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Is internal validation just what weak people tell themselves is all they need to be happy?

Or is external validation a much better form of validation to motivate you to succeed in life? (e.g. getting plates, money, status, social power)


[–]-drukpa-kunley-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You may not completely understand the difference between internal and external validation. It all comes down to who is setting the measure of goodness. Or even more specific, whom you are giving the power over judging whether or not you are "good enough".

Examples:
Internal validation - I set a personal goal to lift 2x my bodyweight. I worked hard and accomplished my goal. Fuck yeah, I'm awesome.

External validation - If I can lift 2x my bodyweight then other people will think I'm awesome. And if they think I'm awesome, then I must be awesome.

But it has a flip side:

Internal validation - Yes, I was born into this body and I am only 5' 3" tall. But I'm going to be the most awesome me I can be and anyone who thinks different can go pound sand.

External validation - I'm only 5' 3" tall and women only like tall men. Even though it's something I have no control over. So I am worthless in their eyes. So therefore I am worthless.

The problem with external validation is that you are chasing other people's opinions about who you are and what you should be. And you wind up living your life for those other people who may not give a shit about you. And you are judging yourself based on their judgements, not yours. You are giving the power to judge whether you are worthy or not to other people. And therefore you aren't living authentically.

And life lived inauthentically is no life at all.

  • edit: formatting

[–]ingenjor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think all attempts to better yourself are ultimately born out of a desire for external validation. Tricky question, because we only know our own minds. We can tell ourselves it's for internal validation, and we can avoid speaking about our progress to other people, but in the end I suspect we all desire our progress to shine through and be noticed by others.

[–]bhouse1140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely not

[–]1oldredder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

what? No. Internal validation is impossible for people who are weak. Internal validation means you have self-awareness and self-value. The absolute worst possible weakness is to rely only on others for validation because it means you have no real value and no real awareness and worst of all, people can be stupid as a herd and value you, or pretend to value you, for nothing at all then switch instantly which leaves you with nothing.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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