Toggle Dark Theme
235,172 posts archived


So when I’m sober I’m a pretty laid back guy. I’ll make a joke or two occasionally but I have some social anxiety from some rough years in high school, even though college is 100% different.

When I’m drunk, my anxiety goes away and i turn into the most charismatic guy in the room every time. Even guys way more attractive I can one up through my personality. How can I get this side of me, one that doesn’t care what people think, come through naturally?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 94 points95 points  (9 children)

[–]1jacques_cousteau007 22 points23 points  (5 children)

I like this better than the micro dosing advice lol

Working your way out of anxiety. That’s the only sustainable way

[–]Sayianpride007 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Or see a psychiatrist and be given things that help anxiety (not barbiturates) to take the edge off while you learn how to be comfortable in your own skin socially.

Propranolol... phenomenal social anxiety cure. Used by actors, actresses, and public speakers. No effect on cognitive capability and isnt addictive. Pretty life changing for me.

[–]geturcraptogether 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Interesting. Propranolol is what my doc suggested for my high blood pressure. Didn't know it helped with anxiety also.

[–]Sayianpride007 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It doesnt attack anxiety in the typical fashion. What let's it keep your body from having your blood pressure raise also keeps your heart rate and blood pressure from responding to situations that would scare you.

If your about to give a speech and instead of your heart racing and stuff which will remind you how scared you are... instead, you just... dont. So in your head you never are even made aware that you should be feeling scared or anything and you just never get the fear to begin with.

[–]geturcraptogether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahhhhhhh gotcha. Makes sense. Less stress, less anxiety, more calmness.

[–]menial_optimist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thanks uncle v

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

ive read it. In fact, I’ve read most of if everything worthwhile TRP has to offer, yet I’m still feeling this way. And it isn’t based in reality one bit. I’m an incredibly social person. I’m in a fraternity. I’m good looking and people invariably love me (as cock as it sounds it’s absolutely true) yet I still have this horrible anxiety about myself for no reason.

When I’m sober I’m a cool guy that people like. When I’m even buzzed my charisma can absolutely own a room, and it hurts my confidence even more to see these glimpses of your ideal self seem so close yet at the same time so far away.

[–]bluesnsouls 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was at your place, stop drinking and you'll notice how party after party you'll feel more confident, you're giving alcohol too much credit, if stopping completely doesn't works for you, drink less.

[–]BrutalMan420 46 points47 points  (7 children)

probably because youre not drunk when youre sober

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (4 children)

How do i reach that energy level on a daily basis though?

[–]BrutalMan420 24 points25 points  (3 children)

yeah i was being ridiculous. my bad.

the more you force yourself into these types of situations the better you deal with them. i was a real recluse for the better part of ten years so i know you can change. its like anything dude, muscles and willpower grow the more you use them. so will your personality.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

The shitty part is that I’m already incredibly social. I have a fantastic social life, and am pretty much the “alpha male” as trp describes it to a T when I’m fucked up, but I can’t always muster the energy when I’m sober and it makes me hella insecure.

[–]11-Eleven-11 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Its because you're an introvert. And introvert doesnt mean antisocial. Social interactions drain your energy and being alone restores that energy. I'm the same way and I havent found a way around it yet. Alcohol is a good fix because it loosens you up and gives you that energy boost through confidence. Like what he said before the only way to fix it would probably be exposure to social situations.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be but idk about any longer. I spend literally almost the entirety of freshman year being social almost 24/7 for the entire year. Same with the summer. If I’m not social I get incredibly bored super super fast.

[–]constantin_brancusi 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You can. You just have to stop caring. In order to stop caring you have to take action and - implicitly - make "mistakes" or "blunders", according to your own definition. Once you do that and see that nothing happens and life just goes on, your prefrontal cortex (which, actually is the main region affected by alcohol) will stop inhibiting your behaviour while you're sober.

In other words, you are inhibiting your behaviour based on some implicit rules you have created long ago. Your "inhibition device" (prefrontal cortex) is affected by alcohol, so you get to be more like your natural, automatic self while drunk. Making mistakes against the rules of the prefrontal cortex and continuing on living painlessly reduces the enforcement rate of the rules.

In other words..."just do it".

[–]jagdecat 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Because you care too much. Learn to stop caring. Start with meditation.

[–]smolzino 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Meditation is some bullshit generic answer thrown everywhere now. What does it even define? I don't think meditation helps so much with social anxiety. What helps however is affirmative action, exposure, positive beliefs supported by positive experiences, and relativism. If you meditate for hours in your room like a retard, it won't magically turn you into a low inhibition social butterfly once you are in a loud party with hot girls around, sexual tension in the air and fierce competition. What will help you however is to expose yourself more to these situations, to gradually get out of your comfort zone, to get rejected and see that it doesn't matter, to be willing to express yourself and see that you can show personality without being ridiculed etc etc. Fuck "meditation"

[–]COW_WHISPERER 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I'm all for meditation but personally I've found it makes me far more aware of what's going on in my body and mind, which can make things worse when you're trying to socialize---at least short term. Socializing is an extroverted activity and inner awareness is an introverted activity. It can help with one-on-one interactions by increasing your ability to concentrate but I'm not sure how it can help when you're trying to be a social butterfly and work a room. Anyone experience something different?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hmmm Ive met some strange people who would attract more people if they cared a little more.

[–]Bruchibre 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Why can’t i always be like my drunk self?

You said it yourself. It's your anxiety. Get rid of it with other ways.

[–]HeadingRed 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Start practicing being the sober version of drunk you when your out shopping and running errands. Do this only when there are no women around that you might be attracted to. It will build your confidence and give you practice.

Your not as self concious or inhibited. Also keep in mind you're probably remembering yourself as being better as much or more that how much better you actually were.

And all the drunks around you also remember you better than you were. You're all drunk and having a good time- so everyone's memory is rose colored.

[–]soredx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Alcohol is the standard social lubricant of Western civilization.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

They don’t call it liquid courage for nothing. Women aren’t impressed by a man who’s drunk that says sly things. They’re impressed when he is sober because most guys are just like you. They have to drink to talk to someone and that in of itself is insecurity. You don’t learn to ride a bike by asking people on a forum. You get on your gear and pull out your bike.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]room_303 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Because you think your apparent 'one upping' of other men is an attractive trait.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of several misfires that I noted in OP’s description. For example, an alpha is never out to one up other men rather a true alpha knows that networking and building wing men out of those alphas is the smarter move. The goals and aspirations that OP has outlined are not rooted in smart TRP.

[–]sashimiforthroat 5 points6 points  (1 child)

bro i hate my drunk self

...maybe its cause i love myself

[–]Luftiwaffe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so OP hates himself

[–]Casd12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always be drunk, problem solved

[–]BlueBlus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

[–]Oakstock 0 points1 point  (15 children)

Honestly, and not sure of the drug stance on here, but microdosing LSD can get you in that same frame of mind, closer to sober. We're talking low dose, 10 to 20 micrograms, so you don't get any hallucinations. Maybe a beer or two the first few times to adjust your senses. Practicing the behaviour long enough microdosing, and you should be able to replicate without.

[–]flml 1 points1 points [recovered]

There is no sustainable external solution to this. The change has to come from within. Meditation and more introspection is good way to start changing for good.

In the long run OP has to up his inner game drastically. He has complexes that are holding him back.

[–]Oakstock 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Nope, not sustainable, it has to be weened off. But effective. Steroids work for muscles, too. And provide lasting improvements years after they are discontinued. But yeah, not everybody likes shortcuts.

[–]flml 1 points1 points [recovered]

An effective yet controllable method should be advised. I don’t acknowledge your steroid analogy since they have a massive negative impact in other areas. Much less than LSD.

While LSD could effectively yield a desired improvement, you should not forget that a psychological dependency, hence an addiction, could arise. Let’s neglect the fact that it is also illegal to purchase LSD.

Mastering your negative emotions means staying in control when a feeling overwhelms you. Using external influence is counterproductive. Further, this also goes for medical treatments of depressive and anxiety disorders, as they are only effective, when applied alongside of psychotherapy (i.e. inner game work).

So, taking it further, while doing an shamanic trip experience can help you face your traumas, you could also have a bad trip which will fuck you up for good. There was a very effective screaming therapy method used in the past, which is today generally neglected because it turns out it is hard to control for the therapist.

Facing your demons and sitting for a year axioms for 20 Minuten a day is fucking. Your mind will find a millions ways not to sit. An itch, a thought, 1000 thoughts. But going down this path is the way to go here. You will improve and you will have positive effects from it. It’s not a magic pill solution. It’s hard work but it pays off.

[–]Oakstock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I am not knocking meditation. In fact, I believe it to be one of the best practices on psychedelics, along with sex. Look at someone like Ram Dass for an educated, conservative individual who went down the rabbithole of psychedelics and wound up meditating in Nepal.

But different people have different levels of risk aversion, some max out their 401k, others blow their savings on a wild trip to Ibiza every year. I offered one method. It may not suit the "get rich slowly" method of inner game, I was coming from a place of partying like a rockstar and getting laid in my youth. Confidence and not giving a fuck are their own forms of inner game.


[–]waynebradysworld 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Putting any foreign substance in your body every day has negative long-term side effects. That's worse than a bandaid, it's flat out destructive

[–]Oakstock 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Bless your heart. Best results combating alcoholism ever were in the early 1960's studies on LSD. Worked for Archie Leach.

[–]waynebradysworld 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How's ol Archie holding up these days?

[–]Oakstock 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Whelp, he lived to 82 when the life expectancy was barely 70, and boned Dianne Cannon when she was smoking hawt and he was in his sixties. How does your run compare?

[–]waynebradysworld 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Good for him, still don't know who he or she is though. How's lsd working out for you?

[–]Oakstock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wonderful, I am a happy, financially stable individual. Thanks for asking. Cheers.

[–]Rollo_Mayhem3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The fda is considering the use of hallunigentic drugs to treat ptsd and depression among veterans i believe.

[–]goldenboy2017 0 points1 point  (2 children)

While I wholly agree with you, you're not going to get a positive response from people on this sub. Keep in mind how uninformed most people are about drugs. Also, LSD and other psychedelics can be dangerous for some people to take, so it shouldn't be recommended to just anyone. You don't know OP, so, it may not be the best advice.

[–]frontyer0077 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Microdosing is not the same as a normal dose. When miceodosing you wont get any "high" or a trip. You will feel completely sober, but happier, more open etc. Its a great thing and really helps lots of people. But it wont fix the problem. Just like drinking alcohol wont fix it.

[–]Oakstock -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with that whole heartedly, that is why I did recommend microdoses. Some people fuck their mental world going into the abyss. I enjoy trp subs, but not a big poster, when this popped into my feed, just struck a chord.

Just goes to show, a person can be a pussy their whole life, and still follow red pill tenets. Fuck that noise, I am enjoying a cigarette in one of the windy spells between the rain from Florence at the moment. Be a fucking shame if I live to 70, I have 3 confirmed healthy kiddos, maybe more, already beaten Darwin's game.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)


[–]bluemoviebaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drinking long term will make your Anxiety Worse!!

[–]MisterDSTP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you cannnnn

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

took me 20 years to get better, but I did get better. time and effort are your only friends in this fight.

[–]L1amas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to pretend to be drunk in a fake it til you make it kind of way.

[–]thisiswhyicant -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I’m the same exact way. I’m trying to figure it out myself.

[–]-saltymangos- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

same thing happened to me.

i got really high about 2 weeks ago. i was lying in my bed self reflecting and i thought to myself “why can’t i be like this when i’m sober? i have 0 social anxiety, i don’t give a shit about what people think, nothing.” so i had a type of revaluation. a sort of genie appeared in my visualization. he asked me what i wanted and i replied with “i wish i could be like ‘this’ when i’m sober. no social anxiety. no worries. no ‘what if’s’.” so the genie went into a yellow cabinet and pulled out something and gave it to me and said “now you’re cured!!”

i opened my eyes and felt “different.” over the next few days i REALLY noticed my social anxiety had gone down and i didn’t care that much about what people thought of me. now it’s not near the same level it is when i’m high but i’m working to that.

sounds crazy but it’s true.

[–]ReddJive -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thisnis how I know you're a just going through the motions.

It's in your head. Alcohol is a depressant,, which means it slows the function of the central nervous system. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person’s perceptions, emotions, movement, vision, and hearing.

It also causes a sense of euphoria similiar to orgasms.

Women blame alcohol on a lot of things. So you're telling everyone here alcohol made you do it. No. You're making yourself not do it in this case. Get out of your head. It's pretty fucking simple. Theres not much else to tell. Your hamster is wishing something that you can decide to do.

[–]1predator -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do not use alcohol. Force yourself. If it doesnt work go to a psychiatrist. Antidepperesants may give you the possibility of dont caring what people think without drunk stupidity. Of course do not use them unless a psychiarist say to do. You should still force yourself but this time it will be easier and less painful.

[–]handybh89 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This might sound gay but what about when you’re not drunk on alcohol, be drunk on life?