfriend when I go for the ask.

I find that by being direct, they either reject you right away, and you go about your day, or you can very easily see whether they're interested.

[–]SetConsumes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Direct openers are nice to save time.

But women love to feel. Anything.

If I have time I make them feel something, silly, gross, scared, excited, etc. Anything honestly as long as it comes off playful and/or mischievous and she doesn't feel like you're a threat.

[–]Short-changedChad 8 points9 points  (2 children)

You see girls sitting and daydreaming? Where is this magical glade where unicorns roam freely. I only ever see girls with angular necks, hunched like beggars over their phones.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's a fairly rare sight, but it happens from time to time (I'm in eastern Europe btw). They are usually waiting for someone or something, and almost always positively react to my approach. Majority of girls are unfortunately phone zombies here as well.

[–]SetConsumes 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Mistake 4: Complimenting a woman's looks.

This is a good reminder. I've been starting all of my daygame approaches to "I was across the street and thought you looked really cute, I wanted to come over and say hi."

I'm going to change it to "I really liked your look/style, I wanted to come over and say hi." and see if my #-close rate increases.

Too many words. Really is unnecessary. 'I wanted to come over and say' is unnecessary, you're justifying yourself.

'Hey, I like your style' is much more confident and direct.

Though I would get more specific and not say style, pick something specific that she's wearing/did or name the style.

[–]corsega 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I got that from http://krauserpua.com, the theory is that they'll be taken off guard and not hear the first thing that comes out of your mouth anyway, so you should make the first part of the sentence something that doesn't matter.

Hence: "I saw you over there and I just thought I would..."

If you start right off with, hey, I like your style, they'll most likely respond with "... what?"

I can certainly run some tests on both.

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]DjonkeC 7 points8 points  (3 children)

The dating game is actually way simpler than you guys are trying to make it.

  1. Don't look like shit

  2. Don't smell like shit

  3. Don't act like an autist

  4. Make a few jokes and tell the girl you want to get to know her and maybe take her out - make your intentions clear

  5. Profit.

I do not understand why do people act like it's hard to get a date? If you're decent looking girls will date you, no mind tricks are needed. If you're shooting way above your league there's no certain way of knowing where will it lead you. Most likely nothing you say will help as looks and attitude are the only things that matter when first meeting a girl.

Stop overthinking and overanalyzing everything. No guy is the same, no woman is the same. No situation is the same.

Be simple and make yourself look like a decent human. You will prosper.

Geez.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with this but for some guys they've never done any of it. A guy who reads a post about how to increase physical contact is going to do better on a date than the guy who doesn't know how important touch is.

It's all relative. Also - we've all seen some truly autistic guys who clearly have no idea what they are doing on a date - posts like this help individuals avoid being that autistic mess.

[–]MCommandant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, but it also doesn't come naturally to me. You know, like how some people have to study more music theory to understand what's going on, while others just get it.

You're one of the talented musicians, mayhap. Posts like OP's are still helpful.

[–]juliusstreicher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, that #2...just how firm IS that rule?

[–]Snazzy_Serval 1 point2 points  (3 children)

More often than not, women don't know I'm hitting on them. I compliment them on their jewelry, style etc. and they just say thank you. From what I've heard it's that women naturally don't see me as a "sexual threat" because I'm short. So how can I flirt more directly and openly get my intentions across?

The big mistake that most guys make is to try to hide their interest in a woman, and hide their sexuality in the process. This is what kills attraction for women because they sense a man who is not in harmony with himself. He will seem like he's trying to be deceptive, even when he's doing what he thinks the woman wants.

When you try to keep your sexual interest hidden, she will also sense that you've got a hidden agenda.

What should guys be doing instead?

[–]SetConsumes 4 points5 points  (2 children)

More often than not, women don't know I'm hitting on them. I compliment them on their jewelry, style etc. and they just say thank you. From what I've heard it's that women naturally don't see me as a "sexual threat" because I'm short. So how can I flirt more directly and openly get my intentions across?

Be more sexual. Check them out more obviously. Utilize kino. Try to bring up more personal and intimate/sexual topics(without being too personal).

I try to touch them organically asap, arms typically. Sends the message immediately that I'm seeing her sexually and not just as friends.

The big mistake that most guys make is to try to hide their interest in a woman, and hide their sexuality in the process. This is what kills attraction for women because they sense a man who is not in harmony with himself. He will seem like he's trying to be deceptive, even when he's doing what he thinks the woman wants.

When you try to keep your sexual interest hidden, she will also sense that you've got a hidden agenda.

What should guys be doing instead?

Aside from what I mentioned above, her seeing you checking out other women and talking to other women, flirting with other women, also helps her see you sexually. This is obviously very situation dependent and easier to do in groups or party/show/festival settings.

Part of it is attitude too, my energy is rather sexualized and dominant in general.

For shorter men especially, having a highly dominant attitude goes a long way.

[–]Snazzy_Serval 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the tips.

Be more obvious when looking at them. Kino right away.

Part of it is attitude too, my energy is rather sexualized and dominant in general.

For shorter men especially, having a highly dominant attitude goes a long way.

That's definitely an area I'm lacking. I don't exude sexuality. And no I am absolutely don't have a dominant attitude. That's just not how my personality is. Odds are that is a big reason why women aren't interested in me.

[–]SetConsumes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips.

Be more obvious when looking at them. Kino right away.

Part of it is attitude too, my energy is rather sexualized and dominant in general.

For shorter men especially, having a highly dominant attitude goes a long way.

That's definitely an area I'm lacking. I don't exude sexuality. And no I am absolutely don't have a dominant attitude. That's just not how my personality is. Odds are that is a big reason why women aren't interested in me.

Cultivate your dominance in a way that works for you. You identify as a serval, so make women your prey for example. If you haven't already reduced women to sex objects for the most part, work on it.

Deluding yourself some to see yourself as more superior and powerful is also useful, for example I've always equated myself with some God(belief or not is irrelevant if the God has meaning to you), since the age of 8 perhaps. Superheroes and other above human icons work too.

Find your strengths, use it to play yourself up and boost your confidence and feeling of superiority over others.

A lot of dominance and attitude revolves around beliefs. Beliefs are incredibly powerful.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mistake #6 is classic Nice Guy. Something I've had the most trouble with.

[–]hahayeahthatscool 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ideally you would link to your OP.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Can you directly link posts or do I need to archive?

[–]SirByron 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Mistake # 1 - Not Negging in a way that resonates

Negging is the MOST DIFFICULT and most subtle art. The power of negging comes from the same power as bad news has - a neutral alerting of something that is going wrong.

It should never be tried unless you have established credibility first. I won't try it until 1 hour in. And then I have even given her quizzes, riddles, on the spot common sense questions...that prove she isn't that smart or needs to "read more".

I dont deflate her, I humble her. Continue with a lot of positive vibes...then do it after half an hour again. Push-pull, vibe-neg all organically woven in a genuine fabric of authenticity.

The goal is not to neg. The goal is to prove she is flawed yet I have hope in her. I become her anchor of neutral opinion of herself, given without prejudice.

It is actually easy if you don't have an agenda....and are honest.

"The best art always hides the art"

[–]SetConsumes 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I imagine you look for opportunities as they come up naturally to neg as opposed to trying to force a neg to work?

[–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (2 children)

don't even look for opportunities, just make silly comments when they come to mind. don't even think of it as a neg cuz the pua community took a dump on the term.

[–]SetConsumes 0 points1 point  (1 child)

don't even look for opportunities, just make silly comments when they come to mind. don't even think of it as a neg cuz the pua community took a dump on the term.

Yeah neg has a harsher connotation to it than simply make fun of her when you want to.

[–]aanarchist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you come into it with the intention of you're having fun. when someone else negs you (or shit test if you wanna consider it that), you consider it to be the same. i don't like when people neg me or shit test me that's just how i am, but unless they're blatantly going out of their way to insult me i'll just feign hurt feelings like noooooooooooe y u do this :( it's like meeting that part of me that wants to fight them half way rofl. agree and amplify is your god, just relax, focus on yourself, have a good time. if someone's being a salty bitch that's their thing, not yours. you can actually make people feel bad about themselves by just redirecting their own negative energy back at them. a lot of the time people try to like project their own feelbads on you so that they don't have to hold it in themselves, that's pretty much toxicity in a nutshell is instead of maturely dealing with their emotions and working on changing themselves they try to pass off their poison to someone else. don't have any of that nonsense, you don't want that and you don't need it. they'll be forced to either self destruct(loss of frame=ostracism), or maintain their image by apologizing for acting like a bitch and you can shake hands and continue to have a good time.

[–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's like you're not trying to hurt her feelings, you're just poking some fun to make both of you laugh.

[–]apelican 1 points1 points [recovered]

can you elaborate on the "not knowing where she stands" bit? i recently had a girl tell me that she doesn't know how she feels about me; i make her feel two extremes of emotion. on one hand, she said sometimes she really really is into me, but other times (because of asshole behavior) she wants nothing to do with me and hates me.

just looking for some elaboration or insight regarding this point.

[–]SetConsumes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not knowing where she stands means she doesn't know how the man feels about her. When she's trying to impress you and make you like her, things are going well. If she already knows she has you hooked, she doesn't need to try and impress you or make you like her.

[–]jab1023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always wonder what they think the hidden agenda is. Like: Maybe he's just looking for...what exactly? I think for the most part women do know when a man is into them, but they hamster it to pretend they don't because "women don't pursue™."

So even if she did like you, if you don't move fast...it ain't happening.

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if she knows you want to fuck her, won't she refuse it to you until she decides when it's the right time?

Got some LMR today, and didn't want to try more to fuck her. So I just layed in bed we did some cuddles and she left for work half an hour later. She asked me if I want to have sex with her and I said "I don't really care, whenever I'd like to" .

Truth is I am spinning a few plates and I really dgaf if I don't funk her. But how could I fuck on the first date?

A mutual friend made the acquaintance , good vibes overall and I also realised my game is mediocre and I only fuck because of my looks (Am working on improving my game lately, god bless appearance or I'd be a fking virgin). We were 4 people including us, the other couple left and left us alone. Chat a bit more and headed to house, told her to come up we chilled on TV and made out. Told her to relax in the bed cause it is more comfy. She said it wasn't in the plans to make out, I said ok and smiled. Tried to make her a bit horny but failed cause low effort from me. First time I get serious LMR from the last 10-15 fucks I had.

She left and said how are we gonna communicate you really don't care right? I said I will send a carrier pigeon and she sighed. She said you are the man, and I said you wanna keep the traditional pretext? I will come grab a coffee in the morning(she works at a cafe).

I could have played it a bit less cocky at some instances and also should have cuddled less but I think I can spin her easily . "Sad" thing she lives literally 1 minute next to me and 2 plates are coming in the next couple weeks probably. Will be really funny. When we were talking before the house I got 2 messages from 2 chicks and closed mobile data instantly and she asked who were they and show me, and I said you wanna play this game; why don't you show me your messenger. She said she has nothing to hide and I laughed it off. Sorry for wall of text and I know this isn't asktrp

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not to necro this, but does anyone know if OP is a guy or girl?

[–]cece1978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so why would a guy talk about random strangers and say that he thinks theyre cute or pretty? is it a game? im a girl and wondering why mu crush is doing that.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]