Red Pill TheoryGame: For Best Results, Don't Be Heavy. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

Hi guys, it's 2016, and for the last 20-40 years of your life, you've been casually brainwashed with movies, music, and hairdresser tabloid articles about about true love, happy endings, and unbelievably perfect romances. And it's all bullshit.

Here's how it works. You spend countless hours exposed to some sit-com or lovesong or sappy movie or really [insert whatever media], and then you talk about it. You share your findings about how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie find true love in the end and live happily ever after to tune of Mondo Bongo. Such is life, I suppose.

After prolonged exposure, you start to buy into the fantasy world concocted by Hollywood playwrights. You absorb their tropes. You integrate them into your M.O. and then you spend another ten hours networking with similar people who've been equally exposed to said brainwashing media, circulating the same retarded information, and soon enough everyone's buying into all these unrealistic fantasies. These fantasies are both about how life has to be and also how it should be lived, and soon enough, the hive-mind is born. This does not make for a healthy, realistic conception about the world and how it operates.

When I was in high school, back when I knew jack shit about everything involving Life, the Universe, and Everything (and women too especially), I had a friend Matt, who asked me for advice about how to get whatever girl.

And I told him be sweet to her. Spend his money on her. Take her out for an 80 dollar sushi date in a grand romantic gesture and shortly thereafter, proclaim his affections for her.

Like him, I too was a virgin, and predictably had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. But my advice seemed like something outa a chick flick staring whatever A-List actor, maybe Mathew Mcconaughey or someone equally absurd.

Why did it sound like it came from the movies? Because, for all intents and purposes, it surely did.

Needless to say, showing the girl in gifts and telling her how much he loved her was absolutely ineffective, cringey, and ended up repelling her.

Why did it end up repelling her?

It was heavy as fuck, that's why.

I was talking to my friend Gary (name redacted) yesterday and he came asking me for some advice about how to deal with a girl he has a crush on. He figured he should spend exorbitant amounts of money on her, take her out someplace real fancy, tell her how he feels about her, and then she'll be ever-so-wooed by his grand romantic gestures. Bullshit.

And he's very receptive to me, looks up to me in an almost sycophantic way, so I decided to set him straight. No Gary, Heaven's no. Anything but the green wire, don't do that.

I told him to go out for some low-budget casual food. Fuck, even just coffee works. And then go for a walk and talk in whatever park, get to know each other, and if everything feels good, invite her over afterwards.

Gary's objection was that seemed too casual and not romantic enough for the Romeo he is.

And so I told him, "romance is dead my friend. In the immortal words of Cindy Lauper, girls just wanna have fun." Granted, this isn't 100% true, but 98% is close enough, at least according to me.

Women are people and 9 times outa 10, people don't like heavy shit. Nobody likes like formal talks and scheduled obligations. Nobody likes long relationship discussions, awkward bullshit and melodramatic crap.

People like to feel like everything happens natural and easy, and so 4th wall emotional confessions have a silly way of breaking the immersion and then everything becomes messy and ugly.

This idea - this Hollywood lie that everything's gotta have meaning, everything needs to be special, orchestrated and ceremonial - this fucks up a lotta people because it often runs incongruent to the things people want.

What do people want you ask?

People just want to relax, have fun, and be appreciated for the things they commit themselves to. They wanna be objectified but only for the things they care about.

Like every decent man, I go to the gym. I've put a lotta fucks into my appearance, and as such, I like it when girls tell me they think I'm hot as fuck and run their tiny hands along my body. I like to be objectified about the things I've applied myself to, and so do you and so do they.

We go out to war everyday, go to classes, take tests, work a job, exercise, play office-politics - we exhaust ourselves all day, and then we come home after a long day. After putting up with exhausting, albeit inconsequential bullshit all day long, who in the right mind would be interested in a long awkward talk about whether or not you're ready to be Facebook Official.

Fuck That.

Nobody likes that awkward silence. Nobody likes heavy bullshit. People, especially women, would much rather go out, get fucked, get high, relax, and simply feel good about themselves.

So for anyone contemplating making a big thing outa your relationship, don't be heavy.


The person you should be is the casual guy, the fun guy. Not the one who tries to integrate Disney-level tropes about love and happy endings into your relationship with whatever girl.

Unsubscribe to the idea that everything must be special.

This girl I've been casually seeing texted me the other day, "Hey ienderman, I fucked up really bad and I don't really wanna think about till the morning."

My response, "Alright. Come over, let's hang out, I'll be your escape, no questions asked."

And she did, and we fucked, and, as expected, her fuckup was absolutely inconsequential (failed whatever test or something).

Be their escape.

[–]RealMcGonzo 113 points114 points  (9 children)

I remember in HS and college after I bought into all the BP/Hollywood nonsense. I thought that finding The One would result in being happy for the rest of my life, and the process was this:

  1. Find some cute chick I like. The only criteria is how I feel about her, nothing else matters at all.
  2. Get to be friends with her.
  3. Make her fall in love with me. It does not matter in the slightest if she is gay, has a BF, is married, hates me or anything else.
  4. Get married.
  5. Live happily ever after.

Hollywood movies, shows and pop songs served me up quite a crock of shit.

[–]FractalFactorial 72 points73 points  (4 children)

I passed up the advances of a girl I actually really liked because I thought that since I wasn't ready to be in a LTR with her it would be harmful to "exploit" her attraction to me.

I basically cucked myself by whiteknighting... also against myself. Jesus Christ it makes my head hurt.

[–]ctsaot 43 points43 points [recovered]

Biggest cock block is yourself, we've all been there. Took me years to stop doing this.

[–]Gobiel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently going through this.. Trying to convince myself that I don't care, yet I do.

It's funny. I've turned down so many women that now only those with very little self esteem still linger.

[–]BENDERisGRREAT 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Im pretty sure gay guys can have this, thats why homosexuality is historically frowned upon by society lol. The moment men arent raised being told women are special flowers is the moment that the human race stops reproducing

[–]GC0W30 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Im pretty sure gay guys can have this,

No, dude.


Been there, done that.

The whole RedPill reality of heterosexual dating and marriage is still in play for gay men.

Gifts don't do it, songs don't do, poems don't do it.

The dude playing the "man" in the whole gay equation needs to be powerful, strong, macho and never show weakness. He will be abandoned a few minutes after he stops being strong.

It's the exact same bullshit straight men have to deal with.

BTW, shout out to your username. Watching some Futurama while I wrote this comment!

[–]SetConsumes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not entirely true. There is some polarization with homosexual couples, but they mostly date themselves. Effeminate men date effeminate men, masculine men date masculine men.

[–][deleted] 136 points137 points  (6 children)

Excellent post. Far less cynical view than we are used to seeing when it comes to women. They just want to enjoy themselves, the same as we do. A lot of the time that means not wanting to settle down and have something serious, i.e. sleep around with lots of men. Should we really be angry about this?

It's human nature and it's not going to change. Adapt and overcome.

[–]_fappycamper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The anger is at ourselves - for not seeing how things really are.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)


What is this?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Depends on the demographic you're trying to fuck. Young girls are like this. Accomplished 40 something girls are too. The desperate 30s will be those looking for someone to support them and pay off the student loans that funded her worthless degree and the kid(s) she dropped from her snatch. I have yet to meet agirl under 28 who isn't exactly what op described. When the free shit from orbiters vaporizes, then she starts wanting something more than "it just happened" fun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)


What is this?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (1 child)

They can only harm you if you let them. However, every bitch ever born will try. It's up to you to handle them, if you can't you'll get fucked over. Often.

[–]HS-Thompson 56 points57 points  (7 children)

Be their escape.

Yes this is good advice, and that line is especially insightful.

It's worth noting what you are helping them escape from: the torture chamber of their hormones and emotional state.

For all the shit we talk here, being female is actually really fucking hard. From what I understand it's a never ending tropical storm of feelings and emotions that come and go through their lives on an unpredictable cycle. Many times I've seen women just throw up their hands and say look I'm crazy right now, I don't know why I think all these things, just ignore me for a minute. That's just part of being a woman, it's like being a prisoner of your own head.

So as you point out the fucking last thing they are looking for is for someone to play into that emotional whirlwind, to amplify it, to make it more heavy or more emotional. They desperately seek males who are stable, aren't thrown off-balance by their emotional twists and turns, and who can keep it light and fun. So they can escape.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (5 children)

How do you reconcile this statement with Feels Before Reals? I'm a laid back have fun kind of dude but it seems like men who make their women feel intense emotional swings come out winning. I mean dread, negs, attention withdrawal, random rewards, etc.

[–]growingstronk 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The key is to have her associate positive emotions with pleasing you and negative emotions with losing you

And self esteem issues for the rest

[–]1empatheticapathetic 4 points5 points  (2 children)

These guys are the naturals with game. Know how to manipulate better than women since the early days since pussy was never on the pedestal. It's an actual game.

[–]SetConsumes 2 points3 points  (1 child)

There are no naturals. No one popped out knowing shit about women. It's all learned.

[–]Unbent_Fury 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course it's all learned. But some people have characteristics and positive experiences that shape them into so-called "naturals" whom embody aspects of TRP subconsciously.

[–]rp_newdawn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Passion is attraction, all emotion (positive or negative) will make her go wild for you. Do this when you want to attract them early on.

Being their rock / stoic is how you calm the emotional storm. This is a reward for good behavior in someone that has at least some value in your life. You help them by simply being the calming force (not by trying to fix their problems).

As with many dualities on this sub, both are true just in different amounts depending on the situation.

[–]LaRedPill 91 points92 points  (11 children)

Romance is not dead, romance is what alpha do.

Simple example:
Saturday 1: Call my girl at 8am on a Saturday, wake her up, tell her I am outside her place to pick her up. Hilarity ensues, since I was at my place in my comfy bed.

Saturday 2: Go to my girl's home at 8am on a saturday, call her, tell her I was outside. Hilarity ensues since I was fucking there this time. Kiss her, tell her to dress fast, casually, and to grab a coat (wasn't a cold day, but... you will see). Then drive 300km to the coast because I wanted to go, no prep, and no warning, she figured out we where going there after I drove over 150kms.... Spend the weekend there, fuck in the beach you know the drill...

To me? A fun way to fuck with her head, and a nice weekend at the beach, and great sex.

To her? The most fucking romanting thing someone ever did to her.

[–]1NPIF 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Light-hearted headfuckery plus spontaneity = mad 'Gina tingles

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I use a slightly different move: On Tuesday I tell her to be ready to leave on Thursday evening or Friday at noon, with a bag packed. I will say whether to pack for cool or warm weather, and that's it. Then I let the hamster go to work.

It accomplishes two things, in her mind:

A. "This guy is unpredictable and cool."

B. "This guy is decisive. He leads; I follow."

[–]Peter_B_Long 11 points12 points  (7 children)

But, why the coat? Please explain.

[–]ChadThundercockII 15 points16 points  (1 child)

To avoid getting sand in your genitals.

[–]LaRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This, too you don't want to fuck with sand, pun intended.

[–]d0lphinsex 23 points24 points  (1 child)

She's obviously a centipede.

[–]LaRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can get cold at night at the beach.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Coat instructions required. Pls respond.

[–]rp_newdawn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so fucking brilliant, I love the foreshadowing headfuckery. Laughed out loud on the subway, thanks

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse 15 points16 points  (1 child)

4th wall emotional confessions have a silly way of breaking the immersion

This, this this. It fucks up the flow of the conversation. A woman's reaction to 'heavy' stuff is to do anything in her power to get it to stop (includes leaving you/going off to another guy/blocking your phone number). There's nothing she can say to heavy except "No". As someone who has made this mistake a couple times:

Don't speak at length unless it's about something you're passionate about (quite distinct from just emoting at length, like a woman).

Don't 'confess' your feelings. Don't write long apologies.

In fact, don't so much as send a text over 80 characters.

[–]theONE843663 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Man it's all about the fucking flow mann... Maybe men should read 50 shades just for education. If a woman breaks 4th wall emotional crap, we go and think: "Yeah she likes me imma get laid!" Women think: "Yes I'm scoring this decent beta!"

When men break it, men think: "She will be impressed I'm not like the other guys trying to use her!" Women think: "Do you even alpha bruh? NEXT!!!"

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (6 children)

Thought this was going to be another "lift bro/don't be a fatty" post.

Was actually a good post.

[–]Themeparkmaker 83 points84 points  (5 children)

Lift bro, don't be a fatty

[–]Manirvo -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

What about being a fatty lift bro?

[–]Sandman616 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about lifting a bro's fatty?

[–]beAn0n 23 points23 points [recovered]

One of the best moves I did down TRP road was shut off modern country music. Fuck. That. Noise.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (13 children)

Most music I hear these days is basically the same crying over your misfortune crap.

Empower yourself. What you listen resonates with you.

[–]ShagrathBG 9 points10 points  (2 children)

It wasn't until couple years ago that i realized people on the internet equate music to lyrics. Before that i was really confused, reading people's opinion on music. Maybe because i'm a musician, maybe because english is not my native language, but for me lyrics are of really low importance, exeptions for rap/hiphop (since there isn't much music there anyways) and lyrics that say stuff i've come to my own conclusion about (which is rare). I listen to the melody of the lyrics, the meaning comes forward only if i intentionally listen to it. I can listen to a catchy tune, enjoy it and filter out the bitching. Since it's the same way with my friends too, i though everybody differentiates music and lyrics, but i guess i was wrong.

[–]SetConsumes 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Only musicians do this I think, or people that want to analyze music. Part of why I love death metal, endlessly intricate instrument work, and I have no clue what they're saying(and don't typically care, though the lyrics are usually good anyways).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IMO the importance of lyrics depends on the song, working out to Amon Amarth for instance the conquest stories just pump you up more, but if I'm browsing reddit listening to nu-disco or vaporwave all that matters is that delicious beat.

[–]Buchloe 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Rap is about the only thing semi realistic

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

There's a subset of lots of genres that preaches truth, though I do concede that rap has a lot higher reality-levels than other genres.

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Got any recommendations? My default with rap is UGK. They aren't bullshitting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I don't really listen to a whole lot of rap, so I have very little I could recommend. Outkast is good but not typically a rapper, I like Roses. DMX, Eminem are two others I can think of, but you probably already know them.

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Oh I meant other genres besides rap

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

WELL then... this is in no particular order, writing his while I'm on the bike at the gym so I apologize in advance for formatting.

The Pillows, specifically hybrid rainbow and little busters

Skogsra primadonna


Amon amarth

Seven lions, falling away

The cult, she sells sanctuary and fire woman

Electric octopus, their whole 3 songs.

Electric safari

Dion and the Belmonts, the wanderer

Modest mouse, dashboard and we all float

Basically all of monstercat, but specifically Tristam,feint,the pegboard nerds,and anything with danyka nadeau singing.

We were promised jetpacks, circles and squares or thunder and lightning

Shinedown, junkies for fame


Frank sabanci, :)

The glitch mob

Cage the elephant


Joe satriani

Yoe Mase, thrive


Most classics like the rolling Stones and dire straits




Griz good tImes roll


Oh wonder

Mega deth


Chaos chaos, do you feel it

Motley crue


Marilyn Manson

Sky fall



Dance with the dead

Studio killers

That's a pretty good list I think. Not all of it, mind you. If you've spotify I can just share it all.

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice! Thanks. I also recommend Ruby don't take your love to town. Just pepper her ass with a shot gun

[–]Sandman616 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have been listening to rap more and noticing the innate RP-ness of it. Sad when it gets bundled with BP R&B though. I swear 90s R&B is comparable to Disney when it comes to hackneyed relationship tropes.

[–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been the worst for years. Turn the rebel country from the 70's and 80's back on.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Just when I think this sub has gone to shit I get a post like this. Spot on, bro.

[–]PickleChomp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There should really be a moratorium on any more lifting really works, FR=>AWALT calling every single woman involved good or bad a cunt, etc. We get it and it's been reaffirmed. Rants are okay; a lot of folks come here for moral support after all.

But just holy hell, it's like everyone's minor success story is special for some fucking reason and they have to share. I'd rather hear a shitty RP theory that gets me thinking about a better one.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it seems like there was a huge influx of teenagers a while back. I can kind of dismiss the rants, some people need that to get past the anger phase. But holy shit are there some pathetic motherfuckers on here.

[–]rp_newdawn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A subreddit full of men trying to not be shit is always going to be full of the literary layers they are shedding...

[–]Conceited-Monkey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is also way easier to be fun, as opposed to deep and meaningful.

[–]Rumzdizzle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good stuff... I started employing this after LTR mourning period and it just puts less stress on game in general. Had some success too and some failure. The failure hurts less when you go about things in a casual manner.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I was sure this was going to be a post about not being fat.

Good stuff here, though.

[–]Gearski -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think if OP tried a bit harder he could've worked that in somewhere.

[–]MyStepdadHitsMe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post. I've made some of these mistakes. You explain things in a way I don't often think. Good shit man.

[–]redditatt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

4th wall emotional confessions have a silly way of breaking the immersion..

"Never break the 4th wall" is sidebar-worthy

[–]1empatheticapathetic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's essentially breaking frame.

[–]Lo-G 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything you write really harkens back to one of Greene's types of seductors from The Art Of Seduction. I highly recommend that you go out and read the chapter about "The Natural" in that book.

[–]rizzlad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

this is re-hash of the age old "girls love a guy with a sense of humour" how anyone takes movies and disney bullshit as gospel is beyond ridiculous

[–]eucalyptusleaves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was a fantastic read. Thank you friend

[–]stirringlion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't need to spend lots of money on her to be worthy. I liked the part about just taking her for a walk. If you are high status enough, then getting to go on a walk with you is more valuable than some $80 sushi. If you don't feel confident that going for a walk with you is enough to woo her, then you need to keep working on yourself. In that instance you are a prize below what this contestant deserves. You can be bitter about it, deny the truth and try the beta provider approach, or just accept that the reality is 'you think you are a more valuable prize than you are'. The beauty is; the value of you as a prize will appreciate and appreciate if you keep working on yourself.

One of the best litmus tests of where you are status wise is indeed just going for a walk with a chick. If you haven't been seeing yourself objectively that walk will be an awkward cringey kick in the dick. If you have been working on yourself consistently, focusing on your mission, you may be surprised to find you have climbed higher than you thought. "The truth is the truth, either bend to its will or be forced to live a lie." - Paraphrasing someone else.

[–]Stythe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first part is probably the reason people used to say TV would rot your brain. You spend so much time in fantasy world's that your morals become those fantasies. It seems now our culture is so consumptive on media that those tropes that were once exaggerated and endearing have become stereotyped then turned around on their heads and repeated. In fact, looking at the PC culture of victimhood, I think of how Eminem originally used racism as his come up because he was the "white rapper" in a black culture or how in Die Hard 3 Samuel L Jackson plays a racist black man partner alongside Bruce Willis.

Now these tropes have been switched to the white man being the villain but it's all the same shit.

Anyway back on track, your point is dead on. As someone who stopped watching a lot of TV when I was 15 I noticed a divide between myself and many others. It made socializing more difficult at first, but you start to notice who actuslly has a life and who just kills time pointlessly. It also helps you to develop character when you can vomit the same opinions at each other.

[–]PawnToKing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are people

Number one thing TRP tends to forget. Also, great post. I agree, casual is better. Also makes you look less needy because you're not invested.

[–]newName543456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The person you should be is the casual guy, the fun guy. Not the one who tries to integrate Disney-level tropes about love and happy endings into your relationship with whatever girl.

In case anyone wonders, because it hasn't been very explicitly stated, you should REJECT those tropes altogether for your own good.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What if I can't be arsed to take her out for some low-budget casual food or a fucking coffee.

[–]maxrp -2 points-2 points [recovered]

The solution is look further afield to Russian and Thailand for women with traditional values. Western women are a complete waste of time.

[–]Gearski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For fun and flings local is fine, for a LTR I agree with you, you really can't change a girl who was raised in our culture, or at least it isn't worth the effort.

[–]JackGetsIt -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I don't really understand what you mean by 4th wall emotional crap.

I still don't think your post really explains what you mean by 'heavy.'

Do you mean 'traditionally romantic?'

My experience is that anything works if you're already an alpha and or already establish your higher SMV to her. In fact women will act like they are into whatever the date is if they already formed in their head that they like you.

[–]SetConsumes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heavy like, talking about serious depressive shit. Don't start talking about how you're suicidal or your aunt just died, etc

[–]lozboss -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

Good post- but I'm not interested in "being their escape" or their "emotional dumping ground" - that's Beta and Bluepill.

Rest was spot on.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Being their escape isn't necessarily being an emotional dumping ground, imo. To me it means, leave your bad emotions at home, come here and have fun emotions to escape your crap. Then it leads to sex, bingo, Not Beta. I see what you mean though, posts can be interpreted differently sometimes, hence discussion.

[–]theONE843663 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You ever tried being a new age spiritual alpha bro that thinks anything can be cured with weed and relaxing? Only hard part is getting the bitchez to actually bring some weed with them. I swear to god women evolved from leeches.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I actually believe that stress is way more detrimental to your health than people realize, so I fully believe everyone should be as relaxed and happy as they can be, even for their health's sake. Don't take life too hard, even the really bad shit. And yea, women bringing the weed, rare but great when they do.

[–]drydorn -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I thought your title meant don't be fat.