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ex girlfriend tried to contact me (self.asktrp)

submitted by mohammed218

we were together for 7 years, treated her like a queen (i didnt know about TRP at the time) , she decided that she wanted a 'break', at this point is when i discovered trp, i stopped all contact with her. A few months later she tried to call me, i didn't answer. and i got this message from her today

hey, after dating for 7 years, i find it petty that you would not pick up my call or call back, i was actually just checking on you and even if you want us to break up, i think we're grown ups and there's a better way to go....

my blood was boiling when i read this, i treated her well and she's trying to hamster that i'm the evil one. i havent replied to her, whats the best move forward?


[–]fnordsnord 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

When a woman want's "space," make her feel like Neil Armstrong. When I woman want "time to think," give her a millennium. And when a woman wants a "break," give her a lifetime.

[–]Scheme002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

👏👏👏👏

[–]Jaggernaut_arlequin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice answer 👏

[–]friendandadvisor95 points96 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

It's ironic and disgusting that the cunt references your 7 years in castigating you for not calling her back. So, it's OK to walk away from you and go fuck some other bloke, after 7 years, but, it's NOT OK for you to not return a call! You must be Evil Incarnate!

Then, she says "...even if you want us to break up..." Sounds to me as if she's trying to trick you into thinking that you are still a couple, and her going off to suck every cock in town really was a 'break'! This is one mega whore, with balls of steel! She reminds me of Lina Olin (sp?) in that movie with Gary Oldman...Romeo is Bleeding?

[–]mohammed218 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

the lack of self-awareness & hamstering on her part blows my mind...but hey...AWALT, this is something i'm slowly accepting.

[–]Pork_Sword37 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Treat the “break” as a break up. Let her hamster run until it burns itself out. You should treat this as you two have indefinitely broken up and you’re now going about your life on your own terms. This is a great time for you to swallow the Pill, incorporate it, internalize it and digest it. I find a lot of men who are in LTRs and come across the Red Pill don’t actually take it in until their relationship falls in a heap.

Stay no contact with her and be happy my man. Never tolerate this kind of disrespect from women. The top comments on here are spot on.

[–]Boovs4life6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep us updated brother

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In order to tell which is the best answer or way forward, always remember this: "The resource she wants from me is my attention so that my best form of punishing her is to not give her any attention at all".

I can totally understand your blood is boiling from so bold an attempt at blaming you for something she did. I can imagine you're dying to get back at her in the wittiest, or meanest way you can. But the most efficient way you can answer this is by not giving her a second of your attention. This is the worst punishment for her. Even if in a negative manner, calling her or texting her would be a few precious seconds of your time and attention you'd be giving her so don't do that. If she somehow re-establishes contact (she bumps into you, or get a friend to call you or whatever), and ask you why you're ignoring her, just say you've been "too busy these days" or that you "have more important matters on your plate right now".

[–]Kabuki43111 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit this is soooo relatable.

[–]kendallb1838 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. I got pissed just reading her hamstering. Go NC dude... shes trying to use guilt on you. One of women's strongest emotions they use as a weapon successfully against men is guilt. They know very well how to make us feel guilty. Hence WISNIFG being one of the top must read sidebar books.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's ironic and disgusting that the cunt references your 7 years in castigating you for not calling her back. So, it's OK to walk away from you and go fuck some other bloke, after 7 years, but, it's NOT OK for you to not return a call! You must be Evil Incarnate!

Classic female manipulation. She's 100% responsible for finishing the relationship, but she'll somehow manage to make it that OP is 100% the party to blame in the story.

Then, she says "...even if you want us to break up..." Sounds to me as if she's trying to trick you into thinking that you are still a couple, and her going off to suck every cock in town really was a 'break'!

This is standard practice for women initiating break-ups.

They carefully choose words that he will interpret as not a break-up yet, but which still give her the possibility to fuck around, and give her plausible deniability afterwards. Typically it sounds like "I think we should have a little break and see how it goes". Then she's officially single anymore. She would tell her lovers "we're not together anymore", while the guy tells his friends "we're spending a bit of time apart, but we're still together".

There's been three girls in my life who I have slept with, who had "recently finished a relationship", and discovered later that the guys were mad at me because "they were still together" so that technically I was responsible for breaking up their couple. And all of them were before I got unplugged, so I was really puzzled at how could they have been communicating so badly... Now of course I know.

[–]Aggressive_Beta112 points113 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

my blood was boiling when i read this

She was shit testing you and the only reason you didn't fail is because you didn't reply to her. But the fact that you got angry over this means your frame is weak.

Women will rewrite history in their own minds to justify how they are feeling at that current point in time. If she feels that you are evil at this current point in time, then you were always evil to her. Even if you treated her like a queen, that fact instantly becomes irrelevant and never happened. AWALT. Being upset over AWALT is like being upset at the grass for being green.

Either keep ignoring her or turn her into a plate. And for fuck's sake stop letting simple things like AWALT rattle your frame.

[–]mohammed218 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

thanks, i will keep ignoring her. She's not worth plating.

[–]VigilantCMDR 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

yeah be prepared to start laughing tho she will get hella mad at you over ignoring her and start spam texting eventually. do not respond at all, theres a reason you left her!

[–]geturcraptogether6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or emailing in my case.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Not worth plating someone you had an emotional past with.. Unless you have a strong frame, and zero feelings for her.

[–]dongpal14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

which is impossible thus never plate your ex

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Think it depends on how much one was emotionally invested in the previous relationship.

[–]dongpal4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

you are always emotionally invested in a ltr, and no matter how much you were, you still have some feelings which should just die, and the women know and will exploit that. you will lose

[–]EducationalDentist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know if I skipped over content about this in the past, but this just hit me hard. You're so fuckin right. I've actually lost that gamble before and multiple times.

Never plate an LTR. I'm going to apply that immediately.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This is bad advice, she will have hidden resentment for you, she might try to have your life ruined later, by tricking, entrapping you and gathering "evidence" on you, so she'd later claim that you're rapist, abuser and so forth.

Case in point >

[–]EducationalDentist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whoa! I have an ex-LTR/plate situation right now. I hadn't even considered resentment. Glad you spoke up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

In the era of PayMeToo is there anyone really safe from a false allegation? All you can do is protect yourself, which let's be honest many men don't do and underestimating female solipsism.

[–]EducationalDentist0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ideas to protect yourself? Save all communications seems like a good start. What else?

[–]kimchi-22 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

  1. Record and act within legal boundaries. E.g. even if she jokingly says "no" while you're having sex, stop, ask for confirmation of consent - > don't receive a solid affirmation -> abort sex immediately

  2. Learn to detect crazies. Easy tells: she dyes her hair. Depends on the context and is generally true - tell: she's a feminist, and thinks believing all women is a must.

  3. Don't commit, the longer you're with women, the more she will hate your after you break up.

  4. If you have to get married, coupled with #2 try to find a female whose N-count is minimal.

  5. Have good lawyers.

[–]EducationalDentist-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

  1. It's good to add that some states require consent of both parties to record conversations. Find out your state's laws.
  2. The acceptance of crazy is proportional to a woman's hotness. I have experienced this drive firsthand and suffered for it. It's good to keep in mind at all times.
  3. I wonder about this one. The more I've been with a woman, the more she sees me as an individual human, and I presume, would be less likely to go scorched earth on me. Disclaimer, never been married, just some LTRs.
  4. Please elaborate. I don't disagree. I just don't understand how a low N-count is better. I'd guess the opposite for the purposes of not becoming a woman's target. A low-n-count woman would likely be more love/hate emotional than the blunted-emotions of a high-n woman, no?
  5. True! And I wonder if it would be more favorable to have a male or female one.

[–]kimchi-22 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

block her everywhere you can, don't dignify with an ounce of attention

[–]Dont_StopBelievin-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Blocking her just shows you can't handle seeing anything about her. Delete social media or just act like she's not on it.

[–]TehJimmyy25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

turn her into a plate.

very unlikely.

[–]Razor_Point8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All correct, all I would say is I sense OP is young, and we all made mistakes... including me right now at 22.

OP, dont make her a plate.

[–]kendallb1833 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never would I suggest turning a 7 year relationship into a plate. Ever. Dont go through your trash, plates aren't suppose to have that much drama.

[–]gunsliquorstrippers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This post should be sticky’d 👍🏻

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women will rewrite history in their own minds to justify how they are feeling at that current point in time. If she feels that you are evil at this current point in time, then you were always evil to her.

Case in point, Chloe Dykstra's ed piece on Chris Hardwick. Chloe Dykstra is a random girl who used to date Chris Hardwick for 3 years. Chris Hardwick is a successful media personality, and is married.

She accused him of "emotional abuse" because he was "controlling", by telling her not to have male friends and not to go out late at nights.

Now Chris Hardwick's faces drastic consequences to his career (he's gonna get fired from the talking shows related to The Walking Dead/Fear TWD TV series, already got his contract cancelled with the Nerdist podcast, which he founded and of which he was the main star of) ruined over something that happened a decade ago.

Shit like this is why women shouldn't be trusted, one day she's all smiles, then if in the future you become rich and successful, her hamster will spin, and she will turn into an envious, malicious bitch who will try to ruin your life to feel better about herself.

[–]jackandjill22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hm

[–]onpuzzle60 points61 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Continue ignoring that bitch, it will drive her crazy.

[–]Barassa26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You dont owe her anything.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

my blood was boiling when i read this

Then you are losing frame.

[–]White_pony41319 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't reply obviously

[–]jm5118 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whenever a guy tells me that an ex got back in touch with him, I ask him what number on the list did he think he was.

With a 7 year relationship, OP is probably top or very close to top of the list but there is always a list. #1 blows out, try #2. If #2 blows out, try #3 on the list.

[–]mozofila10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She is not worth your time. Move on

[–]Nergaal10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore and become successful. It will pain her so much to see what she gave up.

[–]ingenjor8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can relate to that feeling of having to defend yourself against obvious falsehoods and mischaracterizations; and you have the perfect comeback that you think will prove you right and "win". Easy to just hit send, right? Problem is, however, that if you engage further you will eventually lose control of the discussion.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As has been said in this thread, don't answer her. She doesn't warrant a response.

But beyond this, take some time to examine why her message made you angry. Ask yourself why a dumb bitch you broke up with warrants any investment or emotion on your part. Then work on strengthening that aspect of your character so that petty messages like this don't affect you in the future.

[–]PliskinRed13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

even if you want us to break up

Crazy. She still wants you think you're currently a couple. Do NOT fall for it. She broke up with you the second she went on a break cock riding marathon.

No contact. Don't even consider plating her.

[–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like how you're the bad guy, for not picking up. Stay no contact, and live the better life. Success is the best revenge.

[–]Merwebb4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best move is live a long prosper life and forget about her.

Yes, 7 years is a lot of time but she dumped you, most likely got with another dude, maybe got used and bounced, and now wants validation.

Yeah I can be wrong but why bother?

[–]menial_optimist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just do not respond. Block the number. I just dumped my LTR of 7 months (took her virginity, I was her first serious bf) and she's in complete denial and doesn't want to let go dsespite me saying we need to move on. She was so desperate she even offered a FWB just to keep me around. She pretty much wanted to please me in every way. I blocked and went no contact. A few days later her friend texts me saying "I hope u are happy" and I poured my heart out writing like 4 paragraphs why I don't want even to be friends and that I need to move on, and why I want to go my own way. I thought it was done then but then I et a text from the friend a week later going like "Can you please at least respond to her instead of doing this" and I just didn't respond. Responding would be pointless.

You feel like a fucking dick going no contact but its really the best thing. It's like ripping a bandaid off very quickly. It's going to sting really hard but it's actually better for both parties, as it allows one to move on quicker.

The only alternatives are long drawn out breakups that last days, weeks or even months that just rip both your hearts out and delay the inevitable.

Had I not blocked her, I'd have dealt with probably over 200 texts so far all her trying to convince me to stay and that she doesn't want to lose me.

[–]EducationalDentist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad you see the bullshit of the word "break" because there's no such thing. It just means your turn is up and she's swinging somewhere else. You're a fast learner, faster than me at least.

I might be downvoted for this, but you should have called her back, as long as you knew you could keep it casual. You're goal should be to neither pine for this girl nor hate her. You need to get to a place of friendly indifference. Ask about her family and so forth and keep it pleasant.

One thing to consider is that in the #metoo climate, you want someone with seven years of info on you to think well of you.

[–]Black_m0ngoose2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i haven't replied to her, what's the best move forward?

To live a fulfilling and successful that you can look back on, and be proud of.

Without her.

The biggest lie sold to men was that man himself was incomplete without a woman.

That just isn't so.

Remember where you came from. Don't look back with regret.

Move forward. Be free.

Those who cannot sacrifice anything, cannot change anything.

The price you must pay for victory is before you.

Don't let all the pain you've gone through to get this far be for nothing.

Let her go.

[–]michaelmindset2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dodged a bullet man, and respect for ignoring. Takes balls.

[–]ECoast_Man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have two options, and one absolute don't option:

1) Don't respond;

2) I don't see anything inherently wrong with replying, "sorry, we're broken up", and then not responding forever.

The only reason I would put 2 on the table is that 7 years is a long time, and you didn't explain the terms of this 'break'. We all know the reality terms - she's hopping on cock, and now Chad isn't returning her calls. However, if you guys said, 'let's go on a break for a few months and then discuss', I don't see anything wrong with simply being the one to make the official decision so you don't appear butthurt. I don't know, it's a bit case specific.

The don't option is don't let the anger get to to you and do something fucking stupid like 'meet up and talk about it', or go on an anger text rant to her or anything shitty like that. That's how you fail these shit tests forever.

Either don't respond, or respond simply 'we're broken up', and then dont respond.

[–]QuagOnGin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you don’t think you can plate her, you need to block her. Fuck it. You know she’s been butt fucking and blowing the entire county. Now she wants to return into her comfort zone after whoring out.

The whole “break” thing is absolutely outside of any reasonable males boundaries. She ended any chance of a relationship when she made that choice. You bump her down to FWB at the most if she proves herself unquestionably worthy.

But that is a slippery slope. I’d say Ghost Mode enabled.

[–]TehJimmyy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0uFvhCHWCo

[–]AchillesHeel770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

hahhaha Brilliant

[–]NextForever-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seven years with a relatively peaceful break-up?

I wouldn't go about like you are. I'd be honest, acknowledge the good times, and let her know how I feel about it all. There is no logical reason or anything to gain from the interaction, but seven years is a long ass time.

Have a little empathy, maybe she is lonely/depressed/regretful and needs some love. Don't leave her hangin.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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