TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

86

DISCUSSION10 Books To Read In 2019 (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by HB3234

One of the things I like to do at the end of each year is compile a reading list of books for the new year. What will you be reading? In exchange for your recommendations for books, I'd like to offer a list of 10 RPW books to read in 2019. For veterans of the sub, these books might be well familiar. We are even embarking on a book club on one soon, which I can't wait for!

(1) How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes.
This book is packed full of concise, actionable advice to become a strong conversationalist. Instead of vague advice like "be engaged", she gives you questions you can ask to show you're engaged.

(2) When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - Manuel Smith ("WISNIFG")
This book is commonly recommended in male RP spheres but it is a gender neutral book about assertiveness. In fact, it has some wonderful parenting advice! It teaches you how to communicate your wants and needs in direct, honest, compassionate ways. It is the source of common terminology like "Fogging" and "Broken Record". It also discusses the manipulative habits many have & their roots, which is incredibly helpful for anyone who has struggled with passive-aggressive behavior.

(3) Surrendered Wife - Laura Doyle ("SW")
SW pairs beautifully with WISNIFG because it takes gender neutral advice on assertiveness and puts it into a specifically feminine frame. The focus is on communicating clearly what you want and need; ceasing manipulation and passive aggressive behavior; and step-by-step ways to place your husband at the head of the household. This book is one of the more accessible entry books to RPW content because it's aimed at the modern woman and the specific ways in which we sabotage ourselves/our relationships.

(4+5) For Women Only & For Men Only - Shaunti Feldhan
These books are very modern RPW content, too. For Women Only covers many sore points in modern relationships (such as what to make of wandering eyes). It also discusses the needs of men, many of which are eye opening if they've never been spelled out for you! For example, her surveys showed the overwhelming majority of men would rather be respected than loved, and the overwhelming majority of women would rather be loved than respected (in a situation where you could only pick one).
For Men Only is a worthwhile read for women because it allows for some good self-reflection. It may help you put a voice to some needs/wants which are otherwise hard to articulate. I personally cried like a baby when I read it because I felt so, so heard. It dredged up old hurts and gave me the space to reflect on & heal them.

(6) Fascinating Womanhood - Helen Andelin ("FW")
This one is core reading. It discusses the spiritual and earthly aspects of becoming a feminine woman, as well as how to honor and enable the role of masculinity (protector/provider/leader) in your husband. To do this, it draws on examples from history, classical literature, and the Bible. I return to this book again and again, although I am not a religious person at all. If you are a non-religious woman dating a man who is religious or was raised in religion (even loosely), reading this book will also help you understand his roots (and, I'd argue, our western cultural roots at large).

(7) Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood - David Coory
This book is often mixed up with the true FW. This one is told from the perspective of a woman named Angela, whose marriage is at a breaking point. She joins a FW class. Each chapter outlines one lesson and then the impact on her life as she follows the lesson's assignments. She grows into a happy, healthy woman with a healing marriage. Some people find the story format easier to relate to or follow along, so it's a great companion to the original FW.

(8) How To Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Like FW, this is a bit of an older book. This book is a primer on "empathy in action". It teaches you how to exude charisma by being humble, respectful, and genuinely engaged with other people. The chapters on leadership strategy will help you learn how to collaboratively tackle problems, but they'll also teach you leadership cues to look for when you're vetting a man. If possible, get the original text which includes "7 Rules to Make Your Home Life Happier".

(9) Why Men Love Bitches - Sherry Argov
This one might be a little controversial but I actually think it's more important for RPW than others. We put a lot of emphasis on vetting men and this book is actually one strategy to keep vetting, rather than falling too hard/too fast. For us, it's all too easy to fall into the trap of expending all our energy to show all of what we bring to the table before we pause to see if it's even reasonable to be doing so. Although I don't suggest anyone take the book's cooking suggestions too seriously, the core of the book emphasizes that you must always stay an interesting and engaged person; you must have healthy boundaries; and you must be vetting him. I actually think it's a pretty good female counterbalance to "No More Mr. Nice Guy".

(10) No More Mr. Nice Guy - Robert Glover
This is another book from the men's RP sidebar. Like WISNIFG, it's about being assertive and staying true to yourself, rather than losing your identity to interpersonal relationships. Because it is aimed at men (and especially men in dead bedroom marriages), it may not feel directly relatable to us at first. However, use it as an eye opener of the pitfalls and bad dynamics that can befall a marriage if you aren't vigilant. If you feel your relationship falling into some of the patterns or conflicts outlined in this book, it can be an eye opener for vetting (in newer relationships), or a sign that you may need to revisit your basics from SW and FW (within marriages/LTRs).


[–]durtykneesEndorsed Contributor19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've always posted practical advice in this sub, and today I find out that you're also very persuasive at recommending RP-relevant books because you write enticing summaries! Good stuff.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've found 'Why Men Marry Bitches' (which is a sequel) to be a more well-rounded read. Interesting idea to read the books written for male perspective, I'm adding no. 5 to my list :) Would also recommend 'Getting to I Do' by Pat Allen and 'Mating in Captivity' by Esther Perel. One book that helped me in early courting stages was 'Art of Seduction' by Robert Greene, although it's a bit different from the ones on this list, but still immensely helpful insight on being desirable.

[–]HB32343 Stars[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn't know there was a sequel. What's the difference in material covered between "why men love bitches" and "why men marry bitches"? These are going on my list! Thank you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve found the sequel to be more expanded with a focus on securing commitment

[–]SraSB5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Looking forwards to the book club. Which one is the first book to read to join the club?😊

[–]HB32343 Stars[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We are reading Helen Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood. U/JanuaryArya is leading it. :)

[–]SraSB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. 😊

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent stuff! I might need to add For Women/Men Only to my list, your write-up is very enticing!

I have been planning a reading list of books I want to do a 'deep-dive' into in 2019. I've read most of them and think they're worth an in-depth study. They're not all RPW related but I think they might be of interest anyway. On my list so far:

  • Fascinating Womanhood (which I've only skimmed so far - I know a lot of people rave about it but I haven't been impressed yet, need to give it a fair go).

  • Surrendered Wife (which I read ages ago then lost my copy; in need of a proper re-read).

  • The Art of Frugal Hedonism (re-read) - this one is about how to live frugally by really enjoying oneself. As an analogy, if you eat shitty low-fat ice cream, you're not going to be satisfied and you might end up eating the whole bucket. But, if you go to an ice cream parlor and order a single scoop of something divine and full-fat, you'll most likely be able to stop at just one. It's applying that principle to the whole of life - live well, live lightly and cheaply. Especially important if you want to retire early or give up work.

  • The Barefoot Investor (re-read) - mostly targeted at Australians, and a lot of it is super basic, but I want to go through and follow a couple of steps that I've been putting off (like re-negotiating our interest rate on my mortgage, completing an audit of all our bank fees, re-evaluating our investment strategies etc).

  • Breaking Free of Emotional Eating (Geneen Roth) - this has a related workbook that I want to go through. I have some food-related issues (emotional eating, restriction/binge cycles) that I want to get a handle on.

  • Retrosuburbia - I haven't read this one yet, it's sort of somewhere between permaculture, community-building, homesteading and activism. If I can ever get it from the library, it looks very good!

[–]putonthespotlight1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

On a similar-ish note - Does anyone have any fiction recommendations that feature RPW or RP couples?

[–]ZegiknieEndorsed Contributor4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I personally like the BBC tv series The Good Life. It's not exactly RPW/BP marriage, but the difference between the two couples (neighbors, one set trying to create a self sufficient homestead, the others living regular mainstream, but both breadwinner/housewife combos and set in the 70s) is really fun to watch. Also just very funny series apart from the relationship aspect.

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Call The Midwife is my personal favourite - lots of really lovely women, happy mothers, very cute babies, and nice marriages between manly men and feminine women.

Sidenote: It is quite feminist in many ways, but I think it's probably in line with lots of RPW's views. For example, it does a great job of showing how hard it was for women who weren't able to access birth control, or who were stuck in abusive marriages, or who had to raise children in poverty after abandonment by a spouse. I really love it.

[–]BePrivateGirl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this! I’m going to save this post!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter