Red Pill TheoryHoes Can't bring You Happiness (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1The_BitterTruth

Intro: Any man that has gone through a dry spell knows the pain of not having his sexual needs met. If someone were to hold our head underwater the only thing we would be able to think about would be getting that next breath of air, when we're starved for sex we can feel just as desperate and narrow minded. Overindulging on sex can leave us feeling just as empty.

Eat to live, not Live to Eat: Just as a man can be a glutton in regards to what he eats, a man can also be a glutton in terms of his sexual appetite. Gluttons don't consume to satisfy a need, they consume to fill a hole within themselves. No amount of hamburgers or hoes can ever fill that void.

Don't let women be your source of validation: If we've been living without something for so long, it's normal to feel like our life has been lacking something. Unfortunately basing our self worth of something as shallow as how many women we fuck (or don't) leaves us searching for approval and acceptance we will never attain. True approval and acceptance can only come from within, along with basing our self worth internally vs externally. If you've committed your worth to fucking women then you can no longer have sex with women because you want to; Once you've attached your self worth to your sexual interactions with a woman, you must have sex with her to satisfy your Ego, not your Libido.

Enjoy what women have to offer, but don't make them your purpose: A man has so much to offer then the women he is dating at the moment. Centering one's life around women can only reduce a man to a shallow, empty facade. Bring women into your life, enjoy them, but understand you have a greater purpose in life then putting your meat stick in her sock puppet. You are capable of that and so much more. To settle for just banging tons of hoes would be a waste of your beautiful, blossoming potential.

Thanks for the read and good luck on your journey brothers.

[–]chasethecake 154 points155 points  (18 children)

True happiness comes from your accomplishments and exclusively from yourself.

[–]KenMastersMD 114 points115 points  (4 children)

Growing up, my father always told me to compare myself to myself. Happiness comes from setting a goal and shattering it. Unhappiness comes from trying to accomplish someone else's goal.

[–]Uzinero 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a really great quote, I think that's one of the simplest yet most concise ways I've heard that idea put.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Unhappiness comes from trying to accomplish someone else's goal.

Although it needs to be clarified that women are ONLY capable of experiencing happiness from trying to accomplish goals as support players. A woman's goal is only meritorious if it involves subordination to a strong partner's vision and direction.

[–]LarParWar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So? Let them play a support role. Make them play a support role. They need it; you could use it.

[–]bearslikeham 16 points16 points [recovered]

Success is being better than your former self.

[–]FreeRadical5 8 points9 points  (3 children)

This is going to be an unpopular opinion but in my experience (and after leading a very accomplished life), accomplishments have very little to do with happiness. Often the unhappiest people are the most accomplished. Happiness comes from reality being better than expectations.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Happiness comes from reality being better than expectations

So damn true. Absolute truth, actually.

But how does one mitigate expectations in a genuine way where you're not just trying to fool yourself. I mean if I went into the gym every day and said I hope to bench 100 pounds today, I would be pretty excited knowing I can get that with no effort. I change that number to 315 (a more realistic expectation) and don't get it, then I'm bummed.

It really sucks when a realistic expectation is not met. Should we even stop having realistic expectations?

Serious question.

[–]FreeRadical5 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Very good question. If you could stop having even realistic expectations, that would be quickest way to euphoria.

Personally, I've found that near impossible to do. The brain very quickly gets used to reality and adjust expectations upwards. However accepting reality as it is and keeping expectations in line, is completely possible and in fact self reinforcing. That includes accepting the failures, the shortages, the desires as well as the accomplishments. This leads to a very fulfilled and content state. Any negative emotions are very transitory and short lived.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. But when realistic expectations aren't met, it seems to hurt much worse.

[–]BlxckTxpes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed, I decided to focus on myself and restoring a 74 vw bus I recently bought. Putting my focus into something important to me rather than hunt for scalawags.

[–]stay_anon_stay_safe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

caveat: wooing a girl is an accomplishment (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

[–]newbie3hunna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True happiness isn't caused by anything.

[–]idontwanttostart 4 points5 points  (1 child)

But also from putting it in her bunghole. Let's not forget the bunghole folks....

[–]thehonestdouchebag 60 points61 points  (4 children)

This is a good point that a lot of people on here tend to forgot/ignore. At the end of the day, you can't achieve true happiness just by fucking a lot of easy women. Happiness comes from your achievements/view of the world. Don't let yourself be a slave to anything/anyone. Whether it be alcohol, women, material possessions etc. Don't become a slave to any of them, don't let any of them achieve mastery over you. A balanced life is a happy life, once you start denying yourself some pleasures and building up discipline you'll see how little you actually need to be truly happy.

Happiness is different for everyone, for myself, I work to achieve freedom/financial independence in the future. I don't want a golden cage where I have to work most of my life for the rest of my life to pay off new cars/new tvs etc. I think a lot of people on the RP would benefit from reading more philosophy, from meditations to Buddhist writings. Work on your mind/spirit just as you work on your body.

[–]camenossaber 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Great post. Thanks for your honesty, douchebag.

[–]nlightin 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I'm confused by this response, but here's an upvote

[–]SebastianMosley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's his username he's referencing

[–]DirtyProject0r 43 points44 points  (1 child)

I recently had a dry spell of a couple of months and was eager for sex. So at some point a friend of mine sets up a date with a girl who was desperate as well for sex. We fucked and I felt great.

For a whopping 15 minutes.

As I drove home "the rush" was completely gone and I felt exactly the same as before I fucked her. It depressed me at first that even fucking this girl could not get me into a state of happiness. Then I realized that there was more reason to focus my attention on my mission to become man I want to be instead of making sure I am fucking a shit ton of girls every month. Most importantly, I realized I could become happy on my own.

[–]Hakametal 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Always remember:

A good woman will support you on your path. A bad woman will put chains on you and hold you back.

[–][deleted] 37 points37 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Fucking randoms off tinder was one of the emptiest things I've done in my life

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually can agree. I had one great woman who we fucked great and it was awesome. We were fuck buddies for a while. Unfortunately, she had to leave to go back to Brazil.

The other two that I fucked didn't look like they did in pictures and it wasn't great. I'm really not into tinder or any other online dating sites anymore.

Just focusing on myself and my career at the moment.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the reminder. It comes at a particularly opportune moment for me. I've been using my plates to fill an emotional hole and at the moment, my plates have let me down and that hole is swallowing me. Ugh...back to meditation and self inspection.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to hear you're figuring things out, I hope this post helps brother.

[–]1whatsazipper 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Overindulging on sex puts you in the position of the minority of men. It's a better problem to have than the common case, and one easy to solve.

[–]Unholy_VI 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Like these guys said, to a point. After that it's ridiculous.

You don't improve your social network from fucking some chick. You don't increase your wealth, your ability to earn more wealth, you DO get a confidence boost but only from occasional fucking. Just fucking to be fucking leaves me feeling empty and depleted after a while.

and more importantly it takes time and energy that can both be used for other more fulfilling things. Now if your libido is so high that you need to get laid three times a week by three different chicks to satisfy it then by all means do so. But yeah once you're satisfied and not feeling that desire to fuck based on physicality more sex isn't really going be more than a somewhat fun passtime.

[–]1whatsazipper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure, but let's face it, it's not a problem for men in general. The majority trends toward lacking a fulfilling sex life. I agree that you shouldn't build your life around it but it's also a pretty fundamental part of being a man and having a high sex drive.

Sex becomes a focal point of happiness for men because the lack thereof is causing misery, and because regular sex is a part of having an enjoyable life.

If you really do find yourself in the position that you're devoting too much time to sex, then it's quite possibly the easiest problem to solve.

[–]MacNulty 19 points20 points  (14 children)

Look. It's like this. Consider the difference between these two sentences: "can I get a kiss from you?" and "I'll give you a kiss".

Got it?

Almost everybody loves to be given stuff, especially kisses. Conversely, nobody loves to be asked to do things. If somebody doesn't want what you have, there is no point fighting reality.

So why the hell are you still asking yourself how to GET something?

The biggest shift in consciousness you can make is to stop asking what you can GET from the world and start asking how you can serve others, and a whole new world will open to you.

It's not a beta mindset. It's the closest thing you can have to magic. You want to be a lover? Perfect - you can look upon your hookups as service to women who want pleasure, and those who want that will find you. Win-win. You can be an inventor, businessman, an artist or a leader. Almost anything is fair game if you're not trying to 1up on the universe, by trying to get something from it first because the world doesn't care about your wants.

Ask your elders, the biggest tragedy for them is usually not having or getting less - it's becoming useless to others.

[–]hownao 2 points3 points  (5 children)

human nature is to feel important

[–]MacNulty 2 points3 points  (4 children)

That's not a universal characteristic at all. Human nature is primarily to learn by experiencing and there's also a lot to say here about perception, pattern seeking and filtering information - in general, there is too much information out there for us to be consciously be aware of, so we selectively focus on information which we think is important and the rest is swept under the carpet. Perhaps you aim to be an important person so you see this highlighted in others but it doesn't mean that they operate with the same set of beliefs - "We see things as we are, not as they are".

[–]yarow12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 in general, there is too much information out there for us to be consciously be aware of, so we selectively focus on information which we think is important and the rest is swept under the carpet. 

This is definitely true in dating, friendship, and employment. Unfortunately, I've found that people often prioritize the less valuable characteristics and belittle those that a true gold. The frustrating part is "competing" with the less valuable fuckers with their well-tailored suit and silver tongue, especially in the job market.

[–]hownao 0 points1 point  (2 children)

ok. if nothing was important to you, why stay alive?

[–]MacNulty 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I see a distinction between seeing something as important and feeling oneself important. One leads you on a path of achievement, the other on a path of pretentiousness.

[–]RobertCarraway 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Lester: McNulty has a theory...

Bunk: Does he now?

Lester: You deductive motherfucker, you.

I've heard all this shit before, MacNulty. But for some reason this hit home hard. In all the areas I have tried to take from the world - it's been like pulling water from a rock. But as soon as you try to give to the world you do feel like something unique happens.

I appreciate this thought way more than all the bullshit navel gazing that has been going on as the men on this sub wade through nihilism in their own lives.

Ask your elders, the biggest tragedy for them is usually not having or getting less - it's becoming useless to others.

You obviously have not met my Nana.

[–]MacNulty 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Thank you for writing this, I'm deeply humbled that my words spoke to you. It's a lesson I learned the hard way unfortunately.

If you're hungry, you don't ask for food so you can go hunt. If you want muscles, you don't ask for strength so that you can lift some weights.

Once I started realizing this, I saw the true meaning of the desert of the real: we live in a world exploited by people who want to get something from it, and they get away with it, but they can't seem to figure out why they're so unhappy, even though it's staring them right in the face.

The movie Matrix was actually about a kid who changed into a hero under the influence of a woman he loved and gave his own life to stop the war. Although he was led into believing he was the One, ultimately HE made the choice. A beautiful example for both men AND women to look up to: a couple making the highest sacrifice for the highest purpose.

If only humanity had a point of reference to a relationship like this, the matrix would literally reboot, instead it's full of Smiths who just want more and more power.

You can go very deep with this analogy, it boggles my mind that with all the smart people we have on earth we still do stupid shit like mining.

[–]RobertCarraway 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Ok, you're losing me MacNulty. But perhaps you can enlighten me.

If only humanity had a point of reference to a relationship like this, the matrix would literally reboot, instead it's full of Smiths who just want more and more power.

Now -you're in TRP, where we specialize in acknowledging often unpleasant truth. You realize, of course, that every single living thing is a Smith, right? This game is a power game. Even if you opt out, or make some shining example of defiance, you're still just reacting to a game that was here before you and will remain long after you depart.

There are ways to orchestrate win-win scenarios. Ways to give something to God - an offering you could call it. For example I tend to mess with people. I figure if we are all manifestations of God and we have eternity to "be" then we might as well make things interesting. But God is eternally in conflict with himself. And this just is.

Neo gives his life while Smith multiplies himself. In the end what program will be left? Smith. There is no escaping the necessity of self interest.

[–]MacNulty 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Life is not a game, it's a circle. Things are born, they live and then they die. Nothing is permanent. It's only become a game because humans can see the circle for what it is, and decided to turn that into a game of life with the hope that some day they will collectively come up with a way to 1up on the universe and win the game (even though they themselves created the game). We just cannot accept the cycle of life and death so we created an entire system based on assurance and extension of living.

Now, if you get really deep into human behavior, the truth is that everything people do is actually driven by the need for love and connection, everything is just an extension of that. To experience what we had (or did not have) while we were little kids - unconditional love of a rational mind of a father and irrational heart of a mother. Life is a quest for wholeness. A love in which we were made free but that freedom was conditioned out of us, and we've become conditioned by society that we have to earn it.

So on the basis of that conditional love we establish conditional systems and codes of conduct and then hypnotize ourselves that it's all there is to life - some people even get very serious about this game, and are ready to die for their ideas about the market, the economy, the government or the history of their country - their identity is so attached to their beliefs that they would literally rather die than change their mind.

Yet there's always a handful of people who reject the system by thinking completely freely - artists, poets, writers, philosophers. They just have fun with their imagination and life, like kids do. They inspire others that something is not right and that we are all being lied to. They plant an idea in our heads that we are not free and can be free like them. And that's why more and more people demand truth and the resistance and the dissatisfaction keeps growing.

We're living in times of abundance of everything, especially information. This has planted a dream that anyone can know the truth and anyone can be free from the system, whatever the system is. That we don't have to rely on schematic thinking anymore - so there's obviously a yearning for something new, for a revolution. We want to free our minds and bodies and spirits from bondage just like our minds are free in the Internet where all ages and races blend into anonymous hive.

We are only like Smiths when we think the only way to be free is by having more money, more power, or more likes on Facebook, because that is how you get connections in the system that's been put in place. We all focus on progress - the machine which we created and forgot that it's putting a strain on everyone's life. So we rage against it but we work for it so that we can have an illusion of being free with money and fame. The tail is wagging the dog, the cart is being pulled before the horse. You really have no way of checking out of this game even if you really want.

So the problem with humanity is that we have a messiah complex. The system needs a sacrificial lamb (a messiah) who escapes the system entirely, and then becomes one with the system - he has a connection to source which equals the sum of all people living in the Matrix. That's why Neo is able to withstand the pressure of an entire army of Smiths, but he cannot win.

Now, Smith by copying himself over Neo can experience what he was really yearning for all this time, something he didn't know how to GET - that deep love and connection to the source, genuine, intimate and purposeful connection between a man and a woman. He finally "gets" what it means to "give" - he is now in possession of the gift of life. So Neo was a point of reference for what everybody is really yearning for - the meaning of life, the experience of totality, wholeness - and Smith was a network of distribution of that to all people in the Matrix. Progress and search can stop when everyone has realized the truth - that the only way to become "immortal" is not to spend one's entire life working for the system which searches for immortality but that it's actually love and mortality that is the key to being free from the system and living one's life.

[–]RobertCarraway 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I see value in your words, but I have one major objection

Life is not a game, it's a circle..It's only become a game because humans can see the circle for what it is

Life can be both a game and a circle. When creatures compete through evolution, this is the game. This is hardly an opinion - I assume that you are onboard with evolution and can appreciate this.

We obviously did not create evolution. You give us too much credit. Nature is red in tooth and claw.

[–]MacNulty 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The paradox of this "game" is that nobody wins: everyone dies at the end. We'd like to believe in technology which could extend our lives forever but somehow we never think how miserable that existence would be, considering our current emotional maturity. So, life is what you make it out to be and if you consider the "long" game, which extends after you die, and you want to see more liars in it, by all means be a liar... You want to see more haters, be a hater... But if you want nicer people and successful relationships, built by men and women who support each other, see how you can work on that. The big problem I see in TRP is that they often dismiss the idea of building loving and supportive relationships entirely. They actually choose to see a world of plates and shittests but they consider themselves "woken up", even though they are actually participating in creating more of the same. It's a complex problem of course, and seeing how fast things are changing these days, I feel humanity is too far gone and nature might have to restore balance at our own expense...

[–]RobertCarraway 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The paradox of this "game" is that nobody wins: everyone dies at the end

This is a non-sequitur. Just because everyone dies does not mean that no one wins. There are clear winners and losers. It is no coincidence that people tend to feel good about themselves if they expand their power, mate well, and produce healthy children.

So what does this mean to us? NOTHING. Life cannot be weighed by the living. The same goes for THE GAME, since this is intricately bound to life itself. One could say that each is an expression of the other.

I won't say that the game is good, it just is. And I similarly reject any judgement that the game is bad.

The big problem I see in TRP is that they often dismiss the idea of building loving and supportive relationships entirely.

This I 100% agree with, and it's where we overlap. TRP is a reaction. The good news is that the men and ideas on the forum are maturing at lightning speed. It's dramatically different than it was just three or four years ago. It will improve.

[–]MacNulty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not a non-sequitur if you take a higher perspective on things. One poor person might have led an extremely joyful life, filled with fantastic and loyal friends. Another might have had crazy adventures instead. And someone else might have gained lots power but died bitter and hated by people. It's hard to put anyone on the podium, because it's neither white or black, it's not even the shade between, if anything it's more like a wave of a certain frequency... And the game is always changing so someone who was considered a winner might be later considered a loser. It's a tragicomedy - comedy for those who think and tragedy for those who feel ;-) In terms of historical impact, some of the biggest "winners" might have had no children, perhaps even no power while they were alive, yet left an enormous legacy: legendary inventions, books, artwork, etc.

In a world where we are all globally connected, relatively abundant in food, technology and information the biggest shift humanity could make is towards responsible and selfless service for benefit of the whole. And that actually means men serving women as much as women serving men. There really isn't much to win in terms of personal interest any more, the biggest winners are now those who can serve the biggest crowds. The last thing to conquer in terms of "power" are the minds of everyone on the planet and that's why governments and corporations are trying to take over the Internet. Would that be beneficial for humanity? Even ordinary people are starting to use psychology tricks to shove shit into each other faces because they know other's will eat it (and then they complain that our planet smells bad). In the grand scheme of things, it's lack of responsibility. I don't think we are ready for the advancements in technology that are coming.

Yes, I agree that TRP is a reaction. It's also very reactionary in its philosophy and there's a huge difference between reacting and responding and we need more people who take responsibility for their emotions, not more people who dismiss them.

BTW if you are interested in love and relationships then you might want to check out the works of Peter Sage.

[–]Areu4realm8 6 points7 points  (0 children)

there is no happines. hapiness means long term, and our mental state and life changes every hour. happiness , just like the love is bluepill.

[–]smokebloom 2 points2 points [recovered]

I know this in my head, but I do not know this in my heart.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It takes time to truly internalize something. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

[–]stay_anon_stay_safe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The caveat is that being an INCEL is easily a one-way ticket into depression, it's not about "how many" women you fuck, it's about missing that bond that comes from having sex, at all. It could be compared to having no social life, which even though is not necessary to stay alive, can be as essential to your mind as eating is to your body

[–]marplaneit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much all of my friends. Fucking girls even if they don't feel like doing it. Wasting energy, and time on chasing woman., While they should be lifting, studying and improving

[–]Krunjar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it can boil down to this, as well: If you MUST do anything pleasurable, not just for the pleasure of it, but because it "MUST" be done for some thought out reason, then you're not going to enjoy it as much.

Of course sometimes you must get a job, and you might enjoy it. But talking purely about pleasurable things.

If you "MUST" drive a ferrari for the day, instead of just enjoying the moment, you're sort of ticking off a checklist all day, and the moment passes you by. People do this all the time, get an expensive car and feel hollow, because in a way they don't know how to enjoy it.

Same with fucking, if you're in your head, not only can it be boring, but your performance can suffer, so you might not even get it up! If you're thinking "I must do this!", you're putting a huge amount of pressure on yourself.

Maybe its right to say that it should "feel" as though you must do it, like a primal urge, rather than "thinking" that you must do it. Its like being shallow where you should be shallow, instead of over-complicating it and making things more meaningful and deeper than they really are.

[–]Expectations1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tbh like patrice o neal said, men have had to work hard to better themselves unlike women. Most women have no clue what they are doing, there are the occasional women who are amazing, but few and far between most women would prefer some guy to take care of them long term

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hoes can't bring you happiness because hoes are never happy...

[–]1StoicCrane 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hoes can't give you happiness but they can give you herpes. Fulfillment is derived from what you make not what others take.

[–]themysteriousgeeza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. Having recently come out of a dry spell where things on the female front have been good for the past month or so, I can honestly say that I seriously over estimated what I was lacking in my life when in the dry spell. Don't get me wrong I'm having a great time, but it hasn't now suddenly made me happier or more confident, I think feeling those things within myself allowed me to become generally more attractive and now I'm exuding that without trying. Never forget that you are just as much a catch as a beautiful woman, if not more, because you are a beautiful person.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately basing our self worth of something as shallow as how many women we fuck (or don't) leaves us searching for approval and acceptance we will never attain.

What about basing our self-worth, and women's, on how many men they have fucked before us?

[–]TrumpBull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100%, teredpill should embrace the practice of Stoicism. There are many free courses and blogs. Just as a warning like everything in life, you won't see immediate change, but then that day comes when you speak openly and honestly with someone without worrying what they think about you, and you get a big smile on your face when you reflect before bed what just happened.

Another fair warning, the ethics of stoicism are weak in my mind. If you want the same information in only an attitude/frame of mind perspective then CBT may be the route. CBY makes you a stoic, but not a Stoic (capital s, meaning you follow the whole philosophy)

Also, like all current philosophy it is infected with feminist and anti-patriarchy undertones. But, I think the philosophy has huge upsides if theredpill influences it. The current leaders, don't appreciate the military side of the philosophy. Marcus Aurelius would be a complete bad ass by today's standards, and is one of the most renowned stoics. While unfortunately most current stoics, to put it bluntly, are pussies and sympathizers to SJWs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome post Op. Guys are out here chasing hos. IM telling you chasing money and personal accomplishments is where its at. Bitches will come.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wish women themselves would follow this advice. So much drama and misery could be spared

[–]Worst_Patch1 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)



There isn't a single successful man in a successful long term relationship who believes in TRP.

All you people here are beta virgins who use your hatred of women doing what they want, to get yourselves to do anything.

[–]cs_throwawayyy -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Hoes are just accessories. Money is happiness