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Hey ladies! Over the last month I've taken a lot of things that you've all said to heart. I've been working on looking and acting more feminine. I've been wearing skirts and dresses and working on my make-up. It's been great!

With that note aside, on the day I was asked out (for the first time in two years I would like to point out) I was working on the docks. This means I was in a pair of sweatpants and a jacket. I work with fish, I don't want to ruin nice cloths. Anyways a very attractive guy ends up sitting at the table next to me on the deck overlooking the marina. He had just gotten some food from the restaurant next door. We started chatting. Before he left he said, "We need to hang out again, what days do you have off?" I told him. And we set up a date for coffee.

The day in question arrived, and I wore a dress and made myself look pretty. I also made some salmon dip to bring with. I got to the coffee shop and things started going bad almost immediately. First he insulted what I was wearing: "what are you all dressed up for? Are you trying to impress someone? You look better in sweat pants."

We order our drinks and go to sit down. I whip out the salmon dip. He tries some and says: "this is ok, but so-and-so's is much better". He then asks me where I got the fish from, "I went out fishing with a few people before work a couple of days ago." "What guys or something?" "Well yes." (I have a great group of girlfriends, but none of them like to fish). "They only take you fishing because they want to sleep with you, I bet you don't even know how to bait a hook."
I this point, I smile and say "thank you for asking me out, but this isn't going to work out." Grab my coffee and my fish and leave.

Anyways, that really sucked. I felt like a deer stuck in the headlights the entire time. However, I refuse to let one bad egg knock me off my course of becoming a better woman.

TL;DR: Worked on my RPwomen game, bit me in the ass. I will not be deterred.

Edit: Thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement. I left the salmon dip recipe (in what rough form its in, below /u/jade_cat 's comment.


[–]kogsworth 57 points58 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like he was trying and failing at negging you.

[–]whimsicalweasel 10 points10 points [recovered] | Copy Link

There is nothing more annoying then negging. It drives me crazy, and not in a good way.

[–]MrsStrom 11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Negging done right is just playful teasing.

[–]SoftHarem 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can confirm. I've been kicking girls in the shins physically and figuratively since middle school. Negging done right makes them go crazy.

[–]MrsStrom 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mr Strom calls it pushing girls in the mud and pulling their pigtails. It's been 11 years now.

[–]AndTheSonsofDisaster 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Could you expound on that a little more? How fine of a line is it and how do you keep from crossing it?

[–]MrsStrom 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's more in the attitude. You can say her perfume must be expensive because it smells like cow dung if you say it with a smile and a wink. Think Clark Gable (Rhett Butler) in Gone With the Wind. He was a rascal that dropped panties but wasn't considered marriage material till he used his alpha for The South, and was running the blockades. Later, because he was a doting father, all his previous "sins" were forgiven.

[–]menina_idealista 25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I smile and say "thank you for asking me out, but this isn't going to work out." Grab my coffee and my fish and leave.

It's really good that you just abandoned him and his god-awful negs right then and there. What likely happened is that you no longer looked your worst, and he wanted to bring you down a few pegs (this makes me think that he probably wouldn't even have approached you if you had been dolled up when he first saw you at the dock.) Maybe he'll learn not to reveal his glaring insecurities with the next person he asks out.

You'll meet someone far better in no time! :]

[–]jade_catEndorsed Contributor 20 points21 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

On another note, may we have your salmon dip recipe please ? :)

[–]whimsicalweasel 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Sure: It's always a little different, but in this case it was left over king salmon from the grill (1 part lemon juice, 1 part soy sauce, about a tbl of crushed garlic and just a dash of worchestershire, let marinate for about 4 hours, then grill). You then take a left over piece and toss it in a bowl with sour cream, cream cheese and mayo. Season to what you like. I usually do garlic powder, basil and parsley, but you can also add in jalepenos or pepper or anything else you want. I wish I had measurements for you, but I always just throw thing in until it looks right.

[–]homespunmama 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

YUM. We eat salmon ALL the time (my four year old loves it....) def going to try this with our leftovers next time.

[–]TempestTcup 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, that's what dating is for: weeding out the bad ones.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]SillyAmerican 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dress up to see me? Bring salmon dip? Even let me meet up with you in the first place? lol what else does this guy want? your RP game didnt bite you in the ass its just helping you weed out the dorks.

[–]lilredone 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Poor feminised beta likes masculine women, yet still thinks you can't possibly know how to bait a hook. I wish you luck finding a man who isn't threatened by a woman who can catch a fish and still make an amazing salmon dip and show up looking feminine.

And for him I wish nothing but beta bucks.

[–]VarsitySlutTeamCpt 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice job on leaving early. The guy neged you too much and didn't know how to use it. Negging only works if the other party is a little too cocky and needs to be toned down. Keep at it though, don't change a thing.

[–]sumwulf 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus, what an asshole. You did exactly the right thing by walking.

[–]AlmostRP 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Haha. Good thing you didn't leave the dip behind.

[–]greatgreatgreatgreat 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like an insecure guy who was trying to be cool. No loss there honey, keep it up.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, he's terrible at this.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

awesome! good on you to leave.

[–]JimiJons 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The more RP, the fewer bad eggs.

[–]whimsicalweasel11 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

Note to self: Do not go on dates with people who ask you out when you are covered in fish slime.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]lilredone 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha! Nice

[–]sculd 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that guy has low-boundary personality disorder or something even before being put in RP / BP framework.

[–]AerobusTRP MOD 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He tries some and says: "this is ok, but so-and-so's is much better".

He was being rude. Don't bother with him.

[–]NittanyLioness84 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That sucks! I'm sorry. Dating can be fun, and not so fun. Don't lose hope. Keep up your motivation to look good and don't be afraid to approach men.

[–]IlsesFlowers 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good work on your game. He sounds like a meanie so good job rejecting him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Negging is basically a back handed compliment (form of teasing), from my experience.

This just seems like straight up insulting.

[–]Azediae 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reading this makes me embarrassed; this guy must've read one too many PUA posts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, he sounds like he was glaringly insecure. But at least you know a type of behavior to screen for now (meaning really poor attempts at negging that are more like real insults/generally rude behavior).

[–]dreamsloth 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact that you had the courage to tell him what you felt, get up and leave when he was treating you poorly is a damn positive thing. You didn't do anything wrong; sounds like he read some "first date tips" on the internet and executed them really poorly.

Seconding what other users have said: would love to get in on that salmon dip recipe.

[–]mr_throwz 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sad thing is, most women swoon over this sort of abuse. The fact that you didn't fall for it and didn't add +1N puts you ahead of the curve.

[–]TonyDAbsolute 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Actually those aren't negs. Neg's are negative compliments ie. "Your hair is really nice, do you have any split ends?" Or, "You did a great job on your nails, except for that one."

When he is mocking your pants this is actually "breaking rapport." Men have been taught with bad dating advice that being a jerk gets girls turned on, and sadly, for many it does. But it has to be executed with great skill for it to come off as flirtatious.

Men's big fear is that they will come off as needy. So giving compliments is tough, because so many women we've given compliments to just pass us off as another "nice" guy. The thing is, the op thinks this guy is "good looking" therefore he doesn't need to employ much break rapport because it just comes off as mean, Arrogant, entitled.

I have a girlfriend who when we dated, always did this to me, "Eww your shoes are ugly."

Response: "I love ugly shoes."

Treat this kind of thing as a shit test, from a guy with poor game.

[–]MrsStrom 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Negging is more like, "nice shoes, my mom has the same ones".

Its meant to be playful teasing, not mean or nit picky. If you've been insulting women, or picking them apart like that, knock it off.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a middle-school teacher. Whenever the kids make rude comments about my clothes, I respond in a similar fashion. They hate it!

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]SadFaceBot 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

:-\ don't be sad!

[–]whimsicalweasel2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't feel bad for me, not even a little bit. One guys poor attitude and actions have nothing to do with anyone but him. I'm a big girl and can handle it. You just concentrate on you, and maybe hop over to /r/theredpill, once you get past all of the surface anger and potential shock its a really good place for self improvement. I wish you luck on your cycles around the sun. Keep your chin up!

[–]dandeezy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

wow, he sounds horrible. You did everything right. his fault.

[–]AndTheSonsofDisaster 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A woman who can be feminine but still likes to fish? Sign me up!

In all seriousness, he seems like the type of guy who thinks being alpha means you just put a women down which is stupid.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything you did was correct. I would love it if a girl went out with me and wore a dress and made herself look pretty for me and bring food! Are you kidding me? That's the best thing in the world!

He is a complete idiot with no social awareness. I used to be like that about 7 years ago when I started to learn all those silly "Pick Up Artist" tricks. I remember I behaved exactly like that toward a beautiful girl who was the last person on Earth to deserve my retarded douchebaggery. Please don't conclude anything negative from your experience with that guy, you are doing your job as a woman, and I love you for it.

[–]Budman17r 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

See to me I would have taken a lot of that as indicators of interest and would have liked it. I like women who can sport dresses

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

"what are you all dressed up for? Are you trying to impress someone? You look better in sweat pants."

Not a neg, its just being stupid. You know why you're there, he knows why you're there.

"You look nice in that dress, but I think the sweatpants looked better on you" He would have said it while smirking

This would be a neg.

Also I'm assuming you're a woman in her 30s? Older woman generally like a more direct form of game. Being assertive, yet nice. Younger college aged women like assholery.

Also, since you are a red-pill woman, you already knew what the guy was trying to do. You know and acknowledge whats supposed to make you as a woman horny, so a guy running asshole game isn't as exciting to you as he is to a bluepill woman. It would work on a blue-pill woman however.

[–]whimsicalweasel2 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm not 30 quite yet, but I do know what kind of games I don't like.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

When I'm a total aloof asshole to college girls, it works. I'm 21 years of age, ad the girls I get with are around 19-22. But when ever a 28-30 year old woman hits on me, I try to act like an assertive yet nice.

[–]whimsicalweasel1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Haha, I live in no man's land. What do you do with the 23-27 crowd?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing, I usually avoid sexual stuff with women a lot older than me. But I do hang out with women older than me, they can be good company sometimes

[–]Disgruntled_Rabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think his comments would work on anyone..

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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