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After six months of lifting, I just noticed women are increasingly sending me all sorts of signals... is this all it takes? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Erica886

My hb6 coworker who's about to get married is eating me with her eyes: each time I stand up near her or walk by her, she looks at my body like a guy does with a woman...

Another coworker (a girl that wouldn't give me the time in the past) tried to keep another woman away from me when working (lol), she's constantly trying to catch my eye or looks at me from a distance, and today, she bent over a desk to talk to another woman, with me behind her, knowing full well I was getting a first row seat to her ass...

I was already getting good reactions with jokes and stuff, but nothing like this...

I know these are coworkers and they are off limits, but damn, do women flip on you like this when you get bigger?


[–]SisyphosOnTop46 points47 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Not bigger but more muscular. Getting fat while gaining muscle is not acceptable.

And yes.. The difficulty of the game decreases. It's not funny but it's true.

[–]spliffgang13 points14 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

lol thats so not true im big and i look great with a shirt on so bitches always staring, i have some fat but obviously nothing crazy. The point is you dont have to get crazy abs at 5% body fat. Look good with a shirt on and bitches will come flocking

[–]RPStone12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm not arguing your point, but man if you've never had abs before, get them at least once in your life. Do a spring cut until you have abs showing and go to some pool parties in the summer. I guarantee you will be stunted at all the attention you get.

[–]1oldredder3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

it will also make your body feel like shit.

Just building all that muscle had me eating 5 huge meat-rich meals per day, but cutting what remaining fat there is just to show off abs will literally leave me starving non-stop to a point I won't even be able to sleep.

Do it if you want but don't torture yourself just to impress women for 5 minutes. They aren't that important. Fat has a positive function in the body and being so cut you show abs is not healthy for some men. For some it is and for them, go for it.

[–]RPStone4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Proper cutting will never leave you starved or unable to sleep. You need a good diet with a caloric deficit that is high in fiber, protein, and water intake.

I would not cut before doing a ton of research or hiring a professional trainer/nutritionist.

[–]gaki123-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What a cope lmao! Research about effective diet, """""""big""""" guy

[–]spliffgang1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

youre right ive never had abs before because i used to be fat then lost weight then started lifting and got big. So i dont know both sides of the spectrum, what i do know though is i have a couple of friends who are cut up and have abs, they look better shirtless, but with a shirt on i look much better. Ill have to cut and see whats up.

[–]1anonlymouse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women don't care much about abs, they care about the iliac furrow. For some men it's impossible to have a defined iliac furrow without defined abs, but if you have it without there isn't a huge payoff to cutting to get washboard abs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He said "getting fat" not "gaining fat"

[–]1oldredder4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

apparently getting a little fat, not a lot, while also gaining massive muscles is very acceptable to most women from the pair-ups I can see by the hundreds face to face.

[–]1anonlymouse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

At some point below 10-15% bodyfat your strength drops despite having the same lean muscle mass. Why that is isn't clear, but would also explain why women don't find ripped bodybuilders attractive. They like muscle because it tells them the man is strong, once you have physical characteristics that show you're less strong than you could be it's a turn off.

[–]criveros-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that's why I'm focusing on losing fat going from skinny fat to skinny. I do about 45 minutes of high intensity elliptical everyday. I need to burn about 5 pounds. After, I'll focus on getting bigger.

[–]1anonlymouse3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wrong approach. Do a program like stronglifts. Beginners will in most cases lose fat and gain muscle at the same time. Once you hit the point that you're gaining muscle and no longer losing fat, a decision to focus on just losing fat is valid, but to start out you're delaying getting strong with no payoff.

[–]gaki1232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

45 minutes of high intensity elliptical everyday

BS. Either you are lying or it's not "high intensity"

[–]thetrpthrowaway-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just watch your calorie intake, that's all which matters. Eating less than you need = losing fat

[–]Peter_B_Long24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it has something to do with your new muscle mass, but with lifting, you get many more benefits besides muscles. Your testosterone goes up, and with that you get a bunch of masculine benefits that make you more attractive.

Just remember not to shit where you eat. Don't date these co-workers.

[–]Erica886 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Just remember not to shit where you eat. Don't date these co-workers.

I was thinking of hitting on the one who's about to get married :p Just kidding, although it would have been so cool if we didn't work together.

By the way, the girl has a picture of her boyfriend as her desktop background, and man that guy is fluffy, skinny-fat. The other day, the picture came up, and she was somehow trying to justify his shitty body by saying "he was thin back then!", in the mist of a gigantic awkward silence. There something so hot at seeing a girl acting nervous like this :)

[–]Peter_B_Long0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess man. I know how you feel about women in the workplace, but it's most important to remain professional. It's really not worth the risks when you're really going to get nothing out of it. People will spread rumors of you, people will report you for sexual harassment, and for what? Keep professional but it's okay to observe their behavior. You are around them 8 hours a day, at as well practice some skills right? Observe their behavior, observe their interactions, pass shit tests (unless it's professional), work on charisma, leadership, and influence. But do not flirt with co-workers.

[–]Insydeinformation points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes, but it's just a tease, usually. Good looking guy's problems. These women just want your attention because it's worth more now. Don't take it too seriously. I've been dealing with that crap for my entire life, and it just an annoyance now.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True story. Hot girls will still shit test, although the shit testing does reduce a fuck load.

[–]SmoothBeliever2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I went to cinema

[–]blackwater230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just remember to actually withdraw attention if you're not getting any. Flips the dynamic

[–]TryhardPantiesON1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've been dealing with that crap for my entire life

/r/humblebrag

[–]Insydeinformation points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Get the fuck over it. I hate having to cater to insecure people.

[–]TryhardPantiesON0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Get the fuck over it? Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

[–]Erica886 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, girls showing you their asses or biting at each other is so hard on a guy xD

[–]Insydeinformation points points [recovered] | Copy Link

If you are a teenager in puberty or if it's something new to you, sure. But I don't go around thinking about women 24/7, and I don't like people getting in my face all the time.

Once you see it for what it is (a narcissistic attention ploy) it loses its appeal really fast. Annoying is an understatement, it's actually angering, distracting and stupid. Don't pretend you are doing guys any favors with that crap.

[–]Erica886 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm 29. And a woman showing me her ass or wearing a cleavage so I can see it, makes me feel good.

Don't look if you don't like it man, it's a free world.

[–]Insydeinformation points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Do I care what you think, and did I ask for your opinion?

[–]Erica886 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Don't look if you don't like it man, it's a free world.

[–]Insydeinformation points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Did I ask for your advice? I can handle myself fine. Worry about your own life, you fuck.

[–]Erica886 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Don't look if you don't like it man, it's a free world.

[–]Insydeinformation points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Did I ask for your advice? I can handle myself fine. Worry about your own life, you fuck.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]nomorebsever6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Short answer - yes. You haven't mentioned a couple of things though - a) Did you make some kind of "extreme makeover" kind of change? Were you scrawny or fat? the more dramatic the change, the more dramatic the reaction b) It's very likely that you are giving off a stronger "vibe' now that you've honored your commitment to yourself through consistent lifting and personal development. I don't know, maybe they smell that in some pheremone kind of way? c) Just curious - how many days a week did you train?

Whatever it is ...You've earned it..so Enjoy IT!

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]WhyIsYosarionNaked10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The way you worded your response (conquer) makes me think that you rode a wolf home from the gym. Rock on brother.

[–]Mr_Talent2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm 28, not bad looking, though I'm no Brad Pitt. I'm 1.83m and 80kg. Bodyfat is at 12~13%, I go to the gym 3x per week, swimming pool 2x... so I would say I'm on the top 20 or 30%.

My point is... I don't get the kind of reaction OP describes. I also dress well and have a good job... honestly the only thing I'm lacking is being a millionaire! So, OP I'm really curious about how you look like and what type of growth are we talking about!?

[–]wanderer7790 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm about even with you and don't get a lot of attention, although occasionally I do. I think the point where guys of our stature really start to pop would be around 190 or 200 pounds (85-90 kg) with maybe 12%-15% bodyfat.

There is more to it than just having muscles though. You also want them to be somewhat balanced on your body. There's also posture, haircut, and clothes. By the way, the only subreddit I know of for girls ogling a specific body part on men (other than penises) is r/forearmporn.

One thing is for sure, if women are attracted to you they are going to look. So you probably have work to do somewhere.

[–]Mr_Talent0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

(85-90 kg) with maybe 12%-15% bodyfat

I think you are on point here! That's my brother. He is 1.84m with 86kg and bodyfat around 15%. No one can tell looking at us that we have only 6kg of difference. He looks so much bigger than me. Also large shoulders fucking help.

That forearm thing is totally new to me. Never heard of such before.

[–]mancozbi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Biceps too. Women find them just as sexy.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Mr_Talent0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nothing else to ask :p

I'm also on IT btw... usually not a lot of chicks on the work environment and the ones that are there... not a pleasure for the eyes.

[–]platewrecked1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'll bet your carrying yourself better; you move more athletically.

[–]trpbleh1231 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I've never had this happen. I'm not jacked by any means but I'm fit, lean, and veins showing but haven't had this experience happen to me where women check me out. I've had dudes come up and talk to me about lifting though.

I think it's important to lift and everything but I don't think getting muscle automatically makes you some eye sex machine.

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Just out of interest. Your description of 'fit, lean and veins showing' leaves me thinking you're slim-athletic rather than muscular. Would that be accurate?
I used to be lean, mostly 12-15% body fat, always had some abs, biceps were obvious, and I was vascular.
I bulked some more (just to the point of fully filling out my t-shirt, same size), even though i'm probably 18-20% BF, need to tense my abs to notice them, have a little bit of padding around the waist and my biceps have grown but are no longer as clearly defined as before.
I get far more attention now. Although as someone else pointed out, I do NOT discount the un-quantifiable effects of lifting (added confidence, posture, test, etc.)

I've also figured out that deadlift day I get the most IOI. I have little to no visible pump on DL day since I work DL, hams, quads, and core. Maybe I get a little trap pump because I tend to favour them a bit much on DL. Still, chest/arms day I am my biggest, but DL day I get looked at like I'm superman (I feel like I'm superman).

[–]trpbleh1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just out of interest. Your description of 'fit, lean and veins showing' leaves me thinking you're slim-athletic rather than muscular. Would that be accurate?

That sounds about right. I'm 5'11, about 160 lbs right now, I'd say 12-14% bf, abs are there. 15 inch arms to give some perspective. I'm not really into the bodybuilder look anyway.

I used to be a fatty but over the past 3-4 years I've made a lot of progress and feel much better overall, more confident, and have better posture. I definitely don't discount the benefits of lifting, as they are plentiful. But in my case, the attention from women never really increased (either that or I'm completely oblivious to it). I don't want to bulk to higher bf%. Coming from a former fatty, higher bf %s are the last place I want to go again. I'm pretty comfortable in my skin where I am now.

Edit: My body is also biased towards belly fat which stinks because even if I start to put on a little bit of extra, it doesn't look good.

I honestly think I need to work on game more than anything right now.

[–]SmoothBeliever0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

He is going to Egypt

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

slim/athletic build in a t-shirt
muscular in a tshirt

Approximations. But I guess the defining thing is more "Is lean and defined with muscles with shirt off" vs. "muscles show through t-shirt due to overall size"

[–]SmoothBeliever1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

He looks at the stars

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]SmoothBeliever1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You looked at the stars

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're making excuses. Naturally thin means the opposite of what you said. You can get bulkier without getting fatter, it's just slower.

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's pretty much all it takes. You can safely ignore 99% of TRP.

Improve aesthetics -> Attract females.

[–]Bear-With-Bit2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Safely ignore 99% of TRP

If this was true, professional athletes and fit actors wouldn't get divorce-raped.

I get it you're trying to make a quick point, which will help the newbs here. But maintaining frame and understanding feminine sexual strategy are also critical, just as improving aesthetics is.

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I'd probably delete the word "safely".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

He was making a generalization. Pulling is still a numbers game. When you look good, you're increasing the chance that girls will want to fuck you with much less effort.

[–]McDrMuffinMan-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TRP isn't /r/seduction it's about nurturing and cultivating relationships to you benefit.

It's not about just a quick fuck, it's how do you always play the game with the cards stacked in your favor

[–]RedEyesBlueShades1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Depends for what.

Getting laid? Pretty much.

Swallowing the pill and digesting it without throwing up/feeling nauseous/being enraged? Sit down kiddo, the road is long and arduous.

But one thing is certain, now you're starting to understand why TRP advice numero one is lift!

[–]trainwithlino2 points3 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

There's no way you got jacked in six months bro. Progress is slow, just consider every situation an enjoyable experiment.

[–]1oldredder5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I got jacked in 4. If you do the proper super-sets and EVERY SINGLE week put in 3 to 5 hours of SOLID HARD LIFTING, yes you can do it.

Most people fail because of quitting too early or having a shit diet. I treat my food as fuel and discard EVERYTHING unhealthy.

[–]trainwithlino7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You don't know what jacked is.

[–]SoulRebel990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore him, he's just a menial optimist. ;)

[–]menial_optimist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah sorry, thats not possible without roids. Someone whos never seriouisly lifted weights before is not going to get jacked in 4 months. What you're talking about is noob gains, in the first 0-12 months of consistent lifting you could eat nearly any kind of shit food diet and still make big gains. Once you are 1.5-2 years in to consistent lifting the real challenge begins, where perfected routines and diet come into play.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah you absolutey can. This dude has no idea what he's talking about. You can get ripped in 2 months if you're hitting the gym hard 5 days a week.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not a fucking chance.

[–]RedEyesBlueShades0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking delusional.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]trainwithlino0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You got in better shape, you're not jacked.

[–]stumje0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

what types of dumbbell exercises?

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]stumje0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

how much weigh on them?

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]stumje0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

well lets say beach press

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]SmoothBeliever0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I choose a book for reading

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

welcome to noob gains. Keep up the good work.

[–]cranium123_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good for you, man. What are your other stats? Facial attractiveness, height and so on?

To people who don't believe about getting jacked in 6 months...I think they are right. However, you can get substantially stronger in 6 months when eating, sleeping and training with progress each workout. This includes not starting with empty bar if you can lift more because it wastes time.

[–]MaxwellGaine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's all in the posture.

Look at a guy who doesn't lift at all.

He's probably a bit hunched, forward head, closed hips and chest, rounded shoulders. Looking beta.

Test this. Go out, hunch over a little, look like grandpa who just got off his desk job. Note the number of unsolicited IOIs.

Now go do a workout with plenty of back work. Get your six or ten or whatever sets of rows in. Do some deadlifts. Do some shoulder presses.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Your lats feel like wings. Your shoulders are pulled back, your head is up high, your back is straight and feeling thick, tight, solid. You might not even notice all this, you just feel good.

Now go back out within an hour. Note the number of unsolicited IOIs again. In my experience, tons more. People will come up to you and open you. It's not some high vibration positivity woo-woo, it's your alpha posture. You didn't suddenly gain 20lbs of muscle that make you look great in that one workout, you gained a confident strong look.

[–]prodigy2throw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The funniest part in this is when you realize that women are more creepy in the workplace than any man could hope to be.

I've been swolested, groped, catcalled, stared at so much in the workplace I almost felt uncomfortable. Things that would be grounds for lawsuits if a man did it are normal.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]1oldredder-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you are consistent, decent DNA and healthy diet, yes, that's all it takes. If you are a douche asshole it will get you 10 minutes to 1 night of positive time before you're kicked to the curb.

For me it took only 4 months of lifting to get this effect. I retain the right to be a douche asshole for certain audiences and I don't care if it drives anyone away because they deserve it by the time I decide that's how to act around them.

[–]SmoothBeliever2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He chooses a book for reading

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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