A plate of mine recently texted me something along the lines of, 'I have a boyfriend, and we can't see each other anymore.' I'm quite chill about it so I reply, 'okay' and she replies with something along the lines of 'I'm so sorry bla bla bla'. Again, I say it's no problem. Abundance mentality.

A week goes by, and I get a text late at night from her saying she's sorry for acting like that, but no mention of meeting up again. In her text it was quite obvious she's still playing the 'We can't see each other anymore' card, but thanking me for all the fun times we had, and tells me I'm a 'great guy'. My reply: 'no worries see you round'. She then replies angry/upset (could be either) that I'd respond like that to her 'heartfelt' message. Haven't replied.

I'd like to continue seeing this plate as she's a good shag. And her new 'boyfriend' seems to be a LDR, and I doubt it will last. I even suspected that the boyfriend was made up as some sort of shit test, to get me to beg to keep seeing her. Maybe, maybe not.

Am I handling this correctly? Is it worth even replying to her being sad at my (quite reasonable) IDGAF reply? If so, what's the best thing to say? It's hard for me to discern whether she's genuinely angry and at risk of breaking this plate on bad terms, or if it's just another shit test to get a rise out of me.

​

Edit: as this problem is bugging me I decided to do some remedial side-bar reading. The answer hit me in the face when I saw it, and I'm kicking myself for not thinking this from the get go.

So let's turn this question into a lesson. The correct answer to this question is 'it doesn't matter.' It doesn't. There's literally nothing in this situation to even think about. She's a broken plate, and when a plate breaks you throw it in the bin. You don't try and glue it back together, you throw it in the bin and get a new plate to spin on your stick (he he he).

Thank you everyone who said my responses were good and that I held frame, but I think there's more to it. On the surface, yes, I held frame, but deep down I broke it big time. My frame here is IDGAF, but clearly I do, otherwise I wouldn't have made this post. It was a good coverup because the girl thinks I don't care, and for a while I thought so too. But being honest with myself I know my replies weren't driven by my solid frame, they were an attempt to fix the plate - thinking by keeping frame, she'll come round. I failed, call it oneitis maybe (although I'm not infatuated, just annoyed/disappointed), but deep down I was operating in her frame - I was being REactive and not PROactive. I should have a reason not to give a fuck, I should have been busy not worrying about plates. This whole situation has identified a flaw in my RP thinking - I'm trying to do it for the girls, and not me.

This is totally negative and I'm glad it didn't go further. As far as I'm concerned, the plate's broken. And after identifying this issue, I can safely say that NOW I literally don't give a fuck. Plate's gone, big whoop. Now to go lift some metal. Cheers TRP.

Edit 2: since realising the above, I messaged her saying that it was fun, yet I’m happy for her. Again, she said sorry and thanked me again (3rd time) for everything and that she hopes to see me around. I said I’m sure we’ll bump into each other and for her to drop me a line if she’s around.

I think this was a good outcome. Coupled with the fact that I shouldn’t care whether the plate breaks or not, I left it on good terms with an opening for her to contact me in the future. So either I never hear from her again (okay because it’s just a plate, I can get more) or she pops up in the future (also okay as she’s a good fuck). Whatever happens, the important point was remaining impartial.

A non-red-pilled guy would have either begged to keep seeing her, or got stroppy and left it on bad terms with no possibility for the future. By letting the plate drop on good terms, I avoided both of these.

Some people would say that my last messages were beta - validating her feelings, being too impartial, being too ‘available’. I would disagree; I think it’s important to maintain some ‘nice guy’ traits, like being friendly, for situations like this. There’s no telling what the girl’s intentions are, whether it was all made up or she really has a LTR - that’s why it’s best to just be nice, yet remain totally impartial to the outcome.

I hope this post can help people with the same problem in the future.