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94

Is it just me or...... (self.asktrp)

submitted by nummas

In the past, when a guy decided to settle down and marry, he was respected by his mates and other men.

These days I actually lose respect for my friends or anyone who decides to marry.

Am I the only one?


[–][deleted] 114 points115 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because marriage now it's almost worthless. Men get very little benefits and all the burden and obligations. At least in Western world

[–]wataDs8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes. Dont get the government involved during this political climate and the forseeable future. Just fucking dont. Not even prenups are future proof. Any cucked judge can flip that shit without a sweat.

[–]ElectricalLocal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but, I'm pretty sure prenups don't protect anything earned after the marriage either.

[–]Quantum_Jiraiya 1 points [recovered]  (16 children) | Copy Link

It is not unreasonable to get married, and you shouldn’t lose respect for everyone that gets married.

Plenty of marriages actually work out well, sex is consistent, and you raise healthy kids that go on to have kids of their own.

The issue is that these days you only have a 20-40% chance of that happening.

If Chad Bigmoneybags marries Sarah Putson40lbsin2yearswithnokids, sure, think lowly of him.

When Brad Imadoctor marries Brittany Nokidsbutstayathomewife, sure, think lowly of him.

But when Tim Imaredpilledandfiscallyresponsibleguy marries Cynthia Smartcaringmom, has 4 kids, sex every other day, and someone to care about him in his later years, don’t feel bad for him.

[–]throwsdoor26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

^ Underrated comment. This is why we all need to watch out

[–]omega_dawg939 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

finding Cynthia in the USA is like finding a needle in a haystack, blind-folded with one arm.

[–]AlfredKinsey17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or you can take the blindfold off and see that there is plenty of hay to cum on.

[–]omega_dawg933 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

been dere.... done dat.

where is Cynthia? lol

[–]Lightning14-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm 32 years old now and know three close buddies, including my brother, who started dating their now wives in or shortly after senior year of high school that has worked out well for all. They had some stumbling blocks early on, but because their gfs/wives did not ride the cock carousel in their college years, their hypergamy doesn't appear to be an issue. I know at least 2 of them have N-counts of 1. The third I can't imagine is higher than a handful at most. They all came from good family homes as well of course.

Meanwhile, those guys, despite having some bluepill tendencies, (and their gfs/wives) have done well for themselves in their careers not having their energy distracted by chasing chad/pussy.

The older you get the more those catches are tied down and the fewer left on the market that make great LTR/wife/mother material.

[–]omega_dawg934 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

great story.

but i don't know, don't want to know, don't pretend to know, and wouldn't guess what another adult's n-count actually is... only they know-unless you're with them 24/7.

i have 3 sisters... each of which could win an oscar for acting as they can create tears on command to 'prove' to their bf's that they did not cheat. meanwhile, there were guys sneaking in the windows night in/out. my point: women lie... and lie a LOT.

with the current divorce rate and the tendency for women to initiate divorce, the 'market' is just that... a market. you need to evaluate what's there carefully, choose wisely, and not pay too much for what might be rotten once you get it home.

[–]AlfredKinsey-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The older you get the more those catches are tied down and the fewer left on the market that make great LTR/wife/mother material.

or you can date younger women

[–]-DeadLock-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Unfortunately you have to give up on white girls usually. It can happen tho.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

white girls? what about AWALT, or are white girls supposed to be 'special' in some way?

[–]-DeadLock0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Im saying you might need to marry into immigrants for traditional values

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

oh i agree with you there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wait what’s wrong with the Sarah and Brittany types?

[–]AlfredKinsey-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If my wife gains 40 lbs in the first two years of marriage, I think it's only right to cook her and eat the body.

[–]-DeadLock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bizarre comment/10

[–]KumonRoguing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ass has the best marbling, trust me I'm a food inspector.

[–]Bruchibre53 points54 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

I think getting married without a good and official reason is stupid.

- Having kids, good reason

- Becoming a president of the USFA and needing a first lady, good reason

- Getting a visa, disputable reason

- Religious reasons, well if you are religious OK

So many guys get married just for love etc. I've asked people before: do you have kids? no. They why did you get married? I don't know.

If you are with a girl for a while people always say "put a ring on her".

What for? does being married give you a false sense of safety?

[–]manwhoknowshow2feel52 points53 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Right? A Gf can cheat on you and so can a wife, except you only lose a couple of hoodies when you dump your gf

[–]Tiway2224 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Haha losing hoodies... right on the money bro

[–]manwhoknowshow2feel19 points20 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Still a bit pissed that I lost my favourite hoodie that I've had for 5+ years to the ex

[–]Tiway226 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same here! And it’s not worth taking to her to get it back lol. RIP the good hoodies.

[–]ChadTheWaiter100-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bitch took one of my favorite dvds - semipro

[–]Bruchibre19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, you owe nothing to your gf, you officially belong to your wife.

[–]AlfredKinsey4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you only lose a couple of hoodies when you dump your gf

Lol, this guy has experience!

[–]Lightning142 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You left out financial reasons. My brother married his wife when he entered the marine corps' officer candidate school to be a pilot. It jumped his pay higher and ensured his wife had medical benefits, etc.

They had been together for a good 6+ years before that, including 2 years post-college in which she was pulling in more income while he was figuring out his career path. He'd already been through his lowest, being under/unemployed for some of that time, so this wasn't just some hot lay that was going to divorce rape him next year.

Since he's been in the corp for the last 5 years I've seen their relationship become more and more RP - even though he's not aware of RP in any way. He's just become a better man, and she's become less career driven and increasingly more supportive.

[–]DoomzDayTurkey1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

why do you say getting a visa is a disputable reason

[–]clausternn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very situation dependent.

Often times for some people it's clearly a good reason though.

[–]PerplexingPegasus_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ask your local Nigerian prince, he’ll tell you why it’s worthwhile.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

  • Getting a visa, disputable reason

Canadian here, and gotta say I really want a US green card...

[–]AlfredKinsey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'll marry you, bro!

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are with a girl for a while people always say "put a ring on her".

Man, I hate that. The flack I get for hating that is immense, too.

What for? does being married give you a false sense of safety?

For some guys caught in the matrix, probably. In my experience it just seems like it gives the woman a false sense of security that she's got it all locked down now and can take a deep breath before entering comfort mode. Of course, a natural sense of dread is a wonderful thing from there if you happen to end up in marriage.

[–]Jabers130 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

USFA?

[–]LateralThinker134 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I assume that's the United States of Feminist America.

[–]Khiv_-1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how having kids is a good reason.

Kids and marriage are just a bad investment, they are a way of feeding some fantasy but the cost is too high compared to what you get in return.

Just use this money/time to invest in yourself. You could lift, get a great body, get plastic surgery, get a great career, and fuck 18-25 yo chicks until your penis dies. You could pay for sex regularly and it would still be cheaper than raising a kid.

I don't see marrying for religion as respectful either. I respect people's right to believe in whatever they want, but being religious certainly reduces my opinion of a person.

Getting a visa and becoming a president of whatever seem like legit reasons, though.

[–]Bruchibre9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how having kids is a good reason.

That's absolutely not necessary, just a personal point of view. If I have kids one day I would like them to happen in the framework of a marriage. Maybe because my parents are still married.

Kids and marriage are just a bad investment, they are a way of feeding some fantasy but the cost is too high compared to what you get in return.

Well you don't really get much in return. I think either you accept that everything you've done dies with you (and goes to the government) or you try to leave a legacy on earth.

Just use this money/time to invest in yourself. You could lift, get a great body, get plastic surgery, get a great career, and fuck 18-25 yo chicks until your penis dies.

I assume it gets old. I'm 35 and am not there yet but I think by 45 I'd like to have kids.

You could pay for sex regularly and it would still be cheaper than raising a kid.

True. You could also go on a cruise around the world or buy 2 sport cars and it would be cheaper than raising a kid, not sure about what's your point here.

I don't see marrying for religion as respectful either. I respect people's right to believe in whatever they want, but being religious certainly reduces my opinion of a person.

Agree with you. I'm not religious. But I admit that some people are.

Getting a visa and becoming a president of whatever seem like legit reasons, though.

Getting a visa, kind of tricky. An ex gf studying in my country asked me for it like 12 years ago and I said no. I could have gotten married with my current gf to become resident in her country (where I'm living) and find job easily but I didn't. I went the hard way: tourist visa and find a job in a company who could sponsor me. I don't want to owe her anything of that kind, not worth the headache I think.

[–]Khiv_0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well you don't really get much in return. I think either you accept that everything you've done dies with you (and goes to the government) or you try to leave a legacy on earth.

Maybe all fo my ideas here are because I'm part of the first group. When you die, you are dead, you don't exist anymore. Any legacy that you leave or will be meaningless to you because, well, you won't be there to give meaning to anything.

So I guess it really depends on your philosophies. My point is just that I'd rather invest in stuff that I know will give me some gratification than invest in a family, which is an uncertain investment that will certainly cost a lot monetarily and emotionally and might not give me the return I expect.

[–]Bruchibre5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I get it now thanks. It’s all about personal philosophy. Your point is valid and sometimes I think about it. But that’s quite nihilistic.

Well let’s say in 10 years from now you decide that you want kids. Do you think it’s a legit reason to get married with their Mother? Haha

[–]Khiv_-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think of myself more as an existentialist than a nihilist (when we die we fade into nothing but we can still give meaning to our lives while we are living them).

Well let’s say in 10 years from now you decide that you want kids. Do you think it’s a legit reason to get married with their Mother? Haha

That's a good question, but even under this light I'm not sure it's a good idea to marry. Yes, the woman might help me out raise our child or she might decide to divorce and make it hard for me to see my own child. I think I would rather raise the child on my own and if I had money I'd hire people to help with stuff like making food or whatever.

[–]MiZiSTiK4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lol you'll die alone then.

[–]Khiv_1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Everyone will.

[–]MiZiSTiK2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No my Father won't die alone because I will be there kiddo.

Same goes for my Mother aswell, you however, will die alone. So you have that to look forward to.

[–]Khiv_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll be there, but he will be alone in that he will be the one feeling the pain and the imminence of death. I'm saying this because I've been really ill and even though I had loving people around me, I felt alone and desperate.

Also, one thing to note is that relationships are rarely reactive. What I mean is that just because you put effort into someone, you have no guarantee that they will put it back on you. You could be a great father and raise your child well but he could still grow up giving 0 fucks to you. On the opposite, you could be a self-absorbed asshole and still have people care for you. Look around and you will see that what I'm saying is quite common.

I get this idea of raising a family in order to be less lonely, but I think there is no way to make sure it will work, it might be even true that the chances of this working are the same of it not working, which makes it just a gamble and a fantasy.

[–]prankster99917 points18 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I actually view marriage as a double edged sword of sorts. Just a way for a woman to lock you down, cash in her chips, after she's spent years having "fun". And then divorce you because of her inability to pair-bond, whilst still getting paid via alimony payments.

[–]Vouch33r10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Double-edged sword means that it could hurt(benefit) both you and her. Don't you rather mean 'double a burden' for a man?

[–]prankster9991 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well.. there's still the benefit of being perceived as a mature individual, and having an enhanced reputation as a "decent man" among the older generations. That is until everything falls apart when the man's life is ruined at the end.

[–]Vouch33r1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get your idea now and agree wholeheartedly. Have a good day bro!

[–]taa1a0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not all women are like that though.

[–]prankster9991 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you talking about the 5%?

[–]taa1a0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are people with principles in the world and even in our depraved culture. They certainly aren't the majority, but they're around.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's because marriage was a man taking over the responsibility of a woman from her father and creating a family to further society. She was then dedicating herself to her husband's frame. Doing what it took to please him, support him, and raise his family in whatever way he chose. A few drunken abusers caused laws to be written acknowledging that women are worthless without a man, so for them to leave the situation, they needed to be still provided for.

Now, marriage is signing up to give a woman what she wants in her frame because she can leave you at any time and take half your shit because what was a safety net acknowledging women can't fend for themselves is now an entitlement she can get just because she wants to fuck the pool boy. She's trying to leave his frame the day after the wedding and insists "happy wife happy life" is what she's entitled to.

Marriage used to be the ultimate responsibility for a man, now its the ultimate liability.

[–]light-----------dark4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Nope, you’re not.

[–]Bruchibre4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Am I the only one?

It's like these people on ChangeMyView who post perfectly normal and mainstream opinions.

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You mean like 98% of the people who post there? Who then go on to "change their view" after 1 halfway reasonable counter argument comes along that they really should have been able to consider on their own. That sub is such a disappointment.

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Definitely a disappointment. I liked the concept but never found anything remotely interesting there.

[–]kellykebab1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ditto

I'm realizing that part of the problem with reddit is that it is mostly people in their late teens and early 20s who have just enough knowledge to be way overconfident about their beliefs and reasoning abilities.

[–]Bruchibre1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I feel that a lot about TRP as well. Some people here are blunt AF and are obviously in college so see everything through that scope.

[–]mugenowns2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men's only bargaining power is their ability to walk away. Marriage takes quite a bit of that away.

[–]RedSkeller1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a sucker's bet, and while I try to stay non-judgmental to my friends - it is disappointing to see them swept under the wave of popular opinion. That's all marriage is these days, it's a commitment of convenience. Women are told at an early age this is what life is all about and men are told they need to do it to be a stand up guy for a lady. Big daddy government and media push it because it reinforced social norms and keeps the capitalism machine running rather smoothly. So I feel bad my bro is under the impression he has to marry Jenny Suckabunchacockadis because he poked her for a few years and she wants to pretend they have a love story for the ages but you can't control the narrative obviously.

[–]3chazthundergut1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Modern marriage is an abdication of power to the female.

It does serve its purpose though

[–]bluechipmonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe they are secretly jeaoulus

[–]oytrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the context.

A guy who meets a young HB with (hopefully) a low N count. Spends years vetting and cultivating a relationship. Marries and has children. I respect that. It's not ideal and maybe not in your best interest, but respectable.

A guy who has had meh luck with women and meets a post (or fast approaching) wall woman and settles after dating for a year? Soft.

 

Seems like option two is becoming the norm among millennial. Like clock work, as soon as they get a LTR at 28-30s they suddenly get hitched.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I live in US, yeahhhhhh I see what you mean.

Most of the mates that have married are going to regret it very soon. I respect the ones that did it right though. They are unquestionably the minority IMO

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're not the only one.

Marriage in today's society seems to be a status thing, not a trust based on genuine long-term commitment...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't get why you'd lose respect; I'd more-so just feel happy (or sad) for them, depending on the type of women they're marrying. I understand AWALT, but if they're ignorant of TRP, that's their problem, not mine to criticize.

[–]mieato-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes just you in the entire universe.

[–]Khiv_-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Downvoted because of clickbaity title. Should have included a title that makes it clear what the question is going to be about.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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