Rant/Venting"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by pointguard2534

I just got back from work and had a conversation at lunch that made me think of TRP. I'm a guy in my mid 20's, and most of my coworkers are either married or engaged. The remaining are usually in LTR's with only a few (me) not in an LTR. When the conversation of their SO's comes up, a few of my coworkers always seem to ask me my story, "are you married?" "do you have a girlfriend?" and when I say no to either question, it's like they've seen a ghost.

I discovered TRP about nine months ago, and since then I've been lifting like crazy, practicing pickup (i.e. having the balls to actually approach a girl, which I had never done in my life), working hard, managing my expenses better, and genuinely enjoying life. I've dated around, used Tinder, hooked up with rando's, which has been enjoyable, but I feel absolutely no need to have a specific woman in my life right now. Props to everyone who's married, in an LTR, whatever, I could care less what other people do. I'm focused on me and improving my quality of life, but it's almost like my coworkers are crabs in a bucket. Because I'm not married or in an LTR, they say "oh I have a friend who..." or "dang, that sucks man" or other things along that nature.

Don't let other people bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Pre-TRP me would have compared myself to these people, thinking that I'm somehow behind in life, less attractive than the married guys, whatever. Current-TRP me doesn't give a fuck what the others think about me, and I can tell you I'm much happier with life than I was nine months ago. I posted this to get some thoughts out, and also to see if other people have stories to weigh in on. Hopefully this can provide at least some value to somebody out there.

[–]WhyIsYosarionNaked 213 points214 points  (13 children)

They're just generic people making generic conversation. That's just the usual stuff that office people bullshit about. Don't put too much thought into it.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (11 children)

I have a coworker who spins plates, he says it like this (regarding a recent top plate he downgraded).

"well, for now we're just going to keep things casual. It just works better for us that way. That way I can do what I want to do, and she can do what she wants to do"

people generally accept that. He never uses redpill terminology. He is divorced so maybe people accept it better in that context, but I can't see the outcome being much different without his past

[–]WhyIsYosarionNaked 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I imagine that the divorce plays into people accepting that. It's important to remember that most people just auto pilot through life, just performing slight variations of what they've seen others do.

[–]Lsegundo 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The vast majority of sheeple are jelly fish. Without a backbone you can't swim against the current. They just fall inline and live life according to "the rules"

Good for OP for living life to make himself happy and giving zero fucks what the herd thinks about it.

[–]denverwind1 94 points95 points  (3 children)

I'm as single as a dollar bill and I'm not looking for change

[–]ministypill 115 points116 points  (12 children)

I am going to copy and paste a comment I posted few days ago.

Unless you know this girl from very young age, and she was not slutting around, otherwise:

The Women in the west who are caring, greet you up on arrival, small talk during the process, don't use sex as weapon, don't leverage sex through you, care about the truth, feminine, workout to keep body in good shape and don't divorce rape you with alimony,


[–]pointguard2534[S] 27 points28 points  (8 children)

Love it. Great comment, thanks for posting again.

Transactional sex doesn't sound like such a bad thing. You get sex, she leaves. Which is what most guys want out of a relationship, anyway. You can get companionship from a dog, or your bros.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Transactional sex

in TRP, this is in reference to the birthday blowjob, the "mowed the lawn" sex, and other things where you're a good provider beta, so she fucks you once a week or month. transactional sex has nothing to do with prostitution, and everything to do with beta provider status vs desire. a girl who wants to fuck you because of desire fucks you because of tingles. deep down, she wants it. she'll fuck you 5x a day, and have you cum on her face, and in her asshole, because she wants to be your dirty slut. they're two entirely different things.

prostitution is in its own class. while it is technically transactional sex, there's no charade involved. everyone knows the terms up front, and there's full transparency into the transaction.

[–]CanuckinFL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

remember the words of Charles Sheen: I pay them not for sex, I pay them to leave.

If your intention is to keep them around, studied indifference except when you're in each other's presence is the ONLY way. Otherwise, you need to open her up conversationally, or you don't hear about all the other bs. Over time, you won't hear about the other bs anyway. Familiarity breeds contempt. It's a human trait, not a female trait.

[–]jackandjill22 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I'm really glad you posted this.

[–]1mojo_juju 5 points6 points  (2 children)

that's an interesting way to think about it!

here's another, more simplified version:

they're all the prostitute.

[–]103342 311 points312 points  (107 children)

The problem I have with the current "model" for LTR is that the guy has to take so much shit by default.

He has to accept the past of his girlfriend, he has to accept her keeping contact with male "friends", accept her going out in places that people go to fuck (bars, clubs...) without you... etc. If you go against all of the bullshit you are a controlling, jealous, asshole.

Keeping things casual is just so much easier... I really think that if you aren't going into a LTR thinking in really long term, you are just paying a higher price for a cheap pussy. This is what happens most of the times, in my experience and looking into my circles of friends.

I get happy to see "happy" couples, it gives me some hope for the future of our society. But, if you look closely, you will probably find a ton of fucked up shit going on, its always like this. Unfortunately.

80% of girls are just not really "relationship material". There just isn't enough "good girls" (not damaged beyond repair) to go around. I'm fine with that tbh. I like slutty girls, I like casual sex and I also like to spend time alone.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (6 children)

Exactly this. Before TRP, I always felt left out due to never having a girlfriend, even though I've gotten laid a good amount of times and all that.

Then over time, I realized how much shit guys in relationships put up with. They literally have to ask for permission to do certain things. Not even something crazy like hanging out with an ex girlfriend or something like that. Simple things like going somewhere.

My parents sometimes tell me that I should find someone to settle down with, but I don't give a shit. I've seen just how unloyal and slutty many women are. Plus, they don't add value you can't get elsewhere.

I can definitely cook my own food and do my own laundry. For cleaning, I can clean myself or get professional cleaning service.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Before TRP, I always felt left out due to never having a girlfriend, even though I've gotten laid a good amount of times and all that.

That's what they want you to think about yourself. This train of thought makes you dependent on female validation, easy to commit and quickly made to slave away for the given commitment.

Men like that are profitable to women and alpha's. You were tricked by society.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I was tricked. Luckily I did find TRP. Honestly, it's funny because like I said, I used to feel left out. Now I feel bad at times for guys who are committed to women.

Two of the guys I live with have girlfriends and it's always funny sometimes hearing one of them ask for permission to do something. Or having to cater to her in certain ways and the thing is, they seem like good women. It's just how relationships are these days.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I used to feel left out. Now I feel bad at times for guys who are committed to women.

Same here man. I always had a gut feeling that guys in a committed relationship were suckers. Not all of them of course, some guys actually made a good deal. But the cognitive dissonance made it hard to have clarity. Nowadays I honestly feel nothing but contempt for the Beta and his low value Ho.

I've been single and I've been in a relationship and honestly I can vouch 100% for being single. Spinning plates is much easier on your sanity.

I also doubt these girlfriends of your friends are asking permission from their boyfriends. The tables have turned and now they are the ones going out there, playing the field while their hubbies sulk indoors.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly, not all men in relationships are suckers, but many are. When a woman flirts with a guy or cheats, it's empowering. When a guy does it, he's a scumbag.

I mean I don't think the girlfriends are cheating on my roommates and assuming they aren't, I have seen so many times where even when the relationship is good, the guy acts like a pussy around their girlfriend. Using a soft puppy voice and shit like that.

It makes no sense and is pathetic. I'm not spinning any plates currently and currently focusing on myself and it's so liberating to be able to do what I want, when I want. Unless the woman brings a lot of value to me, like cooking, doing my laundry, cleaning and emptying my balls, it wouldn't be worth it, given the added drama.

[–]Askada 2 points3 points  (1 child)

they don't add value you can't get elsewhere.

Exactly this. This is very important to understand.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Value women used to bring and some still do:

Cooking - I know how to cook damn good, healthy meals for my lunches and dinner and for really cheap per meal. I just buy meat, pasta, rice, (BBQ, pasta, teriyaki, etc.) sauces in bulk. Also buy veggies for my meals.

Cleaning - Do it myself or hire professional cleaning service

Laundry - I do that myself. Not hard and if it really is or I'm making more money, I could pay for it.

Sex - Find the services of an escort/prostitute when you are horny, if you have the money. Happy ending massage parlor as well. I don't fap or I've been trying to truly give it up, but if you must, don't do it a lot. Currently on a 9 day no fap streak. My best was 45 days no fap. Also hit on slutty girls if that's your thing. Even then, slutty girls aren't always a slam dunk.

Companionship - Get an awesome dog to play with, cuddle with, hang out and watch tv with, etc. Also have some good friends.

Oh yeah and if you do it right, you will be happier, have more free time and more money than people who are married.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 95 points96 points  (51 children)

Cool perspective. But you're right, guys have to deal with all this shit, otherwise the guy's "abusive." Meanwhile if a girl cheats, deceives, she gets a free pass because if the guy "lets her go" he knows there will be a Chad or another BB to snatch her up. Can't let that precious pussy get away, you gotta lock her down with marriage! And even then that doesn't work. Don't put your trust in women.

[–]103342 86 points87 points  (46 children)

I've lived enough to know women just aren't loyal by nature. TRP confirms this.

Long term relationships gives most guys the illusion that they are making an investment in something that will probably last longer and gets stronger with time. This is a cruel joke nature plays on us.

Most things in life seem to work like this: You work towards a goal and you eventually achieve it or at least gets closer to it.

Relationships just don't work like this. The more you work, the more invested you are, the less you take from it and the more you have to give.

If I'm not getting some assurance of my investment. For a real deal: family, companionship, loyalty and all. I'm simply not going to play this risky game. Most guys will wake up to this stuff eventually, the hard way or the easy way.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 42 points43 points  (45 children)

Seems like a lot of guys figure this out later in life. 30's, 40's, when divorces happen and you see a lot of guys making jokes about nagging wives, etc. Thankful I came across TRP to give me that bitter yet satisfying dose of reality before I get too far down the rabbit hole.

Why do you think relationships don't work like the typical goal does? Women are given a free pass by society to fuck around? Men are foolish?

[–]103342 41 points42 points  (17 children)

The real "investment" in a relationship is self-improvement.

Relationships are a constant power play dynamic. The more you chase power in a relationship the less power you actually have, the more power the other person has.

Women don't really need to invest because they have a constant exit plan.

So if you go into a LTR in the current state of affairs you should expect to give a lot more than you take by default.

Realizing that women don't really "love" the way men love, that they create unnecessary drama, and that they USE sex and affection to manipulate you. Are painful things. Some guys just like to stay oblivious or just aren't experienced enough to see it clearly.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 19 points20 points  (16 children)

I think a lot of people are hurt by oneitis, and not oneitis in the sense that if they don't get this one particular girl, they'll be sad. But Oneitis in the sense that because a girl hurt you in a certain way, doesn't mean that others will. In fact that's inaccurate and misleading. As we know AWALT, but the typical guy who has been raised in a society teaching people to praise women, he may think that even though he got burned by one girl, they're not all like that. For some, like many here at TRP, it takes ONE girl to do that until you realize the hard truth. Others, it takes multiple girls, and some never figure it out.

[–]koolkat182 36 points37 points  (15 children)

Yep. Had my heart broken by the first and only girl I loved. I thought she was perfect. She told me everything I wanted to hear.

We dated 4 years, she got drunk and cheated on me. The realization is eye opening, and crushing.

She was a sweet, smart, super cute girl. Never would have expected her to cheat. If I could go back in time, I would have told myself one thing. AWALT.

[–]banditbreath 35 points36 points  (10 children)

I'm currently going through divorce. My wife of 6 years, out of the blue, decided that she's falling in love with her boss at work and wants a divorce. 6 years of building our lives together. 6 years of paying for her college and investing in each other's families. I'm lucky that I'm still young, but damn, AWALT. I'm redefining myself and learning a lot through this process.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 22 points23 points  (1 child)

decided that she's falling in love with her boss at work and wants a divorce

Translation: I've been having sex and hanging out with my boss on multiple occasions. Over time, I developed feelings for him and they've become so strong I'm now convinced I no longer wish to see you. Oh, btw, I decided to tell you now after this all occurred.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably more like she was fucking the boss, managed to snare him in as a provider or at least hustled some commitment out of him, "ladies and gentlemen, we have been cleared for branch-swing, please remain seated and fasten your seat belts" mode ON, queue 2 years from now, he finds a younger hotter employee, comes begging back to OP.

OP I feel sorry for your "loss" and hope You'll be fine

[–]d0lphinsex 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Fucking Christ. When you hear these stories you can almost (almost) understand what the Muslims do with their women.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

They treat them as cattle the same way women do to men, only one is physical, the other is psycho-social. Now i'm all for being superior to this dichotomy as it doesn't build happiness to just cover one ass, but that's a way to do it (cover i mean). The balanced way would be early roman laws. The 0 fucks given of our society simply spawns the AF/BB and fuck society in the ass. Everyone will relapse to individualism with time because there is no social order to uphold or be proud of. There is only pussy by now and it's an individual indicator, not a social one. Well by now it's a social one too, but there you understand what status came to mean and why it's wrong.

Our system is built on envy more than exteem. Arabs, as bloody as they are in their ways, wouldn't ever allow that to happen. If i could get back a respect-backed society by stoning a couple sluts... i'd probably throw the first one. But i know it wouldn't solve nothing, so down with AF/BB we go. Until everyone see why you should stone sluts. Now we can't think that much long-term, so sluts are good and i agree. But it's like a body indulging with heroin, it's going to go down burning, because of the short-term focus.

[–]askmrcia 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I swear no matter how much redpill shit I read stories like this is just impossible to believe. I don't see how any sane person could drop a person who they swear they lives too, who they have kids with, ect.... Just to be with someone else. And the boss of all people? Seriously wtf?? After six years?

Holy shit, what man could see that coming?

I want to say you're full of shit, but I've seen your situation happened in real life recently. My manager was married for 30years. 30 freaking years. The wife didn't work and he took care of the family. She cheated on him and tried to take everything he earned.

I don't remember the exact details, but he was going through the divorce process as I was leaving the company.

I just hate reading and seeing these stories.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't see how any sane person could drop a person who that swear they lives too, who that have kids with, ect.... Just to be with someone else. And the boss of all people? Seriously wtf?? After six years?

You're male. Our brains don't work like that, we invest and wait for it to bear fruit. Ok most of us are like that, I know guys who throw shit away because they can. Girls on the other hand are the exception when they don't throw shit away just because they can. They don't think ahead, they don't plan, they know only right now not where they'll be in five years.

[–]omega_dawg93 4 points5 points  (0 children)

and i bet that in court, the first thing out of her mouth will be, "but he was always working... it's all his fault."

[–]Vril_Thought 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right now is the best time to focus on you and improve yourself in every way possible.

Physical: weights 3x a week, cardio Interval training 5x a week like boxing

  • cook
  • hobbies
  • sports
  • proper nutrition and hormonal balance

Mental: Book a week, take Modafinil. Podcasts

  • meditation
  • affirmations
  • learn Game

Financial: Any ideas for underground cash? Do it.

  • new jobs
  • cash in safe
  • be cash man (no credit cards)
  • appear as if you now have become a Vagabond


  • escorts ie backpage
  • link up with females on social media
  • socialize and gather a wide experience from women.
  • You must absolutely fuck 10 other women during this divorce and they can't all be from escorts.

You follow this advice and I'm sure others have more, you'll dominate and win the most valuable prize.. yourself.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like it really strengthened you which is awesome. Sometimes it's the most painful experiences that help us the most.

[–]brainbound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing is, pain and experience are the best teachers. If you were to go back and tell yourself 4 years ago that AWALT and your girlfriend wasn't a special snowflake, I doubt you'd have been able to accept that.

Unfortunately, most men don't learn this lesson until they've had it happen to them multiple times and TRP isn't recognised enough that it can be preempted.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Relationships fail for guys in their 30's or 40's because of a failure of personal leadership. Guys get fat, lazy and complacent. They let the wife take over too many of their duties, the defer leadership and settle into a life of "whelp, I married her! She has to love me better or worse." Except she can't get wet because he's a fat beta fuck. Compound that with many being captain sav a ho, and you have a disaster in the making. Some right the ship, some flame out.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In addition to that, a girl who hits the wall while in a relationship will not realize it is as bad as it truly is. So many of them dump their man only to find out nobody wants them for more than a quick fuck. If they find a guy who wants them, its usually because he is a desperate thirsty fuck that is just happy to have a girl that will open her legs for him. After the first fuck up where they go backwards and end up on a lower branch than where they started, they'll only jump if they think is a sure thing. They'll fuck around for a while and see if the new cock will support them. If she is remotely attractive at 40 she can still get admiring looks and interest, but a man who will take her wrinkled and saggy ass in is much harder to find, and one again he will probably be lower than the one she has.

Nobody tells girls that. Rather they are told they're beautiful at 220lbs, that age is just a number for them, and they can have more kids at 45. They're told they can always do better, because men can usually do better and there's no difference right?

It's a combination of the man giving up responsibility to her, allowing her to lead, and getting fat and lazy, and the way girls are and the bullshit they're told.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (21 children)

Humans aren't really wired to be life long monogamsists, and our culture hasn't caught up.

Problem is, by being in long LTR's it's easy to forget how to flirt and escalate.

I think it's important, if in an LTR, to continue self improvement and flirt....don't pull the trigger, but keep up some game and Dread is a thing.

[–]nuferasgurd 12 points13 points  (16 children)

"Humans aren't really wired to be life long monogamsists, and our culture hasn't caught up."

If biology is your argument, why would culture have to catch up? Culture came after biology.

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got downvoted. That's not right. Upvote.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 5 points6 points  (8 children)

If biology is your argument, why would culture have to catch up?

Because religion & patriarchy (in the past), and today's media have brainwashed the people into believing int the concept of life long monogamy.

[–]probpoopin 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I also think that it is a big assumption to assume we aren't biologically monogamous. We haven't always lived to be eighty years old. We lived until our thirties on average, and if lucky, made it into your fifties. Maybe we just have more time now, are monogamous, and that fucks us up even more. I don't think we have enough data to determine that. It also could have been that tens of thousands of years ago, it worked better in some places more so than others, which would be culture to some extent.

[–]rykocolor 10 points10 points [recovered]

Average life spans of previous generations looks low due to high infant mortality - in 1800, if you made it to 10 years of age, your life expectancy was close to 60 years. We do live a bit longer now, but not sure it's enough to throw off any biological urge for monogamy, if it exists.

[–]cashmoney_x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Catch up meaning stop trying to force a square peg into a round hole. This would free up so much of the nonsense.

[–]Lsegundo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

keep up some game and Dread is a thing

when your turn is over you move on quicker if your game is sharp and you already have women you are flirting with.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm there! My last LTR was 4.5 year all out effort and I have nothing in the pipeline.

That said, the last couple months have been more about myself than chasing women. More worried about being lassoed than lonely.

[–]cashmoney_x 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Humans aren't really wired to be life long monogamsists

THIS. It's the source of almost all relationship drama/issues. Almost all couple therapy should go like this: You guys are trying to force something that isn't natural. The attraction is gone and now you're just roommates except guys and girls make shitty roommates since we're so different. There's nothing to fix.

One can dream.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Problem is, many people still want kids. What does that look like? I think part of it is financial responsibility, so if attraction wanes to the point where divorce is the right call, it's not an absolute disaster. I think most kids would be better served by mommy & daddy each having a decent apartment rather than mommy & daddy living in seething resentment in a nice house because they were trying to keep up with the Joneses and took on a mortgage that neither could handle on their on.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More than a free pass to fuck around, they're encouraged by friends and family to trade up. Doesn't matter what you've done for her, it is meaningless. Briffault's law.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

He has to accept the past of his girlfriend, he has to accept her keeping contact with male "friends", accept her going out in places that people go to fuck (bars, clubs...) without you... etc. If you go against all of the bullshit you are a controlling, jealous, asshole.

That is all one massive shit test. One that I have personally failed. It's basically your social circle challenging your SMV versus hers. Everyone will take her side for the chance of getting a bit for themselves. If you meet a chick that willingly removes herself from all of that shit, then you may have something workable but never shut both eyes on it.

[–]d0lphinsex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm in this circus right now. I had some "good" friends that we mutually socialized with and now when we broke up they act so much different toward me then before. It's sad but I just have to accept it and move on. Abundance mentality is a great help here.

[–]GrowlingBears 23 points24 points  (10 children)

You're being generous today. 80% seems high to me. But, I live in one of the cities that seems to have started this crap. I see less than 5% of women here being LTR material. Cities are like that.

[–]bigk12345 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Small town are like that too. Everyone fucks everyone.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

if you live in a large city, care to provide the name? or general location? I'm in a large midwestern city for reference.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Any city. I'm currently in Boston, after graduating from a university in Boston two years ago and chicks are slutty. NYC, Philly, Chicago, Dallas, Seattle, San Francisco, LA. All chicks there are sluts and I know that, even though out of all the cities I listed, I've only been to NYC, Philly and Boston. I went on spring break in Panama City Beach and I would not wife up any of the hundreds of chicks I saw there. They all just acted so slutty.

[–]dab_1 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I live in Denver and it's the exact same way here these days. It's really sad what this city has turned into (born and raised here). Nothing but sluts looking for their next dude in line. I can't even go to the bars/clubs here anymore.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Damn that sucks. I've always considered Denver a place I could potential live, given that at some point, I might move from Boston. Seems like a chill place. Hiking, snowboarding, legalized weed, football, etc. I'm sure has a decent nightlife. I might still live there, knowing to never enter relationships.

I do prefer the city life to suburbs though. And with Boston, like I said I went to college and was involved with Greek life. I saw how slutty girls are not just at college parties, but out at bars and clubs, which include post college chicks, so it's not just college girls who are slutty. There were even women who if you were to meet for the first time, don't even look slutty, yet slept with so many dudes and my frat had a nice little nickname for girls who slept with a number of dudes.

Like many people have said, enjoy the decline. I'm just focusing on myself. Not getting married and all that. Hope to keep making more money.

[–]dab_1 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Denver used to be like that, until all these people from out of state moved here for the weed.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's unfortunate. I mean I like weed, but that's not the only thing I like and I usually keep it to just the weekend. I haven't hiked in a very long time, but did a backpacking trip in high school and would have loved to get back into it.

I love snowboarding and the nightlife on the weekend, as well as walking around places and trying new things. Also love sports and it would be cool to see a Broncos game.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

My current girlfriend is the opposite. Unless I IMPLORE her to go out with guys, go to clubs, etc, she won't. If she even has the slightest doubt I'm not comfortable with something she won't do it. A rare commodity indeed. And she's cute too!

[–]1nonthaki 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Good for you . But don't get too comfortable . Practice dread with yourself sometimes to keep your head in check .

Cause if things ever turn 180 degree , You wont have time to react and will fall in a rut hole . Better to live by the rule "Life is not partial" .

[–]starkiwi 12 points12 points [recovered]

Consider your premises, none of this is totally true. I don't know how this post is going to be received here but I'll share my perspective and my reasoning anyway.

He has to accept the past of his girlfriend,

Perhaps, but if you do then that's your decision (to accept it). You should definitely take her past into account when making your decision, but you don't need to say it. And to be honest it's hard to criticize a girl for having a n count of 10 (= 30) when I know mine is several times higher than that and I'm still spinning plates right now. For LTR material, I would really like a girl around the similar age range (late 20s/early 30s) which is mostly wall material anyway.

The question I try to find an answer to is whether she is a slut (or reformed slut), or just had many failed relationships. And if she did sleep around at one point, is she at least honest about it or does she try to hide it or lie by omission.

Bear in mind, I haven't had a true LTR in a very, very long time (close to 8 years). Commitment is always your choice.

he has to accept her keeping contact with male "friends",

Not at all. "Sorry honey, I don't think I can have a relationship that comes with all these guys hanging around that obviously want to fuck you." If they are beta orbiters and your SMV is high enough, they will be cut off.

Example: I dropped this line recently on a girl, first she went to great lengths to tell me how the guy was "just a friend" and she wasn't interested in him in any way, he was ugly, not her type, with some slightly racist comments thrown in to seal it. I said nothing apart from "well, I know what he really wants and I think you do too"

Just last night she told me she agreed with me (he was "creepy" now) and went out of her way to show me she hadn't talked to him since she met me, and then deleted and blocked him. She had showed me the messages that he had sent (always asking her out, "what are you doing :)", "you look beautiful today" etc) I'm sure the guy did nothing wrong, he sounded like a sweet guy but clearly in the friendzone for attention/validation. It never fails to amaze me how ruthless women are to nice guy betas.

accept her going out in places that people go to fuck (bars, clubs...) without you... etc.

I try to find this out in advance, for me this alone rules out the possibility of LTR. "So when was the last time you went out dancing" "Have you visited (name of the whatever the most popular club)? Oh, when?". Be indirect and you make your judgment silently. Girls go these places for one reason, we go there for the same one, we all know what that is. It doesn't matter if you meet them at the bar, online, or outside - they're still not girls that deserve any type of commitment.

"Sorry, I don't want a girl that goes to bars or clubs". Conversation is over.

If you go against all of the bullshit you are a controlling, jealous, asshole.

Controlling asshole is only what you might get called by her friends, but in reality she'll just love you more for showing you have self-respect and outcome independence. Chad is a controlling asshole.

On jealousy - this is your natural instinct not to get cucked. Recognize and accept it. You're allowed to be jealous, you're just not allowed to get emotional about it. Set clear boundaries, if she even looks like she is going to cross them then she is not the girl you will want for a LTR.

[–]103342 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I personally find the idea that I can't criticize a girl's number because mine is a lot higher to be ridiculous. Men and women are different.

If a girl has a lot of failed relationships she is a slut. Simple as that. I know some guys will go with her hamster and think that every relationship happened for a very special reason. Its never like that.

90% of the times: They broke up with her because she is a cunt or was witholding sex or she broke up with them because of hypergamy.

Either way, a lot of failed relationships show a lot about a girls character.

On jealousy - this is your natural instinct not to get cucked. Recognize and accept it. You're allowed to be jealous, you're just not allowed to get emotional about it. Set clear boundaries, if she even looks like she is going to cross them then she is not the girl you will want for a LTR.

Setting clear boudaries is the same thing as getting emotional because of jealousy in a woman's eyes.

Everytime I see this boundary thing being parroted in TRP I think about "how the fuck do you do that without showing that you are THAT invested in her?". The answer is "you can't". Setting boundaries is the same thing as pushing her closer to you, there is no way around that.

[–]seaguy87 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Agreed. starkiwi hasn't seemed to have familiarised himself with the Thousand Cock Stare. When girls are virgins, they are like a fortress. From puberty onwards, she will start to have men trying to find a way into the fortress to get the gold. The more men she allows into the fortress, the less gold there is. After a while, there is no gold left. For women, the emotional component is stronger in sex. For men, the physical. Once all the gold is gone, she becomes man-like in her hunger for the physical high. This is basic stuff, mang. High n-count for women = nono.

[–]ballietbran 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What an interesting way of putting things. I've never really thought of that analogy but yeah man good stuff.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree 1000%. That guy you responded too is wrong. Second you start setting boundaries, you are showing you care. And we all know what happens when men do that.

And there's no way around it. She is going to blab to her friends how much of an asshole you are for telling her she can't go to clubs for girls night out. And get friends will tell her to cheat.

She's going to side with her friends. I'm with you man.

[–]Tuga_Lissabon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But it IS the current, socially accepted model.

I'll just be the asshole in the room and say:

  • if the work environment is not changed by you not having a GF, don't give a fuck.

  • in some cases it does. It WILL affect prospects in some companies/for some positions.

If it in any way affects your professional standing, lie. Lie with a full mouth. After a period, it "didn't work out". Make a story that will make it easy to justify she not being around.

[–]jkschwartz2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These days it's not hard to see how beta the guy is in order to keep that happily married relationship going.

[–]thewrightstuff88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The issue with "happy" couples is that there's a good chance it's a facade. In my family at least, I've heard of couples literally being roommates yet during family/social functions, act like they are the most tight knit family. It's all a sham to keep the engine that is the family construct going, to not give the little kids a bad idea of marriage.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...is that the guy has to take so much shit by default.

I mean ya, with that attitude. What if you don't?

[–]thelaptopliquidator 0 points1 point  (2 children)

"If you go against all of the bullshit you are a controlling, jealous, asshole."

Which is a shit test. No women wants a man that lets her go around and cheat on him. No woman wants a man that lets her talk to other men. No women wants a man that lets her dress like a whore.

Women want a man with a BACKBONE.

She may throw a fit, but she's secretly delighted that you won't tolerate bullshit.

[–]CanuckinFL 0 points1 point  (1 child)

meh. I'm not convinced that's a workable situation at all-YMMV, but for this camper, I cannot guilt, shut down, nor "show backbone" because all that will do will shut her up about her hypergamy. You cannot guilt or be controlling or even SNIFF of being judgmental. The lies begin in earnest if you do that. You simply cannot be ruffled by any of the replies you get. That and ONLY that is workable. I get that we all want loyalty. It doesn't exist no matter what you do, and women will lie their asses off so as to not be judged. They lie even to themselves, so the more information (unjudged) that you're party to, the better informed you are. Never, ever demand exclusivity you're not prepared to offer. It sux, but it's true. And if you're offering it, as TRP suggests, you're an idiot. Catch 22 we all face.

[–]thelaptopliquidator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, my perspective is if you're with a girl that gives you reason to be jealous and controlling: Why are you with her???

Anyways, you're talking about plates: Yeah, there's no reason to being controlling or judgmental of your plates. If you give enough shits about them to care in the first place, you already fucked it up

[–]aptway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Proper vetting and picking of the woman honestly is huge. You really have to sift through a lot of trash to get there, to find a sweet, feminine woman who hasn't been through 50 cocks and whose idea of a fun night out isn't doing keybumps in the club bathroom at 3AM on a Saturday night.

[–]Gawernator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't "have" to accept that. Only LTR girls you deem worthy.

[–]AlerioX 48 points49 points  (3 children)

Quote from Esther Vilar:
"Ein junger Mann, der eine Familie gründet und sich hinfort sein ganzes Leben lang, meist in stumpfsinnigen Tätigkeiten, der Ernährung von Frau und Kindern widmet, gilt als ehrenwert. Einer, der sich nicht bindet, keine Kinder zeugt, mal hier und mal dort lebt, mal dies und mal jenes tut - weil es ihn interessiert und um sich selbst und nur sich selbst zu ernähren -, und der einer Frau, wenn er sie trifft, als freier Mensch gegenübertritt und nicht in der Uniformität des Sklaven, wird von der Gesellschaft ausgestoßen und verachtet. "

Just googled the translation:
"If a young man gets married, and starts a family and spends the rest of hise life working at a soul-destroying job, he is held up as an example of virtue and responsibility. The other type of man, living only for himself, working only for himself, doing first one thing and then another simply because he enjoys it and because he has to keep only himself, sleeping where and when he wants, and facing woman when he meets her on equal terms and not as one of a million slaves, is rejected by society."

My grandmothers ask me everytime I visit them when I will marry....the question gives me a vicious smile.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Wow, phenomal quote. Thanks for sharing.

[–]AlerioX 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Esther Vilar was way ahead of her time back in the 70s when she wrote her trilogy.
The good thing about germany is that we can read the original versions of the trilogy packed in one nice paperback book while there are only some old copies to get from the english version of the first part (manipulated men).
Esther Vilar's work is absolutely magical and I highly recommend reading Manipulated Men and Polygamous Sex.
Unfortunately she left germany decades ago because she was battered in a library bathroom by german feminists and her safety couldn't be guaranteed.
Because the german state can only offer security for radical islamic 'refugees', not for redpill authors.

[–]GrowlingBears 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Are the others seeing the missed opportunity to improve themselves? Are they recognizing they could have taken a bit more time before settling? Are you a ghost they are staring at or a mirror they are gazing into longingly? Fuck'em. Life's a bitch and they likely married one.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Word to that. Thanks for your comment.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Everyone gets told this. Women who don't want kids get crap because of it and called selfish. Men who don't marry get crap too, and called immature Peter Pans. It's just people making retarded assumptions about other people's life choices.

Ignore them, lift, improve yourself, live your life.

[–]2comment 44 points45 points  (0 children)

When the conversation of their SO's comes up, a few of my coworkers always seem to ask me my story, "are you married?" "do you have a girlfriend?" and when I say no to either question, it's like they've seen a ghost.

These people want you to reaffirm their life choices. It's like when you go into a church/synagogue/temple/whatever and have to believe in the magic beards or rub the fat guy's chubby stomach or have your kid fellate the priest, right along with everyone else. Half the herd may not exactly believe in the magic ritual but damned if you don't perform it just like they did.

I'm focused on me and improving my quality of life, but it's almost like my coworkers are crabs in a bucket.

They are crabs in a bucket, not almost. Many marriages suck (betas are on a constant treadmill of making their women happy through one form of supplication or another) and so do extended relationshits people are in these days and their shit 9-5 or whatever grind.

Misery loves company. They don't give a fuck about your actual relationship status, only that you eat like a sheep, shit like a sheep, and bleet like a sheep just like them.

Probably has a lot to do with (non-stem) college degrees too that don't teach shit about the actual job but damned they went through it and are under crushing student debt for decades, you should get in on it too! Position Open for Janitor : Bachelor's Degree Required.

[–]blackierobinsun2 34 points35 points  (1 child)

The reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I can't afford one

[–]pointguard2534[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First comment that actually made me laugh out loud. Have an upvote

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (4 children)

You have to coddle coworkers, it's why I'm essentially self-employed. They have their little worlds and need reaffirmation of their lives. A Real Estate Investment firm I do legal work for as In-House counsel got in a couple of new girls for their office staff and they both found reasons to visit me in my corner cave (I come in the back door and leave via the back door).

One flat out asked if I was seeing someone. Not paying attention I cracked out "yeah but don't tell my girlfriend or my wife." The woman got a real odd look on her face and walked out. The next time she saw me, she asked if I had been joking and if I was married. I smiled politely and explained it didn't matter, she got an annoyed look on her face and I don't talk to her anymore.

[–]theadj123 17 points18 points  (2 children)

That's always annoying, people you don't know at all just prying into your life for absolutely no reason.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's just people trying to feel each other out typically and gain a sense of familiarity and security. I don't consider it particularly malevolent, just unnecessary and kind of awkward. Plus I'm a 31 year old lawyer and I've slimmed down massively while still growing my muscles. So it's also just post-wall women trying to source a beta. Two of them are thin and pretty women but I don't shit where I eat and I'm also married, so fuck nope for me wanting to get to know them. Anything not work related they don't need to talk to me about.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's annoying because you know it's the matrix trying plug you in again.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hilarious, and sounds accurate. She was upset at your joke because now she has no angle to try and frame her slut incentives with. I'm self-employed for the very same reasons. Fuck (most) people at traditional jobs.

[–]Garconanokin 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I like the "my mom set the bar too high" as a means to dealing with the girlfriend question. Shuts them up quick.

[–]iheartdrums86 14 points15 points  (0 children)

*could not care less.

if you COULD care less then that means you at least care a little.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (15 children)

"Why dont you have a girlfriend?"

Because it makes my boyfriend jealous.

This is a test to see if you are successful with other women. Pass the test with an answer that a man who IS successful with women would say

[–]pointguard2534[S] 22 points23 points  (11 children)

I like it. Treat it like you would any other shit test.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (5 children)

Of course, it is a classic shit test that deserves a grinning bastard's response.

Last year a plate dumped me because who cares. A few months later she texted me and immediately tried to pick a fight and make me jealous that she was also seeing another guy while we were screwing. Here was my response:

"You were fucking another dude from the neighborhood while we were together? So was I!! A tall man with silver hair and great shoulders!! Was it the same guy???"

We fucked again that week

[–]pointguard2534[S] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Great to see. That's somewhere I could improve on, is realizing the shit tests when they happen. Nice results.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (2 children)

It will come.

Anytime someone is interacting with you and you feel an undertow to do or feel something against your will = shit test.

Holding frame is the ability to continue living in your reality and sucking the failed shit testers into said frame.

Go crush it and make em swoon

[–]RunnerFour 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a very helpful description, thank you.

[–]Garconanokin 24 points25 points  (0 children)

lol "because who cares." Nice.

[–]PortiaOnReddit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the option to dismiss them entirely for daring to give you shit.

I prefer to start things out with minimal bullshit. It eliminates 95% of women, but I've fucked 3 different women this week- two are regulars.

I don't need more pussy, but I'm open to upgrading if the girl is HB8+ and extremely submissive.

[–]enfier 5 points5 points [recovered]

"No, I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a few girls that would be pissed to hear me say that."

"Well I have some friends that happen to be girls... so sure I have lots of girl friends."

"Last time I made friends with a girl she kept trying to get me into bed."

"I'm saving myself for Mrs. Right"

"Why? Who's asking?"

"Not sure, haven't checked my relationship status on Facebook since Friday"

[–]boolshynet 4 points5 points  (2 children)

all of those sound try-hard and edgey. my go to line works like a charm...

"well....(pause as if thinking about it)... not officially"

[–]enfier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Delivery matters. It's impossible to have good delivery with text, but your tone should be either clearly joking or deadpan if you've got coworkers that get the humor.

[–]Yourstruly777 10 points11 points  (1 child)

The party asking the questions is leading the convo. Even with witty answers you are still in their game, in reactive mode.

Nonchalant disinterested shrug is how you pass.

Try a sudden drop in rapport and attention. It is unpleasant and whoever is talking to you will want to get it back. Works in any situation.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of ways to pass a shit test. Your way included.

Key is to be unaffected by others attmept to control your actions and moods

[–]ballietbran 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm using this next time it comes up in a situation.

[–]I_Need_More_Space_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I get two reactions from co-workers when they see me living life with a disregard for the mundane and chasing awesome goals like: I'm gonna become a ski bum this winter, ski 60 + days, and work 1 day/week from December to April.

a) They don't want to hear about the Scarpa ski boots I bought Sunday. They look at me with a vindictive and jealous look. They say that one day I'll meet someone and "everything" will change. I tell them that I don't believe in love and the whole Disney thing. LOL. Really, I straight up tell them.

b) They light up when I speak to them or approach them, because I'm a positive guy. They love to hear my plans for adventure and freedom. And they tell me, "You're doing it right. I wish I would have been able to do that." And they agree that love fades and complacency replaces it... At least, that's what one of them has told me.

There are haters that want to see you fucked like themselves, and there are people who cheer you on for living by your own terms. That's life.

[–]Andgelyo 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I'm in the same situation and I've realized the grad school I attend is pathetically blue pill( suburban/rural area). In addition, the majority of my classmates are females who are engaged, as well as most of my guy friends are in LTRs. How do I combat the " damn, dude, I'm sorry" or "you'll find a good girl" comments? Apart wants me to show all the nudes I get from tinder and laugh at their faces

[–]Flynn-Lives 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Academia as a whole is blue pill with the women being more masculine than the men. It's very depressing.

[–]agentapelsin 8 points9 points  (1 child)

"I don't have a girlfriend, I just have a few girls that would be sad to hear me say that"

[–]pointguard2534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that response. Or "yes but dont tell my wife"

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Five years. Five fucking years I have been single. In that time I went from dating several girls at once to fucking one or two then being single for months. Why? Because that's what pleased me at the time. Then I went into my "MGTOW" Faze where I was celibate for two years. After that I figured I'd try the relationship game again. Bad fucking idea. First girl I met was a stage five, multi- babies daddy, downright clinically psychotic, substance abusing criminal. But damn was she a stellar lay. That ended with her having a tweaker ex of hers steal my Harley at 7am on a Saturday ( I have no proof, unfortunately). Then I was single again for nine months.

This whole time every one of my friends and family pestered me about "finding her" and "getting a girlfriend."

Moral of the story: they just don't fucking get it. If you're perpetually single in our society you're a weirdo, a loner or socially retarded. Don't justify yourself to these people. Be you, live in the moment and fuck the haters.

[–]cashmoney_x 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How did you find you fared mentally during the two year celibacy? I have found to be a godsend in terms of my mental state. No stress whatsoever in my life these days; it's almost too good to believe. I'm constantly even. No great big ups and downs, just steady as a rock. Basically it's perpetual low level contentment.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mentally I was alright. I was going to school and living away from family with an old military buddy at the time. That made a big difference for me in terms of not having to deal with the constant nagging about relationships. When I completely gave up worry about sex it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders, but honestly I wouldn't ever do it again. If anything it was a test of will power and discipline which made me stronger in the end, but also created such a lapse in my game that I found it hard to recover when I started chasing ass again.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I actually watched something about this. It's society's way of shaming you into settling down. Just remember , they tell single women they don't need to settle down and they can whore it up.

Anyway. Fuck em. You're fine. Misery loves company so seeing you go against the norm triggers them into shaming you. As a man, you can decide to settle down at 50 and get some 18 year old pregnant. There is no rush at all.

Any man who treats you like not having an anchor leeching your time and money is bad, he can be written off as a fool.

[–]Sephar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get the same comment during my mid-twenties (I'm in the Netherlands): I usually take it as a compliment as the comment is often followed up with "a guy like you wouldn't have any problems finding a girlfriend" or "I don't believe that". I usually explain to them that I like to keep things casual or am enjoying my twenties. I do want to have kids somewhere during my thirties, so I'll have to opt for some sort of relationship, but would like to keep things diverse. Ideally I'd turn my soft-harem into a hard one, but I'm skeptical about this being successful. I have had and currently have plates who have expressed openness to polyamory, however, I find it's usually the outcome of an adventurous mindset and a drive to try new things in these girls, rather than an actual life-philosophy. Anyone have any experience with this?

[–]DoesNotMatterAnymore 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Just go with this answer:

"I don't have a girlfriend, but this doesn't means i'm alone!" smirk

If you follow the basic tips to improve your attractiveness (workout, dress well), no one gonna question your statement. It doesn't matter if - currently - no one is in your life.

If the follow-up question is "Why?", ignore it / Agree and amplify it, don't start hamstering about it, keep your frame.

[–]themanbat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm Mormon. I have three wives and five girlfriends. Want to be number 4 or number 6?

[–]nice_and_friendly 15 points16 points  (15 children)

id even take it a step further.. not only am i perfectly content being single and just sleeping with whoever i want, but i actually feel pretty bad for guys in LTRs. the fact that they actually desire committment makes me think that something hasnt clicked for them yet. or, that they just never figured out how to be attractive to women and dont have an abundance of options like i do. like why would you want one when you can just have them all? whatever their reason is, i silently feel bad for them. and guys my age who literally got legally married? i actually just feel pity for them. so its a bit funny how people ask why dont you have a girlfriend, why arent you getting married.. as if thats something that a high caliber man should even want in the first place.. as if its some kind of life accomplishment or success to be proud of. when i see my male peers in committed LTRs and getting married, all i see is a giant failure. so they can feel bad for me all they want, i feel bad for them too. i generally try to avoid these kinds of conversations though, we all gota live our own lives and make our own choices

[–]pointguard2534[S] 26 points27 points  (13 children)

I couldn't have said it better myself. I see these guys, 22, 23, 24 getting married, and I truly wonder if these guys are happy. I'm sure that some of them are, it would be a little naive for me to assume that they aren't. But the guys who got married because "their girlfriends wanted to" or "it's the next step in life," fuck that. Fuck that so hard. I see guys who have to leave the office at 4:30pm because their wives will get mad if they're not home before dinner. That's not how I want to live my life. Live life on your own terms, fuck what anybody else thinks.

[–]bigk12345 16 points17 points  (2 children)

My parents have been married for over 20+ years and got married at 21 and they were born in patriarchal country

The difference is that both of them were willing to put in the EFFORT to make it work and boy, did they go through a lot of shit in life and they still stuck together.

Difference with the bitches today is external validation. Their prime at 21-25, but they want to ride CC because their hypergamous nature tells them it is ok and there is no repercussions. Since we know women don't know what they want , they just keep getting humped and dumped and bitch about how their is no good guys out there without taking responsibility for their own actions because they keep constantly reinforced how beautiful they are on Facebook and Instagram. BPs, feminisms and white knights do not help either.

You hit a rough patch in life and can't provide me what I want? I am just going to message one of my Facebook followers or Instagram guys and fuck them, because why would I want to help you. You are not doing anything for me.

Oh I am bored? It must be men's fault. I'll just go with someone more fun.

Oh, I have 200 likes on my facebook profile picture? Mhmm. Should I really be with this guy again?

[–]pointguard2534[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Cool to hear about your parents. Sucks we experienced a societal shift (likely due to the popularity of the birth control pill) and now bitches want to ride the CC and fuck Chads and have no repercussions for their actions. And it fucking works because betas will provide them the commitment they so desire, all while being limited to sex once a week while their precious girlfriend goes out and gets dick from Chad.

[–]bigk12345 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. There is zero repercussions and the funny thing women totally fulfill their dual sexual nature in today's society. Rides CC, Has a kid, beta bucks provides she leaves, gets half of the money and hops of to Chad on the side until they get humped and dumped again. This keeps going until they they are no longer sexually desirable because guys can get younger girls. Sure, she will get some dicking but it will be a mercy fuck.

Women are just not loyal. Men carry the burden and when she gets a tiny whiff of crack in her knights armour , which will happen eventually, she will hop of because she thinks she deserves better in her eyes and hop off on next dick thinking it will make her happier. Will it? Most likely not. How many girls do you see that are genuinely happy these days? I am cocky and funny by nature, and it is unbelievable how once the girls' guards are lowered, they have nothing exciting going for them except their looks.

My ex blocked someone on Facebook because the other girl looked too happy and looked like her whole life was peachy. How petty is that?

How many women just get "bored"? I mean, I admire people like my parents that maintained their marriage, but do I think it is natural to be with one person and have the same "love" you did 30 years ago ? No.

I went from wanting to have a huge family ( boys, preferably...hehe) to saying marriage is just a joke these days.

I am not willing to compromise my kids future by having a divorce. I believe that there should be feminine and masculine power present.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Yes, they are happy when the marry at that age. It's nice having a dinner to come home to.

The question is if they are still happy at 42, 43, and 44.

As, I believe, Socrates put it: "By all means, marry. If you marry well, you'll be happy. If not, you'll become a philosopher."

[–]SatanAscending 16 points17 points  (1 child)

At least Socrates somehow married up and managed to secure himself a lifestyle, where he didn't have to work in his life. His father was a sculptor, while Xanthippe likely came from a rich, arictocratic family, mind you.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should get two upvotes, one for the knowledge and the other on the user name alone.

[–]Stythe 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I'm not against LTRs but if it isn't what you want then it's a waste of time. I hate that mentality of "It's the next step in life." That's not a reason, it's a meme. The next step afyer what? Go to school? Go to college? Get a good job? So then what? It's get married and have kids, likely followed by being miserable or, optimistically, bored?

If that's really how someone is, really what they want, then fine. But I think most people don't think about it.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You raise a good question. What happens after you FINALLY achieved the holy grail of marriage and a couple kids? You raise them, where you are now in charge of the lives of kids, and can no longer make your own life a priority.

Maybe this is an overly pessimistic viewpoint. Maybe it's a reflection of reality. Maybe some people genuinely enjoy this lifestyle, and if they do, I'm extremely happy for them. I know it wouldn't work for me. Curious as to how others would weigh in, as well as you.

[–]Stythe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The midlife crises was common enough to become a known phenomenon. Again, I don't think it's about whether or not someone wants marriage and kids but rather whether they are doing it because they want it or because they think it's just what happens. Going to college/Uni is often the same thing. People go because they're told to, rack up tons of depth and never follow through because they didn't actually care.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mindfulness is key.

The only reason to have kids is to prepare small ignorant humans how to cope with a complex and heartless world.

Oh yeah, they will have their hearts broken along the way, and will eventually die.

But......life can be good if you know how to life within its limits.

[–]nice_and_friendly 3 points4 points  (2 children)

i think the only scenario where it could make them happy is if they are too inexperienced or otherwise blue pill brainwashed to understand the situation the way that we see it here. AWALT inherent female hypergamy in conjunction with the full extent of the risks involved with legal marriage... not to mention what theyre missing out on by chasing commitment instead of just doing whatever they want. to each their own though... i dont try to convert people to red pill. i care infinitely more about myself. do i have a girlfriend? yeah, like 15 at any given time, and another 50 on the back burner. enjoy your marriage

[–]pointguard2534[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You can't convert anyone to red pill. They have to discover it on their own. In my BB days, I would have never listened to TRP, because I would have thought everyone here is a misogynistic, butthurt neckbeard who doesn't get laid and doesn't know shit about females. Now that my eyes have been opened to the realities of the world, I see TRP in my every day life, and I'm happy beyond belief to see that now. People have to want to change, you'll never do anything trying to convert them except piss them off and make them feel bad for you.

[–]TheRedChemist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's because for most guys it is an achievement. Two groups with histories of different success levels with women. You've got the unsuccessful guys, for whom LTR/marriage means they have FINALLY locked down a consistent and unlimited source of sex (or so they think).

And you've got the guys who used to be successful, but didn't understand why or how they were, and they're following the social narrative that LTR/girlfriend is just what you're supposed to do, it's the "right thing", it's growing up. They too enjoy the comfort of being able to relax and let themselves go a little because they've got that indefinite source of sex locked down so they don't need to try anymore.

That covers the vast, vast majority of men. And we know how both of those will end. Guys who are comfortable with being single and successful enough to get their fill of sex without locking into an LTR are exceedingly rare.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If you take your work seriously, which it sounds like you do, how do you keep that focus on you and making your life improve and catch up with all your women?

[–]pointguard2534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually catch up with girls when i have the time. Work always comes first. But if i find myself with a slower week, ill text a couple and set up getting together. Im not spinning more than three plates at once, i find it too exhausting trying to keep up when i have other commitments, and friends to see too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will just say that I also hate getting that fucking question. It's just really intrusive and I want to tell people so badly that it's none of their business.

[–]trpthroway123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Why aren't you married?"

"Polygamy isn't legal"

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Because having 5 is more fun"

Problem solved.

[–]yung_shkreli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually tell them I'm skipping my first marriage.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have a girlfriend because I have no balls and miss out on every flirting opportunity that comes my way.

Most of them I only realize when I think about them later, then I hate myself. Sometimes my inner self is screaming "hit on her you stupid schmuck," but I puss out, or cant think of something to say, or don't feel right, or whatever bullshit excuse seems convenient at the time.

[–]Evileddie13 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just tell 'em you got a bad case a 'choke-a-bitch.'

[–]pointguard2534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha if I'm looking to have a case with HR i'll keep it in mind :D

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The question will always come up, being in a relationship is like having a job, everyone has one. You're weird if you don't.

[–]Apexk9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Yeah man its terrible to be able to fuck young hot pieces of ass I don't know how I can sleep at night with my huge grin from side to side"

"Yeah must be nice to have sex so easily I could only have sex like 40 times last month if only I had a wife"

Just do under handed insults.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's two fold, for one their commitment has been validated whilst yours has not, they think. And second they are incredibly insecure that they made the wrong choice. The fear of missing out is real with the beta/slut. They have zero confidence in their life choices, thus everyone has to be in the same boat as they are. The possibility that someone made better choices and is eventually better off frightens the shit out of them. They hate competition.

I've seen guys utterly break down just by the idea that you are slaying poon while they are dry humping their overweight girlfriend or wife. The hamster explodes and they attempt to say and do anything that makes them feel good again.

Truth is that they know, they fully know that a guy with much higher SMV than theirs is getting attention from women. They know that the only reason he is single is because so many women are vying for his commitment, that he can play the field. But they can't take that reality so they tell themselves that there must be something wrong with you and that they're better after all. Whilst putting in zero hard work to actually better themselves.

These people can't be helped, they are doomed to rot away as slaves and losers in the current system. Beta's, and Sluts

[–]Fragems420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friends with benefits are the best way to go for me for self improvement without the need to invest too much time or emotions.

Do what works for you. Rub one out before you think about settling down.

[–]johnny_hamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That definitely provides value for me. I get that question a lot, and I feel like a nobody after I answer it with a "no". Good for you for not comparing yourself to other people and really killing it overall.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I actually remember watching an interview with a musician I really like. He's solo too - no wife or anything - and he said he just wanted to focus on music. At that time I thought "wow, he's like 50 and so behind in life". Eventually I learned that other ways of life are just different, not worse. Such is the extent of the blue pill conditioning.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a huge sign of emotional maturity is seeing others life choices not as better or worse, but different. We all have the same goal, to achieve happiness (presumably). We all have different ideas of how to do it.

[–]BlackFallout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late 20's Same problem. Out of all the girls I've fucked since I started following TRP 3 years ago, I have not found a single one I would ever want to be in a LTR with.

[–]JusticeHunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inspiring story man! As i guy who is in his early 20s, my 3-5 years plan is to keep lifting and grow some balls to approach. Self-Discovery has been pretty rough for me, thank you for sharing your perspective!

[–]Johndoesmith67 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell them "I am focused on fucking bitches and stacking paper to the ceiling."

[–]TheDialecticParadox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They like to shame anyone/anything that shatters their world view. The media tells them to pity and sneer at willingly single men, because secretly they 'must have small penises', or 'crippling abandonment issues'. There, there little hamster. Isn't marriage wonderful? Isn't it nice being 'normal'?

Don't ever say any of this though. Just play your part and keep slaying.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It all comes down to your personal choices. I personally chose to find a girl who I was attracted to that would follow me and be my first mate.

When I found her, I was fine being in a LTR. Up till then, I was fine playing the field. As much as that's possible with a field full of bad fruit.

People ask about this sort of stuff because it's generic conversation. Not much to think about here. It would be more interesting to know the ages and looks factor of the people involved.

[–]Mouthpiece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be sure to note the assumption in the question: somehow, you SHOULD have a wife or girlfriend. Your failure to conform to the expectations of others threatens them, because it forces them to it knowledge the fact that not everyone needs to have a spouse or LTR.

Different people are scary to those who conform.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Why don't you have a headache?"

[–]DarkisKnight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give it a few years. Many of them will be unhappily married or in a sexless relationship with their gfs and not know why. While you will be dating hotties and having the time of your life. At least among the men you'll probably be treated more with envy and disbelief.

[–]ballietbran 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Pre-TRP me would have compared myself to these people, thinking that I'm somehow behind in life, less attractive than the married guys, whatever." Exactly this, who gives a fuck about their lives. The reason they look at you like a ghost is because they're the one's doing everything that society told them to do. Good on you man for becoming the best version of yourself. And there is nothing wrong in not wanting a specific woman in your life like you mentioned earlier. Great post!

[–]pedler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get it either.

I feel like peope are going to judge if I say I'm waiting for a 9 or a 10, so I just make up some excuse. I'm leaning towards starting to tell people I'm gay so they stop prying.

[–]indeydius 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Q: Why don't you have a girlfriend?

A: I'm still holding auditions.

[–]pointguard2534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely love this answer.

[–]jm51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why don't you have a girlfriend?

Medical reasons.

What medical reasons?

I'm an asshole.

[–]GalacticSuperDrone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate this. I havent been in an LTR for about a year, girlfriend cheated yadda yadda yadaa.

People always ask me this, even guys ask why I don't have a steady girlfriend.

I don't fucking want one, I have my hobbies and friends and bang some chicks on the side when I can. Other than that chicks are pretty low on my priority list - after all, they've all proven to be complete shit bags, excuse me for not want to jump into an LTR with another fucking bitch.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see other men in relationships and pitty them. I know the real manipulation long term pussy can lead to. The gainz in fitness, work ethic, game and just general confidence I get from being single far outweighs the benefits of having familiar pussy and a shoulder to cry on.

[–]Mckallidon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually respond with "they would say so". But I can say these things at my job.

[–]Areu4realm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just tell them im still looking, i have not choosen anyone yet. that the answer their gonna hear until im 100 yo old.

[–]EscortSportage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im in the same shoes bud, F those crabs! Stay focused on your own goals not those squares at work with fat/ugly wives.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe they can't figure out why a man would work there unless he had a family to take care of.

Seriously, life without a wife and kids is cheap.. Some days I question why the fuck I bother with a full time job anymore

[–]Zerwas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I experienced the same thing, having been single for a longer period of time in my 20s. The social conditioning is strong in this regard:

Dude has no girlfriend, something must be wrong with him!

On the other hand I know lots of people who are in a "purpose-relationship" which are obviously not happy and just stay in it because it offers advantages like cheaper rent if they live together etc.
I'd rather be single and have some plates than live with someone mainly for function.

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