Former feminazi searching for the truth and a better understanding of red pill

c_a_l_m · 2018-10-12T04:42:50+00:00

To some extent RPW is about submission. This is less about "women being inferior" or similar, and more about understanding men, and understanding yourself.

The prevalent lie is that men want sex. Men are very big fans of sex of course, and think it's a great hobby, and some are even slaves to it, like others are to heroin.

But at the end of the day, if all you can offer a dude is sex, then one of three things will happen:

he'll stay because he doesn't think he can do any better. Woo hoo.
he'll realize that wait a minute, there are lots of attractive women out there, and they keep making new ones!
he'll never approach you in the first place.

The things that men actually want, that they will fight and murder and work and protect and plan and die for, are respect and loyalty. These are not fashionable terms these days; do not assume you know what they mean. They are both easier and harder to give than you might think.

Warren Farrell said that men are often regarded as "human doings" rather than "human beings." That is---they are only valued inasmuch as they can produce/perform. That's a good life if they're performing well---it's a bad one if they're not. Even in high school, a boy who finds a sport where he can perform at a high level will find his stock rising, and suddenly he'll get female attention where he didn't before.

A natural consequence of women and girls focusing on high-status, high-performing men is what you might have heard called the apex fallacy, in which women think (maybe only implicitly) that all mens' lives mirror those of the men they admire, associate with, and sleep with. Who can we see, after all, but those we're looking at?

The thing is, though: male status and performance are variable. Today's alpha is tomorrow's beta, and vice versa. The washed-up high school jock is a cliche, as is the unassuming beta who later finds fame and fortune.

What happens to a man when he goes through one of those transitions? Pretty much the same thing that happens when a woman loses/gains a lot of weight, and learns to take care of herself/let herself go: the opposite sex starts acting very differently toward them than before.

That sort of thing can make a man very cynical. Just as women might see men as shallow and appearance-focused, men might see women as fair-weather and two-faced.

Into this bitter mental stalemate strides The Believer.

The Believer believes in him. She thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. When he's up, she knew it all along and for that matter it's been too long coming. When he's down, she's certain it's unjust or temporary.

That is the kind of woman that attracts, or inspires a man into becoming, a bullet-taking, hard-working, keen-planning, joke-making, constantly-horny badass. It might even scare her what he would do for her if necessary.

It's not easy to be the Believer. It's easy to believe in a man who's doing well: it's right in front of your eyes! It's another thing altogether if he's doing poorly, or is sick, or addicted, or fearful, or ___. Believing then is an act of faith, an act of will. It means staying precisely when you're scared and want to run away.

It's a gift, and an act of trust. Sure, a bit of the magic here is that men are people too and can sometimes be unsure of themselves, and a cheerleader can encourage them forward. But another, and probably stronger, aspect is that men take acts of trust very, very seriously. Men live and die on respect, so trust is seen as a gift, and one that deserves and even demands repayment. Repaying that trust is an act of justice, which (again) men take very seriously.

This works in the reverse as well---men take distrust very personally. This explains a lot of the divide over #MeToo, with women saying, "I'm scared of you," and men saying, "Then fuck you!" with both sexes hurting the other more deeply with their words than they think they are.

Here's the thing: you don't know that you want an ambitious job, because you've never had one. You want something in your head that you've called "an ambitious job," but you don't know whether that corresponds with reality, and you don't know what the alternatives are. This isn't meant to be condescending, but rather cautionary. It's OK to be undecided, and learn.

rookebay · 2018-10-12T02:59:57+00:00

I think that “submissive” as a bad word is the overwhelming problem I’ve had with feminism. (College student where radical feminism is at every corner). I also think feminism has little to do with celebrating femininity and that it actually does a disservice to women (and men) to devalue our incredibly powerful feminine energy.

I think if you look through the rpw “strategies” in community info you will find that submission does not mean codependency or that a woman is unequal in value to a partner (or men in general). Just different? Like yin and yang.

Applying rpw concepts to my life has actually made me feel more competent and confident in my own abilities. It’s also made me feel enriched and more valuable in life and in my relationship.

girlwithabike · 2018-10-12T12:23:56+00:00

A lot of teens are ambitious. It is an age where you plan to change the world, or at least your own part of it.

This is the idealism of youth but most people do not have a career that fulfills all of their needs. Even if you like your job (and I like mine) there will be drudgery, people you don't like, stress, monotony. Unlike school, the people you work with aren't your friends (even if you get along or have a friend or two). You may progress quickly at times but there will be years where you are settled into a particular job and company. And at a some point, a lot of people look and say "ok, what else is there".

For some, "what else" does come in the form of career moves. However many woman (and men!) eventually decide they want a partner and kids to round out their lives.

You can have a career or a job that you love. I'd simply caution you not to put all your eggs in that basket. If you are somehow extraordinary, and have the ability to do extraordinary things with your life, then maybe a career can be sufficiently fulfilling. Most of us are average. Even those who are above average are still not extraordinary. My husband filed 6 patents over 2 years, he's an actual rocket scientist. His job is still paperwork and people he doesn't care for, tedious tasks with some really interesting work thrown in.

RPW comes in because what we talk about here gives you a tactical advantage with men. Submission is a strategy that works. It's not about equality or being better or less. We consider what men want and how being a good partner means giving your partner what they need.

I'd say most of the women on RPW either work or have worked at some point. Yes, there are some stay at home moms or wives, but that's not really what RPW is about. There are plenty of bachelors and advanced degrees. I think you'd be surprised by the women here. Your perception of us is based on what feminism has told you. You are still working to shake off a lot of that.

Can you find the man you want combined with the career you want... that is all on you. As a rule, women do not date someone lower status than themselves. As a rule, if you are focusing on your career, you are likely to not go looking for a partner until later in the game. These things will make it more difficult. Nothing is impossible. Learn what men are looking for and cultivate those parts of yourself. Just as you have expectations of a masculine alpha type and that is ok, most men have expectations of a soft feminine woman to come home to and that is ok.

Set some realistic expectations for yourself. Shadow someone in your chosen field if you can. Learn what your day to day life would look like at 30 and then decide what level of focus you should give to a career and what level of focus you should give to finding a partner then cultivating and maintaining the relationship.

Finally, don't be sure that 16 year old you knows what 26 or 36 or 46 year old you will want.

Wolfssenger · 2018-10-12T02:49:37+00:00

Well, let's start by recognizing that you're sixteen. To assert that you're mentally matured enough to correctly judge what you will want out of life is generous at best and dangerous at worst.

That being said, it is possible to find an alpha as a career woman, but much more difficult to maintain.

This lies in that you're going to be reducing your pool of eligible men to an infinitesimal size as women only date up, and being a proper career woman will necessarily make you less feminine as to be truly successful in a business sense not only must you work constantly, but you must be in and act out a masculine state of mind. I say this because it will invariably lower your rmv. As I say to many women "the last thing a man wants to come home to after a grueling day of fighting tooth and nail with other men is a woman emulating a man". You can certainly try to switch modes, but you can't switch everything off that is ingrained in you daily.

Furthermore, any kids you want to have will be raised by nannies and are highly likely to subconsciously resent their absentee parents. It's a physical impossibility to be a competitive career woman with an equally or more competitive husband and have enough time to spend with your children.

TRP is simply an extension of nature, and evolution has shaped us efficiently for specific roles. Thanks to liberalism, you can be a man if you really want to(pursue a career/status/etc.), but you're not going to find any tools beyond anecdote for making that work, and there's a sizeable portion of satisfaction statistics that suggest nothing other than that it's a bad idea for most if not all but the most anomalous women.

Lastly, I'd like to address the phrase "just a house wife". This is not a path you should precede with "merely". Modern women have lost sight of what makes them valuable aside from their reproductive capability and poor emulation of men. The keeping of homes, communities, families and relationships is vital to the survival of humanity and society. Without somewhere to return to, men are forced to fight to and die in exhaustion battling the chaos that surrounds us. It is the duty of women to consolidate and cultivate that conquered territory into something that is beautiful, ordered and rejuvenating. I think a lack of this is what serves to breed much of the chaos in modern society, as well as the wariness and resentment a lot of men feel towards women.

It may just be that you are the 0.1% and are truly suited to act as a man. If you believe so and can amply support that claim, so be it. But if not, society already has enough men, but we're in a drought of real women. If you're anything but that tiny percentage, a more traditionally feminine path will likely leave you happier and benefit society and the community around you more. It doesn't necessitate you be a SAHM, but perhaps codependency or a part time/work from home job, or even just working in a field or manner that does not necessitate you become a man for 14 hours out of the day is a better future than you think.

nowyougotdryballs · 2018-10-12T01:21:18+00:00

What is it about feminism that ultimately turned you off?

Kara__El · 2018-10-12T01:34:37+00:00

Many of us have fulfilling careers and advanced degrees. I, myself, have a master's degree and work full time as a teen librarian. Honestly, being so on top of things at work all of the time, makes it even more pleasing to hand over some of the control when I get home. You don't have to choose between one extreme or the other. You can take the middle ground. If something here makes sense for you, that's wonderful, and if something else doesn't, you don't have to scrap the rest.

lensneko · 2018-10-12T03:04:10+00:00

I'm also the same age as you and I used to be a feminazi. It is possible to be RP and have a successful career. I have barely stepped into the real world but my mom is an example of aforementioned type of woman that you seem to achieve. Throughout her life, she has had a successful career while also being humble about it. Being RP is not about your profession but rather your personality traits. Guys aren't looking to marry your degree or achievements, but rather want to marry a pleasant woman who is cooperative.

Seeing that you have debate skills, don't argue with him too much. In a relationship, both parties, since the beginning, have agreed to make each others' lives easier, but it end when one of them taints it with their bad attitude. (kind went off track but okay)

cocodecoca · 2018-10-12T12:30:40+00:00

You don't have to totally embrace one thing and reject the other.

I read quite a lot of books about feminism and I've learnt it's ok to be a critic of feminism without throwing the baby out with the bath water. There are some points of feminism I reject and some I embrace.

While I have chosen to start a family in the traditional way, I support that a lot of women want to screw around/focus on their careers until their mid thirties, because that's freedom - freedom to make bad decisions.

You can also support issues that apply to both men and women.

The internet is very polarizing, you don't need to pick a team, you're 16.

You can also have a career and a traditional family. My career has gone better than most of my peers, but it's not as good as it could be because my kids take up so much time. But you can get far enough with kids. There is a cap on how much pressure each individual can take and you might not want to get to the TOP top anyway.

curious_historian · 2018-10-12T07:18:05+00:00

I've looked trough your post and you've gotten a lot of good advice. Just keep in mind that you're 16, of course you don't want kids, at this age. Of course you don't feel like housewifing at this age and may see that "career" as failing or undesirable. Thats not only normal, but you should feel that way at your age.

There are however things you should keep in mind for the future. Our desires, goals and more change as we age. A woman in her early 20's may only want to party, have fun and enjoy life to it's fullest, but in late 30's she's panicking over not being married and not having kids, issues she didn't even think relevant or cared for at her younger age.

Take life at your pace and how you want it, but make sure you don't close off your options for good. Building up a reputation as a fun girl may not be that good for finding a proper mate later, there are millions of women out there that a good man can pick from. I understand that being an Ex Mormon all of this may sound alarming to you since you probably left to escape such order of things but don't let the domineering religious feelings get in the way of life.

TheSelfGoverned · 2018-10-12T13:39:50+00:00

Yes. Just make it clear that you aren't submissive in conversation and with your body language. You may turn off some men, but i guarantee you will find some who enjoy your confidence. Just make sure it doesnt bleed over into dominance or control over time, because that will ruin your relationship.

5400123 · 2018-10-12T01:21:01+00:00

Men want a strong life partner they can trust with a briefcase full of money. It's not about being a submissive housewife but a strong life partner. They just don't want to risk marrying a woman who is gonna demascluinize their sons or fly off the handle one night and divorce them because Rachel Maddow so and so insert outrage divorce your husbands fight the patriarchy!!