Feeling like shit is what makes feeling good worth while. Without having some "lows" to contrast with "highs" happiness would be meaningless. Personally I have the problem of associating myself with how I'm feeling. i.e. If I feel good, I am good. If I feel bad, I am bad. The mistake I (and probably many others make), is that if we're feeling bad we assume it's for some valid reason, and assume the reason is because there is some inherent flaw within our character that causes us to feel this way. We might delude ourselves into thinking that "good" or successful people never feel like shit from time to time, or for extended periods of time. While feeling like shit is normal (and okay) to feel bad, using it as an excuse in your life is not.
- Channel negative energy into something positive
Anger/aggression > Lifting (Hasn't this been covered enough already?)
Failure/shame > Determination
Sadness > Discipline
Loneliness > Acceptance
You're not as important as you think you are: Your feelings don't matter
The world doesn't stop spinning when you feel like shit. Why should you? Honestly you're not that important. If you think you're important just put things into a bigger scale (size: Countries, Continents, Planets, Etc.. time: Minutes, years, generations, millenniums, etc...) and see how much of an impact you actually have on the world (little to none, so who cares what you do?)
You don't need to be important
You don't need to be the ultimate alpha male, or the super chad. You just need to be the best version of yourself you can realistically attain. Except for putting food on the table, It's okay to suck at some things. It's okay if you're not the tallest, smartest, most handsome chad in the room. While competition is good, you should be measuring your progress in terms of yourself (where you were 1 year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago, etc...) I'm not saying "Just be yourself" I'm saying be okay with being you.
Your feelings don't (necessarily) represent reality
We say feelz not realz for a reason when it comes to women. It's because women don't think rationally or with any sort of logic. Guess what, Men do the same shit. People think with emotion, how do you think genocides happen? Anyways back to topic, Just because you feel a certain way, doesn't mean that is the accurate representation of what truly is reality. Take some time to put things into perceptive. It's quite possible that you're making something out to be a bigger deal than it truly is. Learn to forgive yourself, and give yourself another opportunity to move forward towards your goals.
Failure is a part of learning
"One loss to a master is more valuable than a thousand victories over an apprentice". Failure hurts for a fucking reason. It separates the men who are willing to suffer and toil in agony to attain something great, from the pussies who want to live life comfortably. That pain is the price we must pay for change. It is the currency of progress. Next time you utterly fail at something, embrace it. Embrace how shitty you feel. Don't run away from it. That is the feeling of progress. The feeling of pressure and heat molding you into something hard and beautiful. (Insert dick joke?). Learning from mistakes, and accepting that even the best of us make mistakes (vs beating yourself up without giving yourself another opportunity to re-attempt) is what's going to get you where you want to be. Learning skills (especially social ones) can be especially painful. The price is worth it. Don't give up halfway through paying your dues.
Don't look at yourself through other peoples eyes
As tribal animals getting expelled from the tribe used to mean death. Now it just means you try a different bar. We try so hard just to fit in that we often bend ourself in order to be accepted by those around us. (See psychological studies on conformity if you're interested: Such as facing the wrong way in an elevator.) If you're honestly being 100% yourself you will most likely meet some (or a lot) resistance when being honest with your desires and lifestyle. It's important to remember that you will never be happy trying to become the man you think others want you to be. While it's good to understand cultural norms/mores, people will always find any reason to disapprove of you.
Learn to love the man in the mirror. You can change some things about yourself, you can't change others. Honestly loving yourself means your okay with your insecurities and your flaws. Learning to accept your insecurities and flaws, while being open (in a non-needy way) with them will help you become more confident. I personally find it comforting when a person is able to admit their flaws, as long as their not self depreciating in the process. This might be hard for some to understand, but try to imagine a blind man trying to pretend like he can see. This would be awkward and uncomfortable. Clearly this guy is way out of the realm of reality, is dishonest, and uncomfortable with himself, which in turn will make others around him feel uncomfortable. Rather if he's able to admit his own personal shortcomings,
"Hey bro what do you think of this picture"
"I don't know I'm fucking blind"
It shows he's in touch with reality, his shortcomings, and conformable with himself as a person. He doesn't need to depend on other peoples opinions to feel good about himself: which shows strength. This lack of neediness on other peoples perception/opinion of himself is attractive of course to women as lovers, but also other men as companions.
Measure success in smaller units
I have a huge problem of looking at things at a broad brush and generalizing a good/bad result based off of my desired outcome. I.e. "Did I get laid tonight?", > No > Tonight was a failure. Measuring success in such broad terms discredits the work, effort, and moments of triumph you did achieve. Not to be confused with participation trophies.
I forgot to mention something about being grateful for what you have. If you don't appreciate what's in your life, it's pretty much the same as living without it.
Anyways this post is getting long and drawn out. If any other brothers out there are feeling like shit I hope this post has something to offer you. Good luck on your journey out there.