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Why do I lose all my confidence and momentum after jerking off? (self.asktrp)

submitted by blattebasket

It's not something I've noticed until a few weeks ago. Everytime I jack off, I immediately feel withdrawn and not at all happy & energetic. It's like I lose my confidence, wit, humor and everything else (both in person and text game). And it can last for days before getting recharged.

I feel like I'm on point and on top of my game when I havent beaten it in a few days/weeks.

Is this just me?


[–]Rkingpin151 points152 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

You've tricked your nervous system into thinking you've achieved your life purpose.

Cue the cocktail of lazy hormones

[–]markinsinz717 points18 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

The question is why do some other guys not feel this way though.

I believe Testosterone levels have a lot to with it.

[–]Classy_Amir18 points19 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Do your research. Testosterone levels drop SLIGHTLY after masturbation and will get back to normal shortly.

[–]markinsinz73 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yea except I'm starting to think my test levels were generally always slightly below average. It's why I don't go out there and do shit with my life and generally have to force myself into it. As much as I love my parents - fuck genetics

[–]Kpwn886 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As much as I love my parents - fuck genetics

Easy to blame your parents, but it's not their fault your T is low.

Blame yourself for eating shitty food.

Blame yourself for not getting enough exercise.

Blame yourself for using cheap, chemical ridden soaps full of endocrine disruptors.

If you want higher testosterone, eat mostly paleo/keto, and lift weights. The higher your muscle mass and lower your bodyfat, the higher your T levels.

Buy natural Castile soaps, and make sure to get at least 6 hours of sleep per night.

Make sure you are getting adequate zinc and vitamin D in your diet, and taking adaptagens like ashwagandha can help reduce estrogen reuptake.

Testosterone is made from cholesterol mainly while you sleep. Eating a few soft boiled eggs an hour or two before bed give your body fuel to make plenty, plus the protein will aid in muscle growth.

Most of all, lose the victim mentality.

And quit being a fairy.

[–]maloven0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is soap that important? Links to sources?

[–]mickey__5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

why do you think it has anything with your T levels?

[–]ppanthero0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do a blood test. Everything else is just guessing.

[–]Luftiwaffe-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

yes but no. T levels doesn't significantly change, BUT the testosterone receptors drop in number. which lowers T effects. and even more than that, excessive masturbation leads to higher number of estrogen receptors which leads to the "female hormones" effect

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This sounds like some /nofap pseudo-science crap.

Your test receptors don't change from jacking off once. That makes absolutely no sense.

What is "excessive"... in fact, you should just link some really good sources for all this, because it really does sound like the garbage they peddle over at /nofap.

[–]t_jones7304 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There’s actually a study with rats that confirms that testosterone receptivity drops, just not testosterone itself over consecutive periods of ejaculation. I’d throw a source in here but I’m lazy and am going from memory.

Edit:

For the smart ass below who talks out his ass: here’s the research. You might need a higher IQ to understand it.

Androgen receptivity goes down.

[–]KnoxHarrrington1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Rats dont even fap

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[–]xNightly0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The study was done with dopamine receptors in rats with different stimulants, not testosterone lmao.

[–]t_jones7300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here. Page 24.

[–]Rkingpin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Who says they don't?

Personally I don't jack it. I even feel slightly lethargic after sex.

No need to extend those feelings for meaningless wanking.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Meaningful wanking is a good thing.

There is nothing wrong with pulling one out now n then.

[–]matt6752 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It has to do with dopamine levels. Higher dopamine = stronger, more “with it”, confident. You tank your dopamine when you orgasm

[–]DayGameChirality0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Testosterone does have a lot to do with it, just try steroids and see how it affects the problem OP stated.

But it doesn't explain it fully. There are guys that truly don't get demotivated by either sex or jerking off.

I find this extraordinary and wonder how is it possible.

It is also not matter of strictly prolactin levels being elevated and thus dopamine levels being tanked. One could try taking bromocryptine or cabergoline and see it for their own - those prolactin suppressors don't (nearly) fully stop this phenomena.

So what is it? IMO, it is the mind becoming blunt due to receiving pleasure, satisfaction. Thus, sex and wanking off don't differ from reading the Internet, smoking a cigarette or writing a rant on reddit.

Another thing is the body having physically "full" balls, or having a lot of semen being produced. I have noticed that things that increase ejaculate volume/production increase libido (in Jungian sense of this word) much more than traditional aphrodisiacs like stimulants. Therefore HCG, Clomid, practice of edging, looking at sexy women, sex expectation, etc. all increase libido

[–]blattebasket[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean?

[–]Rkingpin20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Your body is designed to reproduce.

Your brain does not differentiate between sex and wanking.

Therefore an orgasm from jacking it off to a harem of virtual woman causes a physiological crash of sorts for a while.

Hormones which basically make you relaxed and passive are released. You lose the pumped/ uber masculine feeling you get when your balls are full of juice.

Call it a refractory period (recovery). The more extreme the porn, the longer the recovery too.

[–]Morphs_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you ever had sex? For me, an orgasm through masturbation feels completely different than an orgasm through sex. It also feels different afterwards. The brain is definitely able to distinguish sex groom masturbation, hormonal effects are different.

[–]DayGameChirality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

FYI, you are also scientifically correct. The body does distinguish from masturbation. CBB to search for the paper right now.

[–]Ezreal31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It'd be nice if we could unpack that a bit more

[–]The_Phoenecian41 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is certainly not just you. I gather that some guys can do it and feel no negative changes, while others feel effects like those you described: apathy, low energy, lack of game, antisocial tendencies etc.

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I fall into the latter category as well. Just stop doing it for a while and see how much better things get. Best of luck.

[–]Radinax17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Happens to me as well, meditating helped me a LOT.

[–]blattebasket[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I do meditate daily and have been for 6 months, for other reasons ofc

[–]Radinax1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Then fill your time with stuff to do so you don't get time to even think about jerking off.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That is horrible advice. Why stop jerking off? It's perfectly healthy, as well as the relaxation effect afterwards.

looks like /nofap is leaking again. :(

[–]Radinax17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everytime I jack off, I immediately feel withdrawn and not at all happy & energetic

If he feels like that then he should stop for a while.

[–]bilabrin14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Having an orgasm triggers hormonal changes in your body. It absolutely has a noticeable effect. I can't speak for others but the longer it's been since I came, the more energetic and confident I feel....to a point. After 6 weeks it gets a bit weird.

[–]ridethebeat 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

What happens to you after 6 weeks?

[–]bilabrin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I start to get a bit agitated irrationally and women I wouldn't normally find attractive start to seem kinda hot. Its like the prison effect where more and more starts to seem plausible. Also there are "discharges" from my dick when I take a dump. I assume its like an overflow valve from my balls being too full. So anyway, at that point the aggression and libido are high enough to cause frustration which counterbalances the confidence and energy.

[–]koedeloe15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I only fap once a week and before I go to bed after a heavy workout, makes me sleep well.

[–]thiikn9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Actually fapping does help me get away from emotional shit... You see, a few hours ago I felt the urge to message the oneitis I'm trying to kill, so I fapped and it instantly went away. My posture changed immediately and I went back to focusing on important stuff.

Of course the natural remedy to oneitis is abundance, so jerking off was an escape because I haven't reached my goals. Apart from that I only jerk off every 3 days (after that I can't focus) or the day before the day I know I'm certainly having sex (so I don't cum within minutes).

[–]Aurora92112 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Replace the word "fapped" with "shot some heroin" and read that again.

[–]thiikn3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't do heroin but wouldn't mind some coke.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace18 points19 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

It has to do with your dopamine reward system being fucked with. As I understand it, dopamine is the chemical primarily associated with motivation, ambition, drive, etc.

[–]mickey__2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

what’s the way of repairing dopamine system?

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cardio, meditation, and removing the unhealthy habits from your life.

  • cellphone
  • porn
  • jerking off
  • YouTube
  • high sugar foods

Just to name a few. These are the popular instant gratification choices

[–]nolanrj441 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Cardio

[–]jaw86252 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

this is very true. At least 20 mins 4 times a week of moderate-cardio. This took away my cravings for everything I was ever addicted to

[–]GucciMarxist0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Seriously or just joking? Does cardio have a different effect than other weight training in relation to "resetting" dopamine?

[–]jaw86250 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I actually did some research on it when I was in college, and the latest studies have shown that consistent cardio in the moderately intense range actually has neuroprotective effects on dopamine neurons - it essentially prevents addictions from occurring and yes, will reset the system combined with abstinence from whatever you're addicted to. Intense cardio and weightlifting do not do this - and can even be addicting themselves because of the short bursts of intensity

[–]GucciMarxist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

interesting, i will definitely check into this. thanks

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

being fucked with

lol not fuked with. It's a natural, healthy relaxation after climax.

There's nothing wrong with it at all.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It depends on your frequency. How many guys do you know that jerkoff once per month in the year 2018. The average frequency is more like 1-2 per day,and pornography is most likely involved each time. The problem isn’t so much jerking off so I do agree with you that the occasional masturbation with no porn involved is natural. However it’s the pornography that acts like a drug, similar to cocaine.

[–]cat_magnet5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I only cum when I fuck now. I enjoy sex a lot more and feel a lot more motivated. I do have a live in LTR and up until a few days ago I had a tasty fwb as well so it wasnt too hard. I think if I didnt have sex then I would cum weekly.

[–]KrustyKrabReject31 points32 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Head over to /nofap. See how things are for you.

[–]pocket_rocketsin-9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

While nofap subreddit is mostly bullshit, the principle behind it are solid

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

the principle behind it are solid

No, not at all.

Masturbating once in a while is perfectly healthy and normal.

If you're such a freak that you can't keep your hands off your dick more than 15 min,

no stupid reddit sub is going to help you.

[–]dons902 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And regular masturbation (assuming your sex life isn't as active) helps to reduce the risk of prostate cancer from what I've read.

[–]ZeppKfw2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's no proof of that yet. Even if you don't masturbate you will still have night emissions and that's basically still using your reproductive organs.

[–]xNightly43 points44 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Don't. Honestly that subreddit is hands down the cringiest shit I have ever encountered. I do NoFap myself but they literally treat the thing as some kind of superpower.

[–]Atheist_Utopia63 points64 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

No the cringy part is that they're full of bluepilled idiots.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar52 points53 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"I felt really courageous today, so I walked up to a girl and told her she was beautiful. She smiled politely and didn't say anything. Still, that felt really good!"

"Great job, brother! Just keep it up!"

[–]WeakStreamZ9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“I carried her books to class, then she farted in my face and gave me pink eye. I think I’m in love.”

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This^

[–]HurricaneHugues26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They treat it like a cult. Once they start Nofap, it's all aboit saving themselves for marriage. It's so fucking cringy. They pat each other on the back just for holding eye contact with a female cashier.

[–]xrKles18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bro.. you gotta start somewhere. Some of it is very cringe.. i agree

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes but they don't want to advance. Sone of them have been on that sub for YEARS.

[–]1319Skew6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So I can't really fly if I don't fap for 321 days?

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

oh god no.

Don't send anyone over to /nofap, unless it's to laugh at the freakshow.

They have absolutely nothing of value to offer. Bunch of cult-like pseudoscience and downright nonsense.

[–]jaw862513 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel exactly the same way. Not even just my game - its like life just feels dreary/dull/like im not all the way there. After a few hours of work or going to the gym, that feeling usually goes away.

man, its as addictive as any drug - and ive been addicted to them all. I used to have days where I would jack it 7-8 times. Going out into the world after that you just feel like a ghost.

I was doing nofap from september - november. Let me tell you - I never felt sharper, more confident, more content, strong and optimistic on a consistent basis in my life. I had so much energy. I also was having sex generally 3-4 days a week, so that helped. My dick game was unreal. You cant go crazy, my rule was if I went 10 days without sex (which did happen once) I would let one slip out.

Unfortunately, I relapsed about 4 days ago. And already its a problem again. Its kind of like smoking - the first 3 days are hard and then it gets easy. I need to get back on track tomorrow.

[–]blattebasket[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Without all the sex, how'd you think you'd do?

[–]jaw86257 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would definitely have to let one out every 10 days or so like i said. Just once is not enough to grab the dopamine system. 3 days in a row is though. Its literally like drugs.

Idk - I went 8 days and that was a little rough - but I just kept looking forward to when I'd get to blow that sweet huge load on some chicks back (it wound up being in a girls mouth in my car - she teased it too stopping right before I came and then going back - she was blown away by how much she swallowed ("holy shit that just kept coming and coming")

Basically, in summary - it would have been a lot harder. But you probably will have sex - it motivates you, your social skills will be sharper, and women will sense your increased masculinity.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it doesn't work for you, don't do it. I noticed this as well. I get all lazy and soft. I found I get this way after eating an unhealthy meal too. Your main hindbrain drive in life is reproduction and food. Once you achieve those your brain doesn't see fit to do anything else. Your mission is complete. Some guys don't have a problem, but that's because we're all different.

[–]Wolveryn4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Low serotin from too much sex or porn fogs the mind...

The human mind isn't engineered for that degree of highs and lows that often.

For most of history we've spent most of our efforts surviving... obeying no sex before marriage rules... and lower sex drives from poorer health.... Its not natural to jerk off... it strips you of your manhood.

[–]SalporinRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gotta just break the cycle of beating it every 1-2 days. The way my schedule works I have a heavy lift thursday night and rub one out before I go to bed. I sleep like a baby and I simultaneously "clean the pipes" before any sexual activity during the weekend. That's my only jerkoff session of the week and there's some weeks where I don't jerkoff at all because of seeing plates during the week.

[–]Flintblood2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kek. Bro science questions always get the most responses

[–]Flintblood2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think time of day could be a factor. Fapping during bedtime or before waking up might affect you less.

If I’ve had real sex during the day, I feel more on top of the world like I’m wearing that afterglow aura all day. If you fap in the middle of the day, you’re more likely wearing an aura of shame.

EDIT: Get away from porn or anything porn like now. I did and it reshaped many perspectives. It’s an addicting activity like drugs that will rob your CNS of dopamine and mess up your mesolimbic dopamine pathway - it will make you like a coke user after prolonged use.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Refractory period. I believe is can be brought on by some nutrient deficiency’s.

[–]blattebasket[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, nutrient deficiencies causes all sorts of problems. I'm currently working on that and have been for a few years.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah gut health is a big one. SIBO and leaky gut. SIBO can eat some the nutrients are body needs such as b12 and selenium. So if you’re having thyroid problem later SIBO is where you should look.

[–]blattebasket[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Damn, didn't think anyone in this sub knew any of those terms =) I'm well aware of what needs to be done here. Takes a fuck load of time tho, but keeps on getting better. Thanks

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Haha probably just me. Went through my own health journey. Usual story. Was on antibiotics for a while then my gut went to shit. Anyway, I think fecal transplants are the future of medicine.

[–]blattebasket[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Haha, I'm in the same boat as you are/were. But I'm on the mend and doing so much better. Me too thought that would be the future, until I joined a few FB groups and read personal stories. Seems like 50/50 lol. Fk that

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m in everyone of those groups lol. I hope you get better though man. What all have you tried and what has seemed to help you the most

[–]blattebasket[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Atm I'm working with a Holistic doctor/naturopath which has helped me a ton (in only 3 months). Much comes from nutrient deficiencies as you said. But it helps working with a professional who has another point of view of things.

I've tried to do it on my own, but it's hard and you don't know if you're going in the right direction or not. It costs a bit, but hoping it will be worth it.

Currently consuming herbs/supplements for my liver+kidneys. I'd never think of supporting those organs in a million years, only my gut. But all organs work together, so I will give her a chance :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s good you have someone working with you. I did work with someone as well a few years back. My biggest issue now is food intolerances.

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just take a few weeks off of it and see if it changes.

[–]DanishApollon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You feel shame. Check out the book No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover.

[–]A_solo_tripper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like I'm on point and on top of my game when I havent beaten it in a few days/weeks.

Do you get laid or no when you are "on top of your game"? Do you get numbers "on top of your game"? Make-outs "on top of your game"? Do you prefer being "on top of your game" or do you prefer feeling withdrawn and not at all happy & energetic? The decision is yours to make.

[–]goblinboglin5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

either you are reading that nofap bullshit and it's acting its placebo effect out

or it's the natural prolactin raise after release, it's normal man, just wank off before you go to bed

[–]blattebasket[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Never visited nofap. Should I? Lol

The 'down' can last for days

[–]fds_14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can read about the principle behind it but OP I personally think your biggest problem is porn. Check out YourBrainOnPorn website, it quotes a lot of research and makes a good point on why you should avoid it. But abstaining from ejaculation will also improve your life. People can call it placebo or bro science or whatever the fuck they want but abstaining from masturbation makes me feel better so I try to do it.

[–]goblinboglin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

​

Never visited nofap. Should I? Lol

The 'down' can last for days

​

Good for you pal, don't even try to. There are plenty of great answers here already :))

​

[–]mseand1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude jerking off theoretically can be considered a sedative

Edit: i don’t feel less confident, but sometimes I do knock right out

[–]goblinboglin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Jerk off after your day is done, before bed and you are all set.

I don't get dudes that jerk off before going to work/school or during the day, like wtf.

[–]mseand0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol I jerk off before I game because deep down I feel like it’ll make me last longer in bed

[–]Aesthetik_10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It used to be exactly like this for me but lately it has been completely opposite. I also feel better in general that may have something to do wit it.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Did you take porn out of the equation? I’d say get rid of porn, and don’t do it more than once a week (only for maintenance and prostate health) and only if you’re going through a dry spell.

[–]masterduelistky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel exactly the same. It’s probably because I watched way too much porn when I was young, it’s so easy to mess up your sexual drive. I can’t think about normal girls I see everyday and do it, it’s always these unrealistic models, which makes you not even try anymore....I honestly think that doing it is fine every once in a while, but when it becomes mandatory to watch porn to get off I think that’s when it becomes a problem.

[–]_Benny_Lava0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You must feel as if you are doing something wrong.

[–]coldser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dont fap unless you are horny that is the key for me

[–]PatnarDannesman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's sexual urges that drive you. Release those urges and you're satisfied.

[–]MakeMenGreatAgain440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pray for me to keep my hands off my dick. I always find excuses to do it.

[–]rajesh81620 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dehydration

[–]TheHandsomeMF0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Loss of androgen receptors in the brain.

[–]someonesopinion6969-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOl why you think?

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