I've been an active user of braincels and mgtow for half a year and I want to get out of this

SirKolbath · 2018-05-24T05:29:16+00:00

People bully others less than you think. Go to the gym. Lift. There are dozens of free workouts on the inexpensive app jefit, which is available for iPhone or Android. Start light and follow the instructions on form.

First things first, get your body right. Raise your testosterone by eating well and lifting. Next, read the sidebar. This is critical. It'll help you work your mind.

Phase back video games and porn. Some is fine, particularly when trying to improve. Going cold turkey is difficult and you're already making huge changes.

Seek out hobbies where you create or build something. Music. Building models. Writing, etc. Make something you can look at in a few months and see exists because of you.

Take one day at a time. How are you going to make improvements on that day? Don't worry about next week.

vandaalen · 2018-05-24T05:49:30+00:00

I've taken a gym membership of 3 months but I feel very anxious when I'm around Normal people. I'm afraid they'll bully me.

They won't even notice you. They don't give a shit. they are in the gym to work out, not to observe other people.

I personally would even go the harder route and go to a bjj gym. You'll be forced to socialize and you'll make friends.

replicaplater · 2018-05-24T06:26:23+00:00

First, congrats on being self aware enough to get out of those subs and make the choice to strive for a better life. To get out of the negativity sink you’re in I’ll suggest that you look at your life thus far and find the positives and appreciate that there are other people in this world that have it much worse than you do. The fact that you have access to the internet, video games and a roof over your head is something that a lot of people on this world can only dream about. We take a lot of these things for granted, and if you can start to appreciate the things you have now, it’s going to help you appreciate the journey in front of you.

empatheticapathetic · 2018-05-24T08:41:15+00:00

Simply dropping your smart phone would do you wonders. Reddit is a black hole of social anxiety and anger.

Nergaal · 2018-05-24T11:10:39+00:00

Google Jordan Peterson

look_good · 2018-05-24T10:40:08+00:00

bro, good job prioritizing the gym. the iron temple saved my life. don't be scared of the gym...strangers in gyms are 10x better than strangers anywhere else...it's all people looking to better themselves, we're all going through our own shit.

you came to the right place man, toughen up, always look to better yourself.

watch some stand-up comedy, that shit helped me see the light side of life and made it easier to laugh through the bullshit. it can help you w your social interactions. the black phillip show is highly regarded on trp, you can find it on youtube, 13 episodes or so, you'll get good insight into female nature.

EhzmwGGh · 2018-05-24T08:52:35+00:00

World doesn't spin around you. No one is going to notice or remember what you have done in public unless it was really outstanding. People generally do not give a fuck about other people. And if someone tries to bully you at the gym just ignore it, the guy doing that is probably there because he is insecure as fuck.

Auvergnat · 2018-05-24T10:06:00+00:00

Your body and mind have been shaped over million of years to function in a certain way. You're literally a biological machine with set functions. You're going mad because in this modern world you're doing anything but what you're supposed to do. You don't use your body how it's meant to be used, you don't use your dick the way it's meant to be used, you don't put food in your body that you're supposed to put there, you don't feed your mind with what you're supposed to feed it.

You gotta go back to the basics: exercise your body, eat food that is normal for humans, sleep as much as your body needs, socialize with other humans, and go after girls.

But of course if you haven't done these things in a while, it's going to be difficult to get to it. Just stick to it and believe in the process of becoming a human.

damaged_goods420 · 2018-05-24T11:58:53+00:00

The incel mindset is total fucking cancer dude. It seems like a bunch of dudes jerking off about how unfair life is and continually having a victim mentality. It's awesome you're seeking out the gym and realize how toxic incels really are, it will only hold you back in life. If you need someone to talk to about anything my PMs are always open, I'm always down to help a brother out.

lifeisweirdasfuck · 2018-05-24T12:54:25+00:00

Blackpill may lead to suicide. I've been browsing black pill forums for a month and was constantly looking for my facial imperfections (things you can't change and therefore shouldn't give a fuck about) and everywhere I went I noticed guys taller and more attractive than me and I thought "that guy is lucky, he should be fucking chicks every day" which led to crippling depression. I still see the world that way. I always see how girls orbit around attractive and popular guys and inside I want to be like them. I want women to do shit for me, I want women to submit to me. Thing is, you need to move your ass and work hard to get that. If you're not 100% genetically gifted like me, accept that, and move on. There's no point in being depressed about something you can't change, seriously. Make money, just do something to increase your value. Lifting helps too of course.

SirKolbath · 2018-05-24T06:07:48+00:00

You might find this thread useful.

theromanshcheezit · 2018-05-24T13:53:01+00:00

Your therapist is literally spot on. I was definitely in the same place you were in 6 months ago. My attempted suicide catalyzed me to change myself. Now I’ve become focused on concentrating on things I find important and not staying disconnected from the groups of people around me.

Here are some of the things that have been helping me.

Going outside: This one is a must. You have to go outside and socialize everyday, even if you don’t feel like it or want to. At first just sit outside and watch what’s going on around you. Look at some of the people nearby or walking past you. Try to make momentary eye contact with people as they walk by and smile.
Find a Meetup group centered around something you’re interested in: If you live in a big city, this one is a must. What do you like to do? What do you enjoy doing even though you might not be able to make a career out of it? Try to do it as often as possible and make sure you’re doing it with people. For example, I played a lot of soccer when I was younger (Dad is from Africa, it’s in our DNA), and though I was good enough to be on our varsity team in high school, I only came to my school of choice on an academic scholarship. Despite this, I make a point every weekend to go to the soccer field near my dorm and play with men from around the community. I do it for cardiovascular health and because looking forward to it genuinely improves my disposition.
Read/Listen to a Book: Since you’re on r/asktrp, I’m guessing you’re looking for insights about how to be a more attractive, social and assertive man and how to deal with women first. Reading the sidebar might do you some good in the beginning but I’ve read all of it and at first it felt good to see other men who go through the same thing but over time (I reread it recently) it started to sound like it came from a place of anger and bitterness rather than genuine acceptance of reality. A better book on self help would be Models: Attracting Women through Honesty by Mark Manson. You can get it on audible. (Also No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover is an excellent too)
Talk to everyone (Or at Least Try to): Whether y’all are alone on an elevator, walking back from class or the cafeteria or sitting on a park bench, try to start a conversation with someone else (bonus points if it’s an attractive female). Try to feel the conversation, don’t force it, the other people will know you’re forcing it and it would strain the conversation. If you trail into silence, it’s fine, excuse yourself and walk away. You aren’t going to hit it off with everyone but you’ll never know who you will hit off with unless you talk to them.
Lift, Lift, Lift: I’m a huge fucking believer in lifting. Personally (and I think this works for most people) it gives a sense of responsibility and dedication to oneself. It compels you to change your lifestyle and focus on watching what you eat. This focus and sense of dedication and responsibility will seep into the rest of your life and enhanced discipline.
Its a Fucking Process: Yep, and your end goal isn’t a girlfriend, sleeping with 10,20,50 women. There is no really hard limit. You’re doing this for yourself and no one else. This is for your health and your well being. You aren’t doing this to impress anyone, you’re doing this to keep you from sliding back to being depressed and lonely and wallowing in your own self pity.

TL:DR; 1. Going Outside 2. Find a Meetup group centered around something you’re interested in 3. Read/Listen to a Book: Recommendations: Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty, and No More Mr. Nice Guy 4. Try to Talk to Everyone (even it’s something simple like “What time is it?” 5. Lift, Lift, Lift (Or do cardio — lose the body fat) 6. Its a Fucking Process (You’re doing this for yourself and you have no deadline.)

_the_shape_ · 2018-05-24T09:13:40+00:00

Pushups. Lots and lots and lots of pushups. Always trying to do more than what you did previously.

Same for squats and lunges. Mountain-climbers. Burpees.

All of these you can do from the comfort of your own home. No excuses. If the gym fucks with your head too much (it shouldn't; that's severely over-played, but I'm sympathetic), you have no reason not to develop a very respectable physique by simply constantly doing those bodyweight exercises while striving to raise the number of reps and/or resistance (i.e. pushups with a filled bookbag, weighted dips).

NewBoomAction · 2018-05-24T15:22:51+00:00

This post made me happy! Wanna know why? You've taken the first step towards success. Congrats man!!! Seriously. This brotherhood is here to guide you. Not hold your hand. I won't deceive you, you have a mountain to climb. But that climb will turn you into a man who gives more than he takes.

After 2 years here my best advice is to get in the mindset of "jumping into the deep end." Try new things. Best wishes.

You're among friends here.

kurdishpower01 · 2018-05-24T12:50:12+00:00

Don't use the internet for a few days

meaningintragedy · 2018-05-24T13:45:56+00:00

What the fuck has MGTOW to do with this?

yunhaila · 2018-05-24T13:56:38+00:00

Humans are social creatures. When left alone without social contact, our brains release a chemical that is correlated with depression symptoms. But that’s easily corrected by going to the gym, going to the park, going to meetups, yoga, whatever stuff with people around.

What the red pill will do is empower you and give you tools to get from point A to point B, which is your dream of a happier life. What pickup will do is get you in touch with other men who also want to improve. Getting myself in an environment of like minded improvers was probably the most important step in my own change from nerdy loser to unfazable leader.

I’ve seen incredible transformations. But all transformations have two things in common: a person with determination for discipline in life, and the balls to go out there, get rejected, get bullied, over and over again. So what if ‘normal’ people bully you. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Tiberiusaurus · 2018-05-24T14:38:04+00:00

Receding hairline? Immediately shave your head. One problem solved, on to the next.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-05-24T14:53:37+00:00

Shave your head, sort out your diet for bulking, go to the gym and lift.

Personal trainer if you can afford it. Take out all your frustration at the gym. It's the gym's fault you're having these problems and with every lift you're sticking it to the man, you're crawling out of the hole.

As you get stronger you'll feel more confident, like more of a man, and you'll also notice people give you more respect.

Address other areas like hobbies and interests. Replace negative parts of your life with positive ones.

[deleted] · 2018-05-24T15:46:14+00:00

I got addicted to that sub r/braincels and sorted of gave up on life.

One of the things that surprises me is this need for some people to be part of a reddit sub. You see this discussed on trp regularly, where people write about other subs: nofap, mgtow, incel, etc. The truth is if you want to better yourself, lift and get the fuck off reddit if it's not helping your life.

[deleted] · 2018-05-24T16:00:52+00:00

Breaks my heart that you feel so alone, my man. If I may paraphrase Jordan Peterson a bit (whose Youtube videos I highly recommend, they helped spark me to get my act together), see this period of your life as a narrative of you facing darkness head on so that you may emerge victorious back into the light.

Its not easy. However, noone who knows anything about life will ever tell you it is. Life can beat you pretty far down, which is where you feel you're at right now. Luckily, you have control over when and how you can start climbing back up. Here's what I recommend for you personally, knowing that this has worked for me from my 20th until now at 26. Some of these steps came later, wish they hadn't.

Lift. Goddamn you, lift. There's nothing better for the soul than the discipline of reforging your weak, pasty-ass body with iron and sweat into something you're proud to look at in the mirror. LIFT.
Stay in therapy, if its a good therapist that challenges you to become braver bit by bit.
I, too, started losing my hair around 20-21. Just going to rip the bandaid off, there is no reversing it. Except with bullshit that fucks with your hormones or a transplant, which no specialist worth his salt will even consider doing until you're 25. I'm lucky to have been blessed with a face that can handle the bald look, I now own it and plenty of ladies love rubbing my head hours before I'm pounding them straight into a hernia. Get a tan and some muscle so you don't look like a cancer patient and just buzz your hair short or shave it all off with a razor. Spare yourself the mental torture of seeing your hair slowly flush down the shower drain over many years. Be a bald-ass motherfucker. With tattoos and a beard. We're an exclusive club ;)
Become a bartender or find any kind work in the service industry except hotels.

I've worked in the service industry since I was 18 and I can honestly say that the social skills and people it inevitably brings with it are going to be useful for the rest of your life. I live in a country where the pay for it isn't complete shit like in the US, however I would still recommend it for anyone. Start as a waiter and climb your way up to bartender or become one immediately if you can. The best way to learn how to interact with people and to meet them is to make working with them your profession. It forces you to get out there and socialize and, even better, its incentivized with money.

LIFT

I hope any of this will help you on your journey, my man. Hold your head high and stay the course. Good luck!

chazthundergut · 2018-05-24T16:47:45+00:00

Welcome. You sound like you are ready for change. That is good, because no one can change your life for you. This is the first thing you must fully integrate into your mindset and life:

You are the only one responsible for your self, your life, and your happiness

Do not blame women. Do not blame society. Go stand in front of a mirror and behold the enemy against whom you struggle.

Also understand this: the core issue isn't women. Women are just the judges. The core issue is that you are failing at life. Women are biologically hardwired to prevent losers like you from reproducing. It isn't their fault that you failed the test of manhood. The good news is, you have control of your destiny. You can turn the ship around, starting right now, and get yourself onto the path of Strength and Discipline.

But remember: this is a journey that can take months and even years. There is no quick fix. It is not a battle; it is a long siege. A sustained campaign against weakness and mediocrity and failure. Transforming yourself into a high-value Man is hard work. To find your purpose and grind on it every single day is not easy. You will have to kill your inner bitch. You will have to gut it out and accept your burden of responsibility as a man. The burden of leadership and strength and self-discipline.

Here are some actionable steps for you to get started:

Wake up early every morning. Set your alarm the night before, and when it goes off you get up and go. Start each morning by making your bed.
Work out every day. Even if it's just gut work or jogging, you should be doing some physical activity every single day. This is the number one way you're gonna conquer your depression. Also get a gym membership and start a strength routine. As a man, lifting is mandatory.

Once you've started a daily routine of waking up early, doing your bed, and working out, come back here and we'll get you onto the next steps. But you can't skip the first two; they are fundamental for your success in life (and by extension women).

Good luck.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2018-05-24T18:00:14+00:00

I never really understood a large part of this mentality after my early teenage years. If you have no friends or family around then you have no obligations to anyone or anything but yourself. There's always a silver lining. When you have nothing you are free to do anything. If I ever was on the verge of suicide I would just flip the table and start anew somewhere else because whatever is around me at that time obviously didn't mean shit to me.

intermittentrapping · 2018-05-24T19:03:57+00:00

If you need someone to talk to every now and then just hit me up!

MattyAnon · 2018-05-24T20:29:15+00:00

I noticed that my behavior and life has gone worse since I've joined them

Leave all incel communities They want you to stay celibate to grow their numbers.

So can anyone plz suggest me on how can I get out of this to become a normal healthy human being.

more effort, more friends, more social, at all costs.

ADeadDawg · 2018-05-24T21:15:06+00:00

"receding hairline at 20".. lol bro i was going bald by the time i was about 15.. high school was a nightmare for me, i was the dude with the fucked up hairline and bald spot.. luckily i'm tall, muscular, and have a good face.. just shave your fucking head and deal. nothing worse than a guy who tries to hold onto something thats not there..

JSizzl3 · 2018-05-24T22:05:13+00:00

I've taken a gym membership of 3 months but I feel very anxious when I'm around Normal people. I'm afraid they'll bully me.

1: Get "normal people" out of your vocabulary; a lot of people have more going on beneath the surface than you think.

2: There are no such things as bullies after a certain age; for the most part people pay little attention to others around them because they have so much going on in their own lives.

2.5: Actually people are very willing to be helpful if you ask genuinely (read How to Win Friends... by Dale Carnegie for more on this. Oh, and this sub too, I guess).

Edited for formatting

Sero-Flex · 2018-05-25T01:40:30+00:00

Can’t recommend joining a Brazilian Jiu jitsu/MMA gym enough. You wouldn’t expect it but my gym is the most accepting positive learning environment I’ve ever been in, and I went to “one of the best high schools” in my state. I can’t tell you the amount of times a higher belt has seen me struggling with a technique and stayed after class to help me with it. Really great guys. Also, it’ll give you that social interaction you need and it’s a hell of a workout. And since literally everybody has been that new white belt just starting out, nobody is gonna give you shit for being bad.

creating_my_life · 2018-05-25T04:07:23+00:00

I still consider myself as ugly with a receding hairline at 20.

nobody gives a shit.

I've taken a gym membership of 3 months but I feel very anxious when I'm around Normal people.

nobody gives a shit.

I'm afraid they'll bully me.

they won't.

Do you know what I silently think to myself when I see a scrawy guy, fat girl, or literally the least athletic person in the fucking world in the gym?

"good for you. congrats for showing up. you've got this."

start with the basics. sleep from 10pm to 6:30am every day. eat healthy. move.

Agni_Forma · 2018-05-24T12:25:38+00:00

Ask /u/empatheticapathetic for advice

saggygooch20 · 2018-05-24T06:07:05+00:00

Firstly can you actually get addicted to a sub reddit because I don't believe that you can. The Internet as a whole maybe but not a page full of depressed men. You can practice lower levels of MGTOW here with the pump and dump rule.