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You cared too much (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

If I could summarize 95% of the problems here that I've seen on TRP, it would be "You cared too much".

We live in a world that thrives off of over-concern. Everything is an emergency. All the news is late breaking. Everything is once in a lifetime. Life-changing. Urgent.

Some things do deserve attention. Most of it doesn't. What harms us the most is that society programs us to care too much about interpersonal relationships. Think about all the TV shows that are popular. Some character's relationship with another character will make or break everything. Some reality TV person hooked up with someone else and that's a BIG deal.

We get fed the same shit via gossip all day long too. This celebrity fucked this celebrity. OMG!

My point is this: When all you see is people making a gigantic deal about everything all the time, it's easy for you to adopt the same philosophy in your own life.

Stop for a second.

Slow down.

So what if she never texts you again? Yeah, she was cool but oh well. She broke up with you? Sure, you'll miss her but you'll live.

If you want to reach the next level in life then you have to stop trying to find the cheat codes to life to manipulate your happy ending. The first step towards happiness, overcoming grief, etc., is ACCEPTANCE. Don't confuse what I'm saying for complacency. Always strive for the best, but accept what things are in your life at the present moment and be a MAN about it. Stop trying to run from the negative outcome all the time. People run away from negative shit their entire lives and wonder why they've never developed the skill to cope with it when that negative thing INEVITABLY happens.

This is 100000x more true when it comes to women when you're a single man. There are no cheat codes to women and there is no perfect formula to get them all to fuck you. Start coming to peace with this. You'll notice that it won't mean shit after awhile. Instead of being scared of her leaving, embrace that decision if that's what it comes down to. As much as it hurts, it'll numb you to it.

You have to start developing the strength to detach from people and situations. At first it sucks, but eventually you'll get good at it. People will recognize you're good at it and respect it.

So...

Start cutting out the bullshit. Becky's sending mixed signals? Just cut contact. Move on. Sally's out there waiting for you probably. Sally acts up? Susie will be right around the corner.

Listen:

She wasn't "perfect" for you. You guys clicked a little bit, you got excited and then elevated her to some demigod status and got obsessed. Stop doing that. Every woman is JUST a woman. If you find yourself having to "figure out" a situation, then just bail. It's not supposed to be hard or complex. If you talk to her and you guys connect, good. Go with the flow. If not? "Have a nice day. Bye." Life isn't the movies. You're not going to be that goofy guy who runs into the girl he likes and she hates him at first but then over time becomes endeared with his antics/heroics and falls madly in love. That NEVER happens.

Follow this advice and watch your amount of "beta" moments rapidly decrease to almost nil.


[–][deleted]  (11 children)

[deleted]

[–]Enlightened_Chimp 51 points52 points  (7 children)

The one with the power in a relationship is the one who is more willing to walk away. Always true.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (6 children)

So I guess I had more power than my red pill ex-boyfriend yay

[–]PaBowbow 13 points14 points  (5 children)

No need for the downvotes. You're not wrong.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I think he was trying to get me to break up with him though. I still think he has the power.

[–]PaBowbow 5 points6 points  (3 children)

If he couldn't straight up tell you to your face that he didn't want to be together anymore, then no, he's weak.

[–]aanarchist 19 points20 points  (1 child)

can you say this 500 more times for good measure?

[–]bigtuna45 141 points142 points  (16 children)

I was watching 21 jump street the movie today. At the end of the movie, Jonah Hill kisses his crush as the movie climaxes. Music plays, it's happily ever after and it's a HUGE deal.

In reality, kissing a girl is nothing. The other night I made out with a hb7 after talking to her first 15 minutes (first time I've pulled that off) . We talked about fucking the next day. I texted her the next day, she went cold.

When I was BP as fuck I would've thought "omg we kissed SHE'S THE ONE. WE'RE GONNA FUCK TOMORROW!!!". Now I see the situation for what it's worth; I gave her the tingles and the next day she either wasn't feeling it or found someone better.

Truth be told it still stung a bit. But the more you face reality and stop making a big deal out if shit, the faster you progress.

[–]phantomlordd 52 points53 points  (6 children)

Perfect. We're not protagonists in a meaningful history like the movies. We're just some impulsive animals looking for sex with the best partner available.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (2 children)

You're right. And remember kids, to further this point, anything we find meaningful is because we chose to assign meaning to it. In one hundred years not a single soul will care or remember that you lived, suffered, found glory or got laid.

[–]purduered 37 points38 points  (0 children)

or got laid.

I'm going to pour one out today for my great great great grandfather. If he didn't fuck my great great great grandmother, I wouldn't be here.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

that is, unless you make history.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]TheDialecticParadox 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    The problem is by the time a guy realizes he's been a little bitch and should have approached earlier, it's too late.

    By all means go ahead and approach, but you should have done it a lot sooner.

    [–]GunsGermsAndSteel 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I used to get worked up about that shit too until I realized that her going cold probably had nothing to do with me. Could be she started her period and doesn't wanna fuck. Could be she has a boyfriend and feels guilty. Could be she'd had a couple drinks and when sober doesn't feel or act the same way. Whatever. Odds are it's nothing to do with me and if it is, it's probably something as superficial as she didn't like the color of my shirt. There's practically no chance that in 15 minutes she got to know me well enough to reject me on a fundamental, human level. So who cares?

    [–]RPFlame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I was watching 21 jump street the movie today. At the end of the movie, Jonah Hill kisses his crush as the movie climaxes. Music plays, it's happily ever after and it's a HUGE deal. In reality, kissing a girl is nothing.

    That's the blue pill conditioning boys went through until they felt bad for approaching a girl they liked for the very first time in their lives. When everyone is treating her as "the prize" you end up feeling as if they're approaching a lion the first time you try to talk to her, and if they successfully conquer her they might as well take a picture with her always sitting at the front - photo clearly more focused than her. As if they're saying to their Facebook/Twitter audience "THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND HOW LUCKY I AM!" as if the feeling isn't mutual, and in dead bedroom cases it clearly isn't.

    [–]Adaeustache 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Tell us the truth! She was an HB9 but you say she was an HB7 to ease the sting!

    [–]bigtuna45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    fuck, why'd you have to go and say that man? :*(

    [–]fingerthemoon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I've had more than a few times when I got a kiss within the first 10 min and each time it was all I got. There's an art to escalating at the right pace.

    Now that I think about it, there was a number of girls when I was younger that I fucked on the first date, or nearly fucked, that didn't want to see me again even though we were extremely passionate. It always puzzled me because they were obviously as turned on as I was.

    [–]bigtuna45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There's an art to escalating at the right pace.

    Thank you for this nugget. I think I am guilty of escalating too quickly, which creates an initial spike in attraction but quickly tapers.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]bigtuna45 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      My point is that we are programed to believe that there are such things as endings in real life. Clean breaks do not exist, life is always in flux and never complete.

      [–]zboo1h 112 points113 points  (13 children)

      I needed to read this. I have always had a problem with overthinking and caring too much about people in general, not just women. It used to drive me crazy if people didn't reciprocate the same level of enthusiasm I had for them.

      Now I know that Susie is right around the corner.

      [–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (3 children)

      When you're on top, being enthusiastic about others makes you a charismatic socially savvy stud. When you're not, it makes you a clingy, needy loser.

      [–]RPFlame 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      It's retarded but completely true. When you're socially starved you run in the risk of acting as a needy loser in both when you make friends or flirting, and the one who fakes abundance wins.

      This is what we call "abundance mentality", looking at the world as if it's your oyster.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      When you try to get people to like you, you'll almost always fail. People can sense the neediness. Once you stop giving a shit you'll have more success.

      [–]yomo86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      When you're on top, being enthusiastic about others makes you a charismatic socially savvy stud. When you're not, it makes you a clingy, needy loser.

      Top nugget of wisdom this week

      [–]logicalthinker1 23 points24 points  (0 children)

      And Susie sucks a mean dick

      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      Susie is right around the corner.

      Women are like cabs. There will always be a next one coming.

      [–]sharp7 5 points6 points  (5 children)

      You should really be doing things in your life that make you not really care about girls.

      [–]zboo1h 9 points10 points  (3 children)

      I definitely am a busy man, but always have had this thorn in my psyche about women and when "relationships" come to an end it always stings, even if it was just a casual sex thing. I'm seriously considering therapy to try and unravel this stupid shit, my childhood was rather terrible in an extremely abusive parents kind of way.

      [–]sharp7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Ya I got bullied a lot, it really fucks with you forever because of imprinting.

      I'm the opposite with relationships though. My comfort zone is being single so when things are going well I feel like sabotaging it. And most breakups I'm relieved more than anything else. When I get rejected by someone I was sure I was better than I cry, but its very rare.

      [–]Fingerblaster007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Nothing wrong with therapy. Helps you get everything out there and have someone help you figure it out.

      [–]mdcrubengonza 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      They didn't reciprocate the same level of enthusiasm I had for them*

      [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

      This can be a vicious cycle for me. Screw Up With Women > Stop Caring > Lack of Effort Attracts Women > Start to Care Again > Screw Up Again

      [–]Hakametal 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      Currently in this situation right now. I've been dating this half-Asian HB9 for the past two and a half months. She has a great relationship with her family and especially with her father. This sounds great right? Well, it's because it feels so great that my insecurities start to creep up and try to influence my behaviour. It's like I fear losing a great thing instead of enjoying it while it lasts... however long that might be.

      Thank god for TRP. Because of it, I can be objective with my emotions and objective to her level of interest. I've also talked a lot to her about things like narcissism, social media, toxic people and generally self-love. Our conversations have been great and I'm hoping that she's a mature person in the long run.

      In all of this, I still hold TRP close to me, knowing full well that she might cheat at any moment, dump me at any moment, shit test me at any moment. At the end of the day, TRP fundamentally comes down to self respect. Genuine self respect.

      [–]illusiveab 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      I actually genuinely enjoy shit testing at this stage. Too many AFCs make their girl out to be a constant problem and don't realize that any dude worth his weight will just filter that shit out. If your objective isn't sex, even in an LTR, you will lose her. If your objective isn't to strike a balance between caring and detachment, you will lose her.

      At that golden mean, shit tests become fun. If your girl does or says something that is disrespectful, correct her, have boundaries. If your girl says she hates you, agree and amplify. You can't win unless you are genuinely better than the game she's playing. Women won't change unless they enter your frame, and if your frame is weak, then you'll never be satisfied.

      [–]VIICHYVALOIS 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      Can't be happy with a girl until you've learned how to be happy without one

      [–]matrixpush 74 points75 points  (14 children)

      Sounds very modern-PUA, but you do bring up some good points.

      A big reason men care so much, is because of the ratio, once again. Every woman (even the undesirable landwhales) is literally swatting away a revolving door of male attention.

      It's not easy meeting a new one, when the average woman is constantly getting bombarded with attention.

      Notice you rarely hear men complaining over women being "too clingy" anymore, something that was standard-fare back in the day. Men are far clingier now, this is just reality. It's a numbers game.

      Once smartphone culture took over, everything changed.

      [–]RXM9600 51 points52 points  (4 children)

      This is true. All the decent women have 10 beta orbiters around them constantly. She can hook up with a hot Chad any night of the week. She can fuck 20+ dicks a day easily. Why the fuck is she going to be clingy towards your ass when she has attention 24/7.

      That's why there are so many more sluts these days than before. They fuck until they hit the wall and then settle because they can.

      Even the fat ugly ones have fucking multiple guys hitting them up.

      It's pretty fucked up.

      [–]zboo1h 48 points49 points  (2 children)

      It's fucked up, it's unfair, it's lousy, it can make you feel all kinds of jealous and so on. You can't let it get to you, it's not something that can be changed without something close to total societal collapse.

      The trick is not to care, and to live your live, follow your mission, lift your weights, spin your plates. Easier said than done, when a 40's cat lady is getting more action than your average dude.

      [–]RenaissanceMan79 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      If society changed to become this way, it can also change back. History repeats itself. However, much like the processes that got us to the current state, it would probably take decades. So for the time being, you just have to accept that this is they way things are and live accordingly.

      [–]segagaga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What are the processes that got us to this state and what would be the process back?

      [–]Steve_Wiener 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      I'd say it started with social media, probably facebook specifically.

      But this is something crucial that guys need to realize. Not to mention it's turning society and especially dating and gender relations and the quality of women to absolute shit.

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Probably another reason to try to meet girls out of the smartphone way. I mean you know, the real life way.

      It's hard and you got some hb10 on your tinder you may not have even clicked with IRL? Delete it. I get caught myself sometimes. Hell even last week; i downloaded tinder again, talked to 6-months old matches, some brunettes with huge boobs and ass and went on some dates, got a handjob, a few hugs... its fucked. piss poor excitation. Routine for everybody. You even see them answering to some orbiters during the date (usually the moment to just get up pay half of the bill and go). I met 2 very nice girls in a uber yesterday night, and mind you I'm not experienced at all at just manning up and asking for a phone number in front of a taxi driver and shit. Well I got it, after a quick moment of "did he just ask for our phone number???" and they could barely see my face the whole time since I was sitting in front. Even tho I had other plans yesterday night I'm convinced this kind of situation places you on a whole different level.

      I'm not really fond of street pick up tho. These guys would say it's better than bar/pubs but I doubt it.

      [–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Meeting a girl irl always sets you above the fray. It's tricky in a small town though, when the chances of them knowing people you know and seeing them again are very high. My difficulty with approach is finding a woman I'm interested in who isn't with other people. They're almost never alone. This wouldn't bother me in a city but in a small city (town) like where I live diplomacy is more important.

      [–]Uhondo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Its a numbers game, and the scales are tilted massively in their favor. Guys will really need to be in the top 1% to have a decent chance in today's dating scene.

      [–]bhouse114 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      I think that's a little extreme. While smartphone culture works more in girls favor than guys it still helps guys out a lot. Girls are typically more quality over quantity than guys. So a lot of the guys that give her attention. The beta orbiters, the guys that call her a goddess in her Instagram comments, they are there to give her attention but really don't factor into the game. The ole adage guys, "show me the hottest girl in the world and I'll show you a guy that's tired of fucking her"

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–]matrixpush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Good point.

        Yes, it happens sometimes. I had a woman from my freshman year of college somehow track me down after 14 years telling me she missed me after so long. She was super-clingy back then. She'd make my old nokia phone goto capacity within hours. This was back when texting was still a novelty & most phones could only hold up to 100 texts (usually no more than 5 lines). Then after that, she'd switch to AOL instant messenger to the point she was having a conversation with herself. When I say clingy, this is what I mean.

        What you're describing definitely does happen, but not at the same frequency or level of obsession as it happened before. Obviously there's exceptions. More women today seem to quickly move onto one of their orbiters, who are never too far away, as everyone knows.

        This woman actually tracked me down a few months ago, low & behold, she's married with 2 kids, unhappy in her marriage, found me via a friend of a friend. Moved to a different town, told me to stay in touch. Women rarely get this clingy in the present, although I'm sure it does happen sometimes.

        I completely agree with you about being in the second category. Although I would say the "provider" category should be added, & most women end of the day are looking for a provider they're at least somewhat attracted to.

        One thing that needs to be remembered about the second category is that women are often aware of it, & a lot of them are using guys as well, Carrie Bradshaw style while only caring about Mr Big. Most women will form a buffer stock of men until they find one they settle down with, & when that doesn't work out, it's back to the buffer stock of men.

        [–]majormongoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        is there something wrong with modern-PUA?

        [–]Sartyrh 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        This is an ancient truth that all the great men of wisdom have known - the root of suffering is attachment. In order to live a life of contentment, you must practice non-attachment.

        Too many people chase and cling to happiness, and flee from negative experiences. This does not lead one to a place of acceptance in life, as you are constantly shifting from emotion to emotion, chasing that high.

        If you have a hard time controlling your emotions when they arise (especially negative ones), here is a practical exercise you can do whenever you have a negative emotion -

        1. Notice the feeling arise. Cultivating mindfulness and awareness in the moment through meditation will assist in your ability to notice when new emotions arise, as your mind will be more still.

        2. Name the feeling. Specifically, and literally, speak the words in your mind "I am feeling [emotion]."

        3. Name the reason why the feeling has arisen. You will virtually always be able to name the reason why you feel a certain way, and if you cannot, simply acknowledge that you are not sure why you feel that way.

        4. Let the emotion go. This is the part that takes practice with negative experiences, but ultimately, the act of naming the feeling and thinking about why you feel that way tends to take all of the emotional wind out of the experience. From there, your rational mind is more capable of filing that experience away and moving past it.

        One thing about memories... If we recall something, and there arises an emotion from that memory, there is something in that memory that we are meant to learn from. Something we need to understand. The whole purpose of memory is to assist in our survival, and when we have an emotion that arises during recall of an event, it is a subconscious signal that the issue is not entirely resolved.

        If this happens, you would do well to apply the same process outlined above to your experiences, and try to learn from them. It is a practical method, so you actually have to apply yourself in this endeavor. It will take time to unravel those negative experiences and turn them into neutral ones, but it is absolutely necessary to our long term contentment.

        [–]majormongoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Even the person you love most is still a person, it is the love of people and life, don't confuse your love of people for the love and attachment of one perso

        [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        9 out of 10 our problems are we give too much importance to unimportant things.

        [–]aazav 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Learn not to care. By caring, your happiness becomes tied to the success of her attraction to you.

        That sets you up for failure. Don't be a sucker.

        [–]Stythe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Almost everything is in your head in life. You just interpret it a certain way and react according to that interpretation, even if it isn't accurate.

        [–]Mckallidon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Great post. The less fucks I give, the more I have for the few things that truly matter. When you're giving so many fucks all the time, you miss the things that truly need it.

        Now especially when it comes to bitches, they're self-centered trash. All of them. Every single one is a selfish, two-faced bitch. Give zero fucks if she hates you or fucks you. Not worth the hassle. Minimal investment into women. Always. They are parasites if you let them. Just don't.

        [–]epixs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Great post man. Many times I'm in a situation where everything will tell me to contact that girl or person, but I don't. That's the discipline that I've developed over the years of working hard in life, gym, everything.

        Your post, if I had to break it down to the core, is about showing emotional control. Being able to relate it down to the stoic philosophy of how, nothing will break your frame. The girl who didn't text back, the boss who's being a bitch, life hitting you hard when you're already down.

        I believe it was Rudyard Kipling who talked about all that and what it's like to be a man.

        Also, if it doesn't kill you, it makes your stronger.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Time and time again TRP philosophy seems to mirror the basic format of Buddhism: The Four Noble Truths (You're fucking up because you care too much) and the Eightfold Path (Just focus on these handful of basic precepts and you'll be fine, whatever happens happens).

        [–]fingerthemoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah, except Buddhism doesn't have evolutionary psychology and biology to explain why and how. It's also more about renunciation, which might work for some with low sex drive but not for alpha males. Equanimity is key. Balance with biology.

        [–]tampeloeres 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Okay I'm going to do this and see how it works out.

        [–]aanarchist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        truth has been spoketh on this day

        [–]thousandmilesjourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        She wasn't "perfect" for you. You guys clicked a little bit, you got excited and then elevated her to some demigod status and got obsessed.

        This struck a chord with me. As I looked back on some of my previous relationships I used to think "She was perfect for me. But clearly it didn't pan out so she wasn't." Slowly I've been realising there is no perfect girl but there are a lot of girls out there we can click with. When that time comes we need to enjoy it for what it is. She's not yours it's just your turn

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Here, let me make a TL;DR version for you:

        No kids? Then:

        Nobody. Fucking. Matters.

        Certain people, including women, don't find you enjoyable? Boo fucking hoo. They are simply your perception of light, haptic sensation and whatever other senses you have. Nature told you to objectify the fuck out of them- because they are technically fucking objects. Self aware objects, but objects. From an abjectly scientific standard, you can't even be entirely sure that they exist- but we know that whatever you imagined them to be while you were popping blue pills like an addict- that sure as fuck doesn't exist.

        Welcome to the real world. Or is it?

        [–]thatonemikeguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Just remember, in 100 years nothing we've done will matter. Helps put things into prospective a little.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [removed]

        [–]lodro 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        TRP is cheat codes for life.

        Not in this context, no. You're mixing up metaphors.

        I believe OP's meaning there is to condemn the magic pill seeking behavior that so many people have been infected with. "Ohhh if only I obtained THING, then I would be happy".

        Not gonna happen! And it certainly isn't TRP.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

           

          News Alert

           

          "Nuclear missiles have been launched and will strike American cities in less that 15 minutes."

           

          "Be sure to watch the News at 5, 6, and 11."

           

          There are real things to worry about... "Don't sweat the small stuff".

          These self important spoiled brats don't own your attention.

           

          [–]chedder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          While I don't agree with the sentiment that you should just walk away if things start to become difficult, I completely agree that you should always be prepared to walk away.

          This should be the case with all relationships, friendships included.

          At the end of the day, for me I've learned to give up on a relationship when overall it becomes more work and stress then fun and happiness. What's even the point. It's like you said though, she wasn't made for you; there will always be disagreements with anyone, in order to have a lasting relationship there will be difficult points. It's up to you though and all up to what you really want out of it.

          [–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          My only addition to this is after you've hit this acceptance and you know where you are and your not chasing a fictitious reality then you do need to use every trick in the book to get ahead; there are lots of great trick cultivated by someone else who already did all the work for you. Why not use them? If you try to get ahead by playing it by the book all the time your going to constantly lose out to the strategic player that's maximizing all his advantages with women and career. Don't get chewed up by those guys.

          [–]DartleDude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I agree with you and I think you've hit the nail on the head. I do have a few thoughts to piggy-back on your original sentiment of, "don't take life so seriously".

          How do you take life less seriously? Let yourself feel the feels. Find a peaceful place and take a minute to become still and allow the thoughts to come. Let your inner-monologue (higher self) ask questions, make statements and put shit out there. Then, work through them one at a time until you're back on solid ground. It's called meditation and it's about letting the thoughts and the feelings come so they can pass through. If you do not let them pass, they will haunt you (and inevitably turn your world on its head). Re-directing them, pushing them out and fighting them off is child's play. We are men. Men are observers. Feed off of the thoughts and feelings flying through your mind and become stronger; use them to fuel your cause (see photosynthesis).

          Keep your inner-monologue running and listen to it; pay attention to your body and mind. You can tell when it's getting anxious, frustrated, nervous, afraid, annoyed, angry, etc. Those undesirable emotions are red flags; your body is actually trying to talk to you. When those emotions come, then you know it's time to take a step back and open the flood-gates of feels. Once you're in a better place, then you can take action.

          This is a skill you must acquire and develop just like all other skills.

          If 95% of the problems on here are because men cared too much, then 95% of the problem is because men aren't actively working to stay grounded. Use age old techniques like meditation to become the wise-man of few words who is slow to act, but intentional in those actions. Quality over quantity my brothers. Thank you. That is all.

          [–]thekingmaker88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Finally, a post I can elevate to gold status. This totally speaks to me as there is this girl that I think is "perfect" and I'm pretty sure she's not even into me like that. This is why I keep coming back to the sub, thanks.

          [–]majormongoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Read the handbook by epictetus and learn to lead a stoic life, this is great when combined with redpill philosophies and you also need to understand that there is perfect balance of caring and not giving a fuck.

          [–]1PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Comes down to emotional investment. I'd say people care to much in relationships aswell. But that's highly circumstantial. The most important part is that women have an incredible advantage they never had before.

          Thanks to the internet and their mobile phone women have amplified abundance. Which is a constant stream of reassurance that there's another guy waiting for her. Before this era women generally had to rely on their surrounding social circle. Which was tightly controlled by the men.

          Now she can find men nearly anywhere at the snap of a couple of fingers. She doesn't even have to exhaust energy to approach. All she has to do is lay down the fish hook and they come nibbling.

          This means that every girl or woman you meet nowadays will have these options in the back of her mind. Unless you manage to make her emotionally invest in you, she will not give a shit if you walk off. Remember that. The next moment you are fretting over a girl not replying or what not. Realize she's ass-first in Disney land and she wants to try out all the rides.

          Their moment of clarity only comes around the ages of 28+ where the steady stream of male approaches suddenly becomes to dwindle. That's where panic becomes to set in, especially if they rode and depended on the cock carrousel. Since their game is entirely relying on their ability to attract constant new males.

          The best you can do is constantly find new supply of young pussy and laugh your ass off at the old hags who are still trying. Anything over a 30 is easy as fuck game. Guaranteed.

          [–]MrNatemare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This is so true.

          As Rollo said: 'there are good ones and there are bad ones, there is no the one'.

          It's not a big deal. We can survive perfectly if we just work on our own happiness and make the most out of the people around us. No one is irreplaceable.

          The second last paragraph is especially true. Those who love you will find a way to love no matter what. Those who don't will not do so just because you spend more time with them.

          If I can upvote you 500 times I would.

          [–]_fappycamper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          So true. What a great post!