Off TopicThe Antifragile Man: Defeating Fear and Anxiety. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by RobertCarraway

This is the eve of my 30th birthday. This post is my birthday gift to the men of TRP who have given me so much. Your author was a timid boy. Even going to the grocery store has caused considerable anxiety at times in his life. At 30, he is not at all a timid man. What follows is the catalyst for that transformation:


You’ve been beating yourself up for decades. Every little mis-step is cause for intense self-hatred; every stutter brings an avalanche of shame. Is it any wonder that you’re constantly afraid when you’ve subjected yourself to such Pavlovian conditioning? From here on out you incentivize yourself to take calculated risks. This means always congratulating yourself when you fail.


The next time you fail with a woman (or in any endeavor) you should feel EXCELLENT. Not just OK, but GREAT. If you’re not failing then you’re not pushing the limit. In order to get the opposite of the results you got in the past, you need to feel the opposite emotions. Do this until you look at failure like a daily mulitvitamin. Every failure is an opportunity for you to treat yourself well and thereby increase your future appetite for risk.

It does not matter what level you are operating on or how badly you have failed.

Do not hesitate. Forgive your failures immediately. Permanently. Profoundly.


Suicide is probably the way I’ll go. Humiliation is bound to come. Loneliness and pain are a given part of a healthy life. Meditate on deep fears and practice embracing those fears. This is akin to the baseball practice of swinging the bat with a weight donut before stepping up to the plate.


Any deep emotions you felt in the past are going to manifest themselves in your life today. When you have spent decades wiring yourself wrong, it can take intense reflection to identify and eliminate these hang-ups. Your limiting beliefs can even take the form of mental images, people, songs, movies, or phrases. Anything tied to emotion can be an BP Anchor. Conduct an inquisition. Meditate daily.


Now that you’ve dealt with failure – Only now you are prepared to deal with success. TRP will change the way people look at you. This process will change the way you look at yourself.

When you begin challenging yourself to fail… THAT is when you’ve already won.

This is the way of the Antifragile man.

[–]RedPillFreedom 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Great Post!

And... Happy Birthday!

[–]jackandjill22 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Antifragility & resilience are of the utmost importance to men in our society currently, thanks for the post. Best of luck to you.

[–]RedPillRedemption 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Which are, essentially, contradictory, but complementary in a way.

You should be antifragile until you can afford to be resilient. I see this concept in the modern software engineering concepts, when a system is mature and robust when it failed enough to have most fragilities fixed to be resilient.

It is, in my point of view, a great analogy for building up physical and psychological strength. You can be only unphased by shit when you had shit enough. "Naturals" are people that have that built in the course of their lives and is already battle-hardened.

[–]dezrambson 12 points12 points [recovered]

Anti-fragility = Strength, and only the strong survive.

[–]Moneyley 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Love that book. However, from what I recall, Taleb describes Antifragility as gaining from dire situations. Ex: something that improves with stressors. Instead of fragile, there is improvement from abuse.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Abuse is one thing in a much larger arena. Adversity. Adversity isn't abusive, but abuse is adverse, many more things in life can have the same effect.

Enduring, surviving, and overcoming adversity is what builds you. Simply surviving can, but you can also fail to improve by just surviving. The weak survive all the time, but they are not built into indestructible men who will thrive within arduous adversity. Taking the bad shit that happens without your control and turning it into a positive through your own actions is overcoming and using that adversity.

Abuse can break you. Hardships can as well. Enduring it and getting stronger because of it doesn't happen to everyone, many give up and stop pushing forward. They give in to fear, pain, and discomfort. Those of us who embrace the fear, pain, and discomfort are strengthened through the process.

Fire can melt steel, but it can also harden and strengthen it. Wood is burned in fire, but it can be hardened as well. One way is forging tools, with just enough heat, the other weakens the steel or wood and allows it to be poured into a mold, taking the shape of the mold. Wood ash is not very strong, and cast iron is not nearly as strong as tempered steel, but even cast iron is stronger than wood ash.

Are you steel or wood? Well you end up hardened or molded?

[–]FlowingKing 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday man!

For me getting over my fear in social situations is one of my biggest challenges, but it's also one of the most rewarding. You're right, when I inevitably fuck up at times, that means that I'm actually putting myself out there and challenging myself rather than staying in my comfort zone like my basketball coach used to tell me.

It feels good to fail when you're pushing limits.

[–]letoucanmeme 7 points7 points [recovered]

Great write-up! Gives me a different perspective on trying & failure

[–]1OneRedYear 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just listened to this podcast today about failure. It's really a great way to look at it, even with women. If you fail fast and often you can learn what doesn't work.


[–]Faymozilla 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Wow... Something good for once worth reading

[–]AlerioX 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Happy birthday, Robert Carraway!
Oh, and congratulations for fucking up your dim light vision with Lasik eye surgery, AlerioX! (Yeah, you told me I should congratulate myself when I fail)

Joking aside, I think antifragility is a great concept but I don't think one should read the works of Nassim Taleb due to the fact that he repeats himself all the time and he is utterly arrogant. Sam Harris once said that Nassim is by far the person with the most inflated ego he ever met and when you read his books you get what Sam ment.

Instead I can recommend these three relevant links:
Antifragile Review by RooshV
Antifragile Review by Julien Blanc
Wikipedia article about Hormesis

I just referred to the two former most hated men on the world. I need to stop being a shitlord.

[–]chaseemall 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Arrogance isn't arrogance if you can back it up. Considering his work, I'd say he's backed it up quite well.

[–]silentlyfurious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting watching Julien speak. Knowing that his whole persona is consciously made n all; "Law 25: Recreate Yourself". Look at all those extravagent gestures he got going on; "Law 37: Create Compelling Spectacles", "Law 6: Court Attention at all Cost".

[–]sensitiveduck -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sam Harris is a Clinton cuck. Taleb deadlifts and has every right to be arrogant. Perfect combination of academic and gangster

[–]angryomlette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy Birthday Bro and great post.

[–]landon042 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well damn, I guess your some sort of known poster. I rarely check the username. Happy birthday I guess! because everyone else is saying it, the more birthday love the better bro.

anyway about the post,

This means always congratulating yourself when you fail.

in the gym i'm cultivating mass, and when i push that bench to failure I don't sit there and cry "well fuck i failled kms" no.

i'm thinking , woooh my chest has skin ripping pumps I'm tearing this muscle and know I will grow with every failure.

I see it giving me a different look on things

[–]meh613 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday, u/RobertCarraway !

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not hesitate. Forgive your failures immediately. Permanently. Profoundly.

When you begin challenging yourself to fail… THAT is when you’ve already won.

Some very powerful quotes here.


Just kidding, good stuff.

[–]ReadySetGonads 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the best posts I've seen and one I can relate to wholeheartedly. It's tough to admit but I struggled with this for a long time and I absolutely agree with the message you are giving. Fuck fragility. As men we must be robust and rugged like a mountain, let the bitches be the meandering rivers and ocean waves.

I too have found meditation to be THE tool to solidify these beliefs and dispose the limiting thoughts on a daily basis. I can't stress it enough, if anyone is struggling with negative feelings like fear, depression, and anxiety give this post some serious thought. This shit has changed my inner perception so much.

Props on taking the time to write this OP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday, but you seem to interpret Taleb the wrong way. What he argues is about the inherent nature of systems. I.e flight-safety likes disasters because it means that disaster will be avoided in the future. But people, we allready have mechanisms for dealing with negative events. It´s not through an external concept like anti-fragility, but rather through pride, fear, ambition, happiness etc. If you fall down, get the fuck back up. Don´t look for ways to fall down so you artificially increase the number of get-ups.

[–]SailingDevi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this post sir.

[–]d6x1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Success comes from experience.

Experience comes from failure

[–]Paarthurnox[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed this post, thanks!

[–]thelaptopliquidator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You either win or you learn

[–]DemonGamer666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely what I needed to hear I read this yesterday and it was my 20th birthday ironically.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

very good post

I recommend this if you are stuck on old memories or conditioning.


[–]Fulp_Piction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll add to your excerpt on failures: Learn what there is to be learned and then move the fuck on. Cutting out worrying about the past is half the battle towards living in the moment, which itself is a huge part of game.

[–]fearl3ss 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm a founder of a startup, so I hear this "celebrate failure" maxim often. I don't exactly agree with it.

I think it's much more helpful to think in terms of iteration instead of success and failure.

If you fail without iterating towards a positive direction, it's a waste of time. If you approach 100 girls, strike out every time, and learn nothing in the process, you're wasting time.

You want to attempt to prove or disprove hypotheses and map out the territory. "Failure" in this model is failure to efficiently learn. Don't waste time. You want to test and learn as quickly as possible what works and what doesn't work.

[–]RobertCarraway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your point, and I agree with it. Keep in mind that this thread is primarily speaking to failure as it relates to fear. Your model works once you can process failure as pure information and don't load it with an insane number of personal value judgements.

[–]pornpornpppp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the contribution OP, it's those that succeed, come back, and share, that make this little corner of the Internet worth it. Happy birthday!

[–]doolydeath -1 points0 points  (0 children)

these niggas are way too thirsty tbqh ahahha smh