I've been destroyed and am new here.

nartiz · 2018-04-26T06:17:52+00:00

Seems you ignored lot of red flags. There should have been a ton in this months. Man to man advice ? Be happy you didn't marry her and that your losses end now. Don't put the blame on her , she does what she wants with her life she manipulates you only because you allowed it . Time for you to understand the reasons you trusted so much in this person's and to learn from it. Read the side bar lot of useful information for you , put it into practice. That's the hard road, the "easy " road is just blaming her and feeling miserable because you allowed all this shitfest

KBeer01 · 2018-04-26T05:53:27+00:00

Man, don't SELF HARM OVER PUSSY!!! You're worth more than that! There are other women out there. As you found out this one wasn't such a catch after all. Think of it this way - you GOT OUT BEFORE THINGS GOT EVEN WORSE and also learned something. She would have remained the same lying and cheating bitch, and you would have never changed her if the relationship continued. Start reading the sidebar. Go out, see your friends, do your hobbies, chat up some girls, it's a big world out there. And NEVER, EVER THINK OF KILLING YOURSELF OVER PUSSY OR ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

EhzmwGGh · 2018-04-26T07:41:44+00:00

Get tested for STDs asap.

DiggerClam · 2018-04-26T07:02:33+00:00

This is probably the worst thing you'll read today.

Meh, pretty stock standard around these parts. Welcome.

Your real life starts, NOW.

LiftOrGTF0 · 2018-04-26T07:06:16+00:00

Holy ~~cuck~~ fuck. Block her everywhere and never, NEVER ever talk to her again.

Focus on yourself from now on. Start lifting those weights asap.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-04-26T08:21:51+00:00

Dated her 10 months.

You got off light. Imagine if you'd married her.

I loved her because she was wholesome

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

a good mother to her little girl

No single mums.

Early Feb this year she dumped me.

You should thank her for that.

Wanted to get married, have babies, move in together.

File under "Bullets, Dodged".

Yesterday I ask her some questions that have been weird paranoid feelings.

We have instincts for a reason.

I finally get the "whole" truth.

"So far"....

The entire duration of our relationship she was seeing her ex, approximately weekly.

No single mums.

Since early January (one month before our break up) she has been escorting. So far she's been with, by my calculations, 80-100 clients in those months.

LOFL! You hooked up with the Queen of Whore Island! "But I loved her because she was so WHOLESOME..."

She told me that was what happened, but that she'd stopped and since this month, since she turned around, there hasn't been any.

Like you should believe ANYTHING that come out of the mouth of that sperm-burpin' gutterslut.

When she fell asleep I took her phone and unlocked it. Password was my name. She's been with 7 or so this week alone, including the very day before.

DING!

I've been so betrayed. I never knew this level of manipulator exists. She's the best liar you could imagine, it's terrifying to imagine anyone could hide so much so well.

Yep. Be thankful you found this shit out before things got worse, and harder to get out of.

I feel like the world's biggest sucker.

Well you kind of are. But at the same time, you were up against a pro.

I am worried I might kill myself.

Don't be stupid.

I need support and man to man advice.

Lift. Sidebar. GFTOW. Get tested - she's a whore, after all.

re1ser · 2018-04-26T08:59:59+00:00

Hey buddy, I was there and I feel you. It sucks. You invested so much of yourself into her, for what? Nothing. Right now you feel a mix of emotions - confusion, sadness, anger, you still crave for her, you still want to fix it. But you can't. She was never yours and she will never be. She doesn't have same moral values as you. Don't even trick yourself for one second that she does. You've been meticulously manipulated and gaslighted all the way along. I know that right now you may not rationalize this, but with the time you will. It was not your mistake and it never was, shes just a worthless human being with no moral values or cognitive empathy that you put on a pedestal and ignored a plethora of red flags.

What you can do NOW, is to go absolute no contact with her. Block her on all mediums, make it impossible for her to contact you. It will be painful in the start and you will be tempted to contact her, but under no circumstances do it. She's a super toxic person and you cannot fix it. Noone can.

Then dedicate time to yourself. Start doing things that you like and fulfill you. Hit the gym. Meditate. Hang with good friends that don't cause emotional rollercoasters. Fill your daily agenda with the things that you like doing. This is extremely important and will clear up your mind with time.

You will eventually find yourself again and come to a realization that she was never worth your time. Sadness will be replaced with anger, first towards her for being a senseless human being, and then towards yourself for letting your guard so down and ignoring so many red flags. But you cared for her at one point in your life and be proud of that. Eventually with coming on terms with what happened you'll start to pity her since she'll never know for better.

If you turn this event around you could learn a lot from it. It is a blessing in disguise and probably one of the most valuable lessons in your life, you just don't know it yet. You will develop a military grade radar for bullshit in the future. You will learn how to purge toxic people out of your life immediately. And most important, you'll learn how to respect yourself.

Welcome to the new you.

takethedive · 2018-04-26T09:32:10+00:00

You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

TrueSplendor · 2018-04-26T06:40:33+00:00

Pull out. She’s a flaming dumpster. You’re better than this.

chazthundergut · 2018-04-26T13:47:11+00:00

WTF ARE YOU CRYING FOR??

THIS CHICK IS A SINGLE MOM. SHE IS A FUCKING PROSTITUTE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

YOU. ARE. BETTER. THAN. HER.

FALL TO YOUR KNEES AND THANK THE GODS THAT YOU DODGED THIS BULLET.

Now here is what you do:

Text her "I need a break" and then total 100% ghost. No explanations, no reasons, no discussions. Delete her from your phone, delete her from your life, and move the fuck on. You are done with that goofy whore.
Read the Red Pill sidebar material. Then read the top posts and their comments. Then re-read the sidebar. Order The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi and read that too.
Lift. Take all the pain and hurt and emotions and put them under the squat rack, put them under the bench press. For the next six months, forget about pussy altogether. Strength is your God now. The gym is your temple, and Iron your holy sacrament. Now get after it.

recentredpill · 2018-04-26T10:53:08+00:00

I'm dealing with issues in a 27 year marriage. Just cut your losses.

Martysteiner · 2018-04-26T10:30:07+00:00

Dude you just dodged a slut-marriage. Be thankful for it.

STDs test and you're good to go..

MattyAnon · 2018-04-26T13:08:23+00:00

s wholesome, a good mother to her little girl, and so easy to trust

Since early January (one month before our break up) she has been escorting. So far she's been with, by my calculations, 80-100 clients in those months.

Fuck that's rough man. I sympathise.

She told me that was what happened, but that she'd stopped and since this month, since she turned around, there hasn't been any.

Obviously you can't believe a word she says.

I can never trust anyone again.

You're right not to. But you can still have a great life. Especially if you need very little from anyone else.

hannlbaI · 2018-04-26T08:22:01+00:00

I'm gonna start off by saying that I get it. I've been where you've been. Not that I've ever dated someone that's been an escort, etc. No. But I have been cheated on, and manipilated, and it sucks. But, here's the thing. You're not worse off now. I know it seems like you are somehow worse than when you were with her, but that's false. That is your body reacting to change.

What is scary is that you almost married that lying piece of shit. You should thank your lucky stars that you dodged that bullet. Sure, it sucks that you wasted all your time and emotion on someone like that, but in the end who is better off? What you do now is what defines you. You can either let this ruin you, or you can decide that you are now in a better place and start moving forwards.

My suggestion is this - you're free and you now have nothing holding you back. Start working out; not to impress other people, but do it for yourself. Change and evolve yourself. Work to be better, and move forwards. Don't stay stationary. I guarantee that 1 year down the line you'll be happier, making money, working out, and living life for yourself. And where will she be? She'll be escorting herself for money. Who wins in the end?

Retstortion · 2018-04-26T10:38:55+00:00

I’ve read worse here.

You’ll be okay. Take care brother

Never return to that whore again

Ganaria_Gente · 2018-04-26T12:55:52+00:00

i believe even the simp subreddits would tell you to run.

DO NOT GO BACK please.

xxbigpigxx · 2018-04-26T13:16:51+00:00

I will tell you this empathetically.

I too was cheated on. 14 year marriage down the tubes.

Red flags were up before we even fucked 15 years ago, but I ignored because I was beta and I could "fix" her.

You can't. Ever. You can only ever fix you.

I came here a year ago, trying to fix my marriage. Read side bar, started lifting. I caught on to her cheating shortly after, and I reverted back to beta and did the pick me dance. It doesn't work. Trust me.

And for me, it wasn't even the sex she had. It was the lies and betrayal that killed me. The person I loved and trusted stabbed me in the back.

I finally gathered my balls and moved out. Getting raped by child support, but luckily it is only 5 years. I am MUCH happier now, and even paying child support, I have more money to spend on making me happy.

I would recommend you visit chumplady.com. It is an excellent resource for people who have been cheated on. Her articles helped me a bunch.

Kick dirt on the pile of shit and move on. Block her on everything and go strict no contact. It will be tough, but, take it from me, the most bluepilled person that ever was, you can do it. If I can, I know you can. Don't worry about how she will fare. Don't worry about how she feels. Don't worry about closure. Don't worry about getting the last word in or change g her mind. All that shit does is keep you locked into her. Trust me, I know it will be difficult, but you have to.

If you need help working through this, feel free to PM me.

[deleted] · 2018-04-26T14:17:54+00:00

Man, I wish I could get you some moonshine with some kool-aid right now.

Zanford · 2018-04-26T19:18:23+00:00

Pregnant? The way she SUDDENLY wanted to get married ASAP after sleeping with a ton of other dudes makes me think she wants to put you on the hook for alimony+child support ASAP.

You know what to do. Go get an STD test ASAP, and ghost her and never look back.

If she comes afer you for child support...get a lawyer ASAP and do what your lawyer says, not what Reddit says from that point on. NO contact except through the lawyer. The good news is that the kid is probably not yours.

Elitevaz · 2018-04-26T11:59:42+00:00

It sucks to find this out. However, you haven't detailed any actual damage. So far as we can tell here, the real bullet hasn't struck yet. You feel like shit, but you can still dodge the bullet it sounds like. You said she is a good mother to her little girl, sounds like that is not YOUR little girl, too. So from what I understand, you have no kids with her and you are not married to her. Perfect! Make sure it stays that way! You can just keep her as a plate for fun if you like or just get rid of her entirely. She must be pretty since she's selling herself. Just make sure you protect yourself.

About her lying. This is likely what is stinging you the most. You put trust in her that she didn't deserve and she used it to manipulate you. TRP principles can help to explain her behaviors if you apply them to her, logically. How can she do this? - It's just hamster spinning. Her hamster rationalized and twisted her own reality to make it ok for her to do this. This principle has the purpose of letting you know, logically, that ANY woman (usually with the exception of your own mother if you have a good relationship with her) is capable of this. Any necessary action can be rationalized until it becomes ok to do. It doesn't matter how innocent she seems, she will do it if needed. You've likely got a lot of oneitis too. That makes things hurt a lot, you need to see your time with her as having a turn with her, not that she was "yours". Internalize that no woman will ever be yours. You can have a turn that lasts until the end of your life, but she's not yours. The other principles can apply to your situation too and they are there to help you understand her actions, in a logical sense, so that you can appropriately respond. Appropriately responding, is not doing something to hurt yourself. It's getting your emotions back under your control. It's showing her that she lost something special by betraying you, by manipulating you. It's about making your life better for you, not ending it. She is not the only pretty girl out there and there is another, many others, that will treat you with the respect she didn't give you, and enjoy doing it. Craving to do it.

You can gain control of this situation and make a positive outcome for yourself using TRP, just as it helped you get another turn with this woman after she ended it earlier. Get over your feelings and start making yourself even better.

daveofmars · 2018-04-26T13:35:45+00:00

I am worried I might kill myself.

Why? She's not worth it. You can weather this shitstorm. I know you can because others have been through much worse and made it out okay.

It doesn't sound like you have kids with her. It doesn't sound like you're married. From your post, it doesn't seem like there is anything physically keeping you and her together.

There were guys who have been divorced by their decades-long wives, racked over the coals, and had everything taken from them from the exact same deception. The bright side is you have a way out and you can continue your life.

Yeah, your emotions got wrecked, and you're going to feel like this for a while, but get out of there and continue on.

fuckedest · 2018-04-26T14:03:43+00:00

Well if she was polite to you, paid her way through the relationship and was generally a good time, I'd say you had yourself a very good LTR.

It's a shame she hid all those things from you, but it doesn't sound like you would have been 'with' her if she had told you.

This is how they justify such actions. To them it isn't betrayal, it is what had to be done to have the life they were trying to live.

This, in a transparent light with a room mate, sounds to me like the ideal plate. I bet she fucks like a god.

Best you can do is get away from her and work on yourself. Recognize that it is all on her, you did your best and it is wonderful that she wants to marry you.

That means your future is very bright, she's not the only woman that will desire to be with you. Enjoy your freedom. Never forget, and never compromise your future for that of someone else.

You have an obligation to yourself to work hard for yourself first. Become incredible and share that sparingly with those that behave.

Good luck!

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2018-04-26T15:09:43+00:00

1) You were with her 10 months. You didn’t love her. You loved the idea of what you thought she was.

2) To many, single mothers are a red flag.

3) Remember this: When a woman wants space, time, or a break, she is fucking another guy or just about to.

4) She’d teach out to you because you were the nice guy doormat. The other guy would fire his load into her mouth and ass and send her on her way.

5) Hmmmmmmmmm. Wanted to get married and have babies? Well, we can easily say that, during her break, she managed to fuck and suck that cock so much, she convinced herself that she “got it out of her system” and can now settle down with you.

6) Building on point 5, maybe she suspects pregnancy by him, so she’ll fuck you to make it seem like you’re the father, then fuck you with child support that you’ll pay for another man’s seed. Doesn’t matter. Since you hook up with her and presumably kiss her, you’ve been tasting that seed anyway, right?

7) No. You didn’t get the whole truth. You still got trickle truth. That said, she finally admitted to which cock she was sucking and whose cum you were tasting when you kissed her and licked her pussy.... chump.

You don’t have to kill yourself. Just stop pretending all women are princesses who are naive, innocent little snowflakes. They aren’t. Even the most innocent seeming bookworm still wants to get (or has already been) fucked by a Neanderthal.

Next time, enjoy your relationship by NOT turning the girl into an LTR and by NOT pretending you found one that’s different. When you stop lying to yourself, you see the truth everywhere.

[deleted] · 2018-04-26T15:41:24+00:00

Dated her 10 months.

So really no skin off your ass; 10 months is nothing.

a good mother to her little girl,

So you're dating and falling in love with single moms? Don't do this. Not now. Not ever.

Now ask yourself the following questions: (1) did she spend your money? (2) did she give you a STI? (3) did she get pregnant with your seed?

If the answer is 'no' to those three questions, you're not "destroyed"; you haven't lost a damn thing. She doesn't owe you anything and you don't owe her anything. Move on.

Metalgear222 · 2018-04-26T18:05:31+00:00

I smell bs with the "took her phone while she was asleep her password is my name". Although the rest seems completely plausible.

Man to man, in the future, don't ignore red flags. Your gut has hunches for a reason.

Ninokun · 2018-04-26T11:46:51+00:00

This is one of those Storys that pops up every 2 or 3 months. at least it hit u at some point some pill is easier to swallow like that.

Im not sure how much of a Relationship with her u were having anyway, fucked a guy every week. became a prostitute 1 month before break up and now that u are still together she has seen 7 clients this week? also 14 hour pulling teeth marathon, dont do this u dont need closure. if u feel something isnt right u just leave.

maybe she even got a kick out of telling you all this Information.

Only Advice i can give u is this one, : a Woman that is genuinenly in love with or attracted to u will try to spend as much as time as possible with, if u dont see that dont call it a relationship especially dont be exclusive. a woman always has time for u. if not ur her beta bux

stylesm11 · 2018-04-26T11:48:21+00:00

Please OP this is a new beginning for you, you just have to open your eyes. If not for yourself stay strong and realize for your baby girl

stinjoshua · 2018-04-26T12:49:30+00:00

How do you red pillers feel about Corey Wayne? As soon as I read "hang out, have fun, hook up" I knew he was referring to Corey Wayne. Wayne has very solid advice when it comes to dating. However, it is more geared to men in there 30s, 40s who are the cringiest of them all. (Guys who have lived three-four decades without ever actually learning how to court women.) Red pill advice is more in-depth.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-04-26T13:41:12+00:00

I loved her because she was wholesome, a good mother to her little girl,

Stopped reading here. Single mother? ALWAYS PASS.

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/11/dating-single-mothers-just-say-no-a-note-for-all-the-single-dudes/

AncientDragons · 2018-04-26T15:09:42+00:00

"I am worried I might kill myself. I need support and man to man advice."

It's natural to be dismayed and hurt when betrayed this significantly. But this was not your fault. This is on her. You were being a good person. Don't let depression take you over because of the actions of a bad person.

bruiser18 · 2018-04-26T15:11:08+00:00

it's terrifying to imagine someone could hide so much so well.

Fucked isn't it. Get rid of that bitch, she will suck the life out of you (no pun intended) the way my ex did for months. On top of that, dating an escort? Nah. Fuck that, get out of there man.

TonytheNetworker · 2018-04-26T15:40:19+00:00

Obviously, you got a wealth of information on here. Now, I'm curious... How exactly did you hear about the red pill?

Herdsengineers · 2018-04-26T15:48:32+00:00

Some people are master manipulators and skilled at deception. She appears to be one of them. She has just revealed her true self to you. That's all. She's not the great woman she sold you she was. She is, instead, a flawed human just like the rest of us. In her case, very flawed.

For right now just be lucky you weren't married to her and can get away with nothing more than hurt feelings. Those heal a lot easier than financial ruin and other fallout from divorce, or having to move out of a cohabitation, or having kids together.

For now, forget about her, and what she did. People do shitty things all the time. Block her, ghost her. This level of deception doesn't deserve explanation or closure from you about it. Just be gone. You never owe anyone anything when they disrespect you, especially this badly.

Next, start exercising self care. Nobody else will take care of you, so you have to do it yourself. Basics are gym/exercise, good diet, good sleep, and keep yourself good at work. Beyond that, get some social time with good friends or family. Then, work in some extra's for you. A long weekender, vacation away, etc. Treat yourself somehow. Doesn't have to be big. When I need a self-treat, I usually go to the shooting range and rent a gun I haven't fired before to try it out.

You're the prize, and she just showed you she's not worthy of the prize. That's all that happened. Move on, build yourself into an even better prize and be happy with yourself because of it.

PhaedrusHunt · 2018-04-26T16:35:01+00:00

The good news is you've already been as stupid as you possibly could be.

Have fun getting smart.

Seriously, the ONLY way you can actually be dumber is to kill yourself over this literal whore.

Don't be that guy. Imagine that obituary.

Average Frustrated Chump kills self over whore.

Nowhere to go but up.

Cut all contact and lift (or bjj).

Peter_B_Long · 2018-04-26T16:50:49+00:00

Well, you're in the right place.

Shit sucks. I've been through it. I plated this girl in high school. One of the most beautiful girls in school, she modeled. She had a boyfriend in a different school. We were friends and she would complain about him all the time. I never in a million years thought I could have a chance with her so I didn't give a fuck when I was with her and turns out that she was into that shit. I lost my virginity to her. We were sneaking out at 4am to have sex for a few months.

She breaks up with her boyfriend. I get STRONG feelings. I keep wanting more and more from her. Sex isn't enough. I want us to be official. I want the whole school to know that we're dating. I give her gifts, poems, I cry in front of her. Tells me that she doesn't want to become official yet because she doesn't want people to think that she's a slut for jumping in a relationship so quick and tells me that her ex is psycho and he would start drama.

I still can't accept what we have and keep pushing for more and more. Eventually she gets tired of it and ghosts me. I'm heartbroken. 2 months later she contacts me and tells me she's pregnant. She was 18, I was 17. I assume the baby is mine with no questions and although I was freaked the fuck out that I was gonna be a father, I was kinda glad that I now had a reason to have her in my life.

Through the pregnancy she becomes very cold. I lose attraction and I start talking to other girls. After fighting every day for a few weeks, she ghosts me again. I don't care. I do care about the baby so I text her weekly asking her if she needs anything. I go to her work on Mother's Day and bring her flowers.

My mom never liked her. I told my mom we were "dating" and she would ask why she still had pictures of her ex on her facebook. My mom didn't like how she wouldn't want to hangout in public with me. My mom just always felt "off" with her. My mom calls me one day and tells me that she spoke to a psychic and he told her that the baby wasn't mine and that she's been sleeping with 2 other guys. My head started spinning. I spoke to the psychic and he told me the same things.

All of a sudden, things started to click. All of the red flags hit me in the face at once. That one time she hungout with a friend of mine and he tried to kiss her but she didn't kiss back (this dude was huge, he was spinning plates while in an LTR, I'm sure she fucked him). The one time I dropped off her sister at her house and I saw her ex's car parked in the driveway (I believed her when she said he was just parked there cause he was visiting a friend). Her not wanting to be seen with me in public, her ex threatening me to stop talking to his girl after they "broke up", and most importantly, the fact that the due date was 9 months after she had ghosted me and we hadn't had sex around that time. I heard the baby's heart beat, I had plans of proposing to her.

I just KNEW that the baby wasn't mine. I drove to her work and I confronted her (this was after we hadn't talked in weeks). I told her, "I know the baby isn't mine, fuck you." and I stormed out.

That was it. We ghosted each other and haven't talked since.

I discovered the TRP 4 years later, and I wish I had discovered it sooner because I was in an LTR for 5 years after her.

So yeah, I know how you feel. I was lied to for 2 years and I was very depressed my senior year of high school. I was almost cucked into raising a baby that wasn't mine and marrying a lying whore.

But you know what, I'm perfect now. I moved on a long time ago and I'm genuinely happy now. I've been spinning plates, I've been making wonderful experiences with friends and family, and I've grown and improved myself so much.

I'm okay, and you're going to be okay. Study TRP. Take action in your life and put this shit in the past.

Good Luck.

OneRedSock · 2018-04-26T18:34:43+00:00

There's a reason why in Dante's Inferno the bottom layer of hell is Betrayal -- and you're just now understanding why this is the case through great emotional upheaval.

There will be many things you will need to learn moving forward, but a fundamental one has already been said: you will have to take your new found, first-hand knowledge about the nature of women and use it to protect yourself moving forward. This means accepting that women are only a side-quest in your life. That your meaning of a healthy life does not depend on the whims of an emotionally flighty creature who can change her mind like a light switch can turn on and off.

You will be able to trust people again, but I guarantee that you'll have a new definition of trust moving forward. You will not give up, but find a way to protect yourself so that your very valuable life is not threatened by selfish betrayers.

Most fundamentally, your definition of self can never ever be tied into the women you date. The love your looking for does not exist, and many men who thought they found it for a time ended up putting a bullet in their brain.

Focus on yourself now and your social network outside of anything having to do with this woman. Focus on building yourself up better than before. It will be a long process but TRP offers plenty of information on how to re-correct your aims in life and create a more self-actualized existence that doesn't allow for your self worth to be tied into the women you're seeing. This will save your life.

AnjaJutta · 2018-04-26T18:54:44+00:00

How much does she charge per hour?

Joking bro, time to do the hard thing and work on becoming happy by yourself.

PofiePofie · 2018-04-26T19:35:20+00:00

Dude I thought this would be a normal cheating story, came to say I’m sorry that sucks but it happens don’t let it beat you up... but holy fuck. She’s a skank. Get yourself tested ASAP man and don’t be sad over this you’re lucky as shit you didn’t tie the knot with this whore

nwhitey12 · 2018-04-26T19:40:39+00:00

Sorry this happened man, I suggest you

Dump her ass
Get tested for STDs
Sue her ass if she had an STD and you contracted one from her
Once you're in the clear get back on the market

killmenow1187 · 2018-04-26T19:41:32+00:00

At least you don't have herpes

chim_city · 2018-04-26T20:30:39+00:00

Feel great this is someone else's problem now.

You dodged a hand grenade

edit: I wish this happened to me when I was 18, to learn TRP young. Something tells me you won't forget this lesson.

monsieurhire2 · 2018-04-26T20:37:07+00:00

You dodged a bullet. Be happy. Learn from your mistakes move on. Also, don't kill yourself, or one of us will come down to Hell and kill you for all eternity, to paraphrase that marine sergeant.

zboo1h · 2018-04-26T23:36:50+00:00

Trust your gut, always. Nothing opens your eyes more than getting into a woman's phone. It's a pathetic, disgusting thing for a man to do, to lay himself so low and forget his own self respect so much as to snoop on some lowlife broad, but I believe a few of us here have been there, myself included.

What you need to do is value yourself above all - you have the mentality of scarcity. This hurts a lot right now for you - betrayal is something that hurts almost as much as the death of a loved one, it stings and stings and stings. That's because you valued her more than yourself. You let her do the basic bitch "I need space" shit. You should have ghosted her right then and there, and I bet you know that.

You dodged a fucking disgusting bullet, my dude. I'm sorry that you have to reduce yourself to spying to get the truth, but it will set you free.

fuckedest · 2018-04-26T22:30:25+00:00

You mention she's got a girl. Thats not yours? She's a single mother?

Cut the cord. Get the fuck out of there and focus on yourself for awhile. Your issue is you are feeling the wrath of pairbonding. But there's no going back after this. You know. I know it. It's dead.

No woman is worth killing yourself over.

BurnieSlander · 2018-04-26T23:14:28+00:00

I mean this sincerely- Congratulations. You’ve taken the rite of passage into reality. 2 small points for ya:

Read up on the 7 stages of grief so that you don’t get stuck in one of them (lots of dudes spend years in anger phase).

Don’t get jaded. Great women are out there, she just wasn’t one of them.

doctorlw · 2018-04-26T23:15:12+00:00

I won't be able to say anything that hasn't already been said but you have just been given an extremely valuable lesson. This is possibly the best thing that could have happened to you... it may not feel that way now, but someday you will realize how important this experience was in your life.

You could have married her.

You could have gotten her pregnant.

Before finding out all you did over the last week or so, would you have been appalled with either of those scenarios or would you have actually been a bit excited? Now with what you have learned, would you feel the same way?

This is essentially being caught speeding 30mph over the limit and getting let go with a warning. Learn from it and move on.

fattybread83 · 2018-04-26T23:36:39+00:00

It's better to be strong living in truth than to live comfortably in someone else's lie.

Go your own way. Don't take her back.

kayfab · 2018-04-27T00:53:50+00:00

You need to start reading the red pill and awake, honestly 10 months, i was with my ex 10 years before she ditch me for a co worker telling me she never loved, we did not have kids but a beautiful house. She told me she never loved me.....

6 years single MGTOW and loving every minute of it, women are useless and boring... if you have some hobbies you will see that women bring 0 things to the table a part sex for a very limited time...

alpha-zach · 2018-04-27T12:37:26+00:00

Geez bro. What a mind fuck. We’ve all been completely screwed by life. It’s doubtless, some guys here have your same story, but found out after 10 years of marriage and a couple kids.

Life has a way of bringing a man back to zero every decade or so. This is what makes us resilient and strong. This forges us into the man that women want and men envy. Keep your head up. Cry in private. Move life forward one day at a time. You’ve experienced difficulty before, this too will pass.

Great men are forged in fire, it’s the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.

MyFavoriteDude · 2018-04-28T17:47:45+00:00

You were taught a hard, but important lesson...that there are some truly evil and selfish people out there. It's a tough pill to swallow, but you need to just go through the pain of truly internalizing that reality and be extra careful with who you date in the future.

That being said, there is no way to 100% protect yourself from these sorts of things. If you let someone into your life, there is a chance they will destroy it.

But don't try to get over what this one did to you too quickly. You need to feel it and learn from it and it will lower the chance of something similar happening again in the future.

And as the other dude said, it could have been so much worse. She didn't steal all your money or put you in the hospital or give you incurable STD, etc. You got off light from a shitty person like this and just move on and be extra careful in the future.

suxxos · 2018-04-26T12:08:46+00:00

Well, dudes act this way too, I have a friend who is engaged but it doesn't stop him from smashing 3 or 4 other girls each week. You just had bad luck.

YouLoveThisBTW · 2018-04-26T12:28:35+00:00

Don’t get her pregnant.

magx01 · 2018-04-26T14:10:28+00:00

LTR's are unnatural. Female biology is 100% working against the idea of monogamy. The culture you were raised in caused this. Read the book Sex at Dawn and maybe you'll stop feeling this way (suicidal).