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The fact that I am still a virgin is bugging me a lot lately. I have read the top posts and books and consider myself very red pill aware. I lift, I am 185cm, 82 kg and low bodyfat. I study for a masters degree but my self esteem is still low due to my porn addiction and emotional abuse which accured in my childhood from my stepmother and stepbrother. I am already seeing a therapist for this. I have tried Tinder but my SMV is not high enough. I don't go out often anymore because my old circle of friends keep reminding me of my 'past self' where i didn't have any self esteem and where I was the typical nice guy who couldn't stand up for himself. Being with them makes me feel more lonely than spending time with myself. I have always been quite introverted but with the right people I can be very social. What should I do?

[–]Builtblind 118 points119 points  (27 children)

Fuck a hb3. They are all over tinder. Match with one and say I’m gunna come over and fuck you, you slut

Find new friends

[–]Thisismybot8 61 points62 points  (10 children)

Tinder is so fucking skewed that 3s might only swipe right on guys that are at least 5s.

[–]fds_1 28 points29 points  (3 children)

That's true. Have you guys seen how women and men rate eachother on okcupid? On a scale to 7, guys rated women by an average of 4/7 while 5/7 was the 2nd most given rating. On the other hand, women rated men mostly as 2/7 and 1/7 was the 2nd most given rating. Here's an another red pill, wanna know the % of guys that were rated 7/7? It's zero.

[–]AceMav21 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Women manipulate their image filters, make up, photoshop(sometimes), angles ect. That’s what causes the skew in Tinder lmao.

[–]fds_1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Holly shit, totally forgot about this

[–]SAKEHUNTER1991 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Facetune, check it out

[–]BydandMathias 8 points9 points  (3 children)

The HB rating is all relative tbh. My personal definition is that I won't fuck below what I perceive to be an hb5.

I rate myself as a 5 and I'd say that I match with quite a few HB3-5s with a few 6s and a 7 thrown in. My definition of an HB3 is a girl who's overweight/obese and/or has bad facial features. Anything below an HB3 is very hard to judge, but they're likely to be disfigured.

Hb4's are somewhere between 3 and 5s.

Hb5's are non-overweight girls who don't have unpleasant facial features/ have good facial features, but are a bit overweight.

HB6's are girls who are skinny and have decent facial features.

HB7's are attractive girls who are skinny and fit

[–]FrankCostanza111 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Here's my "HB" scale:

0-4 invisible

5 Not attractive. Could be fat, overweight, have a gross body and/or face but is at the least, bangable in a pinch.

6 Cute and bangable, but not attractive enough to introduce to friends or take to public places like my BJJ gym or work place

7 Objectively attractive, and definitely attractive enough to take to my hobby places and meet people in my life. This is the bare minimum attractiveness for a potential LTR.

8 Beautiful, turns heads when she walks in a room

9 Top tier, impeccable body and face.

10 No girl receives a "10" rating

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

6 Cute and bangable, but not attractive enough to introduce to friends or take to public places like my BJJ gym or work place

I rejected so many girls of this kind who were clearly DTF but I was too busy acting alpha and always felt like I deserved more. I regret that to be honest.

[–]Thunderfin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

good rating

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

So what. Most guys can get to that level in matter of few months with lifting and good clothes

[–]Thisismybot8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree. I just don't want OP to be shocked if he can't fuck a 3 tonight.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Fuck a hb3.

She ain't a hb if she's a 3, shits more like an ogre

[–]Pascolino 1 points1 points [recovered]

Hey hey a 3/10 is not an ogre come on now show some respect. She is an Ork. Ogres are 2/10, just before the Cthulu-land-whales lookalikes who are 1/10, of course.

[–]Designof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10/10 shitpost.

[–]lerossignol77 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST 35 points36 points  (11 children)

OP probably wants to lose his virginity to an HB9. I know an incel who's the same way, average looking guy who thinks he deserves a model. The truth is, getting laid is extremely easy if you lower your standards.

I'd cut down on the porn, because it's one of those things that creates an artificial standard in your mind... not just about how women look, but how they act as well.

[–]Atheist_Utopia 10 points11 points  (7 children)

OP probably wants to lose his virginity to an HB9.

Same struggles here.

The truth is, getting laid is extremely easy if you lower your standards.

But would this ever feel satisfactory, even for the first time? Wouldn't you feel fucking disgusting after banging an HB5?

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Honestly I'd feel more disgusted to find out the HB9 I just fucked was getting gang-banged the night before than having a nice evening with a clean HB5. Also, regardless of their market value, it still helps your abundance mentality. If I could go back to my 20's I would definitely bang all those 5-6's I passed on just because I thought I could do better.

[–]Pascolino 1 points1 points [recovered]

Haha a clean HB5! The HB9 actually may be cleaner than the HB5. HB5s get approached by many, many men who see her as in their league (online and offline) vs the HB9 who only fucks high value men and no losers approach her 'cause they know they have no chance. It's documented pretty good somewhere in the sidebar; make sure to read all of the sidebar.

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks but I'm aware of all that, which is why I specifically specified a "clean" HB5 rather than just an HB5. There are plenty of red flags you can be on the watch for that will give you an idea of how promiscuous a woman is, which really have nothing to do with her looks.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell nah. Ill take an hb8 slut over a 5 or 6 any day. I couldn't care less what she does out of my presence. I had three experiences with hb5s in my life, all regrets. Never again.

1) One in college, faked orgasm to leave

2) Tinder match that wasn't as attractive as her profile, but her ass was good to go. I stopped calling because I had a hard time getting it up the 2nd time I saw her because she wasn't attractive enough in the face and tits and said gross things

3) I needed her for a place to stay while drunk and said what the hell, she's right there beside might as well

The third one haunted me for awhile, along with kissing some others in the past. Lowered my self-esteem.

[–]mega_kook 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Don't let what you THINK you can get distract from what you KNOW you can get! You should be the one being chased, not the other way around.

[–]lerossignol77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once you have sex you realize an HB9 is an ego trip. Shit don’t matter. Have sex with lower expectations does not mean the girl will be ugly. Porn has fucked your mind already get off that cloud asap. If you haven’t been able to fuck a 9, what makes you think you can fuck a 6 with the ego of a 9?

[–]theycallmedumdum 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I read somewhere that you should watch amateur porn so you have more of an idea of how shit really is, so your expectations aren't too high.

[–]mega_kook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the end of the day it's still harmful cause you can watch it whenever you want and doesn't teach you how to actually get girls. I agree, it's more realistic, but still not as beneficial as just quitting porn so you can focus on getting actual pussy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Expectations and standards with virgins are why they are virgins. Some real kid level shit.

You fuck who's there and be thankful for the experience, capitalize and learn from the experience. Everything is a stepping stone. So take the step.

He probably wont even read my comment. Plenty of good shit already said, just sad to see when people give me excuses why they are doing 'everything right' and still not fucking.

No they aren't. They are stubborn and losing experiences because of it.

Hard to change, hard to accept this stubbornness as the problem but it always is. Technically it is only this stubborn problem stopping all of us from accomplishing everything.

Fucking egos.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits 105 points106 points  (8 children)

You have not maxxed out your SMV, dipshit. The fact that you could even say such a thing indicates that you do not have a clear understanding of what SMV is. You said in another comment that you've maxxed it out "for my current situation" but that is a rationalization; improving SMV means taking responsibility for your situation. This means that you have to change your situation.

Your post thoroughly reeks of failure to take responsibility for your inadequacies. You don't have to wait until you find a therapist to fight your porn addiction. You don't need to depend on the old circle of friends to go out and be social. You need to start getting out of your comfort zone. There aren't going to be easy fixes. TRP isn't literally a pill you can just swallow and reap rewards from. You have to actually start putting the principles into practice.

[–]mickey__ 38 points39 points  (0 children)

And OP, this is called tough love

[–]Startlivingfornow 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Somebody suck this guy off

[–]Thisismybot8 12 points13 points  (0 children)

In some parallel universe, people offer a round of BJs instead of drinks.

[–]izotonias 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This comment 100% OP. You need to get out your comfort zone, smash talking to new people and listen to The Beige Philips podcast.

That’s a golden podcast for men trying to get laid and become better versions of themselves.

[–]BowlOfCandy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tldr: your mindset is a key element of your SMV. Build confidence and it will channel into abundance.

[–]depurefymii23 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Do you know who else who hasn't maxed out their SMV, the Billionaire, TV Star, President of the United States, because he has been in 2 divorces.

Neither are these celebrities.

SMV is a losing game.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't understand what you're trying to say. If you're trying to say that high SMV does not equate to success with women, well obviously; you can be high SMV and still be bluepilled. But if you're redpilled and high SMV, you're effectively immune to being manipulated into making the poor decisions which characterize the examples you provided...after all, "Don't get married." is up there with such other tried-and-true redpills as "AWALT" and "She isn't yours, it is just your turn." But if you're saying that "SMV is a losing game" as in "cultivating SMV will not increase the probability of success with women" then you're either profoundly stupid or incredibly naive.

[–]depurefymii23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My point exactly, so there is no need to be pushing bluepill memes like SMV when OP needs to focus on MV on just the market they want to buy from.

But if you're redpilled and high SMV, you're effectively immune to being manipulated into making the poor decisions which characterize the examples you provided.

The highly redpiled guys get dolls and mechanical masturbators now because the #MeToo movement making regret rape a thing.

cultivating SMV will not increase the probability of success with women" then you're either profoundly stupid or incredibly naive.

If you can link me to an academic study that demonstrates what a maxed out SMV even is, I'll give you the point. Even if you able to find it, I will guarantee that the proposition is only theoretical and no body alive or dead has reached it, therefore it isn't a prerequisite to getting laid.

[–]Thisismybot8 47 points48 points  (15 children)

You could hire a hooker to stop putting sex on a pedestal. It'll loosen you up and you won't be a virgin anymore. That plays a big part in your mentality no question.

[–]BigNog_ 12 points13 points  (7 children)

that's my biggest problem. it's on such a mountainous pedestal that it literally controls my mind. I just need to do it and break that cycle.

[–]Thisismybot8 19 points20 points  (5 children)

I'm a good looking dude but I still hired one the summer after high school. No shame in it considering a large portion of women on the market are brazen sluts anyway.

[–]redditaccountiuse 11 points12 points  (0 children)

i got a few hookers in mexico as a young man, and i recommend it to every young unconfident man now. really gets the monkey off your back and lets you understand sex, how to do it etc. no pressure cause you're paying the person and will never see them again.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Don't you think that having sex with an hooker the first time impacts your subconscious into believing that hookers are your only way of getting laid? Nevertheless, the benefits should outweigh the cons no doubt.

[–]Thisismybot8 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Didn't happen with me.

[–]FrankVillain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Consider that a large part of male humanity were losing their virginity to prostitutes for centuries if not millenas. Not a big deal.

[–]chocolatebones 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this. once you realize life is supposed to be fun and this whole game thing is supposed to be fun, but there's that roadblock in the way that's preventing it, you just gotta do this for yourself. it really does make a difference once your on the other side.

[–]Rkingpin 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Tbh don't do this

OP sounds like he'd mentally hamster after that he had to pay for something his Chad friends got for free.

Tinder route would be better

[–]Thisismybot8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'd say do tinder route first for sure. After a month or two I'd start considering my options.

[–]depurefymii23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chad friends got for free.

Nope! Pay attention, they have to pay too. Some times hundreds of times over.

[–]NeezaPatricia 0 points1 point  (1 child)

but where to hire hooker if you live in the bay area?

[–]Thisismybot8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back page used to be my go to. Eros is pricier

[–]Corporation_Pull-in -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

illegal in the US

[–]throwitdownman 9 points10 points  (6 children)

If you’re on this sub, its not a matter of ‘if’, but a matter of ‘when’ you get laid. When it happens, you’ll realise it’s pretty damn similar to masturbating off of porn. So relax, and enjoy the process.

I’d recommend you to find a casual LTR as it makes the ‘first time’ at least somewhat memorable. Casual meaning you don’t have to screen for all the red flags - just someone you like and want to have sex with. Then break up and spin plates.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

This sounds like the best solution. However where would I meet someone? Tinder hasn't worked for me and after reading RP stuff I can't relate to my social circle anymore because they haven't experienced such experiences as I have. They also don't care about self improvement stuff which is what I care about the most atm.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ditch the shitty friends. Once you're in your 20's it is time to let go of people who aren't improving themselves. With very rare exceptions, people who don't seek to improve themselves are liable to bring you down with them either by deliberate effort or through osmosis. Human relationships are homophilic. This doesn't mean that friends need specific common interests with you, If you're an engineer and they are artists that is fine (and diversity comes with its own set of rewards); but if you want to be the best version of yourself you need to be surrounded by people who inspire you, not people who'll appease your basic impulses.

"Where would I meet someone?" Step 1: Make a list of places where women go and where one may be reasonably expected to have a conversation with them. Step 2: Go to those places. Cold approach.

[–]yolkedmonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not seeing the real answer in any of these comments. GO TO A FUCKING CLUB. Clubs are the place with the highest density of girls who also want to get laid. I got half of my lays from clubs. Go there 2x a week. At first you'll suck (I know I did) then you'll get better at it. In a couple of months you'll fuck a chick. Delete Tinder. That shit's gonna make you feel like a loser.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I like the optimism, there are plenty of people who are redpilled in theory but not in practice. The fact that you are receptive to the ideas does not automatically mean you're capable of implementing them successfully. That being said TRP is essentially just embracing what it is to be a man. So the vast majority of men should be able adopt the lifestyle, provided they aren't too far gone...some men are so prideful that they would rather choose irreparable failure and continuous disappointment than abandon gynocentric dogma.

[–]MemphisBro 37 points38 points  (20 children)

Are you a millionaire? Are you 200 pounds with 5% body fat? Do you live in a mansion and travel by helicopter? If no to any of these then your SMV is not maxed out. Spend some time to work on yourself. Women will come after

[–]StopGaming1234 5 points6 points  (4 children)

He maxed out HIS SMV. What you are talking about is possible for less than 1% of the population.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Anything is possible if you are willing to work and struggle for it. This <1% do not have superpowers, they are just like any other human being. The differences are in their mindsets.

[–]StopGaming1234 7 points8 points  (2 children)

They don't have superpowers, but most of them already started infront of the finish line while you were stuck at the beginning. That's life.

Many millionaires are either born into it or had family/networks/etc that made it infinitely easier to get where they are now. How many people live in a mansion and travel by helicopter? 0.000001%?

200 pounds with 5% body fat - Good luck archieving that without steroids. Also not everyone will be born tall enough to reach 200 pounds.

The mindset doesn't matter when you are born in a 3rd world country, 5ft tall with no education.

It's good to think like you do, but we can not have unattainable standards. Not anything is possible, no matter how hard you want it and work for it.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your points are right. But remember that lot of rich entrepreneurs today were in poor families when they were kids. You can’t get 200lbs at 5% naturally, you are right. Whoever has those stats is in the 0.1% not 1%. Line up 100 random men and trust me you’ll realise how only 1-4 of them lift (naturally).

[–]MemphisBro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t saying these are requirements to attract women. I was making an exaggeration to play on OPs comment that his SMV is maxed out which is retarded. No one is maxed out AKA no one has every trait perfect which I described.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (13 children)

I meant maxxed out SMV for my current situation. I will still focus on improving myself but if I have to wait if I am a millionaire than I will have to wait a long time. And 200 pounds at 5% bf is impossible without steroids at 185cm/6ft1

[–]GetMeLaidAlot 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It's really not. I had a college professor who is 6 foot 2 who, in his youth, was 220 lbs with 4.5% body fat. Granted, he was a professional athlete so he had access to state-of-the-art training facilities. I just want to let you know that it is possible, but only if you want it.

[–]Rayman94x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

4.5%, that’s basically death.

[–]officerkondo 3 points4 points  (10 children)

Guess what? I take steroids. It’s an important and personal decision that requires serious thought and research but steroids aren’t deadly poison.

And bullshit, 200 lbs at low body fat (10-12%) is quite attainable for a natural lifter who is 6’1”.

[–]DumbledoresFerrari 2 points3 points  (9 children)

10-12% is not 5%

[–]officerkondo 1 point2 points  (8 children)

Yeah, and 5% is what they are on stage at Olympia for a few hours. Pull your head out of your ass.

[–]DumbledoresFerrari 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Hence why the guy you replied to said it was impossible...

[–]officerkondo 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Yeah, and 5% was a fucking stupid number in the first place, which was why I brought him back to reality. Congratulations on the autism.

[–]DumbledoresFerrari 2 points3 points  (5 children)

the first guy: 200 pounds at 5% bf is impossible

you: bullshit, 200 lbs at low body fat (10-12%) is quite attainable

me: okay but that's irrelevant because no one said otherwise

do you understand now you utter moron

you said "bullshit" and then responded to a totally different claim lmao

[–]officerkondo 0 points1 point  (4 children)

This is easy, you oxygen thief. OP moaned about an impossible standard (no one walks around at 5%). My advice to him ignored his idiocy and replaced it with sound advice.

Do you understand or do I need to get some crayons?

[–]DumbledoresFerrari 0 points1 point  (3 children)

All OP said was 5% is impossible. You replied with something irrelevant. That's all there is to it lol

Everyone knows 10-12% is possible. Why on earth were you telling us

[–]SidewaysCircle 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Stop jerking off

[–]BigNog_ 11 points12 points  (4 children)

You sound really similar to me. I made a similar post just like this about a week ago on this sub. I'm a 25 year old virgin. I have lifted weights for over 2 years now. I got my Masters back in June. It bothers me that I'm still a virgin too. I'm super shy/introverted so its hard for me to try new things. I think we just gotta find a land whale on tinder and fuck her like some others have mentioned. We have to work on ourselves as well. Also, you should definitely quit watching porn. that shit is poison and evil to men. I quit over 5 months ago.

[–]iwviw 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Go to raves, be more blunt with women, get more friends, stop jerking off so much, move to a big city, travel to third world countries, boost your testosterone naturally google how to, put out the intention, people usually like people who are like minded so holla at other social anxiety type nerd chicks, people bang when they’re drunk so go to parties if you want to, obviously you have to make major changes. Your current lifestyle is why you’re a virgin. Change your lifestyle. Try CMB app and hinge and bumble and okcupid . Try them all. For gods sakes be a beta bux atleast to get your first lay. Take a girl on dates buy her food and drinks be blunt and upfront that you are attracted to her. You literally have nothing to lose at this point. Travel. Go to Mexico or Colombia and bang some chicks

[–]zaaad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This guy raves. 👆👆

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem you share with OP is that you need Game. You fell victims of the crowd that sells you self-improvement as a way to avoid having to talk to girls. So you religiously “self-improve” “for myself and not for girls”, totally expecting that blow jobs will just fall on your lap once you have a six pack. And after months of lifting you realise that your “maxed-out” SMV means nothing if you’re not social.

You and OP simply need to kick your butt into social action: join a group of guys going to clubs, or a climbing gym, or do dance classes, anywhere where you get to interact with girls, and hen talk to them until you’re good at talking to girls.

[–]temerity18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Google how to get rid of social anxiety. There's your major problem. Get rid of that and you will be interacting with babes who want you to fuck them.

[–]suprathepeg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna tell you the number one thing that got me out of my shell.

Take Latin dance classes. Spend at least 4 hours a week in class and some time on your own practicing. Do it for at least a year.

This won’t get you laid per se but it will get out of your shell. It will get you close to women, touching them and it will get you comfortable with your body. I recommend salsa, bachata and kizumba. You could try more traditional forms of couples dance as well.

Here’s the thing, your first few classes will be embarrassing and you’ll be in way over your head. Stick it out.

[–]Haki_User 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Find a hooker. Seriously, most of the advice here is bullshit. These people simply don't know what it's like to be at your age and be a virgin. All there is in your mind is "I've never touched a real pussy" I'm a failure. Basically telling you to tough up and increase your SMV to get laid is like telling a plumber to develop confidence so he can install electricity circuits for a home. Have a few drinks, I recommend strong like Whiskey or Vodka. Go to a club and make a fool of yourself. Then find a hooker. Negociate with her as if she were a commodity because she is. Try to get her for the lowest price possible for the simple reason that this will increase her attraction for you. (yeah hookers get attracted to LOL). Then fuck her, and fuck her good. Now that you've known what pussy is like. Realise it doesn't bite or have fangs and that females melt in it and enjoy it a lot. Your SMV will really fucking increase. And not by reading posts on trp and trying to be like them, know where to start. That's like wanting to start your first business and trying to imitate Jeff Bezos. Sounds great, doesn't work. Also post a field report.

[–]mickey__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He’ll never get good if he doesn’t try, you won’t get better at approaching if you avoid it at first place

[–]DiosJ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Listen to him, he can use haki.

[–]amwfhunter 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Your smv isnt maxed out. While your physical traits are good, your game and confidence suck. Stop blaming your situation on your stepmom etc.

I'm shorter than you and slayed more when I was 24 and a student because I never believed in any of that crap. Then again may be times are different now.

I think in this case you need to work on your experience. Fuck a few lesser lower status chicks for experience. Just make sure u dont fall into oneitis, knock her up, or get stds.

Masters in what? Realize education means shit if it doesnt translate to real jobs and money. I have a doctor degree but it gave me a high paying career to which I transformed into a business and used capital to invest into passive income.

I apologize for being so harsh. But u need to start somewhere. Once u get that monkey off your back about getting laid u can focus on becoming an even better version of yourself. Good job on the fitness though. Improving your health is one way of being better.

[–]ChinoWreckingMachino 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I lost my virginity at your age. But I was always desirable to bitches so I guess it’s different for me , confidence is key , just make sure you got your own place where you can take her back , otherwise just get out there and start talking to women, some will reciprocate, there’s plenty of insecure bitches out there waiting for a guy like you to finally talk to them and make their miserable mundane life a little bit more interesting , be that guy .

Takes a while to get the hang of being cheeky with girls but they all know deep down inside what we all want .

Get out there you fucking loser and stop being such a bitch

[–]Daadirey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bang a hooker or the anything else that looks like a female.Right now,don't waste time.

[–]RompeChocha 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stop watching porn.

[–]EnlightenAllMankind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you just grew out of your friends brother. It’s the same way with me. I’m 23 about to be 24 and I think it is just this phase of life my friend. You seem like a great guy. Losing your virginity is overrated. Sex is great but in time you’ll see more clearly that it is not that big of deal. Confidence, and loving yourself, trusting God. These things are truly important. The girls will come. Just create a world that they would like to be in. Make your life so full and awesome you don’t care whether they come or go. It’s easier said than done but I’m offering this word of encouragement because I found myself in a similar position once or twice. Body language, speech, developing your mind and soul. Hope this helps man. You gotta stop with the porn. Only you can decide to have enough respect for yourself to not do it.

[–]Smubii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lmao no 24 year old has a maxed out SMV.

[–]swimminginblue 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Read No More Mr Nice Guy .. you’re outward improvement is not congruent with your inner self. This a problem many people face.

[–]bidric 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If it's that big of a deal to your state of mind why not just hire a hooker and be done with it?

[–]stumje 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its sounds like you need to face your demons ( one of them being porn addiction) and do the internal work to allow yourself shift. Hell I I'm still a virgin and I'm not even bothered by it anymore i realize one of the problems was the needy behavior to get laid and really messed up you having a good time. When you do internal work ( chakras, beliefs, bad habits) I strongly believe how the opposite will view you and it is coming from a place of true power. It changes your energy and most communicate is non verbal, allowing to build sexual tension. Also I find that I am attracted to a womans energy than the looks

[–]Flpgneves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pay a hooker and fuck her.

You'll see that there is nothing special about "losing your virginity".

[–]SAKEHUNTER1991 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]3chazthundergut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stop watching porn

Lower your standards a bit just to get the first couple nuts off

[–]fastnail 0 points1 point  (0 children)


I would recommend you Google - illimitable man monk mode.

Fantastic resources for men.

[–]Eulerbrah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what does porn have to do with your self esteem? self esteem = positive emotions - negative emotions. Increase your positive emotions and/or decrease your negative emotions. How can you have more positive emotions, LordFrodo? go from there..

[–]Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your SMV is not maxxed. Your SMV is never maxxed.

You aren't a celebrity, for example. Your physique can always be better. Being in school for a master's degree is not really a DHV (grad school is not cool/attractive to most girls) and you have self esteem issues. It's good you can admit it and work on it...

Anyway you've basically answered your own question: you need new friends. Keep hitting the gym. Approach.

What's your master's in? Is it an actual marketable skill?

[–]NeezaPatricia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but where to hire hooker if you live in the bay area

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sure as fuck did not max out your SMV

[–]Sr_Afro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of cool advice here. Lot's of geniuses saying that you should stop watching porn, so original...

Lots of guys went really hard on you, lots went really soft. You should listen both. Seriously, don't get all offended and listen to only one side...

Listen to that hooker guy too.

And my 2 cents are:

  • You should join a combat sports gym, pick the one that you identify yourself the most, and the most viable. It's kinda a different social environment, it might be easier for you to make new friends and to increase confidence. And don't underestimate the power of martial arts, it can really dig some shit you've buried under all those years.

  • Second thing, meditate. Just download any app, and stick to it for at least a month. If you don't notice any difference you're not meditating hard enough ~Dalai Lama screeches~. But remember, the goal of this is to have more clarity of mind, will make you see where you hindrances really are and have a better general self-control.

Not gonna lie, I still far away from my max SMV but this 2 things helped me the most. If you want, feel free to pm me, I don't have anything to sell, just saying...

[–]Coffeebob2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have low self esteem fix that and you good bro.

[–]mysteryspoN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find new friends

[–]Anon241469 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watch the Direct Dating seminar series. It will change your perspective on all of life. But to give my two cents: getting big muscles and dressing well and styling your hair has very little to do with getting laid. It helps, for sure, but doing those things will NOT get you laid. You could spend an eternity lifting weights in the gym, with proper nutrition and sleep, so that you become like Arnold, and doing that will NOT get you laid. So what does? Well, there isn’t just ONE thing that will get you laid (despite what the advertising community will have you believe). Rather, trying your damn hardest to get a girl in bed with you and willingly spreading her legs for you is the only thing that will get you laid. In short... you have to focus, hard, on one thing and one thing only: get your penis inside her. Say whatever you have to say to her, do whatever you have to do with/to her, go where you need to go, etc. Whatever it may take, have the willpower to do it. Focus on your mission, which is to cum in her pussy. There may be milestones before accomplishing your mission... getting her turned on, getting her mind to think about sex, getting her pussy wet just thinking about it, etc. But at the end of the day, it’s not your degree, or your car, or your muscles that will somehow magically get your penis into her vagina. The only thing that can get your penis inside her is YOU! Don’t waste any time! There are horny girls out their who want dick... show them why it’s YOUR dick that they’ve been longing for! And if she ever says “No!”, “Stop!”... then that just means that particular girl, that one in a billion, isn’t one that wants your dick. So move on to another. There’s billions out there!

[–]Melbourne91 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Porn and ejaculation = low self esteem and rejection, low self esteem and rejection = porn and ejaculation to feel better after rejection.

It’s the snake that bites its own tail. I feel better and can have success with most women once I get anywhere from 2 weeks or beyond from porn and masturbation. All you confidence comes back, your charisma and wittiness, your voice becomes deeper and you just give off better signals to women. Good luck.

[–]tgod1811 0 points1 point  (1 child)

NoFap does not make your fucking voice deeper

[–]Melbourne91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve experienced it first hand.

[–]a_nus 1 points1 points [recovered]

I have tried Tinder but my SMV is not high enough.

What do you mean by this? If you're 185cm, you've the height advantage. As long as you're not brutally ugly in the face, you can make Tinder work. Assuming you don't completely fuck up the messaging.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get matches occasionaly but when I ask them to do something they stop responding. Probably lack of game/social skills

[–]AscensionExperiments 1 points1 points [recovered]

If you've still got a porn addiction, you still got beta mind, so you have not maxed out your smv. A LOT of SMV boosts come from mentality. Keep goin'. (also if you really gotta just go pay for it)

[–]personadabes 1 points1 points [recovered]

no fap bullshit

[–]temerity18 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Go to Thailand. Fuck a different woman everyday for your 30 days visa-free stay. The women are usually quite sweet. I bet when you tell her it is your first time she will be delighted you chose her. And she will happily guide you through your first time. Pattaya is a 90 minute cab drive from BKK airport. Go to the disco. Almost all women there are hookers. Some appealing women will smile at you. Walk up to her. Ask if she wants to go with you. She will ask if you can give her some money. Negotiate the price. 2000 baht is usual. Is around 65 bux. She will accompany you to your hotel. And be your girlfriend for the night. You could also just go for the go-go bars, but you will pay at least double. Look up "girl friendly hotels" so they won't charge you 30 bux for bringing a girl. Oh boy this is gonna get me banned....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already had going to Thailand in my mind but that will have to wait for a while because I have one more year of studying to do. I am from a western european country btw.

[–]MajesticWhiteBull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read No more mr Nice Guy, do the excercises.

Cut off your shit "family" including your biological one which failed to protect you. After finishing your master's change your city.

Until then

[–]l2oland 0 points1 point  (0 children)

C'mon man, this is simple.

If your SMV is maxed out as you say it is (and you've read the sidebar), then literally go out and run daygame on girls until you've spoken to at least 10 girls for your first day (i'd set that as a goal and stop unless you see a girl you really want to talk to). Analyze your failures and learn from them.

Repeat until you get laid. It can be anywhere, but i'd recommend a place where there are women you'd actually be interested in meeting. You don't seem like a clubbing type, so maybe a library or some other intellectual place.

Also, stop watching porn, it doesn't help.

[–]Jaganshi93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will kill the pope to be 185cm. wtf are u doing

[–]kfd_capital 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro, you're 24 you haven't maxed out shit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thanks for the responses. I take back the statement 'I have maxxed out my SMV'. What I meant was that any more self improvement stuff isn't going to make a difference. I know it is my mindset which is holding me back because I care too much of what people think of me. I am considering going to a hooker but the fact that I might lose my virginity to a hooker feels like cheating.

[–]FrankVillain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am considering going to a hooker but the fact that I might lose my virginity to a hooker feels like cheating.

Men have been doing it for as long as money existed. No big deal. Ffs! for centuries some kids had to wait in line to fuck the only prostitute available, in an army tent, before getting butchered for no reason on the battlefield! You have it easy kiddo.

Consider the moment you will fuck a chick who isn't a prostitute your real 1st time. There is no cheating, stop this nonsense. Get rid of this stress so you can focus on something else.

You need new friends and if you can't find new ones go and travel and find a new place.

[–]depurefymii23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ignore the PUA cucks and get ready to trade some bucks.

[–]AceMav21 -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

Can we please use the English system of measurement lol

[–]thewearisomeMachine 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What does this even mean?

[–]AceMav21 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Kilos and shit is metric breh

[–]thewearisomeMachine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, exactly, and that’s what we use in England.

[–]temerity18 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]vicious_armbar 1 points1 points [recovered]

Either your standards are too high, you’re not not confidently approaching, or your logistics are garbage. If you don’t have a solid plan to seamlessly go from: number —> date —> getting her to your place —> escalation —> PIV sex; then you won’t get laid.

[–]depurefymii23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... or /u/vicious_armbar doesn't know.