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The minute you allow someone to disrespect your relationship and your SO is the minute you show the world how little you think of both. If you value your SO, and your relationship is important to you, then if (or when) someone seeks to slight either one - you have an obligation to speak up. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you normally prefer to simply get along with everyone.

Allow no one to belittle what you have. Be loyal and loving to your SO and the relationship you have worked so hard to build.


[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Excellent post.

I have had friends openly say C must be a controlling man because of some of our rules without even talking to him until I explain why the rules are in place.

Standing up for him (especially while he's not around) is one of the most important things I need to do as a girlfriend. If I were doing otherwise, it'd be disrespectful not only to him but to us as a unit.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"C" is the first letter of her SO's name, and has nothing to do with the little tirade you just went on.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. It's not enough to be silent, you have to actively speak up.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

AMEN.

My hubs calls me the watchdog, I never let people get away with being a shit to us, about us, and NEVER to him.

I've backed a 300lb man into a dumpster defending my stepson and to this day the entire family talks about it with pride. The man was my FIL and he was having a bad day and started screaming and raging AT my stepson. Oh no he didn't. My hubs tells everyone I have bigger balls than all the men in the family put together. My FIL constantly reminds me that because of my courage- he really took a look at his rage and decided to change. And he really has changed.

Protect and defend at any cost those things that are dearest to your heart.

[–]oxymorphone 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like your acknowledgement of human imperfection and ability to learn and grow from mistakes rather than doing something as childish as branding your FIL a shitlord or whatever, and that being that. This is actual maturity. Keep being a badass.

[–]KyfhoMyoba 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If I look in the dictionary for 'Momma Grizzly' will I find your picture there?

[–]Did_You_Say_Bad_Wolf 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's truly upsetting the amount of women who say they "don't understand their husbands" and "can't stand them", they resent their own marriages and therefore project those feelings onto others. I have not met a single married woman in 7 years who has not gone off on a tangent about their relationship and then turned to me and said, "Yours is the exact same, huh?" Because of their own interpretations of what they see. They become very uncomfortable when I tell them otherwise and feel as if I have betrayed my gender. :/

[–]proprioceptor 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. I was actually surprised how easily it came when I needed to stick up for me/us when I needed to. I was assertive and unapologetic, and it didn't happen again.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This really strikes home with me. My sister has always been outspoken while I'm the complete opposite. Lately we've been growing apart since she found out my SO is of a different race. She makes bigoted and borederline racist comments. I don't know if she really feels that way or just wants to get a rise out of me.

The last time I confronted her about her attitude thing went south REALLY fast. Is there a way someone like me can become more assertive without becoming overly emotional like I do?

[–]TempestTcup 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Think of it as presenting a united front to the world; you are standing tall together and even if he isn't physically standing with you, mentally he is still there with you backing you up. Be strong, and either ignore and avoid her or tell her to mind her own business.

[–]jcob-ross 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're in a typical male situation here. Just be stoic, diffuse fitness tests, A&A/D&M or ignore and so on.

You become emotional when you want something from the other party (you want to be friends with your sister). Being a bitch and disrespectful is her choice. She's basically saying it's her or your SO. Just verbalizing it is enough to difuse the situation most of the time. And then fitness tests will come :)

So yeah, maybe you two will grow apart if you stick to your SO. Chances are she will respect you and thing will be okay.

Or she'll tell herself you're dumb bitch to feel better about herself like a lot of women do.

[–]wayneywonder 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is one of the things I like most about Red Pill. While I get that their is a time and a place to offload about problems and frustrations, in life generally, maybe even relating to relationships, with close friends, I really would not like to be how some people are in relationships. That is, joking in a Mickey taking way about their partner or relationship, mentioning personal stuff, or allowing others to be critical. I try not to say anything about my SO or our relationship that I wouldn't happily say to him/in front of him. And not to have it said by others too. It comes easily because I couldn't sit back and hear someone be unkind or critical of my SO, I couldn't bear to hear it, would have to say something. And I'm not even very assertive, but that is the line!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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