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Field ReportFR: First date, she says she wants an open relationship; a month later, she's trying to lock me down. Lol (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by FastForward99

Summary: Girl asks for open relationship, realizes I'm getting laid more than she is, and demands commitment. Girl gets dropped.

Body:

This is one of those "You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means" situations with regard to open relationships. The whole thing is pretty textbook, though.

I started dating girl #1 (I'll call her Abby) this spring, and established pretty early that it would be an open relationship. She actually seems to enjoy hearing about my conquests, and keeps hoping for a MFF threesome. A few months in, she's addicted to me, and I change the rules a bit - open for me, closed for her. She complies, mostly because I make it clear that if she doesn't, I'll simply drop her. During the summer, I have a couple short-term flings, which Abby seems cool with.

A month ago, I start dating girl #2 (Betty), and on our first date, she broaches the idea of an open relationship. I usually don't raise the issue until we get to the "define the relationship" phase, or any conversation about commitment comes up. I go with honesty, per my personal policy - tell her that I'm dating Abby, who knows that I'm on a date with her right now. She says she's cool with that, we break a bunch of her first date rules, and bang a couple days later. A few days after, she's gotten a taste of my dominant side, and she's asking me to tie her up, anal, etc.

Fast forward two weeks, and Betty is freaking out. Tries to drop an ultimatum - "take a break from Abby for a month, and just be with me". I tell her I'll think about it, then go radio silent for a couple days. Next thing you know, Betty apologizes, rolls back the ultimatum, and is in my bed again.

This weekend, Betty has another freak-out, and again demands commitment from me. This time, I make it clear that I'm not going to do that, and I'm more than willing to drop her if she's not cool with an open relationship. She stops by today to pick up a few things she left here, which I bag up ahead of time and leave on the porch.

Little does Betty know, but Abby is at my place sucking me off while she grabs her stuff. She texts me that she knocked, and that she just wanted to hug me one more time. Once I get off, I reply that I was home, but I just didn't hear her.

So, it must be over with Betty, right? No, she spent the evening texting how much she missed me, and sending me nudes. Plus, during the past month, Abby has stepped up her game: cleaning my place, doing my laundry, bringing me liquor, begging to be tied up and fisted, etc.

And all this is with me admitting to both girls early on that I have psychopathic tendencies. They both want to "fix" me. Good luck, ladies.

Lessons:

  • A girl asking for an open relationship is actually asking for you to be a cuck. If you're getting other pussy, she'll change her mind pretty quickly.
  • Fuck and dominate your girls well, and they won't want to let you go.
  • Hard dread game works wonders on both existing and new relationships.
  • It's possible to Alpha Widow a girl in a very short time - in a month, Betty went from "open relationship", to "you can do whatever you want to me" (one of my favorite phrases to hear), to demanding commitment, to "I had given up on finding a man like you", to "you've broken me".
  • Unshakable frame is everything.

Update: Betty just texted to ask if I'm free tomorrow night. Lol again.


[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 309 points310 points  (4 children)

Fix you? But you've worked so hard to become broken.

Chicks just don't understand.

[–]FastForward99[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

That's beautiful, brings a tear to my eye.

[–]NoFapMat 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Seconded. This is a beautiful post!

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I hope that one day I have the opportunity to say exactly this.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 103 points104 points  (1 child)

If you have options, they can't fuck with you.

[–]i_love_crazy_hobos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Even if you don't have options, if your emotions are able to be coralled. You don't actually need a woman in your life (nonetheless if you don't have you should fucking do your best to get some)

[–]Ledhabel 351 points352 points  (90 children)

This is how women end up stabbing men. Watch out man.

[–][deleted] 106 points107 points  (53 children)

exactly this happened to one of my roommates in college. one girl got so jealous she literally stabbed the guy in the ass with a 8 inch chef's knife.

[–]FastForward99[S] 39 points40 points  (47 children)

All parties involved are in their 30's. I can see that happening in college, but not now.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (33 children)

if one is BPD, it doesn't matter her age.

[–]FastForward99[S] 63 points64 points  (32 children)

My ex-wife of seven years was BPD. I know the warning signs well, and stay the fuck away.

[–]Luis_McLovin 26 points27 points  (30 children)

Do tell us, I'd love to learn from your experience and how to spot BPD.

[–]CryptoManbeard 41 points42 points  (5 children)

It's easy, she'll want to develop an insanely fast attachment to you. That means wild crazy sex and telling you how amazing you are and how you're soulmates and wanting to spend as much time as possible with you early on. She'll be the victim in every story she tells.

Those are the two easiest to spot. I've also noticed just a general tendency to be looking for attention, as people with BPD are social chameleons and will need to fit in.

[–]ministypill 6 points7 points  (2 children)

She'll be the victim in every story she tells.

I probably will use this as the warning sign.

[–]CryptoManbeard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah they'll never come out and say it though. You have to read between the lines. "My last boyfriend was such an asshole." etc etc etc. If everyone in every story was mean or an asshole or abused her or etc, the common denominator is her.

[–]Trpidation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By that qualification, 80% of women are BPD. In my opinion calling a bitch "BPD", which flies around way too often here, is just a label to put on a crazy bitch and makes it easier to say "fuck her I'm glad she's out of my life". Sure that's nice and everything to get an easy out, but that's what bitches do. Sack the fuck up and just admit: all bitches are crazy, and some bitches are completely totally fucking crazy. That doesn't mean they're clinically BPD.

This is coming from experience, I called my ex BPD while I was getting over her. Turns out she was just a crazy bitch who I let get out of control.

/rant

[–]ornitorenk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit, this happened to me a while ago. Did not know it is called BPD, I just thought "This bitch be cray"

[–]melb22 27 points28 points  (14 children)

High-functioning BPD can be difficult to spot. A lot of the giveaways are hidden in their past. They won't let you know, but if you were to look back you would find a lot of broken relationships with family, friends and colleagues with most of these people perplexed and wondering "what happened?" The thing is, they have learnt to keep part of their subjective reality to themselves, because they know it is likely to alienate the other person, so there is a front room to their mind (which they present to the world) and a back room (their subjective reality - what they are really thinking). When things are going well and they are happy (e.g at the start of a relationship) they are generally able to hold things together. At the end, when they are dysregulating, much of what they were really thinking comes out - disastrously.

Anyway, a few things you might spot early on:

  1. They might develop the idea that someone is against them, has crossed them in some way, without giving a really good account of why - it is kept vague.

  2. They haven't been able to stick to things well in their lives, e.g. previous relationships, careers (but they will attempt to hide this)

  3. Easily irritated by relatively small things

  4. More sensitive to criticism than is usual

  5. Will bear grudges, not let things go (this is related to the concept of "perseverance" - in which negative events continue to colour the thoughts/moods of a person long after the event has finished)

  6. Sensitive to "injustices" that others would let go of

  7. Might be "waif-like" (not all are) in presenting as vulnerable, needing your male strength (which can be attractive for some men)

  8. Might be moved by the plight of animals, but be cynical about humans

  9. Possibly won't have the normal regard of a daughter for her father and/or mother - a more stepped back relationship than normal

Recognising BPD will be something of a cat and mouse game, with her trying to present in a way that you won't spot it, at least not until it's too late.

[–]BobbyPeru 16 points17 points  (9 children)

You've just written a list describing women in general. Of course, there is a continuum.

[–]MelodyMyst 5 points6 points  (5 children)

While it is true that many of these characteristics are common amongst women it is the extreme degree that defines it as BPD.

[–]BobbyPeru 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed. That would be the other side of the continuum

[–]tallwheel 2 points3 points  (2 children)

BPD is just extreme female brain, as autism is extreme male brain.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's be absolutely clear for the young men reading these threads. Everyone has a borderline personality including us. Borderline simply means you have an unstable view of your own identity. Borderline Personality Disorder an extreme version of this. RedPill is partially about defining ourselves so we aren't changed by other people's views of us -- making us less borderline.

[–]BreathOfDick 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Reading through the list.... yeah that's every ex girlfriend I've ever had, and none of them have BPD. Gotta agree with you on this one.

[–]harsha_hs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

seconded. that's every ex I've had too. Present one's are slightly better though, but you never know.

[–]muh_posts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% male brain = autist

100% female brain = BPD

[–]FastForward99[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This. My ex-wife has broken off all contact with her family over the years due to seemingly tiny things.

[–]Byxit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Knew a high performing woman with BPD. She was a psychologist. Had gone through four marriages. Number five found she was banging a patient, got her struck off. Months later he died with his new girlfriend when their tent was struck by a hit and run. Always suspected her for this.

[–]obama_loves_nsa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol damn that's like every woman I've ever dated/LTRd

Shit! Help a brother out!

[–]newme1252016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

BPD

oh shit bro i think you just described someone i used to know

[–]Whoretortle 8 points9 points  (3 children)

My ex-wife is also BPD. I'll happily include a primer to this post when I'm off work.

[–]Unripe_rp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's a self professed, prideful psychopath... Don't bother

[–]Lo-G 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Absolute refusal to take responsibility for freaking out over the smallest shit.

[–]Im_a_Mime 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That's called being a woman.

[–]enjoyit7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought the same thing, when they say borderline they fucking mean it. Yea one minute she's being a normal crazy woman next minute you have a 8" chef's knife up your ass.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 30 points31 points  (1 child)

When you said Abby asked to be tied up and fisted, it was clear she's in her 30's.

[–]-TempestofChaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't have to read her mind? Woooaahhhh

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If she's still doing that shit in her 30s, well - remember, somewhere out there is a poor gullible beta guy, probably a decent chap, but thoroughly bluepilled and probably blueballed as well. And this guy would have met that fucked-up woman you're boning, would have fallen for her in no time and would have had a terrible life with her.

You're doing God's work by keeping her off the dating market, mate.

[–]FastForward99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just got divorced after marrying early. Low N-count, never really got on the carousel. I'm just broadening her horizons. She's got her issues, though.

[–]Moneyley 4 points5 points  (7 children)

The comments above yours are the problem with fucking red pill. Some dude (YOU) is like "thanks red pill, look at what Im doing" you've changed your life for the better by implementing red pill principles in your life.

Top comment is "you're gonna get stabbed"

I can post the same exact shit tomorrow and everybody is like "good job man" and asking for advice

Its fucking bullshit for someone like you to master some TRP principles but then half of the sub is like "nah man, watch out"

In my view, congrats...if she wants it in the ass, give it to her. If using her helps you run game with other chicks then do it. Im all for abundance mentality.

BTW: Having a woman cleaning up your place is the shit. Congratulations, most women nowadays have been programmed with feminist ideologies thus wont do anything that involves cleaning for you. Looks like you may have yourself what is considered nowadays as a "submissive".

In my experience, I can confirm that these women do exist. I'll treat that woman good #NoBeta and I try to structure the relationship as close to the term "gf experience" as possible (if your familiar with escort terms)

Stay on your game breh

[–]FastForward99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, man. I appreciate this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stab that bitch back. Call the cops and call it self defense.

I'd start a crowd fund for your lawyer fees.

[–]LAERAYALP 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I've had a situation with bitches seeking out bitches in public.. stalking other bitches in their place of work and other weird shit. This was way before redpill knowledge. I am monk mode now aka recovering from too much damage done. I wonder how plate experts keep bitches off each other?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

move to a big city. live in a penthouse with excellent security and multiple exits. use the exits to your advantage, so they're never coming in or leaving via the same exits. never let the doorman buzz her in... even if building policy allows it. always go down and get her. always tell her how security is really tight in the place because big whigs live in the building. she'll think it's standard policy that she won't be able to get in without you physically present.

i had 2 BPDs who practically used up all my phone storage with the texts they sent, but never once came over on their own.

that's not to say you can't let plates find out about each other. the first time i did it, i left 2 wine glasses in the sink. eventually graduated to leaving an empty condom wrapper on the floor. women see that shit and compete hard.

[–]FastForward99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Abby and Betty cyber-stalked each other, and Betty stated badmouthing Abby towards the end. I'm not worried about violence, but you're absolutely right, it is an issue when an open relationship goes sour.

[–]Dr_Frogstein 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haven't laughed this hard on reddit in ages. Lmao.

[–]FastForward99[S] 39 points40 points  (34 children)

As in, "if I can't have him, no one will"? That's why you don't stick your dick in crazy. At least not BPD kind of crazy.

[–]The_M0rning_Star 73 points74 points  (25 children)

It rather sounds like anyone who fucks you is insane. So....probably still watch your back

[–]hyugafan 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Ditto. Had to learn that one the hard way. Stitches are a bitch.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–]hyugafan 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Only if you buy me a drink. Or ten.

    [–]-TempestofChaos- 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Only if you buy me a drink. Or ten. In return

    [–]hyugafan 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    Heh. Nothing to tell really. I was a typical beta idiot, got roped into the "damsel in distress from a broken home" act, found out she had bpd, attempted to leave after nearly losing my job dealing with an outburst. She threw a kitchen plate at my face. It shattered and left a 7 cm gash on one of my cheeks. Ran the fuck away, went to the ER, told em I fell. They stitched me up, i moved out of town. She was fucking Tyrese McMethlord a week later. And that's when depression happened, followed by me getting better, finding this amazing board and started the long process of getting myself out of the gutter. I have mental health and self esteem covered, moving on to physical health and wealth as soon as possible.

    Fuck, didn't mean to ramble. Thank god it's happy hour.

    [–]rexbacchus27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Good work my bro. So many of us have carbon copy stories.

    I got a baseball bat to the shoulder; she also took my dare of a free shot to the jaw. I made out ok physically and that was the last of her physical attacks.

    I stayed for 2 kids (one born very ill) so anyone judging can get fucked.

    2 yrs post-divorce, my emotional frame is close to impenetrable because I can't be hurt again. I don't hold women in anywhere near the esteem I once did. The best advice I have found here:

    WOMEN ARE ONLY A SIDE DISH.

    Dammit if I had only known that 10 yrs. ago. Much love to my brothers here. I am with you.

    [–]Ledhabel 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, that, and in an "I hate you for making me love you and torturing me" way. In any case, just watch out.

    [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (37 children)

    Never not assume manipulation. Know how. Many guys are assured their girl likes women, before they settle down?

    [–]FastForward99[S] 41 points42 points  (28 children)

    This was actually part of the conversation. Originally, Betty and I discussed a threesome with Abby, before jealousy kicked in. Abby says she's bummed out now that it didn't happen.

    At the end, Betty accused Abby of manipulating me; that if I wasn't with Abby, I'd be ready for a committed relationship. I agree that Abby stepping up her game was a subtle form of manipulation, trying to stake her territory, but I'm totally fine with that.

    The funny part is that Betty was also trying to manipulate me, just overtly with demands, versus by being a better plate.

    [–]suske127 36 points37 points  (2 children)

    Abby; "Stay with me because I'm valuable" Betty; "STAY WITH ME CAUSE I SAY SO"

    Seems like you made a good choice man

    [–]FastForward99[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    Abby is definitely TRP aware, and knows what I value in a woman.

    [–]maxofreddit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This is the best relationship advice, ever.

    For both sides.

    Just....yes.

    [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    you should really read more omlala posts. He's the authority here right now on multiple plate theory. Just got back after a few week journey, be ready to learn more on this subej

    [–]kittythecat77 0 points1 point  (22 children)

    Jeez, I think these girls are way too fucked up. Reading all this stuff makes me feel like an alien. Do I need to let a man fist me/have anal/threesomes etc. to keep him? I'm so confused right now.. Am I considered entitled or useless if I don't feel comfortable doing any of these things? (Just think that I don't even take nudes btw, I just don't want to, I think it's stupid, even more so to send them to a stranger. How do I know he's not a sick psycho perv? A ex asked me to sent him a photo of me the first time we chatted and I sent him a selfie, he litterally couldn't stop laughing, he wanted a nude photo of course. LOL Wtf is wrong with me? Next level aspie perhaps? I really don't get it guys..)

    [–]1SeemedGood 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Do I need to let a man fist me/have anal/threesomes etc. to keep him?

    If you are attracted to guys who need to do that stuff with/to you then yes, you do need to do it to "keep him." But know that you won't actually be "keeping him," you'll just be giving him what he wants.

    Sending (nude) photos of yourself over the internet is one of the stupidest things one can do, but again, if the guys to whom you're attracted need the nude photos sent, then you'll need to send them.

    ...Or, you can make a different decision about the guys that you're attracted to, but that would take some conscious self-critique and a conscious effort to reprogram (improve) yourself.

    [–]frenchpuppy2 2 points3 points  (9 children)

    No, just be nice and caring and stay away from the red pill sociopaths.

    [–]kittythecat77 0 points1 point  (8 children)

    I'm starting to realise that most men are at least game aware if not red pill sociopaths. At least that's what I think since I found red pill. I just feel like I can't compete.. Being nice and caring are good qualities, but men value sex the most. Even if I meet an alpha who wants a LTR with me, I'll be thinking that he did all these things in bed with others and perhaps would find me the most boring person sexually. It's disappointing. He would always have plates, that's a given.. It makes me sad. I read about exclusivity in RPW and I doubt if a high value man will ever be exclusive with anyone. On the other hand, I could be the best sex he ever had and he would still cheat on me, so... at least I could rationalise him cheating/having plates because I know what I'll be offering sexually won't ever be enough...

    [–]Mr_Andry 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Stop making assumptions. Not all men are into extreme sex acts. Not even on TRP. And some men want to learn RP truths in order to make their LTR stronger. They just aren't the vocal guys.

    A shit ton of the advice in this sub applies to women as much as men. Want success in relationships? Be the best version of yourself that you can be, respect yourself, set boundaries and stick to them, know what you want and stop wasting time placating people who don't matter. This is real shit, not feel-good nonsense that feminists spout. If you are not attracting the kind of partner you want, then you need to improve your health, style, and confidence. Giving somebody everything that they want is never the way to keep them. You keep somebody in your life by being somebody they admire and respect.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I've been in multiple LTRs. A couple years ago, I had three girls on a regular basis, went on a couple days with another one, and a week later, had dropped the other three. The relationship ended two years later for other reasons, but when I find a truly high quality woman who I'm also extremely sexually compatible with, commitment is an option.

    In terms of holding onto commitment, your enemy is boredom/complacency. Try positions, toys, rooms, locations, etc. If you keep him sexually interested and satisfied, he's less likely to stray.

    [–]verily_rp 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    Translation:

    I'm not like those other girls! Look how different I am! Attention! Give me your attention! Look how high value a woman I am!! I'm totally not a slut!

    You're not even trying to see what's valuable to guys. If you're going to flaunt, at least put some effort to make it convincing.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Nudes and masturbation pics/videos are required in my world. I don't fist all the girls I date, but it's a ton of fun if both parties enjoy it. Same with anal.

    [–]kittythecat77 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    What if a girl wouldn't want to do any of that? Would you reject her?

    [–]FastForward99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    For any sort or LTR? Yes. For a short term plate, no.

    [–]relativebeingused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's a big if. If you are attracted enough to the guy you are with, all that stuff suddenly becomes exciting despite your personal hang-ups. So, unless you are planning to settle for someone who doesn't turn you on that much, you don't need to worry about not wanting to do any of that stuff. It just comes naturally.

    [–]baseballfan901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Nothing is wrong with you, and you don't need to date sociopaths to get a LTR.

    Just be a good person, look out for the person you date genuinely, be a traditional woman who will cook and clean when necessary, be committed but not needy so you won't one day up and leave but also not constantly harass him, don't nag, henpeck and bicker and just annoy a man's brains out, which for some reason women can't understand how to give up. Most guys are not going to demand these extreme sex acts, even if they may fantasise about it. But we do want a good woman in our life, preferably who looks good, and conducts herself very well.

    [–]MrRobotsBitch 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Im curious how "I get to sleep around but I've decided you don't get to anymore and if you aren't ok with that I'm dumping you" is not manipulation from him?? Everyone involved in this story clearly has some serious personal relationship baggage and issues.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    It's totally manipulation. So is much of game. Consider if someone goes "radio silent" on a girl after she misbehaves. Isn't that a form of manipulation? But that's commonly considered good advice here.

    What you need to decide is where to draw your personal boundaries on manipulation.

    [–]MrRobotsBitch 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    excellent points. very true. thanks :)

    [–]-TempestofChaos- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This entire sub is about manipulation.

    Know what? It's better to manipulate than be manipulated. How many women go about flaunting themselves for special favors.

    They do it using looks, we do it using our own character and force of will.

    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    it is. so is crying to get sympathy from men.

    life is manipulation

    [–]Mr_Andry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's honest, so it's not manipulation in my opinion. She has the choice.

    [–]SDSAM21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My experience is they don't mind sharing, the LTR just doesn't want your seed finding a way to the plate's egg.

    [–]KazarakOfKar 42 points43 points  (13 children)

    "you've broken me".

    Something inside of me loves when a woman says that, last woman who said it got the simple reply of "No sweetheart, you were broken as a woman long before we ever met". Yeah that one went a bit crazy from then on, like one of those hosts in Westworld losing their cornerstone memory.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 28 points29 points  (8 children)

    I love knowing I've Alpha Widowed someone - it's happened in just about every relationship lasting more than a month for the past four years. Knowing that I've set a standard for them, a point of comparison that will last for years.

    However, I don't personally like causing pain post-breakup. Not because of remorse, but because it goes against my moral code.

    [–]lnTheRearWithTheGear 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    That's what my exgf told me. A couple others have expressed similar thoughts. Granted, I don't believe it for a second... "Yeah, you cheated, and yet somehow I broke you? Fuck off."

    It's definitely a huge ego stroke, but it's also a lie. At the end of the day, that truth is what matters.

    At the same time, I do hate it because I know there are real feelings that are hurting. I'm tired of bad relationships, and I'm tired of getting hurt and hurting other people. MGTOW is starting to hold a lot of appeal for me...

    [–]e4tshit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    because I know there are real feelings that are hurting. I'm tired of bad relationships, and I'm tired of getting hurt and hurting other people.

    It's a game we have to play. Healthy happy long lasting relationships could work but it would first require her and I slowly placing our shields and swords on the floor at the same time. The problem with that is she'll always have another dagger hidden behind her back. I liken modern day dating to a poker game. Hide your hand at all cost and call her bluff.

    [–]aanarchist 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    and women wonder why men don't respect them

    [–]Calebrox124 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Micheal's Story, then TRP Handbook, then rest of sidebar.

    [–]redditbattles 19 points20 points  (15 children)

    Hang on, am i missing something, you changed the rules so that you can fuck anyone, but she can't?

    [–]FastForward99[S] 53 points54 points  (14 children)

    Yup. Basically, I said I didn't want her fucking anyone else, and if she didn't like it, too bad. It's incredible what you can get away with when you give them the best sex of their life.

    I'll admit, she does get some other benefits - occasional small presents (<$20), sometimes I'll cook for her, and a couple free trips (airline and hotel points).

    [–]Luis_McLovin 38 points39 points  (4 children)

    Don't understand why this is being downvoted.

    OP got a chick who's happy to cuckqueen herself as the partner in an LTR.

    Sounds good to me.

    EDIT: It's not downvoted anymore, keep this here as it provides context, OP has got it good

    [–]boomscooter 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Sjw crowd likes to brigade and downvoted everything here.

    [–]-TempestofChaos- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    More like people didn't read the sidebar and internalize it.

    I'll be honest, I didn't finish too much, but I just stopped caring about people. If it works for you, fucking awesome.

    I ain't about to tell someone else how they're an ass if they get what they like and she goes along with it.

    [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    You're only getting downvotes because people are pansies

    [–][deleted]  (31 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]Squeezymypenisy 38 points39 points  (11 children)

    The post was good until I read that part. After that i started laughing.

    [–]redisthecoldestcolor 31 points32 points  (2 children)

    All I want is a field report that doesn't have something im14andthisisedgy.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I'm mid-30s, have my own house in easy walking distance to downtown nightlife, and a very successful career. It wasn't meant to be edgy, just honest.

    [–]redisthecoldestcolor 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    You know very well that I'm referring to the "I have psychopathic tendencies".

    But hey, it's your life, and your story. If it makes you happy then own it.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 16 points17 points  (5 children)

    Why? I included it to spark conversation around:

    • How you can admit to massive red flags, and women will still love you/want to fix you, if your SMV is high enough
    • Dark Triad traits and their value in dating - it's been a while since the subject has come up, and thought it might be valuable to the newbies to be exposed to the topic

    [–]Squeezymypenisy 17 points18 points  (4 children)

    I tend to go by this rule: Unless a licensed professional has diagnosed you then I wouldn't say you have it. In my opinion self diagnosed dark triad is like everyone saying they have add. You're a man. You don't need a personality disorder to do whatever you want.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Not from a psychologist, but two therapists I saw clearly identified me as such.

    [–]Mr_Andry 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    This thread has seen some weird voting patterns.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    No kidding, it's been fun to watch today.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Is this something to be proud of? lol

    [–]TurnDownForWhat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I was thinking just the same. Yeah I'm a psychopath talk just seemed cheesy. Almost like a he needed some sort of fuck up to be a card carrying member of TRP.

    [–]-TempestofChaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well...in society's view, TRP is fucked up.

    Two generations ago, this was normal. Now it's psychotic. So he's not wrong.

    [–]FastForward99[S] 11 points12 points  (17 children)

    Classic Dark Triad stuff - lack of empathy/remorse, egotism/narcissism, manipulative/Machiavellianism. Not all my traits are dialed all the way up, though, so I'm not a danger to society. Read "The Wisdom of Psychopaths" to understand how these traits can actually be positive in our current society.

    [–][deleted]  (15 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]FastForward99[S] 17 points18 points  (14 children)

      You know how when someone yawns, you sometimes "catch" the yawn? I don't.

      A girl can be crying on my shoulder during a breakup, and I don't feel a thing. I'll comfort her, but it's about going through the motions that are expected by society, not because of actual sympathy. I can make my eyes tear up a bit when I need to, though.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]FastForward99[S] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

        Read up on Stoicism - you can emulate some of the traits without the mental flaws that lead to the actual condition.

        [–]Luis_McLovin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Hopefully Abby doesn't think she can actually "fix you" (lol) and rather has "accepted" you in the "way which you are" (lol)

        [–]7a7p 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        I have the "empathy" of an emotional pregnant woman watching puppy videos. I feel too much for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and it causes me to put myself second in almost everything I do.

        Ironically, I understand what you're dealing with and wish I could help hahaah

        [–]relativebeingused 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        If you are trying to make other people feel better so that you can feel better, you are not putting others first. There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy/compassion. Basically, compassion makes you want to help others, but you don't feel bad just because they do, or because you aren't helping them effectively. What you are describing is more like co dependency and a need to control, betrayed by the statement "putting others first." It is never one or the other first.

        [–]7a7p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I said "put myself second" and was referring to my tendency to not compete if it means someone else may lose and that loss may affect them negatively. For instance, I was offered a job a while back and I actually recommended my co-worked for for the position because he "needed it more than me".

        [–]bluedrygrass 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        You know how when someone yawns, you sometimes "catch" the yawn? I don't.

        A girl can be crying on my shoulder during a breakup, and I don't feel a thing. I'll comfort her, but it's about going through the motions that are expected by society, not because of actual sympathy

        Lmao. And you think that stuff makes you a psychopath? What are you, 14? That's the age when you complete a sudoku in 10 minutes and think you're a math genius. you sound exactly like that.

        Dude, not feeling anything for a crying bitch is perfectly common and normal. Bitches cry for everything, and after 1.5 minutes are perfectly happy again.

        And you would be a psycho? You watch too many movies.

        [–]marplaneit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yep the same thing happens to me.

        [–]Rufferto_n_Groo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I don't know why you've been downvoted on other comments when you talk about Dark Triad and psychopathic tendencies. With all the 48 Laws of power shit posted on TRP i'd think that commenters would understand. I suppose there's some thin skinned cucks still around...

        [–]baseballfan901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        dropping chainsaws down staircases.

        [–]OhAndOneMoreThing 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        Please don't try this if you don't know what you're doing. OP is admitting to "psychopathic tendencies" so even though he chooses to be honest, we're venturing into Dark Triad territory.

        Not that there's anything wrong with that, just don't be a noob and try to copy his style...that might get you stabbed.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Agreed entirely. As I mentioned in another comment, you can learn to emulate some aspects, but it will probably be pretty awkward for a while, and potentially dangerous.

        [–]throwawayurbuns 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Dabbling in Dark Triad is usually fine as long as you're not messing with other people who have real Dark Triad traits.

        [–]BobbyPeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Don't stick your dick in crazy

        [–]abbafishhead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Despite my high n-count, I've always harbored jealousy over guys who can get multiple girls to fight over them and have oneitis for them, pay for their shit, cuckquean themselves, etc. I've never been able to achieve that in my dating life, and I admit that I'm insanely envious of you.

        I have nothing to contribute, except that you're living the dream.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I generally ignore their words, but pay attention to their actions. I just loved the sequence.

        [–]7a7p 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Man I need to start reading up. Where should I start?

        [–]rarejeb 2 points3 points  (4 children)

        And all this is with me admitting to both girls early on that I have psychopathic tendencies. They both want to "fix" me. Good luck, ladies.

        I feel like a real psychopath wouldn't admit it.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        It makes things more interesting, and is a pretty good test of attraction/addiction. If they still want you after you admit to something like that, they're hooked.

        [–]rarejeb 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        That's not my point. I'm not convinced you're a genuine psychopath. Have you ever been diagnosed as such?

        [–]Mackland 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        They both want to "fix" me. Good luck, ladies.

        This is some shit that I would say, needless to say I cracked up when reading it. Cheers, you sick son of a bitch!

        [–]Docbear64 5 points6 points  (7 children)

        I enjoyed your field report , this sub still doesn't have a lot of love for Open relationships ( I get it to each his own ) but I have enjoyed being in one myself . It's all about honesty right ? you express the terms of your relationship early and as a grown woman she should be able to accept / understand what she's getting into . if she can't after the fact then like you did , you just show her the door , I wouldn't change my arrangements for a chick either .

        The crazy girl angle makes no sense to me because just a few days ago the story about the committed father whose wife was a cheating whore and slit both of his kids throats when he motioned for divorce was popular here . A crazy bitch is a crazy bitch , you're not going to drive her to be crazy enough to commit murder if she wasn't a crazy bitch in the first place so I agree , just don't stick your dick in crazy .

        The best part about being in an open relationship is there is already an air of preselection . I've met so many women who are into me once they hear I don't need them and I have a chick who's already waiting and knows that I do and will see other women . I get the question " and she's fine with you sleeping with other women " to which i've replied " She doesn't have a choice" and that gets their mental machinery working .

        I've also experienced situations where I have a good time with Girl B and Girl A works that much harder to prove to me she's my star player . Women can be competitive as fuck .

        [–]FastForward99[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        The preselection aspect can't be overrated.

        I was out with Abby, one of her out-of-town girl friends, and her boyfriend. When the girl friend heard about our arrangement, she got visibly turned on, and started doing kino on me. Abby and I tried to convince her to ditch the guy and come over for a threesome, but no luck, she's faithful to her man.

        [–]Docbear64 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That i've found fascinating too , I've had married women mention in disappointed voices how " My husband would NEVER go for that" . It's fascinating , I don't know if they say it because they are disappointed that their men couldn't maintain an open relationship or because they want freedom and an open relationship would give them a hallpass to re-enter the cock carousel . It definitely seems to get them turned on though that one man can have control over multiple women .

        [–]Denver_Luv3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I enjoyed your field report , this sub still doesn't have a lot of love for Open relationships

        That's because (realistically) most of the guys on this sub are imagining themselves getting the short end of the OR. I personally love them and will likely never go back to a conventional relationship, for reasons that some of the posts in my posting history describe, or under /u/denver_luv

        [–]tallwheel 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        this sub still doesn't have a lot of love for Open relationships

        I think OP is basically using the term as a more socially accepted word for "plates".

        [–]Docbear64 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        perhaps , but he seems to have a main chick and then other chicks on top of her. To me plates tend to all have the same position in your life just are different women . of course the relationship structure can change pretty drastically from one man to another.

        [–]tallwheel 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Well, I have heard the term "main plate" used here before.

        [–]Docbear64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        that's a great point so maybe you're right and it's just a language mixup.

        [–]newmeforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You are king.

        Cheers and be careful :)

        [–]1StuttBuffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The savagery is delicious. Thanks for sharing.

        [–]JohnnySkidmarx 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Bringing you liquor? You lucky SOB.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Liquor, cigs, toilet paper, whatever I need and am too lazy to get. She pays for it all, too.

        [–]fcb98292 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        If she had been honest, she would have said "I want an open relationship, so I can look for a top-value man and then cut you loose." I guess you are either the top-value man she was looking for, or the top-value man dumped her and you were #1 on the stand-by list.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        During the 'breakup', her words: "it's like looking through a window, seeing what you want, and not being able to get inside".

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

        [–]thisornothing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You're confusing your life with John Rambo again

        [–]PizzaSaucez 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        High cheating risk. Prepare yourself.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Abby or Betty?

        Abby has already gotten on my train, but Betty hasn't gotten my ultimatum yet. I need another month-ish with her to make her forsake all others just to be with me. It's worked with plenty of girls before either of them - you just have to wait until they're fully addicted, then there's no other man who can compare. Not that I'll hold onto either of them for the long haul, just until I get bored.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Pretty much. Any woman who wants an open relationship is saying "I don't think you can do better. So I wanna go fuck other people while you stay home and wait for me"

        That song always changes once she realizes you will in fact fuck other women too.

        Also. Good on you man. Shit like this brings a tear to my eye. I'd buy you a beer if I knew you.

        [–]A_yoshi_Egg 4 points5 points  (7 children)

        "A few months in, she's addicted to me, and I change the rules a bit - open for me, closed for her. She complies, mostly because I make it clear that if she doesn't, I'll simply drop her." - are you surprised she ended up asking for more? Jesus christ man. Talk about a shitty deal.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 13 points14 points  (5 children)

        Wrong girl. Abby (who I changed the rules on) knows she'll never have me completely, and is OK with that.

        [–]A_yoshi_Egg 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Gotcha. Thanks for clarifying

        [–]verily_rp 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Now this poses a question: How did you keep Abby, then? We all know that security leads to a loss of attraction,so how did you circumvent it?

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'm taking a break from purposefully finding another girl until after the holidays, but afterwards, right back at it. I mean, I wouldn't turn down some strange if it fell in my lap.

        Abby knows that whatever we have is transitory, anyway. Plus, Betty lives just a few blocks away, and hadn't stopped texting me. I'm 99% sure she'll be an occasional plate, once she gets I'm not backing down.

        [–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The relationship still sounds anything but secure to me. She's on the receiving end of plenty of dread.

        [–]Eastuss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That's not the same girl who is asking for more.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]winatreddit 10 points11 points  (2 children)

        Thats a shit test, just say best of luck for ur new lover. There is no other guy in her mind. It's just a smoke screen

        [–]FastForward99[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        This. She's already tried to pull that one.

        [–]FastForward99[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        And how do I know she's not fucking someone else? Because she bitches about it all the time, especially while I travel for work. Got her a nice new vibrator, she quieted down a little bit.

        [–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        this is why I practice trp and read it on the daily. sure I have 0 girls right now, But one day if i try and apply things hard enough, i will. this thing i know for sure.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]FastForward99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Betty is approaching mid-30s, and doesn't want kids. She was married from a young age until a few years ago, but never found a partner who she really respected or connected with. Basically, she is desperate for someone who can lead her, ground her, and fuck her well. Of course, she really wants commitment as part of the package. What she doesn't understand (as callous as it is to say) is that she's a little past her prime, she should have ditched her Beta ex-husband earlier, and tried to lock down sometime several years ago.

        Basically, she's stuck between a rock and a hard place.

        [–]1cloudmax40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        These women are mentally ill. We live in interesting times, to say the least.

        [–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Alpha Widowed as fuuuuuuck

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