Whats wrong with me? (self.asktrp)
submitted 1 year ago by mikerate
I thought I swallowed the pill but I can't escape this cycle of depression.
23 years old, best shape of my life, in school to make a 6 figure salary, spinning 3 plates with a good group of friends, but I still go through phases of feeling depressed.
Basically its right after sex with a plate and I just feel like "what the fuck is the point of this"
I guess you could say the only thing that I am missing is a LTR.
The problem is that I know how these girls aren't loyal and the thought of how easy they can get guys makes me feel sick and NOT want an LTR because my fantasy is unrealistic. But then deep down I want something that doesn't exist: a unicorn.
[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 146 points147 points148 points 1 year ago (11 children)
Congratulations. You found out that money and women alone can't male you happy nor can any other external source. Now find a mission and pursue it.
[–]cappadocianhawk 24 points25 points26 points 1 year ago (2 children)
I had thought enough money to live comfortably and having pussy on tap would make me happy.
I guess I am happy, but there is always more to work towards to build a better me.
[–]satlinrabbow 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Thing is you had to acquire all that before you wanted something else. For men, women/money are the strongest desires, women = procreation/biology money = power,
Its in our genes to go and acquire this, only after acquiring this are we now free to really figure out what else life has to offer. . .and it is a lot.
[–]cappadocianhawk 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
That is true. They only lose value when you have enough of both so you can start to appreciate other things.
[–]HumbleTrees 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Our quick release dopamine culture of instant gratification has programmed a lot of us to never quite be satisfied. Op I recommend meditating if you don't already. Find happiness in what you already have, rather than pursuing happiness. That which you seek is already there, you just aren't seeing it. Find the beauty in the mundane, reawaken your childlike beguilement.
Sex is just a hit of dopamine and oxytocin. You can get the same dopamine hit from success or novelty (seeing or experiencing new things). There is nothing wrong with you Op. Just find a passion that isn't women and follow it with every fibre of your being.
[–]Buchloe 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (5 children)
Are there any good posts on how to find a mission? Like, what's an example of a mission that truly gives you a sense of pure gratification outside of women and money?
[–]adool999 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
How I see it, you either really love something and get really into it like making things with your hands, sports, god, starting a company, having 5 kids, inventing something, fucking a 1000 chicks, being alone in your room, going to the moon, helping your parents. Could be anything really.
It could also be based on what you hate, proving people wrong, taking revenge, changing the world. You will generally be more motivated to do those things. At the cost of sacrificing people around you and your mental health.
[–]iamdonkeybrained 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child)
[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Lol I just found this same one this morning and posted it on here. Good stuff
[–]aircavscout 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Aside from the basics, everyone is going to want something different. Even within the basics, different people will be satisfied by different levels. Explore your interests. Find new things to do even if (especially if) those new things make you uncomfortable.
Thanks. Been struggling with this. Looked for more info on how men have done this, and found a good article that I linked as a direct reply to OP
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 1 year ago (7 children)
Deep down is your cultural conditioning, which appear as if they are your own needs and thoughts. You are expected to want LTR and get married and be law abiding society's drone.
But that's not what men are designed to do or really want. Sex is just for getting off. Passion for something, job, hobby, some activity is what makes people happy in general. Not finding a unicorn. You were lied to like everyone else. The sooner you realize that women are good only for one maybe two basic things, the better your life will be since you will stop worrying how to find this "true love".
[–]mikerate[S] 12 points13 points14 points 1 year ago (6 children)
Thanks. I feel the best when I’m not chasing women and with my boys/working on my career. It’s just a brief phase of depression after I fuck the plates and lose my horniness and realize I don’t even have a deep connection with them, the “love” bs.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 1 year ago (4 children)
Yes, all men have this post-sex feeling more or less. It's biological stuff and it's impossible to change this. You can only ignore it and start doing important stuff after sex.
[–]Naebany 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (3 children)
Really? I always feel happy and fulfilled after sex.
[–]blister333 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Right after I do as well. The next day I go back to feeling the same. It’s like a hit of cocaine- feels great during but you get nothing out of it long term
[–]middobbo 1 points1 points1 points 1 year ago [recovered]
You're probably deriving validation from it. If so, you should work on that.
[–]Naebany 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I'd say I'm pretty validated. Successfull for my age, spending fun times, got great friends etc. I just really love sex ;D maybe more than average?
[–]failingtheturingtest 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
You're not satisfied with your plates. Plates can be much more than just sex without falling into the love bullshit. Don't settle for sheilas that are good enough to fuck, or hot enough that being boring as sin doesn't matter. The only sheilas that get to hang around long enough to be plates should bring other value to your life. Be fun to be around. Do things that you find interesting. Have interesting things to talk about. Time spent with plates shouldn't be a sacrifice you must make to get laid, it can still be time well spent.
Time to fucking upgrade! I bet you've improved and you're seeing the improvement in yourself but not your plates.
[–]Morphs_ 13 points14 points15 points 1 year ago (0 children)
You are missing self-love. And an LTR is not going to provide you with that.
I've had recurring phases or depression since I was like, 9 years old. It always had to do something with female rejection. However porn usage also became part of the mix.
I went to a psychologist last year and that has helped me a lot. Got in and out of a toxic LTR and now I'm fully enjoying life TRP style.
You seem to suffer from "La petite mort", which refers to a declining emotional state right after orgasm. Often light depressed feelings. It tends to be the result of overstimulation of your dopamine receptors through sex and masturbation.
So for one, stop or minimize masturbation. Second you may want to experience with going abstinent for a while, that can help too.
For the rest, find a balanced life. I need my alone time so I can socially recharge. But I also need social interaction else I start to feel bad.
Read up on meditation and start 10-20 minutes of meditation in the morning.
[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (0 children)
You need to find your purpose, your mission, in life.
[–]FlipflopETHtop 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I read a book called “positive psychology”, Its Danish and cant be bothered to see If there is a english version. But basicly it revovles around happiness, and the mental reflection of it.
Everything you’re saying implies that everything is going good, you have a bright future, but due to the term “hedonistic addiction” no matter the amount of girls, wealth etc you achieve, your mind will after awhile alter itself to this new norm, bringing back the old cycle of self deprication. There’s only one way to feel accomplished, keep progressing, or else your mind will stagnate and head into a depression more or less..
[–]micr0penis 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Are you happy when your single?
Why do you want an LTR?
If it's because you're dissatisfied with something about yourself, where you're headed, who you are, etc. It will only result in a short term bandaid that will get ripped off and leave you worse then before.
If it's to compliment your life, then that's good, healthly, and normal. My suggestion would be to keep your casuals and keep dating until you find someone worthy.
Do not try and turn one of your casuals into something that it shouldn't be and don't date on the expectation that you'll find what you want.
While this is pretty generic advice, it's still fundamental and true.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (4 children)
What are you doing in school that will net you a 6 figure salary?
[–]psirras316 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (1 child)
cocaine is a helluva drug.
[–]deville05 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children)
You are looking for love my friend and it comes in many forms.
Try giving and doing things for others for a while instead of just living for yourself. Maybe that will help. It's been known to help.
[–]KettleLogic 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
You insecurity ar girls not being loyal and your general thought that LTR is what will fix you is your problem. All the money, sex, or perfect partners in the world doesnt make you like who you see looking at you in the mirror. If you are a half dont look for someone else to make you a whole. You need to just become a whole on your own.
You are depressed because you need to learn to love yourself. Let go of the hatred or self loathing that made you seek the red pill. Learn to love the only person who's ever going to die with you.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Time to discover older women. Even when I was 20, I was attracted to women in their 30's or 40's who could hold a conversation and were better in bed.
[–]lapeparoja 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Are you on heavy drugs?
[–]2johnnight 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Clearly the solution to your problem is to get a girl that can't easily get a guy because she is not pretty.
[–]oytrp 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Sounds like you have made women or getting laid your mission and found it's an empty pursuit.
Find a real mission that makes your happiness independent of others.
[–]Gawernator 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
Do you have hobbies you enjoy?
[–]mikerate[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Lifting, gonna have a great session today.
[–]Gawernator 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Outside of exercise which is standard
[–]Casanova-Quinn 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
It sounds like you need to sit down and figure out what your true goals are. A useful mental exercise is to think about death. Like if you had only a year left to live, what would you do? Or if you were laying on your deathbed right now, what would you regret not doing? Any ideas that quickly come to your mind are likely the most important to you.
[–]Buchloe 1 points1 points1 points 1 year ago [recovered]
I too have had trouble "finding a mission". Looked up TRP articles on how to find your mission this morning, and came upon this great post.
[–]mikerate[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Thanks, I always thought my career in the medical field helping people would be a mission and I enjoy it, but ultimately it is just a job. Lifting is one of the many hobbies making me happy but I guess I have to find more.
I always watch YouTube videos of these fitness personalities like Bradley martyn opening up gyms, selling clothes, and preaching that their mission is making a difference in the lives of others. I think a lot of entrepreneurs like ElonMusk, etc have found their mission and put their soul into it. The problem I have is accepting the fact that a mission does not have to be something that’s gonna change the world as long as you enjoy it
For real. When I think about it in terms of my ideal lifestyle, I see simple things that won't change the world but that still make me feel really good about myself and my life.
[–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
you're actually describing why a man's purpose or mission in life should be his #1 focus... never a woman or $$.
if you don't believe it, ask any musician's wife if she's #1 or #2 in her husband's life. if she's honest, she KNOWS he'll give her up before he gives-up his love for his craft.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
[–]OhDeer10 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I'm the same way man. You verbalized my thoughts perfectly with that last paragraph.
Like other guys said: find a mission. I have one, and it may be a touch unrealistic, but it makes me happy to work on it. I want to work on AIs (artificial intelligences). It's hard! But whatever I end up doing it makes me happy to work on it and that's what matters.