My Christmas gift to you all is an idea I have been working on for a while. It is this: women are attracted to men who are transcendent. By transcendent I mean here the ability to overcome social norms and any other challenges, including those from nature and other men. Men have the power to be transcendent because of their conquering instinct. Women want to be transcendent as well, but because their conquering emotion is weaker they can only experience transcendence vicariously through a man. Therefore, a woman’s primary sexual attraction to a man is to his presence, not to any tangible things he gives her or buys for her.
Human beings evolved to obey the alpha male and are therefore naturally submissive and conformist. Anxiety is an evolutionary response to prevent us from upsetting the alpha male. Social norms are always created by the alpha male, so we feel anxiety when we transgress them. This is all subconscious – rationally, we know that society’s rules can never always be right. But we are subconsciously pressured to follow the tribe because anxiety cripples us whenever we try to veer off the accepted path.
The alpha male can transgress social norms. He feels no obedience to anybody and therefore does not fear venturing into uncharted territory. Anxiety is mostly fear of other people, but a man can liquidate this fear by developing a healthy and confident conquering instinct (and controlling and directing this conquering instinct appropriately). This is why, throughout history men have been responsible for most major innovations: inventions, religions, philosophy, art, etc... Women can invent stuff and make art too, but it is much harder for them to transgress the fundamental social norms that underlie society and create something radically new unless a man does it first and shows them the way. This is why feminists talk so much about the need to “encourage” women to go into certain fields like STEM.
All human beings, men and women, are attracted to transcendence. We always want to know what is the on other side of our accepted reality. The poet Robert Browning famously said: “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?” We are naturally attracted to that which just lies outside our grasp, just outside our knowledge, just outside our abilities. We are surrounded by infinity, but we are stuck in a finite being by our bodies, our minds, and most importantly, our social norms. This is why we are attracted to religion, to art, to great people (usually, men), to psychedelic drugs, to nature, etc… These things give us a glancae, even for a moment, at infinity. Transcendence represents hope, freedom, escape, rebirth, power, serenity, peace, victory, etc… And only the alpha male can transcend. Only the alpha male has the emotional ability to ignore everything society says and do something radically different.
Almost everything is a social norm created by a man. Art, philosophy, religion, and our deepest beliefs about reality are all created by men. Even our understanding of the natural world is dictated by science, which is man-made. Although science purports to describe “reality” with no subjective interpositions, science is really just a bunch of theories created by human beings, and those theories expand and improve because of humans. And like any field, science only has radical conceptual innovations when somebody transgresses accepted norms. So even science sometimes needs an alpha male to expand the accepted paradigm.
Therefore, the alpha male can EVEN TRANSCEND THE LAWS OF NATURE. Or at least, what humankind know the laws of nature to be. In the last 100 years, men have created the ability to fly, instantly exchange terabytes of data over long distances, and destroy the world with the press of a button, all things that people previously thought were impossible. The Bible says in Genesis 11:6 that if the people of the world unite mankind can do literally anything. Therefore, the only thing that stops a man from being God is other men. An alpha male that transcends the rules of society (and nature) is on his way to becoming a God. As you can imagine, this is incredibly thrilling and exciting to women.
Of course, women HATE that men can be transcendent and they can’t. A proud, independent feminist woman will say that women can transcend and innovate just as well as men can. This makes sense – women don’t want to admit that they have to rely on men. But there is an unbridgeable power gap between men and women, which creates an inherent and eternal resentment in women. And no matter how much men supplicate to women, they can never raise women up to close the gap, so their supplication only weakens themselves and increases women’s resentment.
That’s why women try to tear down great men – it eases the anxiety of knowing somebody has abilities you don’t have. A “shit test” is when she “senses” that you may be transcendent, so she tries to trap you within social norms to see if either her or society can bottle you up and make you feel anxiety. And when you overcome, she becomes intrigued because you are literally doing something that she cannot do.
No matter how mean, or pretentious, or snobby, or hot, or damaged, or crazy a woman is, and no matter how much she tries to put you down, at the end of the day you have something she can never have: the ability to transcend. And deep down, she knows that. And you can hang that ability over her head for eternity.
Of course, not all men are transcendent. Most men are also submissive and conformist, especially when they want something (see my spiel about acquisitiveness below). Most great men in history have been supported by beta males that obeyed them unthinkingly. Every famous rapper has an entourage of guys that do his bidding and hope for some of his scraps. A confident, smart woman who works hard is more of a “man” than most of these losers. Men are also attracted to transcendence, but they are less likely to completely submit to the alpha male because a small part of them knows that they can BECOME the alpha male if they try hard enough. That said, the “alpha” in most men is usually silenced so they end up being submissive and conformist.
Transcendence and abundance mentality
Transcendence and abundance mentality are deeply interconnected, which is why women are attracted to men with abundance mentality.
There are two possible attitudes a person can have when approaching the world: one of appreciation and one of acquisitiveness. Acquisitiveness is the attitude where you see the world as something to be used and taken. You want food, you want sex, you want money. Appreciation is where you see the world as something to be appreciated, experienced and enjoyed. Acquisitiveness is associated with scarcity mentality, anxiety, and therefore submission. Appreciativeness is associated with transcendence. An appreciative person enjoys EVERYTHING about life: a beautiful sunrise, nature, breakfast in the morning, saying hello to strangers, even the sheer wonder at the fact that the world exists! But an acquisitive person has tunnel vision and can only focus on the specific things they want at that moment. Like a lot of people, I enjoy a bump of cocaine on a Saturday night, but unlike a cocaine addict I don’t let it ruin my life so that I can’t enjoy the other great things about life.
Of course, you need money, sex, shelter, food, etc… There is nothing wrong with acquiring things: the problem is with the EMOTION of acquisitiveness. In fact, appreciative people are often more successful than acquisitive people, because they are not crippled by the anxiety caused by acquisitiveness. They will not be distracted by their addictions, they will not form an unhealthy attachment to a particular person, thing or idea, and they will learn to enjoy the struggle.
Women are turned off by acquisitiveness because nobody likes a taker. In fact, a good rule in any social interaction is to “appreciate” the other person and not try to “acquire” something from the other person. Everybody likes to be appreciated, nobody likes to be used.
Lower-ranked apes obey the alpha because the alpha controls the resources and distributes them out to members of the tribe that obeyed the alpha. Therefore, if you ask a woman for anything – her time, her attention, etc... you FEEL beta to her. Don’t ever ask – instead, tell the woman you will go appreciate something, and then she can also come appreciate it with you if she wants. You can “ask” only if you already know she wants to go so your “asking” is really just “accepting” her to come with you. Of course, I am talking about the beginning stages of a relationship – once you’ve established a relationship where she is regularly giving you things (like cleaning your house) it’s ok to ask her for things in return.
Supplicating to a woman and validating yourself to a woman are indirectly forms of acquisitiveness because you are indirectly “asking” her to like you, and she can subconsciously tell. If a billionaire brags to a stripper about how much money he has or buys her t hings, the emotional subtext is “I want your validation so I can ‘have’ you.” Putting a woman on a pedestal is even worse because it completely destroys your transcendence: she wants a man to take her to infinity, but if his focus and desire is her, she’s back to where she started.
Women are attracted to appreciative men because it FEELS like those men have everything and are therefore alpha. Obviously, nobody really has everything – we are talking about feelings. A happy guy having a blast at the party feels more “rich” than the billionaire stressing out over whether the girls there like him.
To be appreciative, you need abundance mentality (or better put, abundance emotions). You must “feel” like you have, or can get, anything so that you are not hindered by the anxiety associated with acquisitiveness.
It is not as simple as flipping a switch in your brain to say “I feel like I have everything so I don’t need to be acquisitive.” Developing abundance emotions is hard. You must feel abundance in the deepest depths of your soul and in every situation and in every crevice of your consciousness. I would guess that most pathologies, like drug addiction and overeating, are caused by a deep inner scarcity anxiety - you pursue an irrational pleasure that actually harms you in the long run because you think this is the only happiness you will feel in the foreseeable future.
You can get abundance emotions by actually having abundance. But a true feeling of transcendence can also create abundance emotions, because you know you can defeat any man or nature to get what you need or want. Transcendence is a better way to feel abundance because it represents infinite hope: I can turn down this Playboy Playmate right now because in the future I can get anything I want, including 100 Playboy Playmates.
Women can never be fully appreciative because they are inherently acquisitive. They cannot have abundance mentality because they do not “feel” like they can conquer their enemies to get what they want whenever they want. Of course, there are billionaire women who, for all practical purposes, can get whatever they want whenever they want, but they still will not feel emotionally transcendent because its not wired into their genes.
The best way for a man to “appear” transcendent to a woman is to be completely appreciative of life. Pure appreciativeness with no acquisitiveness, and therefore no fear or anxiety, is something a woman can never obtain on her own – she can only experience it vicariously through you. That is your most important and attractive asset is simply your presence.
I hate the idea of “game” because it implies doing things to make a woman like you, which is inherently validation-seeking. Nevertheless, for a woman to be attracted to your transcendence, she must witness it. Game requires performativity because ultimately she is attracted to the emotion of transcendence, not your actual tangible existence (even though your actual tangible existence is still very important). And emotions are actions; they don’t exist in a vacuum. You can have all the cool shit in the world, but no matter who you are, your cool shit is finite. And when the woman reaches the end of the cool shit, she will get bored and go looking for something else. Worthless women with nothing to offer have gotten bored of Johnny Depp and Elon Musk, they will get bored of you too.
Women who fall for alphas often say that being around him is a “religious” experience. Being good-looking or well-dressed is not enough to create a “religious” experience. A transcendent man has access to the infinite because no possibility is foreclosed to him.
Therefore, women need to witness you being an indestructible fortress that obeys or submits to nobody and is dedicated to enjoying life and accomplishing his goals. In normal human interaction, you must curtail your own enjoyment so that the people around you can also have fun. But women want to see you aggressively and genuinely enjoy yourself, letting nobody get in the way, so they can also vicariously feel that power. You must be passionate – you must bring all of your thoughts and feelings into the enjoyment so that she can be energized as well. The best way to “game” a woman is to be deeply present, deeply passionate, and have deep fun – talk about things you both enjoy, laugh, and make her feel like she can join you on your enjoyment quest.
Confidence is attractive to women is because biologically, anxiety is related to submissiveness. There was an article earlier on this subreddit by u/mikehaines which basically said that the key to scoring with model-tier girls was holding frame. And by holding frame, he just meant being calm. And to a big extent, he’s right. Just being calm, collected, and relaxed makes you much more attractive. Again, this is attractive to women because it is something they can’t do. They naturally feel anxiety around powerful people.
Also, why would a transcendent person feel anxiety? Nothing can hurt them. They live in a higher plane than our own. A transcendent person can fly or walk through walls so why would they be scared of a woman with low self-esteem whose only accomplishment today was to put on a dress and makeup? Of course this is all irrational – you can’t walk through walls and sometimes it makes sense to have anxiety. But we’re not talking about the real world here, we are talking about feelings.
This is all, of course, much easier said than done. No man can feel “transcendent” all the time: we are all tormented by anxiety, desires, and obstacles. Human beings are inherently frail creatures, which is why it is so impressive when somebody overcomes their frailty. The mere presence of a woman oftentimes subconsciously puts us into acquisitive mode, which introduces anxiety, which creates submissiveness. Everything here is a perfect ideal that will take a lot of time and struggle to achieve. I am not there yet, and I doubt anybody here is there yet all the time either.
Furthermore, oftentimes women cannot truly appreciate transcendence because of their acquisitiveness, which overrides their deeper emotions. If a woman is having trouble paying her rent, she may choose a “beta” male rather than a transcendent alpha male. Similarly, a woman who is addicted to drugs and partying will not appreciate an alpha male who doesn’t party. These women know they are missing out on superior men, but they literally cannot control their own addictions. Ideally, to “game” a woman you must find a way to satisfy her stupid desires and also be transcendent.
A woman also cannot truly appreciate a man’s transcendence outside of a strictly-enforced monogamous relationship. As I’ve described here, a truly transcendent man isn’t doing much for the woman – he is merely existing. This behavior, while attractive, induces anxiety in women because women are also wired to seek a protector and provider. She can only let you “exist” as an alpha if she knows that you are under social sanction to stay with her (in many traditional societies, death if you leave). Your “transcendence” means nothing to her unless she can vicariously join and she will not appreciate this feeling if she knows you can dump her at any time. Otherwise, she will be constantly in a struggle to “lock you down” to make sure you don’t go anywhere, creating an unending struggle between your transcendence and her need for security.
All of these ideas are background thoughts that linger unspoken beneath the superficial veneer of an interaction. You can’t walk into a hangout with a woman thinking “I must be transcendent, I must be transcendent, I must be transcendent.” You need to just be yourself and enjoy yourself, knowing deep down what is really going on.
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