Red Pill TheoryTalking to you was the most exciting thing she did all day (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by offthebeatmeoff


I've spent a lot of time with women in my life (sexually, platonically, family), and most can agree with this statement. Almost all of them are bored out of their minds. Most girls go to work/class go home, lounge and watch netflix, eat some food that's awful for them. They then proceed to stay up late watching some crappy movie then wake up miserable to repeat the process. For some you can throw in an extra activity like going to the gym or cooking. Most aren't doing that so I'd say my breakdown is fairly accurate for a large portion of women (and sadly men too).


As a highlighted before, most girls days are insanely mundane. Forget those pics you see on social media too of them having "fun" on the weekend. Have you ever gone out with groups of girls? It's fun, but most of the time they're just buying cute drinks or a beer if they want to look cool, and then taking multiple selfies and group pics to make it look like their having a fucking blast. Most of the times girls go out and dress up in groups like this is mainly for attention. A small proportion are actually looking or are open to a casual penis in the mouth or booty, but most are not down for anything, but validation.

If you ever talk to a girl in the middle of the week i.e. flirt, even if she's not interested she'll be pretty flattered. If you're an attractive (lean, well groomed, well dressed) guy or at least look cool, most girls will be excited that you'd even compliment them or say anything nice.

On the other spectrum, even if you're not great looking and the girl is kind of rude or mean, she's still pretty excited. Now she can go home and humble brag and complain about how some creep said she was sexy or hit on her. She'll be happy with the self esteem boost even if she rejects you.

Even most sexy girls are not getting hit on often in the middle of the day. Most guys will stare or creep and say nothing. I've seen it happen all the time. Most guys only approach with a steady helping of liquid courage, and doing it then has no real impact and means nothing. Getting hit on by you in the middle of the week/day is the most flattering thing and exciting thing that happened all week.

Even I get excited when a girl compliments me and says something really nice to me. It sticks in my head and can really make my day or week. It could come from an old Hispanic lady at Shoprite telling me how tall and handsome I am or from a girl at a bar. I still get pretty happy when I remember a girl calling me muscular a week or two ago.


Most people are bored. Hitting on them or flirting with them is the most exciting thing they'll do. Even if you strike out they'll still be excited and happy about it in some way. Quit being selfish and go make someone's week.

TLDR; most girls want some attention. It makes them feel cute/validated/sexy when someone hits on them or gives them a nice compliment. Worst case scenario she rejects you or calls you a creep

[–][deleted] 201 points202 points  (23 children)

Excellent post.

I always say that most beta guys are not "afraid of rejection". They are held back by the fear of "annoying the girls."

They don't approach them because they think the girls want to be alone, only want to talk to each other and so on. It's the beta programming, they want to be considerate: leave them alone because there is a chance that they might be a nuisance to them.

Once you understand that most women love meeting new people, approaching them becomes much easier.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 55 points56 points  (1 child)

Most people like to meet new people. A compliment from a stranger means more than nice things said by your loved ones because it seems so genuine. That stranger really has no benefit in talking to you even if he wants to put his wiener in your buns.

[–]vagbutters 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A compliment from a stranger means more than nice things said by your loved ones because it seems so genuine.

Ding ding ding. When said compliments come from a guy she has tingles for, it's the highlight of her day. From a beta, it's just easy validation for her.

This is why you observe women's actions, not their words. If you're overweight or scrawny, you get no genuine compliments. When you're fit, well groomed, and have an ounce of game, you'll get them easily.

[–]SpeakerToRedditors 8 points8 points [recovered]

I never feel that I am "annoying the girls" if it's just a girl by her self. but I feel that I am "annoying the girls" if they are in a group especially if it is a co-ed group and I approach. Are you saying that even in a group of women you are not annoying them?

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 15 points16 points  (14 children)

Are you saying that even in a group of women you are not annoying them?

If Brad Pitt walked up to talk to thier group, would the girls be annoyed?

No. They would be excited and happy.

So, therefore, it's not the walking up and talking that annoys them. It's the beta-ness of the talker that annoys them.

Solution: Lift some weights, buy clothes that fit, shower and groom yourself, and then go approach girls.

[–]verify_account 20 points20 points [recovered]

Look I understand this statement, but most of us are not Brad Pitt. Even those of use who lift are still not anywhere close to that. It's not that simple for some guys to get past that line of thinking.

[–]hahayeahthatscool 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Dude it's even more so the case with groups of girls. Don't you have a group of friends you see everyday and know all about? Wouldn't you get excited if a young cute girl walked up to you guys? It changes the dynamics of the group entirely, a very welcome change of pace. Now there are tinges of competition and someone new to talk to/about. Worst case scenario your failure will inspire a lively conversation about making fun of you when ur gone or teasing you while you're there. Either way, they are having fun and are kind of excited now. You did that.

[–]OmegaMan2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The advice is solid. Lift as if your life depended on it, dress well, etc, etc, etc...

By doing so you will vault yourself ahead of 90% of the guys out there.

If you have a fear of approaching the hot babes, then start out by talking to girls you have no interest in. You'd be surprised at how easy it is. Then up your game and go after the ladies you want. The key is confidence. Chicks can smell anxiety a mile away and it turns them off.

[–]anabolic92 0 points1 point  (9 children)

I do all of that but as I'm balding I can't do any of that, balding is like a death sentence for us young males

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Bullshit. "Balding" is simply someone too chickenshit to shave that shit.

Shave your head and grow a stubble-beard. Now you're a fucking action hero.

EDIT: Does Jason Stratham whine about being "balding"? NO. He does not. He simply shaves his head.

Does Vin Diesel whine about being "balding"? NO. He does not. He simply shaves his head.

Does the motherfucking ROCK whine about being "balding"? NO. He does not. He simply shaves his head.

Stop being "balding." It's lame.

[–]anabolic92 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Hey thanks for replying.

Your examples though won't apply to me, I'm not as rich or famous as the people you listed.

I shave my head with a razor everyday in the morning, I go to the Gym ed, I trim my beard x2 a week.

I take good care of my self and invest time into being fit and looking good, destiny though played a hard hand on me and me bald young.

Even though I shouldn't seek for aproval on women, sometimes it's just hard, because as girly as it might sound we all like to feel attractive and have attention from the opposite sex.

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Your examples though won't apply to me, I'm not as rich or famous as the people you listed.

I'm pretty sure that in an alternate world where nobody ever heard of the Rock, that someone as ridiculously buffed-out as Dwayne Johnson could probably walk into a random night spot and have women ready to go home with him.

Also, look at Jason Stratham and Vin Diesel... even without fame or money, a sixpack and a masculine frame is a sixpack and a masculine frame.

People who go to the gym everyday are lightyears ahead of some random "Dad Bod" beta with a full head of hair.

[–]anabolic92 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Yes I understand, still besides the fame and money Dwayne is an over the thop male regarding height and muscle mass.

The thing is regarding the sixpack is that 99% of the time you will be with your shirt on, so it wouldn't matter, facial features are what count most when attracting females and balding pretty much destroys them.

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Yes, balding makes your face irrelevant...

...but the shaved head, or the action-hero head-stubble look, makes just about any man look more masculine.

"Balding" is unattractive because it's evidence of insecurity, as some poor fucker hangs onto the last few strands of hair in sadness.

Shaved heads on masculine men are attractive, because it shows he could give a fuck about hair. It projecrscan attitude like, "Hair is for women and metrosexuals like Fabbio. I don't need hair, I have balls."

Own the look.

[–]anabolic92 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hey let me start by saying I appreciate a lot the time and answers, but I think I might be a lost case.

I am balding but I shave my head ED if as I mentioned it before. I'm legit shredded with my abs popping out of my stomach, I can send pics.

The point is that any women ever has paid interest to me, besides the efforts of the gym, diet, shaving ed...

Am I supposed to wait until they end to ride the cock carrousel at their 30s to get any attention? No thanks, I've a good job and finishing my master degree, rather spend all my money on prostitutes than being a provider.

Trust me I have the badass look because I have a few tattoos, ear rings, the beard, fir clothes to the point that someone I think I come off as intimidating, which is bad also.

I don't know maybe balding is not my problem, there's something bigger behind it but from my own pov it has literally ruined my youth and obv a part of my life so far.

Also by any chance, are you bald/shaved as well? You'd be surprised how life changes around you, it has happened to a lot of us who shave that our mothers and loved ones tell us how bad it looks, and constantly tell us to grow our hair out, which is ultimately an indicator of how bad it looks.

once again thanks for your time

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is regarding the sixpack is that 99% of the time you will be with your shirt on, so it wouldn't matter

Btw, wearing form-fitting tight t-shirts will show off your six pack.

[–]scrodzilla 7 points8 points  (0 children)

True, although I used to be terrified of getting rejected in my BP days, too.

[–]HappyMexican 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot. This is something I still struggle with too and I feel its hard to put it into clear words but that's exactly what I been going through as well. Rejection will always hurt, but I know there is very little I can do about it a lot of the time. Really its the "over empthy" problem. I don't want to make their night worse by bothering them if they wish to not be bothered. All my family are very considerate nice people, so that was in grained pretty early on. Over consideration.

[–]chaseemall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent excellent point. Total fucking truth.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I just want a guarantee if Im going to put in some effort to talk to some girl she is going to let me fuck, give me her number, let me fuck, suck my dick, pretty much let me fuck......

This is why I dont like just randomly going up to and talk to many of these bitches.... Unless they approach me or make it clearly evident that they want me to ask for their number and/or they are going to let me fuck. Also Im somewhat shy depending on the day. I was at a place a couple of weekends back, and a top notch bad approached me. She said that I was cute, and that she want to fuck the shit out of me.....Her ass was PHAT. She said I shouldn't be so shy. Maybe I should take OPs advice and go up to the girl I like, We shall see.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 46 points47 points  (5 children)

Many people are beguiled by the illusions they have of other people, and how others appear to live their lives. This is especially true in this era of social media BS. Their beliefs are based on the fantasy other people project.

Those who see reality for what it is, can bend it to their will ... those who see only illusion, are bent to its will.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Yeah you're right. The goal of most of my posts is to try to instill some common sense in a lot of these guys. Nothing I'm saying is really groundbreaking in any sense. Girls are wired differently, but they're still regular people. Facebook, Instagram and all that crap isn't real. It's a fluffed up highlight reel of people's mundane lives.

"OMG Jill just went to Vegas. Look at all those sweet pics she put up"

Jill was in Vegas for 3 days. She went to 2 clubs and maybe had casual sex with two or three guys, maybe none. She tooks tons of pics and for the next 5 weeks she'll go back to the boring grind of doing nothing.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Damn, 2 or 3 guys yet only 2 clubs. They live in a different world.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That's just some. Some might have no sex at all and very few might take it as a challenge to get as much genital on genital contact as possible. Everyone goes to Vegas for different reasons. Girls going for EDC will behave differently than girls rolling around with High Rollers.

[–]rigbed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The key thing is there just aren't that many alphas worth fucking and making life exciting. That's why alphas are girls' whole worlds and they fawn over them regardless of what they do, lingering over their alpha widowedness.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Confirmed. When I started serious red pill day game approach, and I saw how a life of a girl looks like... man. "Be exciting for her" suddenly means take her for a walk in a cool place where she can't get easily with public transport.

When I saw how boring their lives are, I became way more confident. Divorced dad, shared custody, sober, so what? That few hours with me can be way cooler than anything she did that week.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]zuixihuan 11 points12 points  (11 children)

Completely agree with everything you said.

To add to it, I think most of the times a girl will blow a guy off is not because he is ugly (girls idea of attractive is more subjective than a guys is x100) but because of the creepy/awkward factor.

The funny thing is betas do this to themselves. Just have to remember that every human interaction is a battle of frames. When a guy is super nervous to approach he comes in with a "oh no, please don't react badly" frame. Then that's exactly what happens. The girl has a "Is this guy a legit potential mate?" defense system up at the start because that's what she was instilled with from evolution beginning before the cave-man days.

This simple frame overpowers the betas worried frame. The girl's frame beats the beta's. It's all downhill from there.

Sometimes guys even come in with a good starting mindset and then it begins to breakdown when the girl doesn't instantly fall into his frame (ie continuing to seem aloof and condescending, shit-testing, etc.).

But some girls will have a stronger frame than other. Some girls are more wary than others.

You just always have to keep yourself in your mindset. Your frame should always be stronger than whatever girl you are talking to and eventually she will see that your frame was way better than her's was and she won't throw you in the reject category.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 8 points9 points  (7 children)

The better looking you are or at least the more cool you look, the less likely you are to seem creepy/weird. A HAWT guy comes across as cute if he's a little nervous, and quirky if he's a little awkward.

[–]zuixihuan 1 point2 points  (3 children)

True to a certain degree. But I would bet on a guy with a confident mindset over a purely attractive guy any day of the week.

I'll give you an example. One of my circles of friends has a few guys who are stereotypically "hot."

But if it was a competition between them and let's say the dudes from RSD (who are just average looking guys), the RSD dudes would destroy my friends at gaming. 10 times out of 10.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

None of this stuff is 100%. Getting fit, getting style, getting a cooler life, getting cash, and having game will dramatically improve your odds, but at the end of the day some of it is luck. There are guys who have it all and still have to go home after hitting the bars and make sweet love to Pamela Handerson.

[–]zuixihuan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I also completely agree with this.


I think all the points we both have made are true and can stand on their own.

[–]verify_account 2 points2 points [recovered]

Excellent point. If a girl thinks you're really attractive you can do almost no wrong.

"awwww, he was a little nervous that's cute!"

[–]rigbed 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Cute doesn't get you laid unless you have great social skills and build popularity and social proof.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If you got any approach anxiety it means you have not yet internalized the fact that b****** ain't s***

Put the song Ain't Nothing Like Pimpin by Too Short on loop and listen to it for a week straight. It will help you get your mind right

[–]aRedThought 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I have this idea that a lot of guys new to the game struggle with what I would call "reverse autism "

Basically otherwise normal guys overthink social interactions to the point that they don't approach or are afraid of rejections. This fear of being seen as autistic prevents them from even trying, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Girls want to get hit on, guys want to hit on girls. You have to put yourself out there. Chances are the results will suprise you.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I get that way sometimes too. It happens when I'm a little anxious and it's pretty normal. It's a little nerve racking to talk to hot girls. I've dated, fucked, and have been friends with some sexy girls and I still get pretty nervous at times and need to pysche myself up by telling myself this common sense stuff that I write here.

[–]RedPharaohRising 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is probably my biggest fear when approaching - "is this a person/context where approaching is socially backward?"
Sometimes I'll get in my own way, sometimes I'll just go ahead anyway. Plus, we learn socially - so if you're doing something no one else is, are you insane, or are they?

[–]ekilic911 6 points7 points  (2 children)

TIL I live a most girls life.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

In you're defense, I did say that's how most people live in general.

[–]ekilic911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh no. I know it's a trash lifestyle

[–]PawnToKing 11 points12 points  (11 children)

A small proportion are actually looking or are open to a casual penis in the mouth or booty,

This is such a weird fucking statement, even by redpillers standards. What a great way to say casual sex, haha.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 6 points7 points  (10 children)

I'm not a big fan of vulgar language so I like to be imaginative with my words instead of just saying things like "out to get fucked", or "looking for cock".

[–]PawnToKing 3 points4 points  (6 children)

I actually respect that a lot, man. I used to try to not use profanity, but didn't last long.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 8 points9 points  (5 children)

When I was in the Army, I noticed guys use it like crazy and it was funny and cool at first, but it got old fast. It eventually gave me the impression that person was uneducated or just dumb in general. None of that was necessarily true, but it seemed that way which is pretty much just as bad. That triggered me into actively avoiding talking like that.

Maybe you need a similar trigger to make you avoid no no words.

[–]landon042 2 points3 points  (1 child)

FINALLY I remember at school, guys interested in the army in our jrotc bs would cuss all the time thinking they're cool.

I always thought, dude can you use one sentence without saying fuck?

and actually thought he couldn't say anything without cussing to impress people.

I get what why you stopped, and without a doubt I dropped all people like that. and just the other week. as I was doing schoolwork. This girl was working on a computer near me

she kept saying things to herself "fuck this is hard" "Fuck this" trying to get my attention. she did this for 30 minutes.

I was so annoyed because this bitch thought that was attractive or something?

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I had that sudden shift into perspective just hearing people use words like that frequently became a huge turn off. The words lose their meaning and it just becomes annoying. I think it's tasteless. It's extra repulsive in women. Also I'm around children a lot and I really don't like them hearing that kind of language.

[–]MrMatmaka 0 points1 point  (2 children)

There's a steady balance of when to swear and when not.

Depends on the setting too.

Finding that balance takes some people longer than others and sometimes the balance is different based on personality and not just setting.

Some of the toughest/coolest dudes I know are apt to nearly never swear. They will do it at a moment when it has the most impact and is most warranted.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great point. Like you said. The reason it has it's sting is because it's never really said. The words have actual meaning to them

[–]stirringlion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ditto. Their value/impact goes up if you use them scarcely.

Eg. I was hanging out with my mum and sister the other night (stab away), and my mum asked me to get her a drink of water as I'd just walked into the kitchen. I started getting it for her without verbally responding, and as such she she repeated her request again. I paused for a second, then called out from the kitchen - "I heard you the first time, bitch." Normally I'd never swear at her, she's real catholic, but you gotta play each ball as it lies, the joke killed and we all had a laugh.

I've worked a lot of construction and I think it's similar to the army, it just gets old so quick. Blokes use cussing as a replacement for "um"... which is probably not any better anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's ok man. Just keep trying. It doesn't help with girls or anything, but vulgar language is an ugly habit and it looks nicer when you don't speak that way.

[–]masterpiece00 58 points59 points  (22 children)

yes, lets all live our lives to appease them, because i mean - these vapid girls, they need an extra boost of validation, especially after arriving in her BF's Audi 1.8t to their executive assistant corporate jobs on M/t/w/t/f/onday, repeated the grand story to 3 sets of groups about their fabulous weekend they spent. Checked their email, facebook/instagram and twitter for new likes on the 100 selfies should took and strategically uploaded.
But sure, give them even more attention and join the line of dolt men doing the same all to assure this bs generation of gurls feel secure in the direction we are headed.
All she needs is more guys whom she can feel good about politely rejecting in the movie in her head as protagonist disney princess.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 50 points51 points  (6 children)

There are some vapid girls like that out there, but most girls really don't have anything like that going on. Most girls in their early 20s are in crippling debt doing a stupid job because they got a degree in doo-doo. They're bored and a little lonely and they upload so much crap on snapchat, facebook, instagram and so on because they just want some attention. A little attention from real people is better than a 100 likes for most of these girls.

[–]HuddsMagruder 28 points29 points  (4 children)

And not just these girls, most of humanity. The loss of genuine contact in favor of cheap online interaction is a big reason for the rapid spread of narcissism.

A "Like" is vague positive feedback, not constructive in any way but to boost an already falsely inflated self-esteem, a fragile one at that. Self-esteem based entirely on one's perception of the perception of others is bad.

These girls, and most young guys I have seen, have accomplished little to nothing of real worth and have no hard, valuable skills. That leaves them with no framework to hang their self-esteem, so it's more like a hot air balloon that needs a constant stream to keep shape than it is a building that needs only proper upkeep.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Facebook likes and online validation is the equivalent of masturbation for most women. It feels good, but it's shallow and it's no substitution for the real thing.

[–]kanyewost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

facebook for women is the equivalent for porn for men

both are getting off to fake shit

[–]greatslyfer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yea, lately I've been thinking how many of those pictures posted online are just a validation machine for the poster?

They put these cheesy ass quotes in their description and I'm thinking that ok this might be just an innocent spur of the "I don't care what anyone thinks of me" moment, but I'm willing to bet most of them are not. They really do care what other people think of them, so it's all just an act.

[–]HuddsMagruder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone who makes the claim "I don't care what people think of me." aloud and often really, really cares.

[–]BestSC86 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hate much....geez, the anger is seething out.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I live in NYC and I've only seen one girl in my life get hit on by a complete stranger during a bus ride. I don't think it's as common as people make it seem

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We talk it about it here on TRP so people narrow their attention and believe it's more common than it really is. It really is very uncommon.

[–]DopamineKid 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Great post and point. I remember a month or so ago the cashier at a store told me how ripped I was complimenting me on my physique. She was a hideous creature, but she totally made my day and I was thankful for her and let her know as well. It felt so good to be recognized for your efforts, gave me motivation to keep blasting forward. The concept of constantly interacting with the environment socially is the key, no matter who you are engaging. I get so lost in my head and lost in the anger that when it comes time to talk to the hot girl I freeze like a bitch. I need to work on being social at all times and staying hot. Being social is like being in the bull pen. your more likely to throw a strikeout to the big batter when your nice and warm. Same concept applies with socialization stay warm and strikeout that HB9 that just eye fucked the shit out of you.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I've never been a fan of the "staying socially warm" theory. Yeah it's awesome when you're in fucking zone and it's idea to be there, but you won't always be "socially warm". Sometimes you just need to have a system or psyche yourself up a little. Maybe it's something like "I'm the guy that actually hits on sexy girls I see, not stares at them and masturbates to the thought of her". Hitting on girls and meeting them should be part of an overall lifestyle. It makes things a lot easier that way then going out specifically for it.

[–]trippinallday 2 points3 points  (1 child)

For me it's all about the vibe. If I've been hanging with people and fucking around all day I'm in the mindset, but if I've been working or something it usually takes me a pretty good amount of time to get into my zone socially.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. I get a fair amount of socialization and I at times forget sometimes people just don't get to talk to other people for long periods of time.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

When texting a girl during the week that you just matched with on tinder is the same thing everytime. You just have to be more intresting then netflix and wine.

they hate there job, there is a creep that they work with that is somehow the worst human being on the planet, and is always infatuated with them, they just wanna have fun and travel. They are always bored with their life and will text you back instantly if you text them every hour or so.

You set up a date for Thursday, and see them again on saturday. Match with a new girl on Sunday and repeat. And keep the good lays for Friday dates ever other week or so.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most people just want to be as happy as possible. Will hanging out with you make her happier than wine/netflix? If the answer is yes she'll probably hang out with you.

[–]InChargeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It might just be me, but I get a lot of amusement by spinning up the hamster wheels on every-day acquaintances. The old push and pull. Not really trying to game them, just do it for fun/practice and to watch the reactions. Some women I see daily, some days I'll game them, other days when I can tell they are looking forward to it I'll pretend I didn't even see them.

I happened to see one with her husband out and about yesterday. She lit up like a Christmas tree and the poor dude looked like a dog with his tail between his legs. He wouldn't even look up and make eye contact, just kept looking down and away. Kind of felt a little bad, for a second.

[–]j3nbu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but most are not down for anything, but validation.

Important stuff right here. Intermediate level problem is lack of screening. Sticking with a girl without screening to see if she is dtf just because shes being accommodating.

[–]FractalFactorial 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is a great way to start not giving a fuck, and I think this'll help me maintain frame. Thanks

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best of luck to you man. Starting is the hardest part.

[–]RedPharaohRising 3 points4 points  (4 children)

To all you fuckers, this isn't about feeding validation or any of that shit. It's for betas and alphas in training who haven't done daygame and want to approach women but are scared of being creepy/socially awkward/getting their nuts ground.

It's for guys who want to get better to make a few mistakes and accept that these mistakes are fine, there's no penalty and there is huge potential for growth.

It's not easy when you start. There will be doubt, many many failures, minor lights or progress, and backslides. But eventually 1 step forward 2 steps back will become 2 steps forward 1 step back. And you'll start to make it, and you'll believe it, and the doubts will slowly fade away.

Went from one number in 3 months who was interested, to 3 numbers over the last 6 days after a genuinely great interaction.
This was over 7 months. Get out and start slaying, niggas. The world is yours for the taking.

It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
Bookmarked, OP. I'ma read this whenever I head out (which is getting more frequent too!)

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Good for you man. It seems nerdy, but I psyche myself up a little before I hit on girls I find sexy. This stuff is a little intimidating, but you took the hardest steps. Best part is you're still improving and can only get better.

[–]RedPharaohRising 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yeah, so do I. I'll still pussy out, but it's less than before and RSD videos and their national blueprint really help!
I'll listen to some great music, finish a project, something like that to get in state and feel great about myself.
It's still hard, but I'm getting better at it. Go for it!

[–]ender278 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sorry, I'm an idiot, but what is RSD?

[–]RedPharaohRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real Social Dynamics - a channel devoted to self improvement, overcoming mental barriers and learning how to kill it with women. They're famous as fuck in the seduction community and are really good for overall personal development.
They hold bootcamps and seminars all over the world (like Julien, who was banned from Australia a while ago for teaching men to pick up women). Their style is no gimmicks, just go with the flow and be uninhibitedly yourself, the best version of you, be unapologetic and bold, etc. Really good stuff for beginners and advanced.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All women dream of swooning when their handsome prince finally arrives and whisks her away...

Great essay

[–]babybelly 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Soo starting with "hey you're pretty" is ok if your goal is just to make her happy without intention to bang

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah if you take it to that extreme then sure. I've walked up to girls and said "hey I think you're sexy and wanted to talk to you. MY name is [insert real name]." Or you could be indirect and compliment something that she actually worked on or put together (earrings, outfit, hair, nail polish blah blah), as you talk to her and indirectly flirt with her. I like pulling the bandaid off hard and fast so I go full retard and say something extremely direct. I like to get my yes's and no's fast and hard.

[–]joh2141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe this can help people get over fear of initiating a conversation with girls. It's really not that scary and worst case scenario one dumb broad is gonna think you're a creep. I remember I used to hang out with this extremely pilled out guy who would stop his car in the middle of traffic to start hitting on a girl just walking by. It flattered her and made her super excited that he would obstruct traffic just to say that to her and get her reaction.

[–]ThatHoeOverDere 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Choose your words carefully. The worst thing a bitch will do is falsely accuse you of mental rape and have you thrown in jail for years, or ruin your name even if you manage to escape big brother.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

There are girls like that out there, but I'm really not worried about it. Most girls are pretty normal human beings outside of these stupid liberal echo chambers. Even in the stupid echo chambers, they're not really practicing what they preach. They get excited when a cool handsome guy talks to them.

If you say two words and they freak out then they're obviously trouble and you walk away.

[–]rigbed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this post. Out of everything on redpill this has never occurred to me

[–]Cantpumpthefrump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sad but true.

cant count the times my ltr has said. "im so excited to come home and see you, why aren't you excited to see me?".

When I think about how mundane the average office working females life is it makes sense.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually had a longer chat with my landlords wife than i did with him. She seemed genuinely pleased and even talked about comic-con with me.

It was...interesting. Her daughter is slightly younger than me.

Self jerking aside

It always amazes me how I am chat about how I get 40 miles to the gallon now and chicks seem interested. I mean, I'm excited cause I live saving money and I'm boring as fuck, but what's her excuse?

[–]Geleemann 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't give out free validation unless it's warranted.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have noticed that this is one of the reasons it's so hard to talk to women at times. It's way easier to talk to guys you've just met, than some women you have known for a long time.

[–]aherne18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

most of the time they're just buying cute drinks or a beer if they want to look cool, and then taking multiple selfies and group pics to make it look like their having a fucking blast. Most of the times girls go out and dress up in groups like this is mainly for attention. A small proportion are actually looking or are open to a casual penis in the mouth or booty, but most are not down for anything, but validation.

This! Most people here are under the impression girls going to clubs are getting stuffed, but in real life they are just validation seekers that don't fare so well on social media (because, at least here in Romania, they're generally UGLY) and hit the clubs to show how much fun they've had. What they do:

  • get drunk
  • check their mobiles all night long
  • dance to show how much fun they have
  • revel on the occasional super-drunk beta that has the courage to approach her (and get rejected, or have a pointless "numbers exchange")

[–]fugued -4 points-3 points  (6 children)

My girl gets approached and talked to everywhere, any time of day. She shares them all with me, we have a running "corny pickup lines" list. She gets a little validation spark from it, and I'm not threatened by these guys so she tells about them.

However...I don't share with her the many smiles, hi's and extended chatter that I get. She is a bit jealous, and an inquisition will surely arise if I bring it up. But I too dig the positive vibes and the tacit compliment that comes from these tiny little transactions.

Just last night we were sitting at a bar watching all of the evening's sports. two empty seats next to her. Two guys sit down and immediately started talking to her, tossing out a line about the cold air blowing from the A/C. She replied "I'm ok my boyfriend is really hot" - Bam they went to sit somewhere else. She slayed em, it was hilarious. So we both got validation from it, and a laugh.

[–]TedTheAtheist -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I don't know. That's kind of a little mean. It makes the guys feel and look pretty awkward. I mean, I guess if you just want a laugh that's ok.. but it's a little mean.

[–]fugued 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't agree, it was harmless and nobody's egos were bruised. She launched the reply herself, I was not even aware of what had transpired until I heard her statement. No Bro was harmed in this event.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a great fucking comeback. She's adorable.

I keep harping on this in askTRP over and over, but it never sinks in for most men... you don't need to help a girl to reject guys. "Well I'm the boyfriend, so tough luck buddy", it steals all her thunder, it's awkward because of being over-eager. Women are professionals at rejection, been doing it nearly every day since she popped out tits at 13. Let the pro do the work, just watch and laugh, chances are it's going to be devastating.

[–]mehdreamer -1 points0 points  (1 child)

until hypergamy hits your hard brah.
This guys has probably lower SMV than you...but what if you're not there and she get hit by a hight SMV guy?

[–]fugued 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh. It does happen. But...Abundance.

(haha I just now noticed that you have "meh" in your ID).

[–]lulalady -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

Just curious. Are your days not mundane? What are you doing that makes your life interesting?

It just seems as though you are asserting that you are in fact not one of these bored people.

So I want to know what's compelling in your day-to-day.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Nope my days are pretty mundane as well. I workout, I work, I'm starting a new job, I read, I practice my writing by posting to TRP once in a while, I do hw for this certification I'm earning, I'll play volleyball twice a week or so, I hit on girls, I go out sometimes with friends. Sometimes I'll take a cool trip, but 50% of my days is the same shit I did yesterday. That's life. Even so, I know I get more interaction and my life in general is more exciting than 90% of people out there. I like what I do. I still play a sport at a very competitive level (I win cash prizes, not much though), I get laid more than 90% of guys out there (1-2 girls a month, more when I'm not busy like I am now.)

[–]__Archaeus__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And to add to that; I would say it isn't the "cool" shit you do throughout the day, it's how awesome you are at doing the things you do.

In my frame, everything I do is "fun" or pushes the social boundrys. When I talk to people, they want to hear what I have to say cause it's not the norm. I put people on the spot; tease girls, talk to strangers, etc; so anytime a girl hangs with me, she has shit to talk to her friends abaout: "Oh my god, like, today, Archaeus said the craziest shit to this girl! It was soooo funny. She was totally red in the face." (Or how ever girls talk)

As long as you're always awesome, how could they resist.

[–]xypez -1 points0 points  (4 children)

where do you go to get laid?

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Depends where I am. Back when I was living in North Carolina, I got laid most often at Duke University. I'd go there and usually 1 out of every 3 nights I'd go back with a girl to her dorm room. Sometimes I'd be cold 2 weekends in a row. Sometimes I'd get lucky 2 nights in a row. Logistics were in my favor since most girls had dorms or apartments walking distance away. Same scenario at UNC. Raleigh was hit or miss for me.

[–]xypez 1 point2 points  (2 children)

meh, not possible where i'm from. I live on a small island in the Uk where nothing happens. No night clubs, just a few pubs and theres barely any young girls, just a bunch of middle aged people

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I strongly suggest moving. Improvement is great and all, but this is a numbers game. Improvements increases your probability of getting lucky, but you need to hit on chicks too. Can't do that if there are no girls around.

[–]xypez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

easier said than done my friend. I'm trying to save enough money for a down payment on a house then I can move. Right now i have to bide my time living with my parents and saving as much money as possible =/

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

If you ever talk to a girl in the middle of the week i.e. flirt, even if she's not interested she'll be pretty flattered. If you're an attractive (lean, well groomed, well dressed) guy or at least look cool, most girls will be excited that you'd even compliment them or say anything nice.

Depends on where you are.

Lots of girls in major cities (usually middle class or above family background) are super entitled and have the "I shit test for a living" look in their face.

If you haven't solidified your ego and self worth, approaching randomly is the worst thing you can do unless you're surrounded by relatively friendly girls that'll play along and hand you their number and never text back if they aren't interested.

Girls fish for compliments all the time, which is not something than men usually do, so it sticks to you more than some random girl with loads of validation from orbiters and cock carousel hook ups.

[–]offthebeatmeoff[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know the face, and it's mostly just a front. Some girls just look like that, and a lot are just grouchy about how boring and shitty their lives are. Most of them aren't sick of all the validation they get. A majority of the time, a compliment from a guy she finds attractive will put her on cloud 9 for some period of time. It'll be less time than most girls if she's very sexy, but it'll still make her feel good.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you haven't solidified your ego and self worth, approaching randomly is the worst thing you can do

No. OP already pointed out the worst thing you can do; stare or creep and say nothing.

[–]amekooky -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't compliment/validate because you are just feeding their ego, however I do agree giving them conversation is great even if just for practice.

Yesterday there was this very pretty waitress at BWW who was definitely pregnant (thin complexion big bump), I knew I wasn't getting anywhere with that obviously (baby bump, not thanks lol) but I did give her shit about the check for awhile, and when i grinned with a just kidding look on my face she eye fked me for the longest time. So no im not there to make HER day, im here to make MY day and practice on any decent looking woman.