Got the courage to approach in public

Dio_Brando_Joestar · 2016-09-10T20:57:53+00:00

I've had nights where my energy is so on-point and every encounter is just smooth as fuck and I feel like a king.

I'm usually a little tipsy at this point.

suske127 · 2016-09-10T19:07:37+00:00

"but last night I felt like a natural with how in the moment I was"

This is largely a presence thing. You read a lot about meditation on TRP and, this is why. It helps you feel in the moment like that. Helps you slay when you want to slay.

Happy to hear how successful you are, brother! Keep it up hopefully you stay in contact with that cutie and pull in a couple more while you're at it (if that's what your goal is to do)

hey_dingus · 2016-09-10T20:46:07+00:00

Nice work man. Love those nights where things just go so smoothly and you feel like the fucking man. Keep it up! That's also pretty awesome you were able to befriend those guys and share a beer even though they came on to you with that mate guarding aggressive bullshit. Guess it's natural to be that way though.

wiseprogressivethink · 2016-09-11T03:37:25+00:00

Related pointer:

If you're in a group of people who are all new to each other (think first day of classes at college), everyone will be apprehensive. It's human nature. But if you go into that very first day with some social confidence and gregariousness, you sort of instantly become a leader, an alpha by default. Introduce yourself to others, volunteer your comments, etc. Other people (both male and female) will sort of begin to look up to you.

First impressions matter, and you only get one shot at it.

Now, remember this tidbit every time you do an approach in public. Same shit applies. Both parties will be a bit nervous, but by virtue of the fact that you were the one taking the initiative, you're already sort of "in charge." This doesn't mean every cold approach will be successful, but it certainly helps.

ChadJohnsonSnr · 2016-09-11T05:49:21+00:00

I came across an important concept yesterday called Social Momentum.

I had a shit night out in Slovakia on Friday. Some dudes around me were vibing hard, while I was completely in my head and unable to let go. Gorgeous women, new country, good company, but still stood like a cuck while others chatted up the ladies.

In the morning I sat and reviewed my homegrown shitshow, wondering why sometimes I can be completely in the zone, and sometimes not. This concept of social momentum explained it well for me. My lead up to the night consisted of very little social interaction, and small little resistive actions. Not vibing with my company, not being chatty with bar staff, going to the toliet when I get my first IOI of the night. If you do start your early evening off with many light social interactions, you shift your mindset to a more positive one and you remove any instinctual anxiety you have about approaching people. This sets you up for smoother interactions during prime gaming time.

Im going to be more concious of this in the future and cut out low vibration chode nights from my adventures.

TermsOfColors · 2016-09-10T21:53:44+00:00

How old are you?

I honestly don't understand why anyone under 30 would resort to online dating.

I spent a lot of time in the bars and clubs and party circuit when I was in my twenties. That was before everyone had their nose in a smart phone though. It was easy. Who cares if you get shot down in flames anyway? Everyone is drunk, it's loud and crowded, and no one barely notices anyway (unless you are a stand-out creeper). I didn't pull every girl I talked to but I was never lacking for a date or a girlfriend and basically had several options at any one time.

Point is, there's no reason why you or any of the guys on here can't do this every weekend if you actually go out. Try a few different places. If you go out with a big group of guys make sure you split up and work the club, don't be like a gang of rapists crowding around a couple of girls. And if you go out alone, which I rarely did unless I was on the road, make sure you start talking to people right away and don't hide away in the corner like the village creeper.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2016-09-11T06:04:54+00:00

Not gonna lie, reading your post made me feel old, and I'm only 26. I had no idea what HB8 meant before looking it up on urban dictionary, and I still don't know what IOI's are. But besides that, congrats man. You found your rhythm. You did it without needing Liquid Courage too.

Toker95 · 2016-09-11T07:04:23+00:00

Did you go by yourself, if so respect. Nonetheless gj

S8600E56 · 2016-09-11T23:01:16+00:00

And all it took was opening to anyone, a random dude, an old person, doesn't matter. From there, keep your momentum going and don't look back. This method has changed my life. If only I knew it was this easy I would have been a social butterfly years ago.

aRedThought · 2016-09-11T18:15:49+00:00

Not a neurological expert but I'm pretty sure a core concept behind learning is that humans have to create neural pathways through experience. If you are a naturally introverted anxious person (such as myself) the only way to get out of that is to go out do what the OP did.

You have to get out of your comfort zone and talk to everyone. Doing this builds those new neural pathways and breaks you out of your mold.

DDOS_Feeler · 2016-09-11T19:53:28+00:00

Just jump in there with "as if you never want to regret about anything in life anymore" confidence and you will be fine.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-09-12T15:12:43+00:00

The problem with guys that cold approach, try PUA or anything comparable is that they don't own it. It's not their thing, they do it out of obligation. When you do something you have to own it.

Approaching is effective for Chad because it comes natural to him. His techniques and openers really don't matter. It's simply his thing, success is a byproduct. He can't help himself, it's his special move. If you are trying to get 'good at approaching' you are doing it wrong. Because you aren't owning it.

Whenever I attempted to get good at something things always went down two different ways. Either I kept forcing the issue while getting increasingly frustrated at my lack of skill. Or I simply enjoyed the activity so much that eventually poof I became good at it. Seemingly overnight, any skill increase after that was just part of the deal.

I know guys with the most ridiculous hobbies or interests and they are still getting poon because they own it. I guess this is why Spergs are so incredibly unsuccessful with girls even after finding TRP. They read the posts and take everything so literal that they're missing the point entirely.

I can't stress this enough, approaching will never get you great results if you approach (pun intended, kek) things from the wrong angle.

TehJimmyy · 2016-09-11T10:01:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing with us approachers with anxiety. Personal question tho ? Have you been on NoFap ? If you dont know what it is no need to answer.

jtmazari · 2016-09-15T12:34:24+00:00

Great post! can totally relate. I'm 20 years old and I have only gotten super drunk once.. it was a terrible decision, I was being such a nut and the morning after was terrible. I keep it cheap now, take a shot of whiskey at home and have one drink at the bar. I also hype myself up in the car with loud ass music. I've been taking small Xanax tabs with some caffeine and I feel super cool, clam , relaxed and energized. Perfect for game

[deleted] · 2016-09-10T18:29:44+00:00

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StreetMailbox · 2016-09-11T00:12:39+00:00

This post, and this subreddit, are pathetic, straight up.

EDIT: Treat human adults like human adults. Don't judge people as "bros." Don't be worried about appearing "thirsty." Don't act nice and disinterested; be genuinely nice if you're nice, and show interest if you're interested. This whole philosophy of pretending to be someone you're not in order to trick people long enough for them to talk to you is insane and, yes, pathetic.