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Struggling to get laid (self.asktrp)

submitted by MG4L

I've read through a fair amount of stuff here. Read a few books and been lurking for around a year. I typically check here daily and read all the daily top posts. I'm 19, 5"11, in Canada, pretty decent socially, yet I struggle to get laid. Or get girlfriends, hell even have girls as friends. I'm really unsure as to what I'm doing wrong.

With the 30 or so matches on Tinder I've got 2 dates, one pretty hot who ghosted after the first date, and a second who was wayy uglier than her who pics who I ghosted after first date. Can anyone give me some generic advice to improve my situaiton, or just be better with girls in general?


[–]Radinax116 points117 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Girls are more attracted to your behaviour towards them than anything else, imagine if you were inside the body of Tom Cruise with all his money, looks and face, would you be afraid of talking to a generic cute girl with cute ass when there are many of them killing to have you but play hard to get because they don't want to seem desperate?

Lifting, focusing on yourself, being rich, its all means to get your confidence up and that's what really ends up attracting women, you don't have to do much besides just talking normally setup all the logistics and invite them to a nice time.

Its why guys without money and/or ugly asf but confident as hell ends up in bed with girls with beta providers, the later is afraid of losing the girl so they do anything for them, they end up being repulsive because they want that masculine energy in their life.

The first guy starts teasing them giving them that look, start being a bit flirty, pushing and pulling her into a nice zone where only the of them exists, he then invite her for a walk in a park which ends up with her in his bed.

That guy isn't forcing anything, he's just a man.

That's all what TRP is all about. If you're not confident then lift, fix your style, clean haircut, whatever you feel wrong with you fix it, if that's not enough then go to therapy or something.

You feel you're not enough right now, but believe me you alredy are more than enough, you need to start being more confident in yourself, just act until you make it yours if needed, that doesn't mean being a douche, but acting like you own the world and its your to do whatever you want to do.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Any tips on getting more confidence? I have natural lack of self confidence despite being very wealthy, in great shape and have a decent SMV. Books? Meditations? What should I work on for confidence?

[–]fnxmobile 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Confidence is a by-product. You achieve various (competitive) goals over time

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

it's this ^

confidence comes as a by product of actions taken

setting achievable goals: ex: walk to the end of the block in less than 5 mins. Done. Dopamine released.

Steady natural dopamine releases met by achieving challenging yet reachable goals will provide the dopamine.

Lifting provides the endorphins and testosterone to keep a more satisfactory and confident baseline.

Again, lifting itself and the results thereof produce results that lead to an increase in confidence, aka improved physique, shape, strength etc

Alcohol and cocaine can provide quick dopamine fixes but they are artificial, easily tolerated / adapted to and require more to get the fix with obviously negative results and byproducts.

Seek natural sources of feel good hormones and chemicals (aka running, lifting, achievable progress) and you fill find that confidence and everything else.

[–]Radinax3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

being very wealthy, in great shape and have a decent SMV.

Seek therapy?

About getting confidence its not something you think about, you have everything every men would kill to have literally and you have all that.

When you think you're not enough your brain seek evidence to make you assure of that statement, but if you think that you're the best man she could ever dream of your same brain will search evidence supporting that statement.

Compare yourself to any guy she could be dating, do they have a chance against you? Hell no!

What I think is wrong is that you're not enjoying life, when you do you get to meet people, friends, that enjoy the same things as you and having fun in the eyes of other women makes you even more valuable. Its all about being chill and natural, don't overthink everything.

My advice is to have fun in your life, do everything you wanted to, imagine that you'll die next month, what would you want to do before then? You will meet women without even trying which is the key for you because you alredy have what 90% of men want and are fighting for every day.

[–]donkeydodo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go out in your city, and have as a goal to get 100 Phone numbers from Random girls.

[–]mickey__2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Girls are more attracted to your behaviour towards them

I’m struggling a lot with it, what can i do, how to learn it?

[–]Radinax2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just chill and have a fun life, get friends, make different crazy and original plans, you will meet a lot of women in your journey and if one didn't like you its her loss. This is much better than boringly cold approach like a crazy dude, you will be in your enviroment instead which in turn will make you more confident.

Don't have friends? Use Meetup or go to places you enjoy, if its a place where they play Dungeon and Dragons then so be it if thats your thing.

Don't focus on women, focus on creating the life of your dreams and you wlll meet the women you want this way without even trying.

[–]Scorchyy2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Confidence only matters if you reached her benchmark lookwise, if you’re a 4 to her and her benchmark is at 7, no amounts of confidence will get you that girl. Simple as that.

[–]Radinax3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can always try, if she says no who cares? You're a man, you found her attractive and wanted to have a good time with her, she didn't feel the same way and probably never will because she didn't like your face, have a good laugh and you move on until you meet someone you find attractive that wants to be with you.

As men we need to stop thinking about what they could want because in reality we don't know, deep inside AWALT but they still are very different on the surface and on what they need, here we're all on a path to become better persons which most men don't do so we're alredy valuable.

[–]Gooraba0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

if you even go outside you know this isn't true..... i see cute af chicks with goofyass/fat guys all the time

[–]kerel11-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well not everybody can be 0.00001% like Tom Cruise

[–]3chazthundergut48 points49 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Reading TRP every day will not get you laid.

Going out and approaching a dozen women every day will get you laid.

[–]Designs_MK9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is the best advice TRP can get you. We’ve all been in the same boat. We need to learn the best moves, we need to know every little thing that we can use. But we don’t apply them.

You need to go out and apply what you’ve learnt. You need to start small. In my case I just started asking hot girls what time it is and that’s it.

This happened for months and months and months for me.

Until one day, I’ll never forget this.

It was the day the world was suppose to end (December 16th 2012 I think?) I went to the mall and I saw this really pretty girl, and it was literally the last walk around cause I wussed out all the other walk around. And I thought to myself, if I die today then what have I done in my life and I bit the bullet.

Didn’t get her number, but it opened up so many chances every time I walked around that mall.

[–]TheAmendingMonk0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

There are many red pill concepts. I sometimes feel overwhelmed in a situation and think a lot . It so happened that i lost my opputunities to get laid . I personally feel ,and unfortunately have a mind set that it is impossible because the women can choose much more easily.
Other redpill concepts on growth and development, I am able to follow.
Whats your advice on this ?

[–]Designs_MK1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What’s impossible? Don’t think about her choices, she either likes you upfront or she doesn’t.

Your job is simple, get further into the conversation to open up a date.

By overwhelmed in conversation do you mean analysis paralysis? If so that’s an easy problem to solve, instead of going into an approach thinking about the outcome and what your gonna say. Think about getting to a specific point into a conversation or rather aiming for it.

In my previous post I said I use to ask the time, until I bit the bullet. My mind went crazy. My mind went blank.

I got over that by focusing on getting one thing across at a time, for instance you can make it your goal to casually ask for her number or to tell her what you did today. And you can leave or try to bomb the conversation. Doesn’t matter. If you continue to do this your mind won’t run from you during the conversation, and “normal” conversation comes normally. - You don’t need to think, and your mind doesn’t go crazy when you speak to your brother, or father or mom or sister. Treat the interaction the same, and slowly bring in red pill theories.

I hope this helps in some way with regards to your question. You can pm me if you need to know anything else from my POV.

[–]TheAmendingMonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, a lot ! i think the problem with me is that when i have an intention , I have a fear in what the others think. But that is not the case when i am job , doing sports . I need to transfer this skill in the dating game . I hope to .

[–]Scorchyy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That sounds kinda desperate to approach that much tbh

[–]cjy201820 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

2 dates out of 30 matches on tinder is not bad at all. Keep in mind Tinder is not conducive to serious dating/meeting up. Most of the girls on there are seeking attention and only meet up with a guy occasionally.

Compare it to walking up to 30 strangers and saying whatever you used as your opening line to start talking to them. Now imagine you said that same line but with 0 emotion/expression. How many girls would actually talk to you let alone sleep with you?

Point = Don't take Tinder personal.

What part of Canada are you in? the GTA? Toronto? if so this is part of the problem.... the GTA is not great for dating/hooking up in your teens and early 20s. The women expect much higher SMV. At 19 play the field at your post-secondary institution. If you're not in one get your smart serve and spend a summer working at a restaurant. Pick a bar/pub you'll gain a heap of social skills and be exposed to a tonne of hostesses and waitresses.

If that is not your scene be a camp councilor for a summer. Once again you'll pick up social skills and get exposure to many girls your age. You'll gain confidence from being a leader and have lots of opportunity to practice one-on-one connection.

[–]AlfredKinsey11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you been escalating. I'm a cynical manlet and I started getting laid more (dated plenty) just making moves more often. Basically, don't be a pussy, kino hard, and go for the f-close first meet.

[–]Themane227 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Always go for f close first meet. She’ll respect that u got balls to get a nut

[–]fds_110 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

R E A D. T H E. R A T I O N A L. M A L E. Also, get off Tinder. It's a rejection buffer.

[–]bigkids0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

For all we know, it might be a 56 year old man on the other end.

[–]fds_11 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how's that relevant? Using Tinder as a 56 year old is "way* worse

[–]bigkids0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I mean you could be speaking to a man for all we know

[–]fds_11 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I seriously don't get your point? OP isn't a girl and never said he was?

[–]icecoldwhoknows 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

He is saying it’s always possible that you are getting catfish’d.

[–]fds_12 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh on Tinder... Yeah but from my experience with that awful app it's not that common. Had 3 dates of Tinder and all girls were pretty much what I imagined. They were all introverted so I had to talk most of the time but that's not something any of you should give a fuck about. OP, get of Tinder and start working on yourself and your game, also, start approaching girls, can't forget that.

[–]cornylamygilbert1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Preach more about tinder

IME it's a passive validator and I and everyone else are super picky.

The opportunity in person vs that app takes away all its and the rest of online datings credibility imo

babes are way more approachable and real irl.

On tinder, it's either junk or IG models / photographic 7s

Hate on me all you want, but imo if you're not a pretty man or have a bountiful social life a la IG on tinder, you don't exist

imo tinder is like going to the shooting range without your contacts in.

IRL it's stupidly easier. Don't get me wrong, I'm no pussy slayer, but time, attention, and opps you get irl nullify online dating imo

[–]ramfex215 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Develop a high level of self-confidence! Trumps money any day. Focus of the presence that you as a man are bringing to ever single interaction. Are you smiling, head held high, eyes wide open. I’ve been focusing on improving the presence of my eyes lately and it makes me feel really confident. You don’t need to stare at people creepily, but just try and have a penetrative gaze. Attempt to make conversation everywhere you go. It doesn’t matter if it’s with an old grandma or a hot girl. Get on the habit of talking and making your presence known. The books you read, you actually have to apply to see results. Unfortunately we cannot download the correct actions into our brain, we need to practice and improve them. You can know all the TRP and PUA knowledge, but if you don’t act on that knowledge, nothing is ever going to happen. - it’s taken me a while to learn this.

[–]AlfredKinsey4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, go meet women in the real world. Tinder is fucking stupid.

[–]Kenny_Twenty4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't be in a hurry to judge your ability to get sex out of women yet. You're too young to be hard on yourself about that. You have plenty of potential to become completely different. It may not feel that way but you can change quickly and drastically at your age. Consider this:you aren't even finished growing.

Steady as she goes, lad.

[–]red_matrix4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read the The Book of Pook, all your answers are there.

[–]UpperRedSide8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm gonna come from an angle that most people on TRP and affiliated subreddits look disparagingly on. As much as people love to hate what I'm about to say, truth is truth regardless of how one feels about it.

Look better. There. I fucking said it. Girls are attracted to attractive men, and will go to startling lengths to facilitate sleeping with them. I swear to god, and I can't make this shit up, as a model tier man, I have had girls throw themselves at me in ways that would legitimately alarm you. I've had female strangers (who were neither ugly nor lacking in options) contact me online after seeing pictures of me asking me to date them, exchange nudes, or straight up meet them for sex. As long as you aren't viciously emotionally abusive or don't have an IQ of literally 0, it matters little what you say.

Being physically attractive as a man can be reduced to a science. Simpler still, a formula.

Jawline, eyebrows, chin, eyes, nose, body, hair.

Jawline: you can get permanently for about $1k.

Chin: this will probably be included with the jawline implant and you're already 75 percent model tier.

Eyebrows: should be dark, neat, and not far above the eyes, can be grown in using castor oil if weak, or simply trimmed if already thick.

Eyes: the color doesn't really matter, but it's mainly the eyelids, which should be narrowed to form a sort of eagle eye smolder.

Nose: also doesn't matter that much, but narrowness from the front, and forwardness with a degree of upturning from the side is ideal. Rhinoplasties cost next to nothing for the value.

Body: should be lean and muscular, but mostly lean and doesn't have to be that big. Can be achieved by lifting, eating well, lots of water, and intense weekly cardio.

Hair: if balding, and all the above are checked, go bald. You'll still look awesome. Or get rogain. Either way, go for a modern, clean looking style.

This should all run you at about 5k. For the price of a low tier car, you are now a male model to end all male models. Have fun.

Here's the thing. Having good game is excellent for getting a girl and keeping her. But let's be real here, OP is trying to get laid. If you're hot, it's incredibly easy. You wanna know what girls on Tinder are on Tinder for? You may think it's for attention, because they rarely hit you back, but that's not it. They are on Tinder to fuck their Christian Grey/Prince Charming/Edward Cullen They are looking for the hottest guys on the app, which are rare, and when they find them, they do the absolute most to get those guys in bed. How do I know this? Because I've been that guy in a Tinder girl's story many a time.

I'm not saying that looks are literally EVERYTHING, full stop. No I'm saying that game has it's place, but in the context of casual sex, looks are the most important. I'm not blackpilled or incel. Just saying that if you want women to have sex with you, just sex, looking good is the best way to go. If you're hot enough, women will reduce you to a literally piece of meat, yep, just like guys do them.

[–]Scorchyy2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You’re totally right but you know what, you’ll always get downvoted, you know why? People don’t want to admit looks are everything because it’s very hard to fix or modify (a surgery is risked and looked badly upon by most ppl) so people prefer to swallow a blue pill that makes them believe confidence and game is important, they can still get you laid regularly but nowhere near what being pretty can achieve. This idea that looks are everything is mostly shared by blackpill or incels so it’s not very popular here. (Check LMS on Youtube for more info about this)

[–]UpperRedSide1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not saying that looks are literally EVERYTHING, full stop. No I'm saying that game has it's place, but in the context of casual sex, looks are the most important. I'm not blackpilled or incel, and I think LMS is sucky. Just saying that if you want women to have sex with you, just sex, looking good is the best way to go.

[–]Scorchyy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well yea, everyone can agree with that, same apply for guys, we prefer pretty girls for casual sex, we don't ask for a good personality or such

[–]geo_gan1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women’s primary goal is to get injected with the absolute best quality genetic material she can possibly get and have it successfully fertilise her egg. At the back of it all this is their primary instinct. Things like Tinder just make this easier for them to do.

[–]bigkids0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That reptilian brain is a hell of a drug

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I gotta add

passively reading doesn't equate to absorbing and mindfully applying

also, zero mention of lifting or working out in this post

I also didn't hear about any other goals this guy had beyond women.

too women focused. women know it, and he stinks of it

[–]As-You-Were1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I watched one of Roosh V’s videos recently about Canada. Apparently you guys have a hard time of it with the amount of leftists and feminism plaguing the place.

Still, be attractive (lift), work on your game, be busy (work, studying, etc) = unbeatable formula.

Nothing dries up a women quicker than a desperate and available guy.

[–]Lambdal71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to up the volume a lot.

Approach 300 hot girls over the next 3 months, get 80 numbers, 20 dates and 6 times sex and 3 that are compatible long term.

These are th enumbers you need to work. Everything below that will not give you interesting girlfriends and you always need to compromise on a lot.

[–]slaterhuckle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Approach 3-5 new women every day. Do this in person not online. Have a good appearance. If after you get 10 phone numbers and none of them end up wanting to hang out than work on your appearance.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You approach 10 women, you will only be able to grab the number of 5, 3 will reply back, 2 will agree with to go on a date with you, one will flake/cancel, and you’ll be left with one. That’s how it usually goes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nobody wrote that yet, but also look at SMV graph. Otherwise, just trying and learning at this young age you are doing great.

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

man

you need way more going on first off

projects, multiple goals, hobbies, side hustles

you need social opportunities that are focused on getting you more money / a better career / anything tangible and you'll run into women

you are way too focused on women and that's the issue. Everyone can smell it on ya.

a giant red flag in your post is caring so much about tinder matches. Tinder is like the parsley to your main dish of meeting women irl through social events, fitness, etc

You're only 19.

Great that you're starting early. Have some fun too. Caring too much about how many women you're meeting has the opposite effect.

Find something fun and pursue it now

[–]Kurush5590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You dont lift (enough)

[–]masterbaterchief-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, just whip it out.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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